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Beware of Leprechaun
Homegrown Chonclas
Home Sweet Chaos
3-H34d3d Sch1z0phr3n1c L1z4rd

Beware of Leprechaun
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The Marvelous Misadventures of Oddball Scruffington the third, twice removed

Beware of Leprechaun

Author's Note

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Beware of Leprechaun

The best thing about school; Summer vacation.

The sun rises in the sky, as bright as ever, signalling the beginning of a new day. As the light peers through the windows of every home, ponies begin to stir and rise from their restful sleep. One such unremarkable unicorn is following suit. The light beams through his window, illuminating his bright blue coat and messy yellow mane. He opens his shining yellow eyes and slowly begins to sit up in his bed. He feels relaxed and ready to take on the day. The colt wiggles his form out of his blanket and hops off of the bed, making his way over to the bathroom just outside of his bedroom. It takes less than three full steps to cross the hall and enter the private room. Once in, he closes the door and turns to face the sink directly behind him. Closing in on the porcelain structure, he grabs his toothbrush in his magic and-

"NYLON!"

The pony known as Nylon drops his toothbrush into the sink with a yelp, his head snapping to the side just in time to see an all too familiar appendage grab his shower curtain and pull it to the side. With the obstruction now out of the way, he can see his human 'friend' resting on his knees within the large tub; As usual, the human's one patch of hair on his head is a complete mess and his body lightly trembling. That never-ending crazed look in his eyes is as lively as ever. The unicorn places a hoof to his chest and takes several deep breaths to steady his heart. He swears that this so-called friend of his will be the death of him; If not through antics alone, then through the scares that continue to lower his ever shortening life-expectancy.

"What the heck, Odd!?" Nylon snaps at the human, still breathing deeply to regain his composure. "Stop doing that! You're going to give me a heart attack!"

"Hush!" The human retaliates, grabbing a nearby bar of soap and throwing it at the pony. Nylon yelps again and tries to dodge the projectile, but manages to get hit where his cutie mark should be. "Now listen! I have something incredible to show you! Something that could very well change the world as we know it!"

Nylon can already feel the oncoming headache of yet another one of Oddball's rants. "It's way too early for this." The pony mutters to himself before turning his attention back to the human. "Okay, but can it wait until after I'm done getting ready?"

Oddball thinks hard about this, his expression twisting in thought before he settles on a decision. "I can give you ten minutes. Any more and it might be too late!"

"I can work with that." Nylon says with a sigh, waiting patiently for his friend to leave. Much to his own dismay, excluding the consistent shaking, Oddball doesn't move a single muscle. He simply continues to sit there in the tub and stare at him. "Can I have a bit of privacy?"

"Do you want me to close the curtain?" Oddball asks, pointing to the colorful, plastic tarp he was hidden behind earlier.

"No, I want you to leave my bathroom." Nylon replies with a bit of venom in his tone. It's one thing to lie in wait in the bathroom, it's another sit there and watch the whole time. On top of being downright creepy, it's just plain awkward.

"I cannot do that." Oddball begins, wiggling a bit to emphasize his point.

Nylon raises a brow at this, feeling more annoyed than anything else. "Why not?"

"Because I lined the interior of your bathtub with super glue and now I'm stuck." Despite what was just said, Oddball is remarkably calm about his situation of literally being glued in place.

Nylon felt the familiar twitch in his left eye as Oddball explained his current position. This twitch is something that happens too often these days, but never existed before meeting the human that is now stuck in his tub. "W-w...Why!?"

"It was to protect you!" Oddball yells out in defense of his actions. "I didn't want something to come crawling through your drains so I put glue around everything!"

Nylon growls a bit at hearing this, but keeps his cool. "I'll just use my parent's bathroom..." He goes to pick up his toothbrush with his magic again, only to be met with nothing. At first he wonders if he's doing the spell wrong. However, upon further examination, he discovers that the spell is working fine but the brush itself is now stuck to the sink bowl. His eye twitches once more before he turns around and opens the door, stomping down the hall as his body shakes in anger. "Mom! Dad!"

"Yes! Call forth the peasants!" Oddball yells out from the tub. "Their experience may just be enough to free me!"

Nylon steps out of his house nearly an hour later. After a quick shower and a filling breakfast, he's feeling refreshed and at ease. He takes a deep breath through his nose, taking in the scent of the outside world as he basks in the warm sunlight. Looking around, he takes in the sight of Ponyville; his birthplace and his home. Truly, there is no place as peaceful and tranquil.

"Incoming!"

Nylon's content expression falls as he looks to his left just in time to see Oddball come flying out of his living room window, curling up into a ball before hitting the ground and rolling a good foot and a half before unfurling himself and getting to his feet. The unicorn can't help but to sigh in aggravation. "Why can't you ever use the door?"

"Because doors don't like wigglies!" Oddball responds loudly, holding up his hands and wiggling his wigglies in front of his own face. Feeling his point had been adequately proven the human runs to the pony's side, standing nearly twice the height of Nylon. "Now come with me! Avenuture and riches await!'

"Adventure...You mean adventure."

Nylon didn't have a second to react as Oddball's wigglies grab onto his muzzle and pulls it close to the human's face. "Don't sass me, Nipple Twist." The human lets go of the unicorn's muzzle and then slaps him hard enough to make an audible smack. "Now grab the biggest stick you can find and follow me." Oddball finishes, walking off to somewhere and leaving the pony to rub his cheek before going off to find a stick. As much as he hates going along with his friend's ideas, it's a lot less painful to just do as he says.

Upon finding the requested item, Nylon began his search for the human, eventually finding him digging through a garbage can outside of the Carousel Boutique. Despite asking many questions as to what he was doing, none were given a comprehensible answer. Once Oddball was satisfied, the two set off to the outskirts of Ponyville before leaving the small town entirely. Much to the unicorn's surprise, the human leading him was rather silent throughout the whole trip; a very rare, but welcomed, change in most cases. However, the lack of communication at this particular time is both worrisome and slightly unsettling. Before long, the two came upon an opening with a hole in the ground big enough to fit both of them going down side-by-side.

Oddball stops at the edge and looks down into the deep, dark hole. His near-constant trembling causes the dirt to flake and fall deeper into the small abyss standing in front of them. Without even turning to face Nylon, the human holds out his hand and maneuvers his wigglies. "Give me the bonker."

Without even thinking Nylon obeys and hoofs over the stick, placing it into his friend's hand. Oddball's wigglies tighten around the stick before his free hand goes into his pocket and pulls out a cracked gem and a crumpled up piece of paper. He holds the gem over the hole and lets it go, letting it fall into the hole before taking a step back.

With the gem now lost, Oddball shoves the paper into Nylon's face, rubbing it against his head as if trying to physically cram the words into the unicorn's brain. "Read. Read this. Read it loud."

Nylon raises a brow, capturing the paper in his magical grasp to levitate it at a respectable reading distance. His face shifts in confusion as he reads the note in his head. His eyes look questioningly at Oddball, who is staring back at him with an intense expression. Seeing how the human looks way too ready to tear through his own skin, the pony submits and reads the note aloud.

"Oh, nooo-" Nylon says in a very unconvincing tone, something that Oddball notes and will likely punish him for later. "I dropped my expensive gem down this hole!" The pony struggles to keep from rolling his eyes at the obvious lie. The spastic creature he calls friend could at least try to have any of this make sense. Just a little bit. Just one time...Please? "This gem cart is just sooo heavy. I should leave it here and go for help." After finishing the last line, the colt lowers the note and looks back to the biped, who is staring intently at the hole in the dirt and holding the stick high above his head.

Much to Nylon's dismay, something actually happens. He can hear something scurrying deep down in the hole. Panting, growling, snarls and more echo out of the pit and into the world. Fear quickly begins to grip the young pony's heart and he steps back, sending a look of worry to Oddball. The human in question continues to hover beside the hole, with a large, twisted grin plastered across his face. His smile is so wide that the colt can see those unstintingly sharp teeth in the back of the human's mouth. The commotion from below draws nearer, until finally something comes out.

A tall, canine-esque creature pulls it's upper body out of the hole. Its eyes are crazed and it seems excited. The creature pants heavily, its long tongue hanging out of the front of its mouth as it looks around. Oddball has moved to stand behind the overgrown mutt as it searches for the promised riches in the form of glistening gems. Seeing no treasure to be had, the dog's gaze rests on Nylon. It's expression shifts to one of pure rage, realizing it had been lied to. It lets out a growl and slowly lifts itself from the hole.

Nylon is three steps away from that heart attack he mentioned as the diamond dog ascends from the pit it crawled out of. Fate smiled upon the pony this day though. There is a loud crack from behind the fur covered biped before its eyes roll into the back of its skull. The dog falls forward, its upper body resting on the edge of the hole, the weight being enough to keep it from falling back down. Meanwhile, the colt no more than a few feet from the unconscious creature is praying to Faust in thanks for extending his time on this earth.

Oddball walks around to stand in front of the diamond dog, casting the now broken stick aside as he looks the creature over with only mild fascination. He hit the mutt pretty hard, but that doesn't mean that he will be out for long. They will need to act fast if his plan is to be executed properly. His head jerks to the side, his eyes locking onto the petrified colt standing in place like some kind of stupid...stupid! The human points a wiggly at the dog's backside, "Take him by the paws! I'll grab him by the bald..."

After a short argument- and maybe a kick or two to the head- this human and pony show was on the move. Oddball had the diamond dog's head locked in his armpit, his short arms wrapping around the back of its skull to keep his upper body suspended. Nylon is more accurately described as being under the diamond dog, its lower body resting on the pony's back with its tail hole uncomfortably close to the colt's muzzle. Their trip was not a long one, only intending to move the dog to the nearest tree. Once there, they set the dog down and Oddball, after pulling a rope from...somewhere, got to work typing it to the tree. He made sure to pay special attention to the diamond dog's arms and hands. With their capture now bound and immobile, they could continue-

"What the hay, Oddball!" Nylon snaps at his friend. The human has put them into some crazy situations before, but this is nuts. It's practically a crime! It could very well be a crime! Maybe! "We just dognapped a diamond dog! A diamond dog! Do you have any idea how dangerous these things are!? We could have been killed!"

