The Hourglass Always Stays

by Elusive Phoenix

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate, Doctor Whooves, Science Fiction, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Sex, Pipsqueak
Length: 8573

Doctor Whooves (The Doctor) has had a good and long run through time and space with Ditzy Doo. But it is that time again for him to regenerate bodies. But this time, it seems... different... What would happen if The Doctor regenerated... As a mare?

The Doctor has had a good, long run through time and space with Ditzy Doo. But it is that time again for him to regenerate bodies. But this time, it seems... different...
What would happen if The Doctor regenerated... as a mare?

Published 2012-08-23 21:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-05 00:59:13 UTC

"I'm a girl?"

“Well, Equestria saved once again, I’m still a wanted criminal by Celestia, Luna still thinks I’m hot, and escaped capture in the TARDIS. I’d say we’re still alive!” The Doctor bounced around the room happily.

“The part when all the Cyber Ponies fell over was the best!” Ditzy Doo, the Doctor’s assistant, replied with excitement.

“Yes, well, disabling the limbs is quite easy when you have the right keys!” he said as he lifted a keycard out of his jacket pocket. “Alright, back to two thousand and seven, the year Luna was banned. I have a feeling-” he suddenly screamed in pain, and fell to his knees.

“Doctor!” Ditzy rushed to his side.

“No… no…”

“What’s happening Doctor?”

“No, no, NO, NO, NO! I wasn’t finished yet!” He screamed, causing Ditzy to recoil.

“Doctor?”

“This is too early… earlier than usual… why?... Help me up.” Ditzy did as told. The Doctor made his way around the TARDIS controls, pressing buttons, pulling levers, “Derpy, pull that lever, will you?” She did as told.

The Doctor groaned again, putting a hoof on his chest.

“Doctor, really, what’s going on!” Ditzy put her hoof on his shoulder, concerned greatly.

“In a second Ditzy.” He trotted away from Ditzy, and landed the TARDIS landed smoothly (which Ditzy found odd), and the Doctor made his way to the door. “Ditzy, I need you to step outside, and tell me what you see.”

Ditzy complied, and left the TARDIS. “It’s… Ponyville… and we’re… Doctor, what are we doing at my house?”

“I’m so sorry Ditzy. I may, or may not see you again… but you won’t recognize me… But I’ll recognize you…”

“Doctor, what’s going-!”

“I am so, so sorry Ditzy… I’m regenerating…” He closed the door.

“What? Doctor?”

The TARDIS began to fade away.

“DOCTOR!?!?” Ditzy attempted to open the door, but it was locked. She pounded on it, then backed away.

The TARDIS was gone.

“...Doctor?”

“I’m so sorry… so sorry,” the Doctor whispered to himself. He walked over to the TARDIS controls and removed his jacket.

“Just that time again… that horrible time…” He said, and began to glow slightly.

“It happened so fast. Faster than normal. But I can’t stop it. Goodbye… old friend… good run-”

And the cycle continued.

__________

The glow dissipated from the Doctor’s body.

And the TARDIS was on fire. Again.

“Ahh, brand new me! What do we got here!” He pranced around the burning TARDIS, testing his new legs, and making weird shapes with his mouth.

“Huh, my legs feel weird.” Not the “new legs” kind of weird, but “completely unknown feeling” weird. Something is missing. Ears? No, he could hear the TARDIS exploding. Nose? No, he could smell smoke. Wait…

He bent over and looked under his belly, “Am I missing my-” His head came back up, shocked beyond belief. “No! Am I-?” He was able to notice the voice difference over the sound of flying/burning TARDIS. He picked up a slightly cracked mirror off the floor, and stared into it in shock.

“I'M A GIRL?!" The Doctor was now a light blue pony with a mane that looked similar colors to the universally famous 'Colgate', "And still not ginger! Oh, but it seems a unicorn too. Huh, how about that-” An explosion threw the new female Doctor into some nearby railing.

“Note to self: STOP REGENERATING MID-FLIGHT! The regeneration causes radiation fluxes!” she said to herself, and tried to stabilize the small, bigger on the inside, police box, and failed, due to… timey wimey, wibbly wobbly stuff that most ponies wouldn't understand.

“Fasten your seatbelts, we seem to be having a bit of turbulence! Thank you for flying TARDIS airways!” I LOVE it when I make a new line like that! she thought. Or have I said that before? Another explosion rocked the TARDIS. The Doctor flipped a few more switches, pushed a few buttons, and turned a few knobs.
The TARDIS did not yield, and crashed into a nearby house.

__________

Pipsqueak woke from his slumber after hearing a loud crash downstairs. Hoping pirates had accidentally crashed into his house, he hurried down the stairs. But instead of a pirate ship inside his living room, he found a strange blue box laying on the ground, with a sign on the top that said, “Police Public Call Box”.

What is a ‘police box’ doing in my living room? he thought to himself. He walked toward the box cautiously, but the sound of his hoofsteps alerted what was inside, and the side of the box opened…

__________

“*Cough* I really, *cough* need to put some seatbelts in here!” The Doctor said as she climbed across the sideways TARDIS, coughing through the smoke. She reached the doors and opened them, revealing the planet beyond.

Also known as the house of Pipsqueak.

The Doctor waved the smoke out of her vision and walked out onto the wooden floor of the house, coughing in a fit, and fell to her knees.

When she regained her ability to rise, she stood and looked forward.

Meeting the eyes of a seven year old colt…

__________

“Oh! Hello there!” The mysterious mare said to Pipsqueak, “Who are you?”

Pip stood there, his mind buzzing with questions: How did she get here, why is there a box in my living room, why does that box look bigger on the inside?

“Excuse me, but I asked you a question. Who are you?” The blue unicorn said with impatience.

Pip shook his head, “I’m Pipsqueak. Who are you?”

“Well, judging by the trajectory of the sun and the moon," The pony said, looking around the dark room, barely lit by the moonlight, "I’d say I’m The Doctor!”

“Doctor who?”

