Hero for Fun - The Hero from Nowhere

by Legacy-patient

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure, Human, Original Character, Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 6286

A boy finds himself going to Canterlot High School after waking up in a different world and soon, he learns he has obtained the powers of Saitama.

This is a remake of Hero for Fun by Georgdoza

Georg Filipe Mendoza was living everyday life as per normal, until an eventful trip to a costume convention. After purchasing himself a pair of Saitama replica gloves, he finds himself in Equestria and eventually, the human world from Equestria Girls, plus, he somehow gained all of Saitama's powers, at the cost of something great.

He meets Rainbow Dash and the girls and learns to acclimatize to a new life in a new world, at the same time, protecting it from monsters that threaten to end his new home. Having zero hero background, Georg has to learn what it takes to be a hero before he can become the unassuming hero from nowhere.

I was asked by Georgdoza to try out a remake for his story and so here is my attempt. I do hope I'm doing this story justice. While it doesn't have the best of grammar, the idea of it surely is interesting and entertaining enough. Do let me know what you think!

PS, I added the subtitle so they can be told apart.

Published 2020-05-12 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-21 15:22:21 UTC

Chapter 1: A (Small) Price to Pay

“RAAARGH ALL YOU HUMANS WILL DIE BY MY HANDS!” I heard a booming voice announce itself after the next explosion launched a red sports car past me. “JUST TRY AND STOP ME!”

I flipped my cape aside and raised a red-gloved fist as I got closer to the monster ahead. Rainbow Dash was standing before it, shaking a fist at it. Correction, she was shaking both fists at it.

“Oh?” The monster was a giant elephant standing on two legs, with at least six tusks coming out of its mouth. It had two gigantic hands instead of front legs. “You think you can defeat me, hero? You’re going to fail. Just go home. Do you know who I am? I am Helifantium! I am an all powerful creature of the Amazing Desert, who was infected by toxins spread by you humans! Now I have come here to erase you all from nature!”

“There’s an Amazing Desert?” Rainbow asked it. “I thought there was only an Amazing Forest.”

“That’s not relevant!” Helifantium raised its arms skyward. “What matters is me teaching all of you a lesson right here, right now! Behold!”

As it held its palms up, the monster’s trunk began to rotate and it began to rotate so fast that I thought it was going to fly off its face. With each rotation, more and more wind began to get sucked up over its head, between its hands, forming into a vortex of destruction.

Rainbow began running circles around the monster, running so fast that she began to form a tornado of her own, trying to cancel out Helifantium’s, but in the end, it didn’t work and it kicked a foot out, tripping Rainbow and sending her rolling into a pile of garbage that miraculously hadn’t gotten sucked up in the gale, though at Rainbow’s expense.

“Guess it’s time to step in.” I walked in, holding a hand over the top of my head.

Helifantium saw me walking over and it laughed at me. “Ha! Who are you? Another hero wannabe? Come to stop me like your friend? I’d like to see you give it a shot, puny human! What’s with that costume anyway? Makes you look dumb. And that hair! Are you ba-”

The monster didn’t get to finish its sentence, because my red-gloved fist found its way through the monster’s guts and the force of the blow created a rush of wind that canceled out the monster’s vortex, once again bringing the sun out over the now empty Canterlot streets. Guts rained from above, some of them staining my cape, and the street. Nothing out of the ordinary. Rainbow looked up from her pile of garbage and gave me a thumbs up.

“They really never learn…” I looked at my smoking fist and patted the hair on my head. “Hey, Rainbow, you okay?”

Months ago

It had been five in the morning when I hurt my arm when I smashed it down on my alarm clock. The pain had jolted me out of my stupor and I leapt out of bed as I remembered what today was.

Today was the day of the costume convention I had been preparing all month for.

As I throw open my window shades, I push my window open and take in a breath of fresh air. It smelt a little musty, but I was away from the city, so I didn’t get all that pollution a city-goer would have. It was still dark out, but I had chosen to get up early because of two reasons. The first, was so that I could throw my entire ensemble together for my costume. Two, I just couldn’t wait.

I grabbed a pair of kitchen gloves that was resting atop my circular wooden table, where I had left the ceiling fan on overnight to dry the red that I had painted on. Next to it, on a chair, was my outfit, which was a yellow jumpsuit I had sewn together. Yup, I can sew. It was something I had picked up when I was seven years old. I never really saw a need for it, but I thought it could be useful. Good thing, right?

