Anon, The Cuddle Slut: Origins

by DatZigga

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Other
Length: 9693

A human gets intimate and affectionate with horses. No, not that way. Mind out the gutter, bucko.

Avon “Anonymous” Smith, through effort and teaching, has finally grown comfortable with his lot in life as the dimension hopping human of Ponyville. However, after a party, Avon finds himself in a compromising position with a mare and word spreads fast. Can Anonymous shake his newfound reputation? If not, can he profit from it? How far can I go before this becomes downright smut?

Note: Not sure how to tag this, to be perfectly honest. There won’t be any explicit sex. However, there will be heavy double entendre and allusions to more mature topics. As such, it will be tagged mature. I’m VERY sorry.

Update 8/14/20: I’ve decided this will NOT be the story proper. I’ve lost motivation to finish it and I had something better in mind for this same story concept. So, yeah. Sorry.

Published 2020-07-08 23:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-07-12 09:46:51 UTC

The Morning After

Avon opened his eyes. This was actually easier said than done, as his eyelids were dead set on remaining closed. Avon groaned, which he immediately regretted as he was washed in an unfamiliar feeling. His head pounded like a second heart was implanted in his skull and he felt that he was in constant motion, despite knowing he was as still as a board.

He lamely patted the area around his bed for the phone he knew he left on the bed with him. Fortunately, that he had some success with. He pressed the home button, shielding his eyes from the even brighter light. Saturday. 1:43 PM. A late start to the day, but it wasn’t like he missed anything.

That solved the mystery of today, but not of yesterday. Why did he feel so hungover? Why is he hungover? Avon had never drank anything remotely alcoholic, let alone drank enough to put himself into what he presumed was a blackout state. Ever the detective, Avon silently sworn to solve this mysterious, for no other reason because it was the only thing to do.

Over the course of 30 minutes, Avon rose from his bed and stood in the middle of his dorm room. Surely now would have been the time a snarky roommate would have something witty to say about Avon’s current situation, if he had a roommate that was. Instead, a feline sitting where said roommate would sleep lazily stared at Avon with disinterest.

“You got something to say?” Avon asked the cat accusingly. The cat said nothing, as expected. Avon rolled his eyes and looked about the room, his head held in his hand to cradle a pounding sensation.

Avon’s eyes settled on a mug that laid across the floor. It was a wooden mug too, one with a little of its former contents lightly spilled. Avon slowly knelt down and picked up the mug. With a whiff, he was capable of deducing the smell: Apples. It was likely a cider from he-knows-where. Now that he knew the what, he moved on to the why. Why was he drunk off his ass? Avon feared what he had gotten into, as he had no recollection of the night before. He was lucky there wasn’t anyone sleeping in the bed with him.

Avon absentmindedly scratched his stomach, feeling the dried spots of where cider stained his clothes. When he lifted his hand, however, he found light pink strands of hair on his fingers. Looking down, he further confirmed that he was covered in pink fur, not unlike he would find himself after holding his cat. Avon let out a deep sigh.

“Welp, no point in dancing around it.” Avon said back to the cat, picking up a book on his desk. “Someone in PV has gotta know what went down last night. Let’s hope I didn’t get into any trouble.”

Avon flipped through the pages of the book. He had never fully understood exactly how to activate the portal, no matter how many times he actually did it. Twilight did tell him exactly how it worked, but it was long-winded and his mind was on classwork, not portals. He stopped on a familiar page. That answer to his book problem came naturally to him.

“Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria.” Avon read, before quickly setting the book down. As soon as he did, the book took a life of it’s own, flipping through its pages at an incredible speed. Slowly, a gateway began to form. The portal opened to his home away from home in Ponyville, a recent change that was made with the help of Starlight. It’d be inconvenient to keep appearing in the Castle of Friendship after all. The cat jumped off of the bed, joining her owner in staring through the portal. Avon looked down at her.

“Bree, hold the fort for me, m’kay?” He asked the cat. The cat said nothing of course. “Anyone comes in, tell them I went to a world filled with magical talking horses.”

With that being said, Avon stepped through the portal.
———————————————————————————————————
“The least you’re could’ve done was talk me out of it, Spike.” Avon replied, before splashing more cold water in his face.

“That’s not how you drink a glass of water.” Spike reminded Avon, taking the glass back from his bipedal friend. “And if I remember correctly, I explicitly had to talk you into it. You already wouldn’t go.”

“Blame Pinkie.” Avon wiped his face with a rag. “I didn’t want a “Welcome Back” party, yet she forced me to go to one anyway. And I’ll blame you for advocating on her behalf.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You have a bad habit of not taking responsibility for your actions.”

“And old habits die hard.” Avon tossed the rag at Spike, which draped over him like a sheet ghost. “Regardless, I still want a play-by-play. I went to this party, overestimated my tolerance, then what?”

Spike pulled the rag from off of him and folded it up. It was his room they were sitting and talking in, so any mess he made would fall upon him to clean.

“Are you sure you want to know?” Spike asks hesitantly. “You were pretty weird the whole night. You might not want to hear all the things you did.”

Avon squinted. “Are you making this sound worse than it actually is?”

“I might be.” Spike said with a smug grin. Avon stared at Spike before suddenly spring towards him with his long, spindly human arms. Spike, caught by surprise, was unable to escape quickly enough to evade Avon’s grasp. Avon then noogied Spike inbetween his head spikes. “Come on, quit it!”

“I’ll quit it when you stop bein’ a lil shit.” Avon said. Of course, he wasn’t hurting the little dragon. In fact, it would’ve been quite difficult, considering that while his scales were notable more pliable than one would expect, they were still hardy. No, the act was much more annoying then harmful, causing Spike to squirm from his grasp. Finally, Avon let go. “Now, tell me what went down. Spare nothing, no matter how embarrassing, ‘kay?”

Spike rubbed his head, glad to be freed. “‘Kay. If that’s what you want.”

The Night During

“Drink the water, sugarcube-“

“Put in my moooouuuth.

“Drink the-“

“PUT IN MY MOOOOUUUTH.”

