Expelled

by the dobermans

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Young Six, Horror, Cozy Glow, Death
Length: 4948

The Young Six decide to help Cozy Glow save face after her imprisonment in stone.

Having learned much in the ways of friendship, the Young Six begin to feel sorry for Cozy Glow. After seeking the Tree of Harmony's advice, they come up with the perfect plan to save their former classmate from ridicule.

Entry for the Barcast's Halloween in April Horror Contest.

Check here for a brief review by the one and only Present Perfect.

Published 2020-04-05 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-05 15:00:02 UTC

Prophylaxis

Time was winding down to a halt at the Monday morning study hall of the School of Friendship, each second expanding into its own mind-numbing eternity. The sunshine teased the students trapped inside, illuminating tables full of hoof-worn books instead of open fields and cool forest paths. A group essay had been announced, due for Advanced Friendship Theory at the end of the week.

Sandbar sighed. The History of Pony Intercultural Relationships with Other Creatures textbook laid out before him might as well have been written in Old Ponish. Ocellus and Silverstream sat behind Yona tying new braids in her hair, waiting for him to summarize the main idea of the fourth paragraph of chapter three. He hadn’t gotten past the first sentence.

“Sorry. Does any creature known what ‘prophylaxis’ means?” he asked.

Gallus threw another wad of notepaper at Smolder, who incinerated it in mid-flight like she had the rest of his missiles. “I don’t know,” he grumbled. “Boredom? What’s the deal with this book? Why are we even here?”

“Because it’s on the syllabus,” said Ocellus. She leaned around Yona’s broad back. “It’s supposed to help us build empathy by understanding the pony perspective. That’s what the text notes said.”

Gallus pulled a pawful of paper strips out of the rings of his binder and began crumpling them for another volley. “The ‘text notes’, huh? We saved Equestria. Again. Isn’t that an automatic diploma?”

Ocellus shook her head and resumed braiding.

“This is going to sound weird,” said Silverstream, “but, I kind of wish Cozy Glow were here.”

“Cozy Glow? Remember that time she tried to destroy Equestria, and that other time she blew up Canterlot?” Gallus chuckled. “Yeah, she was a real blast.”

“No … I mean … before she turned into a supervillain. She was really good at pony history, remember? And crossword puzzles.”

Ocellus peeped from behind Yona’s shaggy head. “And she made really nice friendship bracelets. Even if she only did it to get on your good side.”

“Did anyone else feel … I don’t know … bad about what happened to her?” Silverstream asked. Her paws sank to her lap.

Smolder blew the pile of ash she’d created from all of Gallus’s notepaper toward a nearby trashcan. “I guess,” she said. “Maybe we could have—”

“Tried to be her friend?” Sandbar finished.

Ocellus clambered off of the pillow she’d been using to reach Yona’s braids. Gallus saw her coming and scooted to the side to give her room nearer the center of their circle. “We took a field trip to Canterlot last week in Professor Pinkie Pie’s class,” she recalled. “On the way back, she led us on the path through the Royal Gardens. That’s where they’re keeping Cozy’s statue now.”

“For real?” asked Sandbar. He closed his textbook and moved closer to listen.

“That’s right,” Ocellus continued. “They’ve got a little sign at the bottom, telling all about how the greatest villains in history were defeated when the good creatures of Equestria came together as one. It even mentions us. On the way back to the train, Professor Pinkie said, ‘Let that be a lesson to you: never pick a fight with a cupcake.’”

They all laughed, except Ocellus. “The class thought it was funny too, but after seeing her up there, how terrified she was of what was happening to her, I couldn’t.”

Silverstream’s beak drooped. “She was a cub, like us.”

Ocellus nodded, closing her eyes. “She’s going to be there forever.”

The words hung in the air.

“I feel like it’s kind of our fault,” she continued, “and we should do something about it. That could have been any one of us, if things had gone just a little differently.”

“But what can we do?” Gallus asked. “Start a petition to Princess Twilight to set her free?”

“Maybe, but I don’t think she would. I’m not even sure she could. It was Celestia, Luna and Discord who cast the spell, and I don’t know about you, but after that I’m too scared to ask them anything!”

“I think I saw Luna smiling after they were ... changed,” said Sandbar. He hugged himself and shivered.

