Dressing The Part

by Future Regret

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 2158

Fluttershy loves her new authentic leather jacket, Rarity less so.

Fluttershy might know a thing or two about stitching, but not so much the process in which certain exotic clothing materials are procured outside of Equestria's vegetarian borders. Rarity doesn't have that luxury.

Now in audio form, thanks to FireRain. Not only do I appreciate the time he put in, but honestly he does a really good job of conveying the characters in dialog. I get a kick when people just read my stuff, so this made my day. Thanks again, friend.

Published 2020-05-13 20:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-13 20:00:02 UTC

Bliss

The sun had just begun to crawl up from underneath the horizon, bathing Equestria in its warm rays. The light cascaded over the treetops of the Everfree Forest, casting a long shadow that crept all the way up to the stoop of a cottage.

In the cool morning air, Derpy idled, zig zagging as she struggled to wrangle her eyes on the receiving address while at the same time maintaining her elevation. She strained harder and for a single second of clear vision saw that the package in her saddle bag was for Fluttershy.

“AHA!” Derpy beamed, only to look up and see that she was plummeting into the shrubbery that gathered beneath one of the cottage’s windows. “Oof.” Furry critters dashed out of the hedge and screeched at her in fury. She bore a sheepish smile at them and they turned away in indignance. Her posture deflated, but she still shuffled her way to the door, knocking on the wood three times.

There was a cacophony of claws scratching across the floor and the disgruntled chirps of oversleeping songbirds. The door creaked open an inch, and the mail pony held a pen in her mouth expectantly, but there was nopony there. Confused, one eye drifted downwards, where it spotted a scowling rabbit. Derpy mustered as cheery a smile as the writing utensil would allow.

“Hello, thir. Can you thine for thif packeth?” Spit launched from her mouth. The bunny threw the door shut in her face, causing her muzzle sag into a frown as the echoes of the slam finished reverberating through her skull. The door began to move again and the pegasus hastily resurrected the beaming customer-friendly expression that had shattered moments ago, hoping it would mask the irritated look in her eyes. Fluttershy emerged in the doorway.

“Angel!” She said in a stern voice that was still as quiet as a whisper. A few birds flew out of her frazzled and tangled mane. The bunny folded his arms, hopped further into the cottage, then turned around to give the mail pony one last look. He let his eyes drift around out of sync, then - with a mute snicker - hopped out of sight. The pen in her mouth began to groan under the weight of her grinding teeth, and she forced herself to exhale “That is not how we treat our guests. You apologize to Miss Hooves this instant.” Fluttershy looked down, around, and underneath herself, but the rabbit was gone. A nervous, thin grin spread across her face. “I’m so sorry about him, he’s just been a little cranky since… uhm… since...”

While Fluttershy rummaged around in her brain for an excuse, Derpy had set the pen aside and was digging in her mail bag. Pulling out a brown package, she sat back on her haunches and held it out towards Fluttershy. The pegasus kept stammering until she noticed the box in her face.

“Package for you, from Griffonstone.” Derpy’s voice chirped, bubbling artificially. She was painfully mining a chunk of enthusiasm deep in her soul to keep the chipper facade up until the end of the transaction.

“It’s here!” Fluttershy gasped, taking the package and rocking it against her chest in elation. “It’s finally here.” She inhaled deeply and contently, then saw the mail pony’s eyes spinning around in their sockets dully, a clipboard hanging out of her mouth, and the pen in an outstretched hoof.

“Sorry,” Fluttershy gulped, tossing her head in a masterful way so that her long, pink locks covered most of her face like stage curtains, while at the same time leaving a space in between them to take the pen in her mouth and sign the paper. Derpy’s strained smile flickered. She put the pen and the clipboard back into her bags and took off. Nearly veering into a tree, she leveled out and soared away into the open sky.

