Frenefits

Waking up smiling wasn’t an experience Jason had ever had before, but like last night, it was a first time experience he enjoyed.

He hadn’t realized how tired he really was until after Diane left, when he got up to clean himself and do the nightly routine he usually did before going to sleep, all the endorphins and adrenaline ran out and his exhaustion hit him at once. His eyelids got heavy and his arms and legs got weak, it was a struggle to brush his teeth.

He had nothing else on his mind but falling asleep, and as soon as he was done and his head hit the pillow, he was out. He didn’t have time to think of much else, but the first thing he thought of when he woke up was the night have passion he spent with Diane before, and he couldn’t help but smile.

Then he felt the soreness, mostly in his lower body, an unpleasant sensation he was going to have to deal with throughout the day.

He rose out of his bed with a sluggish groan, his mouth dry from dehydration and still feeling groggy, but the satisfied smirk was still on his face.

You deserve better.

Diane’s words came to the forefront of his thoughts, lingering like she had just said them. He registered her words when he heard them, but hadn’t had time to think what she meant. She had said that right before he was going to confess, even he could tell that wasn’t a coincidence, she was too smart to not know that. She also seemed to be in a hurry to leave after that, when she was so comfortable before, he really could have stayed like that with her forever.

The words she said bothered him too, the tone she said them in sounded like it hurt her to say.

*Deserve someone better? Does she really think so little of herself? She’s amazing, why can’t she see that?*

He looked over to his nightstand, grabbing the water bottle he placed there last night. He drank from it and noticed the condom he left there that didn’t get used, he opened the drawer and tossed it in there, in case Diane would actually let him put it on next time.

*If there is a next time…*

He eyed his phone that was also left on the nightstand, the only thing left on there. He placed the water bottle back on the nightstand and snatched it, turning it on and not really being surprised he didn’t get any messages, he usually didn’t.

He typed in his password and went to Diane’s contact, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. He had a very strong urge to text her, it didn’t feel right leaving things off like he did, and he was worried about her. Worried about why she suddenly left, and, even if it was just because he was paranoid, finishing inside her made him feel anxious. She said she was on birth control, but he’d heard stories of it not being reliable and a baby happens anyway, he couldn’t help but worry about it.

Then he remembered what she told him about texting her, that she was busy throughout the day and couldn’t respond until later. Messaging her now would not only be pointless, but would just make him worry more. He’d check his phone every other minute hoping she’d respond, she likely never would until later into the day. Jason also knew he would just end up annoying her, coming off as desperate or making her worried about him.

If I want to talk, I’ll talk, I’m very simple like that.

He sighed as he turned off his phone, he wasn’t going to ask her about something that clearly made her upset. He’d leave her alone and text her later that night, if she wanted to talk to him about it, she’d bring it up. He didn’t know how to talk about it at all, if he tried to bring it up, it’d probably just make things worse.

He stood from the bed and stretched, his legs shaking a bit as he tried to ignore the dull soreness in his legs, he could already tell it was going to be a long day.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That had all happened Saturday, and she hadn’t texted him even once. It made him extremely worried and anxious, even more so than usual. On Sunday he had decided to risk it and text her, she read the message, but hadn’t responded.

He’d like to believe she was just busy, but that wasn’t the case and he knew it. Now it was Monday and he had to go to school, trying to do his best to keep it in the back of his mind. He was going to try texting her again before he went to bed, if she didn’t respond, he would try calling her. He would feel like he was annoying her, but he had to at least try.

And if she didn’t respond to that either, he was going to try to go to the alleyway and hope she was there. If she wasn’t and she kept ignoring him, he’d have to give up, what else could he do?

He went to the library like he usually did during breakfast, this time he felt a bit more peckish than usual and grabbed a bagel. He finished it rather quickly, it was more than enough to get him through until lunch. He was wearing the same hoodie he did yesterday, though he had to wear different jeans for...obvious reasons, at least until he got around to doing laundry.

The real problem was keeping him occupied until then, if he let his thoughts drift, he’d end up worrying about Diane again. He usually spent most of his days just letting his mind drift and thinking about various things, this was the first time in a long time he had to avoid thinking.

Luckily, he had just the thing.

