Chapters 1 and... Whatever the Last Chapter is called.
"Now out. GO!" The salespony shouted as he tossed Pinkie from the store, a scratchy Manehattan accent in his voice.
"Sheesh, what a meany-pants." Pinkie commented to herself as she shoved the nondescript cardboard box into her mane. She trotted down the road, greeting the various ponies.
"Happy four-hundred ninety-seventh day before your next-next birthday, Lyra!"
She entered her place of occupation and lodging, heading to the counter and hopping straight over it, an open sign flipping to its more inviting side in response. Humming not-so quietly, she tore apart the box with a cupcake wrapping and stared at the item inside. It was amazing. A sleek black shell, a quartet of buttons, red, blue, green, and yellow, all surrounding a simple logo. 'Simon', it read. She pressed the blue button.
At first nothing happened. Then it lit up, a brighter blue emitting from the button. She was immediately perplexed, as it shut off soon after activating. She hit another, but all that happened was a deep buzzing, one that penetrated her very soul. She again hit another. The red she had hit lit up. She somehow knew what to do, hitting the red. It lit again, but she was compelled to wait. The yellow then lit up. She hit the red button, then the yellow. The pattern repeated, followed by the blue. Scumeiss. She snapped out of her trance, looking up to the customer bugging her to listen. He was so inconsiderate, trying to tear her away from her beloved game.
She tilted her head slightly to the side, her hair instantly deflating.
"Eh, excuse me miss?" He cocked his head, following hers. "Are you okay?"
"Okay? I'm... okay." She said, her head rotating 360 degrees, the camera zooming in on her as her eyes drifted in opposite directions.
"Nevermind... I'll just be going." He said, and slowly backed out of the building, sweating spontaneously. As he exited, his rear collided with the face of Rarity the unicorn.
"Excuse me miss." He said, backing again in the opposite direction. But as he checked as to what was at his rear, he immediately turned around again, hoping to escape the crazed pink mare. But he was not one bit in the mood for confronting the peeved fashionista, so he turned around again. And again. And again. And again and again and again and again and again, until collapsing, and crashing through the floor, and into a tunnel. One that was occupied by Applejack.
With the customer now unconscious, and Applejack having climbed out of the tunnel that lead directly to Pinkie's sugar stash, they three confronted each other.
"Applejack darling, why where you attempting to steal Pinkie's sugar?" Rarity inquired.
"I dunno, need ingredients ah guess. Why are you here?" Applejack replied.
"I-"
"HEY GIRLS PLAY THIS WITH ME!" Pinkie shouted, and the two other mares turned to her.
In unison, they complied, and sat down around the hole, the toy somehow hovering in midair unassisted. Pinkie hit one of the buttons, it lit up, and then she hit it again. It then lit up again, followed by another.
"That's... amazing." Applejack said, her eyes dilating as she leaned closer.
"Simply marvelous." Rarity said, strands of her mane randomly sticking up.
They played, and played, and played. Within an hour, Rainbow Dash strolled into the building.
"What are you doing?" She asked. After receiving no reply, she shrugged to herself and sat down, joining in. The three occupied mares each scooted in unison, leaving a perfect space for Rainbow. She sat, and joined in.
Pinkie hit red.
It flashed.
Pinkie hit the red again.
Red.
Yellow.
Green.
Red.
Green.
Blue.
Blue.
Yellow.
Red.
Green.
Red.
Blue.
Green Yellow Red Blue Red Blue Green Green Yellow Red Blue.
It just kept going, Rainbow slowly hovering off the ground, drooling as she pumped her hooves in the air, begging the device to continue. All four of them were practically touching it, entirely enthralled. The felt compelled to stop hitting it. It continued flashing random colors. They all floated off the ground, the color slowly draining from them.
And that's when the town librarian peeked her head in. Upon seeing the activities going on, she remained silent. She tip-hooved into the room, and pulled an instruction manual from the box on the counter. She read it to herself.
Your guide to the Self Indoctrination Modular Nexus.
That sounded ominous. And it was. Until something unprecedented happened. A massive dark blue portal, swirling with silvery veins exploded from the device, engulfing her friends. She shouted for them, and the portal faded. Her friends seemed to be unharmed, but in the center of them was a large biped, clad in a dark gray armor, a red stripe running down one of its arms.
"I'm Commander Shepard, and you four seem to be indoctrinated. But I can't be entirely sure. I'll have this weird AI thing I found on a derelict ship test you all." It stopped speaking, and a voice emitted from its helmet.
"What do throw away the outside of, cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside?" The voice asked.
All four of them were stumped. Twilight was about to speak up, but felt compelled not to. They said nothing.
"The answer is Corn. Arm the nuke and get back in the portal, ~~Chief~~ Shepard." It said, and Commander Shepard dropped a large metal device and walked back into another portal, the new device beeping. And then an all-encompassing white light engulfed the entire town.
THE END.
Hah, not really.
THE EPILOGUE.
The lone pony stared up at the stars, vowing to get revenge. Her hood fell, revealing her determined lavender-covered muzzle, her mane blowing in the wind. She turned, and walked away from the edge of the cliff, climbing into the makeshift starship behind her.
"By Celestia's Mane, I'll get you yet." As she said that, a truck passed by, a faint sound blaring from inside it.
"And there you'll see one of the few survivors of the Simon incident, sadly they are primitive and unevolved. This one seems to have built a makeshift starship, something we've accomplished decades ago. It seems her Eezo core is imcomplete, and lacking shielding. Upon activation, it will detonate and leave no remains. We would do something, but by the Order of Her Holiness Celestia the First One, we are forbidden from tampering with the survivors. And if you look to your left you'll see..."
Fin Capite. Or something fancy. Yeah, this kinda is a joke.
