The Enemy of my Enemy is Annoyingly Hot

by Wintermist

Rating: mature
Tags: Ember, Anthro, Profanity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Porn, Comedy, Gilda, Violence, Sex
Length: 3783

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle had at long last decided to go exclusive with one another, and everypony couldn't be happier for them. Every pony. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for Gilda and Ember.

Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle had at long last decided to go exclusive with one another, and everypony couldn't be happier for them.

Every pony.

Unfortunately, the same can't be said for Gilda and Ember.

-
Blatant smut. Features a bit of fun violence of the not-particularly-serious kind, so much profanity, griffon/dragon sex, tail sex, cunnilingus.

Entered into Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest and The May 2020 Pairing Contest.

Published 2020-05-02 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-02 21:20:01 UTC

A Collision of Intent

Picture a castle grown from a single crystal. It's a beautiful, elegant structure, glittering in the sun, a fusion of nature and architecture that embodies the very principle of harmony with the natural world.

There's a note on the door. It says, 'Out saving Equestria. Please stop milk'.

Picture a few ponies, formerly out for a pleasant afternoon stroll, hurrying away from it as fast as possible.

And finally, a voice. A screeching, very displeased voice.

The door shuddered under the hammering of Gilda's taloned fist. "Get out here, you sparkly little bitch! I know you're in there! I'm gonna pull your mane out!" Stepping back, she began furiously kicking at it, her heavy boot leaving no impression on the golden metal. Pushing back her fringe of feathers from her face, she added furiously, "I fucking mean it!"

She was tall for a female griffon, and obviously fit. A tight purple crop top over black booty shorts exposed much of her muscled body, a short jacket bedecked with chains over the top. A spiked collar encircled her feathery throat, dark purple patterning shading her eyes. She was as gorgeous as she was radiantly pissed off. Sucking in a breath, she glared at the undamaged door, then kicked it again. "Stop cowering under your bed, damn you!"

An unexpected voice answered from above. "Twilight! I want to talk to you, right now!"

"Hey! I'm here to talk to that purple slut, so you can-" began Gilda furiously, twisting around with a fist upraised, only for her words to die in her throat. A female dragon - a very female dragon - was descending towards her, pale blue scales gleaming, wide wings hammering the air. Stark naked. Hefty tits stood out from her body, capped with darker nipples, her pussy unashamedly on full display.

Dust whipped up as she landed, clawed feet settling onto the ground. Her red eyes narrowed as she turned to face Gilda. "I don't know who you are, but I am here to talk to Twilight, and you can just get in line."

"I'm Gilda, I was here first, and I am going to beat the pulp out of her, so you can wait your damn turn and have whatever's left when I'm done!" Gilda clenched her beak, gesturing furiously at the castle. "That bitch stole my marefriend! They sent me a fucking letter!"

"Well, I am Princess Ember, Dragon Lord, and you can get out of my way!" Ember snapped. "Twilight sent me a letter! 'Dear Princess Ember, I'm sorry to say that I have to conclude my research into dragon mating habits with you'! That's how she tells me we're not going to be having sex anymore?" Her crimson eyes hot, she glared up at the towering castle, then shot Gilda a sideways glance. "Rainbow Dash is your marefriend?"

"We fuck when I stay over! It's the same thing! And now that's all gonna stop because Princess Egghead has gotten my Dash all turned around and ass-backwards? I don't think so!"

Ember snatched the note from the door and read it. "Not here? She didn't even stay around to face me!"

"What a crock of shit," Gilda sneered. "She heard I was coming and slapped that up there! She's fucking hiding from me!"

Growling in frustration, Ember pinched the bridge of her nose between two claws. "Look. You want Rainbow. I want Twilight. We can both get what we want."

"Wrong! I want to pummel Twilight, and then Dash will realise what a fucking dweeb she's dating!" Gilda sneered. "And for the record, Princess Blue-Tits, I don't give a fuck what you want. What, you left your cave so fast you forgot all your clothes?"

Tossing the note aside, Ember wheeled to face Gilda, eyes narrow, lips parted to reveal a glimpse of sharp teeth. "I only wear clothes when I don't want to upset the precious ponies' little feelings. Unlike you, I'm not ashamed of my body and I don't have to hide it!"

