A Somewhat Realistic Displacement

by Viirtax Skannus

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Self Insert, Adventure, Equestria Girls, Princess Celestia, Sex, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 2821

A McDonald's worker gets displaced.

This is what would probably actually happen if you got displaced, follow this McDonald's worker who is probably trying to find a way home, kind of.

Published 2020-04-25 21:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-20 21:44:45 UTC

Chapter 1: Why?

Jogging to work, we see a McDonald's crew trainer is over an hour late, granted they don't care considering he's been working there for over six years, but it's more of the fact that he's losing money. The main problem is that whenever he does anything related to cardio, he tends to get migraines, the one the McDonald's worker getting right now, however, is the worst one he's ever had. It's so painful that he has to close his eyes in pain, and in doing so didn't see the blinding light that surrounded him.

As the light faded along with his migraine, the crew trainer managed to open his eyes, and what he saw before him was not the suburbs he's grown used to, it's been replaced with dense forest with a path, going in two ways. The crew trainer decided to go with his gut; he put his hand underneath the leather trench coat he was wearing, pulled out his trusty Magnum Research BFR, and pulled out his phone then opened up the compass app, the path went from east to west, going west would probably result in going further in the forest, given the fact that is darker down that way. So with that in mind, he went east, holding his BFR at a forty-five-degree angle trying to be vigilant, the keyword is trying.

After walking for forty or so minutes, the crew trainer finally saw a stone wall with a wooden gate, reminding him of Riverwood from Skyrim. As he passed the gate, he looked around to get his bearings, realizing that he's not in Skyrim, the first thing to tip him off was the anthropomorphic horses walking about, the next was like four horse ladies with wings and horns flying right for him, and boy did they look pissed off, when they landed in front of him another five horse ladies and a unicorn guy came from behind two of the ladies were also flying. Being the pinnacle of human evolution, he did the one thing he could think of, dropping his BFR to the ground he put his hands in the air,

"I surrender!" the crew trainer yelled in a panic, "Ain't no way in hell am I gonna fight these strange unicorn pegasus hybrids," he thought to himself. They looked at each other in confusion, the tall white one walked forth,

"There is no need to be afraid, we just wish to ask some questions," she said in a motherly tone, with a relieved sigh the crew trainer agreed to answer some of their questions so long as they answer some of his, they accepted, and they went off to a crystal castle that surprised the living hell out of the human. The tall white horse lady cleared her throat to get everyone's attention when they got to the map room of the castle,

"I do believe that introductions are in order, I am Princess Celestia, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Goddess of the Sun," the lady, now known as Princess Celestia, said, next was a tallish, dark blue horse lady,

"I am Princess Luna, Co-Ruler of Equestria and Goddess of the Moon,"

"I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Co-Ruler of the Crystal Empire and Goddess of Love," a tall pink horse lady introduced,

"I am Prince Shining Armor, Co-Ruler of the Crystal Empire," the unicorn dude said, huh are all the gods' women? Neat, too bad his wife is most likely going to outlive him though,

"I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, Goddess of Friendship and the Element of Magic," One by one, each of the horse people introduced themselves until the McDonald's worker was last,

"I am James Lowe, McDonald's crew trainer," he said, this got some confused looks from them, except Twilight,

"Oh right, you're a human, right? she asked,

"Huh? Oh yeah, uh Pinkie, you think you could, you know?" he said getting the party pony's attention until she realized what he meant,

"Oh yeah! He's not from the Mirror World; he's from where the audience is from, meaning I've been right the entire time, saying there are beings out there watching our adventures, laughing and crying with us!" she said in one breathe, leaving everyone shocked and looking at the human.

"And people think I talk fast, Jesus Christ girl you should stay away from coffee," then he realized that they're still looking at him. "Uh anyway, yeah, what she said is the truth. Do you think there's a way for me to go back home?" after a few minutes of waiting to let the shock go away, the Princesses huddled together and started whispering a plan, after a few minutes, they turned back to the lost human,

"Alright we shall help you, but it may be a while until we figure out how to send you home, Twilight has a theory that you might not be from this universe or dimension, we may have to get Discord involved," Celestia explained, he nodded,

"Yeah, I figured as much, but hey, a vacation is a vacation, am I right?" he chuckled as did the others, "So where am I going to be staying?"