“Just The Doctor!” The ‘Doctor’ glanced at her flank, “The same cutie mark? Odd… but I’m not complaining… Do you have any celery, I have a sudden craving!” Pip nodded. “Mind if I have some?” Pip shook his head. “Thanks!”

The Doctor trotted to the kitchen, and grabbed multiple stalks of celery and began to chew. Pip followed the odd pony into his kitchen, lit a candle, and asked, “Who… are you?”

“I said, I’m the Doctor!”

“I know, but… what is that box? And why are you in my house eating the celery?” The Doctor halted her chewing and looked at the confused little colt.

“’That box' would be the TARDIS: Time and relative dimension in space. And I am REALLY liking this celery! I used to wear it for poisonous gases, but now I can just eat it whenever I want!” She finished the stalk and placed another one in the side of her mouth.

“I think I’ll go with this look! Nah, I need to be a stallion for that to look cool. And I STILL can’t believe I’m a girl! How is that even possible?” She gasped, dropping the celery on the ground, “It must be something to do with my fast regeneration!” She grabbed the stalk off the floor, replaced it in her mouth, and grabbed Pip by the shoulders, “Any freaky cracks in your wall?”

“Uh, no.”

“Any freaky things? Noises, moving objects, slight amnesia?”

“No?”

“Blast! I need something to test this new body on!”

“New body?”

The Doctor released Pip’s shoulders, “I’m a time lord, I regenerate bodies when I die, and become a new pony! Except this is the first time I’ve been a mare!” She pranced in a circle, “And I’m actually quite liking it!” Then she smiled devilishly, "There might be some things I can do with this..." Then her face changed to disgust, "Actually, never mind..."

“… riiiiiiiiiight. So, umm, why are you still in my house?”

“Oh, sorry, do you own the house?” The Doctor looked at Pip inquisitively.

“Well, no, my dad-”

“As I thought! Speaking of which, where is your father?” The Doctor took the unfinished celery out of her mouth and threw it behind her.

“It’s seven in the morning. He’s at work.”

The Doctor glanced at a nearby clock, “Ah, yes. Work. A normal pony’s Hell.”

“What do you mean by ‘normal pony’?”

“I’m an alien! I’m not a normal pony!" she replied. "But I'm a male alien... so why am I a flippin' girl?” She continued under her breath.

“Point made. What are you doing now?” Pip asked as the Doctor trotted back to the ‘TARDIS’.

“Well, from the last time I regenerated in a flying TARDIS, I’d say I’d have to give it a test run right about…” The TARDIS began to make odd noises, “… Now!” The Doctor dove into the TARDIS, “Umm, what was your name again?” She peeked back out at Pipsqueak.

“Pipsqueak. But most ponies call me Pip.”

“Alright then Pipsqueak! I’ll be back in a few minutes!” The Doctor entered the TARDIS, then poked her head out again, “Or nine years! I’m sorry if it takes that long!”

“Where are you going?”

The Doctor poked her head out again, “I have no idea! ALLONS-Y!!!” The Doctor slammed the doors to the TARDIS, leaving Pip dazed and confused about what just happened.

Then the TARDIS began to fade once more.

“Doctor?” Pip asked.

The TARDIS faded completely.

__________

“I’ve used ‘allons-y’ too many generations! I need another line! Not Geronimo, that was too lame. I need something exciting! Oh! Andiamo! Yes that would work nicely!” The Doctor trotted around the still smoking TARDIS, pushing buttons and pulling levers, “Andiamo! Allons-y in Italian. I like that! Andiamo, assistant! Let’s go, andiamo! Allons-y, geronimo, andiamo! I hope I meet a pony named Andy! But we’re in Equestria, so they don’t really have human names.” The Doctor landed the TARDIS in the in the usual crash-y landing and trotted out the doors.

“Huh. We’re still in the same place!” The Doctor turned toward the TARDIS and stroked the corner, “What’s wrong with you, girl? You know I don’t like being in the same place twice in a row!”

“What are you doing in my house!?” A strong Trottingham yelled behind the Doctor.

She turned to face the owner of the building, “Sorry sir! It seems my box is having some difficulties- Pipsqueak!” The Doctor smiled in recognition of the now fully grown stallion that was once Pipsqueak.

“Do I know you?” The now adult Pipsqueak stood at the center of a stairwell.

“Crap, I did it again, didn’t I? Blasted machine!” She turned back to the TARDIS, “Sorry girl. But please try harder next time!”

“Excuse me?” Pip asked.

“Sorry! I’m the Doctor! Or as some call me: Mister Whooves! And it’s ‘Whooves’ not ‘Hooves’.”

“Rings some kind of bell. But why are you called ‘mister?’ if you’re a mare?”

“Yes, well, regeneration seemed a bit odd this time!” She examined at her legs and flank.

“The bells are ringing, but they all sound dull. Where have I met you?” Pip asked inquisitively.

“Oh, you were, oh, six or seven years old when I saw you the first time.” Pip’s jaw dropped. “Always the recognition reaction!” The Doctor said smiling.

“You just left me there!” Pip trotted from the stairs to the Doctor.

“I said I’d be back in maybe nine years!”

“It’s been twelve!”

“Oh, so that makes you… twenty five, wow!”

“Nineteen.”

“Brilliant!”

“I waited until I was fifteen, and you never showed up! So I eventually forgot about you!”

“Sorry! TARDIS gets a bit carried away sometimes.”

“Seems that way.”

“Pip?” A voice said from upstairs, “What are you doing? Come back to bed!”

“Oh,” The Doctor looked at Pip with a sly smile, “You got a girlfriend?”

“Yeah?” Pip said blushing, “What about it?”

“Nothing!” The Doctor said, continuing to smile.

“Pip, what are you doing?” A mare began to trot down the stairs, but stopped when she reached the center, “I didn’t know we had a guest!”

The Doctor looked over the new mare. A purple-ish gray unicorn with a blond mane. Her cutie mark was seven stars. Her main was frazzled, as if she tossed and turned in her sleep last night.

