The Coming of Celestia the Equestrian (A Planet of the Pantsless Pony People Prequel!)

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 3
Epilogue

Chapter 1

“Innkeeper! More ale!”

Celestia pounded her empty drinking-jack upon the table, hard enough to make the knife-scarred, wine-stained timbers shake. She had laid claim to the largest table in the common room, at which point she had immediately invited the rest of the nameless road-house's customers to drink with her. It was rare for a pegasus or unicorn to pass through the remote village-- but a woman with the telltale wings and horn of both was simply unheard of. Still, between Celestia's sunny disposition and the copious amounts of alcohol sloshed about, the peasantry's trepidations faded away.

Even without her alicorn heritage, Celestia would still draw attention to herself. Taller than even the burliest of earth ponies, her snow-white coat did little to hide the toned lines of her musculature. Her humble brown tunic was too small for her by several degrees-- Celestia had already ripped off the sleeves to give extra room for her battle-honed arms, though there was little to be done for the way her bust filled the front of the tunic, dangerously straining the v-shaped neckline. A broad belt around her waist held a plain but serviceable sword in its scabbard, and also served to cinch Celestia's tunic in tighter to highlight the powerful curve of her frame. Cord-weaved bracelets decorated her thick wrists, bearing various small feathers, beastly fangs, and other small trophies from monsters she'd defeated. Everything about her, from the flowing mass of her unruly mane, to the confident stride of her hooves, proclaimed Celestia to be a warrior born, a creature of power.

And appetite.

The innkeeper hauled a fresh keg over, carefully weaving his way through the chairs and tables with the heavy barrel. He was young for the job, having inherited the inn from his parents, but he kept to his job with dogged determination, even as a winged amazon held impromptu court in the middle of the room.

“Here, let me help you--” Celestia neatly picked the keg up with one hand and effortlessly hefted it onto the table. She set the keg down with a heavy thud, then set about pouring herself a fresh drink. “This should last us a little while longer, ay lads?” The amazon raised her jack, and the other ponies at the table cheered.

“Thank you?” The innkeeper wiped his hands off on his apron, nervous. “But, ah-- Miss? As much as I appreciate the business, there's still the matter of, ah ... compensation.”

“Of course!” Celestia downed a gulp of ale, then wiped her muzzle with the back of her hand. “You've been nothing but a gracious host. It will be my pleasure to--” she trailed off as she reached down to her belt, feeling around for something that wasn't there.

“To ... what?” The innkeeper said, as politely as he could.

“You'll get paid, don't worry.” Celestia huffed, and an embarrassed, rosy blush came to fill her ivory cheeks. “It's just that ... my sister's the one with the money. She says she has to hang onto it 'cause I'm irresponsible. Can you believe that?”

“You don't say.” The Innkeeper said, deadpan. “And when is she supposed to get here?”

“Luna said she'd meet me here-- she's off chasing down--” Celestia paused, then shook her head. “Luna's off somewhere else.” She noted. “But she'll be good for it, I swear.”

“I've heard that before.” The innkeeper crossed his arms over his chest.

“Or ... “ Celestia rubbed at her chin as she sized up the innkeeper. He was handsome enough, in his own way, with his broad shoulders and sandy-colored mane. Slowly, her lips turned up in a smile. “We might be able to think of a ... different means of compensation.”

“What are you-- mmfm!” The innkeeper's question trailed off as Celestia grabbed him by the apron and pulled him in for a lusty kiss, eliciting another round of cheers from the inn's other patrons.

Celestia finally let him come up for air, then leaned in to touch the tip of her nose against his. She kept her fistful of the innkeeper's apron, holding him in place. “Does that sound fun to you?”

“I ... oh ... wow.” The innkeeper blinked. “That ... wasn't what I expected.”

“You haven't seen anything yet.” Celestia winked. “Now then, may I?” she asked, surprisingly polite.

The innkeeper smiled. Nodded. Then let out another cry of surprise as Celestia hoisted him up off of his hooves, and deposited him to sit on the table in front of her, just as she'd done with the get of beer. Fabric tore as the lusty amazon pulled the innkeeper's apron away, and then again as she made short work of the front of his trousers. A heavy cock slipped free, already half-firm. “Oooh.” Celestia wet her lips in anticipation, staring at the innkeeper's member. “How'd you even hide this?”

“Here?” The innkeeper said, glancing around at his patrons-- who, even with several pints apiece within them, stared on in similar states of shock as they watched the amazonian woman prepare to ravish their host.

“Why not?” Celestia didn't take her eyes off the innkeeper's member as she closed her fingers around it, coaxing him to full hardness with just a few passes of her surprisingly gentle hand. The innkeeper squeaked out an affirmative-sounding reply, and Celestia just smiled. She parted her lips and took the head of his cock between them, curling her warm, wet tongue around it. Her hand slid downward, sword-calloused fingers tracing, cradling the innkeeper's balls as Celestia took more of his length into her muzzle. She suckled playfully, eagerly, pleasuring her new lover. The innkeeper gasped aloud, body tensing-- which Celestia took as her signal to pull off of him with a wet, lewd sound.

“Not yet.” She cooed, standing up to her full, imposing height, splaying her wings out behind her. She scooped up a mug of ale, drained it in a single gulp, and tossed the empty over her shoulder. As the wooden mug clattered on the floorboards, Celestia's hands went to her swordbelt, unfastening it. Her still sheathed sword hit the ground; a moment later, her thin tunic followed.

Under normal circumstances, Celestia was nothing short of impressive. Nude, she was glorious. With the humble trappings of the mundane discarded, the winged woman's nigh-godly nature shone through. Every inch of her was a study in perfection, from the curve of her shoulder to the dip of her waist to the very tips of her hooves. Her heavy, pink-capped tits hung proudly from her chest, and a glance between Celestia's thighs revealed the heated, swollen lips of her pussy. The very scent of her wafted through the inn, musky and intoxicating, enough to set Celestia's impromptu audience to drooling.

A sweep of Celestia's powerful arm cleared a stretch of the table, and a gentle push of her fingertips eased the innkeeper onto his back, leaving his hard, needy cock jutting upward. Celestia savored the sight for a moment, then stepped up onto the table in a single, long-legged stride. She straddled the innkeeper, settling down on her knees before she eased herself downward, guiding him into her soaking, needy sex. The ivory-winged warrior shuddered as the innkeeper filled her, but she kept on lowering her hips until his cock was hilted inside her pussy. Celestia savored the feeling for a long moment before she started working herself up and down, eagerly fucking the innkeeper. She bounced up and down and each movement sent her tits to jiggling. Celestia braced one hand on the innkeeper's chest, smiling down at him with shining, playful eyes as she worked her slick, impossibly hot pussy over his cock.

