Sawbones was in the bad habit of reading esoteric medical texts until he fell asleep. This was a bad habit because he could never quite remember where he got to in his books before falling asleep and would often read several chapters repeatedly as a consequence. He lay sitting up in his bed head lolled back snoring, the book laying in his lap. He was instantly jolted awake by a loud crack and the sound of shattering glass.

He sprung out of bed in a daze not knowing what was going on. His horn flared defensively. What he would've done with it he had no idea but it seemed like the thing to do. After a few seconds of inaction he rubbed his eyes and put more energy into his horn to illuminate the room. He saw nopony.

He turned on the light and sure enough the window was badly cracked. A stone lay still wobbling on the floor. His disbelief tempered his outrage. He was too concerned about why anyone would break his window to be mad about it. He looked outside and his eyes went wide.

He dashed into the bathroom and straight through to the other dormitory. The mare currently straddling wordsmith squeaked in surprise. Sawbones galloped straight through without looking at the two. "SMITH GET DOWNSTAIRS. NOW!" Sawbones barked in the voice medical professionals use that ponies instinctively obey.

Wordsmith exited the mare he was currently with and flopped over ungracefully to the floor. He scrambled out the door. "What the discord is the matter old colt? BONES!" The poet called after his friend but the medical student didn't answer. The gap between them widened and Wordsmith was forced to look for where he'd galloped off to when he reached the ground floor.

He spied his friend crouching over something, but the poet couldn't quite identify it by moonlight. He trotted up to see what the fuss was all about. "I say what's all this interrupting a romantic even-. ROANÉ!" Wordsmith finally saw what Sawbones had seen and was currently examining. It was the broken bloodied form of his dorm mate. "Carte! What in tartarus' black pits happened to you?" Wordsmith shouted in a voice half concern and half reproach.

"Smith, shut up and go get an ambulance. Carte, don't answer that your ribs are broken, don't try to talk." Wordsmith dashed off towards the clinic where there was a magical hotline to Canterlot General for emergency cases

Haycartes began to chuckle to himself. "I'm sorry I broke your window. I didn't think I could make it up the stairs." Roané wheezed out. Sawbones' face went blank. All concentration shattered in an instant all medical professionalism evaporated. The medical student couldn't help but chuckle. Because of course he would. Even now, beaten and bloodied, the stoic still apologizes for damaging his room. He plopped down on the ground laughing at the absurdity of his friend.

Wordsmith returned to find his friend sitting on the ground still laughing. His eyes flamed. He grabbed Sawbones by the shoulders. "What do you think is so funny at a time like this?" Sawbones had trouble stopping his chuckling.
He breathed deeply and told him the joke.

"Ah very well that is rather funny. Though you do owe me an apology as well old colt. You interrupted a very pleasant evening with that pretty pink pegasus from your fillysophy class." Wordsmith said gently surrounding the stricken pony with his magic.

They slowly carefully walked up the stairs and were about to enter the dorm when out of the corner of his eye Haycarte spied the name Picturesque. His hoof lashed out reflexatorily and he seized the letter clipped to the door frame.

He was placed on his bed while still reading and his labored breathing became a rattling wheeze. "No-" He coughed with the effort of speaking. "She wouldn't!" His face went pale and he fell back limply at the pain.

Sawbones' took the letter from his friend and told him not to speak. Wordsmith read the letter to see what had his friend so bothered. His face went pale and he sighed. He knew right away the whole situation, and his heart bled for his friend. "Oh Carte. I'm so sorry old colt. But these things do happen. Mares can be capricious don't you know. a terr.-" A hoof across his muzzle sent him sprawling into his bed.

Haycarte was on his hooves, his breathing ragged but pain forgotten. His normally hard voice was now a seething growl. "Don't you dare call her capricious you son of a bitch. That mare dove into the water to save me this evening. Name one of your 'ladies of the evening' who would do the same for you." He coughed hard trying to regain his breath. "That mare LOVES me. Something you'd know nothing about."

Wordsmith regained his hooves and rounded on the wounded earth pony. "You forget yourself sir! I've romanced more mares than you can count. My tongue and my quill drip with desire. The inner workings of the hearts of ponies are my bread and butter." He shoved Haycarte onto the bed and grabbed the letters. "You who've latched onto this one mare can't accept the fact that she's got better options than you. And the proof is right here." He slapped the acceptance letter down on the table. "Those transfer requests would've taken weeks to process and return. She's been planning this for a while, and the sooner you accept that the sooner you can move on."

"Yes because that's worked so well for you hasn't it? Just toss away mares like so many love letters. Everything is a passing fancy to you. That's what you know of romance and it's disgusting." Haycarte wheezed from his prone position.

Wordsmith'd had enough he swung at Haycartes but his hoof was caught by Sawbones in his magic. He bellowed still in his irrefutable medical command voice. "Enough both of you. Carte, lay down. Smith, Sunday spot, cider, an hour."

The two arguers never broke eye contact. "What was her name Smith? Do you even know?"

"Shut up Carte." Sawbones barked. "Smith go." Wordsmith had been about to reply but the order from Sawbones stopped him. He had heard the slightest but if pain creep into the command and he was surprised to see tears in the corners of the medical students eyes. He knocked the acceptance letter off the table and stormed out. Sawbones sighed heavily and looked back to the bed. Haycartes was gone. He dashed into the hall to find his stricken friend limping away.