Yanking off her chain-laden jacket and hurling it aside, Gilda grabbed a handful of her tank top and ripped, shredding the thin cloth. The ruins fluttered to the ground, baring her firm breasts and pierced nipples. "Eat my ass, you scaly bitch! My bod is way hotter than yours, so why don't you just fly off back to your muddy little hole in the ground and cry over how you couldn't even keep that pathetic nerd interested! I'm here to beat the shit out of a princess; keep getting in my way, and you might just fucking do!"

Ember sneered, hefting her heavy tits in both hands. "Is that all you've got? No wonder that your precious Dashie lost interest, and had to go fuck up other people's relationships instead! If you'd been any good in bed, none of this would have happened!"

Gilda's clenched fist slammed into the dragon's face, knocking her back a step. "Shut up! I'll knock your fucking teeth out!"

Rubbing her muzzle, Ember snarled, then lunged. Gilda kicked up into the air out of reach, wings flaring. "Too slow, scale-bitch! You could never keep up with-"

Ember's wings snapped down with a boom of displaced air, shooting her upwards. A sharp twist and her thick tail lashed out, slamming into Gilda's side and hurling her against the castle. "What's the matter? Beak making promises your ass can't keep?"

Gilda gasped as she was hammered against the wall of crystal, starting to fall before she managed to straighten her wings and swooped beneath Ember, looping back up into the air again. Jabbing a talon at the dragon, she hissed, "You're fucking done."

"Squawk, squawk, squawk," said Ember dismissively, gesturing with her hand like a flapping mouth.

"Rragggh!" Gilda roared, launching herself forward. The two met in midair, punching, kicking and biting, twisting and tumbling as they sought to gain advantage. Gilda was faster, but Ember could twist more tightly in the air, and they struggled higher into the sky, neither able to gain a hard enough advantage to end it. The castle shrank beneath them as they fought, terraces and towers spread out like a model of itself.

Ember's tail was giving Gilda some real trouble. Their talons locked together as they struggled, fingers intertwined, Gilda kicking violently as it slid around her waist and coiled upwards against the base of one wing. Unable to flap properly, she tilted in midair, leaving her hopelessly off-balance. Ember laughed, a hissing sound of triumph.

Gilda head-butted her. Momentarily stunned, Ember's wings stopped flapping.

They dropped.

"Let go of me, you fucking idiot!" shrieked the griffon, trying to untangle herself enough to fly.

"You first!" gasped Ember, shoving Gilda's hand away from her face. "You're going to-"

The two of them slapped into a raised castle terrace with a dull, resonant thud, like the punctuation of Gods. Twinned groans rose into the air, fading into the mingled sounds of harsh breathing as they tried to recover the wind that had been so brutally knocked out of them.

Lying on her back, pinned beneath Ember, Gilda shook her head dazedly, trying to recover her rattled wits. She was... she was buried in the dragon's cleavage, struggling to find air, her arm pinned, their legs tangled together.

Ember's skin was... soft. Amazingly soft. She'd expected the scales to be hard and cold, but they were smooth and flexible, and the dragon's body radiated heat like a furnace. Gilda was used to being the bustiest flier around, the naturally lithe bodies of most pegasi not giving her much competition, but Ember's tits were something else entirely.

"You... utter fucking idiot..." Ember panted from atop her. "Why didn't you just-"

Gilda's tongue flicked across Ember's blue nipple.

"Hnnn!" groaned the dragon, her body tensing. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Do you ever shut up?" Gilda groped around blindly with her free hand, trying to catch Ember's wrist as she curled her tongue around Ember's hardening nipple and flicked it back and forth. She was at a disadvantage pinned to the ground, but if she could just get some leverage-

The griffon's eyes widened as all of a sudden, Ember's thick, scaly tail pressed between her thighs, grinding against her sex through her tattered black shorts. A hot, shaky gasp escaped her beak, her back arching.