Overwhelmed by the pleasure, the innkeeper didn't last long. He gasped and panted with ragged breaths until his every muscle tensed beneath Celestia's body. The innkeeper arced his back, shoulders pressing against the table as he pushed his hips upward, sliding himself deeper into Celestia's pussy. He let himself go inside of her, flooding the amazon's pussy with his hot seed. Celestia laughed as he came, delighting in the feel of another pony climaxing beneath her. Panting, the innkeeper rode out the last of his orgasm, then collapsed to the table in a limp, nerveless heap.

Celestia leaned down, ample breasts pillowing against his chest as she gleaned another brief, affectionate kiss from his lips before eliciting a high-pitched groan from the lucky colt with another lewd roll of her hips. She finally showed mercy, swinging her leg up and over his body as she slid the innkeeper's cock out of her dripping, sticky pussy.

The nude warrior clasped her hands above her head and stretched her long body out, shamelessly showing herself off for the stunned earth ponies still watching. Celestia rolled her neck, then grabbed a discarded mug from the floor and once again filled it up with crisp, refreshing ale from the keg. It was only once she had taken a long drink that she turned her attention to the other ponies present.

“You know,” Celestia said, conversationally, “I don't quite think I've worked my tab off yet.” And with that, Celestia bent at the waist, resting her elbows on the table. She stood with her hooves at shoulder width, and hiked her multicolored tail upward to better reveal the rounded globes of her ass.

“Who's next?”

By morning, the inn looked like a battlefield. Naked, exhausted, and thoroughly satisfied ponies sprawled out on the tables and chairs-- at least those tables and chairs that hadn't broken under the force of Celestia's enthusiastic debauchery. The alicorn herself sprawled out near the hearth, with the innkeeper curled up on her right, and a green-mared mare (the innkeeper's wife? friend? sister?) on her left. Bit by bit, Celestia returned to consciousness, happily sated from the previous night's carousing.

Celestia perked her ears as she heard gentle footsteps pick their way across the inn. She opened her eyes, and sure enough, there was Luna, wearing her typical travel gear, hooded cloak, and disapproving expression.

“Again, sister?” Luna asked, glancing around at Celestia's 'handiwork.'

“It helps me relax.” Celestia huffed. She planted a gentle kiss on the innkeeper's forehead, then wriggled herself free from between the still-dozing ponies.

“Relax.” Luna said, deadpan.

“Oh, come off it. Like you don't enjoy a good lay every now and again. Don't think I don't remember what you and that zebra-witch got up to down south.”

“You still shouldn't conduct yourself like some common trollop.”

“Don't worry, Luna. I'd never fuck for money. That'd be too much like work.” Celestia laughed, then collected her swordbelt and tunic from where they'd been tossed in a corner, though she didn't bother putting either on.

“It's good to have principles.” Luna took a coin-heavy pouch out of her cloak and tossed it onto the innkeeper, who still slept the sleep of the pleasantly, thoroughly exhausted. “Now, clean yourself up.” Luna ran her eyes up and down Celestia's sticky, sweaty body. “We've a long way to go if we're going to find Clover the Clever.”

“If we're--” Celestia blinked. “You mean you found him?”

“My contact did, yes. Apparently, Clover the Clever is in the employ of Princess Platinum. Apparently he's already made quite a name for himself as an adviser. We should be able to find him quite easily, once we make it to the Princess' castle.”

Celestia perked her ears, and her smile grew wider and more giddy. “And once we find Clover--”

“--he may be able to tell us what happened to Starswirl.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Celestia tightened her grip around her scabbarded sword, and flared her wings.

“For you to get dressed, for the most part. Unless you'd like to meet Clover the Clever with dried ale all over your tits.”

“Don't tempt me.”

Chapter 2

“Halt, barbarians!”

Celestia and Luna stopped in front of the castle gates, staring at the half-dozen spearpoints leveled by the half-dozen castle guards barring the way.

“Barbarians?” Celestia looked to her sister. “Do we look like barbarians?”

“You do.” Luna shrugged. “Like from some isolated tribe that hasn't invented trousers yet.”

“Feh.” Celestia stuck her tongue out Luna. “Better those than some savages who haven't discovered humor.”

“In any case--” Luna turned her attention to the guards, almost as an afterthought. “We have come to see Clover the Clever. Please, take us to him.”

The mention of Clover's name set the guardsponies to murmuring amongst themselves. Finally, a guard with a white crest on his helmet to distinguish him from his blue-crested fellows cleared his throat. “You can't see Clover the Clever. So leave. Now.”

“And if we don't?” Celestia fanned her wings out and stepped forward. The guardsponies stepped back, mail clinking softly with the movement.

“It won't go well for you.” The officer drew himself up taller, and the horn jutting up through his plumed helmet began to glow faintly.

“Is that so?” Celestia cracked her knuckles.

“Sister.” Luna warned.

“What?”

“Remember why we came here.” Luna fell into step behind her sister, throwing back her cloak for easier movement. “So don't kill any of them. They're just doing their jobs.”

“Got it. No steel, then.” Celestia rolled her neck, then began to bounce on her hooves, readying herself. “Bet I take down more of them than you do!” And with that, she launched herself into battle, mane and wings billowing out behind her. Celestia caught a different spear-haft in each hand and pulled, otherworldly strength more than enough to unbalance the guardsponies on the opposite end. As they lurched forward, Celestia beat her wings and took to the air. The hem of her tunic fluttered as she lashed out with a pair of lightning-quick kicks, giving the two guards a scandalous view of pale flesh beneath before Celestia's hooves blotted out their field of vision. The two guards slammed into the closed castle gates, unconscious.

Celestia landed, then spun to face a third guard. He jabbed his spear at her, trying to make Celestia keep her distance, but the warrior-woman struck his spear-haft with the edge of her hand, snapping the oak like so much dry kindling. The guard stared at his broken polearm for a shocked moment before Celestia grabbed him by the breastplate, one armed, and flung him into another of his fellows. The two guards went down in a tangle of armored limbs, and Celestia laughed, triumphant.