He pulled out his phone and turned it on, swiping until he got to the game section, clicking on an app titled ‘Bejeweled’ with a large blue diamond on it. He rarely downloaded phone games at all, he mainly used his phone to watch videos or scroll through forums. Every now and again though he’d get agonizingly bored and wasn’t in the mood for that, so he downloaded a handful of games he could just play.

Bejewled was the perfect mind numbing game he could just play, it didn’t require enough effort for him to really think about it, but entrancing enough to where it could keep him occupied. It was just the type of game where he had to match similar types of jewels so they vanished, being replaced by others with the main goal being to match as many jewels as possible as quickly as he could. It was a lot like Candy Crush, but signifcantly less complicated. Simple, just like him.

“Wow! You play Bejeweled too! What’s your high score?”

Jason jumped at Pinkie’s sudden voice, he hadn’t even heard her walk up to him, or felt her leaning over his shoulder and looking at him playing Bejeweled. She was wearing makeup now, the only thing he really noticed was there weren’t bags under her eyes, but it was hard to say if that was because she actually got any sleep or her makeup. Her large poofy hair was just barely not touching his face, it might have been his eyes playing tricks on him, but something about her hair was cleaner than usual, almost like she tried to groom it.

*She’s giddier than usual, and she smells really nice, like strawberries. No! Stop smelling her, that’s creepy.*

“Um...I-i think the highest score I’ve ever gotten was around fourty thousand? I’ve been playing for a few years and I’ve gotten sort of good at it.”

Jason tried to avoid eye contact with her, he hadn’t been this close to a girl other than Diane, and it still made him a bit angsty, even if it was Pinkie.

“That’s actually kind of impressive! I play Candy Crush mostly now, but when I stopped playing I think my highest score was somewhere around seventy thousand…..”

She suddenly trailed off as her eyes turned to him, lowering her gaze to a spot on his neck like she saw something. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously as she got closer to him, causing Jason to shirk back uncomfortably. Suddenly her eyes widened and her mouth opened like she was going to gasp, but no sound came out.

“Is that...a hickey?” She asked in a hushed tone, leaning down and cupping her left hand around her mouth, which wasn’t necessary because she was so quiet even he could barely hear her.

Jason blushed furiously as he felt his ears getting warm, he tried to crane his neck to see the spot she was talking about. It was hard, but he could just barely make out some of the skin around his neck was a darker purple than the rest, the exact spot Diane sucked on him two nights ago. He tried to cover it with his hand, beyond embarrassed and surprised he out of all people would have a hickey.

*That explains why she brought up hickeys all the sudden, how did I not notice that when I was brushing my teeth the last few days?*

“...Y-yeah, Diane...gave it to me.” He murmured, so quietly he hoped she hadn’t heard him. He wanted nothing more than to shrink away from her gaze, if he had known he had a hickey, he would have just stayed home! The best he could do now was cover it the best he could and hope nobody noticed.

“In an alleyway? That sounds a little...unsanitary.”

“Um...no, we were...at my apartment.”

As soon as he said that, Pinkie’s entire body tensed up, a serious look on her face that looked almost wrong on her. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it just as abruptly. She walked around him and pulled out the chair beside him, sitting down in it and scooting closer to him. Her nose was slightly crinkled as her eyebrows furrowed in a scowl, not an expression he thought the ecstatic party planner was capable of.

“Did you guys...you know...do it?”

Despite the grave expression on her face, her question sounded like it came from an elementary schooler. Like she was asking a dirty question that her parents had told her she wasn’t allowed to ask, it was kind of cute in a weird way. If he wasn’t so red faced at the moment, he probably would have smiled.

He couldn’t bring himself to actually say it, anything he’d try to say would just come out as a stutter and he’d feel more embarrassed. Instead he nodded, doing his best to hide behind his hair, wishing he’d grown it out like he debated with himself for years.

The silence only made it worse, he didn’t hear Pinkie make a single sound for what felt like an eternity. He heard the chair creak as Pinkie leaned back, she sighed loudly like she was relieved about something. He looked up to her staring at him, wearing an expression he couldn’t quite discern. She was somewhere between a scowl and a frown, her eyebrows not entirely furrowed and eyes half open. The corners of her mouth were shaking like she couldn’t decide between smiling or frowning, her arms laying on her legs as she twiddeled her thumbs.