"You shall stay here in Ponyville, with Twilight, given the fact that you came from the Everfree Forest, it'd be best to keep you close to the place you teleported in from," Celestia again explained,

"Okay, that makes sense, I think," James said,

"Also in two days we shall return so we can see how that contraption of yours works," Luna said with a smirk,

"Ah, okay then," James said as he looked at his right wrist then back to Luna, "please tell me you have spells that can fix broken bones," this confused the Goddess of the Night,

"There are, why might I ask?"

"Let's just say, if I use this thing in the wrong way, I could end up breaking my wrist...again,"

"I see, well you best use it properly then, it wouldn't look suitable for a Goddess such as myself, to be the personal healer of a commoner,"

"Well, technically I'm an alien so, but you're not wrong that I am a commoner,"

After the very long discussion, the two groups parted ways, James stayed in a guest room at the castle as he watched the sunset and the moonrise he thought to himself, "God, I fucking hate you,"

Author's Note

Sorry it took so long to get this out, I know I said I'd have it out by Monday, but the day before there was a bad storm and the power went out, so fml.

(Old Ch 1)

When you read displacement fanfics, they tend to get some cool power or a fuck load of weapons. Well, I'm going to tell you what actually happens, first of all, the way people tend to get displaced is by the Merchant from Resident Evil 4. The way it occurred to me I was just walking to work I was about halfway there and then bam! My vision went black, and I felt as though I was falling through the world or something. Secondly, you don't get incredible powers or weapons; you only get what you have on your person, so for me, all I had was my McDonald's work shirt, my black undershirt, black work pants with my McDonald's hat hung through one of the belt loops, my black hoodie underneath my leather jacket, and my black work boots, I also happened to be conceal carrying that day my trusty BFR and Remington 1911 R1 Double Stack.

So I guess you can I got lucky, considering I tend to carry twelve extra bullets and four extra magazines just in case, now then when I woke up and saw that I was in a forest I did the one thing everyone would have done, I looked at google maps on my phone, cause let's be real now, not a single one of us displacers or whatever, have absolutely no experience in survival in the wilderness. And of course, I didn't get a signal, cause why would I? So I decided to let my gut guide me, all it did was growl because I forgot to eat breakfast...again. I picked a random direction on the dirt path I was thrown upon and walked for like fifteen minutes until I decided to just shoot my gun up in the air and hope for the best. To which I did and let me tell ya, shooting a 45 ACP next to your ears without ear protection hurts like a bitch.

I sat against a tree for ten minutes until I heard what sounded like a herd of horses, is that the right word? I don't care, anyways a whole fuck load of horse people in golden armor showed up along with a pale horse lady also in golden armor, but she has a crown on.

"Uh, hi," I said a bit nervously, she looked down at me and smiled, oh I did not like that, I don't trust people who smile at strangers, I may do it, but I force a smile at strangers all day long, so it doesn't count, I think.

"Hello there, are you the one that caused the explosion?" she asked in a weird tone of voice,

"Does this bitch think I'm a fucking child? Dafuq?" "Uh well it wasn't an explosion, but sure," I answered-ish, she looked a bit confused as did some of the guards,

"Hm, alright, then, you wouldn't happen to know about the influx of magic in this area, would you?"

"Ah, that was also probably me, but it was against my will,"

"Mind explaining to me what happened?" she asked,

"Uh well I was walking to work one moment, next everything went black, and I woke up in this weird-ass forest," I explained, she put on a thoughtful expression, I've seen it a lot of time with older customers when their trying to decide what they want.

"I see, well then you shall be coming with us back to Ponyville," at that, I picked myself off the ground and followed her and the guards back to my living hell, I could tell she wasn't joking. When she said Ponyville, I knew damn well what had happened to me, and by the Gods, I am going to maim Discord for this, he has to be the one behind all this bullshit, if not him then Sheogorath, nah I doubt he'd go this far...no he totally would, is the Mad God even real? I don't know, anyway, we've been walking in silence for about twenty minutes now, and I'm starting to get nervous.

The weird thing about this woman is that it seems as though there is this aura surrounding her like it's her power or something, I'm not too sure. "Mind if I ask what was that explosion then?" her sudden question snapped me back to reality,

"Huh, oh that was just my gun," as I finished my sentence I realized that she probably has no fucking clue as to what I just said, I looked at her, and yep she looks confused. "Uh, a gun is uh well, how do I explain it?"