Then the Doctor looked at Pipsqueak, who had a similar problem with his mane.

Then the Doctor put two and two together.

“Well, it seems my over thinking brain has given me too much information!” Her sly smile returned, wider this time, and she looked between the two of them.

Pip and the mare realized their predicament and brushed their manes down with their hooves.

“Well, who would this nice young lady be?” The Doctor asked.

“Oh,” Pip said, “This is Dinky. She’s my girlfriend.”

“Figured.”

“Nice to meet you, miss…?” Dinky began.

“Whooves. But I prefer to be called ‘The Doctor’.”

“Well, The Doctor it is!”

“Right, well, anypony experiencing any paranormal issues, I’m here to investigate and test my legs!” Dinky was creeped out, and her face showed it.

“Actually,” Pipsqueak spoke up, “Dinky’s been having some trouble sleeping at night, thinking she’s hearing voices!”

“Brilliant!” The Doctor trotted up to Dinky, “Where do the voices come from?”

“I’m fine! No voices in my head!”

“No, they are not in your head. Where are they coming from?”

“My window.”

“Right! Do you live here, or do you live at your own house?”

“Actually, I live with my mom. She’s kind of crazy, so I’m there to keep her in reality!”

“I’m alright with that! I’m great with crazy ponies!”

“Okay, then. Pip, should I trust her?”

“I dunno! I only met her once before, and she did nothing but eat my celery!”

“And it was quite good, in fact! You have every right not to trust me, but even if you don’t, I’ll follow you home in the dark!”

The three ponies remained silent for a moment.

“That came out very awkward, didn’t it?”

“Yes it did.”

“Right, well, may I examine your window?”

“If it makes you not follow me home at night, yeah, sure.”

“Brilliant! Allons- oh, wait… I mean, Andia-”

“Wait,” Dinky interrupted, “What were you saying?”

“Andiamo, but you didn’t let me finish!”

“No, the other thing!”

“Allons-y?”

Dinky gasped, “Did you know him too? Is he actually real?”

“Who?”

“My mom says that she used to ‘travel the stars’ with a pony who said ‘allons-y’!”

The Doctor gulped, “Umm, yeah, he’s real…”

“Wait…” Pip said, “But didn’t you say that before you teleported away in this… blue box?”

The Doctor cleared her throat, “Well, sort of-”

“And you said it was a time… machine…” Pip’s jaw dropped again.

“What?” Dinky asked.

“It flippin' works!” Pip pointed to the TARDIS, “That thing went from when I met her the first time straight to now!” Pip began to bounce around in excitement, then grabbed Dinky by the shoulders, “Do you know what this means, Dinky?”

“No-”

“It means that this mare has a WORKING time machine!”

Now it was Dinky’s turn for her jaw to drop, and Pip stood smiling into her face. When she regained consciousness, she put her hooves on Pip’s shoulders and began to bounce excitedly, “A FREAKIN’ TIME MACHINE!” She began to scream in fangirl-ism.

“Yes, we’re all excited, but can we PLEASE look at your window in the case that I have to save the world?”

She stopped bouncing, “Save the world?”

“You know, possible planet invasion, ghost attacks, out of control A.I.’s, you get the idea.”

“Wait…” Dinky thought for a moment, If she has a time machine, and saves the planet…Mom always went on about how they saved the planet at different points in time, and how he said he was… Dinky gasped, and the Doctor cringed, that he was regenerating his body into a different shape!

“OH CELESTIA!!!” She yelled, recoiling in realization.

“What?” Asked Pip.

“This is the Doctor!” She said, mouth agape.

“Yeah?” Pip said confused.

“THE Doctor!”

“I’m not sure I understand-”

“I am quickly losing interest in your window-” The Doctor said, yawning.

“The pony my mom rambles about was called the Doctor, and that he regenerates his body when he dies!” Dinky grabbed his shoulders.

“So we’re talking to a dead pony?” He asked confused.

“No, he changes his body to continue living, renewing his youth!”

“Only if I don’t die too fast!” The Doctor pointed out.

“THIS is the Doctor?” Pip said, starting to understand the situation.

“Yes!”

“But this is a mare!”

“New body Pip! New body!” Dinky replied in annoyance that her boyfriend couldn't remember what was just said.

“Can I please examine your window now?” The Doctor asked, smiling fakily.

“You have to apologize to my mom first! You just left her on the street!” Dinky pointed at the Doctor in anger.

“I didn’t really know what to do! We were flying, so I had to land somewhere quick, and get her away from me! I panicked! My body isn’t the only thing that changes! My personality and abilities change too!” The Doctor lifted her hoof and examined it, as if to make sure she was, in fact, a different pony.

“What do you mean by ‘abilities’?” Pip asked.

“Well, I seem to be a unicorn now, and correct me if I’m wrong, but I should be able to use magic!”

“Right, you were an Earth pony before…” Dinky looked to the side in thought, recalling the legend her mother had told her.

“WILL SOMEPONY TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON!?!?!?” Pip yelled in anger and confusion.

“Ah, yes. In a nutshell: I’m an alien who took Dinky’s mother on adventures through time and space saving the universe!”

Pip was speechless.

“Right, if we’re all settled, may we PLEASE go check your window for dimension breaking activities?” The Doctor said in annoyance.

"There is no window?"

INTRO SONG

Dinky Doo trotted out of her boyfriend’s front door with an annoyed look on her face, then was followed by another unicorn with a mane the color of toothpaste, and a white earth pony stallion with large brown spots on his head and back.

The unicorn spoke, “Oh, we’re in Ponyville!” She said as she scanned the area, “It hasn’t changed a bit!” She said in excitement.

Dinky talked over her shoulder, “Is it really that hard to say, ‘I’m sorry’?” She said angrily, “It’s been ten years! Going on an adventure, then just leaving her to rot really damages a pony!”

