Radiant Regrets

by Meowofy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 3880

After the Royal Canterlot Wedding incident, Princess Celestia regrets not listening to Twilight and is overcome with guilt. Will her forever faithful student find it in her heart to forgive?

After the Royal Canterlot Wedding incident, Princess Celestia regrets not listening to Twilight and is overcome with guilt.

Will her forever faithful student find it in her heart to forgive?

Published 2020-04-23 07:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-24 04:22:08 UTC

Radiant Regrets

As the sun sank below the horizon, leaving the clear skies a dusty blue colour, the clatter of hooves could be heard all around as everypony darted back and forth, bringing food, decorations and flowers, all given explicit directions by one particular lavender unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, protege of Princess Celestia herself. She was standing amidst the coordinated chaos with her trusty checklist and familiar red quill.

Merely four days ago, the wedding was ruined by an ambush by Queen Chrysalis and her changelings, destroying all preparations and feeding off of the citizens of Equestria for their love, had it not been for Shining Armor and Princess Cadence's love for each other, the changelings would have destroyed the entire civilization.

Twilight managed to arrange an entire wedding in days with her uncanny organisational abilities, and everypony couldn't be more relieved.

-/-

Princess Celestia watched from her balcony, putting on a proud smile as she spotted her Most Faithful Student, rolling up her checklist and quill before tucking it securely in her saddlebag, making her way towards the castle with a huge grin plastered across her face, no doubt signifying all arrangements had gone according to plan and the wedding was on schedule. Her spectacular organisation skills have yet again saved the day, like so many other times, while Celestia, once more, was devoid of any tasks, pushing all her responsibilities onto Twilight Sparkle's shoulders.

Look at yourself Celestia! How dare you disregard the one pony you have always seen as your daughter like that! Have you apologized? How can you be so cruel?

A pained expression made it's way on to the monarch's face as she recalled her betrayal from a few days ago...

-/-

A few paces behind the other elements to comfort her niece, who had raced out of the room sobbing after her student's accusations, Celestia shot an icy glare at Twilight Sparkle.

"You have a lot to think about,"

Her words dripped with venom and she dismissed her explanations as she marched out of the elegant arched doorway, not even bothering to hide her obvious disappointment, leaving Twilight crouched down low on the ground, trembling and body wracked with sobs as the ones she had loved most, her brother, friends and mentor, left her to drown in doubt and betrayal.

-/-

Princess Celestia was overcome with guilt as she retreated back into the cozy interior of her luxurious chambers, staring at her own reflection against the cool vanity mirror, the reflection of a mask, the mask of practiced serenity and calm, it was the face of a pony who let an intruder in right under her muzzle, who dismissed the warning of somepony who had trusted her with utmost faith and loyalty, and who failed to protect her subjects like she swore she would. It was the face of a failure.

-/-

After leaving the order that she was not to be disturbed with her guards, she sobbed into the pillow at the foot of her majestic bed, reminding herself of all the failures she committed, all she put her Faithful Student through, and all she didn't deserve, what use was a crown when you couldn’t do any good with it?

She had heard of the heartfelt apologies delivered to Twilight by her friends, Shining Armor, and even Spike. According to the guards who were stationed in front of the guest bedroom, they were overflowing with sincerity and laced with tears, and the selfless unicorn had forgiven them right away.

This left her the only pony left to apologize to her student for her shameful actions, and pay the price.

No doubt she would never forgive you! She only forgave the others because they were her friends and family, and despite all the time they had spent in each others company, she only saw Celestia as a ruler, a monarch, a pillar for support, and now, a failure...

Would she even wish to continue her tuition under a mentor who had turned her back on her in the worst possible way?

No of course not, why would she want to be near you after what you did? There's absolutely no way for you to fix your mistake this time!

There has to be a way to gain her trust again! To fix my mistake! I've made plenty in the past, Sure, they’ve all left a scar, but nonetheless all healed!

And how exactly have they been healed? It's always the same pony you look to when things get out of your 'capable' hooves, who leaps to your rescue every single time? Knowing no bounds and the only reward being your approval? Now, said pony wants nothing to do with you!

This revelation hit the white alicorn like a ton of bricks. All of her issues and mistakes coming to haunt her had been pushed onto the shoulders of a student, pushing Twilight to the front lines every time to resolve her conflicts while being in constant danger, all in the name of the one pony.

Princess Celestia. The mare who held the world in her hooves, the Regent of the Sun who could overcome any challenge for her little ponies, the goddess who could never be struck down, who could never be fooled, and who would never turn on her faithful subjects.

Over a mere week, all of these claims had been proven wrong, to the ponies present in that wedding hall, she would be forever seen as the pony who couldn't even coordinate a wedding without compromises, who was the first to fall to the ground at the hooves of Queen Chrysalis, who was easily manipulated to turn on her own student without a second thought, and who dismissed the concerns of not just a subject, but her most faithful one...

