Chaos and Madness

by The Sleepless Beholder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis
Length: 3147

Chrysalis was living a quiet life in the middle of the forest, slowly losing her mind in peace. At least, until Discord started visiting her from time to time, annoying her to no end. But today, he has an offer for her

Chrysalis had been in exile for some time now, and had found a quiet life in the forest, talking to herself and to wooden replicas of her subjects and enemies.
But her crazed peace was interrupted when Discord started visiting her lair, annoying her with questions and tricks that according to him, were to amuse her, but looked more like he was just mocking her.
But today is different.

Today he brings an offer to her.

From one villain to another.

My first entry for the May 2020 Pairing Contest

Featured on the 5/5/2020 yay!

Reviewed by QueenChrysalisForever: Review

Published 2020-05-04 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-04 17:40:01 UTC

A Chaotic Partnership

“WHY WON’T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!” Chrysalis screamed in blind rage as she fired blast after blast at her intruder.
She was perfectly fine, alone in the dark forest, talking to wooden versions of her traitorous subjects and making plans to conquer Equestria that deep down knew she no longer had the will to try them since the mean six incident, but she constantly lied to herself of the contrary.
However, since almost a month alone she had a constant visitor, or pest as she described it, arriving at her lair to annoy her.

“You know, your aim has been getting better. You could thank me for all the practice I’m giving you,” Discord said while casually teleporting or dodging the magic blasts and munching on some chips from a bag in his claws.

“I would only be thankful if you would just leave and never came back!”

“Oh, but that would be boring. Do really prefer to be here all alone?”

“I am not alone!” Chrysalis pointed to the wood carvings of her subjects.

Discord gave a sad sigh. “Oh, how the mighty Queen Chrysalis has fallen.”

Chrysalis pointed an accusatory hoof at the chaos spirit. “You are one to talk. You let those pony’s friendship corrupt you. Turning you into a shadow of your former mighty self.”

“Excuse me?” Discord said with an offended tone. “I still have all my might; I just chose to not use it.” He snapped his fingers, giving life to Chrysalis “subjects” as proof of his words.

“You could just snap your fingers and Equestria would be yours.”

“Yes, and then I would be turned to stone again. What’s stopping you? You almost took over with just your wits and an army that I’m sure you could gather with enough time.”

“Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer would just use their friendship to cheat to victory.”

Discord sneezed a bunch of butterflies. “Sorry, I’m allergic to lame excuses.”

“You are just afraid of the elements of harmony!” Chrysalis screamed while pointing a hoof at him, trembling with rage.

“No, I’m not.”

“Oh right, excuse me.” Chrysalis transformed into Fluttershy. “You are just afraid to hurt my little pathetic feelings,” she said in a mocking tone while giving him puppy eyes. “You wouldn’t want to hurt our loving relationship,” she added this time with bedroom eyes.

Discord gave a smirk. “Oh, please continue. I never had the chance to see Fluttershy like this.”

Chrysalis recoiled and turned back to normal.

The chaos spirit made disapproving sound. “You are no fun. Relax, eat some chips.” He extended her arm to her, but Chrysalis swatted him away.

“If I’m not fun, and you only seek to amuse yourself, why are you here?”

Discord’s smile banished and threw away his bag of chips. “You want an honest answer?”

“It would be a start.”

Discord stretched his face with his claws in a show of frustration. “I’m just so bored of being the only reformed villain.”

Chrysalis looked at him confused. “Isn’t Starlight Glimmer also a former villain?”

Discord made a raspberry. “Oh, she doesn’t count. She’s one of those ‘oh, I’m just misunderstood’ type of villains. Besides, she’s too attached to Twilight to be of any fun. She does cause a little chaos now and then, but then she always feels sorry for it and blah blah blah.”

For the first time, Chrysalis looked at the draconequus without the usual rage, but with more curiosity.

“But you,” Discord put an arm over Chrysalis shoulders and booped her in the nose. “You are a full-fledged villain. No matter how horrible or detrimental to yourself your actions may be, you are never sorry and hold everyone other than yourself responsible.”

“I’m not sure if you are complimenting me or insulting me right now.”

“Oh, every insult is a compliment with the right mindset. But back to my answer, I would love to have your help in bringing a little bit of genuine chaos to Equestria.”