The ponies were left in awe at the absolute state of Avon. The party was meant to be a small, uneventful “welcome back” party in Applejack’s barn after it was discovered that Avon didn’t have to leave Equestria forever like they all thought. In fact, Avon himself explicitly wished for a small party, as he was known to enjoy. However, something clearly had gone wrong somewhere.

“Um, Pinkie?” Twilight finally asked, as the elements watched Applejack try to wrestle with the intoxicated human. “I don’t want to assume this was your doing, but would you happen to know what’s going on?” Pinkie tapped a hoof to her chin, in thought. However, it wasn’t long before she gave an answer.

“Well, I wanted this party to be extra special, so I had Applejack prepare a barrel of some more “mature” cider, if you catch my cold~.” Pinkie slyly nudged Twilight, before delivering a quick sneeze that shot her up in the air.

“Okay, that makes sense.” Twilight wiped the residue from her coat, hoping she didn’t really catch anything. “Did you tell him the ciders were alcoholic?”

“Oh, sure I did!” Pinkie beamed. “I remember it as if it was only a couple minutes ago. He was already drinking cider by the mug, talking about how he hadn’t been eating or drinking all day because he was so busy with schoolwork and housekeeping. When I told him it was the good stuff, he gave me this really funny look! It was as if he was staring at something approximately 1000 yards away!” Pinkie briefly laughed, trying hard to get through her story. “Then, he walked away muttering to himself. I think he was saying something like ‘old duck, old duck, old duck.” I tried asking what an old duck had to do with cider but he ignored me. Ah, what a funny guy, right Twilight?”

“Oh sweet Celestia…” Twilight muttered to herself in her own thousand yard stare. Rainbow, who had silently been holding her breath for the duration of Pinkie’s story, broke into laughter as she fell on her back, squeezing her torso. Pinkie, in her usual style, joined Rainbow Dash in laughter for no real reason she knew of. Meanwhile, Applejack was still wrangling with the human.

“Listen, sugarcube.” Applejack tried to offer the mug of water to Avon, who merely pushed it away as he lied on his back. “Ah reckon you’re gonna be sick if you don’t drink.” Avon finally took the mug in one hand and pulled himself up, giggling all the while like a toddler. However, when Applejack let go of the mug, it nearly dropped as Avon wasn’t actually holding it. Rarity, sensing her friend in trouble, captured the mug in her magical grip.

“Come now, Darling.” Rarity approached Avon and held the mug before him. “You can surely drink the water yourself, can’t you?” Rarity tried to smile, but it was more of a pained grimace if anything. Avon pushed the floating mug away from him.

“No.” He said, rather indignantly. As he talked, it looked as though he would pass out at any point and even swayed side-to-side as if he would, but he never did. “What’s the point?” The tone nearly sounded hopeless, until he started giggling again. Rarity looked over to Fluttershy. She jerked her head towards Avon a couple times, silently pleading for more assistance. A drunk human was a challenge no pony ever faced, but a wounded animal was a close second, at least for Fluttershy.

Fluttershy cautiously approached, joining AJ and Rarity. “Avon, you’re going to be very sick if you don’t drink-“

“I’m not sick!” Avon shouted defensively. “You’re sick!” He pointed an accusatory finger at the yellow pegasus, an act which merely made him fall over despite being seated on his ass. He then, in an over exaggerated gesture, placed his hands on his chest. His shirt was stained with water from previous attempts to sober him. “I’mmmmm well~! I feel great!” He shot his arms high into the air, as if to prove a point.

“You’re going to feel bad tomorrow.” Even Fluttershy had to hold back a chuckle. She trotted over to Avon’s side, taking the floating mug in her wing. She placed another wing around his shoulder and placed the mug to his lips. Avon grabbed the mug and tilted both the cup and his head back, spilling some of the contents on to his shirt once more.

“Well, at least he drank some of it.” Applejack whispered to Rarity.

“Twilight would want you to drink the water.” Fluttershy continued. To this, Avon’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

“She would cause she’s niiiice~!” Avon slurred, looking over at blushing Twilight who attempted to hide behind her wing in embarrassment. He turned back to Fluttershy, grabbing the mug and waving it around. “Give me more then! Give me more!”

Fluttershy gently took the mug away from the manchild and left to retrieve more water. At least she tried, before Avon suddenly grabbed a hold of her back legs, rooting her in place. He then rested his head on her flank, nuzzling the spot where here cutie mark was imprinted. Fluttershy eeped.

“Soft~.” He whispered loudly, an oxymoronic action to say the least.

Fluttershy’s face slowly grew red. “Oh…my…”

Rarity, coming to her rescue, slowly tugged at Avon’s clothing in an attempt to pull him off. However, his grip was tight and Rarity didn’t want to risk ruining the tailoring that she put all her effort into. Rainbow and Pinkie walked over to join the rest, while Twilight lagged behind.

“Hey, ‘Von. Did you have fun today~?” Dash teased, giving a smug, ingenuine smile. Of course, Avon couldn’t tell the difference.

“I did!” He shouted with glee. His words still slurred, only made worse by his nuzzling into Fluttershy’s behind. “I made a new friend! Her name is Fluttershy!”

“N-no, that’s a friend you-you already had!” Dash barely got out before another fit of laughter.

“Yeah.” Avon continued to talk, oblivious to her laughter. “And, and I also made friends with Twilight and *burp* buh-Binkie Bie!”

Pinkie giggled in amusement. “No, silly! It’s Pinkie Pie!”

“Pinkie Sky!” He corrected, only not really.

“Pie!”

“Guy!”

Pie.”

“Lie!”

“My name is Pie.”

“My name is Pies!” His hands once again shot up in victory, finally freeing Fluttershy to go hide in a corner. “Like multiple pies. Many pies. Or at least two.” Rarity levitated a napkin to wipe at Avon’s face.

“Honestly, a little cider and he’s worse than Sweetie Belle when she was learning how to speak!” Rarity had to dodge multiple attempts at Avon trying to grab at her mane. “How much did he drink?”

“Ah reckon half the barrel.” Applejack peered into the barrel, seeing that most of what was in there was gone. “Poor fella. He oughta have the worst headache in the mornin’.”

“Nooo.” Avon answered more one in particular. “I would never! What do you take me for?” Avon laid down on his back, spreading himself out wide on the ground.

