You're a demon (Apparently)

by Turtwig-Tales

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Adventure, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Other, Romance, Original Character, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 29635

A bunch of ponies summon a demon. They get a human.

A group of pony radicals try to summon a demon to overthrow the princesses. Instead they got a human. They don't know what a human is.

((Pre Princess Twilight))

((Edit: Featured 5/11/2020. Didn't expect this to go over so well!))
((Edit2: Ch.8 featured 10/1/2020))
((Edit3: Featured 10/22/2020))
((Final Edit: Featured 3/25/2021))

Published 2020-05-11 19:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-25 22:56:43 UTC

Chapter 2

There was a long moment of silence as you processed what Father just said.

“…Demon…?” you finally asked.

“Yes.” Father relied with a (relatively) innocent look.

“You’re serious?”

“Of course.”

This just kept getting weirder. Not only were you in some dank apparently-not-a-sewer, surrounded by talking horses, but now they also think you are a demon. Swell.

“I’m not a demon. I’m a human.”

Father ‘tsked’ indignantly.

“Do not attempt to trick me in some effort to escape our deal. I created this summoning circle myself. I DO NOT make mistakes. Therefore, the circle worked as intended. And since it brought you here, that means you are a demon. What is a ‘Hoo-mane,’ anyway? Ha! I see through you lies!” He proclaimed proudly.

You just…stared at him. There really wasn’t anything you could think to say. Even if you did, he sounded so full of himself that he wouldn’t believe anything you said anyway. Kinda like your boss, now that you thought of it.

“And speaking of the circle,” Father continued, “it is likely my best work yet!” Stroking his ego. Yeah, definitely like your boss.

He waved a hoof across the room, with a faint glow covered the floor. It looked like the circle took up the whole thing.

“Hundreds of arcane runes powering a single spell, the purpose of which is to summon an infernal being with as much power as possible! In other words, you.” He said, pointing at you.

Again, you stayed silent because of the sheer insanity of the situation. This was just so insane. Then again none of this was real, so it was probably best to not take it too seriously.

Father gestured to the inner circle you were stood in.

“And don’t think you can escape. Those same runes power the seal keeping you within that space. Attempting to cross the boundary would be…ill-advised. I will only release you back to plane of origin once the Upheaval is completed.”

You looked around the circle again. Glowing shapes could be seen in even the furthest, gloomiest reaches of the room. The inner circle you were was devoid of markings, and seemed to be just large enough for you to lie down in. There weren’t any gaps you could see, so you decided the play devil’s advocate.

Heh.

“Okay, so let’s say I agree to this and it works. You all overthrow these ‘princesses,’ and replace them with…something. What’s in it for me?”

“Oh-oh yes, a sacrifice! I-I almost forgot in the excitement!” Father stammered. His horn started…glowing? It was blood-red, but still kind of sparkly.

“Wha…?” you started, when suddenly one the cloaked figures toward the back of the crowd was thrown into the air, enveloped in the same glow as Father’s horn. The figure was carried over into your inner circle, and unceremonious dumped in a heap.

As the figure collected themselves, you noticed something odd. All the figures wore brown robes and were generally in good condition. Father’s own robes were immaculate, with bright red trim. It looked like it was even tailor-made. The one in front of you was clad in robes that were old and tattered, with randomly colored patches sewn on. Why was that?

“I hope this will be sufficient.” Father stated, and his horn glowed again. The raggedy figure’s cloak flew off, revealing another unicorn. Now you were no vet, but this one looked…unhealthy. Thin.Like, really thin. Visible bone-shapes thin. Looked like a pale blue rag was thrown over a pile of sticks.

“I apologize for the…quality of the sacrifice, but she is the only one we can spare.” He sighed, despondently. “We will need all the capable ponies we can get, but this one?”

He glared at the ‘sacrifice.’

“Expendable.” He sneered.

You just…stood there for a moment. Tried to process what was happening. Failed miserably.

“And…what exactly do you expect me to…do with her?” you finally managed to ask.

Father waved a hoof.

“Whatever you want. Eat her, torture her, use her to sate your infernal, abhorrent lust. I don’t care.” You noticed the skinny unicorn flinch with each tick off the list, but ‘I don’t care’ seemed to hurt her the most. You suddenly felt uncomfortable.

At least, more than you already did.

There was a long, painfully awkward silence. No one really seemed to know what to do.

“Well, um, we’ll just…give you some privacy to accept your offering…?” Father finally squeezed out. “We’ll discuss the details of our contract once you’re done. Come along.”