“I panicked!” The Unicorn mare stated, “Which is odd, because I usually don’t…” She paused for a moment, the stallion bumping into her, and rubbed her chin with a hoof, “Which is quite odd, because I don’t usually panic!” She looked at her flank, “Or regenerate as a mare. Whatever made me regenerate must have been controlling my personality for the moment!” Dinky turned her body to face her, but found that the Unicorn and her boyfriend had lagged behind.

“Hey! I’m over here! Not back there in ‘la la’ land!”

The blue unicorn looked back at Dinky, taking her eyes away from her flank, “Ah, yes, sorry. I’m just thinking.” She trotted back to Dinky, and they continued their journey to the ‘Doo’ household.

“Doctor?” The stallion trotted up next to the toothpaste unicorn, “I have to agree with Dinky. Why can’t you just tell her you’re sorry?” He said confusedly.

“It would be too complicated. She’d ask me to take her back with me, or she’d end up turning against us and trying to kill me, or if I told her I couldn’t take her with me, she could hurt herself, or worse.”

Dinky stopped, “What?” She turned to face the Doctor, her expression changed to surprise instead of anger, “She could end up KILLING herself out of knowing she can’t travel through time?”

“It’s never happened before! But I’ve never just stopped and left them on the street. Except that once, but she didn’t go INSANE about it!”

Dinky’s expression changed from surprise to sorrow. “Oh… well… maybe it is best we don’t tell her.” Dinky continued forward, and into the streets of Ponyville with her head hanging.

“So how far away is your home, Dinky?” The Doctor asked.

“A few minutes away.” She said quietly, as if she had just been told her mother was dead NOW.

“Well, I’m sort of excited to see what your window has in store for us!” The stallion said.

“Pipsqueak, I’m not completely sure if there’s anything wrong with her window. But even if there isn’t, my assistants are usually hunted down or kidnapped. USUALLY. But this also puts Dinky in danger.” She said the last part under her breath.

“What?” Pip asked in surprise, also whispering, and leaned his head toward the Doctor.

“My assistants know who I am, and may know where I am,” The Doctor whispered, “therefore proving useful to the forces of evil... and… other things…” The Doctor looked around Ponyville, as if saying, “Don’t ask what I mean by ‘other things’.”

Pip slowed to the back once more, keeping his face straight, but signs of fear showed in his face, thinking of the possible dangers of Dinky being kidnapped.

The trio trotted through Ponyville, one hanging their head, another looking straight ahead with a slightly fearful look, and an over-joyful blue unicorn.

“Are you sure you can’t tell her who you are?” Dinky said, disappointment and sadness across her face as she stood at the door to her house.

“I’m sorry, Dinky,” The Doctor said quietly, “But I just can’t. The only way I’ll tell her is if she’s in danger, and I have to save her. She’d figure it out before I’d say it, though.” The Doctor looked along the walls of the three story building. The last time he had seen it, it had been a wood brown. It was now a vibrant yellow, and the roof seemed to be raised a floor. ‘Things change in time.’ She thought to herself.

Dinky turned the doorknob with her magic, and opened the door to the edited house.

The trio walked into the house. A kitchen, just a fridge, a counter desktop, and an oven, was on the immediate left. Straight ahead was a circle of chairs and couches, and a staircase on the far left of them. A hallway was to the immediate right. There was one door, and the Doctor could clearly pay attention to it.

“Dinky,” She began, “What’s down there?” She pointed down the hallway.

“Bathroom.” She said bluntly, and trotted over to a couch in the center of the room.

‘Of course,’ The Doctor thought, embarrassed, ‘I can clearly see it, and everyone knows it’s there. Nothing weird at all!’

“Mom! I’m home!” Dinky yelled up the staircase.

“Hold on!” The Doctor heard the unmistakable voice of Ditzy Doo. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard, and a grey Pegasus stumbled down the stairs, and looked at her daughter with crossed eyes, “The chairs do not want to cooperate with me!” She said angrily, spread her wings, and shook some dust that had gathered off of her.

“That’s why you let me know if you need help moving things!” Dinky began to trot up the stairs, “I can easily help with my magic!” She said over her shoulder, smiling at her clumsy mother.

“Yeah, well- OH! You didn’t tell me we had guests!” She turned and looked at he Doctor and Pip.

“Hello, miss Doo!” Pip cheered happily.

“Hello, Pipsqueak! How was the party last night?” Ditzy asked the stallion politely.

“It was great!” He said, then blushed slightly as he remembered how it ended.

“Good,” Ditzy turned to the Doctor.

A lump caught in the Doctor’s throat, ‘Uh oh.’

“Hi, Colgate. It’s nice to see you again! I didn’t know you’d be back this early! How was Appaloosa?” She asked her.

Pip gasped in realization, while the Doctor stood confused.

Then she understood, “It was great! The ponies there are amazing! Absolutely brilliant!” She said smiling.

“Great! Now you can help Dinky load these chairs upstairs in the new family room!”

The Doctor swallowed, “Umm, okay! I’ll just, uh, take these then.” The Doctor grabbed a chair by the teeth, and began to drag it.

“Why don’t you just use magic?” Ditzy asked.

‘Oh, crap!’ The Doctor began to panic. Then she had an idea, and let go of the chair, “Being with Earth ponies for so long makes me just want to work like they do! You know, get the feeling that they do from manual labor!”

Ditzy smiled, “That’s what I like about you, Cole! Always trying new things!”

The Doctor smiled back, “I like me too!”

Ditzy laughed, and then had a straight face, “Now get to work.”

"Yes, ma'am!" The Doctor grabbed the chair once more and began to drag it up the stairs…

“Why did I agree to this?” The Doctor complained to Dinky as she dragged the third chair up the stairs.

“Why don’t you just use your magic!” Dinky retorted.

“Because I’m new to being a unicorn!” She whispered in reply, trying not to alarm Ditzy.

“Oh, right.” Dinky said, and levitated another chair into position.

“Why are we here again?” Pip asked as he sat on a couch and took a drink from a juice box.