“Twilight, dearest. Do you maybe have a spell or something that could do...well, anything?” Rarity pleaded.

“I’m afraid he’s magically...intolerant.” Twilight admitted, rubbing a hoof behind her head.

“Intolerant?” AJ scratched her head with a hoof. “What in the hay do you mean ‘intolerant’?”

“It’s something me and Starlight tested with him.” Twilight began to enter her lecture mode. “You see, given that he comes from a non-magical world, he would have non-magical biology. So, not only does magic have next to no effect on him but if magic was directly applied he might-“

In pure comedic fashion, Avon threw up to his side. Rarity had still been holding Anon’s shirt with her magic and that energy was passively entering his system. As a result, the puddle of bile had a rainbow colored hue and sparkled.

“-discharge.” Twilight finished, hanging her head low. Avon caught sight of this and began to pout.

“Oh noooo.” He said, eyes beginning to well up with tears. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to...I just...I…” Avon rambled quite pitifully, attempting to stand up, only to be in a constant of unbalance. The group didn’t know if this was Avon beginning to sober or if this was just the next phase of his drunkenness. The one pony who cared not for the distinction jumped to his side.

“Oh, poor Nonny!” Pinkie cried. She wrapped her hooves around him, embracing him in a tight hug. “Don’t worry. Your best friend, Pinkie Pie is here!” Avon, through his sobbing, returned the hug, squeezing her just as tightly. This ushered an “aww” from everypony witnessing.

“Um, well,” Fluttershy attempted to find the right words, still a little dazed from early. “I suppose he is a lot more emotional now, right?”

“Yes indeed.” Rarity agreed. “I must say, I kind of find it endearing how genuine he is, if a little childish.”

“I say we should get him to drink cider more often!” Rainbow chimed in. “Who knows what we can get him to do or say in this state!?”

“Nope.” Applejack asserted. “One, I am not allowing you to take advantage of him like that. Two, I gotta be the one to make all that cider if we did!”

While the girls talked amongst each other, Twilight steadily approached Pinkie and Avon. The two were still hugging it out, despite this now talking considerably longer than a minute.

“Are you okay, Pinkie?” She asked, seeing that Avon had his face buried in her neck. Pinkie, on the other hand, had an odd look on her face. Her smile was one that was awkward and even in her pink fur, Twilight could see the red in her cheeks. “You look a little...stunned?”

“I’ve had a lot of hugs, Twilight.” Pinkie stated, oddly serious in tone. “This one feels...different.” Twilight took a step back and looked more carefully. As it turned out, it’d be more honest to say Avon was hugging Pinkie. He had pulled Pinkie’s entire body against his, leaving no room between them. Avon’s hands were also slowly caressing the pony. It was more reminiscent of a cuddle than anything, yet the more Twilight stared, the more she felt like she shouldn’t.

“Uh oh.” Pinkie said, snapping Twilight’s focus. She saw too late that Avon had, at some point, passed out completely and was falling forward. Twilight quickly corrected Anon’s position mid fall so that he didn’t end up laying atop the poor pony. Instead, he now laid on his side, cradling Pinkie like a child would a teddy bear. The other ponies rushed over, crowding around the two.

“Darling, are you alright?” Rarity asked.

“Ya need help getting out from there?” Applejack added.

Pinkie laid in silence, thinking about it. The act was easier said than done, as his heartbeat permeated her thoughts. Instead of thinking then, she focused on her senses. She focused on his warmth, no doubt a result of all the blood coursing through his from the alcohol. She focused on the alien musk, lightly scented in some sort of body wash unfamiliar, yet oddly pleasant. She focused on the sound of his breathing, matching with the push and retreat of his lungs against hers. She focused on the primal feeling she had only since felt when she was a filly on the rock farm. A feeling of near helplessness and smallness, as if any of the rocks she mined could fall and crush her. At the same time, another feeling was present, one she was almost sure she never felt.

A feeling of...submission.

“Huh.” Pinkie said, having concluded her feeling session.

“Huh?” Rainbow tilted her head. “Do you need help or not, Pinkie?”

“Nah.” Pinkie responded, waving a hoof in dismissal. She then nuzzled deeper into Avon’s chest like a pillow. “I think I’ll stay down here for a bit. I feel...safe.”

All the ponies stood in silence, looking between each other with confusion and awe. After a while, they each came to an unspoken agreement that they should probably leave the two alone to do...whatever they’re doing.

“Then Twilight said that they all left the barn with you two inside.” Spike wrapped up the story. “Once the sun came up, you two still hadn’t let go of each other. Twilight had to tear Pinkie off of you and carry you to the portal herself. Well, I helped.”

Avon sat in silence, staring at the floor beneath him as he sat. He, of course, wasn’t staring at anything in particular. He was far too focused on the extremely detailed story that Spike had given him. The two sat in silence, only until there was a knock on the door. Seconds after the knock, Twilight parted the door.

“Oh, Spike!” She called out. “I’m respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your guardian by coming in any-“ She froze when she saw Avon in the room.

“You know, Twilight, just because you state your intentions doesn’t make the act any less intrusive.” Spike argued. However, Twilight barely processed the words of the little dragon as she stood apprehensively, her face flushed.

“Oh, Avon!” She greeted with excessive sincerity. “I-I didn’t know you were here. Um, are you feeling better?”

Avon stood in silence, hesitating before asking, “Your levitation spell works on me, right?” Twilight was struck by the sudden question.

“Well, by using your attire, yes.” She answered, trying to look in every direction but his. “We tested this.” Anon nodded.

“I thought so. Aight imma head out.” Avon began to climb Spike’s window sill slowly and deliberately. It should be noted that Spike’s room was not on the ground floor.

“Avon, no!” Twilight shouted, her horn flaring.

Author's Note

Most of this chapter’s dialogue is this clip verbatim. Do yourself a favor and watch it. I know nothing of getting drunk but I hope it is exactly like that.

Teacher’s Pet

Avon took a walk around Ponyville. It was for the best really, after all Twilight suggested. You know, after pulling him from the window sill. He assured her he wasn’t actually going to jump but given prior engagements, it was a chance she wasn’t willing to take. And so, a princess mandated stroll it was. Spike offered to join, but Avon declined. He wanted to ruminate on his recent decisions and the situations that got him to this point.