The crowd slowed out a doorway behind them, and you caught snippets of casual conversation. It was like they all forgot they were a demon-summoning cult hell-bent on overthrowing super-powered royalty. Weirdos.

Soon, it was just you and Skinny.

More awkward silence.

The entire time her orange eyes never moved off of you, like molten copper peaking through her unkempt sea-green mane.

”…So…what’s your name…?” you ask, trying to break the tension.

Skinny squeaked, but said nothing. Not that you blamed her, being a demonic sacrifice and all. To her credit, she stood her ground. Despite the constant shaking. Kinda impressive, actually.

You sat down, putting yourself at roughly eye-level with the unicorn. You hoped that would at least put her a little bit at ease. You were kind of grasping here, as you had no idea how to calm down a panicked, sapient magic horse.

When you made eye contact, she froze. Closing her eyes, she took several deep breathes. Then, she puffed out her chest(?) and met your gaze with a look of quiet resolve. She even managed to stop shaking. Mostly.

“M-my name…” she stammered “My name is Amber Gaze. With my name I-I bind my soul to your service I am yours todowithasyoupleasewhateveryoudesireIshallacceptMYLIFEISONLYWHATYOU-“ She just kept talking faster, louder and higher, all without stopping to breathe. It was kind of impressive, really.

“Woah, woah, time out.” You stopped her before she passed out. She froze, staring at you in terror. Made you feel like a parent that found a kid breaking something. You hoped she at least stopped to take a breath.

“H-have I offended you Master? I-I meant only to-“ she sniffled, and started crying. Now you just felt like a dick. And you hadn’t even done anything.

“Nono, don’t do that! I just didn’t want you croak on me.”

“O-oh…Yes, it makes sense. If I am to die, then it should be at your will alone.” She whimpered, wiping her eyes.

“What? No, I don’t want you to…Ugh, whatever.” You were getting frustrated and weirded out. Freirded out? Seemed right.

You felt pressing the matter wouldn’t get you anywhere, so it was better to just try and figure out what was going on.

“What was with all that? The whole ‘binding your soul to my service’ and whatever?”

“I am your sacrifice. I am only good for what you ask of me. My life is meaningless.” She immediately replied, almost robotically.

“Uh-huh. And is there any way I can convince you too…not do that?” You ask, rubbing your temples. Freirded again.

“I have given you my name. The pact is made, and cannot be undone. I admit, I thought it would hurt but,” she stopped, prostrating herself on the floor. “I’m sorry! I spoke out of turn! Please forgive me, I will accept whatever punishment you deem fit!”

“Um, it’s fine just…don’t be so hard on yourself…?” you were REALLY freirded out now. Amber looked at you in surprise.

“R-really? No horrific punishment?”

“Nope.”

“Huh. I didn’t think a demon would be so nice.”

You sighed.

“Maybe it’s because I’m not a demon, and ‘Father’ fucked up.”

Amber flinched.

“W-well, Father doesn’t fu-…mess up. Besides, what else could you be?”

“I’m a human.” You replied wearily.

“Is that type of demon?”

“No, it’s a…a kind of ape, I guess?”

“A demonic ape?”

You could only groan. This was going nowhere. She had it in her head that you were a demon, and it seemed nothing was going to change her mind. Besides, you were getting too tired to try anymore.

You studied her, not knowing what else to do. God she was thin. And it looked like there some scars on her back. Some had faded to the point of vanishing, but some looked more recent.

“Do…” you began “Do they treat you badly? The other cloaked guys?”

The mare blinked in surprise. She hadn’t expected that kind of question.

“I…I am treated how I deserve to be.” She said, looking away.

“That’s not what I asked, and you know it.”

Her breathing quickened.

“I-I…I’m treated as well I can expect to…”

Bullshit.

“Tell me the truth.” You sighed. “Your…’master’ commands it.” Saying that made you feel dirty. You didn’t want to be anyone’s master, but that’s where you were now. Gotta play through. “Are. You. Treated. Well?”

“…No…I’m not…” Amber finally admitted. “I am only allowed enough to survive…And I am punished for my failures.”

She glanced at her back.

“…I fail a lot…”

Tears began to flow again. Dammit, you were getting emotionally attached to dream horse. This was going to be in your mind all day.

You were going to comfort her, when suddenly to door flew open. Father and the rest of the hooded figure strode back into your chamber.

“Great One! Have you finished with- Oh, she’s still alive?” Father said, surprised. He waved away a few ponies with mops and buckets. “Were you pleased with your sacrifice, or…?” He trailed off, glaring at Amber.

You looked between the two unicorns. The tension was palpable.

“…No…No I was not.” You said.

