Taming Strange. Or: How I learned to stop worrying and make love in public

Roané Haycartes unintentionally lived like an ancient Atheneighan stoic. His move into his new dorm was the easiest anypony had ever seen. The entirety of his worldly possessions consisted of the thread bare saddle bags we are acquainted with, and his new school books that nearly burst them.

He flopped them unceremoniously on the vacant desk of room 420, and looked around his new home. The room was pleasantly symmetrical as one side mirrored the other perfectly. Two desks, one covered in colorful scented notes and various literature textbooks, one bathroom shared by the dorm on the other side, and the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, two beds, one covered in monogrammed sheets and blankets, the other bare.

He walked over to the bare mattress. If Haycartes knew how to cry he would have. He tested it's resistance. Yes it was a brand new bed, soft yet firm. It was the most comfortable thing he had ever felt. The stallion didn't have any classes until the day after tomorrow and with his move in completed he flopped onto his bed and fell asleep instantly, door left open as he found it, not a care in the world.

Several hours later, after the sun had gone to its own rest a pair of ponies stumbled in through the still open door without disconnecting faces. The creamy blue unicorn stallion with practiced eased bucked the door shut with one leg. The giggling couple fell together onto the bed and began to get thoroughly acquainted.

The mare let out small moans as the stallion went about his work. The pony asleep on the other bed just on the other side of the room had no knowledge of this exchange as he continued to sleep like a log. The romantically involved ponies didn't notice him sleeping there either. They were too caught up in their own affairs.

Throughout three separate sessions, giggles, moans, and whispered sweet nothings included, neither party was made aware of the other. Even when the mare finally managed to pry herself away from the amorous stallion to leave, neither pony noticed Haycartes' sleeping form. As the two kissed goodnight, whispering a few parting amours and shut the door still the unicorn didn't notice the Earth pony.

The expression goes that "if it had been a snake it would have bit you". But in this case the snake would have gotten tired of biting and slithered away. The unobservant roommate began to mock waltz around the room pantomiming the evening the two had spent together. In his drunken revolutions he had mistaken which side of the room he was facing and plopped down on the wrong bed. Before he could notice the lack of bedding he noticed he was muzzle to muzzle with another pony.

He screamed which woke Haycartes with a scream. The volume of which startled the unicorn into screaming again. Having a screaming pony right in front of him startled the earth pony into screaming yet again. The unicorn scrambled off the bed and his horn flared to life menacingly. "Who are you?!" He cried.

The earth pony lept of the bed and assumed an aggressive posture. "Who are you? He snapped. A hoof pointing accusingly at the unicorn.

"When did you get here?" The awakener shouted without answering the first question.

"When did YOU get here?" The awakened shouted just as impassible.

"Is there an echo in here?" The unicorn asked rhetorically.

The door to the bathroom burst open and a medical scrubs green unicorn shouted. "WILL YOU TWO STOP SHOUTING AT THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING?! Smith this is Roané Haycartes, your new roommate. He's been here all evening you just didn't notice. Roané this is Wordsmith, your roommate. He got in a few hours ago."

Haycartes didn't usually curse but having been awakened so rudely had him on edge. "Well who the fuck are you then?"

The new unicorn adopted a professional air. "Oh Sawbones, pre med, pleased to meet you." He said shaking the earth pony's hoof any hostility disappeared. "Please excuse me for shouting but it's very early don't you know."

"Of course, and likewise for my profanity. Haycartes replied, usual demeanor resumed. "And Smith was it?" He said extending a hoof to the other unicorn.

Wordsmith had been gawking at the dramatic shift in mood, but rallied at the opportunity to brag. "Yes Wordsmith, poet laureate, serial marenator, positive scoundrel, and all around good fellow." He said striking a theatrical pose.

"And humble as all get out." Sawbones sighed ironically. "Well gentlecolts I'm off to bed try to keep it down until morning." With that the medical student started to walk away.

"I say what do you have going tomorrow old Colt?" The self proclaimed poet laureate called after his friend.

"Volunteering at the nurses station till late. I'll meet up with you at the pub." The door closed after the retreating pony in a faint magical glow.

"Good show!" He said, now turning to his new roommate. "A bit timid with the fairer sex but a stout fellow. Terribly sorry for the mix up but you umm." The unicorn trailed off thinking of how best to approach the subject. "What all did you. . . see my colt?"

"Elaborate on the question." Haycartes said, normal direct tone fully resumed.

"Err well you say you didn't see anything before our little introduction yes?" The poet queried uncomfortably

"I was asleep until you woke me yes. Why? " the Earth pony replied.

"Ah good Colt!" The indiscrete pony winked conspiratorially. "A gentlecolt doesn't kiss and tell eh? Good show." He trotted over to his bed. "Well I'm useless till afternoon anyway. Good night old chap." He got under his blankets and noticed the sparsity of his roommates bed. "I say old colt, where is your bedding?"

The stoic earth pony answered directly and uninterestedly as was his fashion. "I have none."

The poet cocked his head to the side. "Oh that simply won't do. Here take my spares, I'll not take no for an answer." He floated two sheets, a pillow, and a blanket from off of a high shelf and made Roané's bed for him.

The earth pony was touched by the unicorn's generosity, and bowed. "Thank you sir." Haycartes said as he melted into the covers.

The generous pony yawned."Think nothing of it old colt." He rolled over. "Oh by the by." But Haycartes was already fast asleep. Wordsmith chuckled to himself. "This old chap seems like fun."