One thing was crystal clear to her. Princess Celestia had just lost the pony she had always viewed as the daughter she never had due to her own foolish mistakes.

-/-

She wiped her bloodshot eyes, pink and swollen as she dove into her covers, body shaking and exhausted, yet unable to rest as she continued weep into her mane, now ragged and wet, until she felt a hoof resting upon her shoulder, lightly stroking it in a comforting manner.

Wings flaring up in surprise, Celestia quickly swiveled around, finding herself facing a lavender unicorn, discarding a salad bowl to the side and staring at her with round lavender eyes filled with nothing but the utmost concern for her beloved mentor.

"Tw-Twilight?" She stammered, unable to meet her student's gaze any longer as she turned her head to the side, desperately attempting to clear her eyes of any tears. "Wh-what are you d-doing here?" stuttering as the Goddess of the Sun tried to brush her matted fur with futile effort.

"You weren't at dinner, so I thought I'd bring you something to eat, when your guards said you were not to be disturbed, I knew there was something wrong..." Twilight murmured cautiously, still watching Celestia with worry "What is it? You trust me... Right?"

The way Twilight questioned the regal white alicorn's trust brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes as she cursed her precious student for being so kindhearted.

The smaller mare rubbed her hoof on Celestia's back in reassuring circle motions and held her as the sobs died down, before the alicorn, now looking like a mess, murmured "I- I'm useless and a complete utter failure!"

Twilight stopped rubbing her back for a second, processing what her dear mentor had just stated, before suddenly nuzzling Celestia and exclaimed, "Don't be ridiculous! How can you say that!"

It pained her to know her teacher thought of herself in that manner, just hearing her dejected tone, resigned and defeated, bought tears to her own eyes, flowing freely down her fur onto Celestia's neck, The monarch stiffened at the cold touch, glancing down quickly at her pupil's wide shining eyes, filled to the brim with tears.

Look what you've done now you foolish old mare! As if making her cry the first time wasn't enough, here you are doing it again!

"Don't cry My Faithful Student! What's the matter?" All Celestia's insecurities drowned out by the overwhelming concern for Twilight.

Wiping her eyes with a hoof, "I'm sorry... It's just it hurts me to hear you saying those things about yourself..." Twilight whispered just loud enough for her idol to hear.

Princess Celestia was shocked at her words, why would she still care for me that much despite all I've done to her?

"What's really bothering you Princess?" Twilight asked in a soft yet defiant voice, offering her support by rubbing her muzzle on Celestia's shoulder.

"...It's just... you idolize me, and look up to me, because I have the power to protect all my little ponies... but I was struck down by Queen Chrysalis almost immediately, not to mention I constantly force you and your friends into danger, after all that, you still respect me and trust me... but in the wedding rehearsal, wh-when you needed me most, I- I--" Celestia broke off as another wave of tears threatened to overwhelm her.

They silently laid there for a few minutes, Twilight gently caressing her mentor's mane while she calmed down. As the monarch's sniffles slowly subsided into silence, she looked to the side, surprised to see a small smile grazing Twilight's lips.

"Oh Princess... I don't idolize you just for your power, beauty, or your grace, I adore you because of the affection you constantly show all your subjects, when you put me to bed, read a story, or look after me when I'm upset, I admire you because as a leader, you genuinely love your subjects, not just the power it bears.”

“You don't force my friends and I into danger, we help fight because we love this land and everypony in it! If I thought about revealing my concerns rationally, like send a letter to you in private instead of barging into the rehearsal, there would be no doubt you would take my warnings into mind.”

“You expressing your sorrow right now, shows how much you care for Equestria, for all your subjects..."Twilight hesitated for a second, staring at Celestia sincerely with a gentle smile before continuing, "-and also how much you care for me."

Princess Celestia's ears pricked up at this last statement, before a weak smile spread across her features, her eyes filling with tears of joy at the sentiment.

"Thank you..." The exhausted princess murmured gratefully before drifting off into a deep slumber, her usual nightmares replaced by beautiful moments of Celestia and the lavender unicorn she had learnt to love as her own daughter.

Author's Note

Hello viewers! I know it's rubbish, I just wanted to try something new after reading the many fantastic stories written on Fimfiction.net! This is my first story, so constructive criticism is very much appreciated!

Bonus : Twilight Sparkle POV

Following Princess Luna out of the elegant dining hall, we swiftly parted ways with wishes of a good night's sleep.

The day had been exhausting. Thank goodness Spike was here to help me plan for the wedding, I don't think I could have done it without him, perhaps I should ask Princess Celestia for a few sapphires from the royal vault for him later...

