Dead Man With a Violin

by DrSanchez

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, DJ P0N-3, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Main 6, Romance, Original Character, Octavia, Comedy, Sex
Length: 5798

A depressed violinist commits suicide and goes to equestria.

A depressed violinist commits suicide and ends up in Equestria.

(Many thanks to spaceguy5234 for proofreading and giving me suggestions.)

Published 2012-08-26 07:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-26 02:56:19 UTC

Arrival

As I pulled the bow across the strings, I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead from the muggy weather. It was another awful afternoon in Los Angeles, with the rest of the week looking just as bad.

I was standing on the sidewalk in my usual place, violin case open on the ground, eagerly awaiting a generous passerby to drop a dollar inside. I looked down and, just like the last few days, it was empty.

I grimaced, and looked to the sky, staring at the clouds.

My view was mostly blocked by towering skyscrapers, passing planes, and thick smog. I groaned, and thought about how much I hated this filthy city and everyone in it.

"Get the hell out of the way!" A man said, shoving me and knocking my violin out of my hand.

"Watch it asshole!" I yelled back, kneeling down and picking up the battered instrument.

He turned around, yelled "Get a real job you stupid fucking hobo!" and walked off.

I was filled with anger, tired of this redundant life.

I stood, resuming the piece that I was playing before. The violin let out an awful screech, and I quickly stopped. I wasn't exactly sure what, but something was broken.

The thought of suicide was a comfort to me, promising me that with it this torture would end. I swore to myself that today would be the day, the day that I would finally decide whether or not to kill myself.

It took me all of ten seconds to make up my mind.

******

I couldn't take it anymore.

I hated this whole world with every fiber of my being, and I had decided that I didn't want to be here anymore.

I packed away the violin and bow in the case and took off towards the train station, pushing random pedestrians out of my way. I heard the whistle of the nearing train, and decided that I would use it to make my leave. I didn’t care if it was overly dramatic or anything, it’s not like anyone would miss me. I had no friends, and the only family I had had deserted me a long time ago.

I don't know of a better way to die, I thought to myself. Quick, and hopefully painless.

As I neared the station, I could see the train coming.

I stepped onto the platform and ran towards the train tracks like a mad man. As I neared the tracks, I heard a woman scream "Stop him, he's going to hurt himself!" but I didn't care, I had already made up my mind.

I hopped down onto the tracks below, faced the oncoming train, and stood spread eagle. I was grinning like a mad man, finally finding something to be happy about in my life.

It was almost over, and I was ecstatic.

I gazed up into the sky and screamed "FUCK THIS WOR-" and I was gone.

******

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping, feeling quite awful.

“Ugh…” I groaned. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a train.”

I got up off the ground, rubbing my eyes, amused by my own stupid joke.

I saw the violin case on the ground and decided I might as well take it with me. Bending down and grabbing it, I looked around, checking out my surroundings. I was on the very edge of a forest, a couple yards away from the end of the forest where I could see a small pond.

Feeling thirsty and filthy, I decided to check the pond and see if it was drinkable.

Slowly walking over to the pond, I yawned and stretched out my arms.

I must have been out for a while, I thought to myself.

I kneeled down and studied the water. It was crystal clear, and I could see the water flowing. I looked over to my right and saw a small stream, flowing into the pond.

Alright, it’s clean, I thought, setting down the case and cupping the water in my hand.

I stopped for a second and thought, Wait, why do I even care if it’s clean, I’m dead anyway.

I shrugged off the thought and took a big gulp.

******

The water was refreshing, and surprisingly ice cold. I looked down into the water again, checking out my reflection.

I stared into my odd gray eyes and, to my surprise, found that my hair had grown much longer and my beard much scruffier than before my death.

My light brown hair was now down a little past my shoulders and my beard had grown out to three inches. Even my clothes looked dirtier; my shirt ripped up and stained, my jeans and shoes covered in dirt.

“Huh. Death must make you look scruffier.” I chuckled, amused by my new appearance.

