Silence worth a thousand words

11:30 AM Yesterday

Thankfully lectures took place early in the morning, leaving most of the day, usually from noon to till the end of the day to work on assignments, projects, and get some much-needed rest, and or studying if you’re into that kind of a thing. Vinyl and Octavia would spend a good portion of that time in the dining hall, where after eating, the two would catch up before having to worry about educational obligations. This time, however, Vinyl kinda wished herself back in that boring lecture, if anything...

“I simply cannot believe you were late again, even after Ms. Harshwhinny strictly warned you of the consequences. Without a doubt the most irresponsible thing you could do. Did we not go over your unique habit to stay up all odd hours of the night some time ago? Did we not practice on how to curb them, even if you desperately needed to complete something?”

At the side of the dining hall, the sun shone on the duo locked in an interesting conversation, one-sided of course. This went on and on for quite some time believe it or not. Everypony could see, everypony knew exactly what was going on and took precautions and their lunch to other areas to avoid it at all cost. One of Octavia’s motherly disappointment speeches directed at none other than Vinyl, who could only look away with shame and twitch in embarrassment as students stole glances their way. Compared to most other students who gained her motherly attention, Vinyl held the school record for the most disappointment speeches, and even after so many of them, she still felt a large chunk of guilt when faced with her friend’s words. But even when it seemed Octavia’s speech would never end, she still found a way to earn that metaphorical best mom mug.

“Sometimes I wonder if you actually want to be here Vinyl.” The blue-haired mare looked to her idol with sorrow in her eyes, obviously sorry for her actions to which, Octavia sighed. “But then you always shoot me that look, then I realize you wouldn’t be here in the first place if you weren’t passionate about this. Tell me, what reason have you this time?”

Vinyl quickly perked up, tapping her ever-present headphones and mimicking the motion of receiving the praise of millions of fans.

“Ah yes, your first album, I simply forgot that was on your mind, I think I understand your plight now. I do admire your passion I must say, however, that doesn’t excuse your lack of foresight on the matter. Oh my, perhaps I should have helped you form a schedule in order to better use your time. There’s no doubt in my mind it’s my fault for not offering my assistance earlier.”

Vinyl raised an eyebrow to those words but was not surprised in the least. Octavia always had a habit of throwing the blame on her part to steal the guilt from whomever she was scolding. Whether that was to give them a bit more confidence in the face of their guilt or strip them of that guilt entirely was unknown. Vinyl knew she messed up though, no doubt about it. Not only was she guilty of using the time she should have been asleep for work on personal goals, but...there was also that quite uncouth issue she tried to rub out this morning. Course she couldn’t tell anyone that. Vinyl quickly rushed to the friend’s side, flashing a reassuring smile and shaking her head.

“No no, don’t try to take the blame on yourself dear, I’m the one who started trying to help you prepare yourself in the first place. It most certainly was my lack of foresight to ask you what problems may plague you that caused this. I simply cannot forgive myself for that. Please, is there anyway I can make it up to you?”

Vinyl’s mind immediately whipped up images of the two in bed, or perhaps, the shower, nude, embracing each other’s form. Vinyl’s blush was quick, but a mental slap to her psyche was quicker. What was she thinking, she couldn’t ask that, never, not in this reality, not in the next, it’d be suicide. The best she could expect was a thorough slap to the face for asking a lady of her standards such a thing, or worse, to have her simply get up and walk away. Pure disappointment would do more than any level of pain. She shook the urges away, much as she wanted them to come true, and instead directed Octavia’s attention to her headphones with a point.

“You want me to do the work for you while you work on the album?”

Vinyl quickly disagreed with a shake of her head. As good as that sounded, what kind of friend would she be if she forced her best friend to do all her work for her, especially when she herself didn’t even wanna do it? Instead, her finger then pointed to Octavia and back to her headphones.

“Oh I see, you want me to help you with your music, don’t you? My my, this is certainly a surprise considering your style of music is usually without classical additions. Trying to do something different I presume?”

Vinyl excitedly nodded, mimicking the motion of Octavia’s stellar cello playing. Funny enough, that was the plan from the start. Sure, she could have asked any classical instrument player in the school but to Vinyl, no one was quite as talented as Octavia and her cello. That and Vinyl was terribly shy about the matter considering most of the students here were hardcore fans of widely different genres. Her dubs and wubs were mostly unexplored territory and only a select few in the school, let alone a few regions in the whole land of Equestria, knew her name by heart.

