Taming Strange. Or: How I learned to stop worrying and make love in public

The time came for the two lovers to go to their respective homes. The short train ride back to Canterlot was spent in comfortable silence. Haycartes' head never left the top of his mare's. They exited the train and Haycarte turned to walk towards the Dean's penthouse but Picturesque looked at him with pleading eyes. "s'il te plait mon amour encore un peu."

Wordsmith had taught him, with much difficulty, what a stroll was. It'd been like pulling teeth to deprogram Haycarte's death trot. It just didn't make sense to him that a walk could be a destination. So using his new knowledge of how to walk aimlessly he led his mare the opposite direction.

The two walked head to head, hip to hip, tails entwined. Both walking eyes closed, just enjoying each other's presence. They couldn't care less where they were headed just as long as they were together. They fell into a path next to a canal. Haycartes knew he needed to turn around at some point, but never established when that point was.

Haycarte had walked these paths thousands of times and he knew where he was without having to think about it. His hind brain started to worry. Vague memories of these paths started to filter into his forebrain. His argumentative nature caused him to doubt his instincts. Hind brain was warning him to turn back, and his scars were agreeing, but he snapped at his brain to shut up and let him enjoy his stroll.

"Clearly we're not where you say we are because I haven't struck my hoof on that." He then immediately struck his hoof on a small crack in the sidewalk and his eyes snapped open. He had subconsciously led them on the path he had trotted every day from his hovel to the library. They were standing dead center in the middle of Canterlot's biggest unemployed urban youth stomping ground.

His mind raced, he glanced around but fortunately they were still alone, the streets were deserted. There was still time, he could fix this. He turned them into a side street determined to turn them around back the way they came. Of course things can never go as planned can they. A reflection in a window showed five ponies coming out of a building behind them. "Don't notice us just walk the other way and DAMNIT!" Because of course they had to latch on to the two lovers didn't they.

The two rounded a corner and Haycarte hissed into Picturesque's ear. "My love, we're about to be attacked. They have two unicorns with them so I need you to fly to the top of that building right now." Picturesque stopped dead in her tracks. She tried to ask what he meant. The five ponies rounded the corner at a gallop and charged straight at them. There was no time to explain. He grabbed her under all four hooves and tossed her bodily into the air shouting. "GO! NOW! GET OUT OF RANGE!"

She fumbled with her wings and awkwardly took to the sky. The first pony's hoof connected with the back of Roané's head knocking him down flat. The second grabbed him from behind under the front legs and locked his hooves behind Haycarte's head. The two unicorn's horns glowed but Picturesque was just out of range of their magic. They could only vainly tug at her not able to get a solid hold. They turned their attention to the earth pony.

Roané managed to swing both of his back hooves against the left hoof of the pony holding him causing him to lose his hold. He swung at the pony in front of him catching him in the neck. The third though bucked him with both back hooves into the levitation fields of the two unicorns who held him until two earth ponies could grab a front leg each. The remaining three took turns bucking him in the stomach and ribs.

Picturesque watched in silent panic. She couldn't stand it anymore. She didn't know what to do but she had to do something. She dashed down knocking over an earth pony before he could buck Haycarte in the muzzle. The unicorns had been watching her though and one grabbed her in his magical field. She struggled impotently against his telekinetic pull.

Haycarte cursed to himself. He couldn't allow this. He didn't care what they did to him but she was off limits. There was one sure fire way to make a gang of stallions lose their interest with mares, but oh how he was gonna get it afterwards. He bucked with both hooves into the stallionhood of the earth pony holding his right hoof breaking his hold. He sent a crashing blow with his right into the other pony's muzzle. He lept forward and planted both front hooves into the ground and bucked as hard as he could into the unicorn's nether regions eliciting an audible yelp.

The magical grasp of the unicorn holding Picturesque was broken and she dashed back out of range. The other unicorn seeing their prey was going to stay out of range and not wanting to meet the same fate as his fellows picked up Haycarte bodily and smashed him against the wall with a sickening crack. He fell limply into the water of the canal. Picturesque screamed at the sight.

The attackers considered their business done and the unicorn carried the wounded unicorn away in his magic. The two earth ponies carried along their wounded fellow. Picturesque took this opportunity to dive into the water after Haycarte who still hadn't surfaced. The walls of the canal were too high to pull him out but she managed to keep his bloodied mouth above water until the walls subsided. She dragged him onto the canal bank. He wasn't moving.

She called desperately to him trying to get a response but none came for several seconds. Finally he coughed and blinked. She wept with relief. He coughed and had trouble getting his breath. "not safe." He wheezed. Picturesque leaned in close to hear better but Haycartes got shakily to his hooves and started limping.

She helped him limp a few blocks until he led her to a dilapidated house, just off of the industrial sector of Canterlot. She stopped at the porch. "Mon amour, this house has been condemned. We must not go in." He didn't stop his limping trudge. He slipped under the "do not cross" tape and pushed on the door. The newly replaced deadbolt was useless in the rotten door frame.

Picturesque was unsure but eventually followed him. He collapsed onto a filthy mattress and she knelt beside him cradling his head. "Mon amour, why are we here. You need a doctor!"

He was breathing more softly more but could still only wheeze out the word. "Home."