She looked....perturbed? Angry? Jason couldn’t tell, and that was somewhat unsettling.

“I...huh, not sure why but I...didn’t expect that, I guess I’m the only one of my friends who’s still a virgin, huh? Other than Fluttershy, anyway.” She awkwardly chuckled, though something about her voice sounded off. It was a bit shaky and she was speaking faster than usual, like she was talking just to talk. “Rarity, Rainbow, and Applejack have had boyfriends, Sunset tried it out of curiosity, and Twilght wanted to experiment with it. I would have eventually after a year or so, but I never got a boyfriend. But I didn’t think...you would, good for you!” Pinkie said as with a sheepish smile.

That smile didn’t look like ones she usually had, it looked fake, almost pained. He was terrible at reading people, but even he could tell that smile was forced. He wasn’t sure why, she was her usual self just a few moments ago. Did him confirming he slept with Diane upset her somehow? Why? It didn’t make any sense to him, if she didn’t want to know, why did she ask?

“Pinkie? Are yo-”

“So how was it?”

He was taken aback by the sudden question, the embarrassment he had momentarily forgotten came back with a burning heat in his face.

“Pinkie! I can’t...talk about that, it’s hard for me to even talk about it in public.” Jason said as he fidgeted in the chair, feeling Pinkie’s curious gaze on him.

“Really? I thought boys loved bragging about having sex with girls! At least, that’s what Limestone told me, that the first thing they do is tell their guy friends about it.”

*I don’t think I want to meet this ‘Limestone’, she doesn’t sound like she’d like me.*

Pinkie’s smile looked a bit less fake and her voice sounded more chipper, but it still felt off, like an imitation of what she was usually like. Her hands were moving around and making gestures in an animated fashion, not with any particular motion like she was just moving them so she had something to do. Her eyes were fully open and her smile wide, but something about it was just lacking the normal energy she had.

To Jason it was evident this was an act, the same kind Diane would put up whenever he asked about something she didn’t want to talk about. This was more severe, her behavior was more erratic and almost desperate, trying to hold back whatever emotion she was actually feeling. He wanted to help her, but he didn’t even understand what was wrong.

“Maybe, but I’m...not like most guys, you know that. I don’t even have any guy friends to brag to, I can barely talk about anything like that with Diane, anyone else is too much. Can we just stop talking about it?”

Jason had his hand on his chest, trying to calm down his heart beat. He looked around to see if anyone had heard them, he would probably die of embarrassment if other people were listening in. Luckily, he and Pinkie were the only ones in there, other than the librarian Cheerilee, who was preoccupied aggressively typing something on a computer and not paying attention to the world around her at all.

“You’re saying...you’re more comfortable with Diane than me?”

The way she asked that made his heart sink, making him feel a kind of pain he’d never experienced before. When he looked back at her, it only made it sting a little more. Her voice was somber and she sounded completely disheartened, she had a frown on her face that was just wrong after being used to seeing her smile. Her half-lidded eyes made her almost look lifeless, her pink skin was even a bit duller and some parts of her hair deflated a bit. Depressed was the first word that came to mind, but it didn’t feel right associating that word with Pinkie Pie of all people.

“No...Pinkie it’s not that, I just have a different relationship with her than you. You and me are friends, while Diane and I are…” Jason offered as he waved his hands, trying his best to cheer her up

*What exactly are we? Frenefits doesn’t quite fit, we’re more than that now.*

“Complicated. Really, really complicated. Plus whenever I talk with Diane we’re always alone, you know how I am with other people.”

Jason realized after Friday he was getting incredibly comfortable with Pinkie, he wasn’t immune to her charisma and her way with people. He rarely stuttered with her anymore and the social anxiety was practically non existent. Except for whenever she asked something like that, there were some things he was very uncomfortable talking about in public, that was one of them.

However, he wasn’t lying when he said his relationship with Diane was different. It wasn’t something he could explain, he just felt so relaxed and open, even when she was teasing him so much. Maybe it was because of Diane’s brash nature, but he just couldn’t be like that with Pinkie. She was just too...different.

