CL4P-TP & HJ's misadvantures

by Oaoadil

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Main 7 (EqG), Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Sunset Shimmer, Alternate Universe
Length: 3164

Claptrap and HJ found themselves in Canterlot High

Because of Siren's trick, the mascot of Borderlands got sucked by the portal. Meanwhile because of Demon Sunset, the portal to hell was opened for...5 seconds, but that was enough for one sinner to escape. Now our both heroes/villains ended up in another dimension.

Published 2020-04-24 12:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-12 04:56:13 UTC

Chapter 1

Planet Pandora

After defeating Calypso twins the Vault Hunters and their allies were celebrating victory in the bar. There were all Vault Hunters from 1, 2, and 3 parts. Of course, they kept the minute of silence to honor their dead friends: Maya, Lilith, and Roland. Soon Claptrap began talking about some stuff and Sir Hammerlock instantly covered his ears.

"Ugh, please can someone shut him up?" he asked.

"With pleasure," said Mordecai grabbing his rifle.

"Hey, don't kill him. We will need him later," said Gaige. Suddenly the door opened and Amara entered the room.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"We are just thinking about sending this stupid robot to another planet," said Hammerlock. Meanwhile, Claptrap was talking about his previous adventures in FL4K. Amara drank the glass of alcohol and suddenly she came up with an idea:

"You know, recently I learned the teleportation trick, so who wants to watch?" she asked.

"I want and Claptrap wants to be your assistant," said Hammerlock.

"Oh what? Did someone call me?"

"Yeah, Amara needs your help in her trick."

"Oh alright, I'll help to my minion," said Claptrap with enthusiasm. Soon Amara concentrated her power and created a mini-portal.

"Oh, but what I need to dooAAAAGHH," the portal sucked the robot and closed. All room was silent.

"Hmm, at least we can finally enjoy the silence," said Axton.

"I can't disagree. Hehe," said Sir Hammerlock drinking his beer.

In another dimension

After the events of "MLP: FiM" Sunset Shimmer was sitting at her desk and doing her classwork. Still, the entire school was looking at her like a demon and bully. There were only 6 people with whom she was in a good relationship. When Twilight returned to her dimension, another Twilight showed up, but she was from this dimension. She was observing these events and Sunset explained her everything. Sci-Twi wanted to know about the new world, but the portal was closed.

"So when the portal will open?"

"To be honest, I don't know, but-" Suddenly Pinkie Pie began twitching.

"Pinkie, what happened?"

"Something big will happen." With those words, the storm began. Everyone ran to school to hide from the rain.

Hell

Screams, the smell of fire and blood, demons. Yeah, that's hell. The portal opened and the demon came out of it. Another demon approached him and asked:

"So, how did it go?"

"Terrible, these stupid girls hit me with their friendship beam into me. Ugh, I need some rest." Meanwhile, the unknown figure watched them and saw a portal. The figure quickly approached it, not making any noise. Soon he entered the portal and it closed.

"Um, did you hear something?"

"No, only screams."

In another universe

In the dark alley, the portal opened and the tall man came out of it. He fell to his knees and breathed heavily.

"Finally, finally. I am back! Now, I'll take revenge on these Vault hunters. Bandits. They will pay for everything. For Angel. For my daughter. Because I AM BACK! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" shouted the man into the sky.

Meanwhile

Another portal opened in the sky and a screaming robot fell to the ground. Soon the portal closed and robot moaned:

"Ugh, just wait when I come back, I will complain to my bodyguards and they will put you in the dungeon. What the? What the hell am I talking about? Hmm, I still have memories of Tiny Tina's game. Anyway, where the hell am I?" The robot looked at his surroundings and saw that he was in the city with colorful buildings.

"They are more colorful than any building on Pandora." Soon the rain began and the robot entered the random building. When he closed the door he saw his archenemy. Stairs.

"Aaagh, stairs. So we met again." Suddenly the robot saw a lift and decided to use it, but there was one problem. He could not reach the button.

"Aaagh, for fuck sake. Who the hell put this button so high? Ugh, I should wait for someone who will help me." With those words, Claptrap approached the corner and turned on the sleep mode.

Meanwhile, Sunset was walking to her apartment and thinking about the next day. Everyone seems to hate her, but she used to it. Suddenly she heard a laugh. She turned and saw a man. He was wearing sneakers, blue jeans, a yellow T-shirt, vest and cloak. What really caught Sunset's attention was his mask. Sunset approached him and asked:

"Excuse me, sir, are you alright?" The man turned to her and said:

"I feel alive! Hehe, on which planet am I?"

