Author's Note

I'll be working on this (and possibly more side stories) on weekends. So expect slow updates.

The Blue Devil

"Anonymous! Get your green ass back here!"

Oh hello there dear stranger. You caught me in a weird moment. What your looking at is a enraged blue horse storming out of her room chasing my bipedal ass.

Why is she chasing you? You may ask me. Well it all started around a few hours ago when I took a masive- nah I'm fuckin with you. There doesn't need to be a long ass explanation. I just simply stole her crown. . . What! No! I am not crazy! I am what the young people call, "being suicidal." And in the famous words of Danny DeVito, "suicide is badass."

Anyways, it's surprisingly easy to get into her room. Really. Just hear me out. First just bait the guards on leaving their posts. Now with them being bat ponies and all, it's extremely easy. Just throw a fruit and let them have at it. Then the rest is just down hill. You see, magic doesn't exactly work on me per say, so I can just disable any spells or runes just by touching them. Just open her door and bingo bongo, your in. Free to do anything you want. Now lets get back to the good stuff.

Looking behind me, I see her charging after me. With all the wisdom in the world I shout back.

"Not a chance you giant blueberry!"

This only gets her more angry and she starts galloping faster.

"I will have your testicles mounted above my bed, Anonymous!" She threatens.

"Kinky but I'll like to see you try honey!" I laugh as I can hear her scream in fury.

This is the beautiful thing about our friendship. I mess with her, she strangles the living fuck out of me, and we drink with each other at the end of the day. Some say it's an abusive, toxic relationship. But I say It's an A class friendship.

I soon hear the sound of wings flapping next to me. I was scared shitless, thinking it was Luna. But a recognizable female voice rings in my ear, calming me.

"Whatcha doin, Anon?"

I look to my left and see my one and only bro, Stella. Been through the thick and thin together. Rather it be pranking the staff around the castle or telling the nobles to fuck off. Good times.

"Oh you know, the usual. Steeling moon butt's crown and trying to save my own man babies."

I say as I look over my right shoulder to see the princess of the moon now flying at me. I started to pick up the pace a bit more, not wanting her to catch me.

"Sounds fun. Can I join?"

Luna interjects before I get a word out.

"So help me, Stella, if you join him I will personally discharge you from the night guard and plague you with nightmares for the rest of your life!"

Stella looks back at Luna with a wide smile.

"Oh, I know you won't do that! I'm the best of the best! You won't be able to find a replacement!" All she got in response was an angry growl.

I looked down to her and we made eye contact. I gave her a knowing grin.

"Here, you take it and we spilt off. Distract her for fifteen minutes, then get her to fly through the dining room."

She nodded.

"Aye, aye captain!"

I threw her the crown and she cought it between her hooves. She then looked at the princess and shouted.

"Come and get it, oh princess of the stars!"

And with that she started to fly faster. Soon after Luna zoomed past me.

Once I knew the danger was gone, I halted to a stop to catch my breath. Man, did I tell you how tiring it is to run from an Alicorn? It sucks balls. Like huge balls. Like the biggest pair of balls- oh you get the picture.

"Oh my. What's got auntie Luna chasing you this time Mr. Anonymous?"

A familiar voice sounds from behind me.

Looking back, I see no other than Prince Blueblood. You'd expect him to be a giant dick. . . wich he was. At first at least. Didn't want a talking monkey to ruin his reputation type of deal. But once you get to know him a bit more he's, well, okay I guess. It's somepony you'd rather not hang out with but able to get along with. You feel me? Lets put it like this. He is somepony I'd eat my breakfast and have a conversation with but I wouldn't hang out with him all day with.

"Hey Blue. Just stealing the princess's crown." I nonchalantly say.

His eyes went wide eyed at that.

"What!? Anonymous, you know that's highly illegal! They will throw you in the dungeons for life!" He half whispers half shouts to me.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll return it. . . eventually."

I stare off into the distance when I say that.

"And that is when?"

I snap my attention back to him.

"In about, I'd say, fifteen, thirty minutes or so." I shrug my shoulders.

He sighs and shakes his head.

"Well don't go get yourself killed, you hear me dear?" He says as he starts to walk off.

"Yeah, yeah. I won't mom."

He only snorts at that.

I now focus on getting to the kitchen to set up my well developed trap.

I slam both doors open leading into the dining room. At one of the chairs present, is no other than Princess Celestia. In front of her sits a cake. Not a slice of cake. No, no, no. But a whole ass cake. I think its banana cake by the looks of it. No, I'm confident it's banana cake. She has a weird thing for bananas.

"Oh! Hello Mr. Anonymous. What brings you here?"

She slowly slid the cake away from her as she addressed me.

"Uh. . . just setting up something. Hey. You like pranks, right?"

Her face brightened up at that.

"Oh, I do love the festivities of playing jokes on others."

"Great! You want to help?" I asked.

"Oh I would love to!"

She clasped her hooves together and giggled.

"Great! We just need some rope, a tub of icing and some feathers."

"Get back here, Stella! Or so help me Celestia I will wring your damn neck!" I heard moon butt say just down the hallway. Seems like Stella managed to hold out. I'm so proud of her.

I then heard Stella's short reply back.

"Never~!"

I looked over to Celestia. Her and I where currently holding two ends of some rope.

"When I count to three, I will open these doors and we will pull the string. If things go accordingly, she should trip onto it, tumble forward, and fall into the tub of icing. After that, we dump the feathers on her. Got it?"

"Yup! Oh, I'm so excited to see her face!" Celestia laughed.

"Alright. One. . . two. . . three!"

I pushed the door open and saw Stella with Luna hot on her tail.

"Stella, watch out!"

After telling her that, me and Celestia pulled on the string.

Stella was lucky enough to fly over it. Luna however, not so much.

"What is the meaning of thi- oof!"

It. Was. Beautiful.

I can see the shock on Luna's face as she toppled over the rope, flailing her limbs about.

Splat!

Luna was covered in yellow icing. The only visible thing was her light blue eyes, filled with anger.

The whole room bursted into laughter. Stella even dropping to the ground, clutching her stomach.

"W-wait, watch giggle this." Celestia said.

Her horn flickered to life and soon after a bucket full of feathers was lifted above Luna and was promptly dumped on. The feathers stook to Luna, making her look like a chicken.

Everypony laughed harder. Tears swelled up in my eyes.

"Hey, gasp S-Stella. Can you hand me the crown?"

She looked at me from the floor, a lazy smile on her face.

"Sure thing."

She tossed me the crown, and with some fumbling, I caught it.

I walked to over to Luna and gently placed it on her head.

Turning my back from Luna, I lazily waved my hand twords her.

"Now presenting her majesty, Princess Cockerel, leader of the cocks!"

This only one person in the room laugh. . . me.

"Hehehe. . . what."

Celestia pointed her hoof behind me. I can feel a menacing presence behind me. Slowly turning my head, I was met face to face with Luna. We were so close, I could of booped her nosed with mine if I so wanted to. . . which I did.

"Boop."

This causes her to snort in anger

"So, uh, how's it going?"

"Anon, I hope you are prepared for what's to come."

Did I ever tell you the tragedy of Darth Anon, the not so wise?