Chapters Celestia walked through the halls of her castle slowly. She was going to miss being the ruler of Equestria but she also wasn't. She was ready to retire, but she wasn't ready to be bored. Most of her duties were transferred to twilight. What was she going to do with her life now? She was an immortal being with nothing to do. That's when she heard a familiar pop behind her and she recognized this pop immediately.
“Hello Discord," she said with some glimmer of hope. Maybe her retirement wouldn't be that boring not with him around. All the nothing was really starting to get to her, he had to have something to do.
“Hello ‘tia I was wondering...would you...like to cause chaos with me." He asked raising his eyebrows well off his head. "there's something I have been plotting for quite some time. Come on...come on…. Commmeee onnnnn.” He said, starting to shake her “I know you're bored, cause chaos with me just this once. It'll be fun" he said waving his claw and paw through the air with some extra flair.
Celestia took a moment to reflect, was she really going to do this? Then she thought of the alternative, another night of absolutely nothing. “Ok, I'll hear your plan out at the least." She said, her heart beating hard. “But nothing crazy Discord!”
Discord cracked a mischievous smile, “of course not!”
Twilight was surprised when she suddenly got a scroll from Celestia, saying she was excused from ruling tomorrow. Celestia said she wanted to rule just one more day. Twilight sighed in annoyance. She had been very excited to take over but I guess she'd have to wait. She wasn't one to disrespect her mentors' last wishes. With that thought, she put down her to-do list and picked up a book. At least she could spend tomorrow getting some reading and studying done.
The Next Day
Discord, I mean ‘Celestia’ , made his way into the throne room. He sat down onto his throne and smiled. He called upon a random guard "go get whoever organizes my day. I've forgotten what I had to do. It slipped my mind.”
The guard looked up at Discord on Celestia's throne in confusion. What the hell was he doing here, "Discord?"
“No it's Celestia, now go do as I say!" He insisted, waving a claw towards the door.
The guard left with apprehension, what should he do? Maybe he should get Princess Luna. He trotted down the hallway heading towards Luna's chambers. He stopped, knocking fast at her door. He needed her to see what he was seeing.
“What do thou want?” She faked a yawn, she was pretending to have just woken up. In fact, her actual sister told her what was to happen. She decided to play along as she was getting bored as well.
“It is Celestia she's...not herself?" What the Tartarus was he supposed to say? "It's an emergency come look." He said trotting back down the hallway as Luna flew behind him. He approached the throne room doors and opened it. "Look," he said, pointing a hoof to discord.
“Hello, sister of mine! What are you doing?” He said waving his claw at Luna.
“Hello, sister. She looks fine to me. Why do thou waste my precious time?" She said her breath hitching at the end as she suppressed her laughter. She knew of the plan, oh how she knew. "But since you are concerned I shall help rule today." She said, making her move to Discord’s side. She was there as a supporting character and she had some plans of her own. "Oh sister, just like the good old days. How I will miss all this." She said leaning over and hugging ‘Celestia’
“There, there, dear sister of mine," Discord paused as he felt his breath hitch in the back of his throat. "Well find something to do with our time.”
“I suppose you are right,” Luna said with a smile.
“I love you, sister" Discord said, clutching his sides as he quaked slightly.
Luna's face puffed as she held her breath "love you to sister." She managed to say before smiling like a fiend. She was determined to play this game.
“Uhhh. Ok, I'll… inform the guards." The guard said as he trotted out the door. Luna and Discord looked at each other.
A pegasus flew in with a clipboard "hello…. Celestia and Luna," he had been informed of the current situation. As no one had any better ideas as of yet, he would play along. "Since it slipped your mind. You have a full schedule today three meetings, then service to your ponies and after that more meetings." He said flipping through the pages. "Any questions?"
"Yes, Discord will be around at about three please cancel anything after that time. I have a feeling it will not bode well." He said seeing his ‘sister’ quake besides him "call it an emergency"
The pegasus gave a stressed look, the more important meetings were always saved for later as requested by Twilight. So it actually would be good if they were canceled, "I'll make it happen."
“Thank you. You are dismissed,” Discord said waving his claw through the air.