Amber shrunk away as Father’s glare darkened.

“I see. I should have known she wasn’t even good enough for this. I’m certain we can-“

“Silence.”

You voice was quiet, but it boomed with an authority you didn’t know you had. For moment you wondered if this was some kind special kind of power, but really?

You were just fucking pissed.

“How dare you? You dare offer the dregs of you order, and expect it to be suitable? She has already treated so poorly, what would be the point in torture? Hell, death would be sweet release for her at this point!” You roared.

Honestly you were making this up as you went. You weren’t even sure why you were doing this, but it just kind of spilled out. All you could do now was keep going and hope it sounded intimidating. It seemed to work, as the crowd looked like they’d need those mops anytime now.

“You show me how treat the least amongst you, and you expect me to just give you the power to decide the fate of a nation? I may be a demon,” you put on your best sneer, “but even I have standards.”

Father looked like he wanted to say something, maybe to try and weasel his way out, but he was just too scared to make a sound. Amber was terrified, huddled as far away from you as she could while staying in your circle. A few in the crowd fainted.

“I will not deal with you until you have proven yourselves worthy.” You gesture to Amber. “Until then, the one you have mistreated most shall act in my stead. She will speak with my voice, and command from her is as a command from me. Is that understood?”

Father stared at you in shock, then nodded with a scowl. He backed out of the door with the others close behind. Amber couldn’t hide her bewilderment.

“Why…why would you do that for me? I-I don’t…” she trailed off.

You didn’t know the answer yourself. It would have been better for you if you had just demanded to be sent back, but if you did…Amber would have been blamed. It all just…happened.

You couldn’t help but notice she looked oddly adorable. Maybe it was the sudden exhaustion washing over you. Your hand started reaching for her head without your input. Amber flinched at your touch, but immediately relaxed when you scratched behind her ears. She closed her eyes like she was in a trance.

“Does it matter?” you ask.

“Mmm…nuuu…” she mumbled, as she began drifting off to sleep. Probably the best sleep she’s had in a while. Your own eyes began to feel heavy. As sleep began to fall over you, you just kept scratching her ears.

Huh, you thought, guess this isn’t a dream at least.

That was your last though before drifting off to sleep on Amber’s boney side.

At least she was warm.

Chapter 4

Your lungs burned as you ran. It had been a while since you had exercised, even before you had ended up here. Amber’s hooves on the floor echoes through the dimly-lit tunnel. She probably could have easily outran you, but instead she stayed close behind.

How long is this goddam tunnel!?

It felt like hours since the two of you had fled. Amber, unfortunately, had not been allowed much access to wherever you were, and as such didn’t know the layout very well. So the only choice had been to pick a tunnel blindly.

You had chosen poorly.

The tunnel you found yourself in was…well, shit. Loose stones were everywhere. Only the occasional torch was still burning on the walls, and they were dying to boot. Whatever magic batteries that kept them running for so long was probably wearing out, assuming that was a thing here. This tunnel was probably not used so much, and so had been allowed to rot.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally see an end to the tunnel. It was an old, wooden door that had an old-timey medieval feel. At first, it refused to budge. With a great heave, you manage to force the rusted door with a sickening screech. You hope no one heard that.

You blink against the contrasting light outside.

More running.

Eventually you could run no more, and collapsed. Trying to catch your breath, you sit up and try to get your bearings. You were in a lightly forested area, with a rocky hill behind you. That’s probably where the cult’s hideout was.

Amber trotted up next to you and sat down with a concerned look. Out of habit you began stroking her head, to which she didn’t object. As you managed to calm down and think, you couldn’t help but reflect on what had just happened. Or rather, what you could have done instead.

Should you have stayed, and tried to explain the situation? Just say “Yeah I don’t care what you do to this wacko, just leave me out,” and hope they don’t just blast you do ash? It could have worked. Then again, they seemed more the ‘blast first, blast again, then once more for good measure’ type. If there was a chance to negotiate, you’d probably missed it.

Maybe you could have taken one (if not all) their magic bling? You couldn't use pony magic. You’d tried, a little more than you’d like to admit. But that didn’t seem to be a problem with this. The non-unicorns used them just fine, so maybe you could to? They seemed to believe they had the power to send you home, so if you could figure out how to work them you could do it yourself? Although, without any clue how magic worked, you could easily just break them or yourself. Pawn them off for some cash? Local currency would be nice, and they looked valuable with all the gold and jewels and stuff. But wouldn’t any town or shop that saw you just freak out? Even without the whole ‘demon’ thing, you still looked weird to them.

