B.E.A.N.S.L.A.Y.E.R.S.

Aria Blaze was bored.

She was always bored, but this was more so. This was enough boredom to make her understand why her sister- and fellow immortal- kept trying to commit suicide.

It sucked.

Okay, to be fair, there were worse ways to spend a bright, summer, Saturday morning than visiting the Canterlot Museum of Natural History and its air-conditioned halls. The murmurs of the crowd weren't completely deafening, and the light pouring in through the windows just beneath the domed roof was only slightly obnoxious as it reflected off the marble floor and glass display cases. Just don't touch the velvet ropes. There was enough dust coating those pieces of crap that they probably counted as exhibits themselves.

Aria blinked, her eyes refocusing on their tour guide's next stop.

“-And now if you look over there,” the young woman continued in monotone, “You'll see our largest sample of porphyritic rock. Try not to take it for granite.”

That pun alone almost made Aria regret coming, and she never regretted anything. Not even creating disco.

Without thinking, Aria let her mouth fall open into a yawn. That got the attention of her companion.

Juniper Montage giggled and elbowed her friend in the ribs. A good-natured blow, but one Juniper was clearly not used to making because she hit just a little too hard. “Looks like someone needs some more sleep,” she said, eyes sparkling. “Rarity keeping you awake?”

“Yep.” Aria muttered, rubbing her bruised side. “Not how I'd like, but, yeah.”

Juniper slowed down as their group moved towards the next section of the museum. “We could leave if you want. Or-” She paused. Her carefully plucked eyebrows pinched together. “Whaddya mean, not how you want?”

The question made Aria's stomach curl, though she knew from experience that Juniper wouldn't drop it. The girl could be a stubborn bitch. It was one of her better qualities.

“Nothing,” Aria grunted. “Don't worry about it. All relationships have rough patches.”

There was a moment of silence- well, silence between the two of them- as the tour guide showed off one of the museum's dinosaur skeletons. But she quickly started rambling about the process of fossilization, and Juniper turned back to her friend.

“So is this like, a normal person rough patch?” she asked. “Like, somebody didn't take out the trash or forgot to do the dishes? Or is this a rough patch rough patch?”

Aria rolled her eyes. “I told you, it's nothing important.” She crossed her arms with a huff, and shifted her weight to her heels.

Juniper's eyes were piercing behind her glasses.

Under that kind of gaze, Aria managed to hold herself together for a good twenty seconds, which was a new record.

“It's just- I've never. You know. Been good at this shit.” She waved one hand through the air, gesturing vaguely at everything. “Relationships. People. Sticking around. This is the longest I've been with anyone, and the first time I've had a-” Aria made air quotes. “-'Girlfriend'. It feels like it's only a matter of time before it falls apart and I'm like, ninety percent sure it'll be my fault.” She breathed deep and exhaled slowly. “So things are a little stressful around Rarity right now.”

Juniper blinked. “Wow. Have you tried, you know, talking to Rarity about it?”

Aria nodded. “Yes. No. She knows that I have issues with this.”

The group shuffled onward to a room about the Pleistocene era, dominated by a large mastodon statue. Aria idly noted that several people had abandoned the stifling tour already.

Juniper waited a minute before speaking again. “Sounds like you're overthinking it,” she observed.

Aria shrugged. “Probably. Which means I'll have to be the one to apologize. Any suggestions?”

“Nope!” her friend replied cheerfully. “Sounds like a major pain in the ass. I'll trade ya, though.”

“Trade? What problems are you having?”

It was Juniper's turn to shrug. “Nothing too serious. Just writer's block.”

Aria winced. Program script writing and... well, script writing... weren't the same. Actually, they were barely comparable at all. But still, she knew what it was like to be stuck on a project.

“So is this about that Beanis TV show?” she ventured.

“Yee-ess?” Juniper drew the word out. “Kinda? We- we don't have to talk about it if you don't-”

Aria waved a hand. “Beanis only destroyed my family's company. I hated working there anyway. Now talk.”

“Okay, I just think it's a little silly compared to your stuff.”

“Talk.”

“Fine.” Juniper looked towards the ceiling and squinted. “It was originally supposed to be just the one show, but you know Twilight. She does everything in excess.”

“Don't tell me-”

“She bought a whole television network,” Juniper sighed. She fiddled with the pin on her lapel. “Now I've got to come up with enough material to fill all those time slots and it's hard.”

Aria pondered that. “You can't use those slots to air other people's shows? Put on re-runs or something?”

“Nope.” Juniper shook her head. “In spite of how popular Beanis brand products are, we're still making-” She paused and looked around, but they'd fallen behind the group and were, for the most part, alone. “We make sex toys. That scares away a lot of other producers and copyright holders. They don't want to be associated with us.”

“That makes sense,” Aria grunted. “So you have to make...”

“Seven days in a week, 24 hours in a day, but we can get away with repeat airings and playing infomercials between around 10 PM and 5 AM. There's also going to be news hours in the morning and evening, but that still leaves one hundred and five hours of entertainment. Per week.” Juniper sucked in air, letting it out slow so her cheeks puffed. “So far I've filled about... I think seventy or so? There's been a lot of filling.”

“That's what she said,” Aria said automatically. Juniper just looked at her tiredly, so she switched mental tracks. “Have you thought about just, I dunno, airing porn? It'd fit with the brand.”

