“Miss Twilight,” called a voice.

Twilight blinked, and looked away from the can of peas she had been inspecting for their nutritional value. To where a young unicorn filly stood awkwardly in the middle of the canned food aisle, a nervous look on her face. Twilight instantly recognized her orange mane and yellow fur, and smiled calmly down at the foal.

“Yes Pumpkin?” Twilight replied, kneeling to the young pony’s level.

“Why is it called a bit?” Questioned the young pony.

Twilight was about to answer when a wide eyed Mrs cake skidded around the corner, her gaze instantly latching onto the foal. “There you are Pumpkin! What did I say about wandering off like that?” Hissed the mother.

“But mom, I just wanted to find out why it's called a bit,” Pumpkin whined. “And you didn't know!”

“That's no reason to bother Miss Twilight,” whispered Mrs cake. “I’m terribly sorry about that dear. Pumpkin has become quite inquisitive of late.”

“It's no trouble at all Mrs Cake. Curiosity is an important thing to foster, and the answer to her question is simple,” Twilight smiled down at the foal. “A thousand years ago there was a money shortage so Celestia had copper coins minted as a sort of promissory note that could be exchanged for a bit of the royal fortune. They were officially called Equestrian relief dollars, but most people knew them by the nickname bit and it just kind of stuck.”

“I did not know that,” murmured Mrs Cake.

“It's actually a fairly similar story as to why the vanhoover two dollar coin is called a toonie,” Twilight added.

“Huh, that's kinda neat,” remarked the child.

Twilight smiled. “And since only very few people tried to redeem the new bits, the economy was able to continue on and take only a small dip and now you know.”

“What do you say to the nice lady Pumpkin?” Mrs cake encouraged.

“Thank you Miss Twilight,” Pumpkin happily exclaimed.

“It was my pleasure, and Pumpkin, stay curious,” Twilight whispered, flashing the foal a wink before she and her mother walked away. “Now then, to figure out if these pees have a high enough iron content to serve as a replacement for blood.”

“Why do you need blood?” Questioned another voice.

Twilight let out a yelp and tossed the can of vegetables into the air, narrowly catching it with her magic before it could hit her young assistant on the head. “Spike, don't scare me like that!” Twilight shouted.

The dragon blinked slowly, and raised a bag. “I was just getting the bread you wanted.”

“Err thank you,” Twilight muttered, tucking the bread into her cart. “And to answer your question, some very old magical rituals need blood to function because ancient unicorns thought it made their spells more powerful. It doesn't, but they made their rituals in such a way that they don't work without the blood, which is ethically sourced nowadays, instead of being drained from prisoners of war or unfortunate serfs.”

“Huh,” Spike muttered. “Say, how do you get a shortage of money anyway? Can't you just mint more when that happens?”

“Not if your gold reserves are low like they were after the war of shadows,” Twilight corrected, the mare tucking a few cans of peas into her cart before trotting down the aisle.

“How did that happen? I thought equestria has like tons of gold,” Spike pressed, walking next to Twilight.

“Oh we do now, but after the war there wasn't nearly enough,” Twilight corrected. “Ooh tomato soup is on sale.”

“Okay so then why was there like no gold then?” Spike continued.

Twilight glanced curiously at her companion. “Why the sudden burst of interest?”

“Well you told Pumpkin to stay curious, so I figured I should as well,” Spike replied with a shrug.

The mare nodded. “I suppose that's fair, just keep your eyes out for blueberry pie filling and pie crusts. Mom and dad are coming over this weekend and I want to try making dessert again.”

Spike chuckled. “If you aren't making the filling or the crust, can you even say you made the pie?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Would you rather I try to make it from scratch?”

Spike shuddered as he recalled the last blackened circle that Twilight had declared was a pie, “No that's fine.”

“Then keep your snide comments to yourself mister. I have a story to tell,” Twilight cleared her throat as she guided her cart around the end of an isle. “It all started over a thousand years ago and Nightmare Moon was meeting with her generals before her final battle with Celestia…”

The dark alicorn growled, and slammed her hoof against the table, jostling the carefully placed flags and miniature ponies which dotted the map laid out before her. “For the last time, her victory is not assured!” Nightmare Moon shouted in the face of a towering earth pony.

Who merely narrowed her eyes. “You keep saying that, but you have not given us a single reason to believe you.”

“Because I said so, thats why!” Nightmare Moon bellowed. “I am your queen, and I have the right to withhold whatever secret I desire. Even from my generals.”

The grey coated earth pony bowed her head slightly, her black mane dangling in front of her vision. “My apologies, Queen Moon. I fear as though the stress of this campaign is beginning to get to me.”

“Take the evening off, take a lover, or take those stars off your shoulder. You will serve in the coming battle, the only question left is if you will be on the first line, or the last,” Nightmare Moon hissed.

The small gathering of ponies shifted uncomfortably under the declaration, though none dared to speak out. Nightmare Moon inspected their faces carefully, weighing them each in turn, starting with the earth pony who spoke earlier. Before finally ending on a diminutive, one eyed bat pony stallion who stood slightly apart from his allies.