For the first time in his life, Nylon saw a look that he never thought he would see on Oddball's face. Not in a million years; Disappointment. Tried and true. The human is upset and it's clear on his features. "W-we...Y-ou mean..." The colt leans forward, his eyes widening at the human's stuttering and strange reaction. Perhaps, for once, he actually feels bad. The child clenches his eyes shut and takes calming breath before turning his full attention to his pony friend. "You mean to tell me...That isn't a leprechaun..."

Nylon feels something strange in his head, like a pulsing in his brain. His eye involuntarily twitches as he stares at the human waiting expectantly for an answer. Gritting his teeth, the colt loses his composure and throws all caution to the wind. "Of course it isn't! What the hay is wrong with your brain!?" He finally snaps, incapable of holding in his anger any longer. "What in the wide, wide world of Equestria would make you think, even for a second, that a diamond dog is a leprechaun!?"

"Have you ever seen a leprechaun?" Oddball inquires, both appearing and sounding surprisingly calm about this whole situation.

It takes everything in Nylon's power to keep himself from punching the human in the side of the head. No pony can possibly be this stupid. "Of course I haven't. Because leprechauns aren't re-!"

"Exactly!" Oddball calls out matter-of-factly, taking a few steps closer to Nylon so they are only standing mere inches apart. "You've never seen one, so how would you know that it isn't a leprechaun?"

"Diamond dogs are not leprechauns!"

"But they could be working together!"

"Oh for the love of-!"

An unfamiliar groan pulls their attention back to the tree. The diamond dog Oddball had tied down earlier is slowly returning to the waking world. Its legs kick out a bit, scratching at the dirt as it lifts its head upright. Blinking focus back into its vision, the dog spots the two creatures standing in front of it. He can easily recognize one as a pony. The other one, without fur, that one is a mystery. There's something about it though, something strangely familiar and terrifying. The dog makes an attempt to stand, only to fail in even being able to do so. The mutt's eyes widen as it looks down at its bindings and begins to struggle against them.

The diamond dog's struggles are in vain, as it can hardly find enough room to wiggle, let alone break out of its rope-prison. The sound of quickly approaching footsteps pull its attention upward just in time to see a furless hand cross its vision. A loud smack is heard and the dog feels a pain on its face as it eyes the small, but oddly scary, creature standing above it. "Tell me where the gold is, you little green monster!" The human yells, leveling a wiggly in the dog's direction. "Or so help me, I will eat your skin!"

The diamond dog's ears lower, going flat against its head as it whines in response to the threat. However, the dog doesn't get the chance to respond as the colt standing not too far back begins to step forward. "First of all; he's purple. Not green." Closing the distance further, the pony rears up on Oddball and jabs a hoof in his side. “Secondly; He's a DIAMOND DOG! Not a frickin leprechaun!"

Oddball glances back and forth between Nylon, who is glaring at him fiercely, and the diamond dog, that is nodding its head in agreement with Nylon. The human's sights rest somewhere in the middle before he stretches an arm out and smacks the dog again, getting another whine from the larger creature. "Where are you hiding the leprechauns!?" The human grabs the dog, who is trembling terribly in his hold, by the vest and gives him a shake. "Are you protecting them!? Working for them!? Mounting them!? Tell me your secrets!!!"

This torture only lasts a few seconds before Nylon bucks Oddball with his back legs, forcing the human to lose his grip and sending him tumbling to the side. With that out of the way, the colt moves closer to the slinking diamond dog. How something as small and weird as Oddball could scare a creature of this size is beyond the young pony's comprehension. He captures the rope in his magic, making quick work of untying the knots holding the dog in place. "You don't have long." He says to the now-free diamond dog, discarding the rope as the creature gets to its feet, but keeps its head low. "Quick! Get out of here before he gets back up!"

The diamond dog nods, "Thank you, little pony." He says with a small bow, quickly moving its legs to put as much distance between them as possible. "Thank you!" The dog runs back to the hole in the ground and wastes no time diving back down, disappearing into the abyss below.

"NoOoOOoooOOO!" Nylon hears from his side, looking over to see Oddball staring at the pit from the distance, sitting on his knees as he reaches his hands up and digs his wigglies into his hair. "We were going to be rich! RICH!!!" The colt lets out a sigh and rubs his temple with a hoof.

The journey home felt much longer than it actually was. Oddball wouldn't stop ranting and raving about how the diamond dogs were hired on to keep the leprechauns and their gold safe underground. He had come up with over a dozen different plans on how to sneak down into their home and take it; One of which involved integrating into their society and taking on dog wives to blend in until they rose through the ranks and could reach the gold without arousing suspicion. Nylon hardly registered any of the human's delusional fantasies or his rants, having tuned him out five minutes into their trip. During that time, he wondered how this all came to be, how his life became so bizarre and complicated. He's known Oddball for years, they grew up together, played together. But, as they got older, Nylon grew to appreciate the simple things. He enjoyed peaceful walks, spending some quiet time with his family, reading and writing. Oddball, on the other hoof, became something else entirely. He was a weird one from the beginning and he only got weirder as time went on. He was Nylon's polar opposite in many ways, especially with the way he carries himself. Nylon liked to go with the flow, but Oddball would force himself into some sort of twisted leadership position. That human would command an army of sex zombies if he could.

A loud crunch pulls Nylon out of his own head. He looks to the side to see his long-time friend, his only friend, Oddball. The human is holding half of an egg in his hand as they walk, chewing on- what he can only assume is- the other half of the egg. A small trail of gooey egg yolk runs down the child's chin as he grinds the shell to bits with his teeth. The colt suppresses a gag as he sees this. He knows better than to ask; but, "Where did you get that?"

"Found it." Oddball replies, still looking forward as they close the distance between them and Ponyville. His usual trembling is quite visible to all and it jolts slightly as the human tosses the other half of the egg into his mouth and begins chewing once more. "The game is set!" He exclaims, chunks of uncooked egg whites and shell flying out of his mouth as he speaks. "I have a plan, I have my loyal minion. All will be good in the coming days."

Nylon rolls his eyes and turns his attention toward the town, if only to avert his gaze from Oddball's most recent eating habit. They are greeted with the usual scene as they begin marching through Ponyville; Ponies are still wandering the streets left and right. A few of the grown ponies stop and wave to Nylon, but pay little mind to the biped at his side. The adults here were so nice, unlike the fillies and colts his age.

"Intruder!"

Nylon chances to look at Oddball as he yells this. He's pointing at something in front of them. He follows the human's wiggly, which is aimed at one particular mare. As per usual, many of the surrounding ponies just ignore him. The mare he's pointing at, however, is making her way directly toward them. Her coat is bright, shining red in color. Her mane is similar, but darker. Not by much, but enough to notice. She is donning her usual black-rimmed eyeglasses and the mark on her flank is one of an open book and quill. The colt recognizes her instantly, having known her almost as long as he's known Oddball.

"Hello, Miss Gaze." Nylon greets her with a wave of his hoof while his friend continues to point accusingly at her.

The mare offers a small wave in response, stopping just shy of the two young-lings in front of her. "A pleasure as always, Nylon." She says in her signature, sweet tone. Her voice almost always has a loving, motherly effect to it. She directs her attention to Oddball, who finally lowers his hand and stares at her with his tongue poking through his lips. "And how's my little colt doing today?"

"I got to play with a dog." Oddball replies, giving her the abridged version of the events that transpired earlier today. He bounces in place for a few seconds before charging the mare, crashing into her with enough force to cause the grown pony to fall back onto her hindquarters. The human wraps his arms around her, resting his chin on her barrel so he can look up at her.

Ruby Gaze is taken by surprise at first, but that passes by pretty quickly. It's amazing the things you get used to when raising a colt like this. "Well it sounds like you had a lot of fun." She says softly, looking down at Oddball before giving him a look of confusion as she holds out a hoof and wipes a thin layer of goo from his chin. "What's all over your face, hon?"

"Egg." Oddball answers plainly.

A somewhat stern look crosses Ruby's face as she lowers her hoof, her eyes locked onto her son's. "Really?" It's amazing to Nylon how she can deal with her child as well as she does. He can tell that she's not exactly happy, but she's still remarkably calm. "Please tell me you didn't get into Fluttershy's chicken coop and steal another egg."

Oddball goes silent for a moment, meanwhile Nylon is trying to figure out how he would have done that given that he has been with the human all day. "What is this egg you speak of?"

Ruby lets out a small huff. Her eyes suddenly light up, a look of excitement spreads across her face as she takes in a deep breath. "Do you wanna play, Oddball?" Her son's eyes mimic her own, going wide at the idea of playtime. "How about another game of Bobble?" The human child doesn't say a word, simply bouncing up and down slightly in front of her as he releases his grip on the mare. "Ready? One...two...bobble!"

As she finishes her countdown, Ruby presses the frog of her hooves to Oddball's ears, covering his ears completely as she slowly rocks his head around in circles, which he seems to be really pleased with as he hums in delight. With him now thoroughly distracted- and unable to hear anything- the mare looks over at Nylon with an almost pleading expression. "Please tell me he didn't get into too much trouble today."

Nylon thinks carefully on how to answer this, "Well he...we uh...I tried to..." The colt lowers his head and lets out a defeated sigh before looking up into Ruby's eyes with a look of exhaustion and disappointment. "You...don't wanna know..."

Ruby feels all the strength practically fall out of her body, her hooves dropping down to the ground and allowing her son to hear once more. "Sweet Celestia," She says in a hush tone as she turns her attention to the human child she has been raising for so long. "what am I going to do with you?"

Oddball's response is to wrap his arms around her neck and then fall back, letting his mother handle his weight as he dangles backward. "Hug me, love me, name me Harold the Hairless."

That little comment manages to get a laugh out of Ruby, one that she desperately needed. Taking a breath, she stands back up on her four hooves. "I think it's time I got you home and got you fed." She says to her son, who straightens himself out so he's standing up on his own again. "I don't want you ransacking anymore chicken coops so you can 'devour the unborn.' anymore."

Oddball's eyes are suddenly full with panic. The human releases his hold on his mother and sprints to Nylon's side, pulling the colt into a one-armed hug that easily forces the air out of the small pony's lungs. "We can't go home yet!" He calls out, his death grip on his pony friend only increasing in strength. "I have so much I have to do today! SO many preparations to make the invasion of the leprechaun hive! I'm a busy Sir Scruffington!"

Seeing how dangerous this situation is getting, Ruby pulls out her trump card. "If you can hold off on your invasion for just one more day, I'll make you your favorite; Smore cakes~"

Oddball’s usual trembling nearly doubles as he releases Nylon. He turns to face the colt, grabbing him by the muzzle and pulling the pony's face close to his own. "We will finish this tomorrow." On that note, the human takes off like a bullet toward his house, leaving behind both his mother and his confused friend. "Smore cakes!!!"