And then, Ember's weight lifted as the dragon pulled back and rolled to the side. Gilda sucked in a deep breath and pulled herself up onto her feet, body tensed, eyes narrowed.

They'd come to rest about halfway up the castle, on an elevated terrace sealed off from the interior by another golden door. Ember hadn't had the best of the fight; the shadow of a bruise was darkening around one eye, her scaled body marked by the scratches of Gilda's talons. On the other hand, Gilda knew she was missing a bit of fur and quite a few feathers, and Ember had got in some good bruises and scratches of her own.

There was a rich red-purple flush across Ember's blue cheeks, and in her gaze, there glittered a different kind of heat amongst the vengeful anger. A look that Gilda could feel her own body reacting to, sore wings flaring outwards.

"I fucking hate you," the griffon breathed, undoing her shorts and roughly shoving them down to bare her moistening pussy.

"You're a violent idiot," hissed Ember, circling her slowly. The dragon's red gaze raked slowly over Gilda's exposed body, naked now but for her heavy boots.

"Like I give a shit what a scaly tramp with a big mouth thinks," retorted Gilda, raising her talons. The two of them drew closer, warily, like cats, breathing fast. "You can get fucked."

"Get fucked," Ember growled back. They met in a single violent lunge, arms wrapping around each other, tongues tangling as beak met muzzle. Ember's huge tits pressed insistently against Gilda's pierced breasts, crushed together deliciously. The dragon's tail lashed urgently, her leg sliding between Gilda's, and without a conscious thought, the griffon's hips began rocking back and forth, grinding her pussy against Ember's smooth scales.

The dragon's back arched as Gilda's talons slid between the two of them, capturing one heavy breast and twisting her deep blue nipple. Gasping a heated sound of pleasure, she panted, "You're not fit to lick the dust off my claws! Dragons just fight before we fuck, and my body doesn't know what a bitch you are!"

"Who asked you?" sneered Gilda. "I don't give a damn why you're panting for me!" Her hips jerked, her pussy smearing slickness over Ember's scales as she rocked against the dragon's body. The other flier's tits were incredible, and it was all she could do to hold back a moan as she kneaded them.

"Any warm body would do! And let me tell you, there are plenty around here that are much hotter than yours!" Ember's tail whipped behind her, the flush across her cheeks deepening as she kissed Gilda violently, tongues intertwining. Finally breaking away, breathing hard, she accused, "You're the one humping my leg like a dog in heat!"

"I should have just kept punching you," growled Gilda, wrapping an arm around Ember and seizing her ass to pull the dragon harder against her own body. "Not like you can fight back properly with those tits bouncing around all the time. I'm amazed you can even fly!"

"You just wish you had a body like mine, instead of a fat ass and hips that can't fit through doorways!" Ember's hands ran roughly down Gilda's back, filling her hands with the griffon's round, firm ass and squeezing. Rocking her thigh against the other girl's heated cunt, Ember shuddered as Gilda twisted and flicked her tender nipples, wings jerking with every movement of her talons.

"I'd rather die than have a scaly streak of nothing where my hips should be!"

"Dying can be arranged!"

Ember's tail curled around Gilda's legs - that damn tail again! - and pulled. Gilda stumbled, her outstretched wings fluttering as she tried to catch herself, but to no avail. She hit the ground on her back, a gasp forced from her beak, then Ember was atop her, sitting on her legs and pinning her wrists to the crystal platform beneath them.

Red eyes wild, the dragon panted, "Do you ever just shut up?" Ducking her head, she closed the end of her muzzle over Gilda's left nipple, kissing and flicking the piercing with her long, prehensile tongue.

"I'm just letting you suck my tits so I can stop listening to you!" Gilda retorted, straining against Ember's grip on her wrists, before suddenly gasping as she felt the dragon's tail slide over her heated pussy. "Ohhhfff," she groaned incoherently, her hips jerking.

"That's more like it," Ember purred, a smile spreading over her lips as she rocked her body against Gilda's. "Got something to say to me that I want to hear? I'm a merciful ruler. I can be moved by the right begging."