"Earth." That surprised man.

"Hmm, Earth. The motherland of humans. In my world it was destroyed by the sun." thought the man.

"Alright, sorry for bothering you, but can I wait in your house until the rain stop?" Sunset began thinking: this man was very strange and asked her about the planet. However, she remembered her defeat, so she thought nothing worse could happen.

"Fine, follow me." With those words, they headed to the apartment. When they entered the building they saw a strange box in the corner. Suddenly it transformed into a robot and said:

"Hi there, can you-" Robot looked at the man, while he stared at the robot.

"Agh, you!" both shouted in unison. Then the robot charged at the man and tackled him to the ground. Man hit robot in the took off the robot from him. Suddenly Sunset shouted:

"Stop!" Both of them stared at her.

"Can you explain to me what the hell is going on here?"

"This man is a tyrant! You must kill him right now!"

"Shut up! Just call the lift and we will explain to you everything, OK?" Sunset nodded and pressed the button. After a few seconds, the doors opened and the trio entered the cabin. Then after realization Sunset said:

"BTW, we didn't even introduce ourselves." Everyone looked at her. Then the robot said:

"I am CL4P-TP or you can call me Claptrap."

"My name is Sunset shimmer." The man chuckled to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What's your name?"

"Call me Jack. Handsome Jack."

Chapter 2

One explanation later (with a little lie and exaggeration, of course) What? I don't want to spoil my reputation there.

Jack, what the hell are you doing here?

Oh, I need to go.

"Wait, let me think," said Sunset sitting on the couch. "You both are from another universe where you lived on the Pandora. You were working in the town, while you owned a company "Hyperion", yeah?"

"Yes," said Claptrap.

"Indeed," confirmed Jack.

"But you were killed by those bandits called Vault Hunters and you were sent because of Siren's trick."

"Yeah."

"Yes, sadly."

"Oh well, I believe to you." That really surprised Jack and Claptrap.

"Wait really, you really believe in this?" asked Jack.

"Well, I am from another dimension, where everything is similar to this place, but in that dimension, there are no people, only ponies."

"Ponies? Hahahahaha!" laughed Jack.

"Yeah, also I'm a unicorn."

"Hahahahaha, you mean that unicorn with wings and horn?"

"No that's the alicorn. Unicorns have only a horn," said Sunset.

"Hahaha, alright that's enough, hahaha!"

"Ugh, anyway, it's too late now. Let's get some sleep." With those words, Sunset gave to Jack a pillow with a blanket. While Claptrap just slept in the corner. Everyone fell asleep. Suddenly Jack opened his eyes and approached Claptrap.

"Let's see what happened while I was dead," he murmured to himself. He took his device and connected it to the robot. Soon he found many blueprints of many inventions in Claptrap's memory like New-U Station, loader, Moon Base, etc. Also, he found out about the events of Borderlands 3.

"Hmm, at least this bitch, Lilith, is dead," thought Jack. Soon he copied all information in his flash drive (Hell knows, from where the hell he has it). Then he lied on the couch and began thinking about what he will do next.

"Tomorrow I should study this world's policy, it seems like this world is less modern and technological than my one. With those blueprints, I can easily become the smartest and handsome, of course, a man in this world. Hahaha, I feel like I am a scientist among neanderthals. Pfhahahahaha! But now I need some sleep," thought to himself, Jack. Soon he fell asleep. In the morning Sunset got up and began eating her cereal. Meanwhile, Jack tried to cook the meat, but it ended up with the smoke and burned pan.

"Damnit, when I will become the ruler of this world, I will hire the cook!" he shouted. "Alright, I still like cereal." With those words, he picked up the box with cereal and put all content in the bowl. In the meantime, Claptrap was observing the Internet.

"Oh, these humans are totally stupid. Most of their store of knowledge is consisting of videos with kittens, recipes of pies, etc. They definitely need some progress," he said. Sunset picked up his school bag and headed to the door, but she was stopped by her guests.

"Where are you going?" asked Jack.

"I am going to school. You stay here," answered Sunset, and closed the door. Jack and Claptrap looked at each other.

Canterlot High

Sunset entered the school and was met by insulting and whispering. 'Usual day' she thought. Soon she met her friends.

"Hi."

"Hi," said everyone.

"How was your yesterday?" asked Twilight.

"You know, as usual. But.."

"But what?"