Nylon rolls his jaw as he watches Oddball running off like the loon he is. The colt spares one last glance to his friend's mother, Ruby. Again, he knows better than to ask, but a child's curiosity is almost insatiable. "What’s a smore cake?"

"A nightmare and a heart attack waiting to happen." Ruby responds almost instantly. She offers the colt one last look and shakes her head. "Trust me, you don't want to know." Letting out a sigh, the mare begins following after her son, albeit at a much slower pace. "Have a good rest of your day, Nylon."

"You too."

The walk home was significantly more peaceful now that Oddball was out of the picture. Nylon thanks Fuast that he finally has some peace and quiet. At least, mostly. He passes by a group of ponies his age standing out by the school, all playing around in the playground. He quickly averts his gaze and tunes them out. Even while ignoring them, he can still hear their calls of ridicule. It used to affect him more a few years back, but he's gotten used to it. That's what he likes to think, at least. The colt slowly comes to the house that he calls home and trots up to the door, pushing it open with a hoof before stepping inside and closing it behind him.

It doesn't take long for his appearance to attract attention. His father, Gemstone; a turquoise blue stallion with purple eyes and a short, spiky purple mane approaches. He's wearing a pink apron around his neck and has a mixing bowl and spoon held up in his magic. "Welcome back, sweetie!" He greets pleasantly, "How was your day?"

Nylon really has to think hard on how to answer this, but nothing sounds right. With his mind drawing a blank, he settles on his usual response to this question. "It was...interesting. You know how it is."

Gemstone can tell that today has been exhausting for his son. He can see it in his colt's eyes; he was tired and worn down. It's no surprise. Nylon always comes home like this whenever he hangs around Oddball. "I understand, dear." He says in a relaxing tone. "Why don't you go upstairs and wash up. I got all of the glue cleaned up and I'll have lunch ready shortly."

Nylon smiles at his father, nodding to him. "Thanks dad."

Gemstone nods in return before turning around and going back to the kitchen to finish the meal. As he leaves, Nylon begins making his way to the stairs leading up to his room. However, there's some strange noises coming from the room beside the steps that catch his attention. At first, he assumes that his father is just messing with things in the kitchen. Then he notices that he's saying something and trying to be quiet about it. He knows better, but...

Nylon takes a step back from the stairs and leans closer to the dividing wall between him and the kitchen. His ear flicks lightly as he listens in to the conversation on the other side. It's difficult to make out at first, but he can easily recognize the sounds of his father and his mother talking in the other room. The first voice he tunes in on is his mother. She's saying-

"Why are you still letting him see that...thing?"

"That thing has a name, Sapphire!"

"I don't care what you want to call it, but it's not safe to let Nylon hang around it!"

"I know Oddball is...well, odd, but-"

"The kid's a bucking freak! You know this! Everypony in town knows this! Ever since Ruby found it and brought it back here, it's been nothing but trouble for the whole town!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Tell Nylon to stop hanging out with the only friend he has? No pony else gives Nylon the time of day! We should thank our lucky stars that he has at least one friend! Would you rather he just sit up in his room alone all day?"

"It's better than him sticking around that monster all the time!"

"You're such a-"

Nylon pulls his ear away from the wall. There's a pit in his stomach as he slowly moves back to the stairs and ascends the steps. His head hangs low, his ears flat against his head as he tunes out the world once again. He can see drops of water falling onto the carpeted steps as he trots his way to his room and closes the door behind him. The colt's body feels as though it's moving on its own as he goes over to the window and sits down in front of it. Staring out the window, he wonders how things got this way. How did his life get so bizarre and so complicated?

This is a question Nylon often asks himself, but he has yet to find an answer. Taking a breath he looks over at the small cabinet by his bed. His horn becomes alight, pulling open the drawer and levitating a small, black sack out from it. Pulling it over to him, the sack opens and is set down on the windowsill. He pushes the sack with a hoof, knocking it over and allowing several colorful marbles to roll out. He creates a small wall with his magic to keep them from rolling off as he looks down at them with an unsure expression. He can still remember the day Oddball had gifted them to him;

It was his first time going to school, his very first day. As it was with everypony else. He felt so scared and uncomfortable about it all. The anxiety of meeting other ponies felt like a weight crushing his chest. For whatever reason, Oddball simply walked up to him with the sack held in his trembling hand. The disheveled human looked at him in silence for almost a whole minute, his eye twitching wildly. Then suddenly, without warning, he set the bag of marbles down on Nylon's desk. The colt was lost in a state of confusion by the creature's appearance alone and the bizarre gesture did little to help. Not only was this the first interaction he had with somepony outside of his family, but it was the first time someone he didn't know actually spoke to him. The words are still stuck in his mind, 'Take these. Keep them. Hide them. I keep losing them.'

Little did Nylon know that day would be the birth of, what is quite possibly, the strangest friendship to ever exist. Oddball became a regular figure in his life after that day. He would just appear out of seemingly nowhere and drag the colt along with whatever craziness he was involved in. What a strange life he lives. As he looks down at the marbles, shuffling them about with his hooves, he can't help but wonder; Will it ever get any better?

Homegrown Chonclas
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The Marvelous Misadventures of Oddball Scruffington the third, twice removed

Homegrown Chonclas

"-goes into the hip joint...Fourteen, six, carry the sleven. Sleven times two is twenty-two. Fourty-two! Transfer the Taurus sign of improbability to the great wall of vroom vroom..."

On any average day, the general populace of Ponyville would ignore the small creature and his strange ramblings. However, this time around, his words carry meaning. Not that they can decipher the tirade of madness pouring out of his mouth. Many ponies only gawk at the tiny human and the contraption he is assembling in his front yard for a few moments before walking away. A select few have chosen to stick around and observe. Not that Oddball has taken notice of them. His mind is clearly elsewhere as he works. On a certain level, even he is unsure of what he is doing. But the void calls to him from the great beyond and demands that he complete his work. At least, that would be the case, if his ramblings were to be believed. He intends to finish it regardless as he pulls two pieces of wood together, tying them into place with a rope he got from places. Places he cannot specify, for the nagging of his mother will come as a result if the location is revealed. Needless to say though, the apples are going to have a hard time tying up their slaves in the barn for the next few hours. They would also have a hard time getting them back, seeing how Oddball took it upon himself to liberate them. Though the work was tiring, Oddball is nothing if not determined; If also restless.

Going over the layout of this contraption he's spent the last few hours building, Oddball sees only failure. The unstable biped's usual trembling turns into a series of unreadable twitching. He clenches his eyes shut and places his hands to either side of his head. The image is so clear in his mind. He can see it, he knows what he is missing. His eyes snap open and his head shoots to the side. The small number of ponies gathered around him jump in surprise as he faces them, leveling one of his wigglies at one particular stallion in the group. "Mud pony!" He calls out, the racial slur earning him a rather unpleasant look from the inferior lifeforms. "I need seventeen buckets of slugs, a bathtub and a banana! Go!"

Decree number one delivered, he directs his attention to a pegasus mare, beside the stallion, with his wiggly following suit. "Horsefly! I need a tuft of cloud, a bottle of rain water and a sperm sample from the mud pony!" Their looks of anger turn ones of confusion and disgust, minus the horsefly who is only confused and blushing up a storm. "Get to it! There are cups in my kitchen. Do NOT touch the ones with the slime! Those are mine!"

Oddball goes about his business, assuming the peasants will do as they're told. They have to. Those orders could not be more explicit if he drew them out on a chalkboard. His eyes scan the structure he's constructing with harsh criticism. "No, no, no!" He yells out at no one, jumping onto a a warped piece of particle board. Somehow, he is able to climb up the steep incline of the board. The symbols are all there, everything is shaped out almost perfectly. But something is missing, he can feel it. Letting out a grunt, he directs his attention outward. The small group of ponies are still standing there. This didn't bother him, at least not until he noticed the two ponies he was speaking to earlier still standing there. The human lets out a low growl, pulling a potato out of his back pocket and throwing it at them. "Stop being stupid and go get my stuff!"

Before an all-out screaming match can begin, the door to the house behind Oddball's contraption opens. A familiar red coated mare quickly exits the house and faces the door, closing it softly as if to not alert someone of her departure. Once the door is secure, Ruby lets out a breath and turns around to see something she can't quite understand. A large, crudely built, wooden half circle on a makeshift podium seems to have been constructed not even two feet from her doorstep. At first she is confused, then she notices the creature several feet in the air latched on to the side of it.

Ruby's body nearly collapses, but she holds herself up with her front hooves. Now in a weak, sitting position, the mare locks eyes with the crazed human on top of...whatever it is he is building. "I thought you were in bed..."

Oddball is quick to respond, pointing at her accusingly while his other hand remains attached to his project to keep him from falling. "You have been deceived, False God!"

"Oddball, please get down from there." Ruby begs in a defeated tone. As much as she does love her son, he is slowly sapping her very will to live at this point. "This is the first time in weeks I've gotten up this early and I can't afford to be late to work again."

"They have ensnared you, hoofed one!" Oddball announces to the world, his focus being entirely on the mare at the doorstep. "You have been caught in their tendrils of lies! Being forced to bend at the knee at the call of your fake reality!"

"Not this again..." Ruby mutters, trying to think of a way to put the oncoming rant to an end before it can start. However, the only way to divert an agent of chaos is- unfortunately- with more chaos. At this point, anything else would be better than whatever it is he is trying to accomplish now. Recalling his actions from yesterday, she would rather him chase after mythical creatures rather than continue building this thing outside in front of everypony. "Aren't you supposed to be undertaking an invasion today?"

Oddball's eyes widen in horror at the reminder. He had almost forgotten about his plans. Without hesitation, Oddball leaps down from his construction project. His landing is anything but graceful, but he's quick to get back to his feet and begin running toward town. Judging from the direction he's going, Ruby can assume he's going to be dragging Nylon with him. This is something of a relief to the mare. Nylon is a good pony and very smart for his age. At the very least, he will be able to keep Oddball from burning down another house.

Glancing down, the mare looks at her watch before quickly getting back onto her hooves, "I've still got plenty of time." She says with confidence, "I'm not going to be late today!" She gives one last look to the wooden abomination in her front lawn, letting out a groan as she settles on dismantling it later before breaking out into a full sprint in the opposite direction that Oddball had gone.