Once I slipped the gloves and jumpsuit on, I returned to my bedroom, which was down the hallway from the kitchen. I grabbed the edges of my white bedsheet and plucked it off my bed, fastening it around my neck. This was to be my cape. All that was left were my belt and my boots, which were also painted red, but I had done that the day earlier, so they were already by the doorway.

If you haven’t already guessed, I was going to the convention dressed as Saitama from One Punch Man. Why Saitama? Well, it was because he’s really strong and no one could beat him. That’s just incredible, isn’t it? My favourite One Punch Man character is Metal Bat, but I didn’t want to go as him, because of the reason I stated above.

I then had quite the early breakfast of toast and salsa, which was quite decent, all things considered. Oh! By the way, I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Georg Filipe Mendoza, but you can just call me Georg. I’m a little private with my age, so let’s just say that I go to high school. I love comics, manga, video games, movies, anything you can name, I probably enjoy.

So when my watch hit six thirty, I left my home and began my walk down the streets over to the costume convention. I haven’t been to a CostumeCon in a long time, and it was nice to get to go again after so long. I normally buy a ton of merchandise and I haven’t had anything new to display in ages, mainly because of a virus that happened a while back. I had to stay home for quite some time and I missed two CostumeCons because of it.

By the time I got to the convention, I’m all sweaty and out of breath, but at least I had an hour to sit around and cool off for a bit. Didn’t want to stink when I took pictures with people.

I went to a washroom and mopped back my light black hair before inspecting my face and my costume. Everything I had on was in order and I looked exactly like Saitama, which was a good job if I may say so. The only difference between us now was that I still had hair. My hair was really important to me, because I looked bad bald, and I wasn’t going to shave it off just because I was cosplaying a bald character. I just thought of it as a wig, like that time Saitama infiltrated the martial arts tournament as Charanko. I thought it was always cool when people underestimate him, only to find out he’s so much more than anyone they know. That just goes to show to never judge a book by its cover, right?

Once everything was set and the convention was opened, I strolled on in and went straight to the merchandise booths to have a look. There were all kinds of figurines of so many different characters, but I had only brought so much money, so I would have to only get what I really wanted. There were things from all the anime I liked, like Naruto, Attack on Titan, and even something like Goblin Slayer. They all had cool figurines to get, but eventually, I found something better, which were Saitama and Genos keychains. It had been a real steal at twelve dollars each.

After a little more browsing, I went around taking pictures of the famous cosplayers I see on the internet, like Youtube or something. I asked some people if they wanted to have photos with me, but in the end, everyone said no. One guy even had the nerve to say that my hair didn’t match and it ruined my outfit. I just shrugged and went away, saying he had his opinion and I had mine. Personally, I didn’t think my hair was such a big problem like he did. As I watched him leave, I imagined myself giving him a good punch if I was actually Saitama. Oh, how great of a moment that would've been if I had Saitama's powers, right?

A few more hours into the convention, I found a store by the edge of the zone, featuring replica objects from various characters. To my joy, the stinky old man behind the booth had a pair of red gloves, exact replicas of the ones Saitama had, which were much better than the red kitchen gloves I had on. I purchased them and immediately threw them on, but once I did, I felt as though the world began to spin. I didn’t know what was going on, but I thought I might need a rest, so I began walking towards a bench.

But I never made it there.

I think I must’ve blacked out at some point, because when I came to, I wasn’t even in the CostumeCon anymore. Everything around me smelt like… nature, and I was in some grassy field which looked a little too unnaturally green and there were purple hills to my left and a small town to my right. This town was weird, with buildings that didn’t seem to be able to stand, but yet, there they were. It was all quiet and there were various colourful shapes walking around in town. When I got up to inspect them closer, I realized they were all…

“Ponies?!” I grabbed my head in disbelief. Down there, there were dozens of ponies, all of various colours and shapes.

They seemed to be doing everyday tasks, like grocery shopping, selling, and even hanging out. I had somehow found myself in a world of sentient ponies? I don’t even know how I got here, but I decided to look down and check myself. I still had on my Saitama attire and the new gloves I bought. That was good. I didn’t want my money to go to waste.

