The Nuclear Diner

by idontknowyoupick

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Sex, Science Fiction, Fallout, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Random, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Narcotics, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 8050

When your trying to make cosplay diner, be careful of people trying to pay in props

When you make a fallout style diner don't let anyone pay for food using props especially if they look like the resident evil merchant.
and now there are armed anthro ponies pointing spears at me.

this is the first ever story i have ever made.
i am dyslexic and bad with writing as i have failed in class so be ready for some weird shit going down.

please let me know my mistake in the commits.

this story was inspired by A New Empire by Shadowflameking hes an amazing person.

Fallout 3, new vagus, 4, and some of 76 are used in the story.

THE SEX TAG IS NOT FOR CLOP, well there is only kinda.

Published 2020-04-23 08:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-02 05:50:34 UTC

Chapter 1 Made With Nuclear Love

Made With Nuclear Love

When your starting a business its a bad idea to start during a pandemic, especially when all the smart people stay inside or go to places they already know of.

Hello I'm the owner of The Nuclear Diner, my name is J last name doesn't matter. Well I'm just sitting down in my diner playing Fallout NV modded from original pip-boy to the Pip-Boy 2500A and it looks fookin cool, like I want it in real life type cool.

I'm getting distracted, the diner was your standard diner you would find in the 1940's, the tables have touch pads that activate when ever a nuka-cola cap the size of a coffee coaster, a 1.1 replica of the Liberty Primes head behind the hanging on the wall in between the menu,
that welcomes anyone who come in when turned on, there is a radio under the counter that plays fallout 3, NV, and 4 music and a button near the radio that play sound bits from music or memes when costumers are being rude to tell them to leave or shut up.

I know it would be a bad idea for that if you want to keep costumers but its funny as hell so I added it just for when friends are over or I get to that point where I or my employees don't want to say anymore to them.

There is a RobCo robot workshop on the right of the jukebox that has a mister handy behind glass and a workshop on the left with a mini nuke launcher bolted down on it with one mini nuke loaded and 3 next to it. on the left of the workshop there is a X-01 power armor holding Atom’s Judgement. now the one thing I pride myself on getting to add to this diner is a Cryolater that makings ice cream and helps makes drinks cold.

Now I was just playing fallout New Vegas on one of the TV in the corner so people can watch the news or for when kids want to game, but as I was finishing up a modded game, the bell on the door rings as the liberty primes head says in his booming voice "Welcome to the Nuclear diner, where everything is made with Nuclear love." as I was not prepared for it to speak it made me jump and almost drop my controller.

"Hello and welcome, how can I help you" I say as I see a cosplaying as the the resident evil merchant and I think I saw a shotgun under his coat when he look around.
Oh right I forgot to say I'm wearing a vault 21 jumpsuit without a pip-boy and a gun belt that has a prop off kellogg's gun with the scope that can only shoot bbs.

"Hello vault dweller." he says sounding like the actual merchant from the game. he walk around and sat down at a table as the table tablet lights up and chooses wanders meal of a nuclear burger, which is 2x's bigger the a normal burger you would get at a fast food place, cheese wedges, and a nuka-cola.

2 minutes later I brought the food out and put it in front of him taking the bottle cap. "I hope your enjoy your food." He thanks me and I go to clean the stove top, as I look through the server window I see he is already finished even though it hasn't even been a minute sense I left.

As I walk back out the the bill I feel a chill run down my spine making me shiver but walk it off, as I come up to the table I see the plate is clean like there wasn't any food there to began with and that should have been a huge red flag but I ignored it because this is the first costumer to come in sense this place opened. "Did you enjoy your food." I say as I pick up the plate and as I look in his direction I just see a empty seat with a pip-boy 2500A on the table and a note that says. 'Thank you for the meal it was delicious but I have to run please take this as compensation.'

As I examine the pip-boy closer I see that its the arm mounted 2500A that seems to be able to detach and reattach, and as I look close to the arm mount I see that it is made out of leather that looks expensive. 'How the fuck can someone just give this way for just eating this looks like a very fucking expensive prop.' I think as I go to put it on cuss why not its a fucking realistic looking pip-boy that better then the plastic ones they give you. As I put it on I feel a burning sensation under leather that is bearable until it gets hotter I fall down to my knees holding onto the table as the pain gets unbearable, as I start to black out from the pain a hear loud thunder and lighting strike right in front of the door as I pass out.

and then there was pain

"HOLY FUCKING HELL FIRE." Is all I could say as I woke up, there was just pain, it was like getting kicked in the head when someone was trying to kick a american football with all there might but my dumb ass decided I want to replace my head for the ball. I try and succeed in getting behind the counter as my headache as getting bearable till I heard the bell and the booming voice of liberty prime say.

