B.E.A.N.S.L.A.Y.E.R.S.

Once upon a time, when she and her sisters lived in Equestria, Aria had the opportunity to visit the kingdom of Griffonstone at the height of its glory. The griffons built houses around their nests, and they liked to show off. Walking down the streets that were literally paved with gold, each house got bigger than the next, all the way to the palace of King Grover. The palace had been revered as the most beautiful building in all of Equestria.

Had Aria been able to pick up Fancy Pants' mansion and plop it down next to Grover's palace, the title would've changed hands.

The driveway of crushed, pink sea shells wound between carefully manicured bushes that belonged in an art gallery. There was a servant's house off to the side, no longer in use but still maintained. It would've cost Aria's entire Toyfussy settlement and then some to purchase its equal. For the house itself...

Big. That was the main impression. Like standing at the foot of a mountain range and looking up and realizing that the peaks were touching the clouds. It was simply too big to fully comprehend, fully appreciate. All Aria knew was that there were towers and columns and everything was bright white except the roof which was a dark shade of blue. There were dormers stacked on top of dormers, and carved decorative pieces hung off every surface, covered in gold leaf and polished to a shine.

The place had swag and swagger to spare.

Juniper just gaped. “It looks like he was doing pretty well before he got the bean.”

Aria agreed. She couldn't help but whistle around her chewing gum as she got out of the car. The two of them drank in the sight as A.K. Yearling parked her Lexus next to them in the drive. The luxury car looked outdated next to the Lamborghinis and Teslas sitting in the open garage. Aria glanced at her own Porsche and died a little on the inside.

Three thousand years, I've had, she cursed. I ought to have saved some gold instead of wasting it on stupid shit.

The one thing that truly unnerved Aria, as she tramped up the front steps with Juniper and A.K., was the lack of visible security. The gate they passed through had been decorative; there was no fence. And now at the house, there wasn't a single camera or sensor. Just a large, antique brass knocker. Aria reached for it.

But before she could even lift it, Juniper pushed the modern doorbell. The sound of a trumpet- or maybe a bugle? Some kind of horn- immediately assaulted their ears. The sound bounced off the tree-line and could probably be heard throughout the mansion. Unlike the knocker. That didn't stop Aria from being disappointed.

She retreated with crossed arms and glared at the door. A minute or so after the horn faded, twelve feet of solid spruce swung inward on squeaking hinges.

However, they were not greeted by the butler Aria was expecting. Instead, a beautiful young woman smiled at them from inside. “Please, come in,” she said, her voice slightly accented. Prench, Aria believed. “My name is Fleur. The mayor will be with you shortly.”

Fleur was tall and willowy, with pink tresses hanging all the way to her lower back. She looked like a model, moved like a dancer, and examined each of them with the shrewd eyes of a professional interior designer. Aria was frankly envious. But, she noted, Fleur was stronger than she looked to have opened that door. Said door swung shut behind them with a THOOM.

The three visitors stood awkwardly in the entrance hall, gawking at the paintings, the high ceilings, the detailed architecture. Fleur busied herself with tying up one of the floor-length green curtains that adorned the sides of the gargantuan windows. Apparently the knot hadn't been strong enough to hold the five tons of fabric in place, and it fell closed.

It was indeed a short time before a door at the top of the stairs opened, and out stepped Canterlot's mayor. Fancy Pants was every inch the picture of nobility. A James Bond-esque suit was tight across his broad shoulders, his hair slicked back in the unique style sported by everyone willing to blow five hundred dollars on a haircut. He carried with him a silver-headed cane. A perfectly trimmed mustache and a monocle over his right eye completed the look.

It was, Aria grudgingly admitted, a good look. She wanted to hate it, to hate this very rich and powerful man, but she couldn't. Where a lesser person would've come across as a pretentious prick, Fancy's compassionate smile was instantly disarming. There was something about him. Maybe it was his mustache, Aria thought. It was a very trustworthy mustache.

“Welcome!” he called out. His voice was calm, but carried effortlessly. “I see you've already met my companion, Fleur.” The young woman turned away from the Lover's Knot she'd just finished tying and batted her eyes at him, clearly head over- Holy shit those shoes are gorgeous!- heels.

Fancy made his way down the stairs, his steps quick and precise. He reached the bottom and held out a hand. Politician, Aria reminded herself.

A.K. was the first to take his hand. “Thank you for seeing us,” she said.

“Nonsense!” Fancy's smile became more excited. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Yearling. I've been a fan of your books since I was a child.” At that, Yearling's professional demeanor dropped for a second, her eyes sparkling.