Could have brought one of the friendlier cultists with you. Some of them were genuinely nice, if a little misguided. Like Anarchy. You didn’t think he deserved to rot in some jail cell somewhere. Although, given how winded you were carrying yourself here, carrying an unconscious horse probably would only slow you down. That and the cult was ultimately loyal to Father, so they’d likely stab you in the back. Maybe literally.

What if you brought one of those ‘Elements’ with you? Try on convince them you’re not a threat? Wimpy or Prissy would’ve been the best choices, they seemed like they wouldn’t put much of a…fight…

Okay, thinking it over, that just seemed creepy.

You let out a sigh, bemoaning your lack of action. You’d panicked, and just wanted to get out. So here you were, in the middle of nowhere, with no clue what to do next or where to go. Moving on was probably for the best, but you were tired. Besides the Elements would probably be out for a while, then they’d be busy with Father for a while, and then they’d have to figure out which way you’d gone. By then you could be miles away. There was time to rest for a moment.

So here you sat with your back to a tree, with your only friend in this world: A scared unicorn that was currently enjoying an ear-scratch induced trance.

Now that you thought about it, could you actually trust her? After all, she was apart of the cult that had forced you here. Granted the relationship was downright horrific to her, but still. A traitor is still a traitor. And this particular traitor had willingly freed a creature she thought to be some terrible being with devastating power. Would she sell you out? Try to get power of her own? Or would she just…leave you all alone in this strange world that had only ever tried to use or destroy you? Which was the worst she could do to you? What was going on behind that admittedly adorable face?

You stop scratching, eliciting a tiny whine of protest.

“Amber, we need to talk.” You state firmly. The mare stares at you, with fear and unease forming behind her gaze.

“W-what is it, Master?” she stammered.

“Why…why did you do that?” you ask, crossing your arms.

Amber didn’t answer immediately, shifting her weight as she found the dirt very interesting.

“…You…You’re the only one who’s every been nice to me in a long time. I…I didn’t want you to g-go away…” she choked, her eyes getting wet, “I know it’s selfish, and I know you probably just want to go back to your home but…” She couldn’t go on as she broke down in ugly sobs.

…Okay, so she probably wasn’t planning to turn against you. Or maybe she was an amazing actress and you were an incredible sucker. Either way, you couldn’t just sit there like a jackass. (Was that a slur here? Question for later.)

Wrapping your arm around her neck, you draw her in for a hug.

“…Thanks.”

Amber looked up at you with a sad smile.

“I had to do something. You’re my Master after all.”

“Quit calling me that. I’m not anyone’s Master.”

She cocked her head.

“’Anyone?’ You mean ‘anypony,’ Master?” she asked.

You wave your hand.

“Whatever, same thing. And quit calling me that.”

Amber giggled.

“You’re a strange one, Master. Even for a demon.”

“Maybe it’s because I’m not a demon and Father’s dumb ass.” You groan.

Silence filled the area. You found yourself studying Amber. In your time here you hadn’t much else to do but study these ponies, yet there were still things that couldn’t quite figure out. While you had barely made it this far without passing out, Amber wasn’t even winded. This was still the same mare that looked like she was on death’s door less than a month ago, and she was still out pacing you. Must be a horse thing. Or you were just out of shape. Maybe both.

The strangest thing, however, was on her back legs. There was a picture of a stylized eye with an orange rock for a pupil. It was on each of her sides. You’d seen it before, but now was the first time you really thought about it. Amber didn’t strike you as a tattoo kind of girl. Maybe it was a cult thing? Maybe all the cultists had the same one? A show of loyalty or something? No harm in asking, right?

“Didn’t take you for the ‘tramp-stamp’ type.”

“What?” she replied, her cocking to the side in confusion.

“That picture on your leg. Was it a cult entry tattoo kinda thing?” you say as your point to her leg.

“You mean my cutie mark? Everypony has one, but each one is different. You probably didn’t notice the others before because none of them took of their robes around you. I guess demons don’t get marks, right?” she explained.

“I’m not-“you sigh. Not worth the effort. “No, these are kind of a new thing for me. Do they do anything?”

“It appears when a foal discovers their special talent. Mostly it happens just before puberty.”

“Huh. So, what’s yours?”

“Wuh..?” she blinked.

“Y’know, your ‘special talent.’ What’s yours?” you asked, giving her a playful nudge on her shoulder.

Amber didn’t’ reply as the ground became fascinating to her again.

“Um, Amber, if it’s something really personal for you ponies, you don’t have to-“ you start.

“No, no! It’s just…” she started, but trailed off. She pawed in dirt, deep in thought. Taking a deep breath, she started again.