“Ha! That's four! I win!”

Luna shook her head, dusting her hands off as the white-plumed officer and the last of his men crumpled to the ground at her hooves. “It's not a competition, sister. Especially since this one would have blasted you in the back with a binding spell, had I not intervened. Now, we'd better get moving before reinforcements come. The more skulls we crack, the less inclined Clover will be to help us.”

“Unless Platinum's holding him prisoner-- you heard what the guard said. We 'can't' see him. Bet he's in some dungeon.”

“Possibly. But there's only one way to find out.”

Princess Platinum's throne room primarily served as an extension of her ego. Where some rulers made it a point to project their wealth or martial prowess, Princess Platinum prided herself on her air of genteel elegance and beauty. The stone columns and vaulted ceilings were carefully designed to direct the eye to one point: Princess Platinum herself. She sat upon a wagon-sized heap of red silk cushions, draped in a velvet robe of royal purple. The robe was loosely tied, revealing a narrow 'v' of her delicate, alabaster coat. A simple circlet of her namesake adorned Princess Platinum's brow, matched with ornate bracelets around both of her thin wrists.

The rest of the throne room was just as opulent, fortunes worth of silk and jewels used to decorate every available surface. The opulence was denser the closer one got to Princess Platinum's dais, gradually growing less and less ornate, 'til the stretch of floor directly in front of the throne room's main doors was plain, unadorned marble.

Various courtiers in silken finery lounged along the sides of the room-- the most lavishly dressed (and thus most important) naturally seated closer to the princess. They passed the time in idle luxury, plinking away at master-carved instruments, or composing improvised poetry. There were guards in gilded mail, better suited for parades than battles. Then again, they never expected to draw their ceremonial blades. The throne room, more than any other place in the castle, was an oasis, a refuge from the inelegant chaos of the outside world.

Until Celestia kicked the door open.

“Who dares!?” Princess Platinum cried, teary eyes wide with shock. The rest of her courtiers cringed away from the sudden noise, hiding wherever they could.

“I dare!” Celestia shot a warning glance at Princess Platinum's guards, who wisely kept their distance. Luna slipped in behind her sister, calm and silent in contrast to Celestia's shouting-- and was all the more intimidating for it. “My name is Celestia, and I have come to speak with Clover the Clever. Release him, and we'll be on our way.”

“Release him?” Princess Platinum blinked, then sat up straighter on her pile of cushions. “What are you talking about?”

“Your guards said we couldn't talk to Clover. We disagreed. Now hand him over.” Celestia tossed back her voluminous mane.

“You fools.” Princess Platinum snapped. “I should have expected as much from a pair of uncouth barbarians. The reason you can't talk to Clover is because he isn't here.”

Celestia paused mid knuckle-crack. “Wait, what?”

“I shall try to use small words to get the meaning through your thick skull.” Princess Platinum huffed. “The stone-trolls have demanded a tribute of ponies, to sacrifice to their volcano-god, the Efreet.”

“And you just gave them to them?” Celestia said, aghast. “Why didn't you fight?”

“How? The stone-trolls are immune to unicorn magic, and Efreet can burn a pony to cinders with but a touch. Even if we called on Commander Hurricane's legion for aid, we'd be massacred.”

“So you send your subjects out to die?” Celestia clenched her calloused hands into fists.

“Clover volunteered!” Princess Platinum's voice cracked. She sniffed, and dabbed at the corner of her eye with the sleeve of her robe. “Clover said he had a plan. He wouldn't tell me what, only that he could fix things ... and that he wouldn't be coming back.”

“The hell with that!” Celestia pointed an accusatory finger at the princess. “You may be content to let ponies die needlessly, but I'm not. Tell us where Clover went, and we'll bring him back. We'll bring all the ponies back, and deal with your troll problem while we're at it.”

“If you so badly wish to throw your lives away, I shan't stop you. The stone-trolls dwell in the depths of Spiteskull Mountain-- an ugly, hideous place. What makes you think you can survive a journey there, where countless other ponies have perished?”

Celestia smirked. “Because we're not other ponies.”

“There they are.” Luna waved Celestia over, and the two of them peered over the edge of the boulder they took refuge behind. It had been a hard day's flight to Spiteskull Mountain, and harder work still to prowl through its labyrinthine tunnels unnoticed. By the time they made it to the craterlike central cavern, both of their swords dripped with troll-blood from the sentries they'd ambushed unawares.

Celestia followed Luna's gaze to the line of shackled unicorns on the other side of the cavern. They were naked but for their chains-- either stripped by their captors, or having undressed for some relief from the hellish heat bubbling up from the great red rift at the center of the cavern. Aside from a couple of bored-looking guards, the rest of the stone trolls paid the prisoners no heed. Most of the brutish, lumpen creatures were arrayed in a loose mob, chanting in some dark, forgotten tongue. After each blasphemous verse, a fresh rumble echoed from deep within the crevasse as Efreet woke from his slumber.

“Which one's Clover?” Celestia murmured.

“I can't tell at this distance.”

“Fine then. That just means we'll have to rescue all of them.” Luna tightened her grip around her sword. “You go for the captives while I distract the trolls.”

“Right.” Luna nodded. “But be careful, sister.”

“Not making any promises.” Celestia winked, then beat her wings, taking to the air. She flew a lazy circle around the chamber, then finally came to a hover directly above the red-glowing crevasse. The stone trolls stopped their chanting, staring dumbly up at the avenging angel that had seemingly arrived from nowhere.

“Ho there!” Celestia said, cheery. She landed upon a stone altar in front of the crevasse, noting the scorched-red stains upon the granite. “Can any of you louts point me at the beer? It's damned hot in here. Makes a girl thirsty, you know.”

The trolls stared at her for a long moment, until one of them shook himself from his shocked stupor. With a snarl, he lunged for the winged mare, throttling claws extended. Celestia slashed the troll's head from his shoulders in a single stroke, then fell upon the rest of the howling, bestial mob. The lumbering trolls were even taller than she was, though Celestia had no problem in matching, overpowering their strength. Her blade danced in deadly patterns: hewing limbs, piercing bellies, cleaving skulls.

As Celestia worked her deadly trade, Luna kept to the shadows, circling around until she came to the prisoners. She silently, efficiently dispatched the few stone trolls left guarding them, then hacked through the main lead-chain with a single stroke of her sword.