The pegasus bowed and left the room. Luna took in a couple of deep breaths. They both smiled at one another and turned back around on their thrones. They heard a knock at the door; it was their first meeting of the day. It was with a dignitary from Fillydelphia.
"Hello," said a stallion with a grey main and black fur, his cutie mark some odd orange creature. "Names Gritty Jawn and I'm here for a trade agreement." He said looking up at the throne. See he had been informed of the situation at the door. Instead of being mad, he was stoked. Maybe he would get a better deal than before, but would they honor it later? Who knows, he smiled, but it was time to find out.
"Of course let us start our negotiations." Discord said waving the stallion closer. "What is that you want?"
The stallion thought about it. This was Discord and Discord could do anything he wanted. Even if he was playing a game. If there was a small chance that Gritty could get whatever he wanted from Discord. Then he was going to take it. What could be done in a snap of his fingers?
"The roads need to be repaved, could always use more funding, and a new stadium." He said thinking to himself, this guy could do whatever you want. Think outside the box. Come on man. Those are also important but this guy is like a god. "Self-cleaning streets!" He said with a smile.
Discord raised an eyebrow, some of these demands were boring. It was the last one that caught his attention. This stallion was hoping that maybe, just maybe, Discord would stick to his agreements. Even if he wasn't technically Discord at this moment, this stallion was smart. Discord almost wanted to agree, "you'll get a bundle of dancing sticks and some talking ducks"
"Also some vibrating peanut butter jars, empty" luna said, cracking a smile at discord. They could offer whatever they wanted "you are welcome!"
Luna and discord smiled at each other then looked at the stallion, he looked so disappointed. This meeting was probably hard for him to get. "And of course what you asked for" Discord added thinking maybe he could do some of it. "But only if you take our offer of changing the roads to cotton candy and all flowers are now lollipops." If discord was going to stick to his side of the agreement he wanted to be able to cause chaos "oh and all bushes now sing."
"Will the cotton candy be sticky? How long will the chaos last?" Asked the stallion, he did not want to be walking on sticky cotton candy who knows how long.
"Until Discord gets bored, which will probably be quick, but let's just say one year. No, it won't be sticky but you can still eat it. It'll just grow back and it won't get dirty. It'll forever be perfectly clean. All trash going straight to the dumpster, just like you asked."
"Deal!" He said trotting back out the door. Even if discord didn't keep up the deal. He at least hoped he'd tell the princess. They'd figure out something, though it would be easier with discords magic.
Luna looked back at discord. "Are you really going keep your word, sister?" she had to play along but she was also curious if Discord would.
"I think I'll at least try, sister." He wasn't sure but if he got to cause chaos and help it be the best of both worlds. It felt good to help and it felt good to cause chaos so why not both? Discord wanted to talk it out with Luna some more but he couldn't break character so he tapped his claws together as he watched a mare walk into the room.
The second dignitary, a mare whose cutie mark was three sevens in a row, walked into the room. Her coat was golden and her mane red and blue, she was Wahapns Stazn from Las Pegasus. She dropped all regalia as she was told what was happening at the front gate. Since she was second she had some extra time on her hooves so she wrote up her demands. "Morning Celestia it's so good to see you ruling once more no offense but I wanted to work with Twilight. You and I worked together for so long," Stazn said with a smile. She had always thought Celestia to be stuck up, this was quite the surprise.
"I was hoping to leave the boring stuff aside for once and have a little fun. You seem up for that now. Just a hunch." She said looking up at the surprised and confused Luna and Discord. "So with all due respect give this to Twilight," Stazn said, handing over a document. "Let's talk fun!"
Discord smiled, he thought the first stallion was smart. She was a genius compared to him, "What are you thinking?"
"I was thinking you could talk to Discord for me. I hear you're very close, I want you to get him to agree to plan all holiday events for two years. He can use all the magic he wants to, all the chaos. So long as no pony gets hurt. I also want him to do my birthday. I'd think he'd like doing that. You're invited to tag along to princesses if you so wish." Stazn smiled, she was going to take a vacation and make Discord deal with all the hard work.
"Deal!" Discord said almost a little too enthusiastically. He got to use his chaos magic however he wanted. Ponies would enjoy it, he would enjoy it. It was a win-win situation.
