Starlight Glimmer bit hard against her bottom lip, resisting with all her might, the building pressure in her chest, a swell of laughter that threatened to burst free at any moment.

Across from her, Princess Celestia slammed her palm flat against the table, rattling the dishes as she threw her head backward, with eyes squeezed shut and legs spread wide, the words "Oh, fuck yes!" on her lips.

Perfect pitch was one of the more peculiar traits bestowed upon those who ascended to the ranks of royalty. It was hard not to be jealous. It was the sort of thing Starlight felt almost entitled to. The kind of odd quirk of mind that seemed tailored for people like her, but had somehow passed her by.

It didn't matter.

From Celestia's reaction, Starlight knew in an instant that the note her teacup had made as she struck her spoon against it was a G-natural.

She knew it for the same reason she knew that what Celestia had just experienced was the slow thrust of a knobbed, black dildo the size of a summer squash sliding its way into her royal cunt.

She knew it for the same reason she knew that, only a few months prior, The Goddess of The Sun had found herself inundated with all manner of lurid magazines and catalogues. Piles of them, some as thick as phone books, their covers awash in bright colours and obnoxious fonts, touting the newest innovations in material science that rendered their products more durable and pleasurable than any that had come before. Each one addressed to "Princess Celestia c/o Canterlot Castle", something the publishers no doubt presumed to be the pseudonym of a shy staff member, and paid no mind, so long as the enclosed cheque that requested their publications cleared. They were to be delivered to her quarters by Kibitz, or some other member of the royal staff, who would receive, in return, hand written reviews, thick with florid descriptions of everything from taste, to texture, to oddly specific quibbles over the names of the various settings for the more technically advanced pieces of hardware. They would also be given a stack of cut-outs and highlighted pages, and on top of that, a ransom of bits to be sent for fresh orders that would be added to the ever expanding piles that dominated her quarters.

And finally, Starlight knew it for the same reason that, as Princess Celestia's legs slid shut, her hand dragged back to her side, and her face returned to its barely disguised look of shock, that neither she, nor Luna had any idea of what had just happened.

She knew these things, because they were her doing.

It was among her more ambitious bits of fun. The kind reserved for when she and Twilight's shared victory over the ruler of Equestria was so thoroughly secured that she felt free to see just how much she could get away with.

In this particular case, the Princess had been tasked with searing into her memory through endless practice, her exact reaction to each and every toy that had found its way into her possession.

It was to be, in her mind, a project of supreme importance. Something to be pursued in her every free moment. So much so, that guards, advisors, and members of her coterie would be expected to have the appropriate tools to hand at all times, and would present them to her without hesitation upon request.

She would, for hours on end, feel compelled to sample them. Over, and over, and over again, until she could recreate her response down to the most minute detail. It was, to her, akin to a performance piece. Her every spasm and jostle was to come to her, at a moment's notice, as naturally as reciting the alphabet, the whole time having no idea why, or towards what purpose. Knowing only that it was important. That it needed to be done, in the same way as one knew the need to draw breath.

Starlight tapped her spoon again, and Celestia's reply came just as she seemed to have resettled herself. It was a much more restrained reaction this time, a slow, deep exhale, and a pleased hum from between inwardly curled lips. Her hand took to her breast and caressed against it, her hips rolling slightly in her chair. Starlight pegged this one as the large purple egg, advertised as the perfect addition to prolonged edging sessions.

For nearly ten full seconds that was the only sound in the throne room. Starlight bathed in it. The sweet, husky hum of the Princess writhing against her chair, bucking hard at random points with such force that her only recently concealed chest once again bounced out.

For good measure, Starlight tapped a third time, and was taken aback at the suddenness of the change. The Princess flung her legs up the air, and rested them on the table. As if taking aim at her, The Goddess of The Sun threw aside the bottom of her dress, the rose petaled hues of her slit, dripping with lust, and twitching in time with the awkward hitches of her breath, directed squarely towards Starlight. The fingers of one hand clamped to her nipple and began to twist, the other hung limp at her side, denied its purpose by the lack of something phallic to grasp onto.

Starlight couldn't quite place this reaction. By the uneven "Hoo - HA!" of the diarch's blissful squeals, her best guess that this was one of the double headed wands, first massaging her insides, and then her clit as she pressed it deeper.

"Celestia, Starlight says: hold that one."

Possessed by a momentary spark of inspiration, the mage snapped at Luna. The younger Princess had been, until that point, just short of catatonic in her seat. Most of the time, Starlight savoured the chance to speak with her, but, for this, her silence was far more convenient.

Though Celestia would see in her sister whatever reactions she already expected, in truth, the Lunar Princess had, for much of the confrontation, sat slumped forward, lost in an empty-headed haze. She spoke when spoken to, or when prodded, and would eat or drink if her body felt the desire, but otherwise, as evidenced by the plate now half-full of dribble, she was to be a blank canvas and a prop.