“We’re basically alone right now, that shouldn’t change anything.” Pinkie whispered, just barely loud enough to hear, glancing away from him and crossing her arms.

There was a coldness to her tone that almost made it sound like it wasn’t even Pinkie who said it, he was sure she intentionally spoke ust loud enough for him to hear. He wanted to say something, but she didn’t give him the chance. She put her thumb in her mouth like a baby, taking a deep breath and blowing into it like a balloon. There was an audible popping noise as her faintly flattened hair bounced back like it was made of rubber, the color in her skin coming back like it was never gone. She jumped out of her seat with her last breath, her eyes opening wide and her mouth curving into a wide grin as she beamed at Jason.

“I heard you were super good at math from some of my friends in your class, is that true? Please tell me that’s true!”

She suddenly leaned forward, grabbing his hand and placing them in hers like she was begging for his help, she was even batting her eyelashes! He pulled his hands away, sudden physical contact was one of the things that were guaranteed to make him anxious. He darted his eyes back and forth to try to avoid eye contact, already feeling his heartbeat pick up after he just calmed it down.

*Why is she switching topics so abruptly, so she can avoid talking about what we just were?*

“I...yeah, I guess? I usually get A’s and B’s without really studying that much, I wouldn’t say I’m that good at it though.” He looked at her hair and saw that it was completely back to normal, her skin wasn’t dulled anymore and her smile didn’t look pained anymore. She was acting exactly like she usually did, no sign of the distraught she was feeling moments before.

She was able to completely hide her emotions like that and act like she normally did without the slightest chink showing, something about that...disturbed him.

“Why do you ask?” He said hesitantly, noticing a glint of something in her eyes he wasn’t sure if he liked.

“Can you come to my place after school and tutor me a bit?!”

There was an almost desperate tone in her voice, she was practically pleading with him. While Jason was even more taken aback than from earlier, not so much the fact he was being asked to tutor her, more that he was being asked to a girls place!

*I’ve never been to a girls place before, and why is Pinkie inviting me over of all people? Doesn’t her sister Limestone hate guys? It certainly sounds like it. I suppose I shouldn’t be that worried about it, I did just have a girl over to my place not that long ago. But I don’t have any parents or siblings, is it really ok for me to come over like that?*

Pinkie’s eyes narrowed a bit as she stared at him, having an intense look in her eyes like she came across a word she’d never heard before and was trying to figure out how to pronounce it. Her mouth curved into an ‘o’ shape as she realized what he was thinking about, at least what she was pretty sure he was thinking about.

“You won’t have to worry about my parents! They’re usually at work during the day, and even if they come back, they won’t mind! Maud is going to be off at a rock convention for the next few days, Marble rarely comes out of her room, and Limestone won’t bother us as long as I ask her to, probably. We’ll…” She smirked deviously, “Pretty much be alone.”

Jason gulped nervously, he wasn’t quite sure why.

*Be alone with Pinkie? Well, we’d need to be so I can tutor her properly, and it isn’t really that different from when we talk in here. I wasn’t really doing anything anyway, other than anxiously waiting for Diane to text me.*

“I don’t know, Pinkie. I’m not su-”

“Please? Pretty please with a lot of whip cream, gummy bears, sprinkles, caramel sauce, and a cherry on top?” She squealed as she got face to face with him, their noses touching and she was giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen on a human. “I’ve got a big test tomorrow, and I don’t even know the quadratic formula! I promise I’ll stay still and listen, mostly!”

He couldn’t help but wonder why she was asking him of all people, Pinkie knew a lot of people, surely she knew someone else who was better at math than him. Maybe he was just the first one she asked? He didn’t mind it that much, but he couldn’t help but feel there was some ulterior motive, as absurd as that was considering this was Pinkie.

“...Okay, sure. I can’t stay for more than a few hours, but I-”

“Great! I’ll text you the address later, see you after school, bye!”