The Doctor lay on the ground, panting. Dinky replied in her place, “To look at my bedroom window, and will you please stop rubbing it in! And where's Mom?”

Pip stopped drinking, “Rubbing what in? Bow chicka bow wow. And she's over at Carrot's. Something about she needed help with something. I didn't pay much attention to the details.”

“I hate you,” Dinky said, smiling anyway at his dirty joke, "Rubbing in the fact that my Mom didn't make you work!”

Pip turned on his side, “Well, maybe I’m just too sexy to work.”

“Shut up!” Dinky laughed and threw a nearby pillow at him, which he blocked with a hoof.

“Alright!” The Doctor was suddenly standing and bounced around the room until she stood in front of Dinky, “Where is your bedroom?”

“Bow chicka bow wow.” Pip said quietly.

“Shut up!” Dinky threw another pillow at him, “It’s on the third floor. Follow me.” She waved her hoof to follow as she trotted up the second flight of stairs.

“Stairs will be my next greatest nemesis!” The Doctor said as she ascended the devil’s creation, and Pipsqueak followed.

They entered the room, Dinky in front.

She gasped as she stood in the doorway.

“What?” The Doctor asked, and tried to look over Dinky’s shoulder.

“My window is gone!” Dinky ran across the room, which was littered with papers and other trash, and looked along the far wall, rubbing it with her hooves.

“There is no window?” The Doctor said disappointed, “Now I’ll never get an adventure to test this body out first!” She turned to look at her flank.

“I don’t understand!” Dinky frantically scratched at the wall with her hooves, “It can’t just disappear! I know Mom didn’t do it! She would have cleaned my room, or asked me to do it when I got home!” She thought out loud.

“Aliens?” Pip suggested.

“No! It can’t be! Aliens don’t exist!” She continued to search the wall, as if hoping she was just hallucinating.

“Well, you have a pony who claims to be an alien in your room right now.” He pointed to the Doctor.

“We don’t even know if that’s true! For all we know, she’s just as insane as my mother!” Dinky turned to face Pip.

“Well, she literally appeared in my living room, along with a giant blue box, which in no way could have been carried in there! All evidence points to her being an alien!” Pip pointed once again, “Right, Doctor?”

…

“Doctor?” Pip turned to the mare.

She stood there looking her body over, and taking long glances at her flank.

“Doctor?”

She continued to examine herself.

“Doctor!”

“What?” The blue mare looked away from herself, her expression blank, showing absolutely no emotion what-so-ever.

“Where is her window?” Pip asked simply.

“Oh, uh,” the Doctor turned back to herself and murmured, loud enough so they could hear, “Dimensional change. Someone took your window because they knew we were coming.” She continued to stare blankly.

“Wait, somepony just pulled my window out, and a wall grew?” Dinky asked surprised.

The Doctor nodded.

“What are you doing?” Pip asked, curious as to why the Doctor had suddenly stopped caring about the window.

“My body.”

“What about it.”

”I’m a girl.”

“Yeah, what about it?” Dinky asked.

“I’m hot.”

Dinky scrunched her face in a sort of disgust, “What?”

“I’m a girl. I am a hot girl.” She continued to examine herself with a blank expression. She then started to spin, as if chasing her tail, slowly.

“What about my window?” Dinky asked, tilting her head to the side, though her face was still riddled with disgust.

The Doctor’s eyes grew wide, and she looked back to Dinky, “What am I doing! I should be figuring out what happened to your window!”

“You did.” Pip stated blankly.

“I did?”

“You already did. You said that the dimension changed, and that something took her window because it knew we were coming.” Pip replied, motioning his head toward the 'window'.

“Did I?” The Doctor said, surprised, “Well, I need to remember what I figure out more often!” She trotted to the wall that was once apparently a window, and began to examine it, “Yes, there was definitely a window here, the hole is still there, but a wall is slid into place,” The Doctor pushed on the wall, and a small chunk, though large enough for a pony to fit through, fell to the ground on the other side. But the ground was a meter down, “Ah, a portal! I love portals! They’re so… moving!” The unicorn dove through the hole in the wall, leaving the other two ponies with their jaws on the floor. She peeked her head back in a moment later, “Come on! What are you waiting for? Jump in!” She said excitedly.

“The-” Dinky began, “The ground is right there!”

“Yes?” the Doctor said, smiling widely.

“...We’re on the third floor!” Pip replied after Dinky did not answer.

“Correction! You’re on the third floor. I’m somewhere completely different!” She smiled widely, “Brilliant, isn't it?”

Dinky continued to stare, while Pip asked a question, “You want us to go through a portal to another part of Equestria?”

“It could be a different world, mind you.” She stated matter-of-fact-ly.

“Are you insane?!” Dinky yelled, “We don’t even know where it is!” She stood on her front legs, lifting her flank into the air, her eyes bulging.

“That’s the best part of it!” the Doctor replied, turning her head to the side, keeping one eye on Dinky, the walked out of the feild of view from the window.

Dinky turned to her boyfriend, “Come on! You agree with me, right?”

“Dinky,” Pip said, “Life is short, and dull,” He turned to look at Dinky, “Why not make the most of it?” Pip galloped and jumped through the hole.

“Pip!” Dinky called after her boyfriend, “Don’t leave me here alone!” There was no reply, as the Doctor and Pip had run off.

“You are so going to get it!” Dinky jumped through the hole in her wall, embracing the danger and possibilities of this new world.

“Welcome, Dinky, my dear, to the world of adventure!” The Doctor proclaimed as Dinky stared off at the distant land.

She stared at the trees, plants, and animals she could never have even dreamed about.

And some part of her loved it…

The other part wanted to scream in terror...

"That, my dear, is not a good thing..."

The grass was blue, and the sky was green. The freakin’ sky was green.

Dinky looked around the new land that lay before her. A field lay directly in front of her. To her left was a forest. Whose leaves were…white. The trunks were a normal brown. To the right was a cliff. From her angle, it looked like it led to nothing. She figured there was probably land on the other side. In the field, cows grazed, oblivious to the three visitors. Dinky raised an eyebrow. The cows were fine?