“Now then, since you all know what it is your are supposed to do, and have had a chance to try my patience…” Nightmare Moon began, her gaze flicking from one creature to the next. “You are dismissed.”

The assembled generals began to move towards the exit, save for the one eyed bat pony, who took a few steps away before stopping once he was alone with the alicorn. He fastened the tent’s exit shut before turning back towards Nightmare Moon and leaned heavily on the large oak table.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked.

Nightmare Moon smirked. “I’m glad to see you are not completely blind, old friend.”

“Aye, your sister sure tried anyway,” muttered the stallion, who brushed a hand over the dark eye patch. “But I doubt you just wanted to reminisce about the old times.”

“No I didn’t,” Nightmare Moon declared, the armored alicorn tapping a spot on the table. “Do you know what lies in Manehatten?”

“A port, a fort, and about three thousand Celestian soldiers,” replied the stallion.

“As well as three of the largest banks in Equestria which are getting a large shipment of gold destined for Celestia’s mercenaries,” Nightmare Moon continued.

Causing her companion to raise an eyebrow. “And why is that important?”

“Because…” Nightmare Moon hesitated, glancing down at her companion. “You know how tenuous things have become, yes?”

“I am your spymaster after all. If I didn't I wouldn't have a job,” remarked the stallion after a pause. “Though I assumed you had a plan of some kind to rectify that.”

“I do,” Nightmare Moon assured the stallion. “I have an ace up my sleeve, one that will give me the edge when I meet my sister in combat. With her defeated, the fragile alliance of noble houses, warrior clans and foriegn mercenaries will fall apart.”

“Then why mention the gold at all?” questioned the male.

“Because if I am defeated, but they do not have the gold necessary to continue paying the mercenaries they will not be able to continue the war,” Nightmare Moon concluded.

“Which means that they will be too busy dealing with rabble rousing foreigners and unicornian politics to press into the spine of the world,” explained the spy master.

“Yes,” Nightmare Moon announced with a sigh. “If I fail they will hunt your kind to the ends of Equestria. Death and failure are two things I can handle, but if the noble Thestralians were to die out…”

The alicorn’s shoulders sagged, and her previously confident expression vanished, her gaze falling to the floor. “I would never be able to forgive myself,” she murmured.

“You know they say if you plan around failure then you will have planned to fail,” offered the bat pony with a smirk.

Nightmare Moon snorted. “And I have heard that If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.”

The bat pony smiled and nodded slowly. “Alright. So I make off with a massive load of gold, then what? I pay the mercs to fight Celestia?”

The alicorn shook her head. “Their contracts forbid it. However, if we lose this war, you cannot remain in Equestria and the gold cannot come with you.”

“Then we bury it, or perhaps give it to one of the dragon lords?” inquired the stallion.

“No dear Ink Eyes. We are going to toss it into the mournful titan,” Nightmare Moon proclaimed, grinning confidently. “Plus the dragon lords have all been bribed to not interfere. No, with the gold gone, they will have no reason to follow you and no possible way to pay back their mercenaries. It is the only way the ponies who sided with me are not hunted down and butchered.”

The stallion nodded slowly. “You’ve given this a lot of thought.”

Nightmare Moon winced. “I have had a lot to consider these past few weeks.”

“My spies will remain with the army. I need only a small squad to procure your gold,” Ink Eyes declared.

“Then you will do it, truly?” Nightmare Moon pressed.

“I would have done it even if you told me to break in and piss on the lot of it just to spite that old hag,” Ink Eyes remarked.

“Careful, I’m not that much younger than her,” Nightmare Moon teased.

Ink Eyes chuckled, and pushed off the table. “Celestia has been old ever since she was young.”

Nightmare Moon hummed thoughtfully. “Quite true.”

“Anything else I should know?” Asked the stallion after he reached the tent exit.

“In ten days, if the moon rises on time, dump it. If not, return to this very spot so I can pin a medal on you,” Nightmare Moon commanded.

“It will be done,”

“And that's how the equestrian economy crumbled, the celestian alliance fell apart, and why our money is called bits,” Twilight proclaimed.

The sudden stomping of hooves made Twilight look around to where the other shoppers in line for the check out, and the clerk herself were all applauding her.

“Oh um, I didn't know I had an audience,” Twilight murmured, her cheeks growing red.

“That was a heck of a story,” remarked the stallion in front of her. “I didn't know any of that.”

“I’m just amazed the guy did it. I woulda took off with all that gold,” added the clerk.

“Yes well, Ink Eyes was a very loyal stallion,” Twilight murmured.

“Hey, why didn't you do the old timey voices?” Spike questioned.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “They didn't even speak modern equish. You wouldn't even understand what I was saying if I had translated it into middle equish.”

“Huh. Well, the more you know,” Spike exclaimed.

Author's Note

I was feeling inspired and needed an outlet, so here ya go! Not supported by anyone or a request or w/e. Just something I felt like doing.