Ponid-19

Starlight, Trixie, and their two new friends quietly made their way down a certain street. They darted from alley to alley, nimbly avoiding detection while keeping their forward progress certain. As they did so, the shadows of their hiding places crept over them, and they could almost feel the virus’s steely grip grasping onto their flanks. Sometimes, one of them would absentmindedly jump at something that was not there, and other times, young Kite String would yelp in fright and nestle closer to her mother.

“We’ve gotta find something soon,” Starlight said, “I think the thought of the virus is more threatening to us than the illness itself.”

They managed to get to the corner of the avenue, although most of the company was completely out of breath. There sat a grizzled stallion, without a hazmat suit, holding up a wooden sign that said, “the government cannot decide my essentiality.” It seemed that he was putting on a small protest against the harsh measures that Cadance and Shining Armor had taken. Starlight smiled as she realized that this was just the type of pony they needed to see. But the guards, along with Shining himself, had seen him first. So, the investigating ponies shot back behind a building, out of sight of the intruding soldiers.

The armor clad stallions trotted up to him. One of them eyed him suspiciously. “Alright, move it, old timer!”

“Make me,” came the rebellious response.

“Alright, I will!”

The stallion went to throw the older pony off the corner, but Shining Armor stopped him. “Your Majesty!” The guard protested, “I mean, forgive me for contradicting your…hoof, but-“

“Leave him alone,” Shining Armor commanded firmly, “he’s not hurting anypony.”

“But he doesn’t have his suit on! How do we even know he’s from here?”

“We don’t,” Shining said, “but the Equestrian Constitution guarantees the right to peaceably protest things. As far as I’m concerned, one pony sitting on a street corner with nopony else around isn’t doing anything to upend our fight against the virus. Unless twenty unsuited ponies come and stand three inches from him, I’m not worried. Carry on, sir.”

Shining and the other stallion turned and trotted off. There was a noticeable disappointment on the stallion’s face, as if he was actually excited about arresting the older pony. But Shining Armor’s word was law, and the stallion could not stand against it. So, the guards left the older pony to his devices. Unfortunately for him, there didn’t seem to be many. Hardly anyone was around, and the one or two who did pass him by completely ignored him. Some would even shoot small rocks his direction and tell him that he was putting other lives at risk.

“You moron!” One mare shouted from behind her hazmat facemask, “you’ll get it, you know? You aren’t FRIENDLY DISTANCING YOURSELF!”

“This is me,” the grizzled stallion replied, holding his hoof between the ground and some imaginary dot in the air, before dropping it to the ground itself, “and this is the level of fucks I give about what you’re saying.”

“Oh…riffraff!” The insulted mare said before using her back leg to hurl a pebble at him and stalking off.

At this point, the investigation team came creeping out from the shadows. Rose Garden was strictly instructing Kite String never to use the term that he had used that began with the letter F. But, of course, the young filly’s ears were burning with curiosity at just what the word meant and why he’d used it. Her mother quickly struck down her inquisitiveness with one glare, and the filly knew better than to cross her. So she crept back beside her mother, upset at not knowing, but happy that she wouldn’t be punished.

“Hello,” Starlight said as they stood a respectable distance from him.

“You here to join the cause or just throw rocks at me?”

Starlight smiled kindly. “Neither. My name is Starlight Glimmer, and these are my friends Trixie, Rose Garden, and little Kite String. We’re investigating PONID-19, and we wanted to ask you some questions.”

“Ah, this PONID-19 business. What absolute chicanery! What absolute malevolence! What-“

“Okay, okay,” Starlight said, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I get it. You don’t like the sickness, nor the reactions to it. My question is: why?”

The older stallion smirked. “Do you really wanna know?”

Starlight and the others nodded desperately, so he got up and instructed them to follow him. He led them through a winding maze of alleys and streets, yet he seemed to know exactly where he was going. It dawned on everypony that he had an excellent sense of direction and could judge north, south, east, and west as if he were a living, breathing compass. Starlight, in particular, was awed at his sense of maneuverability and she made a mental note to ask him about it at some point. Now, they had more important things to discuss.

“Pardon me, sir, but…I never got your name,” she ventured.

“My name? My name is Smooth Boulder,” the stallion said, “but most folks just call me Tin Foil.”

“Ah,” Starlight responded, “I take it you’re a conspiracy theorist?”

The stallion turned his head and eyed Starlight, who offered a sheepish smile in return. He whipped his head back around and faced forward, pointedly ignoring her presence, yet acknowledging her inquiry. “Yeah, that’s what other ponies say. But I like to think of myself as a subterranean detective, plowing into the very thoughts of those who believe they are in charge. If nopony kept the higher-ups on their hoof nails, then our entire society would crumble.”

“Yeah,” Starlight said, “I can see the need for that kind of thing, but…honestly, the ponies in charge are good and kind. I’ve met Celestia on multiple occasions, and she’s wonderful.”

“Bah!” The older one spat, “Celestia! She’s at the top of the Equestrian food chain, the link between ponies and the very heavens above…yet does she know us? Stop and think, my dear Starlight, does Celestia actually dwell among us common ponies?”

“Well…no,” Starlight responded, “but she does go out and see everyone every day.”

“Oooo…a carriage ride through Canterlot,” the grizzled one said with severe sarcasm, “do you think that would cause her to see the plight of those who do not have what she has?”

Starlight stopped and pondered his question. She realized that the point he made was an excellent one. The royal sisters had every need tended to and were waited on leg and hoof. They had hordes of guards to protect them, and they kept themselves shut up in their castle unless it was necessary for them to emerge. Luna got to sleep all day, while Celestia trotted about her hometown waving at everyone. As much as she loved them, she had to admit that the grizzled protester had his fair share of logical meaning.

She was so deep in thought that she accidentally bonked into his rump when he stopped. She offered another sheepish smile and blushed deeply. “Um…sorry,” she said honestly.

He grunted at her before pointing to a house on the outskirts of town. “We’re here.”