I splashed a couple handfuls of water on my face, grabbed the case and stood, admiring my beautiful surroundings.

At the edge of the forest, I found myself in a grassy plain, surrounded by mountains. I guessed that it was noon, the sun looming overhead. Not knowing of much else to do, I decided to follow the stream back to its source.

This must be purgatory, I thought to myself.

I knew it couldn’t be Heaven because I, well, killed myself, and I knew it couldn’t be Hell because of the distinct lack of everything being on fire.

I wasn’t a man of faith, but I didn’t know what else to make of my surroundings.

****

Walking beside the stream, I began to think about how the hell my life had come to this.

I had lived with my parents till I was three, and that’s when my dad died. My mom found a new boyfriend, and they ditched me at an orphanage and rode off to start a new life in Hawaii. There I found my passion for the violin.

The caretaker at the orphanage, an old woman me and the other children called Nam, was a wonderful violinist. The first time I heard her play, I knew I wanted to learn how to play. She began teaching me when I turned eight. It was hard, as I was no natural, but she was kind and patient. With each day, l had gotten better and better.

After 10 long years, she had turned me into a master.

When I turned eighteen, I knew what to expect.

I couldn’t stay there after I turned eighteen, and I hadn’t prepared for the future at all. Nam was heartbroken, but there was nothing she could do.

Before I left, she handed me a note. She told me it was a note from my mom she had wrote to me before she left, a note that she told Nam to give to me when I turned eighteen.

When I turned to leave she grabbed me by the shoulder and said “Believe in yourself, Alex. You can play better than anyone I’ve ever heard before. You may not be the strongest or the smartest, but I know you have the biggest heart.”

She was the only person I ever loved.

Before I left, I looked down at the note, and started reading it.

"Dear Alex,

I’m sorry I left you at this dump but my new boyfriend made me choose between him and you, and how can I give up a handsome rich guy like that? I hope that you have no hard feelings and that you understand why I did this, and I-"

I had crumpled up the note in my hand and tossed it into the trashcan beside me, not bothering to finish it. It hurt knowing that my mom deserted me for some stupid rich asshole, but whatever. I didn’t care about her anymore, and I didn’t care about him. I decided to use my anger to press myself further and show her that I wasn’t just some stupid kid in her way. I had decided that I going to-

“Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!”

Melancholy

My eyes shot up.

I had been walking for hours, lost in thoughts of the past. It had gotten much colder, with snow covering the ground and trees.

“Let’s finish our holiday cheer!”

I could hear singing coming from the distance. I hurried my pace, continuing to follow the stream.

“Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up! Cause tomorrow spring is here! Cause tomorrow spring is here!”

What the hell is that? I thought, disgusted by the singing.

It was like someone was pouring a mix of sugar, sprinkles, and marshmallow fluff into my ear, extremely sweet and awfully corny.

I stopped walking, only to see a town in the distance.

It looked like some sort of medieval town, with snow-covered roofs made of straw. Scanning the town, I could see a huge building in the center, towering over the other buildings. I decided to head there and find out just where the hell I am.

I was nearing the source of the singing, each cutesy lyric getting louder and louder.

“Bringing home the southern birds, a Pegasus’ job begins” I heard a tomboyish girl’s voice sing.

Wait, Pegasus? I thought, not understanding the weird lyrics.

“And clearing all the gloomy skies, to let the sunshine in.”

I heard the sound of something zooming past above me and looked up to see a rainbow blur fly past. The clouds above me suddenly disappeared, brightening the area around me. I looked down to see snow on the ground melting.

What the hell is going on?! I thought, searching frantically for the source of the singing.

Finally, I looked up to see the source, my jaw dropping open in shock.

******

It was a pony.

A god damned pony with wings flying above me.

It was sky blue, with a rainbow colored mane.

“We move the clouds and we melt the white snow!” I saw two other ponies appear and join the pony in singing, a white one with a curled purple mane and a pink one with a pink poofy mane.

“When the sun comes up its warmth and beauty will glow!”

