Princess Dinky's Letters: Struggling

Dinky felt sick. Twilight was the most horrible mare that she had ever met. She was the Princess of Friendship, but she had violated all of the laws of friendship. She had been dishonest, cruel, greedy, disloyal and downright mean. She did not deserve the spark, the element of magic. She did not deserve to be the one who controlled the Elements of Harmony. Yet, in another way, she did. The Shadow Pony was Twilight's demon counterpart. Or was it? No. It was. It had to be.

Dinky read and reread the letter that her students had written to her. They were right, in a way; it would be good for her soul to tell somepony, and, due to the Carrying Curse, they would not tell anypony. She had her own secrets that it would be an embarrassment to tell the whole of Equestria about. She could sort of understand why Twilight hated the idea of everypony finding out that she was the Shadow Pony. She would be branded Equestria's biggest hypocrite and ponies would march on Canterlot Castle, yelling for her to give up the throne. In a way, that might not be as bad a sit sounds. Celestia and Luna probably would not want to be dragged out of retirement, but maybe Dinky could rule with her mother, side by side, like Prince Shining Armour, Princess Cadance and Princess Flurry Heart in the Crystal Empire. But no, that was ludicrous. Ditzy Doo just wanted to be a normal pony. She didn't want to be a princess. She didn't mind being an alicorn, as that meant having magic and a long flowing mane and tail, but she wasn't suited to running a business, let alone ruling the kingdom.

She read the letter from her students again. She could talk to them in person because they didn't live that far away, but only about what she had already shared. She would have to send another letter. She felt something twist in her stomach as she realised that Rememberance Day was only a few weeks away. On that day, she would be expected to talk about the past, to make a speech about it. She couldn't. She just couldn't.

As she wrote, she thought about the events in these letters. Was she still that filly who had fled the tyranny of Tirek and Cosy? Was she still that dinky little mare? Was she the same pony who had struggled to stay alive while she searched for a way to free the land? No. She had learned a lot since then. Still, the letter became stained with tears for the lack of innocence in the world, and bitter feelings towards her former mentor and friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

When it was finished, she realised just how much of a wreck she was becoming. She had shed so many tears over what had happened. Why, though? Why? It was a simple question that required a long and complicated answer. Why? It was because there were no ponies other than Twilight that knew the whole truth, so there were no other ponies to talk to. That was why these letters were so important. They more ponies that knew about this, the less of a burden the secret is for those who know. If only there was a counter-spell for the Carrying Curse...

It came to her then. That was what she had to do. If she could work out a counter-spell in the four weeks until Rememberance Day, she could tell everypony the whole entire truth. Otherwise, it would be too much to bottle up, and Dinky was close to losing it. She had to let somepony know what was going through her mind. It was the only way to untie the knot in her stomach that was twisting and making her ache both physically and emotionally.