Chrysalis seemed to be considering the proposal.

“With my powers and your wits, we would make the perfect team.”

The changeling queen pushed the draconequus apart. “I knew it! You are just trying to tempt me into friendship!”

Discord looked unamused. “Why would I do that? That’s Twilight’s thing.”

“And you are her pet. Her and her friends own you like a dog!”

Discord looked at her menacingly. “They don’t own me.”

Chrysalis did the same. “Prove it.”

“Very well. What do you want me to do to?”

Chrysalis took the form of Fluttershy again. “Use your magic to make my little feelings hurt.” She added the bedroom eyes to try and tempt him, but it didn’t seem to work.

“No deal.” He crossed his arms. “She’s off limits. I won’t harm her directly.”

“Then the conversation is over.” Declared Chrysalis, turning back to normal and walking towards her cave.

“Really? I give you the chance to affect Equestria in any way without repercussions and you just brush it off? Don’t you want to at least do a little prank on Twilight or Starlight?”

Chrysalis stopped for a moment, and then put a hoof under her chin, thinking. “Well, now that you mention it.”

Twilight gave a heavy sigh as she enters her library, ready to have a little time to unwind with a good book.

“Good morning Twilight, I have just finished organizing the books, I hope you like it this time.”

“Thanks Starlight, and of course I like how you organize my books.” She gave her a big, lying smile.

Twilight picked a book from the bookshelf; the title reading: ‘The 101 spells and magical secrets of Clover the Clever.’
She sat at one of the tables and opened the book to start reading but stopped after a couple of lines and re-read the title of the chapter.

“’Grandma Cookhill’s three bowl bread’?”

Starlight looked at her with an exited face. “Oh, are you reading about her banana bread recipe? I tried it; it was pretty good.”

Twilight ignored her and pulled another book, this one about mathematical theorems, and as she read the pages, found gardening advice.
She continued to pull books one after another, her OCD worsening with each one.

Starlight looked at her with worry in her eyes. “Twilight, are you okay?”

“Did you use magic to organize the books?!” she snapped at her.

Starlight took a few steps back and answered nervously. “Yes...?”

“Why does every book have a cover completely unrelated to the content inside?!” she screamed.

“What?” Starlight looked at the books, her eyes opening in horror.

She looked at Twilight, then the books, then back at Twilight.
Then bolted to the doors, her mentor giving chase.

Chrysalis and Discord laughed out loud, having been seeing everything from a magic crystal ball that the draconequus had summoned.

“Oh, that was great,” Chrysalis admitted while whipping some tears of joy.

“See? I told you we would make a good chaos team.”

Chrysalis regained her composure and went back to her usual sour attitude. “We are still not friends.”

Discord gave a frustrated sigh. “If you insist. How about partners in crime?”

“That can be… tolerated.”

“It’s official then.” He offered his paw to Chrysalis, and she shook it.

“Now, I have another idea to-”

“Hold you bug-horses, queen. My powers aren’t free.”

“What? But you said-”

“For this partnership to flourish, you need to give something too.”

“Like what? I don’t have anything!”

“Exactly, I want to change that.”

Discord pointed to the cave, and Chrysalis now realized that the wooden subjects that he had animated to life where cleaning her lair.

“I say we first go buy you some furniture, so you stop sleeping in rocks.”

“And how would I pay for such luxuries?”

Discord snapped his fingers and a heavy bag of bits hit the floor.

“Ok, new question. Why not simply spawn the furniture and call it a day?”

“Because, you need to get out more.”

Chrysalis recoiled at his words. “Are you… giving me life advice?”

Discord gave an exasperated sigh. “I just don’t want you to lose your mind more than you already have. You will be useless to me otherwise.”

“I’m not losing my- okay maybe a little- yeah you are right.” Chrysalis looked a little defeated as she finished.

“Just do a little shopping and we can have our fun.”

“Fine.” Chrysalis changed herself into a unicorn mare with dark-green coat and braided black mane. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Why, from all of the places in Equestria, you brought me here?” Chrysalis whispered angrily while they walked the streets of Ponyville.

“Oh relax, no one will notice us.”

“Yeah, because the lord of chaos walking among ponies is not something that calls attention.” She whispered a little more loudly as she saw ponies giving them weird looks.