Suddenly one grew a tentacle out of its mouth and swallowed another whole. Dinky screamed, and Pip had to calm her down by patting her on the back.

The Doctor, on the other hoof, smiled widely, knowing that Dinky would eventually overcome the stage of fear, and gain one of wonder and amazement.

Pip continued to pat Dinky’s shoulder in a calming gesture, though Dinky sat there screaming, not stopping for breath. Pip asked, “Uh, Doctor? Where are we, exactly?”

The Doctor turned to face Pipsqueak, finished admiring the new world, “Well, judging by the trajectory of the sun and the moon, I’d say… a planet that is not our own!” she muttered under her breath, “and I am liking this blue grass… very nice! Adds an… unknown touch of adventure, and reason, to it!”

Dinky finished her outburst, and stared around the area, wide eyed. Her breathing was heavy, and completely audible.

“Calm down, Dinky! Nothing’s going to happen!” Pip hushed in her ear, “It’s like when you’re a kid! When everything is totally different in your imagination!”

Dinky replied, looking straight into Pip’s eyes, “But this isn’t my imagination!”

“Yes it is!” said the Doctor, “It’s all a dream! You’re just in your bed! You’re fine! You’re invincible here!”

Pip retorted, “No we’re not! This is-” the Doctor pressed up against him, and whispered in his ear,

“If she thinks it’s real, she’ll keep going insane!”

Pip looked at Dinky, who bit her leg, then squeaked in pain. Pip looked at the Doctor, who’s eyes were pleading for him to tell her it was just a dream. Pip looked at the grass, thinking. He had never lied to Dinky, and never wanted to. He always told her the truth.

But desperate times call for desperate measures, “Dinky,” he looked at his girlfriend, who was beginning to cry, thinking she was going insane, “biting your leg doesn’t actually work! The dream only ends when it ends!” Dinky actually seemed to calm down a bit, but tears still streamed from her eyes. Pip continued, “Dinky, this is only a dream! You can do almost anything you want! Almost anything…” Dinky kissed Pipsqueak, and held there, leaning against him. Pip was surprised by the sudden kiss, but went along with it anyway, and closed his eyes to enjoy the moment.

The Doctor giggled. It was nice to see the world still had love in it, while the others were full of death and despair.

Dinky’s lips broke away, so suddenly it caused Pipsqueak to fall on his back. She giggled lightly, smiling, and apologizing.

"Why? Why apologize for that?" Pip asked, confused as to why she would apologize for a kiss.

"Not the kiss, silly! Your flank!" She replied. Her face fell from a smile to seriousness. Dinky looked around at the cows, no longer in fear, but in confusion.

Dinky examined the cows closer, “Why am I dreaming about cows? With super-tongues?” the Doctor shrugged, “… I like this dream... it’s... unique.” She smiled in enjoyment

The Doctor bounded over to Pipsqueak, who still lay on the ground, and hovered her head above his, “Andiamo, Pipsqueak! We have a mystery to solve!” the Doctor bounced a few times to turn around, then began to trot slowly in the direction of the forest. Pipsqueak climbed to his hooves, turning his head to Dinky. She met his gaze, then shrugged. She followed the Doctor as she trotted excitedly toward the forest of white leaves, figuring she'd go along with where the dream led her, excited to see what happened next.

Pipsqueak began to follow, but stopped, and thought, Why are we following her? Why should we follow this ‘Doctor’? What can she do to help us? What do we get in return? He looked around himself, finding the answer around him, Go where you’ve never been, and never will be again. Pipsqueak galloped to catch up with the two unicorn mares…

_________________________________________________________________

“We meet once again! My arch nemesis!” the Doctor glared at her enemy, “You can’t back down now!”

“What are you doing?” Pipsqueak looked at the Doctor inquisitively.

“I’m a unicorn, so I should be able to use magic! Better practice while I can!” the Doctor pointed her horn at the tree, which was known as ‘My Arch Nemesis’. She grunted, and her horn glowed slightly. She grunted again, Dinky and Pip watching in amusement, never realizing how funny it is to see a unicorn who doesn’t know how to use magic. The horn glowed once more, then died out, and the Doctor sat down, panting.

“Well, your horn glows, so that’s good to know!” Dinky joked.

“Happy… day…” the Doctor said between breaths, “whew… why is… magic so tiring?” Dinky shrugged.

“Right… andiamo… yeah…” the Doctor slowly walked away from the tree. She noticed Pip staring at the ground.

“Pipsqueak?” Pip looked at the Doctor, who looked at him worriedly.

“It looks like there’s a trail or something here!” he explained. The Doctor trotted over to him, and followed his gaze. Indeed there was a thin, dirt, trail.

“Great Scott!” Dinky giggled lightly at the reference, “There’s life on this planet!”

“We knew that already.” Pipsqueak stated the obvious.

“Right! Intelligent life!” the Doctor corrected herself.

“Actually, fifty percent of all trails are made by wild animals,” Dinky said, “so it proves nothing.”

The Doctor paused, keeping her eyes on the trail, “… shut up.”

She bounced down the trail, and yelled over her shoulder, “Andiamo, my assistants!”

Dinky and Pip glanced at each other. 'Assistants'? They shrugged, and followed the over-zealous unicorn down the thin, brown dirt, path.

Pip glanced around at the trees, "You know what? These trees remind me of the massive amount of snow we get during the winter!"

"And we care... why?" the Doctor asked impatiently.

Pip looked at the ground in shame. Dinky retorted to the Doctor, "What is wrong with you?! He's just trying to start a conversation!"

The Doctor stopped walking, and frowned, "I'm sorry. My body is in limbo between personalities. It's uncontrollable. Eventually I'll settle on one-" A massive quake shook their hooves.

Dinky stood in confusion, while Pipsqueak shook from the surprise. Dinky asked quietly, "What was that?"

