Google Translate be like:

by Lame Joke

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5105

what if a story went through several rounds of google translate?

Rainbow Dash went to buy ramen. Ramen, yes, sounds boring? Well, I spiced it up by adding a dose of google translate! So, if I translate this sentence, it would look like this:

Iris went to buy rainbow Raman. Raman Yes, do you think that's boring? OK, I collected it with Google Translate! If I had to translate this sentence it would look like this:

Lmao how did Rainbow Dash become Iris.

Edit: reached 69 views!

Yay i made this into a series, so prepare for ultimate cringe :rainbowwild:

NOTE: This series is not cancelled, I'm just busy irl.

Published 2020-05-01 11:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-10 10:58:06 UTC

Original ramen

The first ray of sunlight drifted through the windows beside the sleeping figure of Rainbow Dash, whose snores were so loud that it overpowers the alarm clock that had been ringing for about an hour. Somehow she woke up, and got a blast of the unforgiving morning sun.

"Ouch!' shielding her eyes, Dash pulled herself up, smashing the alarm clock to pieces. She turned to the wreck, pissed at herself.

Well, I would have to give that to Twi later, Dash thought. She stretched and yawned, exposing whatever horrible things that resides in her mouth. Giving the photograph of Soarin that's placed on the bedside table a loving look, she fluttered to her bathroom for a quick rinse.

"Never gonna give you up~" the horrible singing of the pegasus echoed through the house when a knock on the front door could be heard. Oh crap, I think Derpy heard me, Dash thought to herself, as she draped a towel around mane and rocketed to the front door. She opened it, revealing Derpy the mailpony.

"Hi Rainbow Dash! That was some horrible singing, but at least it is better than mine. Here's your usual mail form Zephyr Breeze," Derpy smiled at the cyan pegasus and handed her the envelope, which she grudgingly took.

Next time, Dash reminded herself as she looked at the retreating figure of Derpy, I should tell her to throw away all my mails from Zephyr. Shaking her head, she stepped back into her house and ripped open the envelope with her mouth. The almost-illegible handwriting of the lovesick pegasus is scrawled all over the pink coloured paper inside. The 'would you marry me, I want you with me nonsense, blah blah blah'. The cyan pegasus scrunched the envelope into a ball and threw it into a pile of rubbish, half of which are letters from Zephyr.

After drying herself completely, she gathered some bits and deposited them into a bag, and headed out. She needed to buy ramen, the most delicious of delicious noodles, as awesome as the pegasus in question. She was about to fly off, when she remembered that she had to let Twilight fix her alarm clock. In a whiff, she had gathered up the pieces of the unfortunate alarm clock that had suffered the pegasus' wrath, and flew towards Ponyville.

She landed with a halt in front of Sweet Apple Acres, and yelled for Applejack to come out.

"AJ! Do you have ramen?"

"I've told ya about a hunnid times Dash, I ain't selling no noodles of any sorts!"

Rolling her eyes, Dash took off into the sky again. Ain't Sweet Apple Acres a farm? If so, they should be growing noodles out form the ground, what kind of farm doesn't grow noodles, especially ramen?

The cyan pegasus landed yet again in front of Sugercube Corner. She walked into the shop and was immediately greeted by the always hyperactive Pinkie Pie.

"Hiya Dashie! What do you want today?"

"Do you sell ramen?"

"No! But I have some here I think," Pinkie dug around in her mane, pulling out a packet of ramen, "Ah, here it is!"

"Thanks Pinkie," Dash said, half weirded out, half impressed. She tossed Pinkie some bits, and went out.

"How does she even store so many things in her mane, is she secretly a unicorn or something?" Dash muttered to herself. She was always jealous of Pinkie's ability to do extraordinary things such as defying physics, among other things.

"Hi Rainbows!"

Unknowingly, while thinking of Pinkie's ability to do things, Dash had walked into the most annoying pony, Zephyr Breeze. Flinching at the sight of the dreaded pony, Dash tried to take off into the sky, but was held back by the bermuda pegasus.

"So, I was thinking about marrying my dear Rainbows, what do you think?" Zephyr winked at Dash with a winning smile, which she replied with a disgusted look and stuck her tongue out. Then she retracted her tongue back into the safety of her mouth, worried that Zephyr might try to suck on it or something, who knows what that crazy pony can do?