"Fantastic, the first celebration is in two months. We can meet again in two weeks and talk about the details." She said waving a hoof towards luna and discord "see ya then!"
Discord looked back at luna and thought to himself, I'm definitely doing that one! Negotiations were so much fun! Especially when you could make it fun. The last dignitary, one from New Pegasus entered the room, a unicorn stallion with a cutie mark that was a spatula on fire. He smiled to himself, he thought long and hard about what he wanted from Discord. Would he give it to him, who knew? It was worth a shot.
“My name is Tartarus Kitchen. I am in charge of the chef's guild, run my restaurant, help run other restaurants, among other things. I am one busy stallion you see and that's what brings me here.” He smiled his original plan was to get some extra funding so he could hire some help but things have changed now.
“I’d like a duplicate of myself, the ability to slow down time and when I touch an ingredient it’ll never run out. It’ll just go on forever.” He looked up at discord and smiled “I’d also love to cook with things that aren’t edible. Only at my restaurant could you eat everyday objects.”
Oh, Discord liked this stallion, Tartarus was one bold pony. He thought about all the potential chaos that would ensue from a restaurant that fed ponies things like books. Though it could use more chaos, “all restaurants within a certain radius to yours and the ones your control is now eatable. In fact, everything within that radius is, even the ponies who enter it. No worries, anything eaten will automatically come back. Discord also gets to leave whenever he gets too bored and the menu will be random.”
“Sounds good to me, Celestia.” Tartarus said bowing at discord “we’ll talk details in the next couple of weeks.”
Luna watched as Tartarus left “Well sister, it's about time. Discord will be here in a couple of minutes.”
Author's Note
I tried my hand at a comedy. I have been writing to many scary stories time for some funny stuff.
Edit: I worked together with a friend to make the oc's in this story just for the fun of it.
Celestia teleported herself straight to Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Luckily they were already hanging out together when she showed up. It was pranking time and she knew they would love to join her. She also could use their help as she didn’t know much about causing chaos.
“Celestia?” Rainbow Dash asked looking up at the princess, “what are you doing here?”
“Discord. I’m Discord.” Celestia said, pointing a hoof at herself. “Obviously.”
A knowing look came over Pinkie Pie’s face. Celestia had hoped the mare would figure out what was going on and help her convince Rainbow to play along. Pinkie Pie had her abnormal sense and Celestia planned to use that to her advantage to gain an ally in her battle to not break character.
“OOOOOO YOU’RE ‘DISCORD,’” Pinkie said, air quoting the word Discord with her hooves.
“That I am. Wanna play some pranks with me? I need something to do until tea with Fluttershy!” Celestia said, her smile growing more mischievous by the minute.
Rainbow was very confused but having seen Pinkie just go with it she decided to do the same. Rainbow had learned not to question Pinkie situations too hard and to just roll with it. Plus she was kinda excited for the pranks. “Ight who first?”
Pinkie pie took a pie out of her mane, “I say we go pie some random ponies.”
Celestia smiled “Hiz-I mean YAY! Let's go pie ponies.” She said that was a close one she almost said Hizza. Something discord never said, she wondered if that would count as breaking character. As she pondered she teleported all three of them right into the middle of Ponyville. Celestia watched with amusement as everypony stopped what they were doing to stare at them. EH, who cares about the technicalities, Discord sure wouldn’t so neither would she. Celestia turned to Pinke, “Pinkie what pie flavor is this?”
“Well, I think it might be-”
“PIE FLAVORED” She screamed, throwing the pie right into Pinkie's face. She got her own teammate, definitely unexpected chaos.
“REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED IN A TIN!” Pinkie answered, throwing a pie into Celestia's face.
Celestia hovered more pies in the air, where did she get them? Who knew? Who cares? She raised them high above ponies heads and let them fall. “It’s raining pie, Hallelujah, it's raining pie!” She sang as she watched the pies rain down on random ponies.
Rainbow picked up two pies that weren't splattered on the ground and threw them square in the face of Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “hahahha, you got something on your face.”
The Cakes both picked up pies from behind them and threw them at Rainbow. It didn't take long for all of civilization to crumble into anarchy. Pies flew through the air from all sides. No pony was safe, it was a total warzone and in the middle of it all were three pranksters hiding behind a building.