Firstly, and most importantly of all, no drinking. Avon thought to himself. Momma was right to steer me away from that shit. He casually admired the town around him as he walked. He briefly reminisced on when he first came here and everyone had gave him worried, curious stares. Now, for the most part, he was greeted with smiles and waves, like anyone else. He smiled back, offering a smaller, less pronounced wave.

Avon looked behind, to the newest addition to the town: The School of Friendship. It was a recent edition to the town, still under construction. The word around town is that Princess Twilight Sparkle was opening a facility with the intent of spreading friendship to other races around the world. When Avon first heard it, the concept was more than a little concerning. Did this imply that not only was the concept of friendship not innate in pony society, but less so in all the other animal societies? Did this mean that dragons, yaks, and the like we’re generally seen as incapable of making friends?

It was a discussion he had with Spike the few days they got to link up. Spike had used his heritage as a dragon as an example. He told Avon about how Spike’s species had an inherent greed and penchant for isolating themselves, being overall aggressive and prideful. However, Avon questioned if these were really natural traits or if ponies only believed that dragons were naturally aggressive and greedy. For days, the two discussed and had yet to reach a conclusion between the two. With Avon’s knowledge of his people’s history and Spike’s lack of knowledge for his, it was a nice academic exercise for the both of them either way.

One thing the two did conclude was that the Storm King’s sudden invasion of Equestria was the catalyst for the school’s creation. However, Spike went a little further to suggest that Avon’s very arrival to Ponyville was also pivotal to the decision. After all, here was a creature, argued Spike, who appeared suddenly and without reason to their world. When he first arrived, he pushed everyone away and rejected friendship. However, after being given a set of objectives to complete and time to complete them, he slowly grew into a more trusting and more approachable person. Now, that same human that was isolated serves as a wealth of knowledge to a world that was once unknown and distant. In conclusion, argued Spike, Avon had unknowingly served as the test bed for the idea of educating creatures in friendship through similar methods to that of public education.

That damned drake. Avon shook his head with a smile. He was so damn proud of himself when he told me that. Maybe dragons do have an inflated sense of pride! Avon chuckled to himself, reminiscing about that conversation. He caught sight of a schoolhouse ahead of him, coincidentally as he was thinking about the other school. With his thoughts now firmly cemented in education and away from the previous night, he continued his walk towards the school. Who knew what he might find there, if anything at all. It just seemed like as good a place as any to walk toward.

Avon stood at the schoolhouse’s steps, admiring its emptiness. It was a weekend back at home, so he suspected that maybe it was the same here. Or, perhaps the school day had just simply ended. Either way, he didn’t see any of the fillies and colts on the playground nor did he hear anything in the building proper. Curiosity getting the best of him, he slowly peeked his head in.

The single classroom was empty, save for one: Mrs. Cheerilee. She sat at her desk, a pen in her mouth, writing something down. Avon took a guess that she was grading work, although he also guessed that it was very uncomfortable given how she had to do it.

Earth ponies sure drew the short stick. Avon sympathized. He leaned against the door frame, passively watching the mare at work. He knew precious little about Ms. Cheerilee. He had briefly met with her when he was offered to spend a day with the children, the day he met Diamond Tiara. They exchanged a few words, but from those few words, he could tell that she cared for her students.

Enough to struggle at their expense to grade their papers. I mean, it was almost pitiful to look at. The pencil fell from her mouth more than a couple of times. Granted, she also looked deadly tired and uncoordinated, further implied by the cup of coffee left next to her. Avon could feel the rising empathy in his cold heart, so he knocked against the frame of the door. This snapped the mare out of her trance, having her shoot up straight like the pencil in her mouth. She looked to see Avon leaning on the door.

“Oh.” Ms. Cheerilee started, pencil dropping from her mouth. “Hi, Anonymous. I’m surprised you came to visit the schoolhouse, let alone me.”

“Actually, it’s Avon. It’s a long story.” Avon corrected. He pushed himself off the frame and started walking to Cheerilee’s desk. He grabbed a spare chair and attempted to sit. Emphasis on attempted, as the chair was so small, he may as well have just sat on the floor. That’s what happens when you take the chair of a foal about the size of your knee. He set aside the useless chair, instead choosing to sit on the corner of the desk. “Anyway, I was just in the area and thinking about schools.”

“Ah, so you’ve seen the new School of Friendship.” Ms. Cheerilee nodded, grabbing and taking a sip of her mug. “It’s a novel idea. A school based around teaching students important social skills and etiquette.”

“You ever thought about applying to be a teacher there? You know, when it gets built?” Avon has figured that maybe the School of Friendship would serve as a replacement for Ponyville’s Schoolhouse.

Cheerilee shook her head. “Oh, I couldn’t! I mean, who would run this school? This schoolhouse is going nowhere, least of all me.” She picked the pencil back up in her mouth and tried to speak clearly as she did. “I mean, who else will teach the young minds of fillies and colts.”

“A noble profession.” Avon watched as Cheerilee again struggled to grade papers. He bit the inside of his cheek, before speaking again. “Although, it seems like a...challenging one.” Cheerilee looked back up, confused, until she realized the pencil in her mouth.

“Oh, you mean this?” She spat the pencil out onto the desk. She blushed lightly. “Yes, I suppose it can be a little tough. I don’t have a horn after all. It doesn’t help that I feel particularly...unwell today.” She looked away, her cheery smile flattening into a melancholic expression.

“You sick?” Avon asked. Cheerilee opened her mouth to reply, but hesitated briefly.

“...In a way, yes.” She shook her head, smiling once more. “It’s nothing to worry about though! I’ll be fine.” Avon returned a smile, nodding in agreement.

“I bet you will. Still, it looks like that, at least for now, you could use a little help.”

Cheerilee’s eyebrows raised ever so slightly. “A little help? How so?”

“Well, given your...situation, I could offer to grade for you.” Avon showed off his hands, wriggling his fingers. “These little guys can do things you would not believe.”

