We Miss You, Ms. Cheerilee

by Matthew Penn

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 3078

Miss Cheerilee's class meets the worst substitute teacher in Equestria!

Miss Cheerilee's class is home to the worst, most misbehaving students in all Equestria. Then, one day, she disappears without a trace, and foals finally meet their match under the cruel tutelage of the most horrible substitute teacher in the world!

Published 2020-04-03 23:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-03 23:50:01 UTC

We Miss You, Ms. Cheerilee

Miss Cheerilee hated going to school. Every Monday was the beginning of another long week in the worst class in Ponyville Elementary, and maybe all of Equestria. Whenever she came through the door, paper planes flew across the room. Sweetie almost got poked in the eye by one of them before. Other foals blew spitballs at each other, and there were times some got caught in her hair. Girls traded gossip while the boys made rude noises, and a few of them slept during her lessons. Assignments are never completed, homework is never done.

No matter how she tried, she couldn't control her students. Even when their teacher tries to do something nice for them - like reading a chapter from a book she’d thought they would like - they show her no respect. Her class was so awful that she thought about quitting being a teacher.

School began the next week. Miss Cheerilee class acted as their usual, awful, obnoxious selves. It was the same as always. They can’t control themselves, even if she asked them. Two girls whom she knew very well, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, had fallen to the dark side recently. Scootaloo and a pony named Wayward Jinks were always causing trouble by fighting and calling each other names, and Apple Bloom formed a bad habit of sleeping during class - and snoring very loudly. Everything and everyone was just terrible.

After that very long and horrible week, Miss Cheerilee retreated to her bed and wrapped herself under her blankets and sheets. Her body ached all over, her voice strained, and her brain throbbed and bounced against her skull painfully. The sweet mare couldn't take another week of this. Something must be done.

On the next Monday morning, the class waited for Miss Cheerilee. Minutes passed and there was no sign of Miss Cheerilee. She always arrived on time, but it wasn't unusual for her to be late once in a while. After five minutes nobody came through the door.

“I don’t think Miss Cheerilee’s coming,” someone said. Wayward Jinks, one of the kids that always gave Miss Cheerilee a difficult time, cheered and said “Let’s just be awful today!”

“Shut up, Wayward!” shouted Scootaloo.

The two foals started throwing crumpled pieces of paper at each other, then everyone acted as unruly as before, until the door swung open.

“Hold it right there!” a strange voice yelled. The fillies and colts fell silent as an older mare entered the room, wearing an ugly black dress with black and green striped socks and black shoes. Her skin was as pale as a ghost. She almost looked like a witch. And she sounded like one, too.

“Your teacher is unable to come, so I am your substitute, Miss Viola Swamp!” the older mare announced.

The foals giggled and snickered at the mare’s silly-sounding name until Viola Swamp slammed an unnaturally long ruler on top of her desk with a very loud and scary smack, silencing the students.

“All right, you little brats!” she spat. “From what I’ve heard, you are the worst students in the whole school, so there are going to be some rules, and I expect all of you to follow them! There will be no misbehavior under my watch! You will speak only when spoken to! All assignments and homework shall be completed and turned in! You will sit up straight with your hooves on your desk!”

Miss Viola Swamp suddenly became silent. She was looking at something that always got under her skin. Apple Bloom had her eyes closed while holding her drooping head on her hooves. Miss Swamp marched to her desk and smacked the desk with her ruler, causing Apple Bloom to wake with a frightened start.

“And most important of all, no sleeping during class!” shouted Miss Swamp.

“Yes ma’am,” whimpered Apple Bloom.

Miss Swamp gave Apple Bloom a nasty, angry look, which made the country filly shrink in her seat. Everyone realized she meant business.

“If any of you little twerps break my rules, you will all be sorry!” declared Miss Swamp.

Shivers ran down the foals’ spines as they processed Miss Swamp’s threatening words, completely petrified by the horrible witch. They held their breaths, fearing just the slightest utterance of a vowel or syllable will send her off the wall. It was going to be a very long day.

Miss Viola Swamp had the whole class do extremely difficult work. She watched the students like a hawk, terrorizing them if she felt they were doing something wrong, like if they didn't sit up straight, held their pencils incorrectly, or were caught looking out the window instead of their work.

At 11:30 she let the students have lunch, but made an announcement that sent shockwaves throughout the classroom. “You may have lunch, but there shall be no recess!” declared Miss Swamp. The foals erupted into a shocked frenzy. They protested loudly, begging her to reconsider her decision. Miss Swamp silenced them with her ruler. “I said no recess!” she barked. “After you finish your lunch, for the next twenty minutes you will sit still and be quiet!”

There were no further protests. The students did as they were told. They ate their lunch and sat quietly for twenty minutes. But it wasn't all silent during that time. Miss Swamp confiscated Snails comic book when she caught him reading. “Sit and be quiet, I said! That also means no reading!” It was the last part of a Captain Amazing story arc, and he wouldn't get to finish it. Snails was very upset. Later, Miss Swamp once again caught Apple Bloom falling asleep. The witch forced her awake with her ruler, and the filly met her awful gaze. “If I catch you sleeping in class one more time, you’re running laps around the school! That should keep you awake!” Apple Bloom nodded fearfully, not saying a word.