“WHAT. THE FUCK.” I said loudly, quickly covering my mouth.

Whoops.

The ponies stopped singing, and were staring at me with the same look on their faces I had a couple seconds ago. If this were a cartoon, I probably would have heard a record scratch.

“WINTER WRAP UP! WINTER WRAP UP!”

I looked over to see the pink pony singing.

“WINTER WRAP UP! WINTER Wrap up…” She trailed off, realizing that the other two ponies had stopped singing.

She looked at all of us, first at the white one, then up to the blue one. When she finally looked at me, she let out an almost comedic gasp and sped off into the town.

“Um… Hi!” I said, trying to be friendly to the odd creatures.

As if they were following their leader, the two ponies looked at each other sped off in the same direction.

******

I ran after them, wanting to know what this place is.

Okay, definitely not purgatory.

"Hey, stop! I’m just trying to talk to you!” I yelled after them.

As we ran towards the tall building I saw earlier, other ponies started hiding in the buildings we passed. Blue Unicorns, orange Pegasi, it was insane. When we finally reached the building, the three ponies dashed inside, slamming the door shut behind them. Like an idiot I hit the door, falling to the ground hard.

Ow. Shit.

I got back up, stumbling dizzily. When I slammed into the door must have startled the ponies, squeals coming from the other side of the door. I went to the door and pressed my ear against it.

I could hear them talking.

“What the heck was that beast? It was absolutely hideous.” I heard a preppy sounding voice say.

That must be the white one, I thought. Wait, I’m not that ugly.

“Maybe it was a monster that was coming to eat you Rarity! Rawrgh!!!”

It was that pink one.

She started giggling but was quickly hushed by the other two.

“Be quiet Pinkie, I think it can hear us.”

It was the tomboy pony.

“I don’t know what that thing is but whatever it is we gotta stop it before it hurts somepony.”

Tired of being called it, I decided to speak up.

“Uh, I can hear you three.”

I could hear them scream.

“I’m not going to hurt anypony. Err, anyone. I just want some help.”

The door opened, knocking me back as the pink one bounced out.

“Oh, well why didn’t you just say so? I LOOOVE helping others!”

I took a deep breath, preparing to explain my situation when the other two ponies zoomed out, grabbed the pink pony and ran down the street.

I sighed.

******

I decided to leave the town.

What help would they be if they wanted nothing to do with me?

I walked down the dirt road, head hanging.

I can’t believe I’ve only been here for a couple hours and yet everyone already hated me.

I could feel the eyes staring at me.

I was a freak.

I started running, and I ran, and ran, and ran.

Stop staring at me!

I tripped and fell face first.

Getting up, I looked around, and noticed that I was far from the town, back in the forest. I dusted myself off and picked up the violin case.

It was battered and covered with dirt.

I sat down on a log, staring off into the sky, thinking back to when I got the violin.

******

I'd just turned twenty.

I had been traveling all over the United States ever since I left the orphanage, making a living from playing my violin on the street. I didn’t make much, just enough for food to eat and a room at a run-down motel.

I was in New York City, playing an instrumental of Sweet Child O’ Mine for fun when a man walked by and dropped a $10 bill in my case.

“You sure are a mighty fine fiddler," He said.

“Uh, thanks.”

“Say, how’s about you stop by my pawn shop when you get done here. I got something I think you might like. It’s called Cash Cow Pawn, its right around the corner. Come on in later on if you’d like.”

The man walked off, leaving me interested in what he had to offer.

I dropped into the pawn shop, the bell ringing as I opened the door.

“I’ll be with you in just a minute!” I heard a feminine voice call out.

I decided to look around and see what the shop had to offer. I walked over to the glass cases and checked them out. They were filled with old jewelry. A high school football ring over here, an honor society pin over there. They were all useless mementos.

******

“How can I help you?”

I hadn’t noticed the woman standing in front of me. She was a bit short, with red frizzy hair. She had a smile plastered on her face, and I could tell that she was eager to help.

“Um, I’m looking for a man. He said he owned this place.”