A slim unicorn with a purplish streak in his mane stepped forward. “What are you doing?”

“Rescuing you.” Luna noted, and cut through another length of chain. “Clover the Clever, I presume?”

“You're ruining everything! They've already woken Efreet-- and without a sacrifice waiting for him, he'll be angry-- unstoppable! You've got to throw me in the rift.” Clover said.

“Are you really so eager to throw your life--” Luna trailed off as she saw the charm hanging around Clover's neck, the humble item being the only thing he wore. “That's a windigo call, isn't it? You're going to try to freeze the Efreet.”

Clover blinked. “How did you know?”

“You're not the only one who studied under Starswirl the Bearded.” Luna unfurled her wings from beneath her cloak.

“That means--” Clover sputtered, eyes flitting from Luna's horn, to her wings, then back to her face. “That means you're--”

“Uniquely qualified to handle this.” Luna allowed herself a wry grin. “In a manner that doesn't involve throwing yourself down the mouth of an angry volcano god.”

As Luna spoke, the cavern rumbled once again. A clawed hand, the size of a house and wrought from smoke and fire, reached over the edge of the rift, fingers clutching the rim. A second hand appeared, and soon the Efreet pulled itself fully into the chamber. The enormous creature glowed hellishly, fire leaking out from cracks in its blazing red skin. The Efreet's bull-like horns were wide enough to scrape the sides of the cavern as it turned its head, and molten slag dripped from its fanged jaws.

“Get behind me.” Luna pushed Clover towards the way she'd come in. “We need to get all these ponies out of here.”

“But the Efreet--”

“Is no match for my sister. Trust me.”

By the time the Efreet had clawed its way out of the crevasse, the stone trolls were in full rout, with the braver laying dead at Celestia's hooves, and the more prudent already escaping into side-tunnels. Celestia herself turned to face the enormous fire-beast, holding her sword in both hands in a ready stance.

The Efreet flicked a finger, and engulfed her in a pillar of fire.

“No!” Clover lunged forward, only to be caught by Luna's strong arm. “Let me go, damn you! There's still time-- I might still be able to--”

“Watch.” Luna said.

The smoke cleared.

Celestia laughed.

The Efreet's fire had burned her clothing to ashes, but the woman underneath was unharmed. Smoke wafted away from the last remnants of her tunic, revealing soft curves and hard muscle alike. Celestia's sword, notably, remained intact.

“Hah!” Celestia strode forward, uncaring about her nudity-- or the Efreet's power, for that matter. “Your fires pale in comparison to those of the sun, little salamander. But!” She swung her sword up to point at the Efreet's heart. “I shall show you mercy. If you and your trolls swear never to harm a pony ever again, then I shall let you live.”

The Efreet roared in reply, and swung a massive fist at the winged woman.

“I thought you'd say that.” Celestia sprung to the air, nimbly dodging the clumsy swipe. More blinding light poured off of her as she streaked forward, sword-first. Fast as sunlight, she plunged into the Efreet's chest, then burst out of his back in an explosion of molten gore. The fire-beast looked down at the alicorn-sized hole in his chest, then glanced up just in time to see Celestia glide in front of him again, sword in one hand, a melon-sized ruby in the other: the Efreet's heart.

“You had your chance.” Celestia made it a point to meet the Efreet's eyes, watching the hellish fire within dim. Moments later, the Efreet crumpled in on itself, its massive body imploding to nothing more than wispy ash.

With the Efreet ended, Celestia glided gently down to the cavern floor once more, and her aura of power faded away. Clover and the other unicorns gawked at the nude demigoddess, while Luna just rolled her eyes as she sheathed her own sword.

“Right!” Celestia sank the point of her longsword into the floor of the cavern and leaned against the crossbars of the hilt. “Which one of you is Clover the Clever?”

Chapter 4

When Commander Hurricane kicked the door in, Clover the Clever was the first to wake up.

“Uh, this isn't as bad as it looks!” he said, mostly by reflex.

Incidentally enough, Clover was right. Finally sated after her epic debauch, Celestia sprawled out on a pile of cushions, nude and slumbering. The large swells of Celestia's chest rose up and down with each dozing breath, in a sight near hypnotic to watch. Princess Platinum nestled in against the amazonian demigoddess' side, likewise happily asleep. The rest of the unicorn court were arrayed throughout the throne room, curled up together in happy pairs or trios. Warm afternoon sunlight poured in through the open windows, giving the whole tableau the air of a fine painting, rather than the aftermath of a days-long orgy.

Celestia's snoring, however, was something that could never be captured in any portrait.

“Seize her!” Commander Hurricane pointed her sword at the sleeping Celestia.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you.” Luna noted, quite calm despite the number of spears pointed at her.

Undaunted, four of Hurricane's bravest sky-knights strode past the waking, blushing unicorn court, bearing down on Celestia. Commander Hurricane herself grabbed Princess Platinum around the waist and yanked her away from Celestia's side (much to the unicorn Princess' shock and dismay).

“Huhwha?” Celestia blinked sleep from her eyes, just in time to see the pegasus quartet bear down on her. The shine of polished steel made Celestia's eyes go wide, and she immediately sprang to her hooves, propelling herself upward with a stroke of her mighty wings, faster than the sky-knights could follow.

Celestia grabbed the closest pegasus by his wrist and twisted, forcing him to drop his sword. Celestia caught the falling blade with her free hand, just in time to parry a thrust from the second sky-knight, then hurled the pegasus in her grip out the open window. She kicked the third sky knight in the chest hard enough to make him reel into the fourth, all in the span of a few heartbeats.

The second sky-knight proved both his skill and his bravery; he parried five strokes of Celestia's sword before she disarmed him. This done, she shoved him aside, and leveled her stolen sword at Commander Hurricane. “Don't worry, Princess! I'll save you!”

Commander Hurricane blinked. “What are you talking about? I'm the one saving her! From you!”

“If I needed a rescuing from either of you, I'd say so.” Princess Platinum's horn glowed, and she soon blinked out of Commander Hurricane's grasp, reappearing on the other side of the room. Despite her nudity, she still stood proud and commanding, as a proper sovereign would. “Now! If you brutes would stop trying to carve each other up, would someone politely explain to me just what in blazes is going on?”