Fluttershy didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until the pegasus was off the property without incident. The air deflated out of her and she shut the door, turning to the package. Angel reappeared as she tore the brown paper apart like a ravenous beast. A shred fell onto his face, but he didn’t break his stare of irritation and disgust.

“It’s about time that I became more assertive, so I went out and got the most assertive clothing on the continent. Nopony is as confident as the griffins.” She reached into the garbage and pulled out a shiny, black, leather jacket with her mouth, showing it to the curious crowd of animal onlookers beside her.

They froze, save for their jaws, which dropped in unison, and they began to quiver in fear as Fluttershy donned the gleaming jacket. Angel, with his ears sagging and tears budding, covered his mouth and was petrified as the rest of the animals scurried past him and out of the room. Fluttershy had finally finished battling the stiff clothing in time to see the tails of the slowest terrified creatures vanishing from sight. She turned to Angel in confusion.

“Angel? What’s wrong?” Her hooves scooped him up and held him. The bunny opened his mouth but nothing came out, his unblinking eyes locked on her lapel. He just shook and hyperventilated under the pegasus’ puzzled gaze. Squirming out of her grip and dropping to the floor, he darted out of sight.

“Oh my, this really is intimidating.” Her face contorted between an expression of worry and of satisfaction, settling into a slight smile as she looked back down at the jacket. The highlights and shades created beautiful, shifting contrasts as she moved in the morning sun. “I really must show Rarity, she would love this.”

She finished doing her morning chores, leaving food around and cleaning up for the cowering animals. Trotting out the door and shutting it behind her, she walked towards the heart of Ponyville. Normally, the slow pace would have suited her, but she was just so excited to reap the local fashionista’s praise that she ended up taking to the sky.

Even in the chilly dawn’s atmosphere, the combination of the climbing sun and the wind-resistant jacket protecting her skin made her feel comfortable. An unconscious smile broke across her face as she glided down to the front steps of Carousel Boutique. “Now, now, Fluttershy, don’t try to make her too jealous. We wouldn’t want to bother Twilight with another friendship problem,” she said, giggling as she touched down.

Fluttershy licked her hoof, polishing up parts of the jacket, and patted her windswept mane back into position. Fighting her grin from widening any further, she closed her eyes and exhaled to compose herself. Her body relaxed and she went to knock on the door softly. She stopped, shaking her head, and gave three sharp, confident raps, splitting the otherwise peaceful silence of the morning.

Rarity groaned from inside the boutique, turning over in her bed. “Mnnnghhuh? What was that? Mmm, I must have dreamt it. How horrid.” She began to drift back into a doze when another knock resounded through the building. Her sleep deprived eyes snapped wide open, revealing bloodshot veins that complemented the purple bags that hung under them. “Oh, sweet Celestia, why at this ungodly hour would somepony be knocking at my door? Please, have mercy and spare me just five more minutes of sleep.” She rolled over, covering her ears with a pillow, choking on ugly dry sobs. “Why me, WHY?”

Sniffling, she took a deep breath, composing herself. “No, no, this won’t do, you have a customer. You must simply go out there and face them, as a professional. And a lady.” She pulled herself out of the bed and into the kitchen, quickly warming up some old coffee in a mug. Shuffling towards the front of the boutique, she banged her hoof on a dress rack. She murmured a few muffled curses before one final shamble to the door and twisting the knob.

A disheveled Rarity emerged from behind the door, levitating the mug. She had a magenta eye mask resting above her horn that matched the violet bags sagging below her eyes. Eyes watering, he stretched her cheek muscles to tighten up a smile. “Ohhhh... Fluttershy... how lovely of you to visit so early in the morning,” She wiped her face, sipped, and looked up at the pegasus. “Perhaps you could-”

Rarity’s eyes bulged and the coffee fell to the ground, sending scalding black fluid flying in multiple directions. Fluttershy ducked as Rarity spewed the drink out of her mouth, fell back onto her haunches, and skittered her way backwards until she hit a wall. She flew over to Rarity’s side and wrapped a wing around her, and Rarity’s pupils shrunk and her muzzle twisted in disgust as the jacket pressed against her.