“You’re looking for Frank? Oh, you must be the violinist he was talking about. He’s in the back; I’ll go get him for you.”

She disappeared into the door behind her.

As I walked over to check out a different glass case, I could hear noise coming from the back.

“Are you seriously sleeping back here again? Get your lazy ass up, we got a customer!” I heard the woman yell.

“Oh c’mon Diane, it’s not like we’re real busy or anything.”

“He said he’s looking for you!”

I heard a loud yawn as the door swung open.

“Glad to see you came by.”

It was the man from earlier, Frank.

“So, what did you have to show me?” I asked.

He walked over to a small cabinet, unlocked it, and pulled out a violin case.

******

It was beautiful, with black leather, with a gold trim.

He set the case in front of me. On top, I could see the initials V.H. engraved in gold letters.

“Some old lady sold it to us a couple weeks ago. Said she needed the money for traveling. She was looking for someone, a boy I think.”

He opened the case, revealing a beautiful violin, stained black.

It looked… strangely familiar.

I ignored this thought, getting straight to the point.

“Alright, you hooked me. How much is it?” I asked.

“I think I can part with it for a hundred bucks.”

Without even thinking, I pulled out my wallet and slammed $100 onto the counter.

It was all I had.

“Well alrighty then,” He grinned.

“I see you’re eager to buy it. I knew you’d like it.”

Within a few minutes I was out the door, case and violin in hand.

“Y’all come back now, y’hear!”

******

I smiled.

Memories of the past filled me with joy, thinking of back before this all happened.

I sat up on the log and let out a long yawn.

I had been lost in thought for about an hour, and the sun was setting. It was beautiful outside.

The combination of these joyful memories and the painful time left me in a state of melancholy.

I was inspired, and I knew what I wanted to play.

I took a look at the case, but remembered what happened to the violin.

Still, I could at least give it a shot.

I opened the case and to my surprise, the violin looked brand new.

All the scuff marks and scratches it accumulated over the years had disappeared.

I picked it up out of the case, drew my bow and played a note.

It sounded beautiful.

I prepped myself, and began to play.

Sad Romance, I thought.

Thao Nguyen Xanh.

As I played, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

Thoughts raced through my mind.

Where am I? Why did this happen to me?

The world around me faded to black, the music consuming me.

Even without a pianist, I could hear the piano.

It was an awesome feeling.

******

Before I knew it, I was done.

I sat in silence, staring at the ground, completely taken over by emotions.

“That was… Beautiful.”

White and Grey

Startled, I shot up and turned around, raising the violin above my head as if it were a club.

No one there, I thought.

Just some bushes and trees.

I shrugged it off, deciding to explore the area a bit more.

I guess it was just my imagination.

I hopped over the log I was sitting on and started in the direction I came from when I heard a small “Ow!” I looked down and caught a glimpse of a light greyish blur shooting back inside the bush next to me. Intrigued, I walked over and looked at the bush. Well that’s odd.

I examined the bush, pulling apart the leaves and looking inside.

I wonder what that was…

“What the hell!” I yelled stumbling backwards into a tree as a light grey pony leapt from behind the bush.

“Now that he’s gone I can-” She looked over to see me standing right there.

“Oh, um… Hi!” She said with a sheepish smile.

I could sense the embarrassment in her voice.

I stood straight, grimacing at her.

She had a light grey coat with a dark gray mane. She almost looked like a normal pony from my world except for the fact that she had light purple eyes and pink treble clefs on her sides.

“Sorry about spying on you, I just, uh, saw you walking down the road with that beautiful violin case and just had to ask where you got it, so I followed you, and well…” She started blushing. “I guess I just got cold hooves. I was about to leave too but then… Then I heard you play. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”

Even with her compliment I was still pissed at her for spying on me.

“I just couldn’t leave, not before you finished, so I hid behind this bush and-” I cut her off.

“WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU JUST TALK TO ME INSTEAD OF SPYING ON ME?” It was uncalled for, but after everything that happened to me I wasn't very happy.