The surrounding ponies were still in shock from the events that unfolded. Many only stared at Oddball's most recent act of insanity for a few more seconds before going on with their lives. Only two remain while everypony else has gone off to continue their lives as normal. One particular pegasus mare leans in toward one particular earth pony stallion, "So uh..." she pauses to clear her throat, "about that sperm sample-"

"It really is the darndest thing." The mare continues to her bubbly, pink friend as she rests her flank in one of the booths. Her morning had started off as routine as ever, same old thing on a different day. Everything was fine at first, then she found all kinds of peculiar things. Most of the carnage was pretty minor and didn't set her back but a few minutes. However, upon going into her barn, her day became much more hectic than it needed to. "It was hard enough just gettin all the animals back in their pens, but ah had to drop like forty bits on new locks cause somethin' up and chewed them all to bits!"

Refreshing the empty mug in front of her friend with fresh, black coffee, Pinkie offers a thinking hum as she tries to process everything that's been said to her up until this point. "That is weird." Less than a second of silence passes before she gasps and resumes her usual bouncing as a tirade of words begin to spill out of her like water through a cracked dam. "Do you think it was some kind of monster? Like a manticore, or a diamond dog, the Chupacabra? Oh! I know! A giant lizard infected with radioactive DNA that'll turn into a sixty foot tall, scaly killing machine and be crowned the king of monsters!"

Applejack finds herself sitting in silence, blinking a few times as her brain struggles to wrap itself around whatever nonsense had just spewed out of Pinkie's muzzle. Even after all of this time of knowing her, the bubbly pink mare still finds ways to make the farm pony's brain backflip out of surprise. What's worse is that he doubts Pinkie does it on purpose. It's just the way she is. "Uh...No, ah don't think it's any...giant lizard monster..."

Unsure of how to continue this quickly turning conversation, the orange mare focuses her attention onto her cup and lifts it to her lips. Her mind wanders a bit as she takes a sip before placing it back onto the table. For some reason, she figured Pinkie's strangeness would eventually settle down as they got older, even more so when she had her foal, Lil' Cheese. However, she hasn't slowed down in the slightest and, if anything, the fact that she has a child has only renewed her lively behavior. It's not a bad thing that she is the way she is, it just surprises her that the party pony of Ponyville is still going as strong as ever. No pony could ever hope to match her. But, the term 'no pony' is only limited to ponies, as she is reminded by the sudden swing and crash of the front door.

"Pink one!" A familiar, child-like voice calls out from the front of the shop, earning the attention of all who reside within the confines of the establishment. The short biped is seen standing there, his body twitching madly as he stares at Pinkie, his right arm propping the door open. His crazed gaze lingers on the pony for a second before he speaks once more. "Choncla!"

While the rest of the patrons are quite clearly confused by the creature's words, or word rather, Pinkie seems to understand. Now wearing a look of cheerful determination, Pinkie D. Pie springs into action. "Right away, sir!" In the blink of an eye, she's gone. The only indication that she was even there to begin with being the pink blur that followed her form as she zipped out of the room. Not seconds later, the mare returns to her previous position, holding a potato in her hoof. She tosses it over to Oddball, who catches the vegetable in his free hand despite his eyes still being locked onto Pinkie, who offers him a salute. "Good luck on your mission today, Sir; Oddball, sir!"

"REEEEEEEE!!!" Oddball exclaims as he takes off like a bat out of hell away from the bakery, potato in hand as he breaks into a full sprint to go Celetia only knows where to do Luna knows what. Meanwhile, Pinkie is now at ease, hopping around happily and checking on her customers. It's just another day in Ponyville. Strange to some, typical to others, Hell to the outsiders and those that look a little too close at the residents. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

With a deep breath, Nylon takes in the smells of the area. The grass is freshly cut, fresh wood chips have been laid down and even hints of sugary treats from Sugar Cube Corner can be detected if one is careful enough to detect it. Letting out his breath, the colt looks up at the sky as his form gently rocks back and forth on the swing he is sitting on. By some miracle, he has managed to avoid Oddball, leaving him free to do as he pleases. That being to simply enjoy the peace and quiet as he sits in the empty playground beside the school, watching the sun as it reaches its zenith at the top of the sky. The only thing that could make this better is if he had a good book to keep him company. Alas, he is lacking in that department. However, this is good enough for him. No craziness, no Oddball, no missions, no Oddball, no dumpster spaghetti Tuesdays, no Oddball.

The colt smiles to himself as he soaks it all in. Freedom doesn't always have to be going out on adventures and jumping from one psychotic idea to the next. Freedom is simply doing what you want. And this moment, right here, this is freedom. Nothing to hear but the call of the wind as it brushes across his fur, gently caressing him with its tender, incorporeal touch. The simplest things are taken for granted, but Nylon does not dare let it go unappreciated as he basks in the simple pleasures of life; from the cool wind to the warm sun kissing his muzzle ever so gently. Finally, things don't seem so complicated. If only he could find such peace around other ponies.

That particular thought pulls his mind out of its blissful state and becomes reacquainted with the real world. Hushed tones can be heard not too far from him. Nylon knows who they are and he has an idea of what they're saying. More than anything, he knows for a fact that they're talking about him. This is both from past experiences and roughly hearing his name come from the mouth of a colt. Letting out a distressed sigh, his mind begins to wander once more and he almost feels guilty. Ponies in school picked on him for being a blank flank, at first that is, then they would tease him for hanging around Oddball so much. Their words of ridicule, while hushed now, were much more vocal in the past. That didn't last long though.

Oddball is many things; crazed, a fanatic, an alien- or so Nylon has theorized-, but he is no pushover. He reacted very little when they would try to tease him. In fact, the reason they stopped teasing Oddball was because of how strangely he acted in return. One of the most notable times was when they were making fun of him for having no fur. Oddball said nothing as he sat in his chair, his eyes glued to theirs as he slowly ate a pencil while picking his nose before very calmly asking out loud if their bones would crunch similarly to wood. The worst part of that entire experience was how genuine the question sounded coming from his mouth.

Having given up on teasing the human, they moved on to Nylon. It took a few days, but Oddball caught them teasing him. The colt didn't know how to respond, having very little interaction with other ponies in general. Being scared and confused, the pony dropped down and cried. His tears only fueled his fellow students. However, as the first few sobs left his muzzle, Oddball sprang into action. And by action, the small human proceeded to tackle their ringleader and force-feed him a wad of living slugs that he had gotten from...somewhere.

That act of heroism was more than enough to keep ponies from getting too close to Nylon, which was both a blessing and a curse. On one hoof, he never had to worry about getting picked on- at least, not to his face. On the other hoof though, he had no other friends. At least he can enjoy the peace and quiet he often desires whenever Oddball isn't dragging him into more nonsense.

Oddball...

Such a strange creature. Yet, Nylon almost feels guilty for avoiding him. While he is notably the weirdest individual in Ponyville, right next to Pinkie Pie, he's been good to him. With Oddball around, Nylon often felt an inexplicable feeling of security. It's not unlike the human to get violent every now and again, but he knows that Oddball would never truly do anything to hurt him. If anything, Oddball hurt-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Nylon's ear flicks at the building war cry in the distance. A war cry that sounds all too familiar. A war cry that is getting uncomfortably close to where he is, gradually growing in volume. Soon after, the sound of several hooves running in the exact opposite direction of the sound. Daring to take a glance back, Nylon cranes his neck to the side. The ponies that were once standing a good distance from him are nowhere to be seen, the bushes behind where they were appearing to have been disturbed with several leaves falling from them.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Letting out a defeated sigh, Nylon hops off of the swing and stares down at the pathway leading to the schoolhouse. It doesn't take long for him to spot the flailing Oddball running straight for him. Sometimes the colt can't help but wonder if the human has some sort of psychic ability that tells him exactly where he is at any given time. Oddball's disturbing ability to find him at a moment's notice, as if already knowing where he is, is both disturbing and fascinating.

By the time that Oddball has reached the halfway point up the small hill, his seemingly endless amount of energy begins to fail on him. The war cry is now a series of heavy pants and uneven breathing and, before long, he is down on the ground. Exhausted from the run and clearly being out of breath does little to deter the human from his goal. While he is moving much slower, he is still moving. His bipedal form is flailing all about, his body wiggling around wildly as he continues his ascent in spite of laying flat on the earth. "Eyabah! Hubrahbrabra! Rabralah! HABIBLARUHBARAA!"

Nylon raises a brow at the sight. Oddball is...well odd. But this is new. The colt has never seen him so out of breath and helpless. It's actually a little upsetting to witness. For years it seemed like the human was anything but mortal, so this experience is definitely a new one. Feeling a touch of concern for his downed friend, his only friend, Nylon trots over to Oddball and stops by his side. With himself being within a certain proximity to his furless friend, said friend's flailing lessens significantly. However, he seems to be having a hard time forming actual words.

"RublAH! Hubrabbra! RUAAHHHH!"

Nylon eyes go wide as he lifts his front hoof and takes a step back, the sudden raise in volume catching him a little off guard. "Um...Oddball?"

"RAHHHLAH!"

"Uh...Are you gonna be alright?"

"HAUH! HALAH! HABRABRA!"

Setting his hoof back to the ground, Nylon tries to take command. "Okay, I think you need to stop spazzing out for just a minute and breathe. You know, that thing where you take air into your lungs and...live."

"LOLLAEH!" Is what comes out of Oddball's mouth, his body flailing about once more. Oddly enough, the gibberish there makes enough sense for Nylon to understand that he is trying to say something out of spite. Likely defying his request for him to slow down and catch his breath.

"Oddball, please!" Nylon calls out desperately, being genuinely worried about his friend. "You're hard to understand when you're speaking actual words! Whatever this is that you're doing, it's less than Equestrian! And for some for some reason, that's even more concerning than some of the stuff you say on a regular basis! What's worse, I think I'm starting to understand it!"

"RAH! RABralala! Hauhhh!" Is Oddball's response, his tone lowering as he actually settles enough to take in air. His breathing is quick, but deep and lacking any particular rhythm- something that Nylon takes note of and makes a mental note of informing the human's mother of later.

Feeling a wave of relief washing over him as Oddball actually begins to breathe without making a fuss about it, Nylon reaches a hoof out and pats the human on the head. He's not entirely sure why he is doing this, but it just feels natural to do so. "There, there, buddy. Just relax and take a few deep breaths. You'll be back to your old self in no time."