Celestia turned to her companions and realized she had no idea what to do next. How do you add chaos to chaos to make it more chaotic? She thought as she racked her brain for an answer, being Discord was harder then she thought. BEING DISCORD WAS HARDER THEN SHE THOUGHT. She teleported all the pies out of the sky and onto the ground. She turned toward Pinkie. Please, she thought, please help me do this. “Why Discord, why did you start this fight?”
Pinkie Pie looked at Celestia with confusion, “but you started the fight.”
“Yes, and so did you Discord.” She said smiling at Pinkie Pie. Come on, she thought, pick up the hint.
Pinkie Pie smiled, “Of course! Discord. Because I, also Discord, just can’t resist chaos.”
Celestia smiled at Pinkie, thankful for her odd ability, “Don’t you think there should be more of us, Discord. To cause more chaos and to enjoy it.”
Pinkie Pie smiled “could always use more Discord, there really is never enough. He’s a fan favorite, more screen time for Discord!”
Celestia was a bit confused by this statement but she just rolled with it. She picked up a nearby vase and approached Rainbow Dash. “You are no longer Rainbow Dash.” She said placing the random object on each of her shoulders as if knighting her “You are now Discord, Lord of Chaos.”
Rainbow Dash looked up at Celestia then over to Pinkie Pie who sported a face of pure malice.
“You don’t want a Discord Punishment Party, do you?” Pinkie asked.
Rainbow Dash felt shivers go up her spine, she did not want to find out what that was. “I’m Discord. So nice to meet you Discord,” Eh, who could it hurt in the end? Just roll with it, she thought to herself.
Celestia and Pinkie Pie smiled. Celestia hovered over a flower and gave it to what used to be Rainbow Dash. Then she hovered over a random street sign and gave it to what used to be Pinkie Pie. “This world needs more of myself, always has. Go make more Discords, and have them make chaos. If not bring them here for a Discord Punishment Party.”
Rainbow Dash flew backward down the street and to a crowd of ponies still talking about the pie incident while pinkie pie rolled like a bowling ball towards a different crowd of ponies eating up any pies they could find. Celestia smiled to herself as she sat on a table and ate the lunch she packed for herself off a chair. The chaos HAD to be from Discord and they were technically Discord now, so they could cause chaos. She wondered if he’d be proud or upset that she took advantage of this loophole.
Celestia smiled as she watched more and more ponies pretend to be Discord. Soon everypony was being their version of chaos. She watched as shop owners disorganized their shops haphazardly, as the Cakes baked fruit instead of sweets, ponies walked in reverse, ponies flew in reverse, some ponies just trotted in place never really going anywhere. Some of the pegasi were forming diamonds out of the clouds in the sky. Some of the clouds rained, some of the clouds snowed and some of the clouds were just clouds. Everypony started wearing clashing clothes that would make Rarity faint on the spot and Mayor Mare spoke only in reverse. Yes, this will do nicely she thought to herself.
She took one last bite of her sandwich and trotted backward, out to the middle of the square. There stood Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash guarding a lone pony. Lyra Heartstring. She took a deep breath and closed her mouth. Hidden behind a shrub was a box filled to the brim with sandwiches. She teleported one into her mouth as discreetly as possible. Then she pretended to cough it up when she began to speak. “I…. ack...OOO Sandwich!” She said eating the sandwich that just came out of her mouth.
Ponies mouths dropped in surprise, how? How did she do that? “Sorry.” She said “this version of Discord has a rare disease called ithrowupits allotist sandwiches. Very rare, tragic end, eventually I'll become a pickle. Can’t avoid it.” She said trying to sound sad, “but no worries I've come to terms with it.” “ACK!” She ended her sentence by coughing up and eating another sandwich. “Why did you bring her to me?”
“She is a non-believer, she is a pony and not Discord like the rest of us.” Pinkie said, approving nods came from the Discords behind her. “It’s time for a Discord Punishment Party!”