This clearly upset her.

“WELL THEN! I guess I will be leaving.” And with a slight humph, she started trotting off towards the town, nose in the air.

Alright, I thought. I guess that was kinda rude.

“Okay, I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

She stopped and said “You’re gonna have to apologize better than that.” before continuing on towards the town.

I gritted my teeth.

Who does this bitch think she is?

Despite my anger, I knew this might be my last chance at making a friend.

“Oh, alright. I’m really sorry for yelling at you for spying on me.”

She stopped again.

“Better.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

I sighed. “Okay, I am so extremely terribly sorry for being so incredibly awful to you.”

She turned and smiled at me.

“Apology accepted.”

As we walked back towards the town, I tried striking up a conversation.

“So… What’s your name?” I asked.

“Oh, my name is Octavia, what’s yours?”

“Alex.”

“Alex? That’s a strange name.”

“Alex is a strange name?” I chuckled “Octavia is the strangest name I’ve ever heard.”

“Maybe where you’re from… Speaking of which, where are you from?” She asked.

I sighed, and looked up into the sky.

“Somewhere far, far away.”

“Oooooh, how mysterious.” She teased.

“I’m a very mysterious person.” It felt good to finally talk to someone, to come out of the lonely shell I've been cooped up in for years.

“Well then Mr. Mysterious, answer this. What exactly are you?” She asked.

“A human.”

“A what?” She looked over at me.

“A HU-MAN.”

“Okay, okay!” She laughed “It’s just, I’ve never heard of a HU-MAN before.”

“I guess I’m the only one here then…” I shrugged, putting my hands deep in my pockets.

Her smile faded.

“I guess so.”

Not wanting to be a killjoy, I tried brightening back up the mood.

“I guess that officially makes me the coolest person in this world.” I said, grinning at her.

“Oh really?” She smirked at me.

“You haven’t seen cool yet. Just wait ‘till you meet- Oh hey, we’re almost there!”

I was... Intrigued.

“Meet who?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Oh, you’ll see tomorrow.”

I saw the town up ahead.

It was surreal seeing a town bustling with colorful ponies going about like humans, buying and selling goods, chatting with friends and strangers, enjoying the evening. Maybe I ended up in some alternate universe, who knows. I always thought I would understand everything after death, but I guess not.

When we reached the town, and the sun had finally set.

“What is this place?” I asked.

Octavia replied with a grin. “This is Ponyville!”

As we entered the town, I saw the pink pony from earlier up ahead, crossing the dirt road. She was suspended above the ground by... by...

"Balloons?" I asked, staring in awe at the strange sight.

To my surprise, Octavia treated it as an everyday thing.

She smiled and greeted the pink pony. “Hey Pinkie-”

She was interrupted by a loud gasp, followed by the pink pony screaming “Run for your life!” as she slowly floated across the street and into a small shop.

Almost on cue, ponies started vanishing inside building after building.

“Why’s everypony rushing inside all of a sudden?” She looked at over at me.

I sighed and hung my head.

“Oh…”

I knew then she understood.

I walked alongside her, staring at the ground.

“I just don’t get these ponies. Why are they afraid of something that they don’t understand?”

She ranted on and on about how stupid they were, but I guess I understood where they were coming from. It’s sad to say that I knew humans would react the same way to ponies.

“Well, whatever. Here we are.”

I looked up. The pony was standing at the door of an old two-story house.

It wasn’t in very good shape, the white paint chipped and the wood slightly rotted.

“Sorry you’re second visit here hasn’t exactly improved on your first.” I guess she saw what happened earlier.

“So… I guess I’ll see you later.” I said, turning to walk away.

To my surprise, a horrified look came over her face.

“Oh, no no no no no!” She said. “You’re staying here for the night!”

Wait, what?

She grabbed me by the collar and pulled me towards the door.

“But we literally just met!” I protested, trying to pull away from her.

Between clenched teeth, I heard her say, “Dhshn’t mtter, Ah cn’t lt a frnd sleep out on da strt!”

