Somepony Smells

by Forevergent777

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3976

An MLP parody of the Spongebob Squarepants episode "Something Smells".

Sweetie Belle attempts her hoof at cooking to earn her Cutie Mark. Needless to say, she demonstrates her skills in cooking to be as great as it was that time she tried to cook breakfast in bed for Rarity. After consuming the result of her cooking, smelly shenanigans ensue.

A parody of the Spongebob Squarepants episode "Something Smells". This is an old fic that I wrote long ago, but never got around to publishing on FiMFiction until now. Enjoy.

MLP belongs to Hasbro.
Spongebob Squarepants belongs to Nickelodeon.

Published 2020-04-25 19:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-25 19:30:01 UTC

Somepony Smells

Waking up to the sound of an obnoxiously loud alarm clock, a young white unicorn with neatly curled up mane and tail of purple and pink greeted the dawn with a wide smile. Today was going to be a great day; she could just feel it. The filly jumped off her bed, gently petted her sister's cat, Opal, and pulled out a calendar.

"Today's the day!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, much to Opal's chagrin. "It's Sunday, which means a whole day for me and my friends to go crusading for our cutie marks."

As if fate wanted to make lives worse than what Discord could do, a loud thunderclap sounded throughout Ponyville.

"What?! No!!" the unicorn shouted in despair. "It can't rain now! We were supposed to do lots of crusading today!"

Sweetie Belle flumped to the floor, wearing an expression of extreme depression.

"Now what am I supposed to do?" Sweetie Belle asked herself. Opal merely shrugged and went back to sleep. Turning her head to the kitchen, she slowly smiled. "I guess I could try for a 'making a sundae' cutie mark."

Sweetie Belle opened the freezer, scanning every inch for ice cream, only to emerge unsuccessful.

"No ice cream," lamented Sweetie Belle. "Hmm… maybe I could use something else." Looking inside the refrigerator, she found what she was looking for. "Ketchup could work." Pulling out the bottle of processed tomatoes, she opened the cap and squeezed every last content into a large mixing bowl. "Let's see… what's next? Hmm… bananas, cherries… boring! Aha! Onions!" Sweetie Belle then proceeded to dump the entire bag of onions into the bowl of ketchup.

"Now I need some peanuts." Sweetie Belle proceeded to open the pantry to find peanuts, but like many of the other ingredients she had intended to find, the peanuts were nonexistent in the pantry. "Oh no! All the peanuts are gone!"

Opal burped as quietly (and gracefully) as she could.

"Oh yeah! We're growing peanuts!" exclaimed Sweetie Belle. "Good thing Rarity thought about growing them so we don't have to constantly buy them." The unicorn picked up the pot, pulled the plant out of her mouth, and tossed it into the bowl. Now she was ready to mix it up.

"This sundae is going to be great!" Sweetie Belle shouted triumphantly. "You wanna help me, Opal?" She turned to see that Opal was nowhere in sight. "Opal? Oh well, more for me and my friends!" With that, she began devouring her creation, making sure to leave some for her fellow crusaders.

Exiting the kitchen, Sweetie Belle let out a great burp. However, that wasn't what was out of the ordinary; if one looked hard enough, a nasty shade of green mist could be detected by the naked eye. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, was satisfied with her large breakfast to notice anything.

"That was some sundae," said Sweetie Belle; as she said her words, a vomit green mist escaped from her mouth. The said mist found itself to Opal, formed into a fist, and punched Opal straight in the visage; however, that is merely an exaggeration to Opal's incredible displeasure of having to smell such a nasty stench.

Sweetie Belle didn't seem to notice Opal's meowing of unending discomfort, as she looked out the window to see that the storm was over and the clouds were clearing up.

"The storm is gone!" the filly exclaimed excitedly. "That means I can go crusading with my friends! Bye, Opal!"

As the young unicorn left, an older white unicorn with a perfectly curled up purple mane and tail and three diamonds on the flank trotted in sight.

"What's all the commotion down he – ?" said Rarity, abruptly stopping her inquiry when she noticed the state of the kitchen. There were splatters of ketchup on the counter, sliced onions on the floor, and specks of dirt all over the pantry door and refrigerator.

Rarity began to puff her cheeks, flush a dark, dangerous shade of red that would make Big Macintosh look invisible, and let out two simple, yet apocalyptic words.

"SWEETIE BELLE!!!!!!"

********

Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle trotted to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse, courtesy of her farm friend, Applebloom. The filly entered the clubhouse to find nopony inside.

