King Sombra's Happy Rainbow Kingdom of Love
Only the Scariest Pony Ever?
"It must be you and you alone who ultimately assists Princess Cadance and Shining Armor in doing what needs to be done to protect the empire. Do you understand?" Princess Celestia gravely asked her faithful student.
Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Yes Princess, I do. So was King Sombra really that terrible?"
Princess Celestia looked away for a moment to meet the eyes of her sister. "Um...yes, yes he was!"
"Absolutely nightmarish!" Princess Luna added.
A Thousand Years Ago...
The Royal Sisters' chariots touched down, the wheels digging into the snow and causing them to sink slightly. The two alicorns stepped out and approached the Crystal Empire, their six, fully-armored guards following behind. They'd received reports about the kingdom, its citizens shimmering ponies with crystalline coats, the buildings constructed out of gemstones. Reports also mentioned the terrible monarch of the empire, one King Sombra, a unicorn so dark and twisted that the mere mention of his name struck fear into even the hearts of the bravest warriors. Donning their best battle regalia, the princesses sharpened their swords and spears, ready to do battle with the monstrous tyrant.
"Is all this really necessary, sister?" Princess Luna wondered, blue eyes darting back and forth.
"Absolutely. We have no idea of the horrors that await us. It's better to be overprepared than underprepared," Princess Celestia replied, trying her best to hide the quivering in her voice.
They entered the city gates and were met by...
"WELCOME TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!!"
...a chorus of smiling crystal ponies.
"What the-...?"
Princess Luna was cut off when a big brass band started up, resulting in the gathering ponies dancing around the befuddled princesses and their guards. The situation was made even more confusing when the crystal ponies began to sing:
"Welcome to the Crystal Empire, we're sure you'll enjoy your stay!
While in our kingdom, there's some rules that must be obeyed:
Saying 'Please' and 'Thank you' is a great way to start
Kindness is a virtue and having good manners is an art!
Trash and litter on the streets is something we will not permit
Like everything else, it is a sacred duty we all must split!"
Princess Luna wrapped her forelegs around Princess Celestia's barrel. "Sister...I'm scared!"
"Have heart, Luna! We must be brave!" Princess Celestia returned Luna's embrace just as hard, her face a mask of stoicism. "Hopefully it'll be over soon!"
"Always respect your elders and help them cross the street
Candie's always dandy but being selfless is twice as sweet!
Greet your neighbors with a smile and wish them a good day
'You can never have enough friends' is what we always say!
After every argument, remember to always hug it out
Forgiveness and compassion is the correct route!
We must never be nasty and never hold a grudge
We are all the same deep down; who are we to judge?
Pride in our ourselves and our home is a must!
In our leader King Sombra, we place all of our trust!
He keeps us all happy and puts smiles on our face
Sombra's a true paragon of the equine race!
In case you didn't get it, we're happy to say it again:
Welcome to the Crystal Empire, welcome, welcome new friends!"
Everypony froze in place as cannons launched clouds of confetti, the multicolored scraps of paper sprinkling all over the newcomers. Fireworks rocketed into the sky, bursting in flashes of blue and purple that formed the shape of the Crystal Empire's national flag. The princesses had faced demons, hordes of undead warriors, a succubus queen, eldritch abominations whose very visage would've shattered the minds of lesser ponies...yet this was the most chilling and foul thing that they'd ever encountered. Even the battle-hardened royal guards were shaking in their horseshoes.
With the show over, the crystal ponies crowded around the visitors to greet them while several others went to work sweeping up the confetti and rolling the cannons back wherever they got them. Bowing, hoof-shaking, hugs and even gifts were bestowed upon the princesses, overwhelming them with friendliness the likes of which they'd never encountered. What new spore of madness was this? Nopony was this welcoming! Flashing her horn, Princess Celestia enacted a voice reverberation spell to get the crystal ponies' attention.
"Excuse me, but could everypony please back up!"
Instantly, the crystal ponies complied, respectfully giving the eight newcomers a wide berth.
