“Sometimes I forget there’s a whole world out here.” Avon said, peering out over the blimp. He had been watching as they flew over lush hills, rock mountains, and now a vast desert. The trip took the better half of a day, largely uneventful, but absolutely peaceful.
“You should probably travel more.” Spike responded, mouth full of gems. Avon scoffed.
“Yeah, that’s a privilege, Spike.” Avon shot back. “Not everyone is personal dragon-mule to legendary heroes. Some of us are just normal folk with a modest income.”
“I dunno, I’ve seen and heard many ponies go on all sorts of vacations.” Spike burped as he fished his ration of gems. “It’s not that hard around for one to travel in Equestria.”
“Then, I’m only a human.” Avon sighed, pushing off the railing. As he did so, a voice came on the intercom. How there was a functioning intercom on a airship is a question best left to a non-magical fantasy world.
“We are now arriving at Klugetown, everypony!” Said a rather nasally voice in the intercom. Avon checked the weight of his backpack, ensuring that what he carried was still being carried.
“Ugh, Klugetown.” Spike remarked.
“What’s your beef?” Avon asked, looking down at an unamused Spike. “You’ve been here before, right? During the whole Storm King drama?”
“That’s the problem.” Spike bemoaned. “Klugetown has gotta be one of the dirtiest, filthiest, crummiest place this side of Equestria! When we were here, there was nothing but crooks and conmen trying to sell me and my friends into slavery.”
“Hol’ up.” Avon raised a hand. “Y’all got slavery?”
Before Spike could answer, the ship landed with a sudden jerk. Avon nearly fell over the side of the ship, barely catching himself. As he did, he saw that the landing platform was in disrepair. It was a miracle it didn’t fall apart upon the mere mention of an oncoming wind. Avon pulled himself from the brink, dusting himself.
“Told ya so.” Spike remarked, climbing up Avon’s clothes to reach his shoulder.
“Let’s just get the job done and bounce, yeah?” Avon followed the rest of the passengers off the ship. Admittedly, there wasn’t a lot of them. In fact, most of the passengers weren’t even ponies, but creatures of varying species. They ranged from lizards to cats to dogs to griffons to even a few of those apes from the Storm King’s army. Oddly enough, the apes recognized him, making sure to give him a wide berth. Avon tried not to let the gesture get to his head, but really, how could it not?
The duo reached the platform, which looked just about as bad as the docks were. Trash littered the ground, large holes were left in the planks big enough for a yak to fall through, and there was an implacable stench that filled the air.
“Goddamn, dude!” Avon exclaim, pinching his nose. “This place looks and smells like [insert city here]!”
“You have a city named Insert?” Spike asked. Avon facepalmed.
“I was more alluding to the human’s proclivities to trash each other’s hometown-look the joke is dead, let’s move on.” Avon took a step, only to stop again. He looked around to his left and to his right, before looking to Spike. “Uh, you wouldn’t happen to know where we’re supposed to meet the guy, would you?”
Spike shrugged. “Beats me. Check the address on Rarity’s package.”
Avon slung the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it. There laid a package roughly the size of a shoebox. It was elegantly wrapped in expensive looking wrap, a detail Avon personally resented. For what purpose was there for even buying expensive wrapping paper?
As he held this internal monologue, a faint noise caught his attention. It sounded like a something was sizzling. Like, meat on a grill? No, he didn’t smell any meat.
“Yo, Spike.” Avon started, looking to Spike. From the look on Spike’s face, he could tell he heard it too. The two looked around, seeing if they could find the source before-
BOOM! BOOM!
A burst of flashing lights rose from beneath the platform, through it’s many holes. The sounds of small explosions rung through the air, scaring everyone on the platform. Creatures of all shapes and sizes ran in all directions, screaming amongst the chaos. However, while Avon was startled initially, he immediately saw the trick. It was a similar one to which he used to scare off the Storm King’s army: pyrotechnics. More specifically, firecrackers. Someone must’ve set off a whole bunch under the platform, but for what purpose?
“My purse!” A mare screeched in horror. Avon snapped over to see the mare and someone running away from her. The mare wore a sun hat and sundress, both a bright golden shade. The thief however, was harder to spot, as they disappeared into the crowd. Avon quickly kicked himself into gear, nearly throwing off Spike in the process. He guessed some part of him, deep down, still wanted to play hero.
The purse-stealer was small, but quite agile. They bobbed and weaved through the startled crowd, slipping under legs and around bags and luggage. Luckily, Avon’s alien presence made most creatures panic and get out of his way.
“He’s heading for the ticket booth!” Spike called, pointing out the thief’s proximity to the booth. This gave Avon a plan as he made a detour.
The thief checked behind him, seeing if the lanky creature had finished chasing him. He was relieved that it seemed they had given up. He had half expected someone to give chase, someone always did. But, he knew well enough that he was much too small and far too fast for anyone to catch him.