“Aren’t you a master of infiltration and impersonation? You should be a natural at this.”

“I am excellent in my work, but I make no promises if we bump into Sparkle or Starlight.”

They continued their march until the found a Ponkia.
They entered the establishment, taking a walk between the aisles and looking at the merchandise.
Chrysalis found a royal bed and tested the mattress, feeling her hooves sink slightly, making her wish to just lay on it right now.

“This is indeed a bed worthy of a queen,” she declared.

“Uhm… thanks,” a stallion employee got closer to them, clearly nervous as he glanced at Discord from time to time.

“I wish to acquire this bed.”

“And some other stuff.” Discord added.

The employee forced a smile. “S-sure thing, I can show you our catalog, or I could just leave you alone. I wouldn’t want to… uh… disturb your buying experience.”

Chrysalis smiled with malice. “Oh, I would love a full tour, sometimes I just can’t made up my mind without someone to talk to me about their products.”

Discord got closer to the poor employee, almost whispering in his ear. “I’m sure you will do a great job helping my friend with her purchase. We won’t have any problems, right?”

The stallion was sweating bullets. “O-of course not! We wouldn’t want to anger yo- our boss.”

He guided them to a nice wooden wardrobe.

“If you have a thing for fashion and dresses, this high quality and beautifully carved wood wardrobe will keep them safe and organized. It can store up to 40 dresses.” The employee talked in an almost robotic tone; his speech clearly practiced to exhaustion.

“Hmm… I’m not sure.” Chrysalis looked at Discord and gave a discreet wink.

The draconequus smiled and discreetly snapped his fingers while her partner approached the wooden furniture.
She looked at it closely, gave it a little push, and one of the legs fell apart, making it fall against the floor with a heavy thump, one corner splintering on impact, sending pieces of wood everywhere.

The stallion looked in horror at the scene.

“So, this is what you consider as high quality wood?” Chrysalis spat angrily, sending the stallion into a panic.

“N-no, of course not. T-this must be just a faulty model they sent us by mistake!”

Discord got in front of the stallion’s face. “Faulty model? By mistake? You are either scamming us or you clearly lack professionalism. What would the princess of friendship think if she were to make a surprise inspection?”

The employee turned completely pale, seeing his paycheck banishing in flames. “W-we have better products; you don’t need to worry. T-this faulty wardrove will be forgotten after you see our newer models!”

“Well? get on with it then,” Discord exclaimed impatiently.

“R-right. This way!”

Chrysalis and Discord shared a giggle as they followed the stallion.

After a few more purchases and two more ‘accidents’, Chrysalis was levitating her new furniture out of the building with a smile on her face.

“You have quite the horn,” Discord praised.

“Years of experience. I could go toe to toe with Sparkle if she didn’t cheat with friendship.”

“Oh, if it happens, I want front row seats.”

Once Chrysalis was finished, Discord snapped his fingers, sending the furniture into a pocket dimension.

“So, what was your idea for a little chaos?”

Chrysalis smiled deviously. “Oh, I think you will love this.”

It was a normal day in Ponyville.
Everypony was walking around town, making their shopping, tending to their business, or simply chatting while enjoying good food, but suddenly, something interrupted the normal routine.

My name is Pinkie Pie (hello!) And I’m here to say (how ya doing?) I’m gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day…

The song came for what sounded like a music box or recording, but nevertheless, the ponies smiled at the memories and started to chime in, forming a happy chorus that spread joy to the town.

*30 minutes later*

It doesn’t matter now (What’s up?) If your sad or blue (Howdy!) Cause cheering up my friends it’s just what Pinkie’s here to do…

The ponies of Ponyville had stopped their singing, having taken it out of their system, and simply enjoyed the music, although some wondered if it was some sort of event that Pinkie was preparing, but the pink pony denied it.

*1 hour later*

Cause I love to make you smile smile smile. Yes I do! It feels my heart with sunshine all the while. Yes it does!

The cheery joy of the song had almost completely faded form the ponies, and some started to get annoyed form what appeared to be some sort of prank. There were more questions for Pinkie, who still declared to be oblivious as to where the song was coming from or who was playing it.

*8 hours later*

Cause all I really need’s a smile smile smile. From this happy friends of mine!