"Come on Rainbows, I know you want this handsome pony, don't you?" Zephyr added, his smile stretching even wider. Dash was deciding to whether beat Zephyr up or just fly up high and drop him. She could feel her wings tensing up, preparing to take flight when somepony shouted.

"What do you think you are doing?"

The two pegasi turned their head together to the sound. A wave of relieve washed over Dash as she found Soarin standong before them, his green eyes glaring fiercely into Zephyr's cerish ones. Dash could feel Zephyr's body tremble slightly as he opened his mouth to reply Soarin.

"I, uh, I was giving Rainbows here a friendly hug, wasn't I, Rainbows?" The pegasus looked at Dash, expecting her to help him.

Dash pushed the lovesick pegasus off from herself. Zephyr was dumped unceremoniously onto the ground. He scrambled up and shot Soarin a frightened look before flapping his wings, desperately flying off to the distance.

"You ok, Rainbow?" Soarin approached Dash.

Dash could feel her heart beat furiously inside her chest as he draped a wing around her back. Warmth spreaded over her back from his touch. She leaned onto Soarin, who smiled.

"Hey, don't go fainting at my sight. I know I'm handsome, I don't need anypony else to prove it," Soarin joked, pulling Dash closer to himself, "Did that creep do anything to harm you?"

"Nah, he just weirded me out, asking to marry me. Heh," Dash chuckled, realising how stupid it sound when she said it out. Soarin couldn't resist a snicker escaping his throat.

"You should had accepted his offer. Imagine his joy,"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up,"

The two pegasi stared at each other, then Soarin broke the silence.

"So... I got some duties at the Wonderbolt headquarter,"

"Yeah, I got to get this bad boy fixed over at Twi's castle," Dash held up her broken shards of what was once her alarm clock.

"Had a bad morning?" Soarin laughed.

Dash leaned in, and closed her lips around Soarin's to shut him up. His eye lit up for a while, but closed and enjoyed the kiss. Dash savoured the taste, it was sweet, the sweetest thing ever. She pulled herself out of it after a while, much to the dismay of Soarin.

"Well, we should get going," Dash said. The two pegasi spread their wings, and flew off. Dazed by what she had done, Dash flew back to her house, where she laid on her bed, relishing the moment of the kiss.

Then she realised she forgot to let Twilight fix her alarm clock.

Author's Note

dont mistake me for a zephyr hater lol, i like him, my hairstyle is shaped like his:rainbowderp:

Translated ramen

The first rays of the sun crept through the window. As the rainbow fell asleep, her voice rolled to change the alarm clock. One, he must wake up But not a man

"Oh!" He raised his head and made a ringing of bells as he waited for the signal.

Okay, I should post it on Twitter. Dash thought of calling him out, betraying everything that went into his mouth. He took a nice photo of Zori sitting at the bedside table and took a quick shower.

When hearing the Pegus dance music in the house, Wow Group, I mean, Depi gave it to me, and it was as if Dash was holding a towel while he walked to the door knowing that it was his own. He opened it by receiving the letter.

"Hello, Rebu, the song is not funny but is better for me. "This is the letter you already have, Sophie Braz." Derby's Kane Peggy laughed and laughed, irritating her envelope.

The next time Dash decided that the derby was being tested, I told him to delete all the messages from the bed. He looked up. He sat down in his room and put the envelope in his mouth. And in that, Pegasus often found handwritten notes and pink paper. Blah Blah said, "Show me." Ian Ian Pegus divides the envelope with a ball and pulls it out of the brush, half from Sopher's letter.

After completely drying, he collected a few pieces and put them in a bag. Since Pegus was the case, he had to buy his favorite salad. He is traveling to the airport when he remembers that Twilight should be out of his alarm. In the middle of the crisis, he collects the painful warning signs that lead to Peggy's wrath and fly to Pineville.

He stood in front of the Sweet Apple Acres and shouted that he would leave before Apple could continue.

-Do you have a boy?

"I told the magician I would not sell all kinds of food"

He closes his eyes and lets Dash back to the sky. Will Apple Become a Status? If so, the soil will grow on the ground and the plants will not grow, especially not plants.

Sin Pegius comes down again in the corner of Sugercube. He goes to do business and meets Rosie Pee, who is always there.

"Hey, hurry. What do you want today?"

"Do you sell people?"