Celestia had to improvise; she wasn’t sure what that was. She drew a circle in the dirt and put Lyra in the center of it. She teleported a nearby bell to herself and all the other Discords surrounding her. She rang the bell and said “CHAOS!” She rang it again, then yelled “CHAOS!” Soon her fellow Discords joined her, they all rang bells and yelled out of sink. As soon as they joined her she stopped and yelled over the crowd. “This can stop at any time. All you have to do is agree to be Discord. You won’t get into any trouble. This discord will make sure of it.”
Lyra put her hooves up to her ears but it didn't help muffle the annoying sounds of out of sink yelling and ringing, “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!” She yelled. “I’m Discord.”
Celestia smiled and silenced the bells, “let that be a lesson to all of you. Now go out and cause chaos!”
Lyra got up and moonwalked away from the group to cause some mayhem. She thought to herself that she better not get in trouble like Discord promised.
Celestia looked up at the sky as she saw how far the sun had moved, Twilight now moved it for her so she lost track of time easily. “OH NO! I’m late for tea.” She said teleporting straight to Fluttershy's
A poor unsuspecting Fluttershy flew around her cottage giving her furry friends some food. It is about 2:40, time for tea with Discord. Actually, way passed it, he was never this late and she was beginning to worry about him. She was taken by surprise when not the normal sound occurred but a teleportation sound. She turned around and almost dropped her plate filled with cucumber sandwiches with no crusts.
“Princess Celestia??” She squealed, what was she doing here? Had Fluttershy upset her in some way?
“No, it's Discord!" She, said as she pated Fluttershy on the shoulder.
Uhhhh…” Fluttershy trailed off. Was it him?
“No worries my dear Fluttershy. I've come for tea and a quick chat. I have something special planned today!” Celestia said waving her hooves through the air, trying to be overdramatic.
“Clearly," Fluttershy said, looking at Celestia was this her Discord pretending to be Celestia pretending to be Discord? Or was it actually Celestia pretending to be Discord?. She felt her head ache with confusion, and her anxiety grew as she put down the cucumber sandwiches on her table.
“I have no idea what that could mean. It's really me. I don't know why you would think otherwise" ‘Discord’ looked around the room to a pile of neatly stacked books and pushed it over with her hooves "ACK” she began as she coughed up and ate her last sandwich. “See chaotic," she said with a grin.
Fluttershy raised her eyebrow; that was pretty chaotic but something just felt off. She decided to test him out she would know best.“Have a sandwich and some tea," she said pointing to the seat as she watched discord fly backward to the chair that action was sort of like him. She watched him carefully noticing that he didn't touch the crusts, he always ate the crusts.
“Delicious Fluttershy, truly delicious," Celestia said honestly.
Fluttershy watched him take a sip of tea, since when did he sip tea? He usually ate the cup or drank the glass.
Celestia saw the suspicion in Fluttershy's eyes grow, she was catching on to the situation. Fluttershy knew the real Discord very well. "So how was your day? Tell me all about it!" She said hoping that it would take Fluttershy's mind off of the situation.
Fluttershy just agreed inside her head to play along. She would eventually find out what he was up to, she accepted her fate. “I was on my way to the market and there was this odd-looking stallion with a top hat and a cane. I think he was a dancer. He kept swirling around a pole saying 'singing in the rain' it was odd. I mean who just breaks out into song randomly like that and in public, also it wasn't raining. It didn't make much sense. Then at the market, I couldn't find anything because all the vendors' stalls were so disorginized. I was too shy to ask for help so I just left and went back home. On my way back home I found a randomly smashed pie, it was very odd.”
Celestia, I mean discord, looked over to the wall and saw it was a few minutes past three. It was showtime. “Yawwwwn that sounds so orderly. Gosh, order is the worst. Ima takes over Equestria because order sucks so much," she said as she poofed away from Fluttershy. Tea with her was actually pleasant and she could tell why Discord spent so much time with her. Maybe she would forgive Celestia later and also Discord.
Fluttershy looked at the blank spot that used to contain 'Discord' , dumbfounded. "I think...I should go get Twilight." She said flying up above her chair and towards the door.
Author's Note
I finished this chapter early! I hope you liked this chapter and what I did with Celestia. The ending is next week (maybe even earlier) be ready it is super stupid and silly. Sort of like this chapter. The ending is also unexpected.
Author's Note
I just wanted to take a moment and remind everyone that this is T for Teen for a reason and this chapter contains profanity and lewd jokes.