Ponyville was in chaos.
Ponies roamed the streets armed with hammers, wooden clubs, pieces of rebar and sledgehammers, looking desperately for the source of the cursed song.
Some ponies were tearing away their floorboards to search them, while pegasus looked from the sky in search for any clue of the origin of the song.
The streets where littered with broken music boxes and any instrument that could perform any kind of sound.
Pinkie Pie had been gaged and tied to a stake, and her friends were desperately trying to prevent the angry townsfolk from burning her like a witch.

Suddenly a dark-green coated and black haired pegasus shouted from the sky.

“It’s coming from Twilight’s castle!”

The angry mob ran towards the crystalline structure, hitting a magic barrier in their way.
Twilight, ears covered in wax, tried to calm things down, but the mob was relentlessly bashing at her shield, trying desperately to pass through and silence the cursed song.

“come on and smile! Come on and smile! ...”

“…”

Silence.
Blessed silence.

A sigh of relief swept through Ponyville, extinguishing the anger of the townsfolk.
They untied Pinkie, giving their apologies, and the crowd started to disperse so they could start cleaning and repairing the damages.
Twilight collapsed in front of the door to her castle, relived that the nightmare was ov-

“My name is Pinkie Pie (hello!) And I’m here to say…”

Twilight had to teleport away as the re-angered mob of ponies charged into the castle, taking down the crystal doors with them.
They started to tear the place apart, destroying the thrones and walls to look for the source of their suffering.

Twilight watched in horror as the mob slowly but surely destroyed her home.

Suddenly, a huge explosion destroyed the top half of the castle, and the song abruptly stopped.

“WE ARE FINALLY FREE!”

Came the voice of Starlight from the burning ruins.

Discord and Chrysalis laughed until their belly’s hurt, their throats sore and faces covered in tears.

“Oh, this is the best,” Chrysalis exclaimed, slowly regaining her composure.

Discord was about to respond, but suddenly snapped his fingers, summoning a mantle and a filled tea set and half consumed sweets.
Chrysalis took position, and not a second later, Twilight teleported on their location, her mane about to catch on fire.

“DISCORD! I KNOW THAT YOU- wait, what’s happening?” she asked confused as she looked at the tea party in progress.

“Oh Twilight, I was just hanging out with my new friend.”

Chrysalis gave a little wave. “Hi, I’m Polymer.”

“You have… friends?”

“Of course I have friends. You have seen me with Spike and Big Mac.”

“Yeah but… female friends?”

“Oh, please Twilight, I can have more friends other than Fluttershy.”

“You were about to throw Tree Hugger into another reality out of jealousy.”

Discord spit out his tea, and Polymer looked at him confused. “What is she talking about?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, she’s just exaggerating an old story.” He gave her a smile while another face appeared on his back, looking angrily at Twilight. “Thanks for embarrassing me in front of my new friend, princess.”

Twilight took a step back, face full of guilt. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I will leave you be. I need to… asses the damages.”

When Twilight teleported away, both villains shared another hearty laugh.

“This has been the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” Chrysalis admitted.

“I share the feeling.”

They gave a toast and sipped their tea with a smile.

“Well, I think is time to return you to your lair,” announced Discord, snapping his fingers, and they found themselves back in the forest.
The wooden changelings had finished cleaning, and they were now standing guard along the perimeter of the lair.
Discord snapped his fingers and all the furniture that they bought placed itself in Chrysalis cave.

“We should give them a week or two to recuperate, then we can do another bit of chaos.”

Chrysalis smiled as she thought of the possibilities. “Very well, I will be waiting for your return. By the way, could we also play in the Crystal Empire? I would like to give Cadence a little bit of bother.”

“Of course. As long as it doesn’t involve Fluttershy, everypony is at our mercy.”

With that, Discord teleported away, and Chrysalis walked towards her new bed.
She threw herself on it, feeling her bones crack pleasantly at the new sleeping surface.
She quickly fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Today had been a good day after all.

Author's Note

Ahh don't you love it when people get together in they shared pleasure for a world burning in flames?

“’Grandma Cookhill’s three bowl bread’?”

Starlight looked at her with an exited face. “Oh, are you reading about her banana bread recipe? I tried it; it was pretty good.”

Whoever get's this reference get's a cookie and headpats.

I will be watching you.