“Alright, alright!” I said, no longer resisting.

When we reached the door, she let go of my now stretched out shirt and smiled.

“Good.”

She lifted the old welcome mat in front of the door, and grabbed a key off the ground.

“Now, you’ll have to mind my roommate,” She said, opening the door.

“She’s a DJ, and-”

The pony was quickly silenced by a massive bass drop.

I could only think of two words to describe the music coming from inside.

Holy shit.

Octavia’s face turned red as a voice from inside yelled “Aww yeah!”

“VIIIIINYYYYYYYYYLLLLL!” She screamed as she stormed into the house. I shrugged, following her inside.

When I entered through the doorway, I could see that the inside of the house wasn’t much better than the outside. The white walls of the entranceway were chipped and scratched, the hard wood floor scuffed and stained from age. I followed along the dirty entranceway to a small living room area with a couple worn couches and an old coffee table. The place was littered with song books, records, and album jackets.

I could hear noise coming from the doorway on the opposite side of the room.

I crossed the room, stepping carefully over the debris and entered into the doorway. I found myself in the kitchen with Octavia and another pony leaning by what appeared to be a giant subwoofer embedded into the kitchen counter. This pony was white, with a blue mane and two bridged eighth notes on her sides.

“What in the hay are you doing?” Octavia yelled in fury.

I stood silently behind her, not wanting to face her wrath.

The pony yawned, stretching out her forelegs and crossing them behind her head.

“Cleaning the dishes.”

I sat at the table, slurping down a hot bowl of what Octavia called ‘dandelion soup’.

The two ponies sat on either side of me, staring each other down, their eyes locked.

I put down the bowl, wiping my face with napkin. I decided to ease the tension.

“So…” I began, looking over at the white pony.

“What’s your name?”

She smirked at Octavia, taunting her.

“My name’s Vinyl Scratch, but you can just call me Vinyl.” She said, careful not to loose eye contact.

Alright, there’s a start.

“And you?” She asked.

I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could Octavia blurted out “Alex. His name is Alex.”

I glared at her, but she ignored me.

“He’s a friend,” She said.

Vinyl leaned back in her chair, and let out a loud yawn. “That’s cool I guess, but…” She looked over at me.

“What the heck is he?”

I took a deep breath, only for Octavia to interrupt me again.

“For your information, he is a HU-MAN.” I looked over at Octavia.

“Uh, Octavia, its human, not HU-MAN.”

Vinyl laughed, infuriating Octavia even further.

She shot me an angry look.

“Alright, I’ll shut up.” I said nonchalantly.

She continued her bickering with Vinyl, their words fading into the background as I shut them out. I started to think about what I should do now that I’m here. I guess tomorrow I should try finding out a bit more about this place… “Hey, you two." The ponies looked over at me.

“WHAT?” They shouted in unison.

"I have a question." I expected them to reply, but was met with silence.

“Where the hell am I?”

A smug look came across Vinyl’s face. “You’re in Equestria, dipshit.”

A New Day

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

I groaned, slowly rising out of unconsciousness. Opening my eyes, the bright red numbers of the alarm clock steadily came into view, piercing through the darkness.

5:00 AM, I thought. I haven’t been up this early in years.

I sleepily threw off the old covers, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. Sitting in the darkness, I stared at the blank peeling walls of the guest bedroom, trying to wake up.

Irritated by the beeping, I slammed my fist down upon the noisy alarm clock, shattering the face and effectively silencing the noise.

Morning grogginess settling in, I considered going back to sleep.

These thoughts were silenced though as the old wooden door swung open, blinding me as the morning light flooded through.

“Good moooorniiing!” A light voice sang.

I covered my eyes, grumbling at my intruder.

“Yeah yeah, you too. Shut the door.”

A small pony-shaped silhouette stepped through the doorway, revealing itself to be Octavia. “Come on Alex, we have a busy day today.”

I sighed, rising off the small guest bed. “And what exactly do we have to do?” I asked.