Almost faster than he could see, she stood up and zoomed out of the library, leaving smoke in her shape behind her like Friday. It was very sudden and seemed like she just wanted to leave, he checked his phone and saw that there was still ten minutes or so until it was time for the first class, so why was she in such a rush to leave

*Was it something I said? I don’t get it, why’d she get so upset and then happy again? Girls are weird?*

There was a tight knot in his chest, he wasn’t sure why, but he was dreading going there.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Other than trying his best to hide the hickey on his neck, Jason’s day was pretty normal. He didn’t have very much to do school wise this week, so he could be lazy this week if he wanted, other than doing homework and studying like he usually did. He’d have to start looking for a job some time next week, but for now that was a problem for future Jason.

He couldn’t help but keep thinking about the conversation he had with Pinkie earlier, there were so many things about it that threw him off. What did he say that made her upset like that? How did she swing between depressed and happy so easily? Why did she ask him of all people to come to her place and tutor her? Every time he thought he had an answer to any of those questions, it just brought more up.

It had been almost all he could think about throughout his day, at least it had gotten his mind off Diane. Now it was lunchtime, he had eaten a little less than he normally did and went to the library to be alone. Instead of sitting at the tables on the bottom floor like in the mornings, he preferred to go up to the second floor between the ailes of books. He had yet to see a single person go up there, it was comfortable and he had plenty of books to read from if he wanted to.

He was sitting on the floor crouched against one of the shelves, his head leaning against it and his arms laying on the floor. His eyes were closed but he was still conscious, in that weird state of mind where he wasn’t entirely awake but not entirely asleep either.

“Pinkie was right, you are in your own little world.”

Jason, for the second time that day, jumped at the sudden voice. His eyes shot open as he looked for the source of the voice, glad it wasn’t against his ear this time. It wasn’t high pitched like Pinkie’s, it belonged to someone else and sounded familiar.

Sunset Shimmer was standing to the left of him, wearing the same outfit he saw her in before with her hands on her hips, giving him an amused smirk at his reaction.

*What’s she doing here? Did Pinkie send her to find me for something? That doesn’t make any sense, she would have just texted me if she wanted something.*

“Yeah, I...get lost in thought sometimes. How’d you find me?”

“I know...well knewI guess, It’s complicated. Anway, I knew someone who used to come up here a lot, and realized it was a pretty good place for a loner like you.”

She lowered herself and crouched down on the floor beside him, reaching into one of the pockets of her leather jacket and pulling a small box out. She flipped it open and pulled out what looked like a thin cigarette, putting it in her mouth with one hand and holding the box with the other. That’s when he realized, and hoped, that it was a candy cigarette when she bit the top off of it and began chewing.

She glanced at him and saw that he was eyeing the candy cigarette. “ I...used to have a really bad habit of smoking, I’m trying to get over it. I’m not sure how she knew, but she said one of the best ways to get over it was with candy cigarettes, it’s worked so far.”

Sunset pulled the rest of the candy cigarette out of her mouth and held it between her fingers like a real one, putting the box with the rest of them in between them, pulling another one out and offering it to Jason. He hesitantly took it and stuck it in his mouth, nibbling on the end and enjoying the sugary test.

“Huh, I didn’t...peg you as a smoker. So what did you come find me for? Did Pinkie say something?”

Jason was avoiding eye contact with Sunset, he hadn’t been expecting to be talking to anyone during his alone time. He didn’t mind it being Sunset that much, out of all of Pinkie’s friends she was the one that made him the least anxious, but it still bothered him a bit.

“Yeah, but nothing bad.” Sunset said with a roll of her eyes. “She talks about you every now and again, more so than any other boy that I know of. Mostly things like how she thinks it’s cute when you get flustered, or how she wishes she could help you be better with people.”

Jason abruptly stopped chewing, his eyes widening a bit as the realization of Sunset’s words hit him.

*She...thinks I’m cute? Diane’s said the same thing, but I just thought it was because she was teasing me. Is there actually anything about me other girls find attractive?*

He bit off the top half of the candy cigarette, trying his best to hide the red hue on his face.

“I’m...really surprised, I didn’t think there was anything about me that was worth talking about.”

Sunset tossed the rest of the candy in her mouth, he saw out of the corner of his eyes her smirk lower into a frown, her body getting slightly more tense as she hid her eyes behind her hair.

“Hey...how good are you at keeping secrets?”