"Hmm… I must be early. I guess I can look over the stuff me and my friends can do to get our cutie marks." Sweetie Belle pulled out a notebook and opened up to a page to read its content. "Go to school. Go to school. Go to school. Go to school. Go to school. Go to school. Wait a minute! This isn't the right list!" 'Why would I even write 'Go to school' so many times? I'm not Pinkie Pie.' "Ah! Here we go! 'Cutie Mark Crusaders Greeters'… what kind of talent is a greeter?"

Right on cue, the door opened, revealing a yellow filly with red mane and tail, wearing a large pink bow.

"It means we're supposed ta say hi to everypony," Applebloom explained. "Oh, and Scootaloo is gonna be late because she's at the hospital."

"I told you two that mud wrestling while it's raining at night was a bad idea," scolded Sweetie Belle, recalling that the one time she decided not to crusade for cutie marks with her fellow crusaders. Even though Sweetie Belle is no stranger to getting down and dirty for fun, she, even as a filly, knew better than to wrestle in the mud in the cold rain made even colder by the nightly temperature. "Let's go meet her at the hospital. We can try being greeters on our way."

"Yeah!"

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS GREETERS!!" shouted the fillies.

********

Walking into town, Sweetie Belle wasted no time in trying out for her potential talent.

"Hi, Cherry Berry!" Sweetie Belle happily greeted; unbeknownst to her, a mist of sick green hue escaped from her mouth and made its way to the face of the unfortunate equine.

"ACK! I CAN'T GET THE SMELL OUT MY NOSE!!" the pink mare screamed before galloping in the other direction like her life depended on it.

Slightly oblivious to the mare's distress, Sweetie Belle turned her attention to a gray pegasus with blond mane and tail and notable crossed eyes.

"Hi, Derpy!" greeted the young unicorn. Once again, the sick mist that is the filly's breath had reached the nose of the derp-eyed mailpony, which caused her eyes to slowly realign to normal with some sickening crunches for sound effects.

Now slightly worried, Sweetie Belle made one last attempt. She turned to see her teacher guiding some other colts and fillies her age; it was a weekend, but some of her fellow students appreciated their teacher to the point that they'd spend half of their weekend to be with their beloved teacher.

"Hi, Ms. Cheerilee!"

"Hi, Sweetie Be –" Before Cheerilee could even finish her reply, she too became a victim of the unicorn's rancid breath. "MOTHER OF CELESTIA!" With that, she ran off as fast as she had when she was under the influence of Love Poison. However, she had forgotten to take her students with her, leaving them in the middle of the road; at that precise moment, a shadow loomed over the young ponies, meaning that a careless pony carrying a cart or carriage is going to run them over.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle shut their eyes, not wanting to see the deadly accident inadvertently caused by the latter that was about to take place. However, instead of a crash, some screaming, and mass panic, there was a loud music playing. Opening their eyes, the two crusaders witnessed a large group of ponies playing instruments while marching; it was the Ponyville Parade practicing.

"Wow! A parade!" Sighing in relief, Sweetie Belle expressed her current emotion in one large greeting. "Hi, parade! Hi, tuba player! Hi, drummer! Hi, stallion with the cymbals! Hi, trumpeter! Hi, tambourine mare! Hi, timbale stallion! Hi, didgeridoo player!" 'Somewhere in the hospital, I know Scootaloo is calling me a dictionary.' "Hi, triangle player! Hi, stallion with the kettle drum! Hi, pianist! Hi, mare with the flute! And HELLOOOO, DOLLY!!"

Her breath was barely visible when she spoke a few sentences. Now, as Sweetie Belle excitedly exclaimed a long greeting, her breath seemed to have built up into an intangible ball the size of Iron Will. In an odd comedic effect, the ball of bad breath rolled into the parade and knocked every pony away like bowling pins. What followed next was that the ponies running in every direction after recovering, similar to when Ponyville was under attack by Parasprites, Zecora, and rampaging bunnies.

"Was it something I said?" asked a somewhat saddened Sweetie Belle. "Something weird is going on today. Everypony is running away from me."

"Hi, Sweetie Belle!" called an orange pegasus with a messy purple mane and tail.

"Oh, hi, Scootaloo," said Sweetie Belle. "I'm confused."

"So am I," said Scootaloo before sniffling; it was apparent that she has yet to overcome her cold. "I thought you'd be pumped that the rain stopped early and we can go crusading for our cutie marks."

