The things i do for love

Promise me… Promise me you’ll never go back to being that monster.

I hear her voice in my head. I could never shake it, even to this day. It reverberates in my head, over and over….. Just like her lullaby. I can’t sleep because of it. You know how ironic that is? A lullaby that keeps you from sleeping?…. It feels like I haven’t slept in centuries…..

I promise, Pinkie.

Pinkie swear?

Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

I remember the promise I made all too well…. And how I broke it. That night. With that knife. It still makes me shudder. As I sit atop this golden throne, every pony at my beck and call….. I can’t help but feel like I made the wrong choice. The gold that lines my fingers, the crown that sits upon my brow, the chaos I spread across the world…. It all means nothing to me. The chocolate rain makes me think of Pinkie Pie.

“I’m so….. So sorry.” I whispered to no one in particular as I hung my head. The clothes I wear mean less to me than the now tattered suit that rarity made for me long ago. Full moons mean nothing to me now. In fact time now means absolutely nothing. For what is time when compared to a god?

A god….. I never thought I’d be able to call myself that and not sound like an arrogant prick… But now it’s technically true. Though I think of myself as more of a demon. The memory haunts me, even now that they’re all long dead and decayed.

Are you…. Gonna cut the cake? her voice rings again, and I start to cry.

“Why!? Why did I do it!?” I yelled between sobs.

You did well, old friend.

SHUT UP!

Oh, but such mercy, or lack thereof, requires reward. Oh, I’d gotten my reward alright…. I’ve seen generations of ponies live and die. Laugh, love, cry and hate…. But I never saw Rainbow again. No god has that power, except in illusions. I could conjure and image of her, but I could never take the pain it brought…. Can you believe it? Three hundred years…. And I still have nightmares of that night….

Christian, what are you doing!?

Hold on, ah got ‘im.

No, Applejack, don’t!

She’d been the first to fall… after that, it was all just a blur…. And I couldn’t stand the sight of it. Is immortality worth the price I’ve paid? In the immortal words of Voltaire, “It gets so lonely being evil. What I'd do to see a smile, even for a little while. And no one loves you when you're evil.” and they never do. When they see me, the cringe and kneel in terror. Not once since that day have I seen a legitimate smile. Even my reflection lies to me these days.

But…. It’s all just a day in the life, eh? I mean, I have everything anyone could ever want. Money. Power. Alcohol. Mares, should I so choose….. But none of them make the memory fade. Countless nights, drunk and alone, have seared them into my brain like a cattle brand.

I’ll always be with you…. Right here…

Pinkie, no, I’m so sorry…… Don’t go, please for the love of god, don’t go!

It’s alright…. I’m tired…. I’m gonna take a nap now…..

Pinkie! Pinkie!? No……. No, not again….. Not again…..

A/N: Alright everyone, another split ending this time around. I hope you enjoyed this one(to a reasonable extent, of course)!