I hope you like the ending it was just stupid at the rest of this story. I actually wrote an alternate ending and decided it was too stupid to put in (I'll add it if people end up liking it) here it is if you wish to read it:
Discord smiled “I can NOT wait.”
"As for my second whim...." luna started but was interrupted by discord.
"Oh. Look at you go, already causing chaos with your whims. Do tell!" Discord said excitedly for whatever was to happen next.
Luna smiled maliciously, "I think I'd love to hear how Celestia would bang chaos in as much excruciating detail as possible. Oh, and you have to sing it annnddd...." she took a moment to think about something particular. "Discord I want you to make the hat I'm thinking of in real life. Temporally read my mind if you have to."
Discord snapped up a hat and laughed it was a pink cap that read 'I'm a big dumb bimbo.' He put it on Celestia and sat next to luna. Snapping up some popcorn. "Well, you heard your sister. Sing us a porn."
Celestia blushed with embarrassment and anger "I hate you both."
Canterlot At Three
Celestia teleported right into the throne room. The guards just stared at her where had she been all day? They needed her earlier. “Celestia!" They shouted in unison causing the throne doors to be thrown open so more guards could gather
“Worry not!" Discord said from his temporary throne "I will talk to ‘Discord’ myself!" He said flying down meeting Celestia halfway.
“It is I, lord of chaos, I am tired of your orderly ways. I will take over Equestria." Celestia announced to the room waving her hooves in the air wildly.
The devastated looks on all the guards cause them all to hitch their breath in sink. Their faces saying 'what the hell did we just witness' and ‘why, why is this happening?’
“You will rue the day you messed with me, the lord of chaos," she said lifting into the air. "Fear me!" She shouted, a little too high on all the fun she was having. She broke all the windows, and lite herself and the curtains up into flames,
Discord hid a smirk, she was having fun being him. They would have to do this again! "Not under my watch, I'll just have to call the elements you had your chance. You had many!" Discord looked up towards Celestia, "I am disappointed in you, Discord." He said holding his breath trying not to quake from laughter.
"Call them, do it. CHUMP!" Celestia yelled.
Discord snapped a letter out of thin air and started dictating it " Dear Twilight my loyal student.." he trailed off forcing his laughs down. "It is unfortunate news but Discord has betrayed us for the last time. Come immediately. Truly yours' Celestia." He said signing her name perfectly.
The three of them had their cheeks puffed out red in the face. They looked ridiculous and all the guards could do was play along in the hope's they would still have a job after all this. Suddenly there was a distinct teleporting sound. Fluttershy was going to tell twilight what was happening but they all got the summon just before she could explain. The main six arrived and most of them were confused. All but Pinkie Pie, who knew exactly what was happening. They looked around noticing broken glass, curtains on fire, Celestia on fire, and three entities before them. They looked to be holding back laughter.
“That's my cue." Discord said, turning towards twilight. "TWILIGHT," He said with a squeak to conceal laughter and put his paw on her. "Twilight. Discord has betrayed us once again you have to turn him to stone." He said pointing a claw to a burning Celestia, "I know it's hard but you have to do the right thing." He managed to choke out.
Twilight gaped in awe at the scene unfolding before her. "Um Discord.." she began but she was interrupted.
“I'm up here. I will rain chaos down upon you. You shall never know order again. In fact, I love chaos so much ima bang it!" She said humping the air in a lewd manner.
Twilight watched in abject horror as Celestia banged the air and Discord crumpled into the ground. Tears forming in his eyes from the strain of not laughing. What the hell was happening here, was the question that ran through the main six's heads.
Discord looked back up from the ground "of course you would you’re nothing but...A MONSTER." He managed to squeak out.
Luna was quaking and tears fell from her eyes from not laughing, but it ended up working in her favor. "I'm so disappointed in you Discord," she said, pointing a hoof up at her own sister. "I thought we could finally trust you."
“You can't trust a lean mean chaos fucking machine now, can you?" Celestia said, Luna and Discord looked up at her from the floor pretty much crying, their stomachs started to hurt badly from all the contained laughter.