"I met a man and a robot from another world." Girls looked at their friend with confusion.

"From another world?"

"Yeah. Their planet is called Pandora. The man was a leader of the company "Hyperion" and tried to make a Pandora to paradise, but he was stopped by bandits called Vault Hunters. A vault is a hidden place with alien technologies and weapons. The robot was helping Vault Hunters," told Sunset. Girls were looking at her with disbelief.

"Umm, are you sure that you weren't fooled?" asked Applejack.

"I saw a robot, so no."

"But what are their names?" asked Pinkie.

"Robot's name is Claptrap and the man's name is-"

"Handsome Jack!" Main 7 turned around and saw a masked man with a robot. Girls dropped their jaws.

"What are you doing here? I said to you to stay in the flat!" shouted Sunset.

"We just got bored and decided to visit your school," said Jack. Then he looked at girls.

"Hey girls, I am Handsome Jack. The most handsome and smartest person in this place!" claimed Jack.

"Really? Prove that you are smart," said Twilight.

"As you wish." With those words, he pulled out the pistol, which materialized from blue digital cubes.

"That's a compact deep backpack which allows you to take more things and stuff. And no worries about the weight because you can lift it by finger, even if the luggage weighs 50 kg," said Jack. All girls were surprised.

"Wow, that's so cool. I hope that you can show us more technologies!" admired Twilight.

"Yeah, we have a loooot of stuff to show you," said Claptrap.

"Wow, you are a robot! Can you shoot lasers?" asked Pinkie.

"Nope."

"Anyway, what is that place name?"

"Canterlot High," said Twilight. Jack burst into laughter.

"Hahahahahahaha! Really? Canterlot? Hahahahaha!"

"What is so funny?"

"Hahahaha, alright, first of all, you need to fire, or better to kill, the guy who gave such stupid name to this school. Second of all, I laughed because of horse pun in this title. Hahaha!" Girls looked at him with confusion.

"Hahaha, okay what're your names?"

"My name's Twilight Sparkle."

'Hahahahaha! What a stupid name!" Twilight glared at him. "I will call you Smartypants. Wait, wait. You are a girl and you don't wear any pants. Hmm... Oh! I will call you...Smartdress. Yes, Smartdress. That suits you," said Jack emphasizing 'suits you' by pointing at her with both index fingers. Twilight just frowned.

"I am Pinkamina Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie Pie!" shouted Pinkie.

"Pfhahahaha! That's more stupid than Twilight! Pfhahahaha! I will call you...Goofball."

"Yay! I have my own nickname!"

"Yeah, that's nickname really suits you," said Jack. He approached Twilight and asked:

"Hey Smartdress, is she always acting like this?"

"First of all, call me right. Second of all, yes. She just has much sugar in her diet," answered Twilight.

"Okay. Who is next?"

"I am Applejack. I am working on the farm," said the girl in a cowboy hat.

"Pffthahahha! You will be...cowboy! Wait, no. You are a girl... Cowgirl!" Applejack glared at him.

"I am Rainbow Dash."

"Pffthahahahaha! I will call you lesbi!"

"Why? What does that mean?"

"Lesbi means lesbian."

"What does mean it?"

"Really? You don't know, okay. It's when a woman loves a woman. Understand?" Rainbow Dash blushed and shouted:

"Hey, why in tarnation you think that I...like girls..in this way?"

"You have a rainbow-colored hair."

"And what?"

"Rainbow is associating with lesbians and gays."

"Whatever, not call me lesbi!"

"Change your hair's color and I will think about it." Rainbow Dash glared at him.

"My name is Rarity," said the girl with violet hair.

"Hmm, okay, normal name. So what do you like?"

"I have my own boutique where I make clothes and design them."

"I will call you Fashionetta! Because you like fashion clothes," said Jack.

"Thanks." Then Jack looked at the last girl. She was hiding behind her hair. Sunset whispered:

"She's just too shy." Jack nodded and approached her.

"Hey, girl. What's your name?" Fluttershy looked at him and said:

"I am Fluttershy." Jack looked at her and said:

"I will call you a Shy Girl." Fluttershy just looked at him. Then Jack said:

"Well, we introduced ourselves. And Sunset, I was thinking about which nickname I will give to you. Well, firstly I wanted to call you Bacon girl. Because of your hair color. But I think I will call you...Demon girl, because of your hair color again. Anyway, see you later, I need to look around." With those words, he headed to the random direction leaving Main 7 with the robot. Sunset frowned because of her nickname.