“That's what I want to know!” Commander Hurricane said. “You invite some crazy barbarian into your court, let her kidnap you for days, and now she's ... uh ... ” The pegasus' cheeks flushed pink, as if she was now only realizing that both her opponent and the pony she'd come to save were stark naked. She sputtered, then went with the first word that came to mind. “Deflowered you!”

“Trust me, that's the one thing I didn't do to her.”

“Celestia.” Princess Platinum snapped.

“So, just throwing this out there, but why don't we try talking this out?” Clover used his telekinesis to pick up a pillow and hold it over his lap in a vain attempt at modesty. “Maybe have a nice conversation with less swords and more, uh ... clothing?”

“Personally, I'm fine like this.” Celestia said, but at least lowered the weapon.

“Of course you are, sister.”

After a little more wrangling and cajoling from both Luna and Clover the Clever, everypony in the throne room set aside their weapons. The lower-level guards and functionaries were shooed to elsewhere in the castle, leaving just a meeting between the two alicorns, Commander Hurricane, Princess Platinum, and Chancellor Puddinghead (who had been lurking at the rear of Commander Hurricane's group of guards, but finally stepped forward once it was clear that nopony was going to get stabbed), and their respective advisers.

Princess Platinum snapped her fingers, and her serving staff soon brought out a long, low-set table, and as well as a sumptuous afternoon tea. More servants draped a lush silk robe over her shoulders, though Princess Platinum didn't bother closing it too tightly. “Not like they haven't gotten an eyeful already.” She noted. Another fine robe was offered to Celestia, but she didn't bother.

And so, over dark tea and powdered pastry, Clover the Clever tried to avoid a diplomatic incident. Again. He laid out his account of recent events, highlighting Celestia's heroism while downplaying her hedonism.

“So you see, uh-- Princess Platinum was just showing her gratitude towards Celestia, for defeating the Efreet and freeing her people. Myself included.”

Private Posey and Smart Cookie nodded in agreement with their friend.

“She never showed me that kind of gratitude.” Commander Hurricane said.

“Not jealous, are you?” Celestia said, grinning. She glanced between Platinum and Hurricane. “Wait, are you two--”

“We are allies. Totally. Not like I'd ever fool around with a unicorn even if she smells nice and has great hair and--” Commander Hurricane paused. “Uh. Like I said, allies. And I don't even know how long that's going to last, with Princess Platinum laying on her back like a common--”

Princess Platinum coolly glared at the pegasus. “Choose your next words very carefully, Commander.”

Celestia, meanwhile, rolled her eyes. “I never knew a pegasus could be such a prude, Hurricane. You sound like an angry father trying to make an 'honest woman' out of his daughter by forcing her to get married. You might as well be pointing a pitchfork at me.”

“Actually, that's ... not a bad idea.” Clover rubbed at his chin.

“Pitchforks?” Commander Hurricane spoke up.

“I mean, it's ... unorthodox, but offering one's hand in marriage to somepony who's done a great service in to the kingdom is within the realm of tradition. Would that make this more ... respectable, Commander?”

“I ... uh, maybe?” Commander Hurricane said.

“Mmm. I suppose there's a certain elegance to the solution.” Princess Platinum bit her lower lip as she stole a surreptitious glance at the amazon sitting beside her. “Better Celestia than some title-hungry duke or baron.”

“Objection!” Chancellor Puddinghead said through a mouthful of pastry. “If Miss Wavy-Hair over there is strong enough to wreck up the Efreet, that means the unicorns will be more powerful than the other two tribes, and they'll start pushing us around!”

Celestia blinked. “I'd never do that.”

“You just beat up Hurricane's favorite guards!”

“They started it!” Celestia said.

“Say whatever you want, but I'm claiming the blue one for the Earth Ponies!”

“Excuse me?” Luna's eyes began to glow.

“That doesn't help! There's only two of them!” Commander Hurricane scooted away from Luna, just in case. “You might as well just have us all marry Celestia!”

“That's it! You can all marry Celestia! Problem solved!” Clover the Clever said.

And with that, every pony in the room turned to look at him.

He swallowed, and continued. “I mean, think about it. Celestia and her sister are pretty unique, in that they share traits from all the tribes. A unicorn's horn. A pegasus' wings. An earth pony's--” Clover wrenched his eyes away from Celestia's chest. “--stamina. So, uh, technically, a unicorn could marry the unicorn part of her, and the pegasus and earth ponies would do likewise, making it ... technically legal. Not to mention a powerful symbol of pony unity.”

Celestia blinked. “Wait. Three ponies? At the same time?”

“You handled more than that last night, darling.” Princess Platinum said with a wry smirk.

“Hah! Got me there.” Celestia said, then reached over to pull Princess Platinum into her lap in what was becoming a familiar gesture. Platinum giggled girlishly, then met Celestia's lips in a long and lengthy kiss.

“I think I like this plan.” Chancellor Puddinghead very deliberately put down her tea, and then started unbuttoning the front of her tunic.

Commander Hurricane, meanwhile, blushed even redder, and cleared her throat. “A true leader would never give an order she wouldn't follow herself. I therefore volunteer for this duty.”

“I bet you do.” Celestia broke her kiss with Platinum, then beckoned Puddinghead and Hurricane closer with a crook of her finger. The chancellor cheered, springing out of her ruffled garments to reveal her bouncy, well-fed form. Her breasts nearly rivaled Celestia's in size, though on a far rounder, softer body than Celestia's amazonian one. Puddinghead practically dove into Celestia's chest, making deliriously happy 'mmf!' noises with her lips.

“We'll leave you to your ... negotiations, sister.” Luna stood up. She cleared her throat, deliberately, and soon enough Clover, Posey, and Smart Cookie all filed out of the throne room behind her, leaving the leaders of the three tribes to quaint themselves with their new spouse.

Hurricane moved a bit slower-- perhaps the only time she'd moved slow in her whole life. “This is for the honor of the kingdom.” She said, more to herself than anything.

“Of course it is.” Platinum slid herself away from Celestia and stood, her silken robe cascading from her shoulders as she did so. She locked eyes with Hurricane, then reached up to gently remove the pegasus' crested helmet. “Now, why don't we get you a little more comfortable?”