“No. You definitely can't!" Luna squeaked out as she looked over at Discord who was trying his best to compose himself
"I'll just have to turn you into stone myself!" Discord said now looking over at the main six, "you were his friend so I wouldn't dare burden you with this task." he said as he produced some light and smoke.
Celestia quickly went into position, freezing in place a horrified expression on her face. The smoke cleared from the main six eyes. They watch the scene in front of them unfold. I mean what were they supposed to do?
Discord turned to Twilight "I'm so sorry about Discord, Twilight. But as a princess.." he trailed off coughing off some laughs. "You have to make hard decisions. You should bear this in mind." He managed to say quaking in place, "being ruler means making hard decisions one day he’ll see what friendship really is and grow to love it...take it from your old mentor." He squeaked out the rest of his sentence. Luna could be seen breathing deeply to calm herself down but Celestia kept herself together just fine.
The plan from here was for Celestia to stay stone and when night fell and morning rose. Everything would go back to what it was yesterday. To claim that they were themselves the whole time and Discord was back to being good. But see what they hadn't planned on was Luna. She had fun making chaos in those meetings with Discord and she wanted to win the extra bet they made earlier. See if she was the last to break character they’d have to serve her every whim. She took a breath and composed herself. “And now I will make a hard decision today.”
Discord looked over to her “Oh?” He went along with it of course. Whatever she had planned was bound to be interesting.
Luna took Discords claw in her hoof and with a deep breath, she pulled her act together. “Celestia I think we should tell everypony.”
“Tell them what sis-”
“Lover, I am your lover, from the same mother.” She flew up into the air a tiny bit. “We should grab your daughter the one you had out of wedlock with Sombra and run away together.”
Discord jaw dropped and he dug his claws into his sides, he was in pain. He wanted to laugh so badly. This was unexpected; he could see the anger start to rise in Celestia's face. She always had a bad time controlling her temper, then he realized just what Luna was doing. “Oh, that? Well, I guess it is time they all knew. I'm sure every creature already knew.” Discord choked out. He could see Celestia getting angrier by the second which only made him want to laugh harder “there's a cabin in the woods we could retire to...”
“We just have to remember what they say, it will be our anthem, our oath, our motivation to move forward. It will remind us of our love for one another, ” Luna drew in a slow breath. She would win, she knew it, but it would be at a cost.
“Oh? What do they say? I have forgotten.” Discord said knowing whatever Luna had planned to say would get them both to crack. He could not wait to find out what it was.
Luna took a few moments to compose herself and in all seriousness. She spoke, “incest is wincest.”
All hell broke loose as Celestia, the real one, started yelling at her sister “WHY? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?” She screamed.
Discord crumpled into a ball on the floor he was practically sob-laughing. It sounded like he was choking. “I ….can’t….i can’t…..can’t….believe!” He choked out between bouts of painful laughter. This was not the direction he expected this story to go, but it did.
Luna looked down at the fallen Discord and Celestia; she had won the battle and the war. “I believe this means I won since both of you cracked.”
A blush came to Celestia's face as she realized what Luna planned “at what cost?” She glared at her sister.
Luna smiled at her very angry sister, and she said, “you never said it HAD to be laughter to break you both!”
“What in the hay just happened?" Applejack asked the question that was burning on everyone's minds.
Celestia managed to calm down just enough to explain. "The plan was simple. I excused you, Twilight, from duty so this could happen. Then Discord and I switched places without switching appearances. We just told people we were each other. Discord did some of my duties, I caused chaos and had tea with Fluttershy. Then I took over Equestria and then I got turned into stone." She said as she put the fires out and fixed the windows, she didn’t leave behind a single trace. "I wanted to cause a little chaos before I left."
“More than just a little I say, you actually tried. You can be me any day you wish!" Discord said with a snort. With Fluttershy's help he was able to calm down.
“I did not break character which means I won. The two of them have to serve my every whim for the next two weeks. It was an extra bonus bet we had going on.” Luna grinned with pride.
“We should do this every week!” Discord said excitedly.
“Then I say we gather to form a plan and take over Equestria again, that'll be my first whim. To plan for this again!” Luna hopped up and down happily. That statement caused the main sixs' eyes to roll in their heads. Would this become a thing?
Discord smiled “I can NOT wait.”
