Worth it?

by BenjaminHad

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Princess Luna, Drama, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1098

Twilight has always tried her hardest to impress her mentor and idol, Celestia. Yet, for as hard as Twilight tries, Celestia never seems to be satisfied, never noticing. Twilight discovers why, or what rather, has caused this.

From what seemed to be her first breath, tales of Celestia were woven in her crib. A filly told stories of her ruler's splendor.
She looked to Celestia and saw the most sophisticated, regal, and kind mare any pony could be. A pony that all grownups respected...and all children like herself would dream of being.

After years of study and nearly neurotic levels of dedication, she was generously granted the chance to become her student.
Now as an adult, she was blessed with an opportunity to fulfill a dream that her younger self lost hours of sleep imagining.

So of course, as any diligent student does, she focuses even further on her work in waning hope of being acknowledged. But it still isn't working...and when she discovers why it isn't working, Twilight naturally takes steps to deal with it.

Published 2021-02-18 03:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-18 03:00:00 UTC

The nights feel warmer

I had another dream.

I used to dream so much before! About so many awesome spells I read in my books, and all the ways to impress my parents with magic that not even they could do!

But I started dreaming less.

Maybe it has something to do with things being less exciting in the house? My Mom gave me a book for my birthday, telling me about dreams and what causes them. Some people say it has to do with what you're scared of, or the stuff you want.

But my dad says that it's all about this thing called 'stimulation'. If the brain isn't excited by new or fun stuff, it won't dream I guess. That's probably true, things really have been boring around the house with Shiny and Mom gone. I miss Shiny a lot, Mom even more. Shiny sends us letters from his new station in the guard, but Mom doesn't send us even one letter from Manehatten because she's always so busy with her new job.

I can tell that dad misses mom a lot too.

Whenever I mention mom, he goes upstairs to use the bathroom and starts peeing really loudly. I guess he pees so loudly because he doesn't want me to bug him? I remember Shiny told me that adults need space sometimes when they're sad, so I try not to talk to him about it anymore.

...

Where was I again? Oh right, my dream!

I started dreaming about magic again. Except it was confusing, everything was so blurry that I could feel myself choking on the fog.
I remember a few things from inside the dream though! I saw myself in a mirror, my bathroom mirror. Except I had the face of someone I didn't recognize. She looked almost like my babysitter Cadence, with wings and a horn, except she was red instead of pink with her eyes being a dull purple like mine.

Then...I saw my Mom again, together with Dad in the living room watching our television. Nothing was playing on the television, it was just a dark static flashing across the screen, making a horrible scratching noise that made my ears twitch and ache. They were watching the screen intently though, as if something was on yet I couldn't see it. It's as if their mind wasn't there anymore?

Through my slowly clouding vision, the presence of my parents receded.

Knowing they wanted to be alone together, I trotted outside my house to find Shiny. I simply knew Shiny would be playing with Cadence and fawning over her coat when nobody else is around, they seemed to love being around each other.
I wanted to play with Cadence too, I wanted to walk right up to her and sing the ladybug song.

Yet, as I got closer, she kept moving farther and farther. I started running, but when she heard the grass beneath my tattered and clipped hooves move, she turned to me and looked. I yielded to the feeling of dread in my stomach and looked down to the grass beneath me, seeing inky black blades pricking my ankle.

She was still, and silent. Not moving, not reacting. Only staring and staring and staring and stari-

I didn't like the way she looked at me, so I turned to look at Shiny. But he was gone. I was confused and scared so I looked back, yet Cadence was gone too.

Then I was somewhere else.

The feeling of grass beneath my hooves never left me, yet I noticed their colours were brighter. They took on a beautiful green which reminded me of the splendid colours found in my books. It reminded me of a fairy tale my Dad read to me last week. He fell asleep halfway through the story, but it was majestic all the same.

He told me of a goddess named Celestia. Wise and benevolent, she led ponies of yore to safety in times of crisis, and happiness in times of peace. Hearing that story made me feel safe. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see Celestia.

And I did.

Across the field of grass, I saw her rainbow mane. It was more beautiful than all of the stories had described. I ran to see her face, but I saw no features. My reaction was as expected, confusion and fright when gazing at a pony with no face. I closed my eyes to keep my rapidly moistening eyes from being seen. But being the gentle leader that I knew she was, she knelt and nuzzled my neck.

I settled immediately, feeling no less relaxed than laying in bed with my mother's coat against mine, singing sweet words into my ear, even when I never understood what they meant.

I gradually opened my eyes, as if seeing again her empty face would scare me. Instead, I saw the face of a beautiful mare. Even now I couldn't remember exactly what that face looked like, it remained blurry. But I do remember seeing a beautiful blue color where her eyes ought to be. I don't know why, but I loved it all the same.

The smile she gave me was infectious, and I smiled back. Slowly, as if Celestia were speaking to a scared animal, she said to me.."Wake up honey". I was confused, 'wake up'? That's an odd thing to say when meeting someone for the first time. I tried asking her what she meant, but I was made mute. My soul was beckoned from its body, agony and viscous panic rising with it.

Yet again the words, "Wake up" echoed within the chambers of my mind, thunderous in its assault.

Attempting to open my crusted eyes, they pained me with the world stinging a ferocious white.

The glaring white settled, replaced instead by a tumultuous glare upon my father's features. Clearly he was irritated, with the duty of discovering why now falling squarely upon my withers. Perhaps he needed a meal to make him less grumpy?
Neither of us have been eating properly without Mom around, maybe it's time for me to step in as the new lady of the house and make awesome food for us to enjoy. Just like when the whole family was together.

Dad has been telling me alot recently that I'm a big girl now...I hope I can live up to his expectations.

Author's Note

My friend told me to include a link to this song (yes that's my excuse, don't judge me).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hFKppDtUqc

Vampire lolis FTW.