As a sense of loneliness and fear began to creep into my skin, I decided the best thing to do was to go to that town to see if there was a way home. When I realized the ponies could talk, I began asking them questions about my current location and how I could get home.

“You’re in Equestria,” one purple pony said quite naturally, as if I wasn’t the first human to come here. “You’re either free to stay here or you can go through a magical mirror we have over in the Castle of Friendship there.” She pointed to a purple castle that sat atop some kind of crystalline tree over by the other side of town.

“Still can’t believe I’m talking to a pony, but thanks!” I said and walked on.

It was all so weird to be in this world. It was as though I was in a kid’s cartoon world. I made my way into the castle, but it didn’t seem like anyone was home. I called out many times and even ate out of seven bowls of spaghetti that was left on the table, but still no one showed up. Why did I eat out of seven bowls? Let’s just say I was testing to see which one was not too hot and not too cold. And besides, it was weird to know that ponies ate spaghetti. I just wanted to see if it tasted the same as our human one.

I went through the entire castle and still found no one, though I did find a fairly large mirror hooked up to some kind of machine that was humming. I figured that was the machine the pony in town was talking about.

“Okay, so she said I could go through this…” I tried to tap a finger on the glass, but to my actual amazement, it went right through like it was made of cling wrap. It felt warm and like it was wrapping around your finger. The pony gave me two options but… “As if I’m going to be staying here. Bye Eques- whatever you call this place.”

And I was off, sailing down a rainbow tunnel that pulsated and glowed with each moment I passed through it. Everything began to get brighter and hotter until I was standing on a pavement looking out at a purple building with many windows.

I was out. I was home free! There were buildings around me that looked like actual buildings! However, there was one thing that threw me off. The colours were still wrong. Oh, and I didn’t recognize this place at all.

Not to be racist or anything, but people here had weird skin colours, like the ponies over beyond the mirror, which was now a statue of a horse. How weird.

The people walking about in front of me were of blue, green, pink and even purple skin, which definitely wasn’t normal for humans. Wherever I was now, this was definitely still not my world.

After standing there and looking at the building for at least twenty minutes, I surmised that it was an educational institute, in other words, a school. Judging by the height and looks of its students, this was a high school. I still couldn’t figure out what to do now, so I decided to head into the school to see if I could ask someone about my current predicament.

My target was a girl with bright rainbow hair and blue skin which was, of course, unnatural, at least to me. No one in the school also seemed to bother that I just walked right in. It was like they were used to strangers walking into their school just like that. They were lucky I wasn’t dangerous.

“Excuse me.” I tap her on the shoulder to get her attention.

“Yeah?” she asked, her voice high and a little hoarse sounding. Get it? Hoarse? Like you know, the ponies back in… nevermind, I’ll move on.

“My name’s Georg Filipe Mendoza. Uh, Georg for short. I just came through a portal over there outside your school from a land called, uh, it’s Eques-something. But you see, I woke up there somehow and they told me I’d find the human world when I walked through the portal, but this isn’t the same human world as the one I’m from, and-”

“Woah, woah, slow down!” The girl interrupted. “You’re gonna give someone a stroke like that, talking so fast. So you came from Equestria?”

“That’s what the pony said. Yeah.”

“And you woke up there?”

“Yep.”

“That’s weird, just waking up in another world for no reason.” She scratched her head. “What’s with the outfit?”

“Oh this?” I looked at myself. “I went to a costume convention dressed as a character called Saitama from the manga One Punch Man.”

“Say-tama?” She tried to repeat. “Never heard of him. Well, buddy, to be honest with you, I also don’t know how you’re going to get home. In the meantime, I could show you around and get you used to the place. You know, make you feel at home here till we can find a way back home for you.”

I gave that some thought. I didn’t want to be here. This world wasn’t my home, nor were these people my family or friends. But if I didn’t have a way home, what else was I going to do? In the end, I decided it would be a good idea to get a base of operations set up here while I figure out how to get home.

I took the girl’s offer and she showed me around school. Oh, by the way, her name is Rainbow Dash. Yeah, I know. Weird name, right? But I heard weirder on the tour she gave me, like Mystery Mint, Applejack, Sunset Shimmer. They all sounded pretty surreal to me. There was one girl who was rather cute though. Her name was Fluttershy and that wasn’t a name that was too weird. No, I’m not being biased or anything, okay? It’s just that… well, oh, Rainbow’s calling.