"Everypony is running away from me. I wonder… " Sweetie Belle walked up to the Sugarcube Corner and said, "Hi, Sugarcube Corner!" Weird shenanigans were no strangers to Ponyville, let alone Equestria; however, as her breath reached the side of the gingerbread-house-decorated building, it slowly slid out of sight, away from Sweetie Belle. "Make that everything. I just don't get it."

The breath had made its way to Applebloom and Scootaloo; nevertheless, the sickly mist had passed by the two fillies, as their runny noses were clogged up by their sickness.

"We don't either," said the two sick fillies.

"Hmm… do ya think that maybe… everypony thinks yur ugly?"

"What?!" the unicorn filly exclaimed. "But I can't be ugly! Rarity would've noticed and fixed me!"

"Then we better try a reflection test," said Scootaloo, pulling a mirror from inside a tree trunk (courtesy of a certain crazy pink mare).

Scootaloo faced the mirror in front of Sweetie Belle, who greeted her reflection like she did to everypony else.

"Hi, me!" However, as her nearly visible stench reached the mirror, her reflection's face contorted into a look of extreme disgust, did an about face, and bucked the mirror on to shatter it.

"Ugly…" said Applebloom and Scootaloo in unison.

"NO!! I can't be ugly!" shouted the young white filly. She ran up to a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark. "Am I ugly?!" The brown stallion took a sniff at that moment and was unfortunate enough to take in the horrendous air that was Sweetie Belle's breath. As for his reaction, he pulled out a small gray stick that opened a white hole in the middle of the air and jumped into it as it closed.

Rather than trying to wrap her head around the strange phenomenon that transpired, she turned her attention to a stallion pulling a taxi wagon.

"Am I ugly?!" she cried after jumping on his back.

As for the taxi puller, he could only scream "MY EYES! MY EYES!" as he galloped uncontrollably in circles until he came to a halt. After safely coming to a halt without crashing into something or somepony, he randomly exploded…twice…

Sweetie Belle could only lay on the ground, distraught.

"I'M UGLY!!" she cried, tears forming in her eyes.

********

At night, Applebloom and Scootaloo trotted over to their clubhouse, hoping to meet their unicorn friend. What they didn't anticipate, however, was that their clubhouse was emitting a horrible sound that made nails on chalkboard sound like a heavenly choir blessed by Celestia herself.

Closing their ears while trying to get inside the clubhouse, the two fillies found the source of the sound worse than a dying animal.

It was Sweetie Belle playing a violin.

Walking closer, the two fillies saw that Sweetie Belle was wearing a Groucho Marx mask and a vampire cape. With tears streaming down her cheeks and red eyes puffing, she played in a similar manner of a passionate violin player, except the sounds being made were absolutely dreadful.

"Sweetie Belle!" shouted the yellow filly. "Would you cut that out?! You sound even worse than Scootaloo's singing voice!"

"Hey!" shouted the recipient of the insult.

"Go away…" said Sweetie Belle softly. "Run away like everypony else…nopony wants a friend as ugly as I am…"

"Sure they would," said Scootaloo. "It makes them feel better about themselves."

"Scootaloo!" shouted Applebloom, punching Scootaloo in the side.

"Maybe a story can cheer her up," suggested Scootaloo. "It's called 'The Ugly Mare.' Once upon a time, there was an ugly mare. She was so ugly that everypony left the town. She was able to enjoy her peace, quiet, and loneliness. The end!"

Applebloom could only give her a deadpan expression before punching her harder than before, sending her flying at a wall. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, couldn't hold it in any longer and sobbed.

"That didn't help at all! How long? How long have I been ugly, girls?!"

"That doesn't matter!" said Applebloom. "It doesn't matter how you look like. Remember Zecora? I still like you the way you are, Sweetie Belle."

"But I'm so ugly! I'm so ugly! I'm so ugly! I'm so ––" Sweetie Belle stopped abruptly, as she was slapped upside the head by Applebloom. "Thanks for that. Now I know what being Rarity is like. But what am I supposed to do? Everypony in town is running away from me because of my ugliness."

"Then you gotta scream it!" said Scootaloo, receiving confused looks in return. "Follow me."

********

"Now say it."

The three fillies remain perched on top of town's clock tower, the highest point in Ponyville besides the clouds. Sweetie Belle was on the edge, as Scootaloo's plan was for Sweetie Belle to shout about her ugliness to the rest of Ponyville.

"How is this supposed to help?" asked Applebloom and Sweetie Belle at the same time.