“I found my talent rather late. I was beginning to think I’d never find out what is was. But then, during a visit to a rock farm, I found it.”

You sat in silence, deciding now wasn’t the time to ask what the hell a ‘rock farm’ was for.

“I found a piece of amber. You know, fossilized tree sap? This one wasn’t all that special, it didn’t have a bug or a leaf in it but…Something happened.” She stopped her voice catching in her throat.

“…And…?” you gently prompted.

“…I had a vision. I saw an explosion of color, like a prismatic fire spreading across the sky. When I told Father about it, he didn’t believe me. Not at first, at least. Not until it happened, just like I saw it. Clairvoyance. That’s what my cutie mark is for. Father couldn’t have been happier. Until…” Amber looked away, but you could see the tears beginning to form.

“What happened? Seeing the future like that is something he’d want on his side.”

“…Because I don’t see the future. Not exactly. My visions aren’t all that…precise.” She whispered.

“So…what you see doesn’t necessarily always happen?”

Amber shook her head.

“No. I see what might happen, but that’s not what will happen. When he found out Father was…” a hoof drifted to her scarred back. “…displeased…”

“Oh…” It was a stupid thing to say, but it was all you could think of. You reminded her of all the terrible things Father did to her even when she was a filly…Wait…

“Father was around even when you were a filly? How’d that work?”

Her copper eyes met yours.

“Well, he did raise me.”

“Oh, okay then WAITWHAT!?” you shout. “He’s like, your actual father!?”

Amber flinched.

“Yes, he actually started calling himself that after I accidentally said it in front of a few members. It was after he found out my talent wasn’t as useful as he thought it would. He didn’t want to acknowledge we were related.”

You had no words. You felt numb. The one thing you could feel was hate. No, that wasn’t strong enough. Fury. Still not exact, but it was better. Your relationship with your own father wasn’t exactly stellar, but this was on a different level entirely.

“That bastard! What kind of father- I can’t- He doesn’t have the right to call himself that!” you managed to sputter out through your unbridled rage.

“W-well I des-“

“NO! Don’t you even go there!” you cut her off, and swept her up in a hug. You were pretty sure you heard her spine pop a few times, but you didn’t care. She needed a hug, and much more. There wasn’t a doubt left in your mind, you were going to protect this precious child. “You didn’t deserve that, any of it! And if you keep thinking you do, I will stop scratching your ears I swear to GOD!”

Ambers looked like a frightened rabbit in your arms, with her ears flattened on her head and her eye little more than a pinprick. Her light blue face suddenly turned very red with a blush.

“O-okay, Master…” she squeaked.

The two of you stared for an awkward moment. You were still pissed, but after your outburst you’d lost a lot of steam.

“W-we should keep moving…” you finally say.

“Y-yes, Master. Um, could you please…?” she trailed off, glancing from you to the ground.

“Oh, right, sorry…” you realize, and set her gently on the ground.

You decide not to go on at a full sprint, but still with some semblance of speed. Distance and speed were important, but exhausting yourself wasn’t going to help much. As the two of you continued through the trees, you noticed Amber was staying a bit further away than before with a far-off expression. Great, you fucked up. Again. You felt pressing the matter wouldn’t help, so you continued forward.

As you went on your way at a jog, you had your own thoughts.

Specifically, what was the most satisfying way to get revenge on a horse?

Chapter 5

Author's Note

((Two things here:

1) This chapter is mostly here for a transition. I might smush it together with the next one, depending on how that one turns out.

2) I did not expect all your...creative suggestions for what to do to Father. :twilightoops: I honestly don't know whether to be impressed or concerned.

Chapter 5

The wind whipped through your hair as you and Amber stood in the middle of the field. Given the situation, being in the open like this probably wasn’t the best idea. Every so often, you look nervously to the sky, almost waiting to see one of those Pegasus diving towards you at high speed.

Okay, not Wimpy. She looked like the type to be afraid of heights.

The Elements were undoubtedly hunting you down now. It had been a few days since your escape from the compound, so they were likely awake and after you. Whatever Father had done probably wasn’t lethal, because releasing a toxic gas or whatever when you were close to it would have just been moronic.

Then again…this was Father.

Currently, your progress was impeded by a decision. In this field was a set of train tracks of all things. A part of you wanted to be surprised, but at this point you felt sort of numb to this place’s brand of crazy.

You had three options: forward, left, or right. Doubling back was probably not the best idea for your continued survival. Ahead of you was more open field, which as previously mentioned, may not be the best idea. Train tracks meant civilization. If nothing else, it was a better option to get supplies than foraging in the wilderness.