"welcome to the nuclear diner, where everything is made with nuclear love."

The pain it just sky rocketed, I tried looking like it wasn't hurting but it was hard. "welcome how can I help you." I say in a strained voice, as I see blurry images of cold white and it seems a very tall person who is, as I can see white as a black dudes teeth at night, did I forget to say i'm a black white mix, back to the people I can barely see. As I my vision and my hearing starts coming back I see a spear near my face and hear someone yelling, which on reflex makes me scrunch my face up.

"Can you please lower your voice I have a massive headache and please get your toys out my face." I see something glowing on the tall white one and suddenly I could see and my eyes where probably as big as the pony that was waving a spear in my face and now i'm panicking so I did what anyone who's not good with spears in there face I ducked behind the counter.

I calmed myself down and came up from under the counter and was met with short anthro ponies in armor and one normal size pony who was white as fuck wearing a elegant dress and had a tiara on the top of her had. "Sorry for that." I clear my throat. " welcome to the Nuclear Diner, where everything is made with nuclear love, can I take your order." I say with a closed mouth smile.

Chapter 2 First Costumer

First Costumer

3 months, it took 3 months to get a permit, and it took 2 days to find out that that I could re-spawn after the Mr. Handy took my fucking head off. wanna know why, because it thought I was breaking in because
I have to use the back door to get in and out so the ponies don't see me.

That wasn't all I had to get a loan from the crown which was a hurdle in of itself because the nobles wanted to see if I was a pony or not but the princess said no which made the bank noble say no, and that went on for a month till the princess just gave me a loan from the vault. speaking of vaults, I found a teleporter and synth relay grenades, haven't used them yet but will when I get free time.

Speaking of free time I spent the last 2 months looking through the kitchen, walk in fridge, and wine cellar that was not there before, but it has more then wine and there is a RobCo robot workbench down here with charging pods with Mr. Handies making more drink.

oh and ya I change my name, hello i'm ten so fuck you i'm lazy and bad with names so i went with my fallout new vagus name, and it was the first thing when I looked for my name in my pip-boy, which i found out is super agro to anyone but me.

By saying that you must think its alive but its not, I think, but found out i could take it off and handed to the princess who almost lost her arm to how much electricity was going through her, I mean like I could fucking see in hear veins through her fur.

So now i don't have to worry about anyone stealing my pip-boy.

Right so you remember the console commands I have on the, I found the console command thing on my pip-boy but it only works for the fallout 4 and NV but I can't seem to spawn in npcs or turn on god mode or anything cheaty, expect for food, ammo, guns, and power armor, and some other stuff.
+
Now back to the present time, I just open the diner i put a sign out front under the name that says 'grand opening' and another one that says free drinks with ever meal for today only, refills are 2 caps.

And so i waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Till i came up the great idea to build a Mr. Handy for cooking, so i did that i made 4 and one head chef who's name is fires.

Than I 4 more to bus tables for me, and I found a book in my pip-boy on how to make drinks fallout style and pre-war.

I was just reading the book i found, when the a hear the bell above the door, i was about to look up when his voice said which made me jump again. "Welcome to the Nuclear Diner, where everything is made with Nuclear love."

"Oh why thank you darling." I hear a posh accent.

"Hello and welcome please find a seat you might like." Where do I know that from. I watch as a white unicorn with a sparkling long curled mane, I think its past her hips damn that's long, she had an elegant purple and white sleeveless dress and what looked like diamond heels. She was, if my guess was right about 5.4 in height not counting the heals which probably adds another inch.

She looked my way as i could see her face, and i still can't get over there huge eyes looks weird, was she had a little recoil. "Oh darling what are you wearing you look fabulous." She sit down at the bar as i set a bottle cap on the counter in front of her as a 3D screen shows up as making her jump. "Oh what is this I don't sense any magic from it and it looks so beautiful."