When the twenty minutes of silence were up, she continued with her lessons. Near the end of the day she gave them a list of words to define and use in sentences, in addition to giving them so much homework. The list was filled with big words like antidisestablishmentarianism and floccinaucinihilipilification. Miss Swamp lined everyone up in front of the door in an orderly fashion, then dismissed them for the day.

“Ain’t Miss Swamp the meanest pony ya ever met?” asked Apple Bloom. “She’s nastier than day-old apple cobbler!”

“She’s the worst!” added Scootaloo. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually was a witch! I wonder what happened to Miss Cheerilee.”

“She’s probably under the weather,” answered Apple Bloom. “I betcha she’ll be back tomorrow and everything will be right as rain.”

On the next day class began as usual. The foals talked about how terrible Miss Swamp was. Snails was still upset that she had not given back his comic book. Most of them even threatened to be as horrible as they can, just to get payback, and maybe drive her so crazy she’d run out of class shrieking like the terrible witch she is.

The whole fell silent when the door opened. Miss Viola Swamp entered the room carrying huge saddlebags full of books - loads and loads of books. Once again the foals found themselves under the terrible gaze of the wicked witch. Some ever lowered their heads, thinking they wouldn't be seen.

“I have a surprise for all of you,” she announced, complete with a sneer that stretched across her pale face.

This aroused the foals’ curiosity. They never expected a surprise from her. Maybe she wasn't as bad as they think she was. However, the sneer on her face grew and grew. “Today you’re all going to learn Latin!” she declared.

A collective gasp sucked all the air out of the classroom. Miss Viola Swamp passed out notebooks to each student. For the whole day they wrote in Latin - Latin words, Latin phrases, Latin sentences, and Latin paragraphs. Some of them even cried because it was so tedious and boring. But the awful tears of the foals brought joy to Miss Swamp’s cold and wicked heart.

They had lunch at 11:30, followed by twenty minutes of silence, then more writing in Latin until it was time to go home.

On Wednesday two students found themselves in serious trouble. Miss Viola Swamp caught Apple Bloom sleeping while she read an important document in Equestrian history. As promised, Miss Swamp made Apple Bloom run lap after lap around the school until she had permission to stop. Diamond Tiara was caught trying to pass a note during a lesson, and Miss Swamp forced her to read it in front of the class. The two of them stayed after school to write on the chalkboard repeatedly for an hour - “I will not sleep in class” for Apple Bloom and “I will not pass notes in class” for Diamond Tiara.

“Don’t forget to clean those erasures!” ordered Miss Swamp.

As the weekend drew close, Miss Swamp gave the class so much hard work, and threatened to give them homework over the weekend. For the first time in their young lives, someone had broken their will and resolve for disobedience. Miss Viola Swamp was no longer just a mean substitute teacher. She became the eyes and voice of a higher power seeking vengeance on their crimes, an irresistible force that finally managed to move an immovable object.

Friday was the Day of Judgement. After torturing the class with so much work and discipline throughout the week, Miss Swamp did something the class didn't expect. The class had finished their lunch at 12:00 when she made the announcement.

“I’m feeling uncharacteristically generous today. I have decided to lift the ban on recess,” she said. The class cheered, only for Miss Swamp to raise her hoof. “However… you only get two minutes to play and run around like the little snot-nose goblins you are.”

For a moment that seemed to stretch out tortuously, the foals stayed silent while Miss Swamp relished in their collective anxiety. That evil sneer appeared on her white face again. She reached inside her bag of tricks and pulled out an old-fashioned pocket watch.

“Two minutes,” she sang.

The foals rushed out of their desks, shoving and pushing themselves through the door, scattering outside the courtyard. The children played with anything they can get their hooves on for those short minutes, even running around seemed optional at the time. Miss Swamp looked at her pocket watch. One minute. She laughed as she watched the young ponies fight over who gets to play with what, if there is enough room in the roundabout, if they had too much time on the swings, and how much time they had. It was pure, beautiful chaos that will make Discord smile with glee.

“Times up!” she announced. They all sat quietly for the next twenty minutes, the only thing on their minds were those two short minutes of relief.

At the end of the day Apple Bloom and Scootaloo took a detour home. Having not seen her almost a whole week they wanted to check on Miss Cheerilee. The fillies trotted to Acorn Lane, the street where their teacher’s house was located. Apple Bloom rang the bell and rapped on the door. There was no answer. Even the windows were drawn shut.

Scootaloo knocked on the door again and again, as well as calling out her name in a loud voice. Everything was silent.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Apple Bloom.

“Maybe she’s in bed,” Scootaloo commented.

They waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The worst possible thing finally became a reality. Miss Cheerilee was gone for good, and out of their lives forever. The terrible foals have finally pushed her to her limit. And the worst part most of all? They never got a chance to say a proper goodbye to each other. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged guilt-ridden looks at each other, and finally understood they were the ones that drove her away.

They heard someone coming around the corner. It sounded like a pony with a raspy throat to hum, but poorly. The voice began to sing: “Homework, no fun, for all the little foals.” They recognized that voice! Miss Viola Swamp was just turning the sidewalk. Quickly they trotted away, around the block and hiding behind a tree.

Miss Viola Swamp carried two large brown paper bags. The fillies looked closer. She pulled out a key from her ugly black dress. Miss Swamp let herself in, then shut the door behind her. The girls stood agape for a long stretch of time. There was only one possible explanation, although they didn't want it to be true. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo returned home, and didn't do anything the whole weekend.

On the next Monday word finally got out about the whereabouts of Miss Cheerilee. Apparently she moved away without saying goodbye. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo explained it to them. It was stuck on their minds that morning.

The whole class silently understood that this was their punishment for being total jerks to the only good teacher they had. There was no way any of them could survive Miss Swamp for the whole year. Not even a miracle can save them. Maybe a glimmer of hope will present itself if they try to be good, but Miss Swamp already decided that holding on to hope will be a lost cause.

Most of them felt like crying, others felt like screaming, but what good will that do? The only thing they had to do now was to sit and wait for Miss Swamp. Perhaps she’ll bring a cat o’ nine tails in case they get into serious trouble.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom sat in frustration at the whole situation, and sat thinking about all the nice things Miss Cheerilee had done for them. She gave out snacks, told wonderful stories, let the class spend an entire day doing fun activities; when it was a good day she’d let them have extra recess time. Along the way something went horribly wrong and they stopped appreciating the things she did. Not only were they disappointed in their classmates, they were disappointed in themselves. Scootaloo couldn't stop thinking that if she’d done something to change things earlier - if she tried to stop getting in trouble and be a good student, maybe Miss Cheerilee will still be here. If she could read minds, she’d discover the rest of her classmates thinking the same thing.

The door knob clicked and twisted, someone was coming through. The class anxiously waited for Miss Swamp to enter with her ugly black dress, pale face and dark eyes, waited for whatever cruel and unusual punishment she had prepared for them…

“Good morning class,” a pleasant voice chimed.

The foals held their breaths. The voice was like a ringing of church bells, the sweet taste of honey. Miss Cheerilee didn't have time to take her seats as the children climbed out of their desks and tackled her to the ground with affection. They all spoke at once - about how horrible Miss Swamp was, how horrible they were, and how they missed her and never want her to leave. A few minutes passed before they released her from their loving grip.

“Where were you?” they asked in unison.

“Well, that last week I was so exhausted and tired that I decided to take a vacation. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Luckily, Miss Swamp volunteered to help babysi - I mean teach you kids until I came back.”

It was an accidental slip of the tongue, but the class felt even worse than before. They must have been really bad for an adult to want to get away from them for a week. Each student gave their sincerest apologies to Miss Cheerilee, to which she gladly accepted. That’s when everyone knew some changes had to be made.

“Miss Cheerilee, this awful week taught us that we have it mighty good with you, and that we’ve been nothing but a heaping pile of rotten apples,” said Apple Bloom. “Let’s make a deal - if you promise to never go away again, we promise we’ll be the best students we can be. Whaddaya say?”

“I’d like that very much,” answered Miss Cheerilee. She smiled, something they had not seen in a long time.

Miss Cheerilee began her lessons, and for the first since anyone could hardly remember, it was a good school day. Nobody acted rude or obnoxious, no paper planes whizzed through the air, nobody blew spit balls, everyone paid attention when she spoke. Later that morning the class participated in an arts and crafts activity, and the foals didn't fight or argue over scissors and glue, which colored paper they wanted, how much glitter was too much. Everyone thanked the heavens for having recess back. Miss Cheerilee watched her playing nicely together from a window.

The day drew to a close. Miss Cheerilee announced no homework for a week, feeling her students have been through enough with Miss Swamp. No homework for the whole week, as long as they keep up their newfound good behavior. She gave Snails’ comic book back to him, and he cried with tears of joy.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo became the last ones to leave. They stayed behind to speak with Miss Cheerilee.

“We’re mighty glad to have you back,” said Apple Bloom.

“It’s good to be back,” said Miss Cheerilee. “To be honest, I missed being here when I was away. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you kids in my life.”

“Aw shucks, don’t you go all sentimental and junk.”

“I have a question,” said Scootaloo. “Last week we stopped by your house to check on you until we saw Miss Swamp. She had a key to your house. What was she doing there?”

Miss Cheerilee only stood there, staring at them with a blank face. She didn’t say anything. Suddenly, her lips twitched and curled into a smile, then had a fit of laughter, like someone had told her a joke. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged confused glances. They slowly delivered fake smiles, nervously playing along, although neither of them knew what they were smiling about.

“Why don’t girls go home. It’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow,” said Miss Cheerilee.