Celestia ran her fingers through Puddinghead's frizzed hair, and watched Platinum slowly but surely undo the buckles to the commander's armor. Piece by piece, Platinum undid Hurricane's armor to reveal the toned body beneath. Where Puddinghead's body was pleasingly rounded, and Platinum's a study in refined beauty, Hurricane was the pegasus ideal. She was a figure of lean, taut muscle, softening only around her perky breasts and tight bottom.

When Platinum kissed her, Hurricane melted, all of her martial formality slipping away. The princess took the commander by the hand, and gently brought her over to the other two ponies. Celestia reached out and pulled them down onto the pile of cushions, then spent the next few wonderful minutes simply caressing and kissing the three ponies around her. Celestia closed her eyes and basked in her other senses. She savored the smell of Platinum's flowery perfume, the texture of Hurricane's stiff feathers, the taste of Puddinghead's thick nipple. Each new sensation stoked the heat between Celestia's legs, which in turn sent delicious tingles through the rest of her body. Soon, she had all three of the other ponies on their backs, side by side, legs entwined together, with Hurricane in the middle. Celestia took a moment to admire the sight of the pegasus' swelling lower lips-- and then dove in, curling her tongue between Hurricane's pussy lips. The commander's squeal cut off as Platinum kissed her again, and Celestia smiled.

With a playful swish of her tail, Celestia got to work, lavishing Hurricane's pussy with much-needed attention. She didn't ignore her other lovers, either, running a hand over each of them respectively. With Hurricane's toned thighs blocking her view, it took Celestia some comedic groping before her fingers found Puddinghead's soaking pussy, then Platinum's. She wasted no time, sliding a long, deft digit into each of them. Celestia dragged the pad of her fingertip over hot, slick flesh, seeking out the places that made her lovers moan the loudest. Again, Celestia closed her eyes, her entire world shrinking down to the three writhing ponies in front of her.

Celestia couldn't tell which of them came first-- and she didn't care, either. Instead, she pressed on with relentless determination, making sure that each of her lovers was lovingly, thoroughly satisfied. Hurricane grit her teeth when her climax hit, while Puddinghead just burst into bubbly, gasping laughter. Platinum just sighed and smiled.

Finally, Celestia leaned back, taking a break to breathe and rub at the bottom of her muzzle. She refreshed herself with a gulp of now-cold tea-- only to blink as Puddinghead sat up with a wild (well, wilder) look in her eyes.

“Something wrong?” Celestia managed.

“You haven't had your turn yet!” Puddinghead rolled to hands and knees, then started prowling towards Celestia, tail flagged high and swaying tits hanging low.

“Mmm. She is right.” Platinum slithered up the length of Celestia's leg and planted a kiss on her outer thigh.

“Never give an order you wouldn't follow yourself.” Commander Hurricane slid behind Celestia and ran her fingers over the other woman's wings.

Celestia prided herself on her strength, on the many foes she had bested in her journeys. But the three ponies overpowered her in moments, subduing the mighty amazon with a barrage of tender kisses. Platinum settled in between Celestia's spread thighs and dragged her tongue up the length of her pussy, seeking out the swelling nub of her clit. Celestia gasped-- which only made the princess perk her ears and start lavishing more attention on her. As she suckled at Celestia's fleshy bud, Platinum slid a hand to the amazon's pussy and eased two fingers into her.

Meanwhile, Puddinghead climbed over Platinum, again focusing on Celestia's heavy tits. She suckled at Celestia's stiff nipples wetly, eagerly, all the while looking up at Celestia's face with adoring blue eyes.

Meanwhile, blunt, teasing teeth nibbled their way up from the base of Celestia's wings to the nape of her neck, as Hurricane teased her from behind. Celestia shuddered, and Hurricane just laughed. “Not so tough now, are you?” The pegasus said. She reached over Celestia's shoulder to touch her muzzle, then press her two middle fingers into Celestia's mouth. The amazon groaned again, suckling at those fingers until Hurricane took them away. “Let's see how you handle this.”

With that, Hurricane reached down, hiking Celestia's tail up with one hand. She slipped the other between Celestia's round cheeks, tracing the spit-slicked digit around her tailhole for a teasing moment before she pushed it in, eliciting another gasp from the warrior woman. Celestia spread her legs and rolled her hips, eagerly offering herself to her lovers' fingers and tongues.

She panted out her pleasure, feeling her pleasure build more and more, until she came-- not for the first time that day, and certainly not for the last. Shaking, gasping, Celestia grabbed hold of Puddinghead with both hands, pressing her to her chest as she rode out a messy orgasm on Platinum's face. Sweat beading on her white coat, Celestia moaned again, and then even her mighty strength gave out as she collapsed onto the pile of cushions in the middle of the throne room. The other ponies soon followed, draping their warm, soft bodies over Celestia's, and the unlikely quartet soon dozed off to a much-needed sleep.

When the sun set, Celestia was the first to wake up.

She craned her head up to look at the trio of naked, exhausted ponies draped over her. While it was difficult to slip out of the cage of arms and legs around her, Celestia had plenty of practice in slipping away from slumbering lovers without waking them. On silent hooves, she crept across the throne room, collecting her sword from where it lay in a forgotten corner. For the first time in days, she put on clothing-- not of any sense of modesty, but rather so the dark silk of the robe might hide her ivory-white coat in the darkness. As an afterthought, Celestia grabbed a handful of honeyed pastries and stuffed them into one of the robe's pockets. Thusly equipped, she made for the window and clambered out into the open air beyond. She stretched out her wings, gliding quietly to the ground below.

No sooner had Celestia touched her hooves to the ground, a hooded figure stepped out of the shadow cast by the castle wall. “Going somewhere, sister?”

“There you are, Luna.” Celestia smiled. “Now c'mon-- if we fly hard, I think we can make it to the Everfree border by dawn--”

“Before we go, I'd like to ask a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Have you noticed that since we arrived, half the unicorn court is wearing considerably ... less?”

Celestia paused, briefly thinking of wispy silk that barely hid the tantalizingly soft bodies beneath. “I just thought it was convenient.”

“They're imitating you. Sister, you're fashionable.” Luna said. “Seems that ever since you slew the Efreet, ponies have looked up to you. You're a role model, of sorts.”

“What? Me? Why?”

“Indeed. You're a brash, reckless hedonist--”

“Thanks Luna.”

“--but you still have a good heart.” Luna said. “You're also generous, selfless, and quick to laugh-- among other traits. There's more good to be done than just slaying monsters, whether you know it or not. But if you leave like this, skulking away like some kind of shameful thief ... Platinum and Hurricane and Puddinghead will denounce you as an usurper and a rake. And after that they'll start bickering again. And while they argue, ponies will suffer.”