“I’ll explain later, right now you-”

She paused, a look of disgust coming across her face. “Oh my Celestia, You look awful!”

I looked down, immediately able to tell what she meant. I had slept in my dirty tattered clothes, my shirt and pants stuck to my sweaty body. I could feel my greasy hair matted to my head.

The pony raised a hoof to her nose. “I think you should start with a shower.”

“Alright,” I grumbled, slipping past the grey pony, turning down the hall and climbing up the stairs.

As the sound of the creaky steps echoed through the house, I tried remembering where Octavia said the bathroom was last night.

Up the stairs, first door on the right.

Reaching the top, I turned and opened the door, accidentally walking into Vinyl’s room.

Shit, it was the left.

The pony remained unstirred by my disturbance, out cold in the middle of her bed, surrounded by empty cans. I slowly backed out of the room and shut the door, careful not to wake the sleeping mare.

I turned and opened the door behind me, just barely realizing that the doorway was much lower than the other doors. Too late.

My head slammed into the overhang, sending me crashing down like the big stupid ape I was. I sat there for a second in disbelief.

What. The fuck.

I could feel the blood starting to pour from my nose. Dazed, I shook my head and picked myself up off the floor, careful not to slam my head into the low ceiling.

My fall must have been loud enough to wake Vinyl, as the door behind me swung open. I turned around, only to see her standing in the doorway, grimacing at me. “What the heck are you doing?” The groggy-eyed pony asked, giving me a look that could kill a man. I stared back at her, trying to stop the blood pouring from my now broken nose. “I… Uh…” I began.

Like hell I was going to tell her what happened.

To my surprise, a smile broke across the pony’s face.

Shit, too late.

In a matter of seconds the pony was on the ground, laughing uncontrollably. “YOU… FUCKING… IDIOT…” The pony sputtered out, in between fits of laughter and gasps for air. I just sat and stared at her, my face turning a bright red. She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. “You ran into the overhang, didn’t you?”

“N- No I didn’t,” I said.

I turned away from the pony, staying crouched inside the small bathroom. It was, to my surprise, very clean. It was a stark white, the tiles shining from the glow of the dim light overhead. I turned to the sink beside me, checking out my damaged nose in the mirror. It was gruesome, cocked at an awkward angle to the side, my upper lip stained with blood. “It’s not that bad.” I heard Vinyl say. I could see her standing behind me in the mirror, an unconcerned look on her face. I turned on the sink, trying to wash the blood off my face.

“It still hurts like a bitch.”

“Hold still, it’s almost in!” the grey pony fussed, aiming the tissue for my nose. Her reaction to the incident had been the polar opposite of Vinyl’s, sympathy replacing laughter.

“There, finished.”

Looking in the mirror, I could see the tissue sticking out of my nostrils.

I looked silly, but at least I wouldn’t bleed everywhere.

“You should really be more careful.” Octavia said, a concerned look on her face. I rose from the chair, folding my arms around the back of my head nonchalantly. “I don’t think I can die again, so I guess I’ll be fine.” As Octavia followed suit, a curious look came across her.

“What do you mean, ‘die again’?” She asked.

I yawned and moved past her towards the door.

“Forget about it, let’s go.”

“Wait!” She called out as I reached for the doorknob. I turned and looked at her. She trotted towards the closet door to the right of her and opened it.

“First…” She said, reaching inside and pulling out a strange brown suit and black toupee.

“You gotta put this on.”

I sat and stared at the suit.

“No. No no no no no no no.” I turned and hurried towards the door.

I reached for the doorknob, but was yanked back.

Holy crap these ponies are fast.

I struggled as she dragged me towards the door to her bedroom. “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.”

“Heh, I think brown will look good on you,” She said sadistically.

My cries were then silenced by a slam of a door and maniacal laughter.

"Alright, give me your best impression of a donkey," She said, a satisfied look on her face.

“Go fuck yourself,” I replied.

“Close enough.”

Author's Note

It's about fucking time.

-DrSanchez