She said I could enroll in school while I looked for a way back so that I could have something to do in the day. I accepted again, because really, what was I going to do?

“So, where are you going to stay?” Rainbow asked after I finished my enrollment with the principal, whose name was Celestia. “If you don’t have a place, you could always come stay with me. I’ve got a spare room at my place.”

I shrugged. “I guess I’ll take up your offer. It’s free, right?”

There was an explosion outside and we all instinctively ducked down. Screams erupted around us and students began panicking and running all over the place, with one boy even running into a locker and knocking himself out.

“I hope it’s not that kind of neighbourhood…” I sighed. What else could possibly go wrong?

“Attention students. Please return to your homerooms and stay under your desks,” an announcement blared from a speaker above my head. “Our Defenders will handle this. Please remain calm and stay put.”

“I guess that means me.” Rainbow pointed a thumb at herself. “Stay put, Georg. There’s trouble outside and I need to handle it.”

“Wait, I can come too!” I called after Rainbow, but she was already gone. To my surprise, she moved surprisingly quickly. Like really quick. Like lightning quick.

After rubbing my eyes to make sure I hadn’t imagined it, I decided to follow along and found her outside standing before a giant squidfaced monster, sprouting five tentacles from its chin. It had quite the large belly and it had flabby humanoid arms and legs.

The monster laughed at her and pointed a grubby finger at her face. “I am Squidface, the Destroyer of Worlds and Lands! I have come from the ocean to finally exact my revenge against you humans! You have polluted my sea long enough. Now you will all die! And I will pollute the streets with your blood!”

“Hey!” I yelled as I ran in. Somehow, in a second, I was by Rainbow and she looked at me in disbelief, but I moved in front and shield her. That was weird. Anyway, I wasn’t going to let some monster harm her. She was sorta my first friend here. “Leave this city alone!”

“You don’t leave my home alone. Why should I?”

I was shaking in my boots. Literally, but then I suddenly thought of an idea. I was dressed as Saitama. I just ran quite fast. What if I could actually punch the monster? Flawed logic, I know, but it sounded cool and what harm was there to try?

“If you don’t leave, I’ll… I’ll punch you!” I held up one fist.

The monster guffawed and stuck its belly out and pointed to it with both hands. “Then be my guest! First hit. All yours! Give it your best! After that, I’ll eat you first.”

I gulped as I looked between my fist and the monster. I guess there was no chickening out now.

Drawing back, I threw my fist forward as hard as I could. I had shut my eyes, but then an explosion of fat and tissue made me open them again, at the wrong time. Body fluids splattered my face as Squidface was blown across a sizeable part of town, leaving only its legs, severed at the thighs.

“That was… That was awesome!” Rainbow broke my silent amazement. “You punched it and it just splooooshed! I can’t believe it! You killed it in a single punch! Just what are you made of?!”

I looked at my smoking fist and my hanging jaw suddenly formed into a smile. It actually worked. I actually one punched a monster. Somehow, I now have the powers of Saitama! That was incredible.

This was something I could get used to in this world. Nothing could go wrong now.

“Hey, uh, Georg…” Rainbow tapped my arm. Then she pointed to the top of her head. “Your uh… hair’s falling off.”

My eyes shot wide open. “What?!”

I ran a hand over the top of my head, but instead of hair, all I felt was smooth skin. Besides becoming strong, I was now also bald.

I fell on my knees and I yelled out for the world to hear.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

My sonic scream shook the entire city and a man who had been standing nearby dropped his ice cream.

"Hey! You're paying for that!"

Author's Note

Well, here's the first chapter. I hope it has been as entertaining to you as it was to me when I was writing it. I decided to keep Georgdoza's ending for his first chapter, because I thought it was rather witty to end it on this note. As always, please let me know what you think and what I can do to improve!

Cheers!

Chapter 2: To the Wig Store

From an expected fun day on my first day of school in Canterlot, it quickly became my worst day. The reason?

I touched the top of my head and I groaned sharply. My hair. My beautiful black hair was all gone. After punching that monster yesterday, it all just dropped from my head, leaving quite the shine of baldness where it all used to be. Everyone kept looking at me and laughing at my lack of hair, which made me wish I hadn’t come to school.