“I do not doubt that...” She muttered under her breath, watching the fingers as they wiggle. She coughed into a hoof to break her fixation. “I suppose I could use a break. But, you aren’t familiar with the work. How are you going to grade.”

“Well, I meant that I write for you. You just gotta tell me what to write down.” Avon reached for the pencil, then stopped. Remembering where it had been, he reached for the tip of the pencil, cautiously lifting it up. He used his shirt to wipe away the saliva from the eraser’s end. He prepared himself to write, only for Cheerilee to stop him.

“One moment!” Cheerilee exclaimed, before leaving her seat. “I think it’s best for you to sit since you’re doing most of the work.” She offered the chair with a hoof.

“I can’t accept that, teach. Horse or not, you’re still a lady and my mom raised a gentleman. Keep the seat.” Avon returned the gesture, hoping Cheerilee would take her place again. Instead, she looked down, seemingly in thought. When she looked back up, she seemed more nervous than she was a second ago.

“Um, perhaps we can...share the seat?” She asked bashfully, one hoof rubbing against the other. For a second, it was like he was addressing Fluttershy for a second. “T-that is if you want. I don’t want to suggest anything that would make you uncomfortable. We’ve only met a couple times and-“

“Aight.” Avon answered simply. He had to admit, it was a strange request, especially from a teacher he hardly met. However, he was no stranger to ponies sitting on his lap. He took his seat and sat back, allowing for Cheerilee to take her place. Cheerilee was hesitant, standing by the chair with a flushed look about her.

But before Avon could ask if she had second thoughts, she quickly placed a hoof on his leg. Little by little, she slowly climbed herself on his lap. The mare was quite big, but she was able to sit laying on her size, if albeit curled up more than usual. When she was settled, Avon leaned in to get a better view of the papers that laid before him. Cheerilee stiffened, as his head was awfully close to her. In their current position, both were able to comfortably view the desk before them in close proximity.

“Alright, give me the word, teach.” Avon readied his pencil. The assignment turned out to be a book report, asking for the student to give a summary of what they read and what the book had to offer. The first of the papers was for a colt named Pipsqueak. After some more hesitation, Cheerilee spoke up.

“Oh, well, there’s a misspelling right about there.” She pointed with a hoof. “I usually just mark it with an ‘Sp’ as a shorthand.” Avon quickly wrote down the suggested shorthand. As it resulted, his writing arm pressed tighter against Cheerilee, causing her to jump.

“You okay?” Avon asked worriedly. Cheerilee was quick to answer.

“It’s fine! It’s fine.” She said, wiping a bead of sweat. “It’s just been a while since I’ve been this...anyway, there’s another spelling mistake. Pipsqueak is not that great at spelling.” Avon shrugged off her response, deciding it best not to press her. She was tired and potentially sick, as she said.

For a good half hour, the two sat at the desk grading together. Avon functioned as the hand, Cheerilee the brain. With this set up, they had blazed through assignment after assignment in record time. However, Cheerilee could care less about that. While part of her mind remained focused on her job grading her students, another part was taking in every little detail of Avon.

She felt his heartbeat against her back, along with the rise and fall of his chest. In direct contrast, her heart had quickened its pace in a way it hadn’t before. She took note of the touch of the human’s thin hairs and smooth skin against her coat as he wrote on her behalf. She could even feel the warm jets of air that came from his nose as he softly breathed against her neck.

Cheerilee felt as though she was trapped in the arms of a stranger. However, it wasn’t wholly a negative, fearful feeling. It was true that she felt helpless, like at any given second, Avon could just pick her up and carry her to Celestia-knows-where. However, she also felt paradoxically safe, as though nothing would come to harm her, least of all the human. With precious little space between them, it was as if they shared a moment of oneness.

“Yo, Cheerilee. You still with me?” Avon asked for the 3rd time. Cheerilee awoken from her trance with a start. She looked back up at Avon, only turn back away embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry.” She muttered. “I just...lost my train of thought.” She attempted to sit up straighter, until she felt a hand stroke her mane. The light tugging and gentle touch made her melt within the human’s lap.

“I get it, but I wanted to ask about this.” Avon pointed the eraser tip at the paper he was currently grading. On the paper was a stick figure doodle, one with two arms, two legs and a head, drawn in the margins of the paper. Cheerilee shifted a bit to get a better look.

“What about it?”

“Notice anything odd with your students?”

Cheerilee shock her head. “Can’t say I have. Why-“

Avon flipped the page. On the back was around a dozen similar drawings, each of a human figure in a bunch of different poses. Some were given bizarre poses which demonstrated a clear misunderstanding of human anatomy. Cheerilee’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh my.” She slid the paper closer to her to confirm what she was seeing, “That is admittedly peculiar. Perhaps it’s one of the CMC’s handiwork. They were always fond of you.”

“This is Diamond Tiara’s paper.” Avon corrected, flipping the page again to show the name written at the top. “Found similar doodles on Silver Spoon’s paper. I swear, I’m starting to suspect I’m developing a fan club.”

This got a chuckle out of Cheerilee, followed by a sigh of content. She had to admit, the day had taken a surprising turn for the best. She wasn’t in her best of moods and she expected that she’d spend the day alone as she usually had. And yet, here was Avon. He not only offered to stick around on a chance encounter, but even offered to help with her work. Not to mention he gave her the privilege to sit in his lap, a privilege that was reserved for…

Cheerilee sighed. She didn’t want to think negatively, not a time like this. She wanted to enjoy this moment for as long as it lasted. Before-

“That’s the last of ‘em, chief!” Avon exclaimed, stretching his arms and yawning. The yawn transferred to Cheerilee, although she attempted to suppress it.

“Oh, are we?” She looked at the pile that had accumulated in a completed stack. “I hadn’t noticed. I was just so...comfortable.”

“I could tell.” Avon chuckled. “There were a couple times there I thought you were going to fall asleep there. Would’ve been a problem, considering I don’t know where you live.”

The two shared a laugh. For Cheerilee, it was interrupted by the sudden feeling of being lifted and set back down on the floor of the schoolhouse. The floor was a lot colder than she had suspected and the same could be said for the air temperature. She couldn’t remember if the room had always been this cold or if it was just because she was separated from Avon.

