Chicken Coop

by TheLightning

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Profanity, Random, Discord, Violence, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Young Six
Length: 1862

Gallus is acting really weird, and nobody knows why.

Sandbar wakes up to find that Gallus is acting very strange, and it just escalates from there.

----------
Warning!
Contains: Immature and dark humor, Swearing, Blood, Teenage Angst, Reference to 'The Faculty Hotness Ranking' by CategoricalGrant, A book club.

Published 2020-05-01 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-01 21:30:02 UTC

COCKADOODLEDOO

The sun peeked it's head over the School of Friendship, causing the building to shine beautifully.

A ray of sunlight shined through the window of Sandbar's shared dorm room, slightly hitting the young stallion's face, causing him to shuffle a little before he slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times and yawned before letting go of his Yona plushie, sitting up in his bed and then stretching a little.

"I think today's gonna be a grea-"

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!"

The sudden noise made Sandbar jump ten feet in the air before hitting the floor with a comical 'SPLAT!'

He lifted his head up and rubbed his nose in pain before slowly getting up.

"What the hell?" He looked around his dorm room, wondering where that noise came from. The other young stallions were still in their beds, sleeping like nothing had happened, and their 'The Official School Of Friendship Faculty Hotness Ranking' Board was still on the wall untouched.
And Gallus was st-

'Wait, where's Gallus? He always sleeps in.' Sandbar thought as he stopped nursing his nose

He then noticed the balcony door was oddly open. With a look of confusion on his face, he walked out to the balcony and turned-

He immediately froze upon seeing Gallus.

Gallus was perched up on the balcony railing like a rooster, standing straight up with his arms in a 'chicken' position.

Sandbar stood there in bewilderment for a few seconds, before shaking his head to make sure if what he was seeing was real or not, and decided to speak up.

"Uhh... Gallus? What are you doing, dude?" He scratched the back of his head.

Gallus turned his head to look at Sandbar, before tilting it the side.

"Bawk?" Is what came out of his mouth.

"...The fuck?" Sandbar narrowed his eyes a little, wondering if he was having a dream or if this was really happening.

Suddenly, Gallus fell off the railing.
Sandbar started to run up to it before he realized something.

'Wait, what am I doing? He knows how to fly-'

A loud 'thud', along with a couple of 'snaps' was heard from below.

...

Sandbar slowly walked over, and peered down.

...

'Nevermind.'

Twilight rubbed her temples, before putting her hooves back on her desk and looked at Sandbar and Gallus.
Sandbar shifted uncomfortably in his chair, while Gallus was in a wheelchair with multiple casts on, staring blankly into space.

"You mind telling me how a teenage griffin managed to fall off a balcony, and somehow forget to use his wings?" Twilight asked, one of her eyebrows raised in suspicion.

Twilight didn't believe the story Sandbar told her, thinking it was just made-up junk because they didn't want to tell her the truth.

"But I'm telling you that's what happened! Hell, I wouldn't believe it either, but I saw it with my own eyes!" Sandbar exclaimed before Twilight raised her hoof.

"Young man, watch your language." She said while giving him a stern look.

Sandbar groaned.

"I'm being accused of something I didn't even do! I have the right to be pissed off!" He hit the side of his chair in frustration, causing Twilight to sigh, placing a hoof on her face.

"Sandbar, that story you made up doesn't even make any sen-"

"BA-CAWK!" Gallus screeched suddenly, scaring both of the ponies, causing Twilight to look over at him with a mix of disbelief and confusion.

"Wha-" She was interrupted again by Gallus suddenly tearing himself out of his casts like he didn't have any broken bones at all.

"Bawk-bawk-bwak." He then tapped the floor with his beak looking for any food down there. Seeing there wasn't any, he slammed through the doors of Twilight's office into the hallway, and sprinted off.
Her and Sandbar stayed there for a few seconds in shock before glancing at each other.

...

"Should we stop him before he does something or..." Sandbar trailed off.

"Oh my gosh! Ocellus has a crush on somebody!?" Silverstream said while squishing her cheeks together.

Her and the other girls of the Young Six were hanging out in the entrance hallway.

"Y-yeah.. He's really cute, but I-I don't really know to, umm..." Ocellus fidgeted a little, while looking down, tapping her hooves against each other.

"It Yak tradition to smash horns against horns of Yak we like!" Yona stomped while pointing at her horns, causing the rest to step back a little.

"Pfft! Who needs love? I know I don't!" Smoulder proudly exclaimed while pointing at herself, which caused Ocellus to groan.

"Smoulder, I know you sleep with a plush of Spike, I can feel the love coming off of it when you're snuggling it in bed." She blankly stated, making the dragon's face turn red.

"W-well I-It's- UUGH!!" Smoulder groaned before crossing her arms and looking away from the others.

"Smoulder no need to feel embarrassed! Yona and Sandbar have plushies of each other, it not weird!" Yona happily exclaimed.

"Yeah, that makes me feel so much better" Smoulder replied sarcastically while rolling her eyes.

"Silverstream, do you have a crush? Do you know how I could tell mine?" Ocellus asked, turning her head to look at the hippogriff.

Silverstream blushed shyly, looking to the side.

"W-well, I might have a teeny-weency-enceey crush on Gallus." She giggled to herself.

Right as if on cue, Gallus walked by them while pecking at the ground.
Smoulder snorted at the sight.