Gallus took wing to get a view of the whole group. “Well if Twilight can’t help us, and we can’t go to the other princesses, what do we do?”

“What about Tree of Harmony?” Yona suggested. She stood up, smiling at her freshly woven tresses. “She help Yona and friends overcome fears and weaknesses.”

“Yeah, by scaring our rumps off,” Gallus snorted.

Smolder joined him in the air. “Hey, it worked, and the way I see it, she still owes us one for putting her back together. What’s the harm in asking?”

They all turned to Gallus. He hovered awhile, rubbing his chin, before replying. “I guess I’m in if you are. Come on, let’s get this over with before Intro to Almsgiving starts. We can use the old library tunnel.” He flew to the door, slowly enough for the others to keep up.

When they got to the library, they waited until the aisle that concealed the tunnel entrance was empty before lifting its golden grate. One by one they wriggled down the shaft. At the bottom, they stood huddled in the spotlight of the library’s lamps that shone through the cutout in the ceiling. The floor and walls around them were still marked with soot from the blast caused by the release of Equestria’s magic during their first battle with Cozy Glow. Smolder stooped to pick up a stray rag, a scarf that one of the students deceived by Cozy’s trickery had dropped in their flight on the night of the confrontation. She wrapped it around her paw and blew a brief lick of flame to light it.

Gallus cringed and backed away from the heat. “I’ll never get used to that.”

“It’s nice and tingly,” said Smolder, waving her paw at him. “Your claw scales are thick. You should try it sometime.”

“Yeah, I’ll pass,” Gallus replied. “Hey, watch your step. There’s broken crystal everywhere.”

Ocellus had gone ahead into the cavern where Cozy had hidden her magical array. “Hi, um, Tree? Tree of Harmony? Remember us?”

The empty room was silent. The symbols carved at the apex of the vaulted ceiling seemed to glow in the low light, highlighting fragments of crystal and loose brick lying in heaps. The floor was pitted with holes where sharp tiles had been blown from the mosaics that covered the soaring stone heights.

Ocellus gaped at the chamber’s ruin as she picked her way through the debris. “Wow, she really wrecked this place.”

“She sure did,” Silverstream agreed. “She would do anything to protect Equestria.”

There was a giggle from the darkened arches of the side passages.

“What was that?” whimpered Sandbar. “Anybody there? Tree?”

“Howdy!” a cheerful voice answered. Cozy Glow stepped out from behind a broad beam of scored, blackened crystal.

The students jumped back and began inching toward the exit. Yona put herself in front of the others, preparing for a fight. “Cozy pony? But … how …?”

Cozy advanced to the edge of the torchlight. “I’m so glad my friends came back to visit me! It gets lonely here sometimes, all by myself.” Her body sparkled like the bits of precious stone strewn beneath her transparent hooves.

Gallus signaled for them to wait. “Guys? That’s not Cozy.”

The apparition cocked its head. “Don’t worry about me, though. I’ve got plenty of school activities to keep me busy. I sure do love helping students learn and fit in. Even better when they use their knowledge to keep Equestria safe!”

“It’s her!” Ocellus cheered. “It’s the Tree!”

Smolder held her flaming paw closer to get a better look. “I don’t get it. That’s not how Cozy acted.”

“It was, though, before her plans were discovered,” Ocellus said, placing her hoof on Smolder’s arm and easing it back. “The Tree is keeping her alive, or what was the best of her. What she could have been.”

“Maybe she does that for the foals that, uh, that don’t make it,” said Sandbar.

The specter had turned and entered a fissure in the wall while they were talking. The moment her tail disappeared into the void, the surrounding stonework began to crack, expanding under the force of crystalline roots surging and growing within it. With a final groan, two branches broke through the ground to form an arch around the newborn tunnel, like a promise of safety to any who might pass beneath. The students didn’t need further invitation. They filed into the breathless passage, searching for signs of their guide. Smolder’s makeshift torch cast its wild orange light, layering the low ceiling with a film of ash. The crystal facets threw the sorry flame back in turns, so that the whole tunnel seemed to be ablaze.

They made it through to a pocket of pure ruby. The shimmering avatar of Cozy Glow sat at its center, her forelegs upraised as if she was offering a hug, or embracing a crowd of rapt listeners. Below her folded haunches was a statuette in her likeness, a replica of the one that now provided a warning to passersby in the Royal Gardens.

