Bronies in Equestria

by Derp Mason

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 1630

When a Brony is teleported to Equestria he has a lot of questions, and some very strange fantasies.

Peter and Mason have always been the best of friends, then one day they open a portal to Equestria, what will happen then? Will they ever find a way home? Will they want to go home? Is a Future Twilight plushie worth 200 dollars? Find out in the thrilling adventure of the bronies and the search for the secret of friendship. Not that Peter and Mason dont know what friendship is of course.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-05 07:45:51 UTC

Every Brony's Dream

[size=10][/size] Every day goes by the same, sitting in my room, watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

But what happened to me next was, well, "exciting" to say the least.

"Come over man, I KNOW we are getting our cutie marks this time." said Peter. "I told you HUMANS CANT GET CUTIE MARKS! They get Man Marks" said the older fellow named Mason.

"Okay fine, but you have to come over this time, I'm not driving one god damn hour to try and get our cutie marks."

"Douche" Mason whispered.

When Mason arrived he kicked in his childhood friend's door, because fuck knocking. He walked over behind his friend, silently watching him play Slender. He grabbed his friend's shoulders and slammed his head on the desk. "We've always been the best of friends" Mason thought before receiving a swift kick to his groin. He was hunched over the new Future Twilight that they had both chipped in cash to purchase. Peter slowly approached him "Ive got it!" his counterpart rolled over and groaned "What now? Why dont we get our Man Marks in street fighting..." Peter stared at him, pondering the idea. "No no no, we make a portal to Equestria!" Mason grinned This will be fun "Here we go" Mason looked over his shoulder and tried to stifle a laugh as his friend looked through his history. "Rainbow dash celestia tongue fucking, luna molestia horn action, rainbow dash lesbian, is scootaloo legal, CMC threesome, How to make a portal to molestia land, how to make a portal to Equestria." "Thats the one!" Peter exclaimed.

"All we need is to hold hands and sing the magic Celestial Song "Celestia, Celestia, We want in, please dont be trollestia, let us in to Equestria, YEAH!" Mason burst out laughing, on the other hand Peter was distracted by the growing portal beneath them. "WHAT THE FUUUU!?" Peter yelled.

Peter awoke first, as he rubbed his eyes he made out something that looked like a pony. "Princess Cadance?" "No," "She loves and tolerates my brother, with her vagina."

Peter stared at her, eventually he worked up the courage to say "Twilight Sparkle?" The purple pony looked confused, not only did he teleport here, he was a strange creature that smelled like a hard day of work on the Apple Family's farm, but he had said her name. She knew something was off. Mason slowly opened his eyes and looked around, he rolled over to face peter. They looked into eachothers eyes, what they saw fear, excitement, and that look you get on your face when trying to contain your orgasm.

Twilight brought two cups of tea to the pair of odd looking creatures, she sensed a strong bond known as brobond, she had read about it a lot in Shining Armor's Guide to Being a Douche VOL 1. She noticed that the two had started to look through her book collection, she smiled, nopony ever took that much interest into her books. One of them called to the other in the language she spoke, which puzzled her, who are these creatures? Why are they so interested in the book of Great Lesbian Pony Figures? "HEY DONT TOUCH THAT BOOK, RAINBOW DASH HAS IT RESERVED!" The pair of what Princess Celestia were indeed these odd "Human" creatures.

They burst into a fit of laughter rolling on the floor. "Was it something I said?" This made the Humans laugh even harder. The taller one called "Mason" was the first to speak. "I told you Rainbow Dash was a total lesbian" Peter punched him in the gut "SHE IS JUST CURIOUS ALRIGHT!?" Twilight quickly intervened with her magic, dragging the pair apart. "Oh uh, sorry Twilight..." "What are you humans doing here in Equestria? Tell me all about your world!" She squee'd. Mason pulled Peter off the ground and said "Only if you take us to see all of Ponyville." The two grinned at eachother, they knew what this meant. "We're going to meet the Mane 6" Mason almost screamed.

"Alright ill take you to see my friends! Say, how did you know my name, do you know my friends too?" "Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie pie." they said in unison, "Wait, where is spike?" Just then Rarity and Spike walked into the library, "Oh my Twilight you have some uh, interesting taste in life partners." Mason and Peter started at Rarity, wondering why she thought they were banging Twilight. Peter then thought about all the nasty things he'd do to her, before Mason punched him in the arm to bring him back to reality. "Oh uh we're not exactly "together". "Oh thats too bad, Twilight I say yyou must get yourself a Stallion as strong as this fine, creature, of sorts. Peter fainted.