"What the hell are you doing, Gallus?" She asked trying to keep her laughter in.

Gallus cocked his head at her.
"Bawk?"

Smoulder stopped giggling and just looked at him in confusion, along with the rest of the group.

"...What?" She had no idea how to respond to that. He then pecked at the ground around her, which didn't really help the current situation.

"Uhh... Dude? Personal spa- OW!" She held her foot in pain, blood coming out of it. Gallus had somehow managed to puncture her foot with his beak.

"WHAT THE FUCK, GALLUS!?" She yelled, huffing smoke out of her nostrils. Gallus ran off, being spooked by her yelling.

"GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU OVERGROWN TURKEY!" Smoulder ran after him, leaving a tiny trail of blood behind her.

The rest stood there in silence, wondering what in Equestria just happened.

"Girls!"
They turned towards the source of the voice to see Sandbar and Twilight running towards them.

"Did Gallus come by here at all?" Sandbar asked after he caught his breath.

Gallus and Smoulder had ran outside the school, all the while Smoulder was yelling at him.

"I'M GONNA ROAST YOU ALIVE, GALLUS!" Smoulder screamed as she flew behind him, trying to slash at his legs, with Gallus somehow avoiding her attempts to do so.

"BA-GAWK!"

"AND STOP MAKING THOSE FUCKING CHICKEN SOUNDS!" She yelled, trying to slash at him again.

Twilight and the rest of the Young Six ran out and watched as the scene played.

"How in Equestria are we gonna make them stop!?" Ocellus asked while slowly starting to panic, which made Sandbar sigh.

"I'll give it a try" He said before running towards them.

"Smoulder, please stop!" Sandbar yelled as he ran up beside Smoulder.

"WHY SHOULD I!? HE FUCKING STABBED MY FOOT WITH HIS FUCKING BEAK!!" She then smacked Sandbar out of anger, causing him to tumble about before slamming into a tree with an audible 'THWACK!'

"Why me...?" He croaked out before slowly sliding down the trunk.

Seeing Sandbar get hurt, Yona felt something inside of her snap.

"RRRAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!" Yona roared as she bolted towards Smoulder and Gallus.

"NOBODY HURT YONA'S SPECIAL SOMEPONY!!!" She rammed into them both, causing all three of them to tumble on to the ground.
Yona got back up and almost pierced Smoulder in the shoulder until a magenta force covered all of them.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Twilight yelled at the top of her voice, causing everyone to turn their head towards her.

"CAN ALL OF YOU JUST ACT LIKE FUCKING ADULTS!?" She snapped at them with anger in her eyes.
Yona and Smoulder nodded in fear, while Gallus just went cross-eyed.
Twilight calmed herself down before pulling them towards her, and released them from her grasp.

"Gallus, what in Equestria has gotten into you? Why are you acting like a chicken?" She asked him with genuine concern in her voice.

...

"I'm not... What the hell are you all doing?" Came a voice from behind them. The group twisted around and looked at... Gallus holding a half eaten hay sandwich while looking back at them with confusion.

"Uhh... Did I miss something?" He asked, while Smoulder looked between the two Gallus' several times.

"But- You're- I- WHAT!?" She held her head, completely baffled, before the Gallus that they were trying to catch started laughing hysterically.

"BAHAHAHAHA! O-Oh my dear sweet Celestia! You should all see the looks on your faces! PRICELESS!" The fake Gallus rolled on the ground, holding his stomach.
He then stopped to wipe a tear away before snapping his fingers, showing his true form as Discord.
Everyone stared at him in silence before Twilight slammed her hoof on the ground in anger.

"Discord!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?" She yelled at him.

"What? Am I not allowed to do a prank against my friends?" Discord asked while giving her puppy eyes.
He then snapped his fingers again, which healed Smoulder's foot, and teleported a completely fine Sandbar in the middle of the group.

"OH GOD IS THIS PONY HEAVEN!?" Sandbar screamed while looking around him in fear.

Well, mostly fine, anyway.

"WHY DISCORD HURT YONA'S SPECIAL SOMEPONY!?" Yona yelled at Discord, before trying to comfort Sandbar by hugging him.

"Oh, fi! He was just casualty in my prank!" Discord crossed his arms with an added 'Harumph!'

"Well, a prank like that deserves an equal punishment." Twilight cast a sly grin to Discord while her horn glowed.

"Oh please, what are you gonna-" Before Discord could finish, she teleported him away.

"Gallus, where were you!?" Sandbar asked after he calmed down.

"I... went into town to give a letter to Gabby, then I decided to get some breakfast...?" Gallus motioned to his half eaten sandwich.
"What the hell happened when I was gone?" He asked before biting into it.

"That's a long story, dude" Sandbar started.

Discord shook his head, being disoriented from Twilight's spell.

"Where am I- Oh no." His eyes widened in fear.

What he looked at was Princess Celestia, Luna, and a few of their mare friends sitting on a few couches, each of them holding the same romance novel.

Noticing it was him, Princess Celestia's face beamed at him with excitement.

"I didn't know you wanted to join my book club, Discord. Come, have a seat" She patted the seat next to her expectantly.
Discord was about to snap his fingers to get out of there, but then noticed that Twilight casted a magic seal on him.
Realising his impending doom,Discord fell to his knees in defeat.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He screamed to the heavens.

...

"Oh come on, Discord, it's not that bad." Princess Luna rolled her eyes at him.