“You honestly think that a one night stand will start a civil war?”

Luna shrugged. “I don't know if I'd go that far. But I'd rather not find out. Besides, from everything I saw, you seemed to ... enjoy yourself. Why leave now?”

“Starswirl seemed to enjoy training us, but that didn't stop him from leaving.” Celestia's voice hitched.

“So that's it.”

“Don't give me that look.” Celestia wiped budding tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “I mean-- we spent all this time, all these years searching for him, but now he's just ... gone. He left us, Luna, like we don't even matter. If we stay here ... “

“If we stay here, we can help a lot of ponies. And not just by slaying monsters. And Starswirl always taught us to help other ponies whenever possible, did he not?”

“Damn it, you're right.” Celestia sniffled again.

“Think about it. Not only would you set a ... mostly positive example for the common pony, but you might even distract those three long enough for their subordinates to get on with the actual business of running the kingdom.”

“You're joking.”

“Mostly.” Luna reached out and patted her sister softly on the bicep. “But I know that, deep down, you just want to help others, even if it's in an ...unorthodox way. So can we stay? Please?”

Celestia sniffled again, then pulled her sister into a warm, sisterly hug. “Fine. We'll stay. But there better be some monsters to fight before long.”

“Something tells me that won't be a problem.” Luna said with a sly laugh.

“And one more thing-- if I'm supposed to get married to the three tribal leaders, shouldn't I have a fancy title too?”

“I suppose that could be arranged.” Luna said. “Is there anything that you would prefer?”

“Princess Celestia has a certain ring to it, don't you think?”

Chapter 3

Per Starswirl the Bearded's theory of etheric mass transference, the amount of magic needed for a teleportation spell increased based on both the distance traveled and the amount of mass being moved. Thusly, if a unicorn had a maximum teleportation range of a mile (itself no small feat) then they could teleport themselves and a second pony roughly half of that distance.

Celestia's horn glowed, and in a flash of light, she transported herself, her sister, and the half-dozen prisoners directly into Princess Platinum's throne room. Such a naked display of magical power was almost enough to distract the shocked princess and her court from Celestia's naked display of, well, everything else. In fact, having teleported directly from the Efreet's lair, the entirety of the party was in the nude, save for Luna.

“Took care of your Efreet problem.” Celestia tossed the massive ruby onto the cushions in front of Princess Platinum.

The princess stared-- first at the gem, then up at the magical amazon who delivered it. The former made her eyes go wide, and the latter made her cheeks blush pink. “I ... ah ... thank you.” Princess Platinum finally tore her eyes away from Celestia's proudly bared breasts. “Dare I ask why you're ... indecent?”

“What, this?” Celestia looked down at herself. “I like to think I look more than 'decent.'” She winked saucily at the princess, then stretched her wings a little, framing herself like a painting. “But my tunic got burned off when the Efreet tried to light me on fire. You know how it goes.”

“No loss there, at least. Brown isn't your color, darling. Now then!” Princess Platinum clapped her hands. “Allow me to provide you all with proper attire-- 'tis the least I can do to show my appreciation for all you've done.”

“Honestly, you can spare the silk robes-- all I really want in return is a bottle of wine and some words with him.” Celestia looked over her shoulder at Clover the Clever, who raised a hand in an embarrassed wave, using the other to cover himself, with a mixed degree of success. “... and maybe a little more than conversation, if he's willing.” Celestia added on, smiling.

“Sister.” Luna cleared her throat, finally stepping forward.

“What? Monster-slaying gets me worked up. And he's cute.”

“I am?” Clover said, proving he wasn't clever in all subjects.

“My apologies for my sister's manners. Or lack thereof.” Luna said. “We have come a long way to speak with you, and we would prefer to do so as soon as possible.”

“Then sit. Speak.” Princess Platinum waved a slim, ring-adorned hand, and servants bustled up with plush cushions. “I'll have refreshments brought.”

“Thank you, Princess.” Luna bowed her head-- then nudged her sister, who did the same. Soon enough, the two alicorns and Clover had all sat down around Princess Platinum's dais. The rest of the rescued prisoners slipped off to recover elsewhere in the castle, leaving the odd quartet and a handful of stoic-faced servants the only ones in the throne room. Clover pulled a cushion over his lap, while Celestia settled into a languid sprawl, displaying herself-- Platinum and Clover both sneaking glances when they could.

“Starswirl told me about you, you know.” Clover said. “In his letters. He was always very proud of the both of you. Though honestly, just from the letters, I didn't expect you to be so ... impressive.”

Celestia winked at Clover. He blushed, and pressed the cushion a little tighter in his lap.

“So you've been exchanging letters with our teacher?” Luna leaned forward. “Did he say where he went? It's been years since--” She trailed off, voice hitching slightly with emotion.

“I know exactly what happened to Starswirl.” Clover said, grim. “He, along with several other brave ponies, sealed himself away to stop a great evil.”

“What?!” Celestia sputtered. “How? Why? I could have--”

Clover held up a hand, and Celestia (for once) stopped talking. “It was Starswirl's choice. He knew it was something he wouldn't come back from-- I imagine he didn't want you or your sister to risk it. He said the both of you had so much potential--”

“But he didn't say goodbye.” Celestia sniffled, an incongruously vulnerable gesture.

“There wasn't any time--” Clover began.

“That's enough.” Luna said, voice steely. “I thank you, Clover the Clever, for enlightening us. It's not how I expected this quest to end, but such is the way of things.” She shook her head.

“What will you do now?” Clover asked.

“They shall stay here as our honored guests.” Princess Platinum declared. “Until such time as Celestia and Luna decide what mad adventure they'll undertake next.” She reached out and gave Celestia's shoulder a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

Celestia smiled, and dabbed the tears from the corner of her eye. “Thank you, Princess.” She breathed in deeply, causing her generous bosom to rise and fall in quite the interesting manner. Celestia reached up and laid a hand over Platinum's. She met the princess' gaze for a few long, silent moments. And then, just as brazen as she'd been in her other adventures, she leaned in to give the alabaster unicorn a lengthy, hungry kiss.

“Oh!” Princess Platinum squeaked. She put a hand against her own chest, feeling her heart beat faster. “What ... what do you think you're doing?” she said.

