Gordon Freemane- The Ponies of Equestria

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Squee! I always wanted to write about Gordon Freeman, ever since I learned about the badass hero himself! Taking out zombies and aliens with a crowbar, and a crowbar only!? Fuck yeah I'm writing that. Rated Teen for gore, and maybe a sexual comment here or there :P.. Well, I suppose- oh. Right. No more ranting, you all came here for Half-Life or Gordon Freeman, or just because you're watching me!(stalkers much? O.o) EDIT: On that note, with the whole people watching me, I think that brings the total up to four. Maybe five. Hang on, I'll list them. And while your at it, go check out their stories. Here we go, anyway: Prosdkr, cloudranger, monsterlord18, RogueShadow, DreamyUnderwood, and, maybe I spelled this wrong- Psicosis. Go check out their stories after you finish with mine. And if you watch me, then I'll make sure to put your name here too :D Now lets read about Gordon Freemane.

Watery sunlight streamed into the sleeping pony's eyes. He moved, rolling onto his stomach to shield his eyes from the dawn light, determined to subconsciously continue his slumber. His brown-orange fur stirred from a warm breeze, and his mud-brown mane looked even more windswept. The grass beneath him rippled lazily in the breeze, and some of the needles from the tall, dark green pine trees were tugged off. Birds sang loudly, and the pony couldn't ignore the waking world much longer. His eyes opened, revealing bright green, annoyed eyes. He didn't say anything, and as he blinked he looked around.

It was clear the stallion was confused. As he struggled into a sitting position, his eyes shone with bewilderment. Upon looking at a dark pine tree, he sagged suddenly, like a marionette with its strings cut. Sleep, warm and unknowing, seemed much better to the confused orange unicorn than standing about in a completely unfamiliar forest. As his mind processed this place and all the reasons he could be here, he forced himself to look around, and thin beard and mustache were ruffled by the breeze. He had found the wind soothing in his sleep, but now it just annoyed the orange unicorn stallion.

The pony looked around, deep in thought. Maybe he should just sleep? And everything would become clearer? But the world was coming into a sharper focus, and dreaming away was no longer an option. Climbing to his hooves, he looked down, his expression filled with a ridiculous amount of shock. Hooves. He stared at them, shook them, and then shook his head, closed his eyes, then looked back at his hooves as though expecting them to change. His brain could not process the hooves. They couldn't be real, could they? Could he have hooves, when he had just been running from-

The stallion's head jerked abruptly. He heard a faint sound, like a faint calling. His ear twitched, and he tried walking with the hooves. He tripped, then stood again, placing one hoof in front of the other. Eyes watering with the pain of falling over, he walked slowly toward the voice. He stumbled only twice, and then stopped, seeing a pale, stunned face. And the voice, he knew the voice!

“Gordon!” The mare was crying out, eyes shut tight, and then, she looked at the stallion. “Gordon!” She breathed, eyes wide. The unicorn cocked his head. “Gordon Freeman, surely you remember me, Alyx Vance?”

Oh, yes! This was the beautiful woman he'd followed around on his adventures. She was a light, brown-sugary color, with dark brown almond shaped eyes. She had a black mane and tail, and a peculiar mark on her side, that was obviously a pistol. “Although,” She said, eying his mane and tail, “Gordon Freemane would be a better name,” She chuckled to herself, and Gordon glared at her, face shadowed by his mane, and she looked around. “Well, Gordon, where should we go?”

He shrugged, and pointed a hoof towards the east.

“Better direction than any. Have you seen these things on our heads? I know we're horses or something, but I mean, I've never seen a horse with such big eyes or a huge thing on it's head. I wonder...” She trotted carefully up to Gordon and licked his horn, and he immediately buckled.

“Yeah. Weak spot. Perfect.” She sighed. Gordon glared at her reproachingly. And he stood up, and grinned devilishly. He lapped at her horn, causing her to moan and sink to her knees. “Okay,” She gasped, “I'll stop, just don't do that again...”

A flicker of a smile crossed the orange unicorn's face, as he leaned against a rock wall.

There was a squeak, a shower of rocks, and then butter yellow pony fell down, landing between them. “Oh... my...” She attempted to hide herself in her mane, tail, and wings. “I am so sorry, I didn't realize you were... Having fun together...”

“So these things on our heads are for...?” Alyx blushed, drawing back from Gordon, who stepped back, face showing equal embarrassment.

“Oh, no, they're for magic...” The winged pony said, “But... some use them like that.”

“Magic.” Alyx said bluntly.

“Why doesn't your coltfriend say anything?” The pink-maned asked suddenly, eying Gordon apprehensively.

“He's not my... coltfriend, but he's mute. He can't say a word.”

Gordon shrugged hopelessly, and to that the pony said, “I've seen that in my animals, but I've never met a mute pony before. How do you know what he's going to say?”

“Um... I just guess? Or, Gordon tries to show be the best he can.” Alyx said, affronted.

“Well, my name is …........”

“Um, what was that?” She asked the timid, still-blushing pony.

“Fluttershy.” She whispered, face now a radiant crimson. Gordon would've laughed if he could, so he satisfied himself with a grin on his pony face.

“Well, my name is Alyx Vance, and my mute friend,” putting a tremendous amount of stress on friend, “Is Gordon Freemane.”

Gordon glared at her and she grinned back cheekily.

This was going to be a bad day, and he already knew it. Fluttershy said something about a town. Groaning inwardly, Gordon stood up and followed the slowly flying yellow pony. And as he did, something crossed his mind. Where's my HAZMAT suit? And my crowbar?! He looked around, and growled to himself. He wouldn't just find his Hazmat suit on the ground. In his annoyance, he pawed at the ground. They were trekking away, through the muddy, once peaceful forest, and Gordon Freemane trotted on, lost in a magical world of talking horses with wings and magic. And now, the magical world had two ponies who weren't ponies.

Equestria rejected the ponies, but they came anyway. In order to restore balance, Equestria was going to have to kill them. And that wouldn't be a problem. They were like ants on the sidewalk, and she was the evil little kid who was going to stomp on them.