“Alright, I’ll get outta your hair.” Avon stood, pushing the chair into the desk. “I’m sure you got a life outside of school, Cheerilee. I’ll leave ya to it.” Avon began walking towards the door, while Cheerilee stood still. Her mood had dropped significantly in such a little amount of time. A part of her almost felt betrayed in a way. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to really say anything. She never felt this way before. The only comparable feeling was…

“Take care, teach.” Avon gave his farewell, stepping down the stairs. For him, his day had taken a pleasant turn. Although the work itself was not nothing but a chore, it felt nice to be needed and, in turn, helpful. He figured he would head back to his home dimension. There was still studying to be done, chores to do, and responsibilities to uphold.

“Wait!” Cried a voice from behind him. Avon turned with a start, only to find Ms. Cheerilee standing atop the stairs. Once Cheerilee got his attention, she sighed. “Could you, just, wait one moment?”

“Is something the matter?” Avon turned completely, willing to help in any way he could. “Are you too sick to head home alone?” Cheerilee frowned, looking away. She rubbed her foreleg again, with that same bashfulness from before.

“I…” She took a deep breath before resuming. “I heard about what happened last night.”

“What?!” Avon blurted out. “I-I mean, what have you heard?”

“I heard about your...incident.” Cheerilee continued, rubbing the back of her neck. “Rainbow Dash was talking about how you were less of yourself that night.”

Avon turned away for a second. “That snitch!”

“Pinkie was with her. She had talked about how you, ahem, hugged Fluttershy and her.” Cheerilee blushed again. Avon sucked his teeth, rubbing his arm in remembrance.

“Yeeeeah, that wasn’t a proud moment.” Avon thought a little longer, specifically why she brought any of this up. Then, his eyes widened in fear. “Oh my God, wait! Cheerilee, I would NEVER do that to one of your students!”

“I wanted to-what?!” Cheerilee was taken aback.

“I know you saw those doodles but I had nothing to do with them!” Avon frantically continued, closing the distance between them. He got on one knee and held the mare’s hoof in his hand. “I would never even think about drinking around any child, let alone get frisky with them!”

“What?!” Cheerilee repeated, pulling her hoof away. “Avon, no! I didn’t think you would touch my students.” Avon paused, before sighing with relief. He then broke into laughter.

“Oh thank God!” He admitted. “I just got over that night and I was worried I made you think I was some pedo or some shit.”

“Avon, I would never think that!” Cheerilee said seriously, playing a hoof on his chest. “You are a remarkably kind and patient individual. I have never felt as safe in any ponies arms as I have in yours, more so than I have in a long time. And I do mean a long time…” Cheerilee looked away, her eyes scrunched together. Avon’s face grew more concerned.

“Cheerilee?” Avon asked, unsure if he even wants her to continue. That wariness made Cheerilee all the more anxious to say what she wanted, but she swallowed the fear as best she can.

“Anonymous. Er, Avon.” Cheerilee said, avoiding eye contact. She hesitated, then looked directly into his eyes. Her eyes were pleading and sad, which created a pit in Avon’s stomach. “Could...could you cuddle me for the night?”

One Lonely Night

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh-

“Uh.” Was all Avon could really think to say. The request was seemingly innocent enough, yet he couldn’t help but sense a deeper implication.

“I know this is sudden and we hardly know each other. But, that’s kinda why I think it would help.” Cheerilee continued. “Please, I know this is sudden and weird but I just thought that…” Her voice trailed off as she failed to find the right words to say. Avon shook his head.

“I mean, I can offer to listen to...whatever you got going on.” Avon offered as an alternative. “My hut is nearby. We can...discuss there.” The words felt dirty on his tongue, but it was the best he could do. Cheerilee merely nodded, avoiding any eye contact.

The two took a brief walk to Avon’s old home he took when he first came to Equestria. On his behalf, Spike made sure that the home was neat and tidy, I’m the event Avon ever felt the desire to stay the night in another. The sun had begun to fall, the moor eagerly rising to take its place. Meanwhile, Avon was trapped in his mind,

Okay, so a horse wants to cuddle with you. That’s not the worst thing. I mean, you’ve done it before, right? I mean, it’s just hugging but lying down. She’s an animal. It’s only weird if you make it weird.

Avon had slowly calmed himself. He found that it was best to approach his problems with rationality. Cheerilee clearly was a mare that was curious, just like the other ponies of Ponyville. Who wouldn’t want to be groomed and petted by someone with opposable thumbs?

The two reached the door, Avon taking deep breaths as he fished for his keys. He briefly looked behind himself to check up on Cheerilee. Although Avon had calmed somewhat, Cheerilee seemed to have gotten more anxious and bashful, like she was doing something taboo. Was she? Is something happening that Avon doesn’t quite grasp because he doesn’t fully grasp pony culture?

Stop thinking like that. Thinking like that is gonna make things worse. Just go with the flow and relax.

With an exhale, Avon opened the door. “Come on in, Ms. Cheerilee. Don’t worry, I don’t bite.”

The statement was meant to be in jest, but it only came off as awkward and unintentionally sinister. Nevertheless, the mare trotted inside. Avon followed behind, closing the door while checking outside for anyone that might’ve tailed him. He wasn’t sure why he worried about someone following them, but he couldn’t help but double check. He turned to see that Cheerilee had taken a seat on his couch, sitting anxiously as her eyes darted around the room.

“Here, let me get us something to drink. It looks like we both need it.” He muttered, jogging to the kitchen. He checked the fridge for anything to drink. To his chagrin, the only item in the fridge at all was a bottle of wine that Rarity had gifted him. He remembered assuring her that he would definitely drink but since he wasn’t a drinker, he stuck with apple cider and water. Both of which he seemed to have neglect to restock since he left.

You gotta be fucking kidding me? Since when did I become an alcoholic?

Making the best of his situation, he took the bottle out of the fridge and took two glasses. He figured he would play this cautiously. Last thing he needed was to accidentally get wasted again and do something he’ll seriously regret. He walked back out into the living room.

“You fancy a glass of, um, wine?” Avon asked sheepishly, part of him praying she says no. “Otherwise, I afraid we’ll be drinking tap.”

