rain is basically piss

by Lame Joke

Rating: teen
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 1063

ponies wonder why clouds rain when a certain pegasus rest on them

Rainbow dash rests on a cloud. Problem is, the cloud starts dripping water.

edit: reached 69 views!

Published 2020-04-30 12:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-04-30 12:00:02 UTC

im drinking waste water

Rainbow Dash swooped in from the sky, leaving a trail of rainbow as she took a quick glance around the area. Ponies resting on the field of grass, some reading books, others dozing off to take an afternoon nap. Great, a peaceful place to rest after my Wonderbolt practice, Dash thought, as she landed on a cloud. She laid down on the cloud and tucked in her wings. A huge yawn escaped from her, and she settled in for a nap.

Lyra was sitting beneath the cloud that Dash took a nap on. Flipping a page on her book, she raised her eyebrow, "Woah, I didn't know a horn can do that!"

The aquamarine unicorn felt a sudden coldness on her back. She jumped up, startled by the feeling. She looked behind, expecting to see some evil pony carrying an axe or something, but nopony was there.

"Me and my overthinking mind," Lyra shook her head, and sat back down on the ground. She opened the book that had somehow been closed, and endulged herself into the sea of words and diagram in the page.

And a downpour happened.

Lyra sprung up, clutching her book and teleported herself out of the rain. She held out her book, which had been soaked in the sudden rain. She stared at the raining spot, and realised that only one cloud is raining. Like, seriously? Only one cloud rains, and its the one above me. Such luck, the unicorn thought to herself, visibly pissed off as she grumpily shook her book, trying to somehow dry her book. She looked at the raining cloud again, and saw a rainbow tail hanging out from the cloud.

"Rainbow Dash? She must be taking a nap as usual, but why is it that her cloud starts to rain? Could it be that the humidity of the cloud increases when pressure is applied? Or that the cloud has the ability to suck the water out from pegasi when they rest on them? Nah, that's too absurd. Or... did she just took a piss?"

Lyra scrunched up her eyebrows, half disgusted, half not-believing in her assumption.

"I mean, Rainbow Dash is grown up enough, right? Does she even wet her bed? Wait, do I say wetting her bed, or wetting her cloud? It's a cloud, but the common saying is wetting the bed,"

Lyra mentally slapped herself for getting distracted by nonsense. She walked up to the cloud, but not into the raining region obviously, that will be stupid. Imagine if you know there's lava in a volcano and you just stepped into it.

(Now I'm actually trailing off. Slap me pleb)

Lyra concentrated, looking at the sleeping pegasus and channeling magic from her horn. A stream of light engulfed Dash and lifted her from the raining cloud and onto the ground. The rainbow pegasus still slept soundly and snoring loudly. Lyra was about to wake Dash up, but she remembered something.

"Hmm, she pranked me last week. Now it's the perfect time to take my revenge!" Lyra thought, her lips curling upwards as if Christmas arrived early.

A tugging. Rainbow Dash felt something pulling at her mane. She rose from her slumber, taking a huge stretch and yawning loudly. She opened her eyes, and saw Lyra looking at her.

"'Sup Lyra, what'cha doin here?" Dash half yawned, half asked.

"Did you wet yourself while sleeping just now?" Lyra replied?

That wasn't the answer to Dash's question. Rainbow Dash.exe had stopped working. Her bright magenta eyes stared at Lyra's gamboge ones, confused.

"You're saying that... I pissed in my sleep?"

"Yup"

"Fat chance. I hadn't wet my bed in nearly 10 years!"

Lyra stared at Dash, detecting for any kind of nervousness to indicate that she had just said a lie. Dash is known for being worse than lying than Applejack, the element of honesty, which is impossible, thus telling whether Dash had just said a lie is a piece of cake.

"You're lying!"

"What?!" Dash replied, astonished, "How did you know? I spent the last few months perfecting my lying techniques!"

Before Lyra could answer, a bright light appeared beside the two ponies. Princess Celestia appeared, smiling at Lyra

"I'm pleased to tell you that, Lyra Heartstrings, that you have a incredible talent of telling whether somepony is lying!'

Celestia lit up her horn and casted a spell. Lyra was swallowed by magical light, and lifted off the ground. A flash of light and a gasp from the ponies around. Lyra landed on the ground with... wings.

"I name you, Lyra Heartstrings, the princess of lies!"

Lyra smiled, and turned to Dash.

Before she could say anything, somepony galloped up to her. Its Trixie.

"Lyra Heartstrings! Trixie have heard of your extraordinary talent to detect lies, Trixie would like to invite you to assist me in Trixie's next magic show! Trixie will be attempting to hide her lies from you," Trixie said, "Would you help Trixie?"

"Shoo, go away!" Lyra replied impatiently, pushing the brilliant azure unicorn aside so she could face Dash. Then, Cheese Sandwich appeared out of nowhere.

"Heya Lyra! Would you like to come to my party?"

"Go away, I wanna tell Dash something!" Lyra shoved the party pony aside again.

"Eh, I could always ask Pinkie Pie," Cheese thought out loud to himself, and walked away, slinging boneless over his back.

Lyra looked at Cheese until he could not be seen, and back at Dash.

"Dash," Lyra started.

Then smoke surrounded Lyra. The new alicorn coughed uncomfortably at the unhealthy gas. When it cleared, Spitfire is standing before Lyra.

"Well princess, since you have wings, why not come apply for the Wonderbolts?"

"Go away!" Lyra shouted, pushing aside yet another pony, "What's wrong with ponies nowadays?"

Lyra faced Rainbow Dash. Finally, nopony else tried to interrupt the two of them. With a smile, Lyra produced a mirror out of thin air, and handed it to Dash.

"Take a look at your face," Lyra prompted Dash as she took it.

Rainbow Dash took a look into the mirror, and yelped.

"I'm pissed at you pissing on me just now, so I pissed on you," Lyra said.

Author's Note

This story is the worst of mine. I put the least effort into this one. I expect this to have only 10 views.