"Merrrrrrrr..."

"...Yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine..."

Author's Note

As I was scrolling through a bunch of my shit, I found this chapter here, already named, and with almost 2,000 words already typed into it. I don't know how it got here or when, and what memory I do have of working on it is very scattered and disorganized, but I'm not going to question it. I just simply opened it up and started typing, then I gave up and came back several days later to see a note saying DONE in the title of the chapter. Didn't even read the shit. I left that to PeerImagination to figure out what kind of bullshit is up there.

As always; remember to slap that LIKE button like a bitch, share this story with your friends and leave a comment below. Comments make me feel special :P

P.S. This is a reminder for the people that don't know, I have a Discord server that a small chunk of my readers hangout in. With me having a bit more free time these days, I plan to be more active on there once again while I work on these stories. Feel free to pop in and bullshit with these mad lads. Every so often I'll show up drunk and start up a game of Cards Against Humanity online. It's pretty fun.
If you would like to join, just go to my profile and look at the section labeled Online Shit and click on the word Discord. It's in the upper right hand corner if you're viewing it on your computer.

Home Sweet Chaos
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The Marvelous Misadventures of Oddball Scruffington the third, twice removed

Home Sweet Chaos

Just as lively as ever...

Ruby's cubicle is one of twenty in this room and one of five in the four rows, all identical in their builds with only key differences in how the pony residing there decorates their work area. Aside from that, the room is pretty much a cookie cut image of any office in a much larger city. The only real difference there would be that this building only has two floors; the main is where walk-ins and general business is done, complete with a meeting room in the back and a room for the manager. The second floor, where she and the rest of her fellow employees are located, is where the real work is done. Everything that comes in is sent to them to be calculated, added up and figured out. While they mostly just handle numbers and names, it's common practice to seek out the quickest and most efficient ways to bring certain numbers up and others down without cutting too many corners.

When it comes to business in this small town, nearly everything goes through this office at least once. Day to day operations include adding up costs and expenses of other businesses in town on their behalf, as many ponies- though talented in their fields- don't do too well with the actual business aspect of the corporate lifestyle. As a result, ponies come to them to learn how their sales are doing, what they've lost and what they've earned over the course of a set period of time. They also handle taxes and other government regulated horse-dung that comes with money in general. Most of the ponies here spend hours in their cubicles, only ever leaving for snack and bathroom breaks, or to have something faxed or copied via the single two machines on the far end of the room.

Yep. Just another day in paradise.

Ruby finds herself sighing as she works, writing up the most recent sales of the apple family farm and going through deductions as well as what they will be taxed for their total sales. All information that will be sent to them through the mail for them to come in and deal with up front some time in the early future. The work itself isn't what's bothering her though. Being confined to these spaces for so long, many ponies have learned to multitask between work and idle chatter. A lot of the words exchanged are harmless, but the red mare is something of a celebrity in Ponyville and in one of the worst ways possible. As she finishes totaling final expenses for the Apple's, she can't help but to listen in on some of the gossip being passed between cubes.

"Apparently he was slapping around a diamond dog the other day." A stallion's voice says from the row beside her, several desks ahead as well, she's assuming since she can't actually lean out and look for the pony who is speaking. Though their voices are hushed, it isn't enough for her to miss.

"No way!" Another stallion replies in a slightly louder tone, but is definitely a little further away; judging from how much further their tone is. "He's barely half the size of one of those monsters. Do you really believe he could do that?"

"It's true! My cousin Silver Wind saw it while she was busting up a few stray clouds in the area!"

"How does Ruby deal with that thing? I mean, it's just weird to look at for one. And the thing is clearly insane. I heard it was trying to build some kind of device on her front door step this morning."

"That monster is up to something. If it weren't so obviously deranged, I might actually be afraid of it. But, the little freak can barely string together a whole sentence, let alone do something as crazed as taking over the town."

"Where did she find it again?"

"In the Everfree Forest, from what I heard. I don't see why she doesn't just wrap it in a sheet and shove it back into whatever hole it crawled out of."

An audible snap pulls Ruby mind back to her workspace; More specifically, the notepad with half a pencil laying on it. The strange sight causes her to lift her head and it's only when she goes to audibly question the sight that it becomes clear to her. This being the result of the other half of the pencil falling out of her opening muzzle. Letting out a sigh, the mare brushes the pieces to one side and angles her head in the opposite direction. Her muzzle hovers over a small, metal cup filled with freshly sharpened pencils, one of which she traps between her teeth and adjusts with her lips as she moves back to her previous position. Lowering her head to the paper, she tallies up everything laid out in front of her and writes the total down at the bottom of the page before adding her signature on the lower right corner of the page.

With that done, Ruby feels a pleasant heat rush through her form and can't help but smile as she places the pencil back in its holster with the others. She lets out a satisfied sigh as she looks over her work one last time. With this job done, not only is she caught up where she fell behind, but she's actually ahead of her quarterly schedule. This should more than make up for all the late arrivals. If not for her speed and efficiency, she would have been fired long ago for sure. Even with her consistent tardiness, she has always been able to catch back up and- at times like this- actually make up for the late arrivals to come by getting ahead of the game. She's been working her tail off to get her work done specifically to get ahead, as she is often rewarded by NOT getting into trouble when she comes in late and even earning herself a few days off. These days are often spent trying to clean up after Oddball, but it's nice to get out do something as opposed to sitting at home all day.

With a newfound sense of accomplishment, Ruby can happily tune out the murmuring of the ponies around her as she gathers up her paperwork and neatly stacks them up before grabbing them in her mouth and carrying them out of her cubicle and down the aisle to the fax machine. With a simple push of a button, the machine buzzes to life and she sets the stack down in the tray. Having gotten over the fascination of the device after using them for a few years now, she takes this opportunity to take a seat on her haunches beside the machine. Looking out over the cubicles always fills her with a sense of nostalgia. This workplace is nowhere near as hectic as her previous one, which has been nothing short of a blessing since she moved to this town. It's easier to get work done when ponies are up each other's plot holes every two seconds over one thing or another. Sometimes the lack of noise can serve as both a blessing and a curse. It's not as loud, which is blissfully pleasant in comparison, but that comes with hearing just about anything else.

I.E; Your simplest and quietest conversations being heard even from halfway across the room.

Ruby's smile falls as she recalls what those stallions were talking about earlier. While it does get annoying to hear them talk about her colt that way, she finds herself more worried for his safety than anything else. The mare can only hope that the story they were telling is getting blown way out of proportion and is nothing more than hearsay that's gotten mixed up in translation. However, she's raised Oddball for a hoofull of years now and, despite what she wants to believe, can see how there may be some truth in their words. Pony's in this town have a habit of panicking over some really stupid things from time to time. But, when it comes to Oddball, they're pretty much memorizing every move down to the littlest detail. At least, those that aren't pretending that he doesn't exist are.

"You still awake in there?" Ruby's body suddenly tenses, he head snapping to the side and spotting a familiar mare standing in front of the machine with a stack of papers levitating in a vibrant, blue glow beside her. The unicorn stands just a few inches shorter than herself, her light blue coat and silver mane barely reflecting any light off of it. Judging from the smell, she hasn't had a shower in the last day or two. It's not bad, but it's an obvious scent. The mare looks at her with teal eyes and blinks as she sees life return to Ruby's form. "Good. You're still alive."

"Yes. I'm still alive, Moon." Ruby responds casually as she relaxes herself a bit. Meanwhile, Moon sets her small stack of papers down on top of the machine and begins waiting for Ruby's stack to finish sending. "You finally finish working out the numbers for the school?"

Moon groans and drops down to her flank, looking pretty beaten down. "Bucking finally!" She says in a relieved tone, being sure not to speak too loud and disrupt anypony else. Just getting the funds figured out was nothing short of a nightmare. Not so much due to lack of organization, but rather due to the quantity. It was by far the largest job they've had and continues to be every quarter. Most ponies will outright refuse to touch that job and the few that do usually give up after the first few days. Moon was the last to dare touching it and, by Celestia's mercy, had pushed through until the end. "That load of horse apples took bucking forever and it felt even longer..."

"Manehattan had some pretty big cases, but that school is a pretty happening spot these days." Ruby adds, having been one of the many employees that didn't dare open up that can of worms. Her work in the city was extensive and chaotic, hence how she is able to work so diligently in this small town. The School of Friendship though, just looking at the mountain of papers was enough to make her recoil. "We've never had one company come in with a stack like that though. It should be considered assault to send in a case that big. And for one place, no less."

"You're telling me..." Moon comments with a flat expression. "I'm bucking exhausted. I haven't even been able to talk to anypony in my herd. I'm so pent up, I'm about ready to tear the leg off of my chair rail myself with it."

Ruby's face scrunches at the sound of Moon's despair. This mare needs it and she needs it bad. Even so, that is an image that she could have gone her entire life without and been happy. Alas, it's in her head now and she cannot unsee it as it hovers in the back of her mind like a parasite burrowing into her brain. "I don't wanna see that or think about it ever again..."

The two fall into silence for a short time. It isn't awkward by any means. In fact, it's rather welcome after Moon's colorful manner of expressing her more carnal desires. The silence doesn't last long as Moon pulls her mind out of the gutter and feels the need to bring up an odd topic. "So there's some fresh rumors going around. I'm sure you've heard them by now." Ruby says nothing in response to this, choosing to turn her head away from the mention of the rumors. "Ruby, I like you. You're a good mare and all, but the more I hear about this kid you took in, the more I'm inclined to agree with everypony about this."

"Moon, just stop."

"Just hear me out for a second here." Moon argues, wanting to get her point across. "I get that you care about him, I do. You've raised him essentially from...whatever his version of foalhood is, but is it really worth it to keep him around? He stresses you out, makes you late to work all them time-"

Ruby's face contorts in anger as she turns her head back to face the mare. "Moon, I mean it..."

"I'm just saying, Ruby-" Moon continues, ignoring the warnings in full. "He seems like way more than you can handle. It would be different if you still had a her and I know that things with your herd back in Manehattan ended on a pretty bad note, but I don't think that using Odd-"

Moon's sentence stops dead in its tracks, her ears folding against the side of her head as Ruby's hoof hits the floor with enough force to shake the area between them. Only now does the unicorn take notice of the stare she's receiving. Feeling genuinely at risk, she stands up and takes a few slow steps back before trying to defend herself as ponies all around the office begin peeking over their cubicles to the source of the commotion. "Okay! Alright...I may have crossed a line there...Just...just relax, mare. I'm sorry..."