“It’s just baldness. It’s not like you’re crippled or anything.” Rainbow tried to cheer me up. “I mean, unless you have crippling depression. Which you don’t. Right?”

“I mean, I might…” I sulked. My hair. My beautiful hair. It was all gone and all that was left was the blinding shine my bald head gave off. Yeah, it wasn’t a great way to start school.

“Tell you what, we’ll get you a wig after school, okay?” Rainbow patted my back. “Just… hold out till then.”

I groaned again. It wasn’t much, but I couldn’t think of any other way to repair my baldness. This was just awful. On the bright side, at least I was now quite powerful. Though I have been asking myself all night… Was it worth it? I still don’t have an answer.

So yesterday, I had taken up Rainbow Dash’s offer of a place to stay, since I still had none. Her house was nice. It was a regular two story suburban house with a front yard and a back yard. The insides were mostly painted blue, though the upstairs hallway was white. She had a spare room next to hers for whatever reason. It had a bed and everything, so my makeshift home was quite set. It was comfortable, but it wasn’t quite like what I had back at my actual home.

My room had been packed with action figures of anime characters on a shelf beside my bed. I had all kinds of figures, even stuff from an age-old favourite, Digimon. In the far corner of my room was my TV and Playstation 4, which I was frequently found on, but here, in Rainbow’s spare room, all I had was the bed, a cupboard by the window, and a little round bedside table. Yeah, it wasn’t much, but at least it was somewhere I could sleep comfortably enough.

School wasn’t all too bad, besides the fact that I was just getting bombarded by laughter all the way through, especially down the halls between classes. I followed along easily enough, and because I wasn’t a troublemaker, I didn’t catch the teacher’s attention much. Well, maybe except for my shiny bald head.

When lunch came around, Rainbow Dash brought me over to the table she said she usually sat at. While there, I made friends with six other girls whom she said made up their band, the Rainbooms. There was Twilight Sparkle, a bespectacled girl with purple skin and various shades of purple for her hair.

“She can use telekuh-teleko-uh…” Rainbow placed a finger to her chin.

“Telekinesis.” Twilight shook my hand. “I can move objects with my mind. Or well, my magic.”

“Oh… Wow.” I nodded. That sounded just like Tatsumaki’s power. If you don’t know Tatsumaki, she was another character from One Punch Man. A little green haired girl with telekinesis. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I always thought she was a cute character.

“This one’s Applejack.” Rainbow patted the shoulder of a girl with a stetson and a mop of blonde hair underneath it. “She’s really strong. You don’t want to pick a fight with her. Unless you’re really fast.”

“Nice to meet ya!” Applejack shook my hand too. I think she tried to give my hand a squeeze, but I was actually strong enough to resist it. “Hoowee, ya sure have a mighty fine grip!”

The next one Rainbow introduced me to was Sunset Shimmer. She was a girl with red and yellow hair, which kinda looked like bacon. Thinking about that made me hungry. It was a good thing it was lunch time.

“This here’s Pinkie Pie.” Applejack moved on to the next friend.

“Hi there,” I said.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!” She shook my hand vigorously. “You’re new here! But soon you won’t be! Hey, you know you should become a hero or something after what you did to that monster yesterday!”

“Oh, you know about that?”

“How could we not! Everyone knows about it now! That was amazing how you just bam! And the monster died!”

“Uhh… Cool. Right. Yeah. That.”

“This one’s Fluttershy here.” Applejack introduced the next friend. She had soft pink hair and she actually looked really cute. A little too cute. I had to stop looking at her or I might’ve died from an increased heart rate.

“H-Hi…” She waved. That was so cute.

I wanted to say something manly to impress her for some reason, but in the end, all I managed was a measly, “Hur-hello…”

I would definitely want to be friends with her.

The last girl Rainbow introduced me to was Rarity, who was like some sort of fashion model or movie star. She was really beautiful, but she didn’t catch my eye like Fluttershy did. I think I just have a thing for cute girls. Rarity had the power to throw up barriers, so I figured she was something like Violet from The Incredibles, except she couldn’t turn invisible.

After introducing ourselves, we just talked for a bit while we ate lunch. So besides being a band, Rainbow also told me they were Canterlot’s Defenders, and it was their duty to keep Canterlot safe from harm, be it forces from Equestria, that horse world I had come from when I woke up, or evil-doers from this world.