“Gather ‘round, friends,” she said. “I’ve got an extra special favor to ask of you.”

The six of them pressed into the tight space, keeping a respectful distance from the creature who had saved them, and whom in kind they had saved from destruction. Their reflections exploded into legions in the wild symmetries of the hollow red gem.

The image of Cozy Glow began to speak. “The road to friendship and harmony is paved with good intentions, but so are other roads. I have to confess, I’ve seen a few moves ahead. Three pawns are on the board, but only one will be promoted to a Queen and ruin our game, if given a chance.” She lifted her eyes toward Ocellus like she was offering a pair of carnations, and winked. “I won’t tattle if you won’t.”

With that, she vanished. The statuette faded away with her, revealing itself to be no more than a pile of broken, common stones.

Smolder grabbed one, inspecting it for arcana. “Was … any creature picking up what she was laying down?”

“I … um ... think it had something to do with success and teamwork?” said Silverstream.

Gallus snatched a pawful of the stones and shook them. “She was talking about the statue. That’s the reason she took the form of Cozy. We can’t let her be remembered like that. Even if there’s no bringing her back, we have to do something.”

“Well,” said Ocellus, “we could take the statue. Cozy’s part, I mean. Hide it, maybe even down here!”

Gallus glared at her before nodding. “Intriguing idea, my dear Ocellus. Bold, but intriguing.”

“And dangerous!” added Smolder. “I like dangerous!”

“Maybe the Tree would like some company. She said she was lonely,” Silverstream added. “Sandbar, Yona, what do you think?”

“Yona been waiting for adventure. Classroom friendship lessons good, but field work more instructive.”

Sandbar shrugged. “I guess it has been a little on the quiet side since we saved Equestria.”

Gallus strode to the tunnel entrance and turned to face them. “That settles it. We can take the evening train to Canterlot tonight. I’ll borrow some chisels and rockhounding bags from Visiting Professor Maud’s Rocks are Love class. Let’s meet in the lobby right after dinner. Agreed?”

The students shouted their enthusiasm. The matter being decided, they left the underground abode of the Tree of Harmony and climbed back up into the library. Smolder slid the grate shut as they went out to face the rest of their day.

After the last of their afternoon classes were finished and the cafeteria had thinned out, the six gathered in the front lobby. Gallus gave each of them a thick canvas bag equipped with a rock mallet and chisel. He waited until a pack of chatty hippogriffs passed out of sight before doling out their train tickets.

Ocellus took hers and dropped it into her bag. “I’ll meet you at the train station. I’m going to talk to Headmare Starlight, to let her know we’re going to Canterlot, and that we’ll be back in time for roll call tomorrow morning. I’ll see if she can talk to Princess Twilight too, just in case.”

“Good idea,” said Gallus. “That way, if something holds us up she’ll know where we are. See you there.”

***

None of them spoke on the train. The serene evening plains below Canterlot’s great mountain streaked by, dim and humid beneath the setting sun. As the cars met the lower slopes and began to incline, the sun winked below the horizon, dropping the blue shades of night with a solemn finality. Before long, the sign that marked the city’s first stop sped by.

The train slowed, the engine hissed, and the resolute passengers knew that it was time. They filed out into the hot, murmuring Canterlot streets. Ocellus took the lead, choosing routes that either kept them in the middle of crowds of weary ponies on their way home from the day’s work, or off of the main avenues and onto side streets, where the porches and balconies were empty. The lights of the shops and restaurants kept them from tripping on the scarred marble curb.

The bright windows of the city gave way to darkened stairways and doorsteps, and as the commercial district dwindled to abandoned tents and produce carts behind them, they could see, up on one of the mountain’s rounded hills, the row of firefly lamps that illuminated the Path of Victory. The pride of the Royal Gardens, the Path showcased the statues of Equestria’s leaders, heroes, and warriors of greatest renown. Once a year, every school pony would be led up the ancient road and given the stories of two or three of the weathered titans, then turned to face the monsters on the other side to be told of their infamy.

The students skirted a walled enclosure overhung by dense foliage. They were within sight of the first monument. Ocellus quickened the pace, an eye toward the rising moon. An odd noise murmured behind the wall’s marble bricks, like the cyclic grunt of old machinery.