"CARTE! Get your ass back here!" He called out, but the stalwart earth pony kept limping away. He trotted up along side him.

"She swore to me. Have to.-" his breath was coming in ragged tears and he couldn't finish.

A splitting pain brought Haycartes to his knees. Sawbones was grinding his hoof into his broken ribs. "You're going to the hospital Carte." He rose and tried to continue, but another firm press and the wounded pony collapsed from the pain. Sawbones sighed heavily, he hoisted the limp pony on to his shoulders and carried him downstairs to the waiting EMTS

Sawbones saw them off and watched them run off down the road for a long while. He'd been woken up, had to yell at his oldest friend, and had to be cruel to help his other friend. He desperately needed a drink. An hour later he was with Wordsmith at their Sunday spot.

Wordsmith was pacing like a caged animal around Sawbones. His complaints echoed across the mountainside. Their usual spot was deserted at this hour so the medical student let the poet vent his frustration. Their usual tradition of Wordsmith drinking four or five of their six packs had been reversed. Wordsmith was too busy cursing his dorm mate to drink, so Sawbones put down his fourth bottle and reached for a fifth. He lay lazily on the grass looking up at the sky, and thought to himself just how nice the stars look at this spot, they'd have to do this more often.

"The nerve of that stallion. Can you believe what he said to me? ME! He gets in one little crush and suddenly he's the expert. The nerve I say." Wordsmith tried to take a swig from his first bottle but a thought interrupted him. "And you saw the letter surely you agree what that means don't you old colt. The nerve of that stallion." He finally took a second sip.

"Yup." Was the medical student's only reply when the poet stopped for air.

"And I mean I didn't say it to dissuade the pony, not to depress him. I love the old colt. He's a good fellow, a profound sense of justice and all that rot. I just didn't want him to do something foalish, or embarrass himself. This is his first love Sawbones, pony's do all sorts of silly things for first loves." That last statement pricked at the other unicorn's slightly tipsy mind.

"You have no idea." He finished his fifth cider.

"That stallion has truly gone too far." He put on his terrible impression of Haycarte's hard voice. "That's what you know of love and it's disgusting. The NERVE!"

"Well he is right you know. You are kind of a dumbass at love." The medical student said grabbing his friends barely touched cider.

Wordsmith was stunned. He stood there mouth agape for several seconds. His oldest friend who'd never spoken an ill word against him had just cut him to his very core. "Excuse you? You? The positively hopeless with the fairer sex. You say that I'm not a romantic."

"I do." He sipped his friends cider to punctuate the point. "Now I grant you're an expert seducer, there's no arguing that, but really my friend, you have no concept of love."

"Has Equestria gone mad, really old colt you-." He was interrupted as Sawbones continued.

"That stallion." He pointed with his bottle. "Smiled three times this semester. Then he meets her and he's not stopped smiling since."

Wordsmith processed this for a second. "Well I mean, I don't doubt that he loves.-"

"While you on the other hand have never slept with the same mare twice." He sipped his drink.

"Now SEE HERE!" Wordsmith snapped to his hooves.

Sawbones looked hard at his friend. "What was her name Smith?"

The poet tried to give a snap response but it hit him that he had no idea. "A rose by any other."

"Oh fuck off!" Sawbones said, finishing his stolen drink. "Smith can't you see? Don't you get it. You don't have a fuckin clue what love is and what Roané has is it! He's willing to be expelled, hell he'd probably move to Prançe to be with her." The medical student got shakily to his hooves. "You talk about love ad nauseum though you never bother to write anything down. You've certainly never had it."

His voice started to crack with emotion. "You've never sat and pined and longed silently in the dark. With them always within reach but never yours." Sawbones trotted a few steps away not looking at his friend.

Wordsmith was dumbfounded. The poet was being schooled in the ways of love by the stallion who was utterly hopeless with the fairer sex. "Well my colt you certainly make it sound like you have."

The medical scrubs green unicorn plopped heavily down onto the grass. "Well the fact that you haven't noticed only proves my point." He picked through the empty bottles, disappointed they were out of cider. "You're a hypocrite of the highest order Smith. A seducer who calls himself a lover."

Wordsmith'd had enough abuse that evening. "Well if I'm such an odious pony to you why do you bother maintaining our acquaintance?"

Sawbones rolled over to face his friend. He gave the poet a look that he instantly recognized. The serious staring look of a pony about to say something terribly flattering. It was a face he'd worn many a time, and it terrified him to see it on his friend now.

"Because you're a beautiful stallion." Sawbones resumed his hooves.

"Because you see the beauty in everything around you." He took a step towards him.

"Because your words move my soul to joy or to some grand action, or to tears" Wordsmith was terrified. Sawbones was playing straight from his playbook like an expert. And what was worse. It was working. He tried to back away from the advancing stallion but his hooves failed him and he sprawled backwards on the grass, hooves raised defensively.

"Because you've always been there for me when I needed you, and you've always needed me. The poet's mind went hazy around the edges.

"Because you've made me the stallion I am today." Sawbones was now standing over Wordsmith, they're faces inches apart.

"Because. . . " It was Wordsmith who grabbed Sawbones face and pulled him down into the kiss.

Author's Note

And then gay things happened