"I told you, I don't give a shit who you are!" growled Gilda, her eyes closing as she tried to grind herself against the tip of Ember's tail. Her body was on fire, the short, fine fur around her pussy matted with her juices, and she was an inch away from trying to wring Ember's throat. "Either fuck me or get off me!"

"You will never understand how fucking lucky you are to have even touched me, you obnoxious cat-bird whore!"

Wrenching her arm free of Ember's grip, Gilda grabbed hold of her curving horn and snarled, "One more word-"

The tip of Ember's tail thrust into the griffon's pussy, the delicate arrowhead flattening against the shaft. Breath exploded from her, tawny body arching against the smooth crystal, even as her grip tightened on the dragon's horn. "Fffuck! Fuck me! Fuck me, you scaly blue bitch! Fuck my cunt!"

Ember's eyes snapped closed, her breath hissing between her teeth as she felt Gilda's tight body squeezing her tail. Shifting her hips, she straddled Gilda's leg, rocking back and forth against the captive griffon as her tail thrust and squirmed within her. "I should have shoved my tail in your damn mouth!"

"I'd fucking bite you!" Gilda's beak parted as she tried to catch her breath, her body tensing around the deliciously unfamiliar thickness spreading her open. A sharp whine escaped her as Ember's agile tongue flicked her pierced nipples once more, and she pulled the dragon's head down against her tits. Wrapping her arm around Ember's waist, she instinctively began to caress and stroke the lower edge of the other flier's wings.

"You wouldn't dare- ooohhh," groaned Ember, taken by surprise by Gilda's touch. Her wings shivered under the griffon's talons as they ran along the edge of her sensitive flight membranes, and she ground her pussy against Gilda's leg more forcefully. "Oh, that's good, that's really good..."

Squirming against the cool ground, Gilda nodded jerkily. Ember's tail curled and thrust within her, as dextrous as an agile tongue and thicker than a cock, and it was all she could do not to beg for more. Letting go of Ember's horn, she reached down and grabbed a handful of those glorious tits, squeezing and rubbing her thumb over the nipple. Ember's mouth was so hot against her skin and the weight of her body pinned her down deliciously.

It was too much, and Gilda loved that it was too much, that it was driving her crazy! Her ragged cries echoed around the deserted terrace as her pleasure rose, an unstoppable surge of heat and tension and lust that drowned her, drowned all else, everything except the single need to cum her brains out. Ember's tail rammed into her once more, and the dam broke; the griffon shrieked, a long, undulating cry of torturously glorious release. Darkness swirled behind her closed eyelids, filled with bursts of non-colour as her chest laboured for air.

The back of a hand slapped her head to the side. Her eyes jerked open, and she looked up with incredulous anger at Ember, the dragon's face flushed, red eyes glazed, her whole body jerking back and forth as she ground her needy cunt against Gilda's body.

"Don't just fucking - lie there! Keep playing with my wings! I was so close!"

"You hit me!" Gilda snarled, pushing herself up on one elbow.

"We both hit each other, a lot. Or can't that tiny bird-brain of yours remember back that far?" Ember sucked in a breath, then let it go in a gasp as she pulled her tail free.

"Nnnngh! Oh, you mouthy blue cunt, I am gonna break you in half!" Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Gilda seized the dragon's shoulders and forced her backwards, freeing her legs from Ember's weight. Gathering them under her, Gilda surged forward, slamming the other flier onto her back against the crystal.

Ember yelped as she hit the ground, jaws parting, then gasped threateningly, "If you leave me like this, I'm going to-"

Gilda buried her head between the dragon's thighs, and ran her long tongue up the soft folds of her drenched pussy.

"OHH! Oh, by Talon's First Flame, yes! Lick me out, you stupid, violent pain in the tail!"

Gilda's talons came together with delicate precision, pinching Ember's clit and wrenching a shivering yelp from the dragon. Lifting her head, the griffon said huskily, "Shut your giant mouth, you obnoxious, fat-ttited slut, and let me work!"

Red-faced, Ember sank back against the ground, her hands rising to massage and tease her own breasts, and her legs parted wider. A deep, rich red-purple coloured the scales around her sex, glistening in the light with her arousal. "...yeah. Okay."