“Luna’s private garden,” whispered Sandbar as they passed. “The roses must be in bloom.”

“No time to admire the scenery,” said Ocellus. “We need to get to Cozy’s statue soon. There are sure to be guards posted here at night.”

“I haven’t seen any yet,” Smolder replied. “We might still have time.”

“Night Princess garden not seem like friendly place,” said Yona. “Yona have bad feeling, like trees are watching.”

“It’s j-j-j … just the dark,” Silverstream stammered. “Nothing to worry about.”

“I could give a quick fly-over, if it would make you feel better,” Gallus offered. He scanned the treetops, checking for movement, or the reflection of eyes. The cold glint of the stars was all that returned his gaze.

Ocellus stamped her hoof. “No, that would just draw attention. Now come on! The statue is all the way at the end. We haven’t been spotted yet, but if you don’t keep your voices down …” She drew her hoof across her neck.

None of them needed further explanation. Without another word, they continued climbing the Path, scouring side to side for an ambush. The twin rows of figures that passed in gray procession back down the hill reached to the violet sky in triumph, or agony. Wind descending from the snowy peaks brushed the hedges, carrying the rumble of distant waterfalls and the hushed questions of owls hidden in the cedar forests below the crags. Ocellus brought a hoof to her lips as a final warning when their destination came into view.

The students huddled close, letting their eyes adjust to the weak light of a nearby firefly lamp. The statue of Cozy Glow, Queen Chrysalis and Lord Tirek stood in the crook of the Path where it bent further upward, last in the line of monsters. Young yew shrubs had been planted in a circle of broken earth around the base. The front-most was trimmed to accommodate the plaque that placed the trio in Equestria’s history of struggles against the forces of evil.

Sandbar retrieved his chisel from his bag. “So, how do we get her down?” he spoke into Ocellus’s ear. “I can’t reach.”

Ocellus shook her head. “I don’t know. I need to think.”

Yona frowned. “No time to think. Yona knock statue over, make easy for friends to break Cozy pony off.” She backed up to charge.

“Wait!” whispered Gallus, as loud as he dared. “That would make too much noise. This needs to be a surgical strike. Me and Silverstream will fly up and chip away Cozy’s tail. See where it’s connected to Tirek’s shoulder? That’s all that’s holding her up. We’ll try to catch her when she falls, but just in case, Yona, you wait underneath. Sandbar and Smolder, keep an eye out for guards. Ocellus, if any come within range, transform into something big and scary and distract them. When Cozy’s down, we carry her to the forest and bury her where nobody will think to look. One, two, three and it’s done.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Smolder. “Let’s get a move on.”

The others nodded. Gallus looked to Silverstream, who gave a shaky claw’s up. They hefted their tools and took to the air.

Above the ground, the tormented features of the villains were clearer, a rain-washed gray against the hazy starlight. Cozy Glow’s vacant gaze fell unblinking on the distant city towers, as if begging anyone who might listen for mercy and release. Charcoal streaks of mold tarnished the folds of her bone-white face.

After wheeling about like a nervous hummingbird searching for the angle that would yield the most nectar, Silverstream worked herself into the space between Tirek and Cozy. Supported by the centaur’s bowed head, she folded her wings and began poking at Cozy’s smooth marble flank with her chisel. Her search for a place to hammer led her upward. She began to climb.

The cold, wet kiss of the lichen that clung to the child’s chest touched her cheek, and she realized that her foreleg was wrapped around a pair of slender shoulders. She had given the same shoulders a squeeze at recess after lunch not too long ago, she remembered, singing the praises of raw tuna. “Oh, look at her,” she said, scraping away a fan of pale fungus. “She was so scared.”

“I know,” said Gallus. “Try not to think about it. Can you hold your chisel there?” He pointed to the knob that used to be the ribbon decorating Cozy’s curly tail. “That’s the thinnest part; the weak point. Hurry.”

Silverstream dipped lower and twisted her foreleg to the opposite side of the little scrolled column. The blade of her chisel scraped against the stone. “Is that OK? I hope it’s OK, because I can’t hold it for long! Wait, what if she—”

Gallus’s mallet came down, cleaving the brittle stone in two. The statue slid downward. As it gained momentum, it caught Silverstream’s foreleg below it, plunging her to the ground. She pumped her wings, but was unable to do more than slow its descent.

