The Chronicles of Soft and Dawn

by StormDancer

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover
Length: 3925

Short (and often funny) scenes from the adventures of Soft Touch and Dawn

Soft Touch and Dawn are a pair of adventurous ponies, out to make a living in a world that just doesn't seem to want to cut them a break. Whether it's a strange door sign or getting a job spying on a dragon, they do their best to make it through the night.
That doesn't mean they make it through unscathed.
But after years of adventuring, they've managed to muddle their way through enough things that they really are pretty good at what they do.
These are their tales, short though they may be.

The chapters are set as scenes from events in their travels. Each can be read, independent of the others, for a short, often humorous, read that shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Each 'chapter' was written in 30 minutes or less as part of a weekly writing event. Here's to hoping you enjoy.

Teen rating
There may be jokes or implications, but nothing you couldn't find on daytime television... or the Coneheads at worse. Remember, saying "condom" does not make something rated R, and Teen novels include things like the Twilight series.

Crossover
David Silver's wonderful Ponyfinder RPG setting provides a backdrop, though little material is actually in the story beyond the use of other races.

Human
It's tagged because there are occasionally humans. It's part of the nature of crossover or AU stories in this vein.

Published 2020-05-11 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-05-17 18:56:11 UTC

Welcome, One and All!

Author's Note:
05-28-2017
From the prompt: PROMPT

And yes, I do know just how absurdly blasphemous I made it. It's all about presentation though, so... HAH!

Standing there on the side of the road, Soft Touch read the sign again... and despite her best attempts at vapid disbelief, it remained steadfast in its message.

"Welcome to the Lovely Land of Horrendia. Land of Ten Thousand Sinkholes!"

Smacking herself lightly in the head, she blinked and looked again.

Still the same.

"Hey, Dawn.... this sign here, does it really say-"

Her traveling companion smirked and shook his head. "Yheah, Soft, it really does say that."

Quickly glancing back at the sign, Soft Touch lowered her head and threw her arms in the air. "The hell? I mean, what the flaming HELL? Who advertises SINKHOLES as a quality of their property?" She looked around, as if expecting a local to come out and explain it for a moment before jabbing a limb at Dawn. "This is your fault, isn't it? This is one of your dumb jokes, right? You sent ahead while we were sleeping last night and had someone stick this dumb sign in the road just to mess with me, didn't you."

Dawn smirked but shook his head. "Nah... not me, Soft. I mean, it ~is~ pretty weird, but, really... is it THAT weird compared to some of the other stuff we've come across?" He raised an eyebrow at her expression. "You know... like the 'faceless bunny horde' or the 'tower of really really small bad guys' or maybe the 'pit of embarrassingly naughty tenta-'"

Soft cracked him across the shoulder with a red faced glare to back it up. "Finish that sentence and I will personally introduce you to my lockpick."

Dawn smiled and backed up a step, putting his arms up in a placating manner. "Ease up, Soft... I'm just saying..."

Soft fixed him with a stare for a few more seconds before shaking her head. "We said we'd never speak of that again."

"And we won't," Dawn chuckled quietly, "unless it's for a laugh." At Soft's glare, he rolled his eyes and relented. "Fine.... fine."

Soft went back to looking at the sign. "Sinkholes. Freaking weird place. Guess we should be ready for unexpected cave diving or something, huh?"

Dawn nodded. "Yheah, probably wouldn't hurt. You still got that rope and the flares?"

"Yheah. Not really liking the idea of it, but I still have the stuff to get our sorry butts out of a hole in the ground." She grimaced, "I really don't want to end up in a cave."

Dawn smiled and pointed down the road, where the grassy fields and trees began to give way to rippling, sandy dunes. "Good news, then. Looks like there's an outpost town just on the other side of the border. We can probably get some transportation there and just ride it out."

Soft's expression fell a bit. "And it'll likely cost us an arm and a leg to get it, won't it?"

Dawn smirked at Soft's ill-hidden greed. "Probably.... but at least we won't end up slipping into any pits of tentac-"

Dawn's voice cut out as Soft pounced him with a growl and a crack to the head.