“Wow, that’s really cool,” I said. “You’re just like the Hero’s Association from One Punch Man.”

I went on to explain to them what One Punch Man was and what a cool manga it was and how Saitama had trained so much that he became the strongest man alive.

“That’s neat, right?” Rainbow asked her friends. “I wonder if I could get that strong if I just amped up my training everyday.”

“Well, that’s if you want to go bald too.” Applejack chuckled.

“Yeah, okay, fair enough.” Rainbow ran a hand along her multicoloured hair. “Don’t want to lose this. Being bald stinks.”

I sighed. It really did.

“Oh, no offense, Georg.” Rainbow gave me a pat on the back. “And besides, we’re getting you that wig after school. Don’t forget that. You’ll be good as new once we’re done.”

“Meh.”

I waited patiently till school was out that day. It wasn’t long, but literature class felt surprisingly long. We had to analyze a poem about a man and two roads and how he somehow wound up in prison. I didn’t get it, but then again, who would?

The mall wasn’t far from school. Rainbow and I arrived in about seventeen minutes by foot and she brought me straight to the wig shop. It was a small store at the far end of the first floor, manned by an old man with broken teeth. He gave us a rather creepy smile when we entered. Not knowing what to do, I gave him a creepy smile back. After that, he stopped. I don’t know if that was a good thing or not.

The store had rows and rows of wigs of all different shapes and colours. Most of them were long and flowy, almost like anime hairstyles, but there were also shorter hair wigs along the top row, which was what I was after.

“Hey, this one’s nice. You like it?” Rainbow held up an orange afro and grinned.

“Meh, you know what, there was a time Saitama went to a martial arts tournament impersonating another character. It kinda looks like the wig he wore when he did that. I don’t want to wear something similar.”

“Oh. Well, uh, sure, we’ll pick another one out.” She put the wig back on the mannequin head.

We spent more time walking around the store and trying all sorts of wigs. I even tried one that looked like Spongebob. Yeah, crazy right? Especially since Spongebob doesn’t have any hair.

Eventually, I decided to get one close to the entrance of the store. It was just a simple black wig which kinda looked like it was gelled up into spiky points, kind of like an actual anime hairstyle, but in real life. It was the same colour as my actual hair, so it wasn’t too out of place.

“Hey, I think that’s a good one. It looks good,” Rainbow said after we left the store, with the creepy old man waving to us as we headed out.

“You think so?” I adjusted the wig atop my head. “I think so too. It feels good not to be bald anymore.”

“A little plain, but it works.” She nudged my side.

“Plain? Really? It looks normal to me.”

“I mean…” Rainbow pointed at her own hair. “C’mon. You see this?”

I nodded. True, her hair was really nice. It was long, flowy and it was vibrant for sure, but it was a little bright. “I guess.”

We were about to leave for the mall entrance when a portion of the wall near the elevators blew out, forcing us down. I wrapped myself around Rainbow to shield her from the blast, with my cape getting torn from debris shooting through it. Thankfully, they bounced off my skin harmlessly and I managed to shield us both from a potential horrible death, should I not have had Saitama’s powers.

A monster stepped through the new hole in the wall, with the edges melting around it as people around us began screaming and running for safety. It was a giant dark red turtle standing on two legs and it had quite the long neck, more like something you’d see on an eel. Fire puffed out from its nostrils and its menacing yellow eyes focused on Rainbow and I.

“Beware! I am Turtle Fandrango!” It raised its arms to its side. Steam poured from under its shell and began melting more of the broken wall. “I have come to destroy all of Canterlot for building over what was once my beautiful home!”

“We didn’t do anything,” I said to it. “Just leave us and we’ll leave you alone too.”

“Didn’t do anything?” Turtle Fandrango whipped its head over to where I was. “That house on the hill away from your city center used to be my home. I raised my children in that lake, but then you humans killed all of us and ate us and only I escaped with my life! After that, I was imbued by power from the King of all Monsters and now I have come back to exact my revenge! I will kill all of you and eat your charred remains! Observe!”

Turtle Fandrango took in a deep breath and I dashed Rainbow out of the way as a ball of fire left its mouth, sailing into a couple of ATM machines, blowing them into smithereens, with burning money now flying everywhere.

