Fear

Twilight had only arrived home from playing with her friends, late in the evening when her parents told her the news. Spike was wounded beyond recovery. She knew it very well deep within her heart, but she refused to admit it to herself. Her very first friend, gazing at her, his eyes clouded. He could barely see her. But Twilight still had faith. She had faith, even after her failure to aid him. She knew of it, but refused to acknowledge it in her mind. Pushed it away as far as she could to deny that possibility. But Spike was drifting from her grip and Twilight felt it. Tears poured out the moment she collapsed. She silently cried as it echoed into the night. Her parents did nothing but watch, trying to console their grieving daughter, yet they understood that she wanted to be with her pet alone. Her very first friend. Spike’s body was beyond healing and he didn’t have much longer. Twilight raised her head up and uttered his name.

“Spike...”

. . .

A little girl crept to the window of a pet shop, eyes wide as she surveyed the family of puppies there.

“Mom, can I please have one?”

Her mother sighed. “Twilight, you know the rules. No animals in this house."

“But Mom-“

“I said no, Twilight. Your father will never allow it."

“Dad, um, I saw this thing in town the other day, and it…I, well….

“What was it?

“It's a dog.”

“What was that?”

“A dog.”

"A dog?”

“Um… yeah.”

“Twilight, what are the rules in this house?”

“Eat all your food. Don’t make a lot of noise. And… and…”

“Yes?”

“...No pets.”

. . .

That memory faded out the moment Twilight sighed. “Spike.” she whispered. You were near my window. When I was thirteen years old.” She breathed a deep breath. “I have always wanted a dog just like everyone else… but my dad was different.”

Spike murmured to Twilight, almost as if he was paying attention. Perhaps he was.

“But then… then…”

. . .

“Twilight! Come downstairs, your mother and I want to talk to you.”

Twilight rushed towards the lower level and stopped in her parents’ tracks. They turned towards each other- and nodded before facing their daughter.

“We have decided you are old enough- to have a pet.”

. . .

Twilight smiled through her tears.

"I was so happy, it meant I could finally have you."

Spike still didn’t seem to recognize her.

“I was already wanting a companion, but after seeing you, I knew we had a connection. It was like having another brother. Except you weren’t a human. Yet, you fitted right in.”

Spike gave a small whimper.

“Spike! Does it hurt? Are you okay?”

But Spike had drifted into a deep sleep again.

Twilight sighed.

“Spike, I am so sorry. So sorry for not helping you. You must have hated my guts since that time. It was all my fault. I should have helped you sooner. If I had taken it back from the beginning, I’d have…”

. . .

"I won’t be gone for long, Spike. Really. You’ll be fine."

He gazed up at her, his eyes full of trust.

. . .

“But I abandoned you for three days. That’s why you hate me!" Spike slowly shifted his head towards Twilight. “What else can I say?”

The ticking sounds of the clock have told her that it has nearly been past an hour. For some time now, she hasn't said a word. All she did was wait. Wait by his side to see him wake up.

“Everything was my fault Spike. You should hurt me. You should hate me! I deserve it! So very much! Don’t feel bad, Spike! My parents knew it from the very beginning! I wasn’t prepared! I couldn’t save you! Why am I so weak? Why am I dead weight?!"

At this point, Twilight was beyond consolation. She was so saddened by the entire situation that she just wanted it all to end.

“What am I supposed to do, Spike? How will I ever forgive myself? How can I go on without you?”

He barely had much time left. He was nearing death’s door. Getting ready to knock on it.

“Please… don’t die, Spike.” Hours passed by. “Spike… let me tell you a story.” Spike didn’t utter a sound. Twilight cleared her throat and spoke up,

“Once upon a time, a little girl lived in a small room. Because she was so small, she would sneak out into the whole wide world without her parents knowing. She would always explore different places. During her adventures, she met a best friend. They would always stick with one another, no matter how bad the weather got. But the little girl always had school. She didn’t see her friend as often as she wanted to anymore. But she would continue to see them.

But as the days passed, they would grow distant to one another. The girl never met her friend as much. But her happiness never faded. Happy until the girl’s family member grew ill. The girl took care of her. But she didn’t last long. She knew that their days would be long past. It didn’t take long for them to notice the writing on the wall from the doctor. They died. She left the room after her family member’s passing. So she ran for her very life. She ran out to the world, excitement dancing with her sadness, and rushed to the clearing. She wasn’t there. It was already too late, and she never saw her friend again. Twilight let out a sad sigh.

“My mother shared that story with me when one of her relatives died. She said that it was hard letting go, but death is part of life…” She placed her hand on his ear. “It kills me to say it Spike, but I have to let you go. It’s hard to accept it but if you keep holding on, your pain won’t go away and it’ll keep getting worse for the both of us.”

She smiled. “I get it now, Spike. But… it still hurts. It just… isn’t enough. Can you ever find in you to forgive me, Spike?”

Spike didn’t have much longer, but he had something to say to Twilight. He placed his paw on her hand and uttered with his final breath, “No… hard… feelings… Twi."