“I’m…” Jason hesitated in answering, the question was sudden and he wasn’t entirely sure on how to answer. “Not sure, no one’s told me any secrets before. I...can promise I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to, I don’t really talk to anyone other than Pinkie and Diane.”

She watched him cautiously, narrowing her eyes and glaring like she was trying to make a decision. She sighed as her body relaxed a bit, reaching into the box and pulling out another candy cigarette.

“I have the ability to see all of your memories, or just specifically whatever ones you’re thinking about, all I have to do is touch you.” Sunset offered casually, as if what she was saying was completely normal.

Jason has experienced a lot of awkward silences, a lot of them coming from his attempts at making a joke, this was one of the worst.

“Is this...supposed to be some kind of joke? I mean, I always kind of believed in telekenisis and stuff like that, but that sounds a bit ludicrous.”

She responded by extending her arm towards him, like she was offering it to him. “Think of something, some memory from your childhood or whatever. Then just touch me and I’ll be able to tell you whatever it is, that should convince you.”

Sunset didn’t even look at him as she spoke, more focused on the candy than him. He was about to ask her more questions, but realized that would have been pointless. He closed his eyes and thought back to seventh grade, thinking of the time he snuck his 3DS into school and played it all day instead of doing classwork.

He ignored the anxiety he got from physical contact and touched her hand, her entire body tensed up the second he did. She didn’t move an inch, he watched in astonishment as white lights shined from her eyes, like there were two flashlights behind them. Her pupils completely vanished, leaving what seemed like just her scelera. Her mouth hung open, but no noise came out.

She suddenly pulled her arm back, her eyes rapidly blinking until her pupils came back and she was back to normal, chewing on the candy cigarette again like nothing had happened.

“That’s the first thing you think of in your childhood? The time you snuck your DS into school? Most people think of a sleepover with their friends or something, I guess you have been anti-social for a while.”

Jason opened his mouth to respond, but closed it as he stopped himself, she was right. He also found it hard to speak after the display he just witnessed, with just one touch she really did see a memory from his childhood. He knew about the possibility of people being able to read minds or hear other peoples thoughts, but seeing their memories? That was something else entirely, how was that even possible?

“Wow...you can really do that? That’s...I’m...how? Some sort of magic or something?”

Sunset shrugged, making a humming noise that sounded something like ‘I don’t know’. “I’m not really sure how it works, or how to explain it, I’ve been trying to figure it out for a while. When it first started I just saw the entirety of someone’s life whenever I touched them, that caused some...problems.” She stopped talking for a moment and shivered, remembering something unpleasant. “I eventually learned how to just see either a recent memory, or whatever memory they’re thinking about.”

She turned her head to face Jason, he was staring at her in astonishment, trying to comprehend what she just did and said.

“You’re not freaking out as much as I thought you would, at least you aren’t showing it.”

The truth was, Jason was freaking out a lot, just internally. He had always considered himself to be open minded, but the revelation that there was a girl who can read minds sitting right beside him was nothing short of mind blowing. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but he felt if he tried to voice them, he’d end up just asking all of them at once. The only thing preventing him from freaking out externally was his crippling fear of making a fool of himself.

“I’m...compartamentilzing, and also kind of in shock.” He finished the candy cigeratte and grabbed another, in that moment he understood a bit better why Pinkie preferred to be doing something while she was thinking. “Ok...so why are you telling me? We barely know each other and this seems like a big secret to trust someone with, isn’t this something you should be talking with your friends about?”

“They already know, they were the first people to know actually. I think I can trust you, you don’t peg me as someone who would go around telling secrets like this. As for the reason, you’v-

She stopped talking when her phone buzzed, she put the candy cigarette in her mouth and reached into the other pocket and pulled out her phone

*Probably Pinkie and the others wondering where she is.*

He watched in silence as she texted someone, rather quickly turning it off and putting it back in her pocket. “You might not realize it, but you’ve been getting pretty close to Pinkie, closer than almost any other boy I can think of. What I’m about to tell you is another secret, but this one is something only I know about, you might be the only one who can help.”

She had a much more serious expression on her face as she said that, which was a little hard to take seriously with candy sticking out of the corner of her mouth. She brought her other hand up to her temple and began rubbing it, similar to when Jason’s studying something he had a hard time comprehending.