"Is he always acting like this?" asked Twilight to Claptrap.

"He is a sadistic, evil, and ugly villain! He tried to wipe out the whole population on Pandora, destroyed all my brothers and sisters, tried to wake up the fucking alien monster, and...he's ugly," said Claptrap. All girls were shocked by this.

"But, he doesn't look like a villain," said Fluttershy.

"He more looks like an egoistical and high-minded person," said Twilight.

"Maybe something bad happened in his past and that's why he became so mad," offered Pinkie.

"Well, I don't know about his past," said Claptrap. Meanwhile, Jack was walking around and looking at his surroundings. All students were looking at him with surprise and confusion. Suddenly he saw two teenage girls who were bullying three little girls.

"Oh poor kids, what are you gonna do? Come to your mom's and cry! Oh wait, you don't have them! Hahaha!" said Diamond Tiara. CMC was on the verge of crying. Then suddenly all heard:

"Hey, you know that it's bad to bully little kids. Especially insulting their parents." Everyone turned around and saw a masked man.

"Who are you?"

"I am a Handsome Jack."

"Pfft, a silly name for the man who is wearing the mask." Jack's face became angry and he grabbed her head and smashed it into the locker. CMC gasped and covered their mouths. They looked at Jack.

"What? He insulted me," said Jack.

"Thanks," said the yellow girl.

"You are welcome, so what're your names?"

"I am Applebloom. That's Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo." Jack smirked and girls looked at him with questionable look.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"This is Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon."

"Pffthahahahahaha! Seriously, Silver Spoon! That's the most idiotic name that I have ever heard in my life! Hahahahaha!" Silver Spoon was looking at Jack and ran away sobbing. Suddenly Main 7 and Claptrap approached the group. Applejack asked:

"Applebloom, what happened?"

"Diamond Tiara was bullying us again, but Jack came here and knocked out her," said Applebloom. All girls looked at Diamond Tiara, who was moaning and rubbing her head. Suddenly Jack asked to Applebloom:

"Is that cowgirl your sister?"

"Yes, but her name is Applejack."

"I know but it's just a little silly."

"Sweetie Belle is Rarity's sister and Scootaloo is...Rainbow Dash's sister."

"Why did you make a pause when you began telling about Scootaloo?"

"Well, she just doesn't have parents and Rainbow Dash is taking care of her."

"Oh okay." Jack approached Scootaloo, put his hand on her shoulder, and said:

"Don't feel bad. I know how it feels to be without parents." Scootaloo smiled and said:

"Thanks." Jack then rubbed his chin and said:

"You will be Applegirl, Fashionetta Jr. and Bi."

"Why am I Bi?" asked Scootaloo.

"That's mean bisexual."

"What means bisexual?"

"Look at the dictionary. Oh, and Lesbi, I will call you Li. If you don't mind." With those words, Jack went away, while CMC looked at each other and headed to the library. Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide and she quickly followed CMC shouting:

"Girls! Come back! Don't look at the dictionary!"

Principal's cabinet

"Ugh! How it can be so difficult to find a good candidate?" grumbled Celestia.

"Nah, don't feel bad, sister. I am sure we will find a good person, who will replace you." Suddenly they heard the knock. Sisters looked at each other and asked:

"Who is there?"

Cafeteria

Main 7 and Claptrap were sitting at the table and chatting, catching curious eyes because of the robot. Suddenly they heard:

"Students Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer. I want to see you in my cabinet," said principal through the microphone. Main 7 looked at each other and headed to the principal's cabinet with Claptrap following them. When they approached the door, they saw Principal and Vice-Principal standing in front of the door with luggage. Twilight asked:

"Principal Celestia, what happened?"

"Oh, good afternoon Twilight. I just wanted to say that I and my sister will go on vacation for a week." Girls gasped and Applejack asked:

"But who will be the principal?"

"I hope it won't be Crysalis."

"No worries. Luckily, I found a good man for this work. He's in my cabinet now. Goodbye." With those words, sisters left Main 7. Girls looked at each other and opened the door. They saw a table and a chair. They didn't see the new principal because he was hidden behind the chair's back. Suddenly the phone rang and the voice said:

"Principal Celestia, this is Mrs. Crysalis. I want to ask you something."

"Principal Celestia has been replaced, sweetcheeks. Now you are working for me."

"What the? Who is this?"

"Call me Jack, honey." The chair turned around and revealed the new principal. All girls were shocked.

"Handsome Jack."