Radiant Regrets

by Meowofy

Radiant Regrets

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As the sun sank below the horizon, leaving the clear skies a dusty blue colour, the clatter of hooves could be heard all around as everypony darted back and forth, bringing food, decorations and flowers, all given explicit directions by one particular lavender unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, protege of Princess Celestia herself. She was standing amidst the coordinated chaos with her trusty checklist and familiar red quill.

Merely four days ago, the wedding was ruined by an ambush by Queen Chrysalis and her changelings, destroying all preparations and feeding off of the citizens of Equestria for their love, had it not been for Shining Armor and Princess Cadence's love for each other, the changelings would have destroyed the entire civilization.

Twilight managed to arrange an entire wedding in days with her uncanny organisational abilities, and everypony couldn't be more relieved.

-/-

Princess Celestia watched from her balcony, putting on a proud smile as she spotted her Most Faithful Student, rolling up her checklist and quill before tucking it securely in her saddlebag, making her way towards the castle with a huge grin plastered across her face, no doubt signifying all arrangements had gone according to plan and the wedding was on schedule. Her spectacular organisation skills have yet again saved the day, like so many other times, while Celestia, once more, was devoid of any tasks, pushing all her responsibilities onto Twilight Sparkle's shoulders.

Look at yourself Celestia! How dare you disregard the one pony you have always seen as your daughter like that! Have you apologized? How can you be so cruel?

A pained expression made it's way on to the monarch's face as she recalled her betrayal from a few days ago...

-/-

A few paces behind the other elements to comfort her niece, who had raced out of the room sobbing after her student's accusations, Celestia shot an icy glare at Twilight Sparkle.

"You have a lot to think about,"

Her words dripped with venom and she dismissed her explanations as she marched out of the elegant arched doorway, not even bothering to hide her obvious disappointment, leaving Twilight crouched down low on the ground, trembling and body wracked with sobs as the ones she had loved most, her brother, friends and mentor, left her to drown in doubt and betrayal.

-/-

Princess Celestia was overcome with guilt as she retreated back into the cozy interior of her luxurious chambers, staring at her own reflection against the cool vanity mirror, the reflection of a mask, the mask of practiced serenity and calm, it was the face of a pony who let an intruder in right under her muzzle, who dismissed the warning of somepony who had trusted her with utmost faith and loyalty, and who failed to protect her subjects like she swore she would. It was the face of a failure.

-/-

After leaving the order that she was not to be disturbed with her guards, she sobbed into the pillow at the foot of her majestic bed, reminding herself of all the failures she committed, all she put her Faithful Student through, and all she didn't deserve, what use was a crown when you couldn’t do any good with it?

She had heard of the heartfelt apologies delivered to Twilight by her friends, Shining Armor, and even Spike. According to the guards who were stationed in front of the guest bedroom, they were overflowing with sincerity and laced with tears, and the selfless unicorn had forgiven them right away.

This left her the only pony left to apologize to her student for her shameful actions, and pay the price.

No doubt she would never forgive you! She only forgave the others because they were her friends and family, and despite all the time they had spent in each others company, she only saw Celestia as a ruler, a monarch, a pillar for support, and now, a failure...

Would she even wish to continue her tuition under a mentor who had turned her back on her in the worst possible way?

No of course not, why would she want to be near you after what you did? There's absolutely no way for you to fix your mistake this time!

There has to be a way to gain her trust again! To fix my mistake! I've made plenty in the past, Sure, they’ve all left a scar, but nonetheless all healed!

And how exactly have they been healed? It's always the same pony you look to when things get out of your 'capable' hooves, who leaps to your rescue every single time? Knowing no bounds and the only reward being your approval? Now, said pony wants nothing to do with you!

This revelation hit the white alicorn like a ton of bricks. All of her issues and mistakes coming to haunt her had been pushed onto the shoulders of a student, pushing Twilight to the front lines every time to resolve her conflicts while being in constant danger, all in the name of the one pony.

Princess Celestia. The mare who held the world in her hooves, the Regent of the Sun who could overcome any challenge for her little ponies, the goddess who could never be struck down, who could never be fooled, and who would never turn on her faithful subjects.

Over a mere week, all of these claims had been proven wrong, to the ponies present in that wedding hall, she would be forever seen as the pony who couldn't even coordinate a wedding without compromises, who was the first to fall to the ground at the hooves of Queen Chrysalis, who was easily manipulated to turn on her own student without a second thought, and who dismissed the concerns of not just a subject, but her most faithful one...