The ding of the fax machine helps pull Ruby out of her minor fit, turning her attention elsewhere. Wanting to pretend like nothing happened, she grabs her stack out of the machine and marches past Moon, who quickly moves out of her way. Going back to her desk, Ruby ignores the stares of the ponies with their curious eyes following her. Once back in her cube, she reaches under her desk and opens the filing cabinet tucked away beneath it. After setting the stack in the appropriate file, she closes the cabinet and takes a breath to calm herself. Her attempts are met with failure though as the speaker in the ceiling suddenly crackles and a mare's voice speaks through it.

"Would Miss Ruby Gaze come to the front desk, please. Again; Ruby Gaze, to the front desk"

Ruby's exhale becomes a defeated sigh as she gets ready to go downstairs. She glances at the clock, noticing that the work day is almost over. Whatever it is she's being called for might take a minute, so she figures she may as well gather her belongings just in case. Grabbing her saddlebag from under her desk and strapping it on, she pauses as her gaze crosses a framed photo on her cubicle wall. The picture shows her laying on the floor with her stomach to the ground and donning a bright smile, mouth open as she let out a playful shriek. The shriek itself came as a response to the human- who was noticeably smaller at the time- laying atop of her head with his arms wrapped around her face and his mouth latched onto her ear. Seeing this photo always helps to warm her heart and serves as a reminder that her son is no monster. Ponies can think what they like, but she knows better.

A smile graces her lips as she pulls her saddlebag on tight. Having already loaded it with some smaller jobs this morning, she would be able to keep herself preoccupied at home later during the quieter hours. Now feeling significantly calmer, Ruby trots out of her cubicle and makes her way downstairs. What she expects to see at the end of her descent is the mare that runs the desk and maybe one of the managers. Instead, what she sees is the mare that runs the desk and an annoyed looking police officer and a levitating Oddball wrapped in some kind of rope. The magic is entirely focused on his clothes and the rope around his small frame- as most magics that have been attempted on him seem to be negated for some reason.

Once again, her smile drops, but this time a bit of panic starts to set in as she picks up her pace before sliding to a stop in front of the officer. "What happened?" Her sights move between the mare holding her son and the human who is wiggling around in his binds like an angry serpent. He is trying to yell, but the modified dog muzzle- crafted specifically for him a few years ago after the first several offenses- is keeping his mouth closed. "He didn't burn anything down again, did he? I've gone over this so many times with him and I can't afford to rebuild another duplex!"

Much to Ruby's relief, the police officer nods. "No, not this time. But, if he does that again, I'm gonna have to put him up for a few days. Colt or not, lives were at stake there." The red mare lets out a relieved sigh, but doesn't let her guard down just yet as she focuses entirely on the mare keeping her child restrained. "We found him after Nylon came calling for help. Poor kid started yelling about diamond dogs attacking your boy. When we got there though, it seemed suspiciously like he was attacking them. Caught him surrounded by the mutts, who just so happened to be tied up by the way, and shoving rocks into their ears while screaming something about gold and leprechauns."

"Wait, THAT'S what the invasion thing was about!?" Ruby glances down at Oddball, who seems oblivious to the rest of the world as he continues wiggling about in his restraints. Meanwhile, his mother is about to have a stroke just trying to process how any of this could have gone down. "I don't...I can't!-There's just..." Her expression speaks volumes while her mouth struggles to form any semblance of a coherent sentence for a few seconds. When she finally finds the words, it's a lot less than she feels it should be. "I honestly don't even know how to react to this..."

"Neither did we." The officer comments in a flat tone. "So we just went ahead and followed the usual routine, then let the mutts go on about their business. On the plus side, I don't think we'll have to worry about any more cave-ins near Ponyville for a while. They seemed pretty spooked after we got their binds off." With a sigh, the officer floats Oddball over his mother before dropping him onto her back. "Just take this little monster home so we can all get some rest today."

Ruby grunts as the human's weight is suddenly upon her. His size alone makes carrying him difficult and the added effects of his struggling only make it worse. "Yes, ma'am." She simply replies, the strain of having to hold up her struggling child being enough to help her overlook the repeated term that most ponies refer to him by. "I'll get him home right away."

"See that you do."

The following walk home is much less eventful than one would expect. Ruby having to carry her son home, while he's restrained on her back, happens several times a month for many reasons. It often drew attention to her, at least the first few times. Nowadays it's a fairly regular occurrence that ponies have learned to ignore, along with most of the antics that frequently occur as a result of Oddball's strangeness. If not for the ever-increasing size of her colt, Ruby would be much more physically accustomed to carrying him around like this. However, it seems that he just keeps getting larger every year. He's almost as tall as her when she's standing up on all four legs and towers over most of his classmates, as they are barely chest height to him. She can't help but wonder what he'll be like in his later years, when he's fully grown and living his own life. Will he settle down as he gets older, or will he still be as rambunctious as ever. It's not something she is sure about, but she hopes for the former- for his own sake.

Then comes the question of what he will look like. There are a few bipedal species in Equestria, but seeing him spring up onto two legs for the first time was pretty jarring. The hair caught her off guard too, as she assumed that he would remain bald all over after taking him in. Now as the years go by, he just keeps getting taller. How tall will he be when he finally reaches the end of his growth? Will he even stop growing, or will he be a giant? It's neat to think about, but also fills her with dread at the aspect that he will be too strange for anypony to want him around. It's hard enough as is with his behavior and if he continues to extend his height then who knows how ponies anywhere will react.

These thoughts meet their end as Ruby catches sight of the...thing that Oddball was building earlier this morning. Sidestepping the bizarre contraption, she makes a mental note to tear it down tomorrow. With her finally being in a comfortable place at work, she can allow herself a couple of days to run damage control on her son's most recent activities. Pulling the key from her saddlebag, she unlocks the door and enters the house with her colt still wiggling about on her back. Upon entering, she kicks the door shut and sets her key down on the coat rack in her entryway.

"Alright, Oddball. I need you to relax and we'll get you out of this mess." Oddball finally ceases his struggling, but she can still feel his jerking, jittery motions. His usual trembling used to concern her, but after being assured multiple times that they cannot find anything medically wrong with him, she can only assume that it's natural for him.

Ruby raises a hoof and flicks the light switch, effectively lighting up the comfortable little home she's raised Oddball in for his entire life so far. Now able to see where she is going, she trots forward into the living area and carefully wiggles her colt off of her back and onto the rug in the center of the room. He rolls off of her back and onto the floor, laying with his back to the floor and staring up at the ceiling. "Just give me one minute..."

Lowering her head, Ruby finds the knot holding the rope together and grabs it in her teeth, tugging hard until it finally comes undone. With the knot gone, Oddball starts to wiggle around once more. The rope gives with every motion and slowly unravels from his body, allowing him to sit up and flail around until he is completely free. Having the ability to move his arms again, he wastes no time grabbing the muzzle on his face and pulling it off, just to throw it onto the couch a few feet from him.

"FRRREEEEEDOOOOMMMM!!!!" Oddball exclaims triumphantly, his arms launching into the air as his cry of victory all but shatters the glass of a nearby coffee table.

With both her day and her son free, Ruby settles on letting herself give in to the call of laziness. After swiftly undoing the straps of her saddlebag, she walks over to the couch. Letting the bag drop to the floor, the mare collapses onto her side, landing onto the couch which welcomes her with its plush surface. A satisfied groan escapes her as she lets the stresses of the door seep out of her body and into the cushions below, which take her burdens and banish them elsewhere. Probably to one of the weird dimensions her son refers to as 'The Void'.

While Ruby settles in on the couch, Oddball looks to her and tilts his head before getting onto his feet and shuffling over to her side. It doesn't take long for him to place his hands upon her relaxing form and disturb it, "Arise! There is work to be done and souls to claim!"

Ruby lets out another groan, this one being an argument to the less-than-satisfactory sensation of being forcibly rocked from side to side. Closing her eyes, the mare tries to shut out the outside world while pleading, "Not right now, sweetie! Mommy's had a day and a half and she's tired." Thankfully, the shaking stops and she returns to her resting position. However, the hands are still upon her. In no time at all, she is shoved until she is laying on her back. She groans again, "We can play later, Oddball. Just let me rest for a bit."

Much to Ruby's surprise, the shoving stops there. Yet, the hands are still upon her. The mare's body tenses as she mentally prepares herself for further rocking. Once again, she finds herself surprised as he not only discontinues the rocking, but his hands move to her barrel and begin scratching lightly- and rapidly- at the skin beneath her fur. Content with the situation, the mare allows herself to slacken as the sudden turn of events proves to alleviate any further stress as opposed to adding more. It's a welcome change and something she doesn't get to experience often enough. The pressure of her clenched eyelids dilutes and becomes much more natural as the pains of today all but seep out of her body in waves, pouring away into nothingness while she is quickly being eased into a state of peace and tranquility.

Daring to open her eyes, Ruby angles her neck downward and to the side, looking at her son as he diligently works his wigglies on her exposed barrel. His eyes are still as crazed as ever, his head craning sharply once or twice as he twitches every few seconds. An anomaly though he may be, she finds nothing for him in her heart other than unconditional love. He may not be a pony, or any other known species in Equestria, but she couldn't care less. Whether he be an alien, beast or flesh-eating worm creature is irrelevant. In her eyes, he's her little, spastic ball of joy. Her little oddball among a sea of cubes all floating around in the waves while he rolls across the surface and tears his own path through life. Oddball is no monster, he is her son and nothing will ever change that.

With a smile on her muzzle and warmth in her heart, Ruby reaches out with both of her hooves and ensnares Oddball, pulling him on top of her. His weight is enough to elicit a grunt from her as she pulls him into her. He struggles a bit at first, but after a bit of wiggling around he settles down with his chin resting on the mare's barrel. She looks down at him as he looks up at her, his body sprawled out across her own. From an outside perspective, it would look more like he was the one trapping her. Her hooves wrapped snugly around his head, she holds her son close and leans down to kiss his forehead. There are a number of noises he makes with his throat in response, but none that she can see being in protest. Laying her head back, she relaxes her neck and runs a hoof through her colt's wild mane.