“Oh, it’s fine.” Cheerilee waved a hoof. “I have spent more than a few nights out with Berry Punch. In fact, I could use a glass admittedly.”

Damnit.

“Damnit.” Avon muttered, low enough that Cheerilee couldn’t hear. He took his seat on the couch, as far from Cheerilee as possible, which wasn’t much. He poured out the refrigerator chilled wine into two glasses best suited for containing milk or orange juice rather than something as dignified as wine.

“Thank you, Avon. You’re far too kind.” Cheerilee smiled, easing into her seat as she took a sip. As her eyes were closed, Avon studied the mare carefully. She was still the cute teacher he always thought of her as but something definitely changed. In the comfort of his house, drinking wine, Avon was made acutely aware of two things. 1.) This is an older mare, possibly older than any of the Elements and 2.) She was looking far less like a horse sitting on his couch and more of a woman. The second observation caused him to gulp.

No, Avon. That is a dangerous line to tow. The species gap is there and there for a reason. Do not forget.

“So,” Avon took the smallest sip of his wine, barely consuming a drop. “About that peculiar request…” Cheerilee nodded, sighing deeply.

“I’m sorry if I caught you off-guard.”Cheerilee apologized, looking away with shame. “I’ve been feeling worse than usual these days. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“You’re talking about that sickness, right?” Avon asked. “You did mention you were sick.”

“I didn’t mean sickness in regards to an ailment.” Cheerilee sighed again. “I meant more...lovesick.”

Avon nearly choked on his drink, causing him to cough and spill his drink on his shirt. His shirt was now wet with wine. “Pardon me. Swallowed wrong.”

Fuck! Intuition, please fail me now! Don’t tell me it’s as it seems!

“I’ve been feeling lonely for a while now.” Cheerilee confided in the human, oblivious to his own anxiety. “For a while, I wasn’t sure why. At least, I told myself I didn’t know why. The truth is...a previous relationship fell through.”

“Damn, that’s rough, buddy.” Avon said. He watched as Cheerilee poured herself another glass, downing the glass in one gulp. He, in turn, silently poured his wine out onto the floor behind the couch. He knew he was going to have to clean it later but the situation has gone dire and he needs to be of sober mind. “This relationship, was it a...romantic one?”

“It was. Although, it had an interesting start.” She started to giggle, hinting that she was becoming influenced. “We originally had no interest in each other but then we started to talk. He was a wonderful stallion. He always knew what to say, even if it was nothing at all. A hard worker and he cared for his family. What more could a mare want?”

Anon raised an eyebrow. “I’m starting to suspect who that stallion is.”

“Alas, we slowly drifted away. I didn’t even notice at first.” Cheerilee lamented. “Before, I didn’t feel the need to have a special somepony. Now, I can’t stop
hoping I’ll find one.” She laid her head in the spot between her and Avon, looking up at him with half-closed eyes.

In other words, the fuck-me eyes. God, this was such a terrible idea. She’s gone from cheery teacher to Christmas cake real quick. I thought this was a fantasy land?

“Come on now, Ms. Cheerilee!” Avon said with a false optimism. “I’m sure there’s a stallion somewhere out there for you. I mean, in this paradise? There’s gotta be at least one.”

“Not for lack of trying, Nonny.” Cheerilee lamented. Her eyes widen a little. “Heh, that’s what Pinkie Pie calls you, right?”

We’ve escalated to pet names. Wonderful.

“Not for lack of trying.” Avon echoed. “I always insist we stick to a first name basis, but she’s the Notorious P.I.E. You just can’t tell her what to do.” Cheerilee giggled then fell into full on laughter, clutching her gut.

Oh, come on! You don’t even get the reference!

“They all talk about you, you know~!” Cheerilee teased, pointing a hoof at Avon. He noticed that Cheerilee’s disposition had changed. She started to grin. “And I don’t just mean Pinkie and her friends. All of Ponyville talks about you. The mysterious human that sometimes walks our streets, getting into antics. Other times, hides himself away in the castle or in an abandoned home at the edge of town. A cold, uninviting exterior, with a kind and compassionate soul underneath it all.”

Avon blew a raspberry. “What a romantic image. I assure you, I’m nothing special.”

“That’s just it.” Cheerilee propped herself up on her forelegs, her lower half still laid across the couch. Avon’s eyes wandered to the mare’s tail flicking back and forth. He gulped. “You have such humility. Although you push others away, you rarely lash out. When you do, you attempt to make amends. When Ponyville was under attack, you fought to protect total strangers. The same strangers that ignored you.”

She placed a hoof on his leg.

No.

“I saw how you cradled the CMC.” She continued, slowly pulling herself towards Avon. “How they followed you and how you protected them from danger. I also saw how you comforted Diamond Tiara in her moment of weakness. You accepted responsibility, even when you didn’t need to.”

Her hooves rested on his chest.

NO.

“You’ve touched the hearts of so many.” She continued, returning to her melancholy state. “The Elements appreciate you. My kids adore you. Spike idolizes you. The princesses honor you. Ponyville accepts you. And I can tell that you love us all.”

Cheerilee presses her muzzle against Avon’s nose. His face was flushed and his heart briefly skipped a beat. Afterwards, it pounded in his chest and flooded his ear drums. Cheerilee looked into his eyes, so close to his.

“I only hope that you could share that love with me, and me alone, tonight.”

Oh shit, nigga, what are you doing?!

A silence filled the room, only penetrated by the beating of heart and heavy breathing coming from Avon. His thoughts ran amok, coursing through his brain, down the stem and through his veins. He was held in a moment of eternity. The mare was fully on top of him now. Her chest pressed against his, her lower body sat on his lap. It was the closest anyone had been to him, at least in an intimate way. It was enough to stir the depravity between his leg. Avon struggled to think of something, anything. He scrunched his eyes and summoned every part of his mind, body, and soul to make a decision. To do something.

Lord, show me how to say no to this. I don’t know how to say no to this.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally grabbed Cheerilee by the shoulder and pushed her back, just enough so that there was a hand’s distance between their faces.

“Ms. Cheerilee, I can’t do that.” Avon practically whispered. “You’re under the influence and we’re two different species.” Cheerilee sat in silence, but she hardly seemed undeterred.