One thing was crystal clear to her. Princess Celestia had just lost the pony she had always viewed as the daughter she never had due to her own foolish mistakes.

-/-

She wiped her bloodshot eyes, pink and swollen as she dove into her covers, body shaking and exhausted, yet unable to rest as she continued weep into her mane, now ragged and wet, until she felt a hoof resting upon her shoulder, lightly stroking it in a comforting manner.

Wings flaring up in surprise, Celestia quickly swiveled around, finding herself facing a lavender unicorn, discarding a salad bowl to the side and staring at her with round lavender eyes filled with nothing but the utmost concern for her beloved mentor.

"Tw-Twilight?" She stammered, unable to meet her student's gaze any longer as she turned her head to the side, desperately attempting to clear her eyes of any tears. "Wh-what are you d-doing here?" stuttering as the Goddess of the Sun tried to brush her matted fur with futile effort.

"You weren't at dinner, so I thought I'd bring you something to eat, when your guards said you were not to be disturbed, I knew there was something wrong..." Twilight murmured cautiously, still watching Celestia with worry "What is it? You trust me... Right?"

The way Twilight questioned the regal white alicorn's trust brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes as she cursed her precious student for being so kindhearted.

The smaller mare rubbed her hoof on Celestia's back in reassuring circle motions and held her as the sobs died down, before the alicorn, now looking like a mess, murmured "I- I'm useless and a complete utter failure!"

Twilight stopped rubbing her back for a second, processing what her dear mentor had just stated, before suddenly nuzzling Celestia and exclaimed, "Don't be ridiculous! How can you say that!"

It pained her to know her teacher thought of herself in that manner, just hearing her dejected tone, resigned and defeated, bought tears to her own eyes, flowing freely down her fur onto Celestia's neck, The monarch stiffened at the cold touch, glancing down quickly at her pupil's wide shining eyes, filled to the brim with tears.

Look what you've done now you foolish old mare! As if making her cry the first time wasn't enough, here you are doing it again!

"Don't cry My Faithful Student! What's the matter?" All Celestia's insecurities drowned out by the overwhelming concern for Twilight.

Wiping her eyes with a hoof, "I'm sorry... It's just it hurts me to hear you saying those things about yourself..." Twilight whispered just loud enough for her idol to hear.

Princess Celestia was shocked at her words, why would she still care for me that much despite all I've done to her?

"What's really bothering you Princess?" Twilight asked in a soft yet defiant voice, offering her support by rubbing her muzzle on Celestia's shoulder.

"...It's just... you idolize me, and look up to me, because I have the power to protect all my little ponies... but I was struck down by Queen Chrysalis almost immediately, not to mention I constantly force you and your friends into danger, after all that, you still respect me and trust me... but in the wedding rehearsal, wh-when you needed me most, I- I--" Celestia broke off as another wave of tears threatened to overwhelm her.

They silently laid there for a few minutes, Twilight gently caressing her mentor's mane while she calmed down. As the monarch's sniffles slowly subsided into silence, she looked to the side, surprised to see a small smile grazing Twilight's lips.

"Oh Princess... I don't idolize you just for your power, beauty, or your grace, I adore you because of the affection you constantly show all your subjects, when you put me to bed, read a story, or look after me when I'm upset, I admire you because as a leader, you genuinely love your subjects, not just the power it bears.”

“You don't force my friends and I into danger, we help fight because we love this land and everypony in it! If I thought about revealing my concerns rationally, like send a letter to you in private instead of barging into the rehearsal, there would be no doubt you would take my warnings into mind.”

“You expressing your sorrow right now, shows how much you care for Equestria, for all your subjects..."Twilight hesitated for a second, staring at Celestia sincerely with a gentle smile before continuing, "-and also how much you care for me."

Princess Celestia's ears pricked up at this last statement, before a weak smile spread across her features, her eyes filling with tears of joy at the sentiment.

"Thank you..." The exhausted princess murmured gratefully before drifting off into a deep slumber, her usual nightmares replaced by beautiful moments of Celestia and the lavender unicorn she had learnt to love as her own daughter.


Author's Note

Hello viewers! I know it's rubbish, I just wanted to try something new after reading the many fantastic stories written on Fimfiction.net! This is my first story, so constructive criticism is very much appreciated!

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