The peaceful rest lasts for a few minutes, but her stomach soon betrays her desire to rest longer. The audible growling in her gut provokes the child laying on top of her as well, his response to the sound being to start biting at her midsection. The motions tickles her a bit, but she can only put off eating for so long. Tapping Oddball's shoulder, she signals for him to get up. "Come on, hon. Let's get something in our bellies and get ready for bed."

Oddball is nimble, Oddball is quick.

Oddball springs off of her with the speed of a whip. His body launches to the side and crashes into the floor with a loud thump. In a mere fraction of a second, he is back on his feet and is running into the kitchen. All of this before Ruby has even set all four hooves onto the floor. As she joins her son in the kitchen, she finds him standing in the room center, bending himself at the knees and standing back up over and over again. His body bounces up and down with his feet never leaving the ground. It's almost adorable to watch, but the mare has a mission. Going into the fridge, she observes the contents within. Or rather, the lack of contents.

"Crap..." Ruby mutters to herself, "I forgot to go shopping yesterday."

"Rations!" Oddball screams at the world, taking off at a half sprint back to the living room. Dropping to his knees, his little body slides across the smooth floor until he is stopped by the rug. Ruby looks out from behind the fridge door, curious of his actions. The human peels back the rug on the floor, throwing nearly half of it on top of itself and revealing a-

"What in the-" Ruby doesn't get the chance chance to finish that thought as Oddball grabs onto a small metal bar in the floor, that definitely wasn't there when she bought the house, and pulls up to reveal the hidden hatch- with hinges and all- leading to Celestia-only-knows where. With the hatch now open, Oddball throws himself in and disappears. Closing the fridge, Ruby quickly trots to the hole and looks down. It's too dark for her to see into it, but she can hear something scurrying down below. "Oddball..." She says into the hole, receiving no response after a few seconds. "Oddball, get out of there! You don't know how dangerous this could be!"

Panic, worry, fear; all of this and more is surfacing at break-neck speeds. Ruby is about to jump into the hole to go after him, but the scurrying below is getting closer. Much to her relief, Oddball returns to the surface unharmed. To her confusion though, he lifts a small, burlap sack out of the hole and dumps its contents out onto the floor.

"EGG!"

As promised, a collection of eggs pour out of the sack and roll onto the floor. Some are natural white, others have a brownish color. There are a lot of questions going through Ruby's head. So many that she doesn't know which one to ask first. There was no hole in the floor like this when she moved in, but now there is and Oddball seems to have made something of a storage area out of it. Did he do this himself? If he did, then how? And how did she not notice anything? Was he hiding this from her? Then there's the eggs and wondering how he managed to acquire so many of them.

Placing a hoof to her temple, Ruby attempts to rub away the growing headache as she figures that she can kick start this whole thing at a moderate pace. "Odd...Why is there a hole in our floor?"

"It's for the old ones..." Oddball answers in an ominous tone, his body sinking back down into the hole until only his eyes and hair remain poking out of it. "They will come for me one day and all will be chaos!" He slowly extends an arm from the hole, wrapping his wigglies around the mare's hoof and tugging it gently toward the hole. "They won't find you in here..."

Ruby lowers the hoof one her temple back to the floor so she can shake off the grabber attached to the other one. Hoof now free, arm slowly retracting back to its rightful owner who is still barely peeking out of the barely-explained hole in the floor, the mare moves on to the only question she might be able to get an actual answer to. "Where did you get all of these eggs?" Without saying a word, Oddball reaches down into the hole, his hand soon returning with a small, rubber chicken clenched in his grasp. He squeezes the toy a few times, getting it to squeak in tandem with his tightening grip.

Ruby's eyes narrow as she looks down at her son, clearly not buying into his wordless story. "Professor Cluckernutter did not lay those eggs, Oddball. You and I both know this." She leans her head down so her face is closer to his, his hand still squeezing the toy at random and eliciting further high-pitched squeaking noises. "Tell the truth; Where did you get them"

"They were bestowed upon me-" Oddball begins, his mother already seeing where this was clearly about to go.

"Odd!" Ruby calls out in protest, her use of his name doing nothing to deter the little one in front of her.

"by the cluckiest of nutters!"

"He is not a real chicken!"

"You dare spit upon the egg-laying grace of Professor Cluckernutter!" Oddball's body rises up a few inches, exposing more of his body to the world outside of the hatch. He points an accusing wiggly in the mare's direction, "You will face the wrath of five-hundred and sixty two thousand chickens!" At the end of his proclaim, the human throws the chicken at his mother. She doesn't move a single muzzle as the toy bounces off of her head with yet another squeak before falling to the floor.

Groaning, Ruby resigns herself the ignorance since it is clearly the only choice that will help her maintain some semblance of sanity. Turning her attention to the eggs, she figures that she may as well make use of them. She grabs onto the discarded, burlap sack and opens it up, rolling the eggs back into it with her nose. They're oddly cold to the touch, so she shrugs off the idea that they could have gone bad. With the eggs now collected, she grabs the sack with her teeth and hoists it up. "Ah'm gonna go make shom omnlettesh. Pleashe, get out ub that hole in the meantime."

"Sanctuary~" Oddball draws out the word as it leaves his mouth, slowly sinking further into the hole.

Ruby rolls her eyes and turns around to go back into the kitchen.

Author's Note

Chicken!
Chicketti!
You get one! Stuff it with haggis and wrap it in bacon! It's called a Flying Scottsman!
It's awful! Put it in your body!

3-H34d3d Sch1z0phr3n1c L1z4rd
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The Marvelous Misadventures of Oddball Scruffington the third, twice removed

3-H34d3d Sch1z0phr3n1c L1z4rd

Author's Note

I currently have a concussion, a partial black eye, six stitches above said black eye, I scraped up shoulder and a- once again- smashed kneecap.

How all of this led to me coming back to finish this chapter, I have no idea. But, here we are!

As is typical with the story, it has not been professionally edited. So, expect some errors here and there.

3-H34d3d Sch1z0phr3n1c L1z4rd

The Summer Sun Celebration; A day of history, war and triumph at the hooves of the former Princess of Equestria. It is a day of celebration, relishing in the defeat of Nightmare Moon, who once tried to bring darkness upon the land. This, the week before the celebration, seemed the most appropriate time to- not only educate- but to challenge students to seek out information and use creative thinking to figure out how such events could have been avoided. An exercise like this challenges one's mind and leads them to come up with their own ideas and theories using nothing but their imagination and problem-solving skills. In theory, this is a very apt way to promote creative thinking in order to resolve conflict for any creature willing to do so. However, sometimes creative thinking comes with a price.

"She who promises grace and warmth is the harbinger of scales and cold-bloodedness!"

And sometimes that price is actually quite hefty.

"The tyrant desires to roast us under her blazing ball of fire and plasma!" The hairless creature announces from his chair-made-pedestal at the front of the class, the sheer volume of his voice being enough to make most of his fellow students recoil in their seats. "She has handed us the bowl of punch and you're all lining up with your little red cups; eager to drink the precious, red marefluid bestowed upon you by the very one who is commencing with the turning of the age! Soon ends the rein of ponykind! The reptilians will enforce their will upon us!"

Celestia, former ruler of Equestria, is loved by all to this day. Even by the elderly mare who has been teaching at this school for so long. The graying, pink coated mare stands from her desk to reprimand the outrageous student, refusing to allow any further ill-speaking of their now retired princess. "Now you hold your saddles, young-"

Oddball's neck cracks as his head quickly swivels so that his eyes may meet hers, his gaze alone being enough to silence the mare and cause her body to tense as he raises an arm to level one of his wigglies in her direction. "You have been blinded, drugged by the radiance of your false-"

Clearing his throat loud enough to garner the attention of the whole class, including both the teacher and the monster slandering their princess, is none other than Nylon. The one pony who does not quake in fear of the singular biped among them holds his hoof up high. "If I may, for just a second?" All eyes are on the young colt, making him feel out of place and uncomfortable. Alas, he cannot back down now, less Oddball begins to sense weakness from him. "I would like to ask Oddball a question about his theory."

Still a bit shaken, Cheerilee takes a moment to calm her nerves and retake her seat before allowing Nylon to speak up, in hopes that he may be able to quell the beast standing before them all. "Yes you may."

Nylon focuses his attention on Oddball, who stands in place with his eyes glued to the colt. The biped is as relaxed as he can be, having lost most of the tension in his own muscles and returned to his natural, jittery state. Now seems like the best time to begin bucking holes into the furless creature's stories and, with any luck, derailing this whole thing so that they can get on with class. "If you really believe that Celestia wanted to become this great, reptilian overlord of Equestria, then why do we have Twilight Sparkle?"

The entire student body hones in on the colt as he asks this; less out of genuine fascination with the topic and more out of wonder if Nylon can actually get Oddball to submit. "It goes without saying at this point that she's been working up to her new position for a very long time and that Celestia was a driving force in helping her get there. That being said, if she was actually trying to do what you claim her to be doing, why so easily hand off her position to another pony when she already had the seat of power? If you ask me, it seems counterproductive to this whole 'plan' you're so aggressively suggesting she has in place."

Nylon's words successfully poke a few holes in Oddball's theory. At least, to anyone with sense. To Oddball, this matter of questioning is trivial at best. "The answer to that is more plain than you may believe, young slave."

Nylon's breath hitches in his throat and he goes to make a retort. "I'm not a-!"

"Silence!" Oddball screams out. "I have spoken!"

When the deranged human is granted said silence, he continues on with his explanation. "For you see! The reason why your false god has the hatchling known as Twilight on the throne, is to take attention off of herself so she may continue her work in secret." Nylon's head drops. He thought for sure that his question would at least stump Oddball. "Not to mention that Twilight still services Celestia's sexu-"

"That's quite enough!" Cherilee announces with wide eyes, moving from her seat to usher the human back into his own. "That was a very...in depth and...detailed thesis, Oddball. You may take your seat." Oddball reluctantly complies with the mare and silently takes his seat, if only to look back on the day she dared to not heed his warnings and laugh in the coming days.

She would learn soon enough...

"Moving on-'' Cherilee continues on with her lessons as previously scheduled. Most of her lessons now are fairly routine, with the exception of some more recent developments on the changing times. With their society growing steadily and becoming more inclusive, it's become imperative to share knowledge of the other creatures that now frequent Ponyville and make it so much more unique. Knowing more about other species has proven to help every creature to be more understanding as well as welcoming. New and exciting friendships are blossoming around the globe and the mare is personally thankful to be able to experience all of the new changes and the wonders that have come with them.