Gilda grinned, then lowered her head once more, lapping at Ember's pussy as she teased the dragon's clit with the tips of her talons. She tasted different from ponies, or even griffons, her subtly scaled skin burning with heat; like no girl Gilda had ever lain with before. Moaning appreciatively, feeling her own breasts stroke against the cool, smooth crystal, Gilda lost herself in the moment. Every fresh gasp and shudder was a testament to her skill, to the fact that no one was better at this than she was.

Ember's thighs tensed, the dragoness fondling herself more and more roughly as her peak approached; Gilda smirked and backed off, laying a series of kisses down Ember's tingling pussy without giving her enough to get off against.

In a strangled whisper, Ember breathed, "Make me cum or I will crush your head with my thighs, I truly mean it!"

"Is that any way to talk to the griffon that's-"

"Gilda!"

Gilda's tongue flicked across Ember's clit, wrenching a gasp from the dragon's lips, matching her rhythm to every wave of lustful need that rolled through the scaled body beneath her. No more teasing, no more games; just every ounce of her skill and desire, poured into the movements of her tongue and fingers.

"Oh fuck, fuck, yes, like that," Ember whimpered, "that's good, that's it, I want it, that's it, don't stop, I'll kill you if you stop, I'll burn your home and level your cities, I'll - haaah! AHHH!"

Ember's cry howled and boomed from the face of the castle, echoing through the sky; birds jerked into wing, scattering from the primal sound. The dragon slumped back, her wings flattened beneath her, tail twitching sporadically, her breasts heaving as she panted. Sweat dampened her body, bringing a fresh iridescence to her scales.

Pushing herself up to her feet, Gilda looked down at the other girl, mouth suddenly a little dry. Ember was gorgeous, in ways the griffon had never experienced before. She wanted to lay her down in a cloud and spend hours exploring her body, tasting every inch of her, finding every little sensitive spot along those strange, featherless wings that made her talons curl with pleasure.

Gilda kicked her instead.

"I win, loser. Better luck next time."

Ember's slitted eyes flickered open, then narrowed in annoyance. "Are you still here?"

"I was here first!"

"Then you can stay here, for all I care. They're not here. I'm leaving."

"Good! You do that! Get out of here!"

Picking herself up off the floor, Ember rubbed her eye, where the bruise from their earlier fight was darkening. Flashing the griffon an evil look, she added grumpily, "Gilda is a stupid name anyway."

"Yeah? Well, I don't even remember your name, blue-tits. If you're done, I'm done. Got better things to do than hang around a closed door."

"My name is Ember," the dragon hissed.

"And I still don't care."

"I fucking hate you," Ember grumbled, stretching her wings to work the kinks out of them.

Gilda turned, picking up her shorts and remembering with a flash of annoyance that her top was in shreds down on the ground somewhere. She heard the rustle of leathery movement as Ember's wings extended, then said abruptly, "When she gets back, I'm coming back here. I still need to beat her down."

"Well, I have a conversation to have with her too, and I'm having it first! So you can sit on your fat ass and wait until I'm done!"

Gilda turned on her heel, and jabbed a forefinger at the dragon. "I'll black up your other eye, you get in my way."

"Next time, I won't go easy on you!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"...right." Gilda nodded. "When she gets back. Don't start without me. I want my chance at you. Right?"

Ember bit the corner of her lip, then nodded in return. "Right."

"Sure. Now piss off."

One after another, the dragon and griffon took to the air, Gilda swooping down to the front gate to rescue her abandoned jacket. Silence slowly returned, and one by one, the birds settled back to their roosts atop the castle turrets.

Very slowly and cautiously, Twilight peeked up over the window sill.

"Well. This could either be good, or very, very bad," she murmured. Turning to a fresh page in her notebook, she added to herself, "Though I will get to continue my study of dragon mating habits..."

Author's Note

Written in a single day as a last-ditch measure to add one more story to Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest. Also because the whim struck me to write The Clash of the Tsunderes.

Shout out to Fylifa for linking me the image I used as the cover art for this piece this morning, kicking off the basic concept that became this story.

Last-minute proofing by Equimorto.