"No, but I think there are a few here," Rose added, receiving the box from Rome. "I'm here, I'm here"

"Thank you, Rose," said Dash, half a second and half. He threw a few punches and Rose came out.

It's like keeping things in a bottle. It's a mystery or something. Dash Dash. He's always jealous of his ability to do things like the concepts of physics, among other things.

Good rain!

As he shows Finkie's abilities, Dash suffers with Braz in the second year.In an effort to control her pain, she tries to get down to the sky. But captured with one hand

"So I was thinking of getting married to your favorite bow. What do you mean?" Efir laughed and responded with warm laughter. He returned to the language of consonants. The second year student deals with those who know what bad boys can do.

"Come face to face with the rain. I know you want a wonderful tent, right?" Sephir also said that his laughter is widespread. Hurry and decide to hit Zephyr or fly high. Some people can be healthy when they are sick.

What do you think happened?

Pakasi turned his neck. When seeing Sri Rin standing in front of her, she looked at the sofa, her eyes wide open while looking at Sophie's flying door. When he opened his mouth to answer Sarin, Das's body might shake slightly.

"Okay, I gave Rainbows well because I was a rainbow." He looked at Dash and hoped his allies needed him to help.

Hurry and grab the Pegus, which he loves. Suddenly, Ep Fyre fell to the ground. He slid his wings and he threw his wings over and covered Siri.

Khun Keng Rainbow Surrey comes to the dotted line

Both nails turn heads to make a sound. When Dash saw Soren Stendong in front of him, a good sigh of relief came over him, his green eyes staring proudly at Zephyr's teeth. Dash heard Zephyr's body tremble in response to Sorin's mouth open.

"Clearly I've put a rainbow-friend's rainbow here, don't I, rainbow?" Pegasus looked to Dash hoping it would help.

They Lovic released Pegasus from him. Cotton sugar drops well into the ground. He stared at Saurin in fear, then slowly grabbed the animal and became disturbed.

"You're fine, rainbow?" Surin Shah goes through it.

When Dash broke his back, Dash boldly pressed his heart to his chest. Call radiates heat on it. He goes across to Surin.

"Hey, don't count on me. I know I'm beautiful. I don't want another horse to prove it," Thorin said, pulling Dash. "Doesn't this hurt you? "

"No, he was disappointed and told me to buy it." Sorin had no choice but to escape from neck to neck. "

"You have to accept his ways. Just respect him."

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!"

The two Pegasus looked at each other and the board held up.

"So ... I have a role in Vanderbilt's chair."

"Yeah, I pushed these bad guys into Twi's castle," Dash put the gold carpet on their alarm.

"Isn't it good in the morning? Gao Fei laughs.

Dash deceives Sorin without closing himself. His eyes widened slightly, but he closed his eyes and enjoyed the kiss. Bribery is delicious and delicious and is the most fun in the world. After a while he picked himself up and mourned for Sorin.

"Well, we have to go," Dash said. The two Pegasus wings expand and flee. Dash took a sip of what he had done and returned to his house, lying on the couch, enjoying a moment's kiss.

When he saw this, he forgot to turn on the Twilight bell.

Author's Note

this makes no sense at all

Original Books

The rustling of pages turning could be heard in the castle as Twilight Sparkle read her book, sprawled on the ground. The amount of words crammed into one page is uncountable, nopony know how the purple alicorn could read all those as fast as Rainbow Dash flies. Heck, nopony even knows how Dash flies as fast as Twilight reads. Now this is getting confusing.

Engrossed in her reading, Twilight did not notice the cyan pegasus hover into her room. Dash stood behind Twilight, clutching the remains of her smashed alarm clock. Perfect opportunity to prank the egghead, Dash thought.

A piece of paper floated down in front of Twilight, and it slowly drifted onto the book. The alicorn, now aware of the paper, picked it up using her magic.

"What's this?" Twilight mumbled, "Kiss my ass- Rainbow Dash!"

Twilight turned her head behind, a lecture about kissing ponies' asses already forming in her mind when she got a faceful of the pegasus' backside. The tail strands brushed against Twilight's nose, and she let loose a sneeze. Dash burst out laughing as she took to the air, circling above the bookshelves and clutching her stomach.

"Rainbow Dash! That was just... inappropriate!" Twilight shouted, her face turning a bright shade of red, which did not go unnoticed by the cyan pegasus.