“Needed to take my mind off of ... things.” Celestia ran her tongue over her lips. “That is, if you want to.”

“Who wouldn't?” Platinum blurted, and then blushed harder. “I mean, ah, you are aesthetically pleasing, not to mention quite uninhibited. It's enough to make you-- mmmph!” Platinum trailed off as Celestia kissed her again, this time reaching around the unicorn's waist to pull her into her lap.

“Um.” Clover the Clever stared, watching the most beautiful woman he'd ever met kiss the second most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Or perhaps third, if one took Luna into consideration. Clover blinked, finally wrenching his eyes away from Celestia and Princess Platinum-- only to find that Luna had silently disappeared, seemingly in the space between heartbeats. “I'll ... I'll leave you two be?”

“You don't have to.” Celestia said, even as she gently parted the silk of Platinum's robe, revealing her perfectly-shaped breasts. The amazon gave Platinum a squeeze, and the princess let out a delighted, wordless squeal.

Clover blushed. Stammered. “I- I couldn't.”

“I think you could.” Celestia's horn glowed, and a quick, telekinetic yank pulled the pillow out of his lap. Clover's large, dark-skinned cock bobbed upwards, the unicorn already hard from what he'd seen.

Princess Platinum fluttered her eyelashes at Clover. “Please?” she asked, perhaps the first time she'd made a request of him, and not an order. Whichever it was, Clover couldn't help but obey. He moved towards Celestia's pile of cushions, but by the time he was within arm's reach, the warrior-woman grabbed him around the thighs and pulled him into her lap alongside Platinum. It was crowded-- which was exactly the point. Body pressed against body as the trio entwined around each other. Lips, hands, even feathery wingtips traced over Clover and Platinum both. Clover could still smell a faint, smoky smell on Celestia, a reminder of her previous adventuring, more intoxicating than any perfume.

Celestia was by turns greedy and generous-- one moment, she'd press a lover to her chest, urging them to kiss and tease her achingly stiff nipples. The next, Celestia would gently toss Clover to his back, at which point she and Platinum eagerly ran their lips over his cock. Clover moaned and shuddered-- only for the women to suddenly stop.

“Not yet.” Celestia scolded him, playfully. She soon turned her attention to Princess Platinum, parting the unicorn's long legs to reveal the treasure of her pussy. Celestia wasted little time, rolling onto her belly, positioning herself so she could kiss and suckle at the princess' lower lips. Platinum gasped again and arced her back against the pile of cushions.

Celestia pulled away from between Platinum's legs long enough to look over her shoulder and wink at Clover. She didn't say anything-- she didn't have to, as the hiking of her flowing tail told everything Clover he needed to know. Acting on instinct, wondering if he was dreaming, Clover scooted up behind Celestia and positioned himself to enter her dripping folds.

“Do it.” Celestia huffed out.

Clover did.

He slid himself into the amazon, and gasped. Within, she was slick, tight, and most notably-- hot. Just short of painfully so, as Clover felt just the slightest brush of Celestia's inner heat and power. The warrior-woman moaned, laughed, and pushed her own hips back against Clover, hard enough to almost topple him. He grabbed hold of Celestia's round, perfect ass to steady himself, and the amazon gave another lusty moan. Clover braced himself, then started fucking Celestia properly, soon panting at the effort. The harder he went, the more Celestia enjoyed it-- though her moans were soon muffled as she eagerly lavished pleasure on Princess Platinum's royal pussy. The sovereign of all unicorns gasped and moaned, all of her royal poise melting away. She grabbed a handful of Celestia's hair, then cried out in ecstasy, shaking hard enough to make her tits wobble as she came.

Clover stared at the beautiful, unlikely sight of Platinum's climax-- and then gave a gasp of his own. Where Celestia was an invincible, insatiable demigoddess-- Clover certainly wasn't. Overwhelmed by the paradise of Celestia's pussy, it wasn't long before he reached his own peak, feeling his whole body tense before his cock started pumping his seed into Celestia's waiting sex. He bucked his hips a few more times, then collapsed against Celestia's back, nestling in between her wings.

“Mmm.” Celestia drew off of Platinum's still-sensitive folds, then sprawled out on the pile of silken cushions. She moved Clover and Platinum as if they weight no more than those same pillows, happily sandwiching herself between the two gasping, trembling unicorns. Celestia nearly purred in contentment, and idly twisted a lock of Platinum's purple hair around a finger.

“You know, Princess, I think I could get to like it here.”

Days later, Luna paced outside the throne room door. Her sister had seemingly taken up residence in there-- and the wanton cries heard day and night informed her exactly what she was up to. Every so often, one of the braver servants would slip in with food and refreshments-- only to emerge hours later, sweaty, sticky, and exhausted.

It would've been easy enough for Luna to kick the door in, but she knew the debauched bender was Celestia's way of distracting herself, of reminding herself that she was still alive. Celestia would tire of it ... eventually. Until then it was best to let things run their course, like letting a bonfire slowly burn itself down to charcoal and ashes. So long as nothing important came up, things would work themselves out. In time.

Naturally, that's when the ponies with swords showed up.

Luna perked her ears as she heard the jangle of harness tromping down the hallway. She turned-- and then found herself staring at a platoon of mixed ponies. Crest-helmed unicorn guards, lightly armored pegasus sky-knights, and even a handful of earth pony halberdiers.

“There you are!” The blue-coated pegasus at the head of the armed throng leveled an accusatory finger at Luna. Faintly, Luna matched the face to a painting she'd seen hanging elsewhere in the castle.

“Commander Hurricane, I presume?” Luna kept her hands away from her sword. For now.

“The one and only!” Commander Hurricane said. “Now, hand over your sword, and tell us what you did with Princess Platinum!”

Epilogue

As the curtain fell, and as the audience clapped, Princess Twilight Sparkle smiled and turned to her otherdimensional doppleganger, seated next to her in the royal box.

“Well?” the princess said, “Did you enjoy the play?”

Twilight Sparkle blinked, then pushed her glasses further up her nose. She'd expected the traditions of another world to be eccentric, but the ostensibly historical play had surprised her more than she thought it would. Still, she managed a polite smile (or what she hoped was one-- pony-person expressions were kind of tricky).

“Let's just say Hearth's Warming Eve pageants are a lot ... different back where I'm from.”