Sensing she was wanted, Luna went rigid in her chair and turned to Starlight, then began to sag under her own weight as she caught sight of Starlight's hand on the gem that hung from her choker.

"Luna, Starlight says:..." her already dim expression disappeared behind a wall of fog, her eyes tracing the path of Starlight's finger towards her sister, leaking like a sieve. "refill Celestia's cup, won't you? Waste not, want not."

Luna took Starlight's meaning perfectly, and stood, gliding to her sister's side and reaching over her frenzied stupor. She took her tea cup, once again only half full, and put it beneath Celestia's weeping cunt.

It was brimming barely a second later.

Soon, it was back where it had been found, as was Princess Luna, wordlessly slumped forward, and again falling back beneath the smothering layers of her conditioning.

"Celestia, Starlight Says: end trigger."

The elder Princess froze. Her wild-eyed expression settled into a dreamy emptiness, and her legs returned themselves to the floor. She stood and readjusted her dress, though the dark spot left at her crotch remained, and then scooped each enormous breast back into their respective straps, before sitting herself back down, and scooting her chair back into place. It was all so marvellously clockwork.

Then came Starlight's favourite part.

The flicker of life slowly returned to The Princess' eyes, accompanied by restive blinks and then awkward fidgeting. A faint quiver came upon a lips, and a crease to her brow. One hand went to the back of her neck, and the other crossed itself protectively over her chest. Beneath the table, Starlight heard the sound of her foot beginning to tap.

Starlight saw her adversary as she was, a doll with fraying stitches that were rapidly coming undone. Try as she might to hide it, the Princess was more than rattled. Her gaze flicked away from Starlight's at every opportunity, only to return a moment later with a steeled resolve that had begun to rust through.

"Suh - So -" The Princess cleared her throat. The hand at her neck came down, just a moment, and took trembling hold of her teacup, bringing it to her lips. The look on her face, the blend of one million different emotions and thoughts as she tried and failed to rationalise the strange - and in her mind, impossible - taste of it as she downed a cup that was now half full of her own fluids, was a memory Starlight would cherish until her last breath. "So, Starlight. When do did you say the others would be joining us again?"

It was almost cute to watch her try. Celestia was attempting to goad her again. It was only fitting that a Princess who spent more time eating sweets than ruling her kingdom would be a glutton for punishment.

"I'm sure it will be any minute now, Princess Celestia."

"The traffic must be absolutely nightmarish to keep all the guests this long."

Starlight donned her most wicked smile. She narrowed her eyes, and brushed her curls aside, and for good measure, even tried to darken her voice, though she never could seem to get the evil lilt quite right. "The truth is, Princess, that they're never coming. They weren't invited. You're here so that I can torment and humiliate you, and then reveal my 'evil'. Is that what you want to hear?"

Starlight drank in Celestia's expression. A landslide of confusion, uncertainty, and just a hint of terror rolled down it before she partially replaced her mask of half-calm. She flicked to Luna, who sat, still gently drooling onto her plate, no doubt seeing a vision of reassurance entirely of her mind's own making, and then returned to Starlight with an uncertain nod.

Perfection.

Starlight began to laugh. Out loud this time. Manically, perhaps? Though she preferred the less opinionated term 'triumphant'. "Did you hear me, Princess?" she shouted, cupping her hands over her mouth. "I SAID I'M EVIL! ISN'T THAT YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO HEAR? YOU STUPID COW!" Celestia said nothing, her eyes glanced in Luna's direction again, and then back to her empty plate, staring at her own reflection with rapt focus.

Starlight reached for her choker and watched as Celestia's mind began to flicker. Her eyes fixed upon it, her expression draining as the hand drew closer, and filling with life again as it retracted. After a few false starts, she grasped the gem, turned it slightly and said: "Celestia, Starlight says: tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that your confession was another illusion." she recited in a hollow monotone. "That's why Luna didn't react. You're still trying to get a rise out of me. But it won't work. I believe that your illusions have tended to be more complex and obscene, so I am conflicted about whether or not you are changing to more subtle tactics."

Starlight chuckled, and brought her hand back to her teacup, her other snapping at Luna and rousing her again. "Luna, Starlight says: 'Illusion' Number 3. We wouldn't want to disappoint the Princess, would we?"

Luna pushed out her chair, and once again, Celestia's eyes jumped in her direction. As her younger sister slid beneath the lip of the table, the edge of her mouth began to twitch, the discomfort on her face as clear as day, and a priceless work of art. Beneath the table, Starlight heard the tapping of her foot intensify, and then stop suddenly, as Luna pried her resistant legs apart and held them in place, her eyes jumping downward and going wide at seeing her sister's peering back up at her.

"So, Princess Celestia, I was thinking... If you'd like, I could tell you all about it."