"Oooh Twi, didn't knew you have the hots for me, pity I'm taken," Dash snickered at the alicorn's discomfort.

"Someday," Twilight thought to herself, "I would have to learn that turd generating spell, and use it on Dash,"

The image of Dash's mouth filled with indigestion was enough for Twilight to calm down. She pulled the pegasus down using her magic, ignoring the defiant yelps of the pegasus.

"Why are you here Dash? I was reading a book until you... did your usual sheenanigans," Twilight asked the pegasus. She held out her alarm clock pieces, which made Twilight do a facehoof.

"It's the sixty-ninth time, Dash,"

Rainbow Dash, desperate to avoid the topic, swooped down upon Twilight's book and picked it up. Turning to the cover of the book, she could not help but laugh at the title.

"Seriously Twi? A book about reading books?"

"Give that back here, Dash! There's more to reading books than you know!"

Dash stuck out her tongue and dropped the book, which Twilight caught with her magic. The alicorn glared at the pegasus, quite enough of her messing around.

"Just take the clock and go already. I want to read my book in peace," Twilight directed her horn at the ruined alarm clock, restoring it back to its normal status. She floated it back to Dash, who grabbed it with her wing and stuffed it into her saddle bag.

"Thanks!" the cyan pegasus said before flying out of Twilight's room.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Twilight went back to reading her book of how to read a book.

A piece of paper floated down in front of Twilight, and it slowly drifted onto the book. The alicorn, now aware of the paper, picked it up using her magic.

"What's this?" Twilight mumbled, "Kiss my ass- Rainbow Dash!"

She turned around, preparing to fling the pegasus out of her room, but was met with, well, an ass. However, dat ass wasn't Dash's. Twilight was smart enough to make out that Dash's tail is rainbow, but this tail is pink.

"Pinkie Pie!" The alicorn complained.

The party pony rolled onto her back, tears rolling down her cheeks as bouts of laughter escaped her mouth. Twilight, annoyed, directed her glare of doom towards the pink pony, which of course did nothing to the boisterous pony.

"What are you doing here Pinkie?"

"Well, I came here to check what book you were reading! Since you looked so focused, no, too focused in your book, I've decided to play a simple prank on you!" Pinkie bounced around the library, picking out random books from the bookshelves, "Did it put a smile on your face?"

"Well, I would be smiling if I could read my book peacefully without any pony disturbing- hey!"

Pinkie had suddenly appeaed in front of Twilight. Picking up her book, she turned to the cover and nearly choked.

"A book on how to read books? That's like, a lecture on how to listen to a lecture, which you had given in the School of Friendship last week!" Pinkie chuckled at the absurdity of the book title.

"Anyways, I'll just borrow these books from you. Bye Twilight!"

Pinkie hopped out of her room humming a song, leaving a disgruntled Twilight with her book on how to read books, which she returned to reading.

A piece of paper floated down in front of Twilight, and it slowly drifted onto the book. The alicorn, now aware of the paper, picked it up using her magic.

"What's this?" Twilight mumbled, "Kiss my ass- Rainbow Dash! Or Pinkie Pie!"

The alicorn turned around for a third time, before realising she had stupidly fallen for the same prank thrice in a row. She could hear her mother saying in her mind, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, just go commit die,". She was, again, met with a pony's flank. This pony was also different, with a flowing tail of green, blue, purple and pink and a white coat.

"Princess C-Celestia?" Twilight spluttered, confused why her mentor would play such a retarded prank on her.

"Hi Twilight, just wanted to know what are you doing. You looked so engrossed in your book, I could not help but prank you," Celestia smiled.

Twilight was speechless.

Celestia floated the book that Twilight was reading closer to herself, and studied the title of the book. Then she let out a snicker.

"A book on how to read a book?" Celestia returned the book to Twilight while laughing before exiting the room.

Twilight was left confused.

"Screw this," she thought to herself, and returned to reading the book on how to read a book.

A piece of paper floated down in front of Twilight, and it slowly drifted onto the book. The alicorn, now enraged with the stupid prank, did not turn around or even read the paper. Using her magic, she detected a pony standing behind her, and held the pony still. She took to the air, her eyes filled with malice and stared at the pony.

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I HAD ENOUGH PRANK FOR A LIFETIME"

Shining armor blinked at Twilight, confused.