To your left seemed to be a mountain range. Based on the vague recollection of your brief stint in Scouting, you guessed it was to the North of you. It was a way off, but still reachable. While the idea of climbing those didn’t exactly excite you, it would be a good place to hide.

The tracks to the South appeared to head to a bridge over a deep, rocky gorge. So either way it was rock climbing, it was just a matter of whether you wanted to go up first then down, or vice versa.

“What do you think, left or right?” you ask, turning to Amber.

She thought for a moment tapping her chin with a hoof.

“If I remember right, Canterlot’s to the North in the mountains. That’s where the Princesses are.”

“The Princesses. The stupidly over-powered, possibly immortal, quasi celestial deities I’ve been forcefully summoned to overthrow despite my overall lack powers, skills, or basic knowledge of the world I’ve found myself in?”

There was a long moment of silence as the two of you weighed your options.

“Right.” You both say in unison.

The air was cool in the chasm as your helped Amber clamber down the rocky slope. She was able to use her magic to clear a path down, but still needed your help past the steeper parts. Apparently hooves weren’t the best on rocky slopes.

The bridge towered above you. You wished you could have crossed it, but it was too narrow for you be comfortable. Besides, you seen too many movies to trust train tracks on a bridge. It would be just your luck to meet a locomotive halfway across.

To your dismay, the cliffside opposite was nearly straight up. No way you could climb it, much less while helping Amber.

“What do you think, should we head back up?” you ask the unicorn.

"I’d rather not. If we need to climb again, I think we should be making progress. We need to keep ahead of the Elements.” She warned.

You nod, and look down the chasm to you right.

“Maybe it flattens up down that way. Might as well keep going.”

Hours passed you walked, your feet screaming in protest. The sky above turned orange as you assumed the sun was setting, you couldn’t see above the walls of the chasm. You noticed Amber was looking nervous. Well, even more nervous than normal.

“You okay? You don’t look so good.” You ask.

“It’s not good to be out in the open in a place like this…especially at night.” She whispered.

"Why? It’s not like there are monsters out here, right?” you joke.

Amber didn’t laugh, and instead kept looking over her shoulder.

“…Right…?” you ask again, far less confidant.

She didn’t answer, but the look she gave you was clear enough.

Suddenly finding a place to hole up for the night became your top priority.

Ironically, the best place you found was, in fact, a hole. A decent-sized cave in the cliff, only a foot or so taller than yourself. You didn’t want to take the risk in trying find anywhere better, so it would have to do.

Grateful for the rest, you sit against the cavern wall. Closing your eyes, you wondered if Amber was going to take her usual place in your lap. It had become her favorite place to sleep while you were with the cult, but ever since you’d left she’d felt a bit…distant.

Sure enough you heard her hoofsteps stop nearby, followed by the shuffling sounds as she settled down.

You crack your eyes open and steal a glance at her. She was laying on her side against the opposite wall, and staring intently at the cave’s entrance. Her ears were upright, and twitched at the slightest sound. She reminded of you of a nervous cat, alert for any potential danger.

“Are there really monsters out there?” you ask after a moment.

“Father always said that the world was filled with monsters that would gobble up any pony they came across. I never knew if was telling the truth but…” she shook her head. “I don’t know what to believe anymore…”

“…You want to talk about it..?”

“Is that an order, Master?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then I think I’d rather get some sleep.” She laid down, clearly done with the conversation.

You sigh to yourself, and close your eyes again. If she didn’t want to talk, you weren’t going to force her. Settling into the most comfortable position you could manage against the rocks, you let exhaustion take over.

It didn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep.

Chapter 6

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 7

Numbness spread over your entire body. Your stomach fell to the soles of your feet as you processed the empty space before you.

Questions flooded your mind. Where did Amber go? Maybe she left to get food or something? Would she be back soon?

Would she come back at all?

You shook yourself out of your fugue state. Sitting there like a lump wasn’t going to help.

As you got up, your hand painfully scraped against the wall. Taking a closer look, you noticed the sides of the cave didn’t look…natural. Being so tired the night before, you hadn’t noticed the rough walls. You weren’t a geologist, but you guessed a natural cave would be smoother. This cave looked like it was carved out artificially. Did Horseyland have a mining operation here?

As you investigated the spot where Amber had slept, you noticed something. It about half as long as your index finger, and a yellowish white. As you picked it up you noticed was hard and smooth. One end looked like it had been broken off, and the other tapered down to a razor point. Your blood ran cold as you realized what it was.

A fang. And a big one.