“Someone needs to teach this monster a lesson.” Rainbow pumped her fists together. “I’ll take care of this. Defender style.”

Rainbow Dash was just about to run off when both of us began hearing the sound of… cycling.

No. It couldn’t be… Could it?

“Justice crash!” A very familiar bicycle came through the hole in the wall and slammed harmlessly against the monster’s shell. It fell to the ground and was whipped away by its tail, sending it crashing into a potted plant by the side, ending with a descending ring. A man with a green helmet and goggles dressed in orange armor stood at the hole, his fists raised to do battle.

“Mumen Rider?” I called out in disbelief. How was he here too?

“Huh?” He turned to face me. “You know me?”

Before I could even remotely give him an answer, he was swiped away by Turtle Fandrango’s tail and he flew over into a bush outside, which promptly went on fire from cinders from the monster’s body.

“I’ll get him out of here.” Rainbow hopped about on her feet. “You deal with the monster. I’m pretty sure you can take him.”

And she disappeared in a flash of colours as she moved to get Mumen Rider to safety.

“So it’s just you now, puny human. You think you can beat me? You saw what I did to your friend?” Turtle Fandrango poked my head with one hand, which irritated me, because it shifted my wig a little.

“Don’t touch my head,” I said sternly, hoping to intimidate the monster off, but all I did was make it laugh at me.

“You jest!” The monster patted his belly. “I have the power of an active volcano! Just releasing my steam can melt walls!”

Flexing its arms, steam gushed from under its shell and the hole in the wall got wider and wider and the plants around us were set on fire from the immense heat. Somehow, I wasn’t too bothered by how hot it was. I continued to stand there, my arms folded, unimpressed.

“Just give me your best shot already,” I said. “I don’t have all day.”

“Then behold my Magma Buster Cannon! My ultimate move!” That pissed off Turtle Fandrango and he stomped a foot into the ground and breathed in very deeply.

I placed my right foot back and readied myself as a gigantic fireball left the turtle’s mouth. It was so big that it destroyed the floor above us as it sailed towards me, melting the hall and everything around us. Kicking off, I threw myself at the fireball, pulling my right arm back as far as I could. Just before the fireball could hit my head, I flung my arm forward with so much force that the entire fireball dispersed in a rush of wind, and I flew right through it and then through Turtle Fandrango and the wall as well, skidding to a stop on the road outside as it began to rain.

Turtle Fandrango exploded into a dozen pieces behind me as I stood up and looked back at its remains. Only the monster’s legs were left. Its thick shell that seemed to be able to deflect everything was now scattered across the mall and the street, shattered like a porcelain plate in the kitchen.

“Easy enough.” I raised my smoking fist. It had been hot enough to… Wait a minute.

I looked down and my hands instantly shot to the spot between my legs. I was completely naked! The heat from the turtle’s fireball must’ve burnt off all my clothes.

“Georg, that was amazing!” Rainbow was back in a flash, throwing her arms skyward. Then her eyes moved downward. “You just blew that monster away, just like that! And I mean, wow, for someone like you, I didn’t expect your-”

“Stop looking!” I blushed and pushed her face aside. “Hey, so you got Mumen Rider to safety?”

“Oh, yeah totally.” Rainbow grinned. “I got him over to school. Safest place, right? Even got his bike there too. Friend of yours?”

“Well… Not exactly. He’s from One Punch Man too, like the character I became. I don’t know how he’s here too.”

“How odd.” Rainbow rubbed her chin. She crouched down and picked up a piece of the monster’s shell. “So people are randomly being transported here while they sleep or something. Monsters are becoming more frequent. I wonder what’s going on. Oh, hey Georg, your uh, wig’s gone. Must’ve burnt up with your clothes too.”

I ran both my hands over my head and I was dismayed to not feel any damp hair. Instead, all I felt was the smooth texture of my bald head.

“NOOO!” I yelled to the sky.

As my body jerked upwards however, I felt a part of me smack into Rainbow Dash and she fell to the ground unconscious.

“Oh dear…”

Author's Note

Well, here's hoping you guys find this enjoyable! Please do let me know if you do, because I really find it puzzling the original is so well received and yet, this one isn't, ha.

Cheers, y'all. Please help me out with this puzzle should you have some speculation.