"That was the ticket to the Grand Gallopping Gala, Twilight, I'm not playing any pranks. And how do you know I fucked my mother?"

Author's Note

ponk has entered the chat:pinkiesmile:

Translated Books

You can hear pages whispering in the castle as you read the book Twilight Glow on the floor. The number of words collected on the site is numerous and no one knows that a purple Alicorn can read as fast as Rainbow Dash. No one really knows how Dash flies at the speed that Twilight is reading. This is now complicated.

At dawn, she didn't realize Heavenly Pegasus was floating in her room. Dash was past noon, holding the broken remnants of the alarm. Dash provides the perfect opportunity to have fun with the egg cup.

Before the turn of the century, the lump of the paper sat quietly on the book. Alligator, now known in the newspaper, needed magic.

"what's this?" He muttered, "kissing your ass - rainbow dash!"

Twilight was studying the back of the head, which was a lesson in how to kiss the scalp on her head when she was caught in the fall. Clean threads at the ends of the machine and open the drum. Dash laughed as he walked through the air, holding the shelves and catching his breath.

Rainbow Dash! It was just ... inappropriate! “Then his hair came out and his face was red, something the blue pagans couldn't see.

"Oh Twi, I don't know if you took my show, I left so bad," Dash complained to the evil one.

"One day I have to find this official and use it in the dash," Leco fos thought.

The Dash Vengeance concert was enough to silence Twilight. He registers Pegius with magic and ignores Pegus' great terror.

“What brings you here? I read a book until you find it… you are just ordinary ”. Twilight extended the alarm clock going forward.

"Sixty-nine, it's Dash."

Trying to avoid the problem, the rainbow went to Twilight. He turned to the cover of the book and laughed at the title and couldn't help it.

Two loaves of bread? To read books? "

"Dash here, and read more than you ever knew!"

Dash published the language and published the book "Twilight Spirited". He saw Unicorn weakened by his frustration.

Twilight wrote on the alarm clock and returned to normal. “Look at the clock and get out. I want you to read my book quietly. She returned to Dash. He inserted her pen into a pen and took it to his horse's pouch.

"thank you!" Chiya Pegus spoke before leaving the Twilight room.

The twins were relieved to read a book and read the book.

A sheet of paper bathes before dusk and slowly throws it into the book. Now that the character knows, Alicorn catches him using his magic.

"What is that?" At dusk At dusk: "Kiss your butt. Rainbow jerk!"

He turned to pick up the leash from his room, but found it better. But this ass is not a dash. The sunset is smart enough to form a rainbow tail, but that tail is pink.

"Pinkie cake!" Complained Alicorn.

Behind her was a pony party, her cheeks flowing like laughter. A miserable twilight catastrophe drew his gaze to the pink horse, which, of course, had nothing to do with the concentrated horse.

"Pinky, what are you doing here?"

"I came here to review the book you are reading! If you are so focused, not too focused on your book, I decided to just prank you. Pinky jumped into the library and picked up random books on the shelves. "

"Unfortunately, I laugh if you can read my book quietly without hurting the horse ... Hey!"

Pinky suddenly appeared in front of Twilight. Picking up the book, he turned to the cover and almost drowned.

"Book, how to read books? It's like a lesson on how to listen to a missed lesson at last week's friendship school!" Pinky exclaimed nonsense in the title of the book.

"Anyway, I only ordered books like that. Okay!"

Pinky left her room to play a song and Twilight didn't like the way she read the books she read.

A piece of paper turned into a sunset and slowly turned on the book. To Alison's knowledge, Alison made herself magical.

"What?" Shepna Twilight, "Kiss your rainbow ass!" Or "pink cake"!

Alikon turned three times, but three times, before seeing him fall on the same fool. From the heart, it can be a business from the mother. Too bad I'm wrong twice. Please kill him three times. The pony accepted again. This green, blue, purple and pink tail and white coat were also different.

Is Hime Amami? When the teacher looked back, the sunset set.

Hi, this is wonderful. You are so involved that you need to know what you are doing. I wanted to help Sorry, Celestia smile.

The day was calm.

Celestia published the book she had read and researched the title of the book. The sniper was then released.

Books, how do you read? Before leaving the room, Celestia had a great time with her book on Twitter.

The day became painful.

I thought I was alive, went back to the book and read it.

