Scootanugs: Legend of the Dino Nuggies
Scootaloo's stomach grumbled as she opened the fridge. There was no more pizza, no more pasta, not even anymore of mom's spaghetti! Worst of all, there were no more dino nuggies!
Scootaloo stepped away from the refrigerator, thinking back to the happier days when there were still dinosaur nuggets she could eat.
Then, an idea entered her mind; a brilliant, absolutely wonderful, fantastic idea that absolutely would not fail, regardless of whether or not she was the OOC main character of a sub-par horseword thing!
"That's it! I'll go hunt down some dinos myself!" she slammed the refrigerator door shut so hard that it was torn clean off its hinges and was sent flying through the kitchen and smashed the microwave.
Unfortunately, there was still a problem. A disastrous, horrible, absolutely not good problem: what the heck was she even supposed to hunt dinosaurs with? Normally, she'd go to Rainbow Dash for help, or read another edition of Daring Do, but neither of them probably ever had to hunt down a big ol' roar lizard!
She thought, and thought, and thonked and thonked and t h o n k e d. After she pulled her head back out of the subspace, she noticed her Minecraft (Minceraft?) bow hanging on the wall. Her eyes lit up like the headlamps that they were. A bow and arrow would be the perfect weapon of choice against a dinosaur! After all, with something that big, the dinosaur farmers that farmed the dinos to make dino nuggies had to use something from a distance, right?
Using her wings to give herself a little boost, Scoots jumped up, snatching the toy off the wall. She'd probably need more than just one arrow, too, but the bow only came with one, soooooo...
Scootaloo spun back to the kitchen. Would a knife work? No, the ones she had would be too heavy. Maybe a fork? Her eyes drifted to the breadbasket. And the baguette.
"Aha!" the filly exclaimed, dragging the longest of the breadbasket from its throne of rolls. "I'll carve this into some arrows!"
And so she did. By taking bites out of it.
Scootaloo crept through the underbrush of the Everfree forest, keeping her eyes peeled for anything even vaguely dinosaur-like. Though, so far, her only catches had been leaves and weirdly-shaped rocks, unfortunately. However, just when she was on the verge of giving up, she spotted something-- a really big, giant lizard-looking something. Her mouth salivated as the thought of dino nuggies danced across her imagination. With utmost stealth, the filly began to draw back her bow.
"Oh, hey Scoots. What're you doing in the Everfreeeeeeee!" Spike shrieked as Scootaloo burst from the bush, battering Spike with everything she had. Poor Spike, he never stood a chance against the filly's harmless arrows.
Whistling, Scootaloo pretended not to see the crater she'd created by the time she was done with Spike. Dragons and dinosaurs just looked too similar, that's all! Twilight would understand.
"Urk... tell..." Spike groaned at the center of the crater. "Tell Rarity... that I love her..."
Scootaloo whistled faster and scooted away. Nopony needed to know about this.
"Dinosaurs! Diiiinnooosaaaauuuurrrrrs!" Scootaloo shouted, still wandering the depths of the Everfree. Somewhere along the line, she started wondering why Spike was in the forest, anyway. But that didn't matter, because he was a dragon, not a dinosaur!
"Come out, come out, wherever you are! I want to make nuggets out of yoooouuuuuuu!"
Obviously, nothing responded, because even if there were dinosaurs, they'd one, have no idea what she was saying, and two, if they did, they probably didn't want to be turned into nuggets.
...
...
Golly geez, that's a lotta italics I used up there!
Ahem.
"DIIIINOSAAAAAUUUUURSSSSS!" Scootaloo shrieked at the top of her lungs, scaring away a tree's worth of birds. The ground beneath her began to rumble, as if she'd just awoken some kind of ancient being of the lovecraftian type.
...Of which, was actually quite close of an approximation to what really emerged: One lone cucco. Yes, the ones from Legend of Zelda. No, you have no say in this decision.
"Hey, you're not a dinosaur!" Scootaloo pouted, walking closer to the cucco. "Though, I guess you could be a good pet..." she fluttered her wings, watching the cucco do the same. "Heh, you're the same, too?"
The cucco clucked, blinking at the filly.
Scootaloo picked up the cucco, placing it on her back. "How 'bout you join me? We can be dino hunters together!"
The cucco clucked. Menacingly.
"DIIIINOOOOSAAAAAAUUUUURS!" Scootaloo screeched, tumbling out of a tree into Fluttershy's backyard. "Heya, Fluttershy! Have you seen any dinosaurs around here?"
Fluttershy didn't take her eyes off the tank full of goldfish in front of her. "Oh, um... no, not really. I think you might want to ask Twilight about that."
"Okay!"
"TWIIII-LIIIIGHT!" Scootaloo slammed the door open, startling Twilight from her reading-induced waking coma. "Twilight! Have you seen any dinosaurs around lately? I really want some more dino nuggies!"
The cucco on her head clucked in agreement.
"Dino... nuggies?" Twilight emerged from her book pile, brushing a few tomes on the ancient art of tomato-based masking tape off her back. She gazed out the window at the currently-flaming Everfree Forest and facehoofed. "Alright, Scootaloo, what did you and your friends do this time?"
Scootaloo shrugged. "We didn't start the fire! It was always burning! And besides, this time around, it was only me and my new pet chicken."
The cucco ignored the fact that it was just called a chicken.
Twilight blinked, shifting her deadpan glare between Scootaloo and the rapidly-burning forest. She lit her horn and vanished, returning moments later completely soaked in water. A massive plume of steam slowly drifted from the now-doused Everfree.
"So anyway," Scootaloo fidgeted, idly kicking at the floor. "Did you see any dinosaurs while you were busy?"
"No, Scootaloo. Dinosaurs have been extinct for ages."
"Wait, what?! B-but... how do they make dinosaur nuggets, then?"
Twilight raised a brow, lighting her horn again. A bag of frozen dino nuggets teleported in front of Scootaloo.
"Dino... chicken nuggets?! You mean I was looking for the wrong animal all this time?!" Scootaloo, slowly turned her eyes to the cucco sitting on her head. The cucco didn't like where the situation seemed to be going.
"Nah, I'm not gonna eat you," Scootaloo laughed. "I only eat the bad chickens that are a menace to society! C'mon, let's go heat up some dino nuggies!"
Cluckzilla roared, tearing down another skyscraper with a flick of its wing. Several pegasi hovered before its eyes in their futile endeavor to distract the beast. The chicken bent down, the air currents caused by its movements whipping the pegasi out of the way as it pecked at the ground, destroying all kinds of roads and infrastructure to get at a single cob of corn somepony left out.
"TO THE LEFT! WATCH OUT, INCOMING!" a voice yelled from far above. Cluckzilla paused, turning its head back up just in time to receive a magic blast to the face that would've made even Tirek envious.
Screeching in its downfall, Cluckzilla promptly fell to the ground, motionless. All was silent as ponies from all aroun emerged from their hiding places, peering at the fallen beast.
"Alright boys, let's reel 'er in, chop chop!" a pony in a hardhat stepped in front of Cluckzilla's beak, watching a small army's worth of pegasi begin to lift the giant chicken off the ground. "This beaut here should will make for plenty of dinosaur nuggets!"
Author's Note
*insert more cringe here*
1 like = 1 F for Spike. Or a dino nuggie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