"Ya that is out menu that is a 3D screen, you can turn the page just by swiping your finger right or left and if you want the drinks menu just swipe up." She started looking through the menu.

She orders a nuka-cola float with fries.

Pulling out a sundae cup and puts a scoop of vanilla ice cream in it. "What flavor of nuka-cola would you like." the screen came back up showing the different flavors as i grab her fires from the heat rack as one of the Mr. Handy gives it to me as i look back she is still deciding.

She got a victory, and now you will see what happened when someone gets a nuka victory. Pulling out the bottle and points it towards her. "Congratulation of be the first costumer and choosing a victory." Popping the top 3 large peaces of confetti pops out as it make the noise of a party popper as little bits of fire works start coming out the top.

"That looks so beautiful darling how did you do that with the bottle and where can I buy."

Pouring the drink into the float and adding 2 more scopes of ice cream putting whipped cream sprinkling chocolate shavings and putting a cherry on top. "Well I do sell them but there not easy to make back where i came from it would cost you 40 caps and if your unlucky and not good at bartering it might come to 150 caps to 300 caps, so if we turn caps into bits it would probably cost 50 bits."

She looked at my face for the first time since she sat down, now you may feel insulted by it but I think she was looking at my fly ass outfit of a fresh and clean vault 21 jump suit, well when she finally looked at me she went wide eyed, best thing to do at a time like this and something i always wanted to do, i waved at her. "Hi my names ten whats yours." i said happy smiling closed, mouthed as they still can't dell with my teeth.

"Oh hello darling my name is Rarity its so nice to meet you, umm if its to rude what are you."

"well i'm a human or homo something i would need to look that up of what our scientific name is but i'm basically a advance ape without the tail."

"That's so interesting my friend twilight might like it to hear more about you and your kind."

"Well the next time you come why don't you bring your friends, oh and here." I had her 2 bottles of nuka victory. "Here this is on the house just make sure to bring the caps back for free fries."

"Why thank you darling." I just now notice she ate all her food, when the fuck did she finish how long have we been talking. "Well thank you for the meal darling it was tasted divine and thank you for the drinks I will definitely be coming back and bringing my friends." She pays for her food and leaves, leaving me to clean the plates and turn off the prime head because that shit scared me, and then it hit me, I found a my little pony sticker on the back of liberty primes head.

And then it hit me again, i'm flying.

Then again, i'm in a tv show for kids adult style.

And last but not least. "I should have watch the show instead of just reading fan fiction."

"I need to get some rest before i freak out." Walking into the kitchen I opened a door that leads to, you guess it, stairs to my room up them which is a normal room with white walls a bed with white sheet and a fluffy and weighted blanket and 4 pillows with a lamp on a table next to my bed. Hopping in the bed as my clothes change to pjs, i found i can use my mind to pull thing and put thing in and out my pip-boy, and gave the command for the Mr. handys to clean up, lock up, and guard the diner before falling into the land of dreams.

....

.....

Where am I.

Why is everything void like.

And then i heard it. "Hello human its so nice to finally meet you."

Author's Note

Hello I hope you liked my story it was hard to come up with conversation between two different people so that's why there's not a lot of talking.

If you find any errors please let me know in the comments i love feed back.

And i will be coming out on a scheduled for the story so stay tuned.

And please let me know how you found my story i would love to read about it.

Love you all and have a nice day/night

Chapter 3 Fallout For Dummies (Re-uploaded)

Author's Note

This is the new chapter 3 hope you all like it.

Chapter 3 Fallout For Dummies (Re-uploaded)

Fallout For Dummies

"Hello human its so nice to finally meet you." A mysterious and beautiful voice that echos all through the void of darkness.

"Um hello who's there." I say out into the void hearing my echo, okay now this is scaring me.

"Do not be afraid young one, for I am not hear to harm you only to meet you." I looked around for where the for the voice came from.

"where are you, show your self." I see a bright light in my corner of my vision. Looking over I see an alicorn with a dark blue coat, hair like the night sky that blows in a non existing wind, a lovely black dress that look like the stars them self where on it. I stared at her in a trance until her giggle broke it. "Um who are you if its not to rude to ask." I say, glade my voice didn't crack.

"Please excuse my rudeness of not introducing myself. My name is Princess Luna, Mistress of the night, and Guardian of dreams." I stared into her eyes, as they where like smooth sapphire.