At the end of the article he approached twilight and slowly dropped the book. Now smiling at the joke, Alice did not return and read the newspaper. With the help of magic, he sees the cat and unloads the cave. He jumped into the air, eyes full of evil, and looked at women.

"Forget me, Mom!" I participate in life.

In the evening he was confused.

"It's a ticket to the Great Halloping Festival today. I'm not playing. Am I glad you killed my mother?"

Author's Note

This isn't as bad as i thought

Translated letter

Travel:

I could not understand why my sister was six. Better yet, this looks better! Who will run Questria?

I do a lot of things, but Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie do more than just run and protect runs from all kinds of mistakes. However, at least that may cross my mind. You take the cake and put it in your mouth, but it is not necessary. Instead of handing over the marriage to a bad boy, he made the poor decision to take on the role of young players.

See Applejack! He has important leadership qualities such as dawn because he knows how to change the huts and make good punches. Apple juice is best. Well, I have something now, I'm really crazy about banana juice. Applejack works better than Twilight. Good people have to deal with dehydration. But he is disgusted. Because it's called parsley, it sings. Hi, maybe that's not a good idea.

He is a different king. Fly to the heavenly temple! Is it better to sit under a sun-kissed girl? Do princesses need beautiful clothes? I think that's true, but it's better than Rarity Twi. I watched Tightight when the mountain fell from the package and the other half won in Ponyville. But I don't think Rarity can do better. Ready to make clothes. Consider the royal attire. I usually use honey water.

Fluttershy stood like a princess. Imagine sitting in the bathroom and seeing amazing things. This girl. But you're shy as I said. It just needs a club.

Fluttershy can be a pumpkin and a tree, and can be a guide to melting like a tree before a snake. Thank you

Geez ... it's very sad. Princess Fool is back. At least you can fight the beginning. That said, I do not recommend that you slow down in the air when entering the water, so I will go for the gold corner later.

Na You are the perfect princess! I don't believe there, so you can go to Ponyville after reading this information.

we have
Seasonal gift

Author's Note

the signing off hit me hard

Original letter

Dear Princess Celestia,

I don't understand why Twilight is the only pony that gets to be a princess out of the six of us. Heck, she's like, the nerdiest one! Who wants a nerd to rule Equestria?

Me, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie had done as much, if not more than Twilight to help defend Equestria from all sorts of villain. Well, on second thoughts maybe not Pinkie, all she does is just brings cupcake and stuff them into her mouth, but that's not the point. Just because Twi gets to say all the fancy words before defeating the villain and is somehow lucky enough to land a leading role in the elements of harmony doesn't mean that she's the best at being a princess, right?

I mean, look at Applejack! She has as much leadership skills as Twilight because she knows how to run a barn and make good apples. And the cider is the best. Ah yes, the cider. I'm gonna go get some of it now, please excuse the stains if I accidentaly spilled the cider. So, obviously Applejack can be a better ruler than Twilight, she can just bribe the villains with her cider to get them chucked into jail, its so worth it. But she's racist though, cuz she sang that racist song, something about racist barn. Eh, she might not be good material for a princess after all.

Rarity can be a good princess also. She runs a boutique for fuck's sake! She makes a better princess than Twilight because she, uh, dresses in style? Do princesses need to dress in style? I'll take it as a no, but still Rarity is more presentable than Twi, just look at Twilight when she casted that spell on a doll and caused a rampage and a half in Ponyville. However, I bet Rarity sucks at doing stuff, she's only good at making dress. Imagine, the princess of dresses. I almost choked on my cider on that.

Fluttershy is quite cool as a princess. Picture her on a throne with some shades and lookin' smug, that's some princess shit right there. But she's just too timid, or as I always say, being a doormat. And she likes to be a tree. That's weird.

Now that I think about it, Fluttershy can be a doormat and a tree, just let her stand still like a tree in front of the castle and act as a welcome doormat. Heh, no need to thank me.

Pinkie... fuck her. Princess of being stupid and retarded. At least she can defy physics. Speaking of that, she still haven't taught me how to slow down in mid air while jumping into water, I'll have to go over to Sugarcube Corner later.

That leaves me, the perfect princess! You can just come over to Ponyville after reading this and just give me that horn, cuz I'm just that awesome.

Yours sincerely,
Rainbow Dash