Then Fancy turned to Juniper. “If I'm not mistaken, you're Canter Zoom's niece?” Juniper squeaked and blushed as she shook his hand. “Yes, I saw you at one of his movie premiers. I remember thinking, 'What wonders will she bring to the silver screen?'”

Finally he looked at Aria. And faltered. “And you- erm...”

“Aria,” Aria said. She popped a gum-bubble. She reluctantly shook hands with the mayor. “I do machines.”

“Ah! Of course.” Fancy nodded. “The 'tech-guru'. I imagine you have your hands full helping these two.”

Aria couldn't help a small laugh. “Abso-frickin-lutely.”

As Fancy let go of her hand, A.K. stepped forward. “We're actually here about an artifact you've recently acquired.”

The mayor chuckled and spread his arms, careful to avoid smacking anyone with the cane. “I am afraid you'll have to be more specific, Miss Yearling. I am constantly acquiring new pieces. The house is very empty, and the Historical Society refuses to let me rent rooms.” He leaned in and stage whispered, “If I am honest, Fleur handles most of the acquisitions anyway.” He winked.

The group just shuffled awkwardly. Fancy coughed into his fist. “Ahem. So... which artifact is it?”

A.K. opened her mouth, then hesitated. “It's... Well, it's-”

“It's a bean!” Juniper blurted out. A.K. sent an annoyed glance her way, but Juniper didn't notice. “A bean necklace.”

Fancy blinked. “Strange,” he murmured. Then he shook his head. “I know it. Follow me, please. Fleur?” he said as he turned. “Please prepare some drinks for our guests.”

Fleur nodded. “Hall D?”

“That's the one.”

Fancy paused at the foot of the steps and looked back at the group. “Do try to keep up. It would be far too easy for you to get lost.”

A.K. immediately set off behind Fancy with a quick stride. Aria glanced at Juniper. “After you,” her friend said. Aria sighed and started up the stairs.

Aria barely paid attention to where they were walking. All of the dimly lit hallways began to blend together, and she understood what Fancy meant about the house being empty. So many rooms were closed off, and when Juniper asked what was inside them, Fancy responded simply: “Nothing.”

Eventually they actually got close to their destination, because Fancy slowed his pace considerably. He fell into step beside A.K.. “This necklace,” he inquired. “Is it particularly valuable?”

A.K. grunted distractedly. “I doubt you overpaid for it, if that's what you're wondering. The Beans were expertly crafted. And as collectors items... They are certainly unique.”

Fancy shook his head. “I'm actually wondering what your interest in it is, Miss Yearling. I wasn't aware that the piece had much history.”

“Quite a long one, actually.”

“Indeed? I'd love to hear about it.”

A.K. smirked. “I suppose you'll have to purchase my next book, then. No spoilers, even for the mayor.”

He laughed. “Of course, of course. It's just remarkable to me that, weeks after I purchased it, I received two viewing requests on the same day!”

“Yes, that is a bit-” A.K. did a double take. “Two?”

Fancy stopped in front of the next doorway. “See for yourself.”

A.K. marched forward and came to a screeching halt. “You!” she blurted.

Aria frowned and peered into the room. It appeared to be all jewelry, the shelves and tables covered in velvet and shielded by glass. There were no windows; light from ancient incandescent bulbs sparkled off the pieces. Everything was bathed in a soft rainbow.

Standing in the middle of the room was a man. He was tall and slender, well dressed in a rich green suit with a grape-colored dress shirt. He'd taken the jacket off and it was draped over his shoulder. The remains of a white bow tie hung loose from his collar.

He turned when he heard them. “Back already, Mister-”

He stopped, looking startled. Then he quickly collected himself. “Greetings,” he said. “You can call me Que.”

Aria barely heard. Forget his clothes- the man himself was breathtaking. That flowing orange hair, that smooth complexion... his skin was the color of a honeydew melon she and Rarity had shared a few days ago, the sweet nectar of its flesh a perfect aphrodisiac. His features were chiseled like a Roman statue. His lips were tight, but quirked into a confident smile. Laugh lines surrounded his elderberry eyes.

Aria glanced over at their new author friend. “Yo, A.K.. You know this guy?”

Yearling was staring at the man with undisguised rage. “We've met,” she said tersely.

Okay, then. Aria shrugged and turned her attention to the room. It was hard to keep focused. Lots of pretty jewelry, but they only cared about one in particular. It was in there somewhere...

The tension in the room grew to palpable levels as A.K. continued to glare. Que wasn't helping. As much as he was clearly trying to ignore A.K., he kept looking over at her.