*****

Sitting on the deck of the tiny craft, Soft Touch and Dawn looked out from under a wispy shade cloth as their 'skimmer' slid effortlessly over the dunes.

As Dawn had hoped, the outpost town of Driftwood Berth had indeed been capable of providing transportation. The Berthmaster, a weathered old man by the name of Kersel, had chartered one of his surprisingly large fleet of nine 'skimmers' to take them across the Dune Sea of Horrendia. Not surprisingly, the cost had been enough to get the old man to smile, showing off a full set of gold teeth.

So, despite a rather hefty exchange of the universally accepted 'gold pieces', Soft was able to justify her expenditure as a way of avoiding her fear of being stuck underground.

Dawn, of course, planned to tease her mercilessly later over the fact that she had nearly climbed onto the small dingy-like craft before even paying.

Oh yes, there would be many a tavern brawl in their future over this tale.

On the other hand, as they skimmed over the dunes, he was beginning to wonder if, maybe, the sign had been a stroke of genius after all.

As far as he could see, the dunes were sleek and benign, offering little in the way of rest, but even less in the way of 'sinkholes'. Granted, he wasn't exactly sure what a sinkhole would look like under sand, but still... assuming the dunes were nothing more than a golden orange desert, the placement of the sign would likely drum up more business for the outpost. If not for Mr. Kersel, himself.

Assuming such a thing, Dawn had to admit, it was one of the best sales pitches he'd ever seen. A scam the size of the desert they were currently skimming across.

'Damn,' he thought, 'we've been had by an old man and a magic rowboat.'

It was at that point, however, that they crested a dune and saw a man, glowing with pale gold light standing upon the sands, reaching out to another man, half sunken in the seemingly endless desert.

As he watched, the man in the sand continued to slip further and further under while the other man plead with him to simply take his hand and trust in him.

Dawn didn't have the heart to keep watching as they sped past.

"Damn I'm glad we paid for this raft-thing," Soft muttered as they crested another dune, leaving the men behind.

Lumbermill beach golden pear hammocks

11-04-2018
Prompt: Link

Soft Touch stared a the sign. Well, at least she ~thought~ it was a sign, to be honest, she wasn't quite sure. There was a big doubled-paned sheet of glass, framed, outside of the shop, with a painting sandwiched inside, protecting it from the elements. The frame was a well maintained wood, though weathering was clearly evident, while the glass was a pristine, bubble free, sea-foam green. It must have cost a fortune to have it made, but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out what the heck it was supposed to be advertising.

"Hey, Dawn, get over here and tell me what you make of this thing."

The two had been traveling across the realm, seeking adventure and a bit of coin for some time now, and they'd gotten into some pretty strange situations over that time. Soft was familiar enough with most things that she tried to roll with the punches, but there were times when she knew she was simply out of her depth.

Dawn, meanwhile, was much more adventurous in his dealings, often taking risks and gambles that had little chance of paying off. The end result was that she often had to pull his sorry little butt out of the fire. However, the offshoot was that he had experienced more things than should really be healthy.

Also, since Soft hated magic, and Dawn was a freaking unicorn, he knew stuff she couldn't be bothered with to save her life.

"Um.... it's a sign? I mean, what's not to get, Soft?"

Rolling her eyes, Soft turned her head to address him. "Well, yheah, it's a sign, but what do you think it means?"

"Um.... have a great day? We hope you like the sun? I mean, it's just a sign, Soft... it's probably not all that important."

"The hell it's not. It's the first thing we see when we stumble across this little desert oasis, sitting out in the sun, in great condition, outside a little market with all kinds of stuff that the locals are probably just begging to sell for a few bits, and it doesn't even have any words!"

Dawn rolled his eyes. "Oh come off it, Soft, it's probably just someone's icon or maybe an artisan mark, you know... like their brand or something."

"But it can't be that... I mean, sure, if you're an established company with recognition and all that, but for a little desert nowhere place like this? You need your stuff to be instantly recognizable. You can't just put a horseshoe up and expect people to know you're selling dental equipment... it needs to make sense."