"How about you show me?" she asked,

"Yea, that sounds like a good idea, but for some reason, I feel like someone would also like to see it," I knew damn well Twilight, as well as Luna, would want to see my guns.

"Ah, you would be right about that," yep knew it, and there is the town, village? I don't know, as we approached the entrance I noticed that there's a stone wall going around with a wooden gate in the middle separating the village from the forest. It kinda reminded me of Riverwood from Skyrim; I think I might like it here actually, it's calm, peaceful, the birds are a chirpin', the air isn't polluted, I can actually breathe for once. Anyway, we walked past the gates to see the other Royal Sister, Luna, as well as the Mane Six, they looked our way, and only Twilight was the only one to recognize that I'm a human...I think.

"So is he the one that caused the influx in magic, Princess?" Twilight asked,

"From what he told me, it was against his will," she answered for me,

"Well, what about that explosion?" Rainbow asked lounging in the air,

"He claims it was something called a gun," Twilight immediately looked alarmed, guess she knows what a gun is, that could either be really good or really bad for me.

"Has he attempted to harm any of you?" she asked, does she really think I'm that much of an idiot to try and harm a fucking goddess? I doubt my BFR would do anything to her,

"No, he hasn't, why might I ask?"

"Well over in the human world, Sunset Shimmer told me only bad people tend to carry guns,"

"Bull shit," I said suddenly, I didn't even realize I said that until everyone was looking at me with surprise,

"First of all, language, second of all, what do you mean?" Twilight asked/scolded,

"First of all, no, second of all, cops carry guns, citizens with permits carry guns, and I carry two guns," I explained, "the only bad people that carry guns are the ones that get them from the Black Market, which is where all the criminals tend to get their guns."

"But, Sunset said-"

"I don't care what she said; I'm telling you how it is," I cut her off,

"Well, have you ever taken a life?"

"Not yet, haven't had to, I just pull out my large ass hand cannon, and they tend to fuck off,"

"Hand cannon?" Princess Luna asked, speaking up for the first time,

"Well," I start as I pull out the seventeen-point-five-inch, five-point-three-pound beast of a gun, "it's the best way to describe this heap of steel and Americanism," I said with pride. Of course Twilight is freaking out for no reason, so I start to unload it and gave her one of the bullets, "That right there is an Extreme Penetrator bullet, with three hundred and five grains, and three thousand seven hundred and forty foot-pounds of force, this can kill an elephant in one shot in the right place," they all looked mortified that I basically just said I'm carrying a miniature ballista under my jacket in a shoulder holster, "there is a huge drawback though." That got their attention once more as I took the bullet back, "It hurts like a mother fucker to shoot like I broke my hand once at the range all because I didn't ground myself properly, and I didn't grip it the right way. My wrist still hurts to this day,"

"So why do you carry it if you don't want to shoot it?" Princess Celestia asked me,

"Well, I have a backup, you know just in case they aren't afraid of death," I reloaded the BFR and pulled out the 1911, "The other gun was a Magnum Research Big Frame Revolver, or BFR, this is a Remington 1911 R1 Double Stack." I took out the mag and pulled the slide back, making the bullet in the chamber pop out, luckily I caught before it hit the ground, and hand Twilight the round again, "this here is a Speer Gold Dot LE Duty a two hundred and thirty-grain bullet, with four hundred and five foot-pounds of force, it's a good bullet I tend to shoot this at the range the most,"

"But, why do you need these things that can take a life in one hit?" Celestia asked,

"It's not a need, but a want, also I nearly been mugged before and got tired of it, also I think they're neat," I said truthfully. I took the bullet back and reloaded the magazine and the 1911 and went with the Royal Sister to their castle in Canterlot, which is where I'm going to be spending this week and the next as they try to get the populace used to me, oh joy.

Author's Note

Okay, first of all, yes I know I'm not good at keep stories going for long, but I had this one in my head for a while and had to get it out, I'm currently working on the second chapter so you guys might see it soon, also I need an editor.
Anyways, feedback is always welcome as with criticism.

Rewrite

So I've rereading the first chapter, and I gotta say, it's shit. So I'm going to rewrite it and the second chapter I am sorry for the lack of uploading, but I'm an essential worker and they have me working 30 hours a week and they changed my schedule (obviously) it's the fucking worst. A new chapter should be up Saturday.