“Oh goodness, are you alright? What’s wrong, Rarity?”

“F-F-Fluttershy?” The words barely came out of her as she struggled to pull away from the jacket.

“Shhhh, yes, Rarity, it’s me. You’re okay,” she said as she pulled Rarity tighter into her loving embrace, causing the unicorn’s cheeks to bulge.

“FLUTTERSHY!” Rarity gasped. The wing hug loosened out of the shock and Rarity fell away from her, scrambling, seething. “What in Equestria are you wearing?”

“Uhm…” Fluttershy’s rigid posture began to crumble as tears welled below her eyes, on the precipice of drizzling down her cheeks. She sniffled, confused and devastated. “My new jacket?” She bit her lip, shaking as the stifled sobs racked her insides.

Rarity couldn’t help but soften her tone out of pity. “And what, darling, is the material?”

“‘Leether?’ ‘L-Layther?’ I - I don’t really know how to say it...” Her cracked composure shattered, choked whimpers spilling out of her. Snot and tears dripped on the jacket and her forelimbs as she covered her face. “I - I don’t know what I did but I’m SOOOOOORRRRRRYYY!”

Rarity got up and consoled her in the same way one would comfort a leper. “There, there,” She said, lightly and reluctantly patting her around the leather jacket. The sobbing had broken down into incomprehensible gasps for air. “Just take that horrid thing off when you can and bathe yourself in the upstairs restroom.”

Fluttershy gathered herself enough to nod and slinked her way up the stairs, shuddering and shedding the jacket as she went. Rarity wretched as she levitated it off of the ground, allowing it no closer than five feet away from her. She put it into the kitchen trash, covering it with pieces of the shattered mug and the filthy rags she used to clean the coffee, mucus, and tears from off of the floor. Taking the bag out, she went out to the boutique's dumpster, hesitated, then went to a neighboring establishment’s and tossed the bag in. When she returned, Fluttershy was waiting at the top of the stairs, her ragged face far more battered than Rarity’s sleep-deprived one.

“Rarity?”

“Just a moment, darling!” She said, trying to muster as much of a bright attitude as she could before walking out of eyesight. Her expression sunk into a grave one as she pulled out her fainting couch, then upon further consideration, grabbed a bucket from the utility closet. “All ready for you, dear!”

Fluttershy slowly descended the stairs, and obediently followed Rarity’s gestures to the couch. The unicorn could feel her muscles cramping as she strained to maintain a smile.

“I’m so terribly sorry how I reacted, Fluttershy.” The turquoise eyes began to dance with moisture. “It’s not your fault.”

The moisture kept building. The corners of Rarity's mouth wavered from exertion.

“I - It’s not?”

“No, darling, it was the jacket”

“I don’t understand…”

“Leather is...” Rarity exhaled. She proactively lifted the bucket with her magic, tilting towards Fluttershy. She locked gazes with the pegasus, one pair of eyes filled with painful truth and the other pair filled with painful ignorance. She gulped. “The dried skin of animals.”

Fluttershy shot up, her eyes wide with terror, and the bucket shadowed the movement. She opened her mouth, and Rarity hid behind the pail. She closed her eyes and winced as the sounds of horrified vomit reverberated into the bucket and jostled it in her magical grip. The flood finally began to slow down and Rarity peeked from behind the half-empty container.

“This is going to be a friendship problem, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy answered with a catatonic stare.

“...I shall fetch Twilight.”

Author's Note

Hey. I have to retype this because I screwed up. Yay. As always, I love any form of critique or correction, so throw em in the comments. Check out "UGH!" if you really want to make my day. I think it's a bit better than this one, personally. Check out "Dust" if you are filled with self-loathing.

Probably going to be my last story due to technical difficulties. For a while, anyway.

Anyway, stay safe, all.