"Um hello my name is ten I'm the owner of The Nuclear Diner, its so nice to finally meet you. I have heard a lot about you from your sister." I look up at her. She looks to be 6 foot 2 inches, but that's just my guess as I am 5 feet 11 inches.

"And it's is nice to meet you too, I heard a lot about you from my sister and about how she wants to try that ice cream sundae the element of generosity tried, and so do I, but that's not the reason I'm here tonight. I heard you can make weapons, ones that are completely alien to our own but similar, I would like to commission a weapon to be made by you."

I just looked at her letting her words sink in, as I thought about if I should make her a weapon or not. 'Well I can't make her a gun but i could probably make her a sword, wait do I even have the materials left to make anything, wait where can i get more material for making anything.

"Well princess I will see what i can do, if I can make you one I will send you a letter in the mail and how much it will cost." I could see the look of excitement in her eyes. And then I was off the ground.

"Oh thank you, I can't wait." And then I woke up. How the fuck am I going to get this done.

Getting out of bed I looked around my room seeing what looks like a closet and get up to see whats inside. Opening it and to my surprise there's a terminal with a head phone jack hanging on the side, so I do what most would not do, I detached my pip-boy from my arm and plugged it in, now remember this is not the pip-boy 3000 this is the pip-boy 2500A.
The terminal screen turned on as mail icon was blinking on the screen and my pip-boy so clicked it, it pulled up an email page from some kind of fallout style web browser, it pulled up mail i got named void, so i clicked on it.

It read.
'Hello vault dweller, how has your months been with the ponies, good i hope, I'm writing to you today to say welcome to the void, and to help you out.
I must say I loved that Brahmin burger you made and I hope you can share this delicious food with the rest of the displaced.
Oh right I forgot to say congrats on your displacement, I know you have been reading a lot of fanfiction before you came here so you know what to do. take care and safe, oh and here's a link to the void market to buy things you need.
void

"And this is the moment for me to freak out." And that's what I did, I curled up into a ball on the floor and stayed like that for a few hours.

When I got over the shock that this want's going to be a peaceful, ' oh you got transported to (place) to open a shop/diner
and the only thing you have to worry about is possibly changelings or some stuffy noble wanting to shut down my diner' but noooo it just had to be displaced where nothing goes right. I grabbed my pip-boy and press auto work button so the Mr. Handy's will take care of the shop and anyone who comes in as I just want to lay here and think of how not to lose anything.

3 hours later

I think I calmed down enough, now back to what was more important, well second important, there was a link I clicked on it and a website popped up that had 4 icons, one looked like a shopping back with food in it, the other one looked like the nexus logo, the third looked like fallout new vagus scrap metal, and the fourth icon looked like a book with a vault door on it.

I clicked on the book icon and it show up a shopping page with different books from the game and manuals on how things work, and they all costed bits, except for the perk books which costed caps.

I was scrolling through the books till I heard a knock on my door. "Sir you have visitors." I hear codsworth on the other side of the door.

"Okay tell them I will be down in a minute." I put my pip-boy back on my arm unplugging it from the terminal, and getting dressed in my vault 21 jumpsuit.

Walking down the stairs and out of the kitchen I see the Rarity with another pony and a dragon. "Hello Rarity its nice to see you again."

"Darling it's so nice to see you again, I would like you to meet my friends, fluttershy, and my little spiky wiky." She points to a butter yellow Pegasus wearing a yellow turtle neck sweater with 3 butterfly's on it, and jeans, and I must say damn her rack was huge, , it was probably bigger then Princess celestias, she had long pink hair that covering her face. Looking over to the short wingless dragon, he was purple with green fins, or where the spikes, going down his back, he had on a green shirt with a purple jacket and was wearing shorts.

Spike looks up at me from his menu. "Wow your tall almost as tall as Princes Luna, and can I get the Courier meal with a nuka-cola cherry."

"Thank you, I'm Ten its a please to meet you." I watch as he cringes from forget to say hi.

"oh sorry, its a please to meet you Mr. Ten."

"Oh no just call me Ten I'm not that old."

"If you don't mind me asking how old are you darling." I look over to Rarity.

"I don't mind I'm 17." I see a look of shock on her face.

"So young." I look over to fluttershy.