Something had taken Amber. Something big, and with teeth.

You felt panic start to set in, but you managed to force it back. Loosing your cool wouldn’t help her. There wasn’t any blood, so you were sure Amber was alive when she was taken. Whatever had taken her had probably ambushed her while she was asleep, which had likely earned it a startled hoof to the jaw. You pocket the tooth, and moved on.

You weren’t sure if Amber had escaped her assailant or not, so that left you with the problem of deciding where to look for her. Out in the canyon, or deeper in the cave. Stepping outside, you blink against the mid-day sun. There was no sight of Amber or what ever had attacked her in sight. All you found was a hefty branch that had fallen from the bluffs above. Better than nothing.

Looking back to the cave, you noticed a faint glimmer. As you moved closer you saw shining arrow reflecting the sunlight. You hadn’t seen it earlier because it looked glass or something, and only reflected a certain way.

The arrow pointed deeper into the cave, so that’s where you decided to go.

Light from the entrance quickly faded, leaving you in the darkness, alone with your thoughts. Whatever had taken Amber was likely a predator of some kind. Teeth like that weren’t for munching carrots. So why wasn’t there any other sign of a fight? No blood, no fur, only a single broken tooth and a weird arrow. And why hadn’t it come after you? You hadn’t woken up when she was attacked right next to you, so you would have been an easy target. So why had it seemly dragged a magic horse that had already kicked one of its teeth out? Like most things in this world, it didn’t make sense.

Ahead of you, you saw light around a corner. Erring on the side of caution, you took your time and peaked around the corner.

You saw Amber. Alive and well.

Kind of.

She seemed to alright physically, but her situation was for from preferable. A large metal yoke was hooked around her neck, which in turn connected to mining cart of some kind. A crudely-made muzzle blocked most of her face, but from her eyes you could tell she was frightened.

You were about to go to help her, but the sound of approaching voices coaxed to reconsider.

“You sure Pony can’t speak?” one voice squeaked.

“Yes. No chance of ear-hurt this time!” a second replied.

“Good. Kick hurt mouth enough…” a third growled.

From the far end of the cavern three large figures led a crowd towards Amber. It took you a minute to make them out but when you did, well…

Up to this point you had seen quite a few things, most of which you would have previously deemed ‘impossible.’ Magic, talking horses, rainbow lasers, and amalgamate chaos deities to be specific. Taking all that into account, what you saw shouldn’t have been too much of a surprise. Perhaps it was just the sheer weight of all you had witnessed up until this point, and what little patience you had left was broken by this comparatively simple thing.

Standing in a large chamber ahead of you were dogs. Not normal dogs, no. That would be too simple for this god-forsaken place. No, they were huge. Most of them were seven feet tall, some of them bigger. The tallest was at least eight. They all had big teeth, big claws, and were outrageously muscular. Some even had plate armor, while the leaders wore leather vests, because why the fuck not.

You stood there for a moment. Your eye twitched. At first, you thought it was out of shock. Slowly, you realized that you were just done. Out of everything you had endured up to this point, this was the last straw.

Before you realized, you found yourself striding into the chamber. One of the dogs, noticed you and howled an alarm. In seconds you were surrounded by spears. A bit cliché, but the fact they were being held by snarling anthro dogs bucked the trend a bit. You managed to meet the gaze of a concerned Amber before the three leaders shoved their way to the front of the pack.

“Who are you!?” the embodiment of the ‘Napoleon Complex,’ barked.

“What are you!?” snarled the one that looked like Smeagle in a fursuit.

“Why’re you here!?” furry boulder with arms roared.

“Wow, okay, way to spray.” You said flatly as you wiped spittle off your face. “Well I’m a human, I’m here for my friend you got chained up over there, and my name is-“

“LITTLE PONY IS OURS!” all three howled.

“You really yelling, don’cha?” you replied as your ears ring.

“Last pony very useful! Found gems, pulled cart!” Tiny yapped.

“But it always whined! Made ears hurt!” Smeagle whined, ironically.

“This one can’t find gems, but still can pull.” Bruno grumbled.

The three of them crowded around Amber, staring you down smugly. Amber looked uncomfortable.

“And Little Pony can’t talk!” The three Muttkateers laughed.

As they laughed, you too stock of the situation. Things looked…well, shit. You were surrounded by giant dogs, each of which could easily tear you to shreds in seconds. Honestly, the spears seemed superfluous all things considered. The odds of you fighting your way through them, saving Amber, and escaping, all while armed a dumb branch were basically zero.

Good going genius.

Bruno was suddenly in your face, glaring.