When Peter awoke he looked around, this seemed much more royal than Twilight's library.The door suddenly openened, revealing a white Alicorn. "Oh Princess Molestia, please dont punish me whatever you do!" The Alicorn gave him a strange look before speaking "Please, my name is Princess Celestia, and why on earth would I punish you? Peter gave her a blank stare, "No reason, I just thought I must be being punished to be in such royal a place as this" "Oh thank you Human, the.." The Alicorn looked at the writing on her foreleg " The helements of armory?" Celestia questioned her on writing, "Informed me of your arrival, I was hoping to meet a human in my lifetime" "Well," he said "we do uh, things like you ponies do" "Like what?" Celestia questioned. "Do you know what a clopper is?" She looked startled, "How did you find out about Luna's secret!? YOU MUSNT TELL ANYONE, OR ILL KILL YOU MY SELF"

Peter stared blankly at the wall infront of him, after hours of waiting Mason arrived. "Do you know they have everything like they do in the show here? Why do you look so happy?" "I got to meet the one and only, Princess Celestia!" "She's like the worst character in the show, she doesnt do shit" Peter nodded silently.

Mason walked out the door and smelled the air, the fresh scent of the city in the air, to be honest it smelled like horse shit. Mason walked to the nearest restauraunt, he checked his wallet and his cash had turned all into bits. Apparently, he was pretty damn rich, he walked in and sat down. Then he noticed something coming at him at full speed towards the window, all he saw was a cyan colored pegasus and a rainbow colored mane crashing into his stomach at mach 5 speeds.

Lets try this again

Bronies in Equestria

Chapter 2: Let’s try this again

NOTE: To me that first chapter was pretty bad so I’m going to try to improve this story as we go along.

(Also this is just to teaser to see how people would respond to me continuing the story after leaving it for about a year and if they would enjoy it)

Peter awoke to the sound of pots and pans banging around from... above him? His muscles tensed and his wrists pushed against leather straps that bound him to the table. He recognized this scene from a favorite gore-fic of his.

His eyes shot open in realization.

“Cupcakes” he croaked as his throat went dry.

The pink party mare bounced down the stairs into his cozy basement jail.

"Hi there, you know you are just an exotic meat that I would never get another chance to have! So I took the liberty a bringing you here.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. I feel… WHY DO I HAVE A BONER?

“How many have you killed in Ponyville?”

“Oh none silly you’re my first taste of what’s to come!”

Okay let’s see she hasn’t killed Rainbow Dash, we can recover the situation. I need a game plan let’s see… Scream and cry until Mason rescues me? Maybe. Try to break free using my inner human strength? We’ll see.

***

“Jesus Christ Rainbow what was that for!?” Mason yelled while holding his stomach in agony.

“Who’s Jesus Christ, and I’ll have you know that I was going to use you to get into the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow ended her sentence by looking at the poster indicating tomorrow’s show.

“What."

“Jesus Christ Rainbow what was that for!?” Mason yelled while holding his stomach in agony.

“Who’s Jesus Christ, and I’ll have you know that I was going to use you to get into the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow ended her sentence by looking at the poster indicating tomorrow’s show.

“What.”

“All you have to do is deck that bitch Fleetfoot the fuck out.” Rainbow Dash whispered while pointing a hoof over to a white maned mare in a Wonderbolts uniform.

Mason stood up and walked over to Fleetfoot to warn her about Rainbow Dash’s plan he tripped and knocked her over the head. He recovered and tried to say “Oh fuck I’m sorry” but what came out was

“ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?”

Once again a Human in Equestria was dragged away by the Royal Guard.

***

“Pinkie please you don’t have to do this Mason is much juicier than I am!”

Pinkie pondered this for a moment before looking down at him.

“Well okay” she shrugged and began untying him.

Peter jumped up and quickly stabbed her in the gut with his erection.

“IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT” shouted Peter so loudly it could give the Royal Canterlot Voice a run for its money.

He then proceeded to beat the shit out of Pinkie when Mr. and Mrs. Cake walked in horrified.

“This... is not what it looks like”

He then left screaming being dragged away by the Royal Guard.