“Pinkie has...gaps in her memories, ones I can’t see and that she keeps playing off.”

There was a concerned and worried tone in her voice, it was a bit shaky and she clearly sounded relieved to finally be able to talk about it with someone. This sounded like something she’d been holding onto for a while, what could it be that she would tell him but not the others.

“Gaps? What do you mean?” Jason asked, hoping for clarification.

“It’s...complicated, I’ve never tried putting it in words, so give me a second.” She pulled her knees to her chest so she was in the fetal position, her chin on the top of her knees. “I can’t even remember when exactly, but a while back Pinkie was talking about how she had a really bad habit of falling asleep when she wasn’t even tired. I didn’t even think much of it at the time, we figured it was just Pinkie being Pinkie.

I accidentally touched her once while she was talking about it, and it’s...more than just that, a lot more. Sometimes she’d wake up in different clothes in a different place, but she just moves past it and pretends it doesn’t happen. There are chunks of her memories missing, there’s no pattern either. Even though the memories belong to her, I couldn’t access them, it was like reaching into a bag for more chips when there aren’t any, but when you shake the bag you can hear them, so you know they’re there. It’s really frustrating and I still don’t understand it.”

She threw her hands up and gave an exasperated sigh, tossing the rest of the cigeratte in her mouth and chewing on it angrily.

*Gaps in her memories? From the way Sunset describes it, it sounds a lot like she’s blacking out.*

“That’s...really serious, but how am I supposed to help?”

“I...have a theory or two on what’s going on, but it’s all just conjecture. I know that you’re going to her place later today, she told us about it. I really hate to ask you to do this, but I need to get a better idea of what’s going on with her, and this is the only way I can think of. If you get the chance, can you...look around her room?”

“Are you....asking me to search through Pinkie’s things?” Jason asked hesitantly, turning his head to look at her. She was hiding her eyes behind her hair, like she was ashamed to look him in the eyes. “Sunset that’s...a complete violation of her privacy, not to mention a betrayal of her trust if she were to find out. I can’t do that!”

“I know, I’m asking a lot.” Sunset responded. “I’m not asking you to take anything, or even touch anything if you can avoid it. Just...if you see anything that’s weird or out of place, even for Pinkie, tell me, that’s all. I don’t want to have to ask this of you, but I know she always cleans her room before we come over, she won’t do that for you since you wouldn’t know what’s different. I just…”

He saw her shaking a bit, taking a deep breathe and exhaling to calm herself down. “She stopped talking about it a few weeks ago and hasn’t brought it up since, which means it either isn’t happening anymore, or she is just choosing not to talk about it because she doesn’t think we can help her. But I need to help her, and all of them if they ever needed it. I can not even put into words how grateful I am and how much I owe them, if I can’t even help a single one of them when they need me, then I’m worse than worthless!”

Jason didn’t know anything about Sunset or her friends, but from the way she was talking, there was something that happened that she felt guilty for, or maybe she asked for help with something? Either way it seemed they had helped her in a way she felt she could never repay, the kind of friendship that was real.

*Can I really do this? I abhore even thinking about betraying Pinkie like that, I’ve never had anyone trust me like she and Diane do. I want to help Pinkie, anyway I can, but this is risky.*

“I...will do it, on one condition.” Jason said as he turned away, grabbing the last candy cigarette from the box. He was starting to get why Pinkie ate so much candy. “If I get caught, I want to tell her everything you told me. If I were to mess up my friendship with her...I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.”

Sunset opened her mouth to respond, being stopped by the sound of the bell, signalling the end of lunch. She chewed the last of the cigarette and slowly stood up, dusting off her jeans and stretching a bit.

“I can agree to that, thank you a lot for this Jason.” She said as she reached down and grabbed the empty box, tossing it back in her jacket pocket. “I have to go now, just...be careful, ok? You aren’t a bad guy Jason, I think I get what Pinkie see’s in you.”

She left without saying another word, leaving Jason sitting on the floor. He wasn’t in any rush to get to class, his next one was right across the hall from the library. Which meant he had plenty of time to contemplate his life decisions, and wonder when things got so complicated.