The Sun Goddess said nothing, her eyes still fixed downward, a scandalised look of anticipation to her face as she waited for what was to come next. Starlight took a sip from her teacup, and returned it to it's plate, and repeated herself. "Princess Celestia?"

"Hm? Wha - what did you say?"

"I said, if you're really curious, I could tell you all about it. My 'evil' plan, that is."

Celestia remained silent. She nodded politely again in faux agreement, and turned to face the empty air where she thought her sister to be.

"Just say it, Princess. Just say to me: 'Please, Starlight Glimmer, I'm much too stupid to figure it out on my own. Tell me how you bested me."

Still nothing. No reaction, save for her shifting slightly in her seat and pushing her teacup aside. "I think I - I might like a different cup of-"

Then like the crash of thunder, her balled fist struck against the edge of the table.

Starlight jumped in her seat, and set her magic to the task of holding everything in place, just in time to catch the enormous slab of rock that tilted violently towards Celestia, and set it back in place.

"Suh - Sorry." Celestia said through a hand now fixed to her mouth. "I - I thought - I saw - a - a bug." she all but plead to Luna's empty chair.

"That must have been quite a bug." Starlight quipped, knowing now by the increasingly rapid rise and fall of Celestia's magnificent chest that Princess Luna had set about her work.

"Sifter, perhaph you and I thould retyre a moe-munt to discuth thumthing in privut..."

"NO!" Celestia shrieked, as Starlight knew she would, and as one pair of princess-lips met another, making an audible suck. "No - I - I meant, no. I'm fine, Luna. Thank you for your concern."

"Did you get it?" Starlight asked. "The bug, I mean?" Celestia replied with a look that set the three teacups to boil.

"Juh - just - MUH - missed. But I - I WUH - will. Scuh - SCURying - ee - inSECts - have no - NO - place in my - IN MY - cuh- castle."

Starlight gave a beaming smile to match Celestia's hideous frown. "Well, you know how insects are. No matter how hard you try, they always manage to find a way in. You can't kill them all."

"JUHst - the ones - I SEE."

Beneath the table, Starlight gave Luna's right foot a prod, and a moment later, Celestia's face began to flush. Her breath was coming in heaves now, and she held to the seat of her chair for dear life, as her sister accelerated her pace, and the sound of wet, sloppy licking began to grow louder and louder.

Starlight turned to the window and saw the sun, already nearly to the horizon. Wistfully, she thought to herself that the sunset was so much more beautiful when Twilight was guiding it.

She knew, as it touched against the dark shadow of the distant mountains, that she needed to move things along. Tomorrow was the big day, and for all the fun she was having, her time was not infinite.

She brushed against Luna's left foot, and relief came to The Sun Goddess' face in an instant. Luna appeared in her chair a moment later, her face slathered in not-quite-cum, and her eyes once again vacant.

Celestia's arms wobbled, her eyes still upon herself. The look on her face said everything. Disbelief was the only proper descriptor, though it failed to capture the extent of her incredulity. She looked, to Starlight, not quite defeated, but utterly pathetic.

She had been waiting for this moment. Dreaming of it in fact. This was as it should be. This royal mediocrity, who had stood in her, and more importantly, Twilight's, way, for far too long, was now as she should have always been.

Though the clock was ticking, there was still time. Time enough for her to finish what she had started.

She took her gem in hand and said: "Celestia, Starlight says:..."

The Princess raised her head as if it weighed a thousand tonnes. Her eyes met the gem, and her eyelids began to droop.

Starlight took one long look at her, and felt an ocean of emotion dredge to the surface. Her voice low, and thick with bile, she began to speak. To explain to the Princess the true nature of her situation, and beyond that, the truth of her very being.

"you are..."

Author's Note

I had an extremely rare moment of what I think some people mean when they refer to "flow". I seem to only get one of them a year, if I'm lucky, and weirdly enough, only when I'm sleep deprived. REALLY wish that sorta thing happened more often or that I knew how to tap it, but in any case, here's a short chapter hot on the heels of the previous one, hopefully it reads alright. I wouldn't bank on this kinda turnaround happening again, but who the fuck knows.

That's right! Starlight has been in control the whole time!

Gasp! Shocked murmuring overtakes the crowd, and somewhere an aristocrat with a monocle cries out for his medication.

A masterfully executed twist that no one could've possibly seen coming, especially not several different people in the comments of previous chapters, so don't bother looking back into those comments, because none of them predicted it, and you can trust me on that because why would I lie about something that makes me look clever and talented and - and - and pick me teacher I'm ever so smart!

ANYWAY! Have you seen Barry? Have you played Bloons 6? What do YOU think Starlight said to Celestia? Probably that she's doing a crackerjack job and should keep up the good work. That would be a pretty cool way to end things, right? Let me know in the comments (but don't be right or I'll deny your existence like I did one paragraph ago).

See you soon~ish