"That,my dear," the Doctor paused in thought, as another quake shook the ground, "Is not a good thing."

"Well, bollocks..."

“Well if it’s not a good thing,” Dinky spoke, her voice shaking in the constant quaking, “that probably means it’s a BAD thing, right?” She stumbled a bit as the next quake shook.

The Doctor leaned over, putting her ear close to the ground, “Probably.” The quake stopped. The Doctor remained close to the ground, her brows furrowed in concentration.

A couple more seconds passed, the three ponies standing still. Pipsqueak glanced around at the white trees, and Dinky braced herself for another quake. The Doctor remained close to the ground.

As the next quake hit, the Doctor tripped in surprise, her face digging into the ground. Dinky remained standing, but shaken nonetheless. Pip hung from a low tree branch in fear. The quake stopped.

The Doctor pulled her face out of the ground, a massive smile on her face, “Ah-ha!”

Dinky recovered from the shock, “What? Do you know what’s causing the quakes?” She stepped toward the Doctor.

The Doctor turned to Dinky, still smiling intensely. If you stared long enough into her eyes, you would honestly think she had gone insane, “It is definitely not natural!”

Dinky tilted her head to the side, the opposite ear falling onto her head, “So somepony is causing the quakes? I don’t think you can mess with the planet’s geography like that-”

“Not some ’pony’. Some ’body’.” The Doctor corrected, “Before the quakes, you can hear an engine start! And when it stops, the sound goes away!”

“So, what?” Dinky asked, “Someone is drilling down into the… planet?”

“No,” the Doctor smiled, then used her hoof to give an example, “They’re drilling UP from the planet.” She launched her hoof upward to emphasize.

A loud ‘thump’ fell behind Dinky, signaling that Pipsqueak had come down from his tree, “Wait-wait-wait,” Pip held up a hoof after recovering from the fall, “So you’re telling me that someone’s drilling UP?”

The Doctor nodded, “True. They must have already lived below the crust, and are coming to see what it’s like up here!”

“So…” Pip tilted his head, “Aliens?”

“Yep!”

Dinky screeched in delight, “Oh, if only this wasn’t a dream! It feels so real! Can we find out where they’ll surface?”

“Let’s see!” The Doctor reached for her jacket pocket to grab the Sonic Screwdriver…

“BOLLOCKS!” She screamed.

“What?” Dinky asked, surprised by the severity of the scream. Pipsqueak had put his hooves to his ears, in the case that everything around him had apparently become ten times louder.

The Doctor facehoofed, “I left the Sonic Screwdriver in the TARDIS!”

“The whatic-what whater now?” Pip and Dinky asked in unison.

“Sonic Screwdriver,” the Doctor said, “Not actually a screwdriver. It uses sonic waves to do... pretty much anything, like scan the ground.” she hoofed the dirt.

"Well," Pip began, "Why don't we just go and grab it?"

"And LEAVE?" the Doctor asked the obvious, "Yeah, let's miss all of the possibilities!"

"Just giving a suggestion-" another earthquake hit, tripping Pip onto his knees.

Dinky remained standing straight, an inquisitive look on her face, "Is it just me, or did that one feel much stronger?"

"We need to know when and where they'll surface." the Doctor said, annoyed at herself for leaving the screwdriver.

"My only hope is that they don't surface under us!" Pip thought out loud.

The three ponies stood still, waiting for the jinx to take affect. They didn't move for an entire thirty seconds.

They finally relax, "For once a jinx didn't work!" the Doctor said joyfully.
The final quake shook, and a few meters behind Pipsqueak the ground seemed to fall away, into a deep pit of darkness. The three ponies stared into the pit.

A few seconds later, a creature that looked almost exactly like a badger emerged from the hole.

Dinky 'daaaaaw'd and the Doctor smiled. Pipsqueak backed away. He'd never been one for small animals.

"Did that little thing make all of that ruckus?" Dinky asked calmly, as if hypnotized by the badger's sheer adorableness.

"No, there must be thousands." the Doctor remained like Dinky, Entranced by the creature before them. It sniffed the ground lightly.

Dinky and the Doctor both 'daaaw'd audibly.

Pip spoke up, "Doctor... You don't really seem like a pony for cute, fuzzy, animals."

"I'm a mare, what do you expect?" she continued to smile at the badger.

Then her face contorted in disgust, "Ew, now I'm actually THINKING like a mare!" Just on queue multiple other badgers began filing out of the hole.

The Doctor and Dinky 'daaaw'd once more, "But they're so darn cute!" the Doctor said, smiling once more.

Pip felt a strange sensation on the back of his neck. He turned, surprised to see four more badgers... staring directly at him.
"Guys?" more badgers came around to his sides, "Guys?" he turned back to the others. Badgers surrounded them on either side. The Doctor and Dinky remained in 'daaaaaw' land. "Guys!" They returned to reality.

Pipsqueak could suddenly see all of the badgers smiling, bareing razor-like teeth.

"This is bad."

One of the badgers pulled a baseball bat seemingly out of nowhere.
The Doctor spoke, "Well... this is an odd predicament." the badger with the bat whacked Pip on the back of his head, knocking him unconscious. "Well, bollocks…" the Doctor felt the impact and nothing else before falling into complete darkness...
__________

The blue unicorn woke up slowly, her eyes refusing to open, and she groaned a bit from the pain on the back of her head. She felt more like she had been sleeping. All she wanted was to go back into darkness.

What happened? Had she just been hit in the back of the head with a BASEBALL BAT by a BADGER?

Her eyes burst open, and realized she was upside down. She seemed to be in a cave, not very well lit, but a few torches lined the walls here and there, at least allowing her to examine major things. Like the strange tower that reached up to the ceiling.

Or ‘floor’ in this case.

Badgers walked around, bipedal, talking, and occasionally throwing glances her way. The Doctor glanced to either side of her. Dinky and Pip were also regaining consciousness, hung by their legs, upside down, by a pole. The Doctor looked at her own legs. They were attached to a pole as well.