"Soft, it's probably nothing more than art, meant to draw people in."

"Bull! It's something important. I mean, it had to have cost a fortune to make. Look at that glass! It's almost 5 feet across!"

"Well... you've got a point, but still, like you said, it can't really NOT make sense. So, I'm going to just ignore it and go on in."

Soft spun around and grabbed her companion before he could walk off. "Oh no. Oh hells no. You aren't going to leave me out in their blasted heat without at least figuring this thing out first. I'm not having another 'sinkhole adventure' because ~someone~ forgot to tell me they were going for a piss and didn't tie off the rope."

"Oh come ON! Are you still pissed about that? I told you I was sorry and it's not like I knew there were tentacl—"

Soft jabbed her hoof into his side fast enough to make him double over. "I told you never to speak of that again."

Weazing and struggling back to his feet, Dawn grimaced, "S-sorry, Soft, it's just that you know... I don't think there are any sinkholes around here. It's a desert oasis, with a market. They wouldn't put a market over a bunch of sinkholes with caves and naughty creatures below."

Dawn trailed off as he caught his companion's glare.

"Never. Speak. Of. It. Again. Dawn."

With a practiced roll of his eyes, Dawn nodded and replied. "Yheah, yheah... I gotcha. But still, I'm not going to sit out here in the blazing sun just because you're stuck on a sign. Not when there's a market with SHADE and WATER right over there. So, you can keep trying to discover the secrets of the weird Lumbermill beach golden pear hammock sign or whatever, but I'm going to go have a look through here."

And with that, the unicorn turned, yanked his tail from her grip, and trotted off into the market, leaving her to puzzle over the sign.

It was a strange sign though! Why couldn't he see that? A big, bright golden disk with little squiggly bits hanging off the sides, with a clear and bright image of a beach plastered across the middle. And right there, just slightly below the beach, was what looked like a giant, golden pear just above a stylized hammock painted in gloriously bright white.

It didn't make sense. What the heck did golden circular saws, beaches, pears, and hammocks have to do with one another?

NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

So it couldn't be that simple. It couldn't be hammocks and pears and beaches and saw blades. It was a market, in the desert. It could almost work... Maybe they sold hammocks and traded in preserved fruit. Maybe they could pass the place off as a resort or something; it was next to an oasis after all. But saw blades? Specifically circular saw blades? There were no forests for hundreds of miles. What use would there be for the giant circular saw blades they used in lumbermills? And why was it golden?

And then it hit Soft like a blow to the gut.

It wasn't a saw blade.... and those little squiggly things weren't saw teeth.

They were tentacles for some ancient monster. Some giant, golden, dark god who lurked in the oasis! And this market was just the bait to lure in unknowing fools! The locals were probably mindless slaves to its will, biding their time until foolish travelers wandered through, only to sucker them in and use them in dark rituals!

And Dawn had just wandered off into that mess!

Soft, shifted on her feet, ready to race after him when she paused.

Had he really had to piss that time with the sinkholes? Maybe it was supposed to be a prank? Maybe it would have been funny if he'd pulled her up immediately. Maybe he was a perv and got off on hearing her squeal?

So, for a few moments, Soft deliberated with herself.

It would be getting a taste of his own medicine.

It would be turnabout being fair play.

It would be funny as hell to watch him racing back with his tail tucked between his legs as she crowed out "I told you so!"

But....

With a defeated sigh, Soft raced off to save her idiot companion. He was just lucky he was kind of cute when being rescued.

And so, she completely missed it when the proprietor of the shop she had been standing in front of for the last eight minutes sauntered out, swept the stoop of the little sunglasses shop, and smiled at his sign. "I am so glad I got this little sun painting. It really is pulling in the customers. Best sign ever."

Dust on the Wind River

11-25-2018
From the prompt: PROMPT

Slowly plodding through yet another sand caked desert, Soft Touch muttered softly as her companion, Dawn, trotted merrily along, seemingly without a care in the world.

In the 115 degree, cloudless, heat.

"Dawn, if you don't cut that out, I'm going to club you with your own shadow."