Juniper huffed. “I asked. Twilight said she wanted to keep it, and I quote, 'family friendly to attract a larger audience'.”

Aria blinked. “How-”

“I don't fucking know!” Juniper whisper-shrieked, attracting the attention of an older couple that had been looking at a saber-toothed cat. Aria glared back at them while Juniper did some kind of breathing exercise. “I'm okay,” she said a moment later. “I'm okay. I've been doing tai-chi to try and get rid of the writer's block, but the techniques work great for general stress, too.”

“That's good,” Aria said. She kept an eye on the two fossils until they moved out of sight. “I'm not sure I'll be any help to you, but you're welcome to call at any time.”

“Thanks.” Juniper smiled brilliantly. “Y'know, I'm glad you and I met.”

Aria snorted. “Even though I accidentally deleted your script?”

“Well, I mean.” Juniper giggled. “It would've been nice if we could've met without that. But it was worth it.”

A rare, non-evil grin spread over Aria's face. So this was what true friendship was like, she mused. It really was different from hanging around with her sisters.

Aria thought back to meeting Juniper for the first time. She was in the middle of upgrading Beanis, Inc.'s security software and accidentally caused a system-wide reset which set everything back about six hours. While she was doing the recovery work, Aria had been accosted by a short, somewhat dowdy chick in pigtails and horn-rim glasses. Juniper had been working on her original TV show pitch at the time everything went to hell, and was seriously pissed off that all her hard work was gone.

That lasted as long as it took her to notice that Aria was watching Citizen Colt as she worked. Juniper immediately switched to delight at having found someone else who appreciated classic cinema. When she found out that both of them had tried to use stolen Equestrian magic to gain power and fame and were defeated by the Rainbooms as a result? Well, that sealed the deal.

The voice of their tour guide brought Aria back to the present, and her smile faded.

“-About halfway through,” the woman was saying. She'd stopped in front of a room that advertised 'Primordial Plants'. “If you thought the first half was good, just wait. This second part really... rocks.”

Aria closed her eyes, letting out her breath as a combination groan-sigh that perfectly expressed her exasperation with this ordeal. She slowly blinked, feeling the dizziness of air loss, knowing that not even suffocating herself would end it. Aria breathed, letting the dark spots fade out of her vision. She became aware of Juniper holding her bicep.

“You okay?” Juniper asked.

Aria nodded. But Juniper looked closer, and her eyes softened. “You're bored, too, huh.”

Too?

Aria looked into her friend's eyes. “Tell me we haven't both been avoiding saying something because we thought the other wanted to be here?”

“Okay.” Juniper said. “We haven't been doing that.”

Aria groaned aloud this time, not caring who heard anymore. “What the hell are we even doing then? Let's ditch this-” She paused. “Well, I was going to call it a drag show, but those are fun. This is shit.”

“Yeah.” Juniper pointed to a doorway on the left. “There's one thing over there that I actually want to see, and then we can leave. Go catch a movie or something.”

“Sounds good.” Aria was so relieved to be done with the museum tour that she would've agreed to just about anything.

The two of them squeezed around a couple of larger tourists and headed into the hallway. It was much less crowded, much less heated. The exhibits stood out more. Aria didn't care. One stop and-

Juniper stopped abruptly, and Aria bounced off her back. “Ta-da!” she cheered. “My dad told me about this. It's brand new.”

Aria took a step back and peered at the sign. This part of the hallway was pretty dark, but she could just make out the letters, large and all caps.

THE BEAN WING.

“What.”

Juniper nodded enthusiastically. “I wanted to see if this would give me some ideas.” She breathed deeply through her nose. “I can already feel the beany knowledge seeping in.”

“All I smell is sawdust and machine oil,”Aria retorted. She glanced through the archway, then at a much smaller sign strung in front of it. “I'm pretty sure this thing is still under construction.”

“What? No.” Juniper frowned. “Dad said they'd be done by this weekend.”

Aria just pointed to the sign.

It said: 'Under Construction'.

“Shit!” Juniper hissed. “Fuck! Shit-fuck! Goddammit dad!” She squeezed her eyes shut and did her breathing exercise. “Damn. I was really hoping to see it today.”

Aria crossed her arms. “So... your dad's on the construction crew?”

“Nah,” Juniper sighed. “The museum board. He seemed so sure though.” She crept closer to the arch and squinted at the blackness within. “You know, since I am the daughter of a board member, we might be able to get away with going in anyway...”

Aria thought about it. “What would they even do if they caught us? Give us a fine? We're rich.”

“Sort of rich,” Juniper corrected. But she was chuckling. “I don't know if it's worth the risk.”

They both stood there a moment longer. Aria's patience wore out first. “Well,” she said, “If we're not going in, we should just go. See if we can't catch some seats for Captain Mare-vel or something.”

“Yeah, okay.” Juniper fished her phone out of her purse and looked at the screen. “We might not have time to grab popcorn, but maybe-”

She was cut off by Aria's hand clamping over her mouth. “Shhh,” the siren hushed. Then Aria cupped a hand to her ear. A moment later she heard it clearly, and by the expression on her face, so did Juniper.

It was the sound of metal striking stone. Like something had fallen over onto the marble floor. And it came from deep inside the Bean Wing.