"Rainbow Dash told me that when she was made fun of at flight school, she took them in so that it wouldn't mess with her head when she showed them that she was better. So come on! Say it!"

Sweetie Belle gulped, as she looked at the town with intense fear. "I can't…"

"Sweetie Belle, this is going to keep hurting you until you get this off your chest."

The unicorn looked down on her chest to see a random Parasprite sticking on her. Swatting it away and taking a deep breath, she whispered,

"I'm ugly."

"You're ugly and what…?"

"A unicorn?"

"No. Proud."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud."

"Now say it louder."

"I'm ugly and I'm proud.

"Louder!"

"I'm ugly and I'm proud!"

"LOUDER!"

"I'M UGLY AND I'M PROUD!"

Sweetie Belle's shout became louder and louder with each repetition until her voice could be heard all over Ponyville. Meanwhile, other ponies that could hear it could only wonder what this was all about and why.

"Stupid blank flank weirdos," said Diamond Tiara, shutting her window.

Panting, but smiling, Sweetie Belle could only exclaim, "I feel great! This really did help!"

"So what do ya wanna do now?" Applebloom asked.

"I don't know," said Sweetie Belle, thinking hard.

"Ya wanna go to the market?"

"What for?"

"Ah dun know. Try to get our Cutie Marks in the market?"

********

At the town market, the three fillies walked around casually, hoping to get some ideas of finding their Cutie Marks. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, decided to express her newfound self-esteem to other ponies, despite her "ugliness."

"Hi there! I'm very ugly. But you should enjoy the rest of your day anyway."

Though Sweetie Belle said her words with a smile, the two recipients of her words did not have such an expression. The stallion and mare only needed to take a single whiff after her words before their faces and mane burned to a black singe because of a familiar cloud of yellow-brown-green mist. Puzzled but undeterred, Sweetie Belle turned to another stallion and tried yet again to express her confidence.

"Excuse me, mister. I hope my horrible ugliness won't be a distraction to you."

"Not at all, little miss," said the stallion kindly before he did a double-take after smelling a foul odor emitting from the filly's mouth. "DEUUEAUGH!!!!"

The stallion took off as far away from the spot as he could, passing Applebloom and Scootaloo.

"Hey, Sweetie Belle, have you –?" asked Applebloom, but stopped momentarily after seeing Sweetie Belle sitting on the ground with her head down. Approaching closer, the two could hear that Sweetie Belle was crying. "Sweetie Belle! What's wrong?!"

"I tried. I really tried, but I can't do this." Sniffing again, she turned to the two to reveal an extremely (with heavy emphasis on the word) distraught face. "I can't go out like this anymore! It's better for everypony if I stay at home for the rest of my life!"

Scootaloo could only give a heartbroken look upon hearing and seeing her friend's tragedy. Applebloom, on the other hoof, started scrunching up in anger before exploding with said emotion.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PONIES?! WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF THINGS BEING DIFFERENT?! FIRST ZECORA, NOW SWEETIE BELLE?!"

Applebloom dragged Sweetie Belle and held her in front of a group of ponies.

"HERE! LOOK AT HER!! SHE'S UGLY, AIN'T SHE?! LOOK AT HER!!"

The ponies could only run away, as Applebloom's action was only making Sweetie Belle inadvertently spread her breath's stench throughout the town's only market. Being unaware of the true reason, Applebloom continued to show Sweetie Belle to everypony.

"LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT HER!! LOOK AT HER!!! I WANT Y'ALL TO LOOK AT HER!!!!!"

At the end of Applebloom's onslaught of demands, the market was empty. Not a single soul other than the trio was present.

"Wow," said Scootaloo, eyes wide open at the event that had just transpired. "I've never seen you yell like that."

"You were right," said Applebloom, panting. "Screaming does help. Hey......maybe there's no line for the cherry stand."

The trio made their way to the cherry stand, only to find that it, just like the rest of the market, was empty, including the mare that ran the cherry stand.

"Hello? Is anypony there? Maybe they're on break."

"Hey!" said Sweetie Belle, obtaining a bright expression. "I just remembered! I still have some sundae with me! I made it myself!"

Sweetie Belle brought out two cups with her sundae inside them, which Applebloom and Scootaloo took and immediately gulped them down in one go. Since the two fillies were still sick, they had a weak sense of smell and taste; therefore, the two didn't mind the taste and smell of the wretched dessert. It did, however, have quite an effect on one's bladder. Thirty seconds afterwards, the two's eyes widened.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" shouted Scootaloo.