“Ha!” The thief exclaimed, turning the corner of the ticket booth. He helped himself tightly to the wall, barely peering out to see if his pursuers were somehow still behind him. His breath was ragged and his legs felt like giving out, but he had done it. He successfully pulled a lick on a pony! The thief turned around, eyes closed and dusting his stolen good. “My initiation is as good as-“
Suddenly, the thief bumped into something rather sturdy and fell on their backside. Rubbing his head, he looked up to see a peculiar sight. A hairless ape stood over him, holding a small dragon like some sort of weapon. The sight was enough to leave him speechless.
“Wait a second, Avon!” Spike called out. “He’s a diamond dog!”
“A what?” Avon asked, lowering Spike a little. Sure enough, before the two of them was a small, bipedal puppy. He had a light grey coat with a patch of dark grey around his crown. Most conspicuously, the pup had an eyepatch over one of his eyes. For accessories, the pup wore an open vest and a diamond collar. Avon turned Spike towards him. “Am I supposed to know what that is?”
“If you studied like you should have!” Spike rolled his eyes. “Diamond dogs are a bunch of, well, dogs that spend most of their time mining gems. I’ve met a few before.” Spike looked back to the small dog, giving him a glare. The diamond dog glared back. “We aren’t on exactly the best of terms.”
“I don’t know who ya ‘spose be, but I have nothin’ to say to ya’s!” The diamond dog barked. He attempted to take off right then, but Avon quickly grabbed the dog by his rather bulbous, spiked tail. It stung Avon, but not bad enough to let him go.
“Not so fast, puppy!” Avon taunted, dangling the dog as he set Spike down. The dog thrashed about, attempting to swing his stubby limbs in the hopes of something. He only succeeded in winding himself.
“I ain’t a puppy, lanky!” The dog shouted. “The name’s Runt and ya better learn it quick! I’m gonna be a Jewel Runner pretty soon and the whole town’s gonna be singin’ my name!”
“Jewel Runner?” Avon questioned. “The hell’s a Jewel Runner?”
“You’ll learn the hard way if ya don’t let me go, scrawny!” Runt tried to bite down on Avon’s hand, but Avon quickly dropped and caught Runt by the leg.
“You’re sure fired up for a youngin’.” Avon noted. “Why are you going around stealing purses. Speak up or you’re heading to the nursery with a concussion. I’m afraid my hand might slip.” To empathize his point, he briefly let Runt fall closer to the floor beneath him. Runt growled angrily.
“It’s part of initiation.” He relented. “All the pups gotta show they can pull off a robbery before they can become a Jewel Runner. I ain’t the only one doin’ this, ya know! There’s others doin’ the same!”
“Uh huh.” Avon nodded, understanding the situation clearly. “Well, looks like you’re going back to your pals empty-handed.” Avon lightly tossed Runt into the air, keeping the purse in his other hand. Runt landed on all fours, glaring up at the human that stole his shot. “Run along, kid. Find a better hobby.”
Runt stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry before kicking dust in Avon’s direction and running off in to the town. Avon watched the dog, making sure he didn’t immediately go about robbing some other poor victim. When the diamond dog was finally out of sight, Avon sighed in relief.
“So, any idea what a Jewel Runner is?” Spike asked, climbing back up to Avon’s shoulder. “I’ve never heard of a group like that from the dogs back in Ponyville.”
“I have an idea.” Avon admitted, looking back to the purse he carried. He started walking back in the direction of the victim. “Though, I hope I’m wrong.”
After a brisk jog, Avon and Spike were able to catch up to the mare in distress. She sighed in relief as she saw him carrying her purse back to her.
“Oh, thank you! Thank you!” The mare, a unicorn, levitated the purse from his grasp and placed it back over her torso. Upon closer inspection, the mare looked to come from wealth, likely from Canterlot. “I knew that this part town would be home to such lowlifes, but I didn’t expect them when I first arrived! The nerve!”
“Don’t mention it, ma’am.” Spike spoke on Avon’s behalf. The mare, finally noticing the odd couple, tilted her head. “Oh, you’re that alien from Ponyville, aren’t you?”
“You’ve heard of me?” Avon asked, kind of shock.
“Of course I have!” She replied, digging in her purse. “Who hasn’t heard of the alien that lives in Ponyville. I swear, that town in a magnet for weirdness!” She pulled a single bit out of the purse. “Here, for your troubles. Do be careful. I know I will from now on.” The mare went on her merry way, leaving the two back on the platform.
“What is someone like her doing visiting a town like Klugetown?” Spike asked, staring off after her. Meanwhile, Avon merely looked at the bit he held. With a flip of the coin, he caught it and pocketed it.
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Avon answered bluntly. “I do know we have a job to do here and we may as well get it done. Keep an eye out for any suspicious activity. Oh, and the guy we’re delivering to...” Avon put a hand under his chin. “Uh, what was the guy’s name again?”
“Capper.” Spike replied, although there was a tinge of disdain in his voice. “Some guy Rarity met when we visited Klugetown way back when. A real gentleman, that guy.”
“Uh oh, I sense tension in that voice.” Avon teased. Spike huffed, but remained silent. “No sweat. We’ll be in and out. 20-minute adventure, tops.”
With that, the duo embarked on their delivery, unaware of what was yet to come.