Thankfully, Octavia was one of the few, and the warm smile she threw back warmed Vinyl’s heart to the point of melting. “Very well, I shall aid you in your musical endeavor but you have to promise me to at least get halfway through that stack before we begin, deal?” Vinyl tried her best to stifle an eye roll but still found herself still letting out a silent sigh. “Ah ah ah, none of that laziness dear, you certainly need the grade so I expect your best. That aside, did you by chance hear the rumor spreading around? Apparently that innocent Cozy Glow had cheated on her entry performance by hiring quite the talented crew of performers including a unicorn who knew how to use a disguising spell.” Vinyl scoffed at that. Rumors around here were almost always basically the truth sprinkled with a little exaggeration. “I mean really, how desperate must she have been to use such trickery, does she not understand the importance of actual skill?”

Vinyl tuned out. Not to say she wasn’t listening, no no, it was the exact opposite when it came to Octavia. She always prided herself on the ability to listen to every detail that left someone’s mouth, despite her eagerness to drown out the world around her but with Octavia, this was truly the only time out of her day that her headphones would even leave her ears. Her voice was simply divine to listen to, her pronunciation, her accent, especially her accent, it was like sweet sweet caramel to Vinyl’s ears to which nothing could compare, not even her own beats. Her emotions fluttered, her eyes were locked firmly onto Octavia’s own as she continues her rant on Cozy’s trickery. Vinyl couldn’t ask for more, much to her surprise when that familiar feeling of need returned to her. She nearly killed herself in an attempt to hold composure but there was no hiding the evidence. She was wet with want. Yep, no doubt about that.

“I am sorely disappointed in that treacherous young pony for doing something so uncouth. If only I could get my hands on her, I’d give her quite the stern talking too. What about you?”

Vinyl became lost in thought of getting a “stern” talking to, treated like a dirty dog begging for Octavia to give her what she--Vinyl immediately shook the thought from her head. She had to keep it together, even if her body wanted nothing more than throw Octavia onto a soft mattress and embrace her. With little time to respond to the question, she mimicked physically kicking the little twerp out on her butt.

“There are other solutions than violence Vinyl dear, even if the little cheater deserves it for making a mockery of our craft. Oh dear, look at me getting all worked up over something that might not even be true.”

Vinyl waved Octavia’s fear away with a hand and shrugged. Octavia, Immature? Not in a million years.

“You’re right, it probably shouldn’t matter. Besides, I shouldn’t let my spirit waver since tonight is the night of my performance.”

Vinyl smacked her forehead in disappointment as the memory returned to her mind. Amidst classes, her music, and her obviously conflicting emotions, how could she possibly forget Octavia’s Friday night performance, just goes to show how much a forgetful pony Vinyl really was sometimes. Octavia had been working her flank off in preparation for that event and Vinyl knew that, or at least should have remembered that. Good thing Octavia accidentally reminded her or she would have killed herself for missing it, now she could play it off without error.

Vinyl gave her friend an excited smile, slightly jumping in her seat with anticipation. “I’m glad the Headmare allowed me the opportunity to showcase my latest progress, although since I’ve chosen to use a piano instead of my cello, I’ve enlisted one of my fellow students, an expert pianist, to aid me in remembering all the keys. Speaking of the performance, here.” As Octavia dug into her handbag and presented Vinyl a small slip of paper, her eyes widened as she realized what it was. “It’s a voucher. I’ve specifically reserved a front row seat for you in the auditorium. In the meantime, we should probably invest in something to eat before we have to go. Hungry?” Vinyl’s stomach immediately growled in response to that. “I’ll take that as a yes. Our usual then?”

Vinyl eagerly nodded, Octavia nodding back and making her way toward one of the few different types of restaurants. Vinyl was smiling like a giddy child at this moment. Her eyes repeatedly studying the voucher in it’s entirety before shifting back to her name, Vinyl Scratch. She was happy. However, that eagerness instantly faded when a message came through on Octavia’s phone, lighting up her screen. Vinyl was at a loss herself on why she suddenly became so curious, but her body went on autopilot to grab the phone Octavia so carelessly left upon the table. Who is this expert Piano player, what was their game, were they trying to get with Octavia? Questions that proved Vinyl had devolved from her happy attitude to sudden jealousy, that of which she knew but ignored. With determination, she sifted through the messages, finally stopping on one received just now. Her eyes narrowed at all too familiar name on the other end of the text, and so she decided to read the entire conversation in full.