"Me too!" shouted Applebloom.

********

Applebloom and Scootaloo washed their hooves after finishing their business, but Applebloom was in need of soap; Cheerilee had once taught her that not doing so will cause bacteria to get even stronger and make any ponies sick. She turned to a mare next to her.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm out of soap. Can I borrow–?"

Applebloom never finished her request, as the mare did a double-take and covered her nose like it was the only thing keeping her alive.

"Ahh!! Stay away from me!" cried the mare.

"But ah only wanted some–"

"Here! Take some bits!"

With that, the mare ran away, leaving Applebloom with enough bits for pocket change. Something seemed awfully familiar about this. Her suspicions, however, were clear when a nearby scene with Scootaloo took place. The orange pegasus approached a group of fillies.

"Hey, you want to hear a bathroom joke?"

Like the mare, the group of fillies put their hooves over their nose to protect themselves from the horrid stench.

"You trying to kill us?!" shouted a filly, who then walked out with the other fillies.

Both Applebloom's and Scootaloo's eyes widened before the two ran up to a mirror. They stared at their own reflections with horrified expressions, turned to each other, then came to the same conclusion.

"WE CAUGHT THE UGLY!!!!"

********

"Girls! Are you okay in there?"

Applebloom and Scootaloo had been in the bathroom well over an fifteen minutes, which worried the young unicorn. Sweetie Belle took the liberty to enter the bathroom to find her friends. She noticed that two stalls were occupied and called out for her friends.

"Applebloom? Scootaloo? Are you in there?"

"Go away..." said Scootaloo.

"Scootaloo? What's going on? Why are you two still in there?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" said Applebloom with contempt in her voice.

Sweetie Belle was able to see through the cracks in between the walls and the door the stall and noticed that the both of them were wearing paper bags over their heads (wherever they got them).

"Why do you two have paper bags over your heads?"

"No reason," said Scootaloo. "Except that you gave me the UGLY!!"

"You have the ugly?"

"Yes!" Scootaloo came out from the stall and pulled the bag off of her head and showed Sweetie Belle the contents of her visage; her unchanged, normal visage.

"But...you don't look any different that you did earlier. Also, how do you catch the ugly?"

"Maybe we don't look ugly to ya because you've been ugly long enough to know tha difference!" shouted Applebloom. "And now, we somehow caught it because everpony's been runnin' away from us!"

"Then why don't you try shouting?" suggested Sweetie Belle. "Remember what you girls taught me?"

"Yeah, well that's because ya still had us to help you! Now, we're all ugly and there's nopony who can help us! What's my family gonna say about me? They won't ever look at me ever again! They'll kick me out! Ah'll have to live out in the streets and get my own job and–"

Unbeknownst to the pegasus and earth pony, the green toxic mist worthy of a biological weapon was emitting from the farmpony's mouth and clouding the area around Sweetie Belle's face, which was scrunched up in a familiar expression.

"APPLEBLOOM!!" the unicorn shouted. "You're not ugly! Your breath stinks."

"Stink?" asked Scootaloo. "But how? And why couldn't we smell it?"

"Maybe because you two are still sick and couldn't smell anything."

"That's a relief..." said Applebloom, whose breath was caught by Sweetie Belle's nose yet again.

"GAH! Horsefeathers! What did you two eat?!"

"Apple pie, apple fritters, apple juice..."

"I mean this morning."

"Apple pie, apple fritters, apple juice..."

"What else?"

"Some of your sundae."

Sweetie Belle's eyes widened and her pupils shrunk to a dot, as if she never had an epiphany like she's experiencing now.

"Sundae......Girls! My sundae must have been what gave us bad breath!"

"Well, you never were good at cooking..." muttered Scootaloo.

"So what does that mean?" asked Applebloom.

"I mean, we're not ugly! We just stink!"

"Stink?" said Scootaloo and Applebloom in unison.

"WE STINK!!" the three shouted. "WE STINK! WE STINK! WE STINK! WE STINK!"

As the three kept on cheering, their breaths had encompassed the entire bathroom, which somehow dissolved it to the ground. So happy were the three, they even went up to Diamond Tiara, who happened to be passing by.

"Guess what, Diamond?" asked Applebloom with a smile that made the pink filly retract in fear. "WE STINK!"

With her shout, her breath had made its way to Diamond Tiara, who was unfortunate enough to smell it; her reaction was that her tiara shattered to pieces. Not minding what just happened, the Cutie Mark Crusaders galloped away in happiness, all while shouting about how much they stink.