Dead Man With a Violin

As I pulled the bow across the strings, I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead from the muggy weather. It was another awful afternoon in Los Angeles, with the rest of the week looking just as bad.

I was standing on the sidewalk in my usual place, violin case open on the ground, eagerly awaiting a generous passerby to drop a dollar inside. I looked down and, just like the last few days, it was empty.

I grimaced, and looked to the sky, staring at the clouds.

My view was mostly blocked by towering skyscrapers, passing planes, and thick smog. I groaned, and thought about how much I hated this filthy city and everyone in it.

"Get the hell out of the way!" A man said, shoving me and knocking my violin out of my hand.

"Watch it asshole!" I yelled back, kneeling down and picking up the battered instrument.

He turned around, yelled "Get a real job you stupid fucking hobo!" and walked off.

I was filled with anger, tired of this redundant life.

I stood, resuming the piece that I was playing before. The violin let out an awful screech, and I quickly stopped. I wasn't exactly sure what, but something was broken.

The thought of suicide was a comfort to me, promising me that with it this torture would end. I swore to myself that today would be the day, the day that I would finally decide whether or not to kill myself.

It took me all of ten seconds to make up my mind.

******

I couldn't take it anymore.

I hated this whole world with every fiber of my being, and I had decided that I didn't want to be here anymore.

I packed away the violin and bow in the case and took off towards the train station, pushing random pedestrians out of my way. I heard the whistle of the nearing train, and decided that I would use it to make my leave. I didn’t care if it was overly dramatic or anything, it’s not like anyone would miss me. I had no friends, and the only family I had had deserted me a long time ago.

I don't know of a better way to die, I thought to myself. Quick, and hopefully painless.

As I neared the station, I could see the train coming.

I stepped onto the platform and ran towards the train tracks like a mad man. As I neared the tracks, I heard a woman scream "Stop him, he's going to hurt himself!" but I didn't care, I had already made up my mind.

I hopped down onto the tracks below, faced the oncoming train, and stood spread eagle. I was grinning like a mad man, finally finding something to be happy about in my life.

It was almost over, and I was ecstatic.

I gazed up into the sky and screamed "FUCK THIS WOR-" and I was gone.

******

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping, feeling quite awful.

“Ugh…” I groaned. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a train.”

I got up off the ground, rubbing my eyes, amused by my own stupid joke.

I saw the violin case on the ground and decided I might as well take it with me. Bending down and grabbing it, I looked around, checking out my surroundings. I was on the very edge of a forest, a couple yards away from the end of the forest where I could see a small pond.

Feeling thirsty and filthy, I decided to check the pond and see if it was drinkable.

Slowly walking over to the pond, I yawned and stretched out my arms.

I must have been out for a while, I thought to myself.

I kneeled down and studied the water. It was crystal clear, and I could see the water flowing. I looked over to my right and saw a small stream, flowing into the pond.

Alright, it’s clean, I thought, setting down the case and cupping the water in my hand.

I stopped for a second and thought, Wait, why do I even care if it’s clean, I’m dead anyway.

I shrugged off the thought and took a big gulp.

******

The water was refreshing, and surprisingly ice cold. I looked down into the water again, checking out my reflection.

I stared into my odd gray eyes and, to my surprise, found that my hair had grown much longer and my beard much scruffier than before my death.

My light brown hair was now down a little past my shoulders and my beard had grown out to three inches. Even my clothes looked dirtier; my shirt ripped up and stained, my jeans and shoes covered in dirt.

“Huh. Death must make you look scruffier.” I chuckled, amused by my new appearance.

I splashed a couple handfuls of water on my face, grabbed the case and stood, admiring my beautiful surroundings.

At the edge of the forest, I found myself in a grassy plain, surrounded by mountains. I guessed that it was noon, the sun looming overhead. Not knowing of much else to do, I decided to follow the stream back to its source.

This must be purgatory, I thought to myself.

I knew it couldn’t be Heaven because I, well, killed myself, and I knew it couldn’t be Hell because of the distinct lack of everything being on fire.

I wasn’t a man of faith, but I didn’t know what else to make of my surroundings.

****

Walking beside the stream, I began to think about how the hell my life had come to this.

I had lived with my parents till I was three, and that’s when my dad died. My mom found a new boyfriend, and they ditched me at an orphanage and rode off to start a new life in Hawaii. There I found my passion for the violin.

The caretaker at the orphanage, an old woman me and the other children called Nam, was a wonderful violinist. The first time I heard her play, I knew I wanted to learn how to play. She began teaching me when I turned eight. It was hard, as I was no natural, but she was kind and patient. With each day, l had gotten better and better.

After 10 long years, she had turned me into a master.

When I turned eighteen, I knew what to expect.

I couldn’t stay there after I turned eighteen, and I hadn’t prepared for the future at all. Nam was heartbroken, but there was nothing she could do.

Before I left, she handed me a note. She told me it was a note from my mom she had wrote to me before she left, a note that she told Nam to give to me when I turned eighteen.

When I turned to leave she grabbed me by the shoulder and said “Believe in yourself, Alex. You can play better than anyone I’ve ever heard before. You may not be the strongest or the smartest, but I know you have the biggest heart.”

She was the only person I ever loved.

Before I left, I looked down at the note, and started reading it.

"Dear Alex,

I’m sorry I left you at this dump but my new boyfriend made me choose between him and you, and how can I give up a handsome rich guy like that? I hope that you have no hard feelings and that you understand why I did this, and I-"

I had crumpled up the note in my hand and tossed it into the trashcan beside me, not bothering to finish it. It hurt knowing that my mom deserted me for some stupid rich asshole, but whatever. I didn’t care about her anymore, and I didn’t care about him. I decided to use my anger to press myself further and show her that I wasn’t just some stupid kid in her way. I had decided that I going to-

“Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!”