“It’s too heavy! I can’t …”

She crashed onto Yona, who spun just enough to send the mass of rock rolling onto the grass before it crushed them. They all froze. The wind surged through the stone effigies of the Path, whistling past the sharp edges of their spears and swords, moaning below the bridges of their limbs. Otherwise, it was silent.

“I think we’re clear,” Ocellus peeped.

Sandbar removed his forelegs from his face. “OK, but now what? This thing has got to weigh a ton.” He pushed at the statue with his forehead. “No way we’re getting this out of here.”

“No problem. I can just change into an Ursa and—”

“No, they’ll see you!” said Gallus.

Something metallic clanked from the direction of the garden.

Smolder rose into the air, ready to flee. “They heard us! We’re running out of time. What do we do?”

“Run?” begged Silverstream.

Gallus held up a paw. “We do what the Tree told us to do!”

“What do you mean?” asked Smolder. “She didn’t say anything that would help in this situation.”

“It wasn’t so much what she said, but what she did. Remember? After she disappeared, the figurine of Cozy she showed us came apart into pieces! She knew the statue would be too heavy. We just have to break it up, then divide it into small enough piles to fit in our bags.”

Sandbar studied their former classmate, taking in every line and detail of the shocked face. “I don’t know. I don’t think I can go through with it. It’s too lifelike. What if she’s still—”

“She’s not. Our only other option is to leave her here, and if we do, it’ll be worse than when she was up there on display,” Gallus growled, clenching his beak to keep his voice down. “She’ll be the only one on the Path who was despicable enough to have her memorial ruined, or that’s what every creature will think. They’ll start messing with her too. I can’t leave her like this.”

No one spoke to challenge him. The silent agreement struck, they descended on the fallen filly as one, pounding and chipping like they were plundering a rich vein of gold. Fresh white scars appeared on the stone body in sparks and puffs of dust. Legs, mane, and belly soon were pocked and crisscrossed, while the mass sank into the dirt. Cozy’s rigid mask of fear stared back up at them, still whole, unable to look away from the onslaught.

In their eagerness to be done before they were found out, they discovered that they had spent what little energy they had left after trekking up the Path in the thin mountain air.

“It’s no good,” Gallus groaned. “Breaking the tail was easy, but now there aren’t any weak spots!”

“If we don’t get out of here we’re done for,” Smolder urged. “Let’s bail.”

“No! There’s one more thing we can try,” said Ocellus. “Yona, what are yaks best at, and don’t say everything.”

“Yaks best at … smashing?” Yona ventured.

“Right! So smash, the yak way!”

Yona pondered for a moment, flexing each leg in turn. “Yona not sure, but Yona try.” She leapt into the air and gave a hushed battle cry as she came down on the half-buried statue. Up and down she bounded, her mind set on pulverizing the defiant slab, each impact forcing it lower and lower into the earth. Seeing no progress, she grimaced in concentration, sprung as high as she could, and kicked downward as she landed.

Cozy’s head split from her mane to her chin.

Yona paused, chest heaving, legs splayed to either side of her target. “Yona sorry, Cozy pony, but smashing for your own good.” She pried the two halves of the cracked face apart with the tip of her hoof.

“It’s working!” cried Ocellus. “Don’t stop!”

Yona obliged with renewed fervor. The forelegs broke next, bursting away from the cheeks and tumbling to the side. The destruction fed Yona’s instincts. Her kicks became frenzied, her crashes and stomps kicking up more and more dust and dirt until the ground beneath her was lost in a cloud of debris.

Exhausted, she flopped down on her haunches and shook the sweat from her face. The wind gusted again, unveiling the reward of her labor. There was nothing left that resembled a pony.

The students smiled at their victory. They each scrambled to grab as many pieces as they could and shove them into their bags with their tools. All that remained was a depression in the dirt lined with fine white powder.

“Good job every creature,” whispered Gallus. “Now let’s split up. Stay off the Path. If anybody asks, say you’re … you’re helping one of your friends at school. I’ll meet you at the train station.” He jumped into the endless breeze and glided away. Silverstream, Ocellus and Smolder followed after him. Earthbound, Yona and Sandbar took a last look around, shouldered their bags and trotted off into the hedges.