"Did you say something." She eeps which almost fucking made my heart stop.

"I was saying you are so young." I could hear her that time, it was hard but I work out what she was saying.

"oh wheres my manners its nice to meet you Ms. fluttershy."

"Eep um please just call me fluttershy." I had to try hard to understand her.

A Mr. Handy come over to where spike was sitting at the bar and put a brahmin steak burger, mac and cheese with sausage, and a nuka-cola, in front of him. Now I must say brahmin is as thick as a deck of cards so seeing him drool over it was fucking hilarious.

"Darling can I get herbivore Courier meal and a red wine and can you change the mac and cheese to fires."

"yes ma'am, and what can I get for you." I look over at fluttershy she didn't eep this time so my heart is safe.

"Um can I get um a salad with a sunset sarsaparilla and hay fries."

"Sorry ma'am we only have french fries."

"Okay then I will get those."

A Mr. Handy comes out and gives them there food. "well I got to go clean up my room I hope you all have a great day."

"Thank you darling and here are the caps you asked for." She hands me the nuka-victory caps.

"Thank you, your drink are on the house take care." Going back upstairs and go into my room just to look down at my mess.

Crouching down and picking up my dead bodies hand then dropping it. "Well you 3 are going to be a pain in the as to move."

Chapter 4 Hey Kids Wanna See A Dead Body

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5 Breaking Blue Blood

Breaking Blue Blood

It came faster then I though, a blast of magic that was shot through the glass and was only 2 minutes ago was burning my diner. Now I'm standing In the wreckage of the dining area as security bots clean up the burned table and chairs. Holding onto my brunt controller from my xbox it crumbles in my hand, I ball my hands into a fist, and scream into the air his name. "BLUE BLOOD I WILL KILL YOU!!!"

In the charging room I turn on 4 sentry bots and 2 assaultron, the sentry bots have Gatling laser, the assaultrons have there laser face and laser hands. Going into the back off the charging station I put in a code in a hidden panel, a hidden door opens up as bowling ball launcher is handed to my by arms in the wall, picking it up I put on my riot armor. "OK you buckets of bolts, you will follow me and stop anyone from stopping me from getting to my target, use non lethal was to stop them.

Walking out of my diner as security robots fix up the diner outside as well, marching up to the castle all the ponies in the street move out the way. When I get to the gates, I see guards pointing there spears at me. "stop right there your-" They didn't get to finish as my sentry bots broke the spears using there body, the assaultron breaks down the gate as we keep moving to the thrown room.

No one got in our way, walking up to the doors to the thrown room there are 2 guard trying to stop use, but like the guard at the gate my sentry bots move in there way, the two other sentry bots open. Inside I saw celestia sitting on her thrown as blue blood was saying something like. " auntie please help me this mad pony is try to kill me." or something like that.

I handed an assaultron my bowling ball launcher and runs up to blue blood just as her turns to face me. I punched him, hard, like he was spinning in the air 6 times till he fell 10 feet away. "I'm going to kill you mother fucking piece of horse shit."Golden magic was holding me back. " I'm going to fucking skin you alive you shit brain little piss ant fucking bitch." I stop struggling to get out the magic after a few minutes I stop struggling.

"What is the meaning of this." Looking over at celestia, I see that she is pissed. "Explain yourself now or I will throw you into the dungeon, as I can see there's a reason to why you stormed my castle and punched my nephew, but it better be a good reason."

"This filth tried to burn down my diner unless you send disguise guards to burn down my diner." My anger starts lowering as I talk it out with her.

"Do you have proof of this happening." She looked at her nephew, I'm not good at reading expression but I think she feels indifferent about this.

An assaultron comes up and shows a hologram of blue blood destroying my robot then trying to get me to pay for his shit, it zooms in on a guard on blue bloods right who has no helmet on, he was a unicorn with a dark blue mane, and purple coat, then it cuts to outside the restraint showing the same unicorn shooting a spell into my diner and it catching on fire.

I look away from dead piece of shit and look at the princess who has is talking to a guard, the guard nods and leaves. "This is enough proof to throw him in jail but what you did was unexceptionable, I can see your motives but do not barge into my castle just to punch him. Because of this you will be fined for punching royalty and barging into the castle." I just looked at her wide eyed as she just smiled at me, I did all this thinking I would be thrown into the dungeons I did not expect to get away with this only with a fine, shit I hope I can pay it.