Juniper sidestepped over to stand next to Que. “Sooooo,” she began. “You're here for the Bean, too?”

Que looked down at her, the slight widening of his eyes the only indication of surprise this time. “Yes, that's right. I couldn't help looking at the rest of the collection, though.”

“Cool, cool.” Juniper glanced over her shoulder and met Aria's eyes. She angled her head at Que, as if to ask, What's the deal? Aria just shrugged. She had bigger issues to focus on.

There- right in the center of the opposite wall. Aria ambled over, taking care not to move too quickly. They didn't want to arouse suspicion. She sensed A.K. behind her, moving even slower. Aria stepped around a smaller podium, before coming to a halt in front of the right case. She leaned over and peered inside.

It was easy to pick out which necklace they were after. Even though they looked very different, both Beans had the same unnatural glow.

The Tepary Bean sat in the front; it was slightly bigger than their Fava Bean, and more ovular than kidney-shaped. It was hard to tell that it was supposed to be a bean. The jewel was orange, and set directly in the golden filigree, rather than dangling as a pendant. It wasn't a necklace Aria would choose to wear.

Fancy cleared his throat, catching all of their attentions. Aria noticed that his smile seemed a bit more forced as he stepped into the room. “So, this Bean. If I am remembering correctly, it was purchased in an estate sale.” He scratched his chin. “The previous owner had moved to Canterlot from somewhere south, and passed away earlier this year. His son ordered the liquidation of all assets, apparently more concerned with money than having something to remember his father by.” Fancy shook his head. “Sad.”

Aria let his words flow in one ear and out the other. She was focused on the jewelry case, instead. There was no visible lock, no visible cameras, no visible sensors. No power cords or electrical lines running into it. Either the security was battery powered and well-hidden... Or there was no security.

Juniper eased in beside her. “So? Whaddya think?”

Aria frowned. “Fancy seems way too trusting. We're going to have to take this one, too.”

Juniper's mouth forming into an 'O'. “That's... not what I meant. But- I mean, do we really?”

“Yeah.” Aria said. “The Bean isn't safe here. It'd be a cake-walk to steal.”

“Well, that's good for us,” Juniper shrugged.

Aria nodded.

A knock at the door made her look up. Fleur stood there, with a small push-cart in front of her. “Refreshments?” she offered.

The four of them all closed in.

On the cart was an assortment of drinks. Pitchers of water, iced tea, and lemonade, but also cans of soda and energy drinks. A platter full of mini-sandwiches was also included.

“I wasn't sure if you'd be hungry, but I decided to bring some hors d'oeuvres, just in case!” Fleur flashed a satisfied smile.

“Thank you!” Juniper snatched up one of the sandwiches.

Aria elected to keep her chewing gum and instead popped the top on a can of Monster Energy. One sip and she was AWAKE. It's just a placebo. But knowing that didn't make it not work.

They all stood in silence for a moment, eating and drinking. Even then, Aria noticed A.K. shooting looks at Que. Fancy and Fleur seemed unsure what to do with the silent, awkward group.

Aria was just starting to reconsider her position on the sandwiches when the sound of a horn echoed into the room. It was the doorbell.

Fancy looked relieved. “Please, continue snacking,” he told them. “I'll see who it is.”

Once he was gone, Aria nudged Juniper and A.K.. The three of them backed away from the cart and started walking the room again.

“So what's the deal with you and handsome?” Juniper said after a while.

Yearling glanced back, her expression now more troubled than angry. She seemed hesitant to speak.

“You fucked him,” Aria guessed.

“N-no!” Yearling's cheeks colored. “Absolutely not. My relationship with that man has always been strictly professional.”

Juniper looked back at Que doubtfully. “Then you guys are just... ex-coworkers?”

A.K. squirmed and adjusted her shawl. “Something like that. But if he's here... let's just say that things aren't going to go the way we planned.”

“What do you mean by tha-”

Before Aria could finish, Fancy Pants reappeared in the doorway. His smile was gone, replaced by vague annoyance and confusion.

“You won't believe this,” he said, “But there is a third group here to see the Bean.”

Aria had a sinking feeling as Fancy stepped to the side for this third group.

A feeling that was completely justified.

Three young women marched around the corner. Each wore a grin that could best be described as vicious. Each, Aria knew.

Adagio.

Trixie.

And bringing up the rear, a purple haired girl in a cloak with crazed eyes that must've been Glimmer.

Aria's grip tightened, crushing her can. They were too late.