The bell soon rings, signaling the end of the school day. As per usual, her students were all too eager to charge the door. "Remember your homework, everyone!" She calls out hurriedly. "I want a one hundred word essay expressing your thoughts on how you feel about-" Her face sinks a bit as the final student departs. However, she simply shrugs it off and goes about cleaning up the whiteboard.

Upon exiting the small building, Nylon levitates his notebook into his saddle bag with practiced ease. He looks back to make sure the clasp on his bag is securely fastened. In his moment of blindness, the young unicorn bumps into something and falls back onto his flank with a soft 'umph'. Upon making contact, he hears a yelp and another soft thud. Giving his head a short shake, he looked forward to see what it was he had bumped into. In front of him, laying on their stomach, is a young diamond dog pup. She slowly picks herself up and brushes the dirt off of her tan colored fur and long brown hair. The pup turns back to look at Nylon with baby blue eyes, seeming nervous to be facing him.

It takes Nylon about twelve seconds before he finally registers what's happening and gets back onto his hooves. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bump into you!" He nearly yells, the volume of his voice causing the pup to flinch a bit. It's strange to him how a creature that stands nearly two heads taller than him is afraid of somepony like himself. Even so, he lowers his voice as he continues to try and defend himself. "I was just trying to put my notebook away and I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?"

It takes the pup a few seconds to respond, but she eventually nods and forces a reply. "I'm f-fine."

Nylon can see how uncomfortable she is just being in his vicinity, a feeling he sympathizes with all too well. He feels a little put off himself, but his curious young mind keeps him holding his ground. He's gotten used to seeing creatures of all kinds. Many species have started coming to Ponyville since before he was born, but diamond dogs are still something of a rarity, seeing how many of them prefer to remain underground. Forcing a small smile, he presses on in hopes that becoming more acquainted will help alleviate some of her nerves. "I'm Nylon." He says plainly, if also just a touch forced before motioning to the building behind him. "I attend Ponyville Elementary."

Looking back at the school in the distance, the pup seems to crumble internally. Turning her attention back to the colt in front of her, she takes a breath and keeps her attention on Nylon. "I'm Opal. I'm...kind of new."

"I figured you were." Nylon states openly, "Diamond dogs aren't very common yet, so I'm sure I would have recognized you otherwise."

Steeling herself, Opal begins making an effort to contribute to the conversation. An opportunity to make a friend is presenting itself and the last thing she wants is to squander it so soon. "We only just moved in nearby..." The pup reaches up and begins to scratch at the back of her neck with her head lowered. "Today was supposed to be my first day. I'm still too young for the school of friendship, so I'm supposed to go here."

Nylon tilts his head for a second before realizing what exactly is going on. "I'm guessing you got scared, huh?" The colt gets his response in the form of a slow nod from Opal. "I know that feeling all too well."

Opal looks up at him, her eyes wide with shock. "You do?"

Nylon offers his own nod in her direction. "It's hard going to new places, especially when you don't know anypony." He pauses for a second, noticing his mistake and taking quick action to correct himself. "Or, anyone, in this case. Sorry, it's still mostly ponies in there."

"It's fine..." Opal's eyes dart back and forth between Nylon and the ground. His kind words helped her some, but this whole situation is still very new and uncomfortable.

"Would-" Nylon gulps, doing his best to push out the words he wants to say. He struggled very hard at first, but everything changed when he made his first and- admittedly only- friend. Whether it was for the best or not is up for debate, but at the very least he can try to help give her a better start than he had. "Would you like me to help you?"

Opal's eyes finally rest on Nylon; he can practically see them twinkling as her body seems to swell and a small smile grows on her face. "Y-you...you would...help me?"

Feeling a certain amount of determination, Nylon nods. "O-of course!" He says excitedly, forgetting for a moment who he is and just how much of an outcast he continues to be. "It's Friday, so we have the whole weekend to help you get adjusted."

Opal's smile grows and her arms raise, her paws coming together and pressing into her own chest. "Thank you...thank you so much!"

Nylon can practically feel the heat coming off of her. The sight alone was enough to make his heart melt, but her joy almost seems to permeate his entire being. He feels like a pegasus, flying through the skys; care-free, daring and alive. "There's no need to thank me. I know it can be hard and-"

Opal flinches as a wad of mud hits the side of Nylon's face,cutting off his sentence as his head lightly lurches to the side. Letting out a sigh, the colt is reminded of his place and the euphoria from before steadily fades into the background. He reaches up and wipes off a majority of the offending material from the side of his face with a hoof. There's an all too familiar laughter far to his left. Paying them no mind, he refocuses his attention onto the pup. "It's even more difficult when nopony likes you..."

The concern that fills Opal overtakes any of her previous feelings of fear as she practically lunges forward to assist the colt, dragging her paw down his face over and over again, being careful not to scratch him with her claws. Her eyes are filled with worry as she tries to clean him, occasionally glancing at the small group of young ponies still cackling several yards away. "Why isn't anyone doing anything?"

"Just wait." Nylon answers plainly, knowing all too well what would be coming next.

Opal tilts her head in confusion, her bewilderment only increasing as an odd sound reaches her ears in the distance. She can't make out what it is at first; it almost sounds like something ripping or tearing. Not long after, screaming. Her heart races at the noise, her head jolting to the side to meet a rather bizarre sight. There was a creature she could not identify, a roll of duct tape gripped in its...claws? It was wrapping, whom she assumes is the ringleader of the group. The pony's accomplices had all but vanished, leaving the poor soul to the oncoming torment. Once the colt was properly restrained, the creature grabbed them by their mane and began dragging them toward a nearby flagpole- singing all the while.

"Oh, say can you seeeee~" The hairless creature, similar to her in height, then wrapped more tape around the pony's legs, this time wrapping it around the rope as well. "Your pain fills me with glee~" Tossing the roll aside, it moves to the other side of the pole and grabs hold of the rope. As it begins pulling, the flag descends, the pony attached to the other side rising as a result. "-and so proudly I pull!~" With a few more quick heaves, the flag that once flapped in the breeze now rests on the soft grass, while the pony that had assaulted Nylon was now left suspended at the top, whining and begging to be let down. "While you continue to scream!~"

"That's Oddball..." Nylon says all of a sudden, earning the pup's attention once more. His tone sounds defeated and weak to her, which comes as a shock. She wonders why he doesn't seem more excited that the bully is being punished. "He's...kind of my only friend."

The look Opal shoots at the colt tells him all he needs to know about what she is thinking. "He's...well, an odd one."

This statement is quickly proven as the feeling of warmth air pushes through the hairs on the back of her neck. A deep breath against the area causes her to nearly jump out of her skin and, in the blink of an eye, Opal has taken refuge behind Nylon. Peeking out from behind the colt, she spies the strange creature who is standing not even an inch away from where she had been previously, his body trembling as his crazed eyes refuse to leave her. There's a cancerous silence that feels as though its been dragging on for hours. Fear grips her heart as she continues her stare down with Oddball, who slowly tilts his head to the side.

"You smell of fear and ebony." Oddball says with no sign of continuing.

Nylon finds his own gaze locking onto Oddball's. There's something in the human's eyes, something he recognizes, but cannot pinpoint. He knows he's seen it before, but he finds himself at a loss. He wonders when he's seen that look before. It almost seems like he's trying to take in every last detail, absorbing every little piece of information he can just by looking at her. Unsure of what to do, he figures the next best move would be to introduce the two. "Oddball, this is Opal. She's new here."

Oddball's line of sight doesn't budge and, before long, he makes his approach. Steadily, he steps past Nylon before coming to a stop by the pony's side, eyeing the cowering pup who has now taken to using the end of the colt's tail to hide her face. Nothing happens for nearly a full minute, then Opal peeks out. The human reaches into his pocket. He rummages before removing the appendage from his pants, his fist closed. Slowly, he reaches out, his fingers still clenched. The pup can only watch with anticipation, Nylon doing the same with a craned neck. Not knowing what else to do, Opal very cautiously extends her paw, equally as closed as Oddball's. The human's free hand shoots out, grabbing the pup by her wrist. She lets out a squeak, Nylon tenses. The boy lightly twists her wrist until her whole paw is turned over. Sheer terror pilots her next movement, opening her closed paw. The hand hovers over before opening. Several clean, practically brand new, screws fall from his hand and into her paw. The pup's eyes follow the small building materials as they pile in. Seven little screws have been dumped into her hand for reasons unknown to her. Flabbergasted, she turns her attention back to Oddball, who's gaze seems to have never left her.

"Take these." Realization dawns on Nylon's face as Oddball says this to her. "Keep them. Hold them tight. They keep coming loose."

Just as Nylon is about to say something, Oddball's mouth becomes pressed against his ear. The colt jumps back, but to no avail. Oddball has his arms coiled around the colt's head. Nylon can feel the human sucking at the hole in his ear. He struggles to break free, only prevailing when the arms wrapped around him release. "Eww!" The colt grimaces, rubbing his ear with a hoof to get remnants of gooey saliva out of his ear canal. "Why did you do that?"

Oddball works his mouth around for a moment before turning his head and spitting out a small glob of mud. His tongue rolls around in his mouth briefly, as if examining the flavor. "There be gophers here."

With her meat shield now gone, Opal picks herself up and swiftly inches her way to Nylon. She is careful not to drop the screws that have been bestowed to her as she closes the distance between herself and the first pony she's spoken to. "Is this normal?"

"For Oddball," Nylon begins, examining the ooze that he had extracted from his ear now residing on the tip of his hoof. Lowering his leg, he wipes the slobber off in the grass. "this is actually pretty tame."

Nylon's eyes wander back to the small pile of metal bits that Opal is openly cradling. He offers her a quick glance before turning back to Oddball, who appears to be busying himself scanning the ground in an offensive stance. The significance of the short moment Oddball had with Opal is not lost to him; that is, if his recently constructed running theory is to be believed. With his eyes still glued to the now crouched human that's begun digging at the dirt with his wigglies, he begins speaking to Opal once more in a hushed tone. "Try not to drop those screws."

Opal looks back and forth between Nylon and her paw, clearly not understanding what has just happened. "Why?"

"I haven't lost my marbles yet." This earns Nylon a raised brow from the pup, to which he can only shrug in return. "To be honest, I'm kind of scared of what he'd do if I ever did."