"Princess if I may, I would like to fight him, or he can send people to fight for him, and we can put a bet down. If I lose you will own my diner and everything inside, but if I win he will lose his title as prince." I says this looking the princess dead in the eyes.

She had thinking look on her face, I looked around the room and I think I saw one guard looking at the princess with a begging look, like he ether wanted me gone or the prince, I will have no idea. "Let me think about this a little more, and I will send a guard or letter to inform you of my decision."

"Thank you princess." Bowing out of respect I left as my robots followed.

When I got back to he diner, the outside was already fixed but going inside was still a mess with Protectron fire brigadier taking out any fires that where still lingering. The bots went back to their charging ports and I went upstairs, checking on the pip-boy I see that its done installing the software, Unplugging it the screen flashes before an audio recorder app opens asking for displaced info. "Well fuck I knew this was coming but so soon, well at least I might meet more humans, and hopefully earn more caps." I say that last part under my breath.

Pressing the record button I take in a deep breath. "Hello vault hunter, you just found a pip-boy 2500A, you can make transactions through the pip-boy as buying freshly made food, drinks, weapons, even mercenary robots. All you got to do is
sign, or make account from the pip-boy and give a call, we are always here to help. Oh and ps if you want the diner experience just put your token into the pip-boy and you shale be summoned, Good day and happy hunting." I say doing my best radio announcer voice.

Dropping the pip-boy a void rip opens up pulling it in then closing. Well I don't know if I made my life worse our better, well fuck it guess I got to wait and see.

Going over to the terminal I check out how many caps I got, I have 2 million, a pop up shows on my screen saying 'would you like to fix your diner only cost 30,000 caps.' I clicked yes but another pop up window came up saying 'would you like to open up a new diner in ponyville, cost 500,000 caps.' Thinking about it I just click yes.

Going to the dlc screen, I found the dlc's I needed and bout them, they cost 400,000, so now I have 199,070,000 caps.

Going to the teleporter room I found a security robot installing something, going to the diner I see more security robots cleaning up and fixing the diner. "Where the fuck did these things come from I don't remember making them."

"You did not make them sir, they where provided by the void company." I looking at codsworth I show him I understand by make that understand face.

Checking my pip-boy I see I have a pack of cigs, so going out the back door of the diner I go and see how smoking feels like.
Looking up I notice its night so I just watch the moon and stairs in the sky thinking.

'I'm going to kill him.'

Chapter 6 Wedding Bells

Wedding Bells

Waking up can be easy, but I am feeling super tired and lazy so it took 2 hours to get out of bed, as I fell back to sleep. Getting out of bed, getting dressed, bathroom stuff done, I walk down stairs to start my day, then it hit my. "I'm not ready for this duel." I have never shot a gun, not counting the two to the head, but I have not been working out or even practicing my aim.

Going into the teleport room I find that a terminal has been installed, checking the terminal I find that there are 2 places I can teleport to that are conveniently labeled gym and gun range, and one named ranch. "Hey codsworth did I get any mail or anyone come by to tell me something."

Codsworth comes in the room wearing a top hat and monocle. "Yes sir a guard came by to tell you that in 4 months the dual will start, I believe he is going to get outside help to fight you and it will take time to collect them all, but that's just my theory."

'Mother fucker this is why I don't want to be displaced, I just wanted to be magicked here.' "Or it could be for the wedding that is happening in two months." My eyes go wide as I realize what season I'm in, just kidding I only read fanfiction I'm a closet brony, only thing I have ever seen of the show is through reviews. "And sir you have a letter."

He hands me a pink envelope, opening it I see its a invite to a wedding and to cater at one of the princesses wedding, and that they will be stopping by to try some sample food to see what they want to serve. "This is all to perfectly timed, next I'm going to get an add for supplements to help me get stronger in a shorter amount of time. "My pip-boy lights up, looking at it I is showing an add for 'healthy' supplements and drugs to get me in shape only costing 20 caps.

Looking at my pip-boy I just say the first thing that came to mind. "I fucking hate displaced, a shit I forgot I made a token fuck me." Looking around I see that codsworth left, so I just hop into the teleport after telling it to take me to the gym.

