//-------------------------------------------------------// Oh how I wish... -by Nocturnalis Storyhart- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// ...that was me. //-------------------------------------------------------// ...that was me. You have been invited to the wedding of Big Macintosh and Sugar Belle. It will take place in Sweet Apple Acres at the next moon. Reception will be in the barn after the wedding. We hope to see you there! Marble Pie sighed, as she laid on her back in her bed and looked at the invitation. She had gotten it a month ago. She sighed again, turning on to her side and putting the invitation on the nightstand next to her bed. A wedding invitation to a wedding that she never wanted to happen. But what could she about it? Marble Pie didn't know. After a few minutes of thinking, and looking at a boring blank wall, Marble pie got up and got her diary out of a drawer on her nightstand. With it, she grabbed a quill and an inkwell, and placed them on her bed. She opened up her diary to the next blank page, and dated it. She then began to write. I have been invited to the Wedding of Sugar Belle and *gulp* Big Macintosh. They are getting married, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I don't even know why I thought I even stood a chance. Why I thought I could ever be enough for him. For any pony. Look at me. I'm boring and grey, and work on a rock farm for Pete's sake. While Sugar Belle has flair and a real talent. I am quiet and shy, while she speaks her mind. One could suppose that when you have the Element of Laughter for your sister, your twin no less; you would think that you might have more in common. Years ago, Pinkie's spunk and spirit always seemed foolish. Why did you need smiles and laughter, when all you were going to do for the rest of your life was farm rocks? Oh, how I wish now that I had even a sliver of her optimism and courage. If I did, who knows what could've happened? I could've told him how I felt, and then I could be the one that he loved. I could be the one that he got excited to see and show off to others. I could be the one to bring out the best in him. I could be the one getting married today, and with the bright future with him. And not just I, but us. We could've been the ones that fell in love. We would be the ones getting married today. We would've been the ponies that after today, would live happily ever after. We. A thing that will never be. Marble Pie stopped writing, and she sniffled, wiping away a tear from her eye. After catching her breath, she continued writing. Why would we be a thing? Why do I even care? What is it about him that makes this hurt when it shouldn't? A lot of ponies get married, and others are happy for them. You know others who are married, but that doesn't mean you wish you were in their horse shoes. Well, maybe I have wished that I was the one getting married, like it was my special day, but it has never been where I wanted the groom for myself. What do I do? What is wrong with me? What do I do? It seems a bit late to tell him how I feel. Maybe I should've told him last Hearth's Warming. But no, 'cause Sugar Belle was there. He loves her, and not me. He never loved me. I am just family to a friend of his little sister. We hardly know each other. Yeah. I am barely anything to him. Just a pony he sees around the holidays. He never saw me as anything more, I'm sure of it. But still! I'm sure he loved me at one time, even if he doesn't now. Our first Hearth's Warming is just proof! I saw the way he looked at me when Pinkie introduced us. I know exactly what went through his mind, because we are the same! When I met him, he was just like me: quiet, a little shy, and didn't exactly like the spotlight. Also, we are both farmers who have to work hard for a living. We just clicked. And what about our kiss? When every pony else was distracted with what they were doing and who they were talking to, and we found ourselves alone and under the mistletoe? It was my first kiss, and I could feel that it was his as well. I can still remember all the sensations, even now. His lips tasted like warm apple pie out of the oven. He liked me, but maybe it was because I wasn't upfront that he lost interest in me. Or maybe we're too similar. He might have wanted someone different from him. You know, the whole opposites attract thing. Maybe he found those differences in Sugar Belle, that I just lacked. That hole in him that I could never fill. Sugar Belle. It all starts and ends with her. Ever since he met her, it has been Sugar Belle this, and Sugar Belle that! She is the reason he isn't mine! This is all her fault! If he had never met her, I would be the only mare on his mind! Yeah, it is her fault. Entirely her fault! How could she even think that she's good enough for him?! I am the farmer with a backbone and a true purpose! If it weren't for the rocks I farm, buildings wouldn't exist. Walls, wells, multiple buildings and structures, and so much else depends on the rocks I help to farm. And what does she do? Bake cupcakes! Big deal! Pinkie Pie does the same thing, but so much more too! I am the only one worthy of him, despite what any pony else might think! Me. And me alone! Marble Pie stopped writing again, set down the quill in her hoof, and read over the last few paragraphs she had just jotted down. Well, she did more than just read, she downright glared. She was so mad at Sugar Belle. But, as a million regrets and what-if's filled her head, her expression softened. Marble pie now just felt downright guilty. She sighed, and picked up the quill and continued to write. What am I saying? I don't even know why I am so mad. This is not like me at all, to get so bold and scary. I repeat, this is not like me at all, and I don't know why I am mad. It is not Sugar Belle's fault, not hers at all. This is just something that happened. Another chapter in the book of life. She won Big Mac's heart fair and square. I have no right to try and deny him happiness. If it is her he chooses, and not me, then so be it. I just hope that he's happy, and that Sugar Belle takes care of him, and loves him just as much as I do, although that might be impossible. I wish them the best of happiness, and I hope they have a good life together. This is the path that they have chosen, and now I must take mine. We are all in charge of our own lives, and our own choices. But I make an oath to myself here and now: if I ever find someone that I can love just as much as Big Mac, I will not hesitate to try and make them mine. I will find my voice, and show them the real me. I will learn from my past mistakes, and I now write my own destiny. The future is now mine to choose. But there is this one thing that will ring in the back of my head probably for the rest of my life: Oh how I wish that was me. Author's Note What was going on in Marble pies head when she saw Big Mac and Sugar Belle? One can only imagine. This is just one possibility. https://img.youtube.com/vi/GhqQi58fbsw/mqdefault.jpg