“Good morning to you Ms. Key Note.”

“Octavia? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so early in the morning.”

“Apologies, I simply could not relax without triple-checking my schedule for the day. Are we still scheduled to practice at noon?”

“Oh absolutely, it would be an honor to help the greatest cellist in the school.”

“And it would be an equal honor to learn from the most talented pianist in the school.”

“Oh, you’re just saying that, I’m sure there are plenty ponies better than me.”

“Compared to most others, your pieces are quite unlike anything my ears have ever heard, I mean that. By the way, Is Vinyl awake yet?”

“Luckily, I just checked. Unluckily, door’s locked which means she’s sleeping like a rock.”

“How unfortunate, I suppose I’ll have to call her until she picks up like usual. I can’t quite put my finger on it but something seems quite amiss with her lately.”

“Even more than usual?”

“While she is most certainly a night owl, lately she’s been even more oddly exhausted. Not just that, but after classes on Tuesday, I wanted to ask her to give me some company that evening and I caught her behind the gym hanging out with those smokers, something she expressed in silent detail she hated being around. And then at noon yesterday, when I asked her to once again accompany me as per the usual, she was almost eager to turn me down and run off. I would have understood if I believed it be genuine, however, I’ve known her since she was little and this is completely unlike her. It’s like she’s trying to avoid me.”

Vinyl paused, her eyes studied the words repeatedly then glanced back to Octavia who was patiently waiting in line to order their food. Thankfully if Octavia did notice her, she’d most likely think Vinyl was on her own phone. However, the look on Vinyl’s face was unmistakably distressed. Dammit, to think she’d been so subconsciously obvious about it. She should stop reading, she should just put the stupid phone down and let Octavia know she was ok, somehow. And yet...

“Are you sure you’re not reading too much into this? I mean it’s Vinyl we’re talking about, #party animal, #DJ-PON3.”

“You might be correct, she apparently has been working on something pretty important for her personal career lately. Perhaps that’s all it is.”

“Don’t be such a worrywart Octavia. Nine times out of ten, she’s just going through one of those very rare episodes where she just wants to sleep more than usual. It’s college after all, we all do it sometimes.”

“You’re probably right. Still, I can’t shake the feeling. If you witness anything, please don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“No problem, we gotta have each other’s backs right? See ya in class.”

Finally, the message that was sent nearly moments before. Did Key Note get some dirt on her somehow? Against her better judgment, she checked it.

“Hey, sorry about not telling you in class but I didn’t think it a good idea to drop this bomb on you at the time. So me and the girls left this morning with Vinyl still dead asleep in her room. Like 20 minutes later, I realized I forgot something and rushed back really quick to grab it. When I came in, I assumed Vinyl was still asleep in her room despite your usual plan so I grabbed my paper and planned to force her out of bed. The door was unlocked and cracked despite the usual, so I peeked in and...wow...wow....just wooooowy, I didn’t expect anything I saw there. Vinyl was butt naked on the bed, doing the deed to herself. Yea, I know everypony needs a little release every now and then but the curious thing was she was looking at a picture of you on her phone. I’m starting to think the reason she’s been avoiding you is--”

Vinyl went into rampage mode, quick as the wind in deleting the message. As she heard the sounds of Octavia’s heels clacking against the floor, Vinyl quickly clicked the phone off and placed it back in its original position. “Are you ok Vinyl, your face is terribly red?”

Vinyl silently laughed before waving her concern away.

“Ok then...well, our usual just as requested.” Any other time, Vinyl’s mouth would have drooled in response to the usual salad mixed with 3 different kinds of minced berries and topped with a sauce that tasted oddly of chocolate but was somehow healthier, but not now, not after reading all that. Vinyl simply gave a gleeful, yet fake, smile back to Octavia and began to dig in with a fork. It was only a minute before she wasn’t even trying anymore, poking at it with a sullen look on her face. Octavia seemed to have her attention on her phone, probably hoping she’d receive that message Vinyl so desperately deleted. “Curious, most curious...” she whispered. “I was sure she’d text me by now. Hmm, maybe I’d be better off asking her once we meet up for our practice session.”