When I get there I feel woozy as I have never teleport before, looking around I'm in a white room with what looks like a hologram room, I see a terminal, walking over to it I look through it finding personal trainer that will work with me for a month only costing 200 bits, or I could get an extreme workout that will take a month but cost 3,000 caps.

Guess what I took, yep I don't have 3,000 caps anymore but now the room changed to look like a military camp as a synth relaid in a military outfit, so just come back in a month.

1 month later

Coming out the teleporter I look around slowly, look up, then lets out a unholy screech, codsworth comes in just as I finished cleans me up right then and there while telling me some important stuff that I missed. "And sir the bride and groom are here to sample and pick out a menu for the wedding." Fuck.

Getting changed into my vault jumpsuit, I come down stairs into the diner where I see the 2, Shining Armor is looking around, and Cadence looks like she's about to jump out her seat, I stay in the kitchen and over hear the conversation.

"I don't know about this place, yes its high tec but I don't think they have the type of food you would server at a wedding."

"Don't worry about it sweetie, I heard about this place from princess Luna." God damn it should have known it was her doing. "And I believe they can make a lot of tasty foods and probably an amazing cake."

Singling over the head chef bot I walk out the kitchen, the both lock onto me immediately, which is fucking creepy. "hello um I'm sorry I did not get your name."

"Oh right our back, hello my name is Mi Amore Cadenza, but you can call me Cadence, and this is my hubby Shiny." She grabs onto his arm sandwiching it between some f cups.

Sitting down in front of them with the chef bot next to me we talked about what to put on the menu, I cooked them food they could try, I let them try the different sodas and colas it toke about 3 hours for the food.

Then it came to the cake. "Wait how many layers do you want to added to your cake again."

"We want two 25 layer wedding cakes." My jaw dropped, not because it was to demanding but because I knew I would have to make it again, like fucking come on that's going to cost me like 60,000 caps for 2 cakes but for four that's like 80,000, we would have to do a lot of over time at night to get back all those caps.

"Is that to much for you." I hear shinning say.

"Oh no we can get that done, we will be using the castles kitchen so it should not take to long."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you." I was hugged by the f cups to the face.

After the hug they left to go back to the castle so I went to make more chef mister handy's, then go back to the training to get fully in shape.

Another month later

Coming out of the teleport room you could tell I was worked to the end of my life then brought back, I died a total of 40 times this month, I was taller about 6 foot 4, I am now taller then Luna by 2 inches yay, I am stronger, faster, and smarter as I had to do a lot of shit, I am more aware of my surroundings.

Taking my pip-boy off my arm mount I check what close I have, almost forgot I am not super buff, its more like if I put on a lose shirt you would never tell I worked out. Now back to checking out what I can wear, I put on chef outfit from fallout 4 and leave the diner with 10 mister handy chefs.

As we make our way to the gates we show our invites and get it, going to the kitchen we set everything up and I put a few relay points in the castle on our way to the kitchen, we are a week early so we can prepare everything. OK a lot of the prep work was boring so we are going to just skip this and go to where the tv show starts.

"I wander if I can get a shot on blueblood before I find crissy."

Author's Note

This is shorter because I have not seen the wedding so I'm going to watch that before making a new chapter.

Chapter 7 I Love The Smell Of Burnt Bug In The Morning

I Love The Smell Of Napalm In The Morning

I'm going insane, not the good kind, dying so many times has fucked me up in the head and now I'm cooking a cake in riot armor with a flame thrower on my back, I can't wait to taste some grilled bug, I can't stop smiling and I have to keep my helmet off because it gets hot fast.

All the other chefs are just looking at me and my bots as we make the food, let me say this they are not mister handy's, they are Mr. Gutsy with flamethrowers, I'm just so exited, then I heard it the shield popped, I almost fucking sqeed, so I turned around put my helmet on take my flamer off my back and say in my best sarge voice. "ANNOTATION." all Mr. Gutsy got in a line behind me.

"OK you bag of scrap metal today we are going to be cooking some bugs, I want to see fully cooked bugs no half cooked and no burnt, we have a lot of lizards to feed (I started the farm) and I want to feed them the best of the best do you understand." And then I hear the church bells ringing of robotic.

"SIR YES SIR"

And right on cue 3 changeling bust down the kitchen door, we all point our flamers at them. "This was a bad day for you 3 to come to work." Ah just hearing there screams made me happy I could almost cry, but instead I just laughed. "HAHAHA."

