Celestia glanced across the table as she cut into her pancakes. “We really should do something for the guards.”

“What do you have in mind?” Luna asked, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“That’s an excellent question. A little something to let them know that we care about them and appreciate all the hard work they do to keep us safe,” Celestia said.

Luna pondered this for a moment before offering a coy grin. “Keeping us safe? No offense, sister, but the guard hasn’t really kept either of us safe in several hundred years. Usually it's us having to guarantee their safety.” She chuckled. “Or, well, more like Twilight nowadays.”

“That’s…” Celestia frowned, popping a bite into her mouth, “that’s a perfectly valid point. But still, they do stand at attention in those heavy uniforms all day long. Plus, they are really good at keeping crazed ponies out of the palace.”

Luna nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Fair, fair,” she admitted. “How about we throw them a party?”

“Oh, that’s an excellent idea. We could put on quite the spread. What do the colts like these days?” Celestia asked, pointing her fork at Luna.

Luna shrugged. “I’m sure what they’ve always liked; abundant food, abundant beer, and a nice hole to slam their cocks into after a hard day on the job.”

Celestia’s face burned. “P-pardon?”

“Hmm?” Luna cocked a brow.

“What was that last one?”

“Oh…” Luna shrugged. “I mean, you asked what colts like and I was merely answering the question. After all, I have been present for my fair share of wet dreams. You have no idea how many guards want to do such unwholesome things to us.”

This did not help taper the heat in Celestia’s complexion in the slightest.

“How many?” she asked.

Luna hummed, obviously crunching the numbers in her head. “I’d say somewhere in the ballpark of one hundred percent?”

Celestia covered her face with a hand. “Our entire guard wants to fuck us?”

Luna nodded as she popped a grape into her mouth and chewed on it. “What? Have you never noticed it before? Aren’t you the slightest bit curious why so many of them volunteer for a chance at guarding our royal chambers?”

“I just assumed that it was a highly prestigious position!” Celestia exclaimed, shaking her head. “You know, like the Head Eunuch used to be before we had to get rid of it because…” She made air quotes, “it wasn’t ethical.”

Luna chuckled. “Nope, they’re just horn dogs who hope that you’ll show them favour and help them live out all their dirtiest fantasies.” She shook her head slowly. “You should see some of the porn that the Lunar Guards are hiding. So many of them are into BDSM. It’s kind of incredible, really.”

“And dare I ask how you know about the pornography of your retinue?” Celestia asked, cocking a brow.

Luna smirked. “I mean, they are transparent about it when I sleep with them.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. “You sleep with your guards!”

“Well yeah? They’re really fucking hot, sister. Have you never dabbled in yours before?”

“No!” Celestia shook her head. “No, no I have not, Luna. Isn’t that an abuse of your position, pressuring guards into bedding you?”

Luna threw back her head and laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Celestia asked.

Luna held up a hand. “I am just amused that you assume that I have to pressure them. Dear sister, most stallions are very receptive to the idea of a submissive mare in the bedroom.”

Celestia’s face burned brighter than the sun she controlled. “I did not need to know that about your sex life.”

“Anyways, we are getting off topic here,” Luna said. “We really should be planning this appreciation party. Now, for the spread, I think we should just ask the royal chefs to replicate their menu for hoofball night. The colts really seem to enjoy chips, dip, and deep-fried goods.” Luna frowned. “Actually, maybe an altered menu would be better; after all, queso, corn meal, and fatty oils do not make for the ideal fuel during an orgy.”

Celestia loudly cleared her throat. “And what orgy are you planning exactly?”

Luna shrugged. “I mean, I assumed we were going to offer ourselves to the guards.” She placed a hand to her chest. “After all, I am utterly committed to sacrificing my maidenhood to those brutes in your Solar Retinue.”

“I do not know if that’s a very wise idea, sister,” Celestia said.

“Oh, come on Tia, you can’t tell me that you honestly have no interest in bedding a royal guard,” Luna stated. “Your stallions are vigorous and virile and it's best to help them blow off that steam in a controlled and very pleasurable manner.” She smirked. “Let me tell you, the royal laundries have thanked me numerous times for reducing the number of spunk-filled socks that they have to deal with from the Lunar Guard.”

“I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation,” Celestia muttered, burying her face into her hands. “I mean… I suppose I have harboured some less than professional feelings for a few of the guards in my employ. I just don’t know if a state-sponsored orgy is really the best avenue to act on those feelings.”

Luna snorted and reached for a fruit basket, plucking out an apple and inspecting it. She then pointed the stem at Celestia.

“Come on,” she said. “Admit it, it would be so much fun. Just a constant sea of hunks for you and I to pleasure.”

Celestia frowned, mulling this idea over. She had never really been a submissive mare, though her own carnal experience had been lacking as of late. But still, Luna did have a point. A certain part of her psyche did find the idea fun. A whole evening to just cut loose and enjoy herself in such a beastly fashion.

“Fine,” Celestia said. “We can do your orgy.”

Luna grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, yes, yes, this is going to be so much fun, Tia. Now, we must begin planning things immediately. We have so much work to do if we want this to go off without a hitch.”

“We can begin discussions at dinner time,” Celestia said. “Your mind is already tainted by sleep deprivation and I don’t think heaping lustful intentions upon it would do your mental state any good.”

Luna frowned. “Alright, that is a fair point. Though…” She pointed a finger at Celestia, wagging it. “No chickening out.”

Celestia smirked. “You have my word, Luna.”

Author's Note

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