Wow, they are good at following orders! "Thank you very much!"
"You're welcome!" They all replied.
"Er, right. Anyway, thank you for the warm welcome and that...entertaining performance. Could one of you be so kind as to introduce us to this 'King Sombra' that we've heard so much about?"
After chattering amongst themselves, they parted into two columns to allow a young crystal mare to pass by, reforming into a large crowd once she'd made it past them. She was a blue-green with a curly, light green and white mane kept in a ponytail with a bright yellow ribbon tied in a bow. The mare bowed before the princesses, a large grin on her shimmering face.
"Greetings, Your Majesties! My name is Jasmine Brightstone and I formally welcome you to the Crystal Empire!"
Princess Celestia smiled uneasily. "Thank you, Jasmine. I am Princess Celestia and this is my sister Princess Luna. We have come from Canterlot to visit your kingdom. Could you lead us to the palace?"
"Abso-positively-lutely! Follow me!" The mare spun around and began skipping forward. Reluctantly, the princesses and guards followed, still wary of the deceptively bright and chipper realm.
"So...Jasmine? Would you say that you're...happy here?" Princess Luna asked.
"Of course! The Crystal Empire is the bestest place in all of Equestria!" Jasmine answered without hesitation. "As you can see, there's no pollution, everypony gets along and there aren't even any guards or military!"
"No guards? Or even a military?" Now Princess Celestia was awestruck. "What about crime?"
Jasmine giggled. "Why would there be? Everypony's too happy for that. Thanks to King Sombra, there are plenty of jobs, a stable economy, health benefits for all citizens, a lucrative education system and an abundance of food."
"So you're saying that there aren't any lawbreakers?" Princess Luna wondered.
"Oh we get those sometimes. Mr. Charolite spent a night in jail for failing to stop at a red light and just last week, Opal Sparks received a fine because she didn't throw a candy wrapper into a nearby trashcan."
The more she heard about this place, the less convinced Princess Celestia was that it could actually exist. "What about more severe crimes like theft or assault? Don't you have those?"
Skidding to a stop, Jasmine whirled around suddenly. "You mean 'T's' and 'A's'?" she gasped, deep blue eyes widened to the size of plates. "We haven't had any of those in a century. Not since King Sombra came into power and showed us a better way of living."
"A century? How can a unicorn live so long?"
"I'll show you!" Jasmine picked up her speed and they soon approached the magnificent Crystal Castle, a palace carved out of light blue and white crystals that shined brilliantly in the sunlight. In the square preceding the castle's entrance, they came across a floating, heart-shaped gem that hummed and glowed with power. "I give you the Crystal Heart!"
Princess Celestia carefully inspected it, peering closely at the item and laying a hoof against it. The gem was warm to the touch and gave her a sense of peace and tranquility she'd never felt before.
"What does this 'Crystal Heart' do exactly?" Princess Luna asked.
Jasmine's eyes lit up reverently. "It's a powerful relic dating back to the formation of the Crystal Empire. Back then, it was a collection of huts belonging to a war-mongering tribe. Then, King Sombra arrived and used his magic to enchant the Heart, not only using it to keep the Frozen North's ice and snow away but also to unite us. The Heart draws upon the love found inside every crystal pony, filling us with empathy and compassion for each other."
Princess Celestia took her hoof away, the warmth she felt immediately evaporating. "How is King Sombra still alive after all these years? I heard he was a young stallion."
Jasmine nodded. "Indeed he is. But through the magic of the Crystal Heart, he keeps himself young so that he can continue to guide us to a better tomorrow. Thanks to him, we don't have to worry about blizzards, windigos, strife or war never ever again!"
"Could you take us to meet him?"
"Of course! Let's go!" Not even waiting for them, Jasmine skipped forward in long bounds. Due to their armor, the princesses and their guards fell a little behind and she had to stop several times to made sure that they kept up. As they entered the castle and journeyed through it's halls, Princess Celestia couldn't help but be amazed. There were no guards, at least none that she could see, which was astounding as the castle in Canterlot was surrounded by royal guards 24/7.