My musings were cut short as I suddenly halted, Princess Celestia? I haven't seen her since breakfast today, and even then she seemed in a hurry to head off to her private quarters. She even missed lunch! Guess her princess duty calls, I think I'd better take a serving of dinner up to her room for her, I wouldn't want her going hungry!

Tracing my way back to the tall, grand doors leading to the very place I had just left, I pushed them open, looking for the only pony who could help me put together a meal in record time,

"Mister Honey!" I called in an attempt to draw the attention of the charismatic head chef.

The enthusiastic stallion had been in the castle for as long as she could remember, always whipping up a special batch of extra sweet pancakes with added syrup whenever the lavender filly had been feeling down in the mornings.

I was bought out of my nostalgia as a cheerful voice greeted me, "Well if it isn’t Little Sparkle! Back already? Maybe it's because you were sorely tempted by my newest creation, La salade du soleil?" Honey exclaimed, eyes twinkling with mirth, holding up a deep bowl with an intricate design on the edges.

"Sorry to disrupt you again Mister Honey, I was wondering if you could bring me a quick serving for Princess Celestia if it's not too much trouble? It's just I noticed she was not at dinner today, probably busy with paperwork again." I asked quickly, not wanting to borrow anymore of his time.

"Always thinking about others eh? It's no problem at all! Actually... How about this?" Holding up the transparent bowl to reveal the same dish he was carrying before, the chef beamed as he received my nod of agreement, quickly scraping a chunk of the leafy mix onto a thin golden plate.

"Thank you so much Honey!" I walked away after giving my goodbye, weaving through the familiar long corridors I had spent hours playing hide and seek in as Celestia's young student.

As I reached the marble doors rimmed with gold and emblazoned with a sun cutiemark with the plate floating beside me held in my magenta aura, I recognized one of my mentor's door guards, Silver Blade, whom had chased me often throughout the Canterlot Gardens when he assumed nopony was watching.

"Silver" I nodded to him in acknowledgement, "and Mister ..." trailing off in search of a name.

"Swift Flight Miss, What can we do for you?" The guard saluted, posture stiff and eyes unwavering.

"Good afternoon to you both, I'm here to bring Princess Celestia her dinner, may I pass?" I questioned, staring at them expectantly as the guards shared a look, waiting for one of them to sa-

"I'm sorry Twilight, Her highness is currently indispos-" Silver Blade winced as his partner kicked his foreleg, "Busy, she is busy, but you can leave her meal with us" The general smiled awkwardly, beads of sweat dripping down his muzzle.

The lavender unicorn narrowed her eyes, the violet orbs fixed of the door guard while said stallion was looking everywhere except at the powerful mare standing before him. "Tell me what's wrong with the Princess. Is she okay?" Concern for her mentor grew as the other lieutenant, averted his gaze for a moment, before bringing it back to the worried unicorn, looking resolute as he snapped, "She is fine, Miss, nopony is to disturb her, so I suggest you leave now before I am required to use force!"

Lieutenant Flight spoke too quickly.

From the many years spent in the castle with the Monarch, I had immediately recognized the alarms going off in her head as soon as the stoic guard mentioned Celestia's desire to be left alone.

"She want's to be alone? From experience, that's never a good thing. Please, move aside or I will have to use force"I spoke in a calm tone, but my eyes were burning with determination.

"Do you hear this mare Silver?" Swift Flight chuckled mirthlessly "Who are you to decide what is a good thing or not? I've known the Princess for five years now, and I assure you she is fine!" before binding he 'deluded' unicorn with magical chains made of his magical substance, "Ma'am, you are restrained under the crown, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Grinning victoriously and failing to notice his 'prisoner's' amused look and his partner's desperate motions to silence him.

"Restrain me?" I smiled sweetly, "I am sorry it has come to this officers of the law, but I did already ask politely..."

Swift was rolling his eyes at this display of obvious overconfidence, he couldn't help but shake his head disapprovingly at Silver Blade, who had begun cowering before the captured mare's gaze. nopony could possibly dream of unraveling his restraint sp-

The lieutenant gaped in awe as I ripped the chains off as if they were constructed out of paper, proceeding to perform an anti-gravitational spell on the two guards, stripping them of mobility as they glanced around in alarm, clearly lost as to what to do.

"You've know the Princess for five years huh? Impressive, I've know my mentor for thirteen." I smirked as the upfront stallion's eyes widened in recognition.

"Tw- Twilight Spa- Sparkle? M- Magical prodigy, S-Sister of our C-Captain?" Lieutenant Flight shivered, gulping when he saw the confirmation from the unicorn. He was in hot water.

"L-look, I'll let you through to the princess' chambers and your brother doesn't have to know, deal?" Swift Flight stammered hopefully, knowing it to be a futile effort when I facehooved, pointing at the marble doors leading to their sovereign with nopony to stop her from entering.