"Alright you dumb rust buckets split up into the city and get my that lizard grub." I watched as they left the room and out the window or down the hall, so I do what I need to do, walking through the castle and cutting ponies free from pods is a hard chore so I just tell them to stay in there room because this is not an escort mission.

Walking down another hall I look out the window and admire the scenery and all the dead body's. Making my way down to where princess Luna is supposed to be I look in her room and see shes asleep, walking in I take out a pant brush and pony body paint, and paint her body and face.

Walking down hall after hall burning bugs and free ponies get boring really fast, pulling out my mini gun I let her rip, the halls was a mess after I left but hey I'm only cleaning up the cooked bugs so haha have fun cleaning that up. As I'm mowing down fly's I see a door with bluebloods cutie mark on it and kick in the door I wish I had not.

It was kinda fun but kinda sad, there we was thrusting away at a maid who looked super bored, he was sweating and trying to be all sexy like but it just made me cringe, closing the door I leave not wanting to see that ever again, like how fucking small does your dick have to be that they look bored.

Making my way to the thrown room, still trying to get that image out of my head, I stand in front of the closed thrown room doors with 3 Mr. Gusty's behind me, grabbing a cigar from my pip-boy I light it using my pilot light on my flame thrower. "You boys ready."

"sir yes sir."

Getting closer to the door I kick it in seeing Chrysalis shoot Candace away from her as she lands next to shining, pulling the trigger half way turns on the pilot light making a poof noise, making everyone our way so I take the cigar out my mouth. "Say hello to my little friend." And I full pull it shooting flames right at her.

"You dumb creature do you think a little flames and stop me!" Nope that's why I'm letting the mister gusty's put up a flame wall as I sneak around and come up behind her, pulling out lucky I point it at her head and pull the trigger, I watch in slow mo as she turns around and glory kill activates and her head goes pop exploding everywhere.

The mister gutsy's turn off there flamers so we don't burn the queens body. "That when easier then I thought." Looking at the ponies they all look dumbfounded at me then the bug queen and I hear the scratched voice of one pony saying the magic work.

"What the buck just happened!"

Oh how brings music to my ears. "That my friends is called a messy clean up." And I leave the room relaying back into the kitchen as a Mr. Handy cleans up the mess and we get back to cooking.

"I was so close to burning them." I say as I keep cooking.

One of the mister handy's turns to me. "pardon me sir can you repeat that."

"No." Setting everything up on the trays and dollies, we role out the food to be set up in the ballroom. As I set up a table with the cakes, so glade I didn't have to make more, I Hear a group coming to the ballroom. "Alright people put your uniforms on." All mister handy's put bow ties on and I change into a server outfit, we all go behind the tables and I go to the bar.

The ponies start coming in the room, standing up straight, I put on my best closed mouth smile. The music starts they cut the cake and everyone parties, I served drinks to ponies and cleaned cups and the bar top, till one pony I dreaded comes over.

"Hello um I Heard a lot about you by my friend Rarity and was wandering, how did you make them."

I just looked at here and smiles. "That is a secret of RobCo .Inc so please do not ask any questions about them or there product."

"Oh okay, what are you, where did you come from, why do you ask for the bottle caps of the nuka-cola bottles only, what did you use on the queen of changelings, why did you take all the changeling body's, where did you take them, wher-"

Clearing my throat got her to stop talking. "I'm human, I come from earth, because I can, no, not going to answer that, and stop asking me questions."

She looked down and walks away.

The party when off without a hitch and I make it back into my diner, going straight to the recharge room, going to the back where the bots are made, I turn it on and make a costume eye bot with stealth and a relay transmitter, going outside I hold the eye bot under my arm as I come to the edge of cantorlot. Looking at my eye bot I throw it off the edge as it floats away, looking behind me, there is a cart full of 9 eye bots, turning them on and throwing them off the cliff, I got back to the diner and wait.

Going up to my room I lay in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. "I almost forgot why I want to kill some of them."

Pulling up my pip-boy I take out some nuka-gummy and eats them. "I'm going to make more of them, these taste amazing."

Author's Note

Sorry If some of these story's have been falling out I have been losing inspiration for everything, next chapters I will try my best to make better chapters after this.