Coming across a set of massive doors, Jasmine gently pushed one open and they entered a giant, shimmering throne room. Atop a throne of rubies and orange topaz, there sat a large gray stallion with a curious red curved horn. He wore a silver circlet and a red cape trimmed with white fur. King Sombra beckoned them forward, a small smile on his lips.
"Hello Jasmine Brightstone! And I see you brought guests! Welcome, welcome to my home!"
"Hiya King Sombra!" Jasmine bowed and leapt up to hug the king, who chuckled and squeezed her back. "May I present Princesses Celestia and Luna from Canterlot!"
King Sombra beamed at the newcomers. "Welcome Princesses! I'm so happy that you could make it! You must be so tired from your long journey! Would you care for refreshments?"
"I'd like some grape juice," one of the royal guards said. Princess Luna simply glared at him. "What? He offered."
Princess Celestia cleared her throat. "No thank you. We're here because we heard terrible things were happening in the Crystal Empire and while under your supervision."
Setting Jasmine down, King Sombra rose from his throne. "'Terrible things'? Oh no, you must be mistaken. The Crystal Empire is a prosperous kingdom. We have no wars and arguments are merely little disagreements."
"So you aren't a tyrant that's enslaving the crystal ponies?"
"Luna!"
"How dare you?!" Jasmine screeched. "After graciously welcoming you into his home, you insult the king and accuse him of doing bad things! Why, I outta-..."
"Jasmine," King Sombra admonished lightly, laying a hoof on her shoulder. "Remember what I said about losing your temper?"
"'Don't get angry. Anger clouds everything like a rainy day,'" the mare uttered.
"That's right. They are simply making sure everything is fine. Isn't it?"
The sisters shared glances and turned back to King Sombra. Princess Celestia bit her lip. "I suppose it is. It was likely rumors started by a jealous kingdom. It happens from time to time."
King Sombra let out a good natured snort. "That I can believe. Some rulers just can't handle the way I run things. They take one look at my perfect little slice of paradise and become envious that they can't keep order the same way. It's amazing what jealousy and bruised egos from incompetent monarchs can lead to."
Both princesses were staring nonplussed at him.
"What's wrong?"
BRRRZZZT!
Rays of blue and gold zapped the king, transforming him into a shadow and teleporting him a thousand miles away, trapping him beneath thick layers of ice. The two went to work, enacting memory spells so that the crystal ponies would forget the good times under King Sombra's reign, replacing them with foggy recollections of pain and torment. Following this, they de-powered the Crystal Heart and hid it in the castle's tallest tower, since its destruction would bury the empire in snow. One massive, energy-draining, city-wide vanishing curse later, the Crystal Empire disappeared, its existence reduced to a mere myth. Their spell for both the empire and the king would only hold up for a thousand years but that wasn't something that they needed to worry about now.
"Okay," Princess Celestia stated. "Let's get our stories straight: King Sombra imprisoned the crystal ponies, had a weird obsession with crystals and we banished him to the ice but not before he cursed the empire to disappear. Agreed?"
"No arguments, here." Princess Luna sat back in the chariot. "You don't think he's going to be angry, do you?"
Princess Celestia shrugged. "After a thousand years, he'll probably go mad and not even remember us."
"True." There was a moment of silence before: "Say Celestia? Do you think we're bad rulers?"
"What? No! Clearly we're doing the best that we can. It's not our fault monsters and despots keep invading."
"I suppose not. Let's just hope that our mistakes won't return for the next generation to handle just because we were too incompetent to handle it ourselves."
The elder alicorn forked a brow. "Nonsense! Now then, let's go take care of that Discord guy. He's having way too much fun and is always showing up at our parties."
"Yeah, let's! By the way, about that night-day proposal-..."
"Drop it."
"Yes sister."
The End
Author's Note
The "Welcome to the Crystal Empire" Lyrics were written by me and I'm not a professional songwriter so forgive me if they're not very good.