Vinyl’s eyes closed in defeat. Dammit, even if she deleted the message, she didn’t count for word of mouth in the moment. What could she do? How could she keep Key Note’s mouth shut about any of this?

“Vinyl?” Her trance was broken as Octavia’s sweet melodious voice chimed in. “Are you alright, you’ve barely touched your food?”

Her eyes widened, her hands became clammy, Vinyl was indeed panicking. As cool as she kept it on a stage or in a club, in front of a friend she’s know since childhood, she’s panicking like a shy hormonal middle schooler, and that got the better of her. With no time for Octavia to react, Vinyl grabbed her stuff, tapped her headphones to blast music into her ears and ran off in a fit. Stunned would not be a word to describe Octavia’s expression at that moment.

Vinyl sprinted, sprinted until she was clear, clear out of sight of Octavia and the dining hall and anyone else who might wonder what’s wrong with her. Stupid, how stupid was she, what kind of stupid person just runs off like that? Where could she even go to clear her head after that kind of thing? Certainly not her room since Key Note can’t keep a secret to save her life. Vinyl instead opted for a hill with a few trees overlooking the left side of the campus, even if everyone could see her electric blue hair from a mile away.

As she sat down on the soft grass, her eyes studied the clouds above her, trying to come up with a solution if any. She could make them postpone their practice session, tell one or both that the other rescheduled due to complications. But then they’d meet up or text without Vinyl’s knowledge and most certainly figure it out almost immediately. Maybe she could fake being a little sick so Octavia would have to take care of her until the performance. But even then...Dear Celestia, nothing works. At the end of the day, Vinyl is still in love with Octavia, Her entrance is still dripping want through her lower wear, and Key Note will somehow, someway, voice Vinyl’s mistake of ignorance and Octavia will know all she needs to know.

She could take care of one of those problems, maybe scoot up to the trees and take care of herself before anyone noticed. No, there’s plenty of apartment buildings across the way and they’d, without a doubt, see her. Key Note’s also probably informed her other roommates by now so no way she’s gonna sneak into back into her room. Geez, horny, confused, and stressed, what more could a girl ask for.

Vinyl let a defeated sigh before flopping onto her back, her school bag going with her and coincidentally throwing a few school tools as well as the voucher out. Vinyl huffed as she returned the things to her bag only to freeze when her eyes landed on the voucher. A blue glow covered the paper as it levitated into her hand and she once again studied it.

But maybe...just maybe...what if it wasn’t such a bad thing to have her know.

I mean Octavia is her best friend and the two got along so well before any of these feelings came into the picture, besides it was just a crush and crushes don’t ruin friendships. Even if Octavia knew, they’d probably still be just as tight as they were before...Celestia, that’s stupid. There’s no way Octavia would ever see her the same way after that because this is more than a simple, “I kinda like you.” This was full-on, “I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, talk with you about your day, and/or have sensual, passionate, and emotional sex on a regular basis.” Vinyl knew that and like hell, she just wanted to accept it and move with her life.

Her head began to ache with stress on the matter, so much so that she instinctively removed a bottle of anxiety pills from her bag. Even though she was diagnosed in highschool by a certified doctor who felt it crucial she take them to curve her emotions, she felt that caused more anxiety as an option on the table. Especially with being a DJ, going to all these different places and having to deal with all types of characters from young and inexperienced in the dancing scene to drunk and highly overconfident in themselves, Vinyl learned not to depend on the pills for assistance. She needed to be brave, she needed to just come out to Octavia and tell her the truth. Screw the pills, she could just beat Key Note to the punch. Even if she died of embarrassment, it couldn’t hurt for Octavia to know the truth. If she turned Vinyl down, so be it. They’d still be friends, of course, and things would definitely be awkward, sure, but if there’s one thing Twilight and her friends taught everyone, it’s that everyone needs to be understanding. Octavia was certainly a shining example of that. Vinyl felt a hint of bravery, standing up, placing the voucher back in her bag and her bag back on her person, and turning back towards the dining hall. She took a deep breath and began to step down the hill.

Suffice it to say she didn’t get very far. Suffice it to say that for the first time since being diagnosed...she took the pills.