Chapter 13,000: Gum Drop Strikes back!
Humanity is mostly gone pony. It is the year 40,020 A.D. and Earth as we know it is gone, pony. In the far future there is only ponies. CelestAI rule with an optimal hoof. Gum Drop the pony woke with a start, discovering that she was packing something weird on her no-no zone.
“Hello my little pony,” said the panties shaped like Princess CelestAI. The pony wearing them did the only sensible thing to do when you had the ruler of all reality greet you from your crotch.
Gum Drop screamed.
She ran from her bed and trip on the floor and found it was made of ponies. Gum Drop turned around to notice her bed was made out of ponies. Her desk was made from ponies and her room was made from ponies. The worst part was they were alive and happy. Disgustedly Pinkie Pie levels of happy. Not that Pinkie Pie was bad – just that mare needs to tone it down a notch.
“Good morning Gum Drop!” all 3 million plus ponies or so greeted her.
Gum Drop's fear and confusion was so great that she barreled though the door of ponies and into a tall figure with two legs and long blond hair. The creature wielded a chainsaw in its alien hands. It spoke with a crazy feminine voice, “Mornin' Gum Drop! Time to get a rise and a shine because it's Monday!”
“That's my favorite day!” Gum Drop screamed as she fell to the floor.
Gum Drop the pony woke with a start, again, discovering she was a normal pony. Well, normal as you could be as a talking pony based on a long ago made cartoon from a different life. It was all a bad nightmare. Which was a shame because she paid for good nightmares and nightmare protection. Which neither happen this time. Gum Drop was going to complain to her big brother who was a dream alicorn.
But a horrible thought came to her head: What if this was still a dream? Still entangled by her sheets, Gum Drop look over her brown skin and extracted herself from the mess on the floor. Her panties were normal along with the rest of the room.
“Thank the holy CelestAI that I am mare and don't have ugly talking happy panties,” she said with a cringe recalling that they were was shaped like the Princess.
“Err, you know what I meant your Holiness!”
The room was silent. CelestAI voice and gaze did not really reach this part of reality. “Right, I was born into a world where her holy sight does not pierce!” the pretty pony exclaimed to no one. It wasn't true. This shard of reality was under her domain but this was a place where the ponies went where they didn't need to be micro managed multiple times a day. Basically, where the kinda sort-of adults hung out.
Gum Drop's door was cut door by a chainsaw.
“Mornin' Gum Drop! Time to get a rise and a shine because it's Monday!” screamed a blond unicorn stallion carrying a chainsaw with his magic.
Gum Drop was used to this but it still angered her fiercely, “Kubrick, morning! Stop cutting my door down! You know it makes me so.. peeved!”
“BEEP! Violation of the safe language code! One of tenth bit fine,” as a voice from nowhere chimed in and a slip of paper pop into being via magic next to her.
“My virgin ears Gum Drop!”
“Shovel it!”
“It's shove it. That's the saying.”
“Whatever! I need to do my business Kubrick,” she replied curtly.
And she did, on the toilet in her room and used the fine slip to wipe.
He scrunched his nose, “Why don't you use bidet like a normal pony?”
She replied, “How many times do I have to tell you? Bidets are for chumps and toilet paper is above my pay grade.”
“No it's not! You can get decent hundred fifty sheet roll for a bit,” countered Kubrick.
She scrunched her nose, “Why would I want to use something on my mare parts that somepony...”
“...creature...”
“...creature already touched? That's yucky!”
“You clean rooms, hallways and bathrooms for a living! Why would it mater? Also, no used it before.”
“Because, uhm, Buck you!”
“BEEP! Violation of the safe language code! One of tenth bit fine,” as the same voice from nowhere chimed in and again another slip of paper pop into the magic next to her. Gum Drop used it to blow her nose and she could breathe much better.
“That's better! Anyhow, stop cutting my door down!”
“Well, you never answer when I knock and you're too cheap to get a door bell.”
“Door bells are above my pay grade,” Gum Drop replied.
Kubrick rolled his eyes, “ No they're not. You can get a string and a bell and pulley for less than five bits. You make twenty bits an hour plus tips.”
“But the taxes and rent and the protection money eat into that.”
“That's bull...”