By the time the last of them made it back to Canterlot Station, the platforms were empty of travelers. The day’s newspapers sailed the length of the boarding zone on the wind, or churned in tiny cyclones. When the train doors closed and the engine began to roll them forward, nobody bothered to check their tickets. Ocellus watched the reflections of the few remaining city lights pick up speed as they drifted away along the windows, her foreleg curled around her bag. It crunched in her grip at every bump.

The lack of sleep, the exertion, and the long hour spent up in the thin air hit them all at once. None of them could recall much of the ride home as they stumbled out into the quiet Ponyville night. Ocellus trudged behind the others still listening for the sounds of Royal Guards, expecting any moment to walk into the point of a spear. Only when the doors of the School of Friendship creaked shut behind her did she allow herself to relax.

She bade a sedate good night to her friends, and followed Silverstream to the dormitory. They took turns washing their faces and combing the grime from their forelimbs in the bathroom across the hall. Ocellus didn’t care to look in the mirror. She dried her hooves in a daze and clicked off the light.

Too tired to do much else, she pushed her bag under the bed and dove into her bunk. The covers enveloped her like a warm hug. She snuggled in, found her sleeping cap under her pillow and slipped it on. Her mother always reminded her it would bring good dreams and smart thinking for schoolwork. So far she hadn’t been wrong.

“We did the right thing, wouldn’t you say, Silverstream?” she mumbled. “No creature will make fun of Cozy anymore.”

She fell asleep before she heard the answer.

The next morning woke her with a sunbeam to the face. She checked her alarm clock and grinned. She was going to be able to keep her promise to Headmare Starlight.

“Come on, Silverstream, time to get up,” she said, rubbing the fuzzy leg suspended over the edge of the bunk. “We’ve got to be in the Gathering Hall in ten minutes for attendance.”

“Mmmm?” Silverstream responded. She rolled over, blinking at the intense light. “Oh … yeah. Thanks Ocellus.”

Once they’d freshened up, they headed off to be accounted for. The Gathering Hall was already full of bleary-eyed students when they arrived, murmuring amongst themselves. They jostled through the crowd to stand next to Yona and Sandbar, who were fighting to keep their chins off of their chests. Gallus and Smolder hovered above them.

Headmare Starlight tapped the podium and cleared her throat. The light chatter died down. “Thank you,” she called. “Before we count who’s here, I have some serious news I’d like to share with you. Ocellus, do you remember yesterday afternoon when you asked me to talk to Princess Twilight about giving Cozy Glow another chance? Well, after conferring with the other princesses, she decided to do just that! Unfortunately, some pony vandalized her part of her … uh … Remembrance Memorial last night. Tirek and Chrysalis were just freed and are on their way to Tartarus for rehabilitation, but Cozy is nowhere to be found. We haven’t been able to contact her parents, and can only assume she’s out there, somewhere. I want you all to be extra careful over the next few days. She may try to come here seeking revenge. Now if you’ll excuse me, Vice-Headstallion Sunburst and I are going to set up a magical alarm spell around the school. Please remain here until I return.” She disappeared in an aqua-blue flash.

Ocellus stood petrified. She sorted Starlight’s words over and over, trying to connect them in a way that avoided the conclusion she knew to be true. “No …” she spoke to the image taking shape in her mind’s eye. Slowly, she turned to her friends, whose vacant stares told her they were lost in the same struggle.

She buzzed upward and darted back in the direction of her room. Behind her, the wingbeats and hoofsteps of her friends echoed from the crystal walls of the corridor, past the stately busts of the Pillars of Harmony, the gilt-framed portraits of Celestia and Luna, and the stern likeness of Princess Twilight.

Ocellus threw open her door. The blazing square of light that had woken her had crept to her bedside, where it broke across the bottom frame and the floor. When she saw her bag peeking from beneath her bed, its edge alight in the sun, she fell to her knees and screamed.

Once bulging with rigid lumps, now it slouched under the weight of what it contained. Baby blue strands of curly hair poked from below the flap.

A moment later, the others tumbled into the room. “Ocellus!” Gallus cried. “Tell me we didn’t—”

“Look!” Silverstream shrieked.

Cozy sat in the corner of the room. When they turned, she lifted her shimmering, transparent forelegs, pressed them to her cheeks, and smiled.

“Thanks a bundle for your help, friends! I’d say you’ve all earned an A-plus!”