Smirking, Dawn grinned even wider. "That so, Soft? And just how are you planning to do that? You look beat and I bet you don't have enough water left in you to spit."

Soft grimaced. There was more truth to that than she wanted to admit, but dangit if she was going to give that smug air conditioned unicorn the satisfaction. So, with entirely too much effort, she sucked in a lungful of air and made an exaggerated hocking sound before turning to lob a loogie at the prancing little thief beside her.

... and promptly ended up hacking on the overly dry air.

Dawn, trying his best not to break into raucous laughter, swung in close to push his chill side up against her swelteringly hot one, careful to avoid the buckles that secured her own bags, and helped to steady her after her coughing fit.

"You know, Soft, I could cast the same charm on you and make this a lot easier," he murmured as she swallowed dryly.

"You know I hate that stuff, Dawn. Ain't happening."

"Yheah, I know Soft but, come on... you're miserable and this desert's not looking like it's going to open up into another settlement for a long time. It's not good for you to be going this long, and you're already past a lather. I'm getting worried for you."

Soft cringed. It was one thing to avoid magic, the stuff was simply unnatural in her mind, but it really was quite hot and the lack of shade had been sapping her nearly limitless reserves of spite fueled resistance for the last several hours. And his cool, almost chill, coat ~did~ feel remarkably good at the moment...

Soft was right about to give in when she suddenly stopped and flicked an ear at the distant sound of hooves.

Turning, the pair scanned the horizon until a trailing cloud of dust caught their attention.

Four black stallions, in full tack, raced across the scorched earth, pulling a dusty black carriage, straps and canvas flapping in the desert air. Atop the carriage, two humans in dirt colored vests held the reins while rapidly glancing around.

For a moment, Soft and Dawn marveled at the spectacle before Soft's exquisite eyesight picked out three more plumes darting along behind the carriage.

"They're being chased," she said, gesturing slightly to the left as Dawn focused and watched. "Looks like three more humans or elves. Whatever they are, the ones chasing'em aren't wearing much. Nice looking stallions though."

"Oh?" Dawn glanced over to Soft, "Anyone we know?"

Soft smirked at the slight hint of jealousy in Dawn's voice, "Nah. Looks like some of the natives. A pretty white, a pinto, and one of those shiny charcoal ones with the little flare on his nose."

Dawn nodded and simply watched as the seven horses continued their run, the riders and coachmen hollering and hooting to each other while loud cracks and tiny puffs of smoke bloomed here and there.

As they passed, Dawn caught the gaze of one of the horses being ridden, the sleek pinto with its nearly naked rider. There was another loud crack and the rider toppled off, causing the pinto to veer to the left to avoid the carriage.

As the remaining noisome parade raced past, the pinto circled around back to check on his fallen rider before trotting over with a shimmering skin of sweat.

To Dawn's chagrin, he noticed Soft eyeing the pinto appreciatively.

"So, hey.... quite the race you got going on there," Dawn said as the pinto drew up.

"Yheah. Lot of fun when they play fair, but you know how it is."

Soft and Dawn glanced at each other before shrugging.

The pinto smiled a bit before squinting at Dawn. "So, I gotta ask. How are you not sweating."

Dawn, his grin returning, flipped his hat up with a little puff of air, revealing his horn. "Maaaaaaagic."

Soft, with a brief roll of her eyes, just continued to unabashedly check the pinto out.

The pinto grinned at Dawn and nodded his head appreciatively. "Mind slinging a touch of that my way? I mean, it's not too bad out today, but I have been running for about half an hour.... so, you know..."

Dawn nodded and cast a quick charm, the pinto's coat taking a dull sheen for a moment before he sighed in relief.

"Thanks bud. I gotta get running again, but if you're around the area, look me up. There's a nice little valley not too far from here, got a river that rolls through it too, if you're thirsty."

Dawn nodded his thanks before the pinto turned and started to trot off with a pleasant roll of his shoulders.

"So, think we should check out that valley, Soft?"

Soft's reply was a snort and a muttered curse that caused Dawn to glance at her in confusion.

"What?"

"I said it ain't fair."

Dawn blinked. "Um.... what isn't fair?"