“Bollocks.” She said under her breath, frowning heavily.

“Ah, you’re awake!” a voice echoed around her. It seemed to have an almost… Russian accent for lack of a better word, I was wondering when I could speak with you!” A badger passed in front of her, forelegs crossed behind his back, his eyes staring directly at hers.

“Well, I’m up for a talk. A deal to get me out of this would be nice.” She said sarcastically.

The badger smiled, “Ah, you’re the joking bugger of the group!”

“Speaking of joker, maybe the deal could go with a game of poker?” she rhymed. Dinky was now fully awake, watching the spectacle.

“Oh, quite funny!” his face collapsed into a frown, “But let’s get serious here. Why were you on our territory?”

“Oh, why does everything always have to be serious? Serious is so BORING!” The badger unleashed a claw and held it to the Doctor’s neck, “Okay! Serious it is then!” he pulled the claw back.

“Why are you here?”

“Before I answer that question,” she answered, “If we’re being so serious, I’ll come straight out: get me down from here before something bad happens.”

“Oh, but bad things are so exciting!” the badger replied smiling, “I haven’t been in a fight for nearly ten years!”

Okay, she thought, he’s not going for peace. He’s a predator, so he’ll do what he finds necessary.

“Okay, fine. We stumbled through a portal while investigating a strange amount of voices coming from my friend over there,” she nodded to Dinky, “Her wall.”

“Portals don’t exist!” the badger replied angrily.

“Says the bipedal badger on a planet full of cannibal cows.” The Doctor retorted, and then struggled a little, attempting to loosen the ropes. The creature glared down at her, “You came from another planet too. I know, I’ve seen your species before!”

The badger growled, “How?”

“How?” the blue unicorn chuckled, “Because I’m The Doctor.” The badger fell backwards.

“Quick! Throw her over the side!” he demanded the others nearby.

“Sorry!” the Doctor spread her legs apart, snapping the rope. She fell to the ground, then quickly regained her stance. All four legs spread apart and she yelled at the tope of her lungs, “I AM THE DOCTOR, THE LAST REMAINING TIMELORD, AND I…” she paused to breathe, “I AM GOING TO SEND YOU HOME CRYING TO YOUR MOTHERS!” all of the badgers nearby panicked and ran away on all fours.

Dinky called to the Doctor. She hurried to untie Dinky’s ropes, “What did you do to them?” Dinky asked.

“I don’t know, but it was apparently enough to get them running from my NAME!” As the Doctor did the last of the ropes, Dinky fell to the ground. The Doctor moved on to Pip’s ropes. Pipsqueak still seemed unconscious. Until he snored loudly. Dinky chuckled as the stood up, “He was always one fast asleep.” When the Doctor finished with the rope, Pip fell to the ground, knocked into consciousness by the impact.

“What happened? What’d I miss?” he said a little too loudly.

“We were all knocked out by bipedal badgers, and apparently I’m just so amazing they ran away from my sheer awesomeness!” the Doctor explained.

“Huh?”

Dinky answered, “She did something traumatizing to them at some point in her future and their past.”

“Huh?”

“A time machine.” Dinky and the Doctor spoke in unison.

“Oh! That makes more sense.” Pip said, then tilted his head, “Wait, badgers?”

“Yes, now can we go and escape now?” The Doctor said hurriedly. She turned and began a gallop through the cave. Dinky followed. Pipsqueak was beginning to dislike the Doctor. All she did was be a jerk to him, or throw his questions back at his face. But Dinky trusted her. The only reason he was really there was for Dinky. He galloped to catch up with them.

As he reached them, he heard Dinky ask, “Where are we going?”

“Do you see that tower?” she motioned her head toward the large pillar that looked like it held the cave up. Dinky nodded. “Hopefully those have some stairs to get out of here!” The tower loomed overhead, badgers running in the opposite direction of the trio.

When they were about twenty yards away from the tower, a line of badgers, armed with spears, blocked the rest of the path. The three ponies skidded to a halt.

“You thought you would actually be able to get away this time?” the supposed ‘leader’ who had talked to them a moment ago yelled from behind the line, “Not again!”

Badgers flanked Pip and Dinky, grabbing them around their necks, their claws ready to tear their throats out.

“Doctor!” Dinky yelled before the badger threatened her more by pushing his claw slightly more into her neck.

The Doctor spun and saw her companions trapped. Oh, not this again.

“Let them go!” she yelled.

“Why?” the badgers around their necks hissed.

“Take me instead!” the Doctor said.

“No.” Dinky mouthed.

“Unfair. One pony for two? No. You get one. Choose!”

Freakin’ knew it.

Pip spoke out, “Let Dinky go!” he was quickly put back in line from a scratch to the chin.

“Choose!” the badgers pushed.

Dinky remained silent, her eyes showing sadness and fear.

The Doctor made her decision, “Dinky.” Dinky shook her head, and Pip mouthed a ‘thank you’.

“Done!” the badgers slapped a collar onto her neck.

“What’s that?” the Doctor asked.

“Time collar: randomly generates a time jump! We’re letting her go! Somewhere!” They laughed maniacally.

“No!” Pip screeched.

“Yes!” they pressed a button on the collar. Dinky began to gain a light blue aura.

“Pip?” she asked quietly.

“Dinky!” he threw the badger off of his back and dove toward his love…

Right as she flashed a brilliant blue, and disappeared. Pipsqueak hit the ground hard, “DINKY!”

The Doctor was speechless. For more than one reason.

“Where did you get that technology?” She asked angrily.

“You, of course!” the Doctor lowered her head.

“I thought so.”

“Take them to the pit. We’re throwing them in immediately.” The leader said, and they dragged the two ponies away, away from the pit…

And away from where Dinky had been.

“Dinky…” Pip whispered, crying, allowing the badgers to drag him by the legs.

“Dinky Doo… the daughter of my first pony assistant… what will Ditzy think?”

The two ponies allowed themselves to be dragged to their doom…