"Don't worry, We'll keep this between us" The Lieutenant was in shock upon hearing these words, the unicorn could easily blackmail or threaten him, but instead he was met with a genuine smile on her part while his own features were still contorted into one of shock as the Twilight Sparkle trotted into the room, her face once again determined and full of concern.

Turning to Silver Blade, the other stallion merely stated "I told you so."

As I pushed open the door which I knew would reveal the Princess' bed, I was disappointed to see, surprisingly, no sight of the tall, majestic alicorn I had come to know, turning around to pursue my search, but stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a small disturbance to the peaceful silence.

My ears flicked around in alarm as I swiveled around quickly, I heard something I had never wanted to hear from my beloved mentor -- sobbing.

It was then that I knew I had underestimated the problem, the last time she had heard the Princess Celestia break down was... well never!

I hurried to the bed where I could make out a figure, trembling and body heaving with sobs. To say I was shocked was an understatement... the high and almighty ruler looked... vulnerable...

I bent over to comfort her, placing a hoof on her shoulder, causing her to whip around to face me.

Staring into her magenta eyes, I could see uncertainty, fear and doubt, what had happened?

"Tw-Twilight?" The way she stuttered my name, full of apprehension, made me want to force her into revealing the problem, but I stayed quiet as she turned away, hoofing at hair desperately and breaking eye contact,"Wh- What are you doing here?"

"You weren't at dinner, so I thought I'd bring you something to eat, when your guards said you were not to be disturbed, I knew there was something wrong..." I replied, eyeing Celestia with concern "What is it? You trust me...' I suddenly remembered how nopony had believed me at the wedding rehearsal, nopony had trusted me then, does my mentor even trust me? "Right?" I added in hope of confirmation.

This only made her weep harder burying her muzzle in her forelegs as she trembled. I held her and whispered words of support until she calmed down enough to provide me with an answer.

"I- I'm useless and a complete utter failure!" I froze and my blood ran cold at her words, leaning forwards and nuzzling her to hide my own tears. Her crestfallen expression and resigned tone showed she truly believed her statement, it hurt me to see her this way, miserable and discouraged, I couldn't stop my tears in time as they ran down Princess Celestia's matted white fur, dampening it even more.

She tensed up and I could feel her heartbeat accelerating, as she bent down to meet my gaze, my eyes were now filled to the brim with tears I refused to let drop.

"Don't cry My Faithful Student! What's the matter?" I tore my gaze away, furiously rubbing at my eyes with the side of my forehoof.

"I'm sorry... It's just it hurts me to hear you saying those things about yourself..." I whispered faintly, knowing she received my message with the way her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

Finally clearing any traces of tears, I looked to meet her gaze before asking resolutely "What's really bothering you Princess?" I questioned once more, determined to receive an answer.

"..It's just... you idolize me, and look up to me, because I have the power to protect all my little ponies... but I was struck down by Queen Chrysalis almost immediately, not to mention I constantly force you and your friends into danger, after all that, you still respect me and trust me... but at the wedding rehearsal, wh-when you needed me most, I- I--" I watched as my idol faltered, once again shielding her head with her forehooves as she was bombarded with tears, flowing freely down her muzzle.

I smiled. despite her heart wrenching tears, I couldn't help but feel relieved that she cared about me, the last few days had been torture, my dreams had been constantly plagued with her harsh words, causing the need for Luna to step in every night to end my nightmares.

I gently caressed her mane, listening as Celestia's sobs slowly subsided into silence. When she lifted her head back up to see my reaction, she was met with a gentle smile, before I started speaking.

"Oh Princess... I don't idolize you just for your power, beauty, or your grace, I adore you because of the affection you constantly show all your subjects, when you put me to bed, read a story, or look after me when I'm upset, I admire you because as a leader, you genuinely love your subjects, not just the power it bears.”

“You don't force my friends and I into danger, we help fight because we love this land and everypony in it! If I thought about revealing my concerns rationally, like send a letter to you in private instead of barging into the rehearsal, there would be no doubt you would take my warnings into mind. You expressing your sorrow right now, shows how much you care for Equestria, for all your subjects..."I paused for a second, wondering if I should add the last part, before staring at Celestia sincerely with a reassuring smile and continuing, "and also how much you care for me."

I watched as Princess Celestia's ears pricked up upon hearing my last statement, before regarding me with a weak smile filled with motherly affection, the first she had given that evening.

"Thank you..." My surrogate mother murmured, exhausted from all the tears, before drifting into a deep sleep, her dreams filled with the intimate moments she had spent with the lavender ball of fur now snuggled under her wing.

Author's Note

This was just a small change in perspective, plus a few moments with the Chef and Guards!

Hope you liked it!