Soft grumbled again before turning away in a huff.

"Soft, really, I can't hear what you're saying and whatever it is I did to piss you off, I'm sorry."

Just more muttering.

"Soft, come on, what did you say?"

Soft finally spun around and gestured angrily at the merrily prancing pinto, whose hocks jiggled just enough to make her blush.

"I said that little cock-suck was makin' eyes at you the whole time and it ain't fair!"

Dawn blinked before smirking. "And why isn't it fair, Soft?"

With a huff, Soft Touch glared at the retreating pinto's flanks. "Because I KNOW I could bounce a bit off that rear and he didn't even look at me."

The rest of the afternoon was a mix of joking and hobbling as Dawn was reminded that teasing a mare led to bucking, and rarely of the fun kind.

A Marvelous Distraction

12-23-2018
Prompt: Link

Soft Touch peeked over the ridge again before quickly dropping out of sight, much to Dawn's amusement. She had a slightly panicked look on her face and her wings were just a beat or two from taking her into an outright flight, but what had Dawn so close to laughing was the simple fact that Soft was currently sporting a very large sun hat that absolutely did NOT fit with the otherwise adventurous theme of her getup.

"That thing is god-damn HUGE, Dawn," she hissed as she scuttled down further from the ridge. "God-damn HUGE. How the flaming hells are we supposed to do ANYTHING against something like that?!?"

Dawn, for his own part, schooled his face to be as close to serious as he could at the moment. "Easy, Soft, we just sit back here and stay out of its way."

Soft, incredulous, turned to glance back at the ridge behind her, the hairs on the back of her neck and shoulders clearly standing on end as she watched pensively.

"I don't think we can do this one, Dawn. It's just too big. Hells, it's bigger than the city we stayed at last week... you know, the one with those little baked things you liked?"

"Tarts. Yheah, those were pretty good."

"Dawn! Focus here! That ~THING~ is MASSIVE. It's bigger'n the city and it's taller than that tower that had all those little bitey guys in it and it's really, REALLY angry."

"Goblins."

"What?"

"The little bitey guys are called goblins. You should really know this kind of stuff by now."

Soft spun around, her wings spreading slightly in an unconscious display of dominance. "Seriously? Now? You're going to lecture me on tiny little ~goblins~ right FEKKING NOW? We've got a MONSTER over there, a true, honest to goddess MONSTER that could scoop us up and swallow us whole with a clawfull of the rock we're standing on and NOT EVEN NOTICE IT, and you're yelling at me about GOBLINS?!?"

Dawn smiled thinly before reaching out and lightly tapping Soft on the nose, illiciting a snort and a mild glare in return. "Yheah, I kinda am, Soft. It's important to know what to call the things we get hired to clear out. And besides, what's the point of freaking out over something if you know you're not going to need to actually fight it?"

Soft continued her glare but glanced back at the ridge again before tucking her wings in and waving a hoof to explain.

Dawn nodded and gestured between the two of them. "See, the way ~I~ see it, we're being paid to 'distract' the dragon, not kill it. We're being paid to check out the situation and help to give them the chance to take it out. We're being paid to look over a hill and run our butts off if it looks at us. And, one more, very important thing that I think you forgot after seeing that thing, Soft."

Soft's impatient glare spoke volumes, but Dawn waited until she rolled her eyes and asked, "What did I forget, Dawn?"

Dawn grinned as he hefted a small leather sack and tossed it a few times so the clink of coins could be softly heard. "I think you forgot that they paid in advance."

Soft blinked a few times, her mind grinding to a halt before forcefully restarting with a visible shudder.

Shaking her head quickly, she looked back one last time to the ridge before flicking her tail at it in irritation and storming past Dawn.

"Well in that case, Fuck this, I'm getting a drink. And stop looking at me like that. The hat's functional, damnit!"

"Whatever you say, Soft. Whatever you say."

"Ass."

And with that, the two snuck away from the miles long dragon that was flaring wings large enough to blot out the sun. There was an army down there, waiting on recon that they had paid for in advance... but it was an army... so they should be fine.... right?