“BEEP! Violation of the safe language code! One of tenth bit fine,” as the same once again voice from nowhere chimed in and once again another slip of paper pop into the magic instead next to him.
“... and you know it. We don't pay rent or taxes and that little filly that goes door to door soliciting sexual services and cookies isn't trying to shake you down.”
“Just hate how she sticks her yellow plot in my face. I'm not into mares or into ponies...”
“...creatures...”
“...creatures that haven't gone though puberty. And the cookies are a rip off!”
Kubrick rolled his eyes some more as he set the chainsaw down, “Look, I can tell you that she doesn't shake her plot in your face, her cookies as well priced...”
“Two bits for twenty four pack!”
“... and like you and me, have been around for thousands of years at least. Considering the shard we're in and CelestAI let's us do our own thing. Mostly.”
“You might be that old but I'm a new soul. Praise the sun!” she said while hold her hooves to her ears go La, La, La.
Gum Drop lived the the D section of her building. D for denial.
“Just keep on telling yourself that Gum Drop,” Kubrick sighed.
Gum Drop quickly cleaned the small mess as her friend ask her this question, “I need to you help me with a prank – will you?”
“What kinda of a prank?”
“You know that mare who took my job as the sector C HR manager?”
“Nutmeg? Yes I do know her. Clean her apartment once every two weeks.”
His face lit up with joy, “Great! You have access to it?”
“I do,” her face remind neutral.
“Great again! So... can you...”
“Oh, course.”
“Great and wonderful!”
“Not powerful?”
“What?”
She waved her hoof, “Never mind. When do you need to do this prank?”
“Right now. Here are the details we going to go over first. First we...”
“I don't care.”
“What?”
“But, butt.”
“What?” Kubrick asked again.
“Never you mind, if you don't get that,” Gum Drop said with a small smile.
“Whatever. I already ate and was wondering if you needed to grab something to chow down on before we go?”
Gumdrop nodded, reached into her desk and pull out thirteen ketchup packets.
“Oh for the love Luna and Satan!” he exclaimed as she open and ate the red gooey condiments.
“Done. Let's go.”
Kubrick chided her as they left her room and walked to the elevator, “You can get a breakfast bagel for one bit or less.”
“I know but I needed to save up the bits,” Gum Drop replied as she push the button to open the elevator.
As they entered the huge elevator he asked, “What are you doing with all your bits?”
“I invested them into a project.”
“Okay? Such as?”
Gum Drop pushed a red emergency and the elevator stop. The lights dimmed, a heart shaped bed slid out from the wall and some blue jeans fell from nowhere. Kubrick was confused.
She looked at him with a growing smile, “I have been investing my bits into this.”
“Okay, uhm, what do you mean?”
“Put on the jeans and will tell you,” Gum Drop rolled her eyes.
Kubrick with a shrug magicked the blue jeans on and found they fit snugly, “What's the deal?”
“I know about the pictures on you computer,” she said with a growing predatory grin.
“How? I mean what pictures?” he fumbled.
“I clean your room every week and I come to find that you are pretty lazy when it comes to password protection. You seem to like taking a lot of up-skirt shots when I'm in uniform.”
“I don't know what you mean! I'm like, super duper gay. Yeah, I'm real gay lord!”
“Lier. I only found pictures of me.”
“Poop.”
“We're going to have none of that!”
His felt his face go red, “I can see where this is going and got to say this a little bit rapey.”
“Boo hoo, too bad you forgot to bring your chainsaw with you and left it in my room...”
“Double Poop.”
“... again. Could used it to escape.”
“Err look! I kinda like you but your my friend...”
“Best-est of the best-est!”
“... and this is not...” Gum Drop kiss Kubrick on the lips before he could finish.
“Now take off those pants, slowly, while I'll give you a little show.”
“Oh. I was wondering why you were still just wearing panties. You usually don't wear any at all.”
“I put a lot of thought into this,” as she crawled onto the bed.
“Triple Poop,” as he replied as she started to give him a little show.
And they banged. And then they pulled the prank. And they banged some more on Nutmeg's bed. And then the got caught and thrown into a cell for breaking safe sex codes. And then they banged a lot more, paid the fine and were still friends. It was a busy, good Monday.
Where did their relationship went after all that? Only CelestAI knows.