“I-I know!” She nodded, her eyes watering. “I-I wasn’t thinking we should...but your touch! I just want to feel your embrace!” Tears began to run down her cheek. “I just felt so awful and you’re so kind! When I sat in your lap, wrapped in your arms, I was helpless! Helpless, but safe! I don’t know how else to explain it!”

“Cheerilee, I-“ Avon started. He had to admit, this development was not one he anticipated. However, before he could protest or ask more, Cheerilee threw herself onto him, wrapping her hooves around his neck. She pressed herself harder against him. Avon had to summon every fiber of his being to not explode right now. The last thing he needed was his dumb virgin ass to bust one at such an emotional moment.

Hold tight, little buddy! I need you to not make a horny, depraved fool of me right now! I know an older woman/mare is sitting on your junk right now, crying for love, but you need to keep your shit together! For her sake, at the least!

“Lonely. I just feel so lonely.” She said, her voice muffled in Avon’s chest. She lifted herself enough to wipe her eyes of tears. When she spoke again, a sad smile formed on her lips. “But not when you hold me. This feeling is just too good!”

“Oh, God, you’re not helping.” Avon said aloud, exasperated both mentally and sexually. “Cheerilee, I’m super confused right now! What do you want from me?”

“Avon, just hold me!” She cried out, sounding near desperate. “Hold me like I’m your special somepony! Just for the night, please.”

I can’t tell if this is better or worse than I thought. I’m not exactly fertilizing her garden but this feels wrong. I mean, my trouser snake is standing on end for Christ’s sake. Oh God, can she feel it? Shit, she probably can! Fuck, shit!

Avon took deep breaths as the mare nuzzled into him. It would have been adorable and cute, had it not been for the steady sexual tension that had been building for the better part of a half hour. Cheerilee moaned contentedly, right into his poor ear. Avon bit his tongue.

No, no, no! I’m about at my breaking point! God, how do people put up with this? Alright, I’m stating it for the record: edging is the worst fetish. This is a hill I will die on.

In the first bit of fortunate news, Cheerilee had settled herself on to Avon. As such, Avon could focus on calming down as the weight of the mare bore on top of him. He used that as an anchor, holding him to the present moment. He noticed that he didn’t necessarily feel squished. The feeling was comparable to that of a large dog resting on him, except it was a horse. A horse who was becoming more womanly by the second. Yet, he managed to avoid succumbing to temptation. Partially.

All things considered, this is nice. Mare or woman, it does feel amazing to hold someone like this. I can see why Cheerilee wanted it so bad. If the roles were reversed, I’d want to be held in someone’s arms too!

By this point, the two had calmed completely. Cheerilee was no longer crying and Avon had lowered his...excitement. Looking back, the two silently remarked about how absurd and surreal the night had been for both of them. The two laid in silence, the sounds of hearts beating and breaths breathing filling the ambiance.

“So…” Avon was the first to break the silence. “Are you comfortable?” Cheerilee laid in silence for a moment before responding.

“Your shirt is a bit of a mess now…” She muttered, face still flushed. Whether from alcohol or embarrassment, Avon couldn’t tell. What he could tell was that she was making a subtle request for him to take off his shirt.

Down, boy. We have not come this far for you to blow it.

Avon cautiously obliged, sitting up enough to remove his shirt. In fairness, from the combined wine and tear stains, the shirt was definitely ruined. Now shirtless, Avon moved his hands to hide his abdomen. He wasn’t entirely comfortable with the prospect about being half-naked, especially in a cuddle as intense as this. Yet, Cheerilee slowly placed her hooves on the human’s arms, parting them slowly. Soon, Avon’s bare chest and stomach were exposed for the mare to see.

“No fur. Heh, I guess I should’ve expected as much.” The two chuckled lightheartedly, the moment still awkward for the both of them. Cheerilee slowly lowered herself on top of him again. “I’ll keep you warm in the meantime.” The mare closed her eyes, enjoying the smooth sensation upon her fur. Her head laid beside Avon’s, barely a hair’s width between them.

“Better now?” Avon asked, hopeful that the mare would just fall asleep. Cheerilee instead opened her eyes halfway, giving Avon a sleepy gaze. She gave a sly smile.

“Caress me, if you may~?” She whispered. Avon gulped, inciting a giggle from the mare. Nevertheless, he placed one hand on her head, another on her back. He the gave the mare long, tender strokes through her mane and down her back. Cheerilee smiles wide, giving soft moans of pleasure. Avon tried his hardest to misinterpret the moans for snoring, praying he can last through the rest of the night. Fortunately, a night like this had tired both of them, granting them merciful sleep.

“Please, take it, Avon!” Cheerilee begged, holding a sack of bits in her teeth. Her eyes, heavy and desperate, pleaded to the human standing in his doorway. The morning sun had risen and the two were quick to untangle themselves upon awakening. Avon suggested that Cheerilee quickly exit before a scandal arises from her leaving his home. Not before she insisted on paying the human. “I’ve been a total bother the entire night. You had every right to kick me out. So, please.”

“Cheerilee,” Avon started, holding his head in his hand. “I can’t in good conscience take your bits. I forgive you, it wasn’t all that bad, and we’re still cool.” To emphasize his point, he dusted his hands and pushed away the bits that Cheerilee held out to him.

“At the very least, you provided a service.” Cheerilee argued. She set the bag down and took out a single bit. She tossed it at him with her teeth, forcing him to catch it. “Consider it...a penny for your thought. Or rather, your touch.” She blushed at that later sentence, bashfully digging a hoof into the ground. Avon examined the bit. A part of him figured he’d toss it back to her all the same. But, Cheerilee would probably just leave it at his doorstep and they’d spend forever giving the bit back and forth. So, he sighed and reluctantly accepted it,

“Just remember this, Ms. Cheerilee.” Avon started, flipping the coin into the air before catching it. “Whores do it for money, sluts do it for fun.” He gave the mare a wink and closed the door, watching as she turned a bright red as the door clicked shut. Avon sat with his back against the door. He took a deep breath, held it for 10 seconds, then let it all go.

That has got to be the closest someone has ever gotten to fucking a horse, without fucking a horse.