“Wait…you were with Little Pony…Why didn’t we see you?” he snarled.

Smeagle smacked Tiny.

“You found Pony, why didn’t you see Thing?!” he accused.

“It was dark! It looked like rocks!” Tiny growled, and the two began rolling in the dirt, snapping and snarling.

“Not important now.” Bruno said.

The two cantankerous canines froze mid-brawl.

“He’s right! Now we have Little Pony-“ Tiny began.

“And New Thing!” Smeagle finished.

The three howled, and three of the dogs disappeared into a tunnel. A moment later they returned, carrying another set of a yoke, cart, and muzzle.

The Lupine Leaders began dancing around laughing and singing: “More work! More work! More work!”

Yeah fuck that.

Maybe they’d smack you around before slapping you in chains, or maybe they’d just kill you. If the former happened, you’d be able to wait for a better chance to make a move. And if it was the latter, at least your problems would be over. The more rational part of your brain was screaming to just let things play out and wait, but another side won out.

The side that was just tired.

Tired of running, tired from a horrible and just plain weird night’s sleep, tired of just waiting for thing to get better, and most of all sick and tired of the non-stop train off bullshit that you’d been forced to endure since you got to this stupid place.

So as the dogs approached you with their tools of oppression you raised your branch high with a mighty roar, ready to do your best to smash the closest dogs’ teeth out…

And the branch slipped from your grasp.

All eyes watched in silence as it sailed across the room and clattered to the floor.

Silence fell.

Of course. Of fucking course.

The one time you grew a spine and finally stood up for yourself, you fucked it up. And now the only thing you could do was wait to be mauled. You just hoped Amber didn’t have a good view.

The dark shadow of one of the dogs approached. You closed your eyes and waited for the inevitable.

And waited.

And waited some more.

You cracked open one eye to see what was taking so long. A dog was sitting in front of you, it’s tail wagging furiously. It dropped the branch to the floor and looked at you expectantly. Cautiously, slowly, you reach down and pick up the branch. All eye are fixed on you as you stand up and wind it back. The instant you toss the stick a horde of hounds pile after it, barking and slobbering everywhere.

Huh, you thought to yourself, I guess a giant armored dog is still a dog.

A plan forms in your head. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was more than you had a minute ago.

Just like before, the branch was dropped at your feet.

You raised the branch above your head, and addressed your enraptured audience.

“You want this?” you asked.

“Yes! Please!” Tiny barked.

“This? You want this?” you waved the branch around.

“Give it to us!” Bruno roared.

“Are you sure?” you mocked.

“I don’t know why but YES!” Gremlin begged.

Not wanting to disappoint, you heaved the stick with all of your might. You paused only long enough to make sure your distraction was going to last, then make a dash over to Amber. The yoke around her neck was fixed in place with a rusty latch. It took a few moments of struggle, but you managed to wrench it off. A glance over your shoulder told you that you were running out of time. Most of the armored dogs were unconscious on the ground, and the three leaders were fighting over the stick. Fortunately, they were facing away from the two of you.

Amber motioned to her muzzle.

“Sorry, no time.” You said, shaking your head. Amber shot you a glare, but seemed to understand.

It was a mad dash out of the caverns. You couldn’t help looking over your shoulder from time to time to see if you were being followed. Luckily you weren’t, but the paranoia was driving you crazy. After was seemed like ages, you made it out into the sunlight. Neither of wanted to slow down at that particular moment, so you tore your way down the canyon. Eventually you found a easy slope, which the two of you scrambled up. The hope was that you’d lose them in the forest above, if they were in fact added to your growing list of pursuers.

You collapsed in a heap. If nothing else, you were getting great cardio in your short time here. Amber shuffled up next to you, pointing to the muzzle on her face.

“Oh, right, lemme get that.” You mumble, and you spend a few minutes fumbling with the latch. Finally you get it off, and Amber gives you a weak smile.

“Thanks.” She says, almost a whisper.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence. You rub the back of your neck.

“Look, I…I’m sorry. I should’ve been able to help you sooner, but something…” you stop. How would you describe Discord to her? Would she even believe you? Before you think of a response, Amber speaks up.

“No, it’s fine. It was late, you tired, so I get why you didn’t wake up. Besides, I don’t think you could’ve done much against Diamond Dogs. You may be a demon, but it doesn’t seem like you’re a very strong one.” She paused. “I mean no offense, Master.”

“I…yeah sure…” you sigh “So, Diamond Dogs, huh? That’s what those are?”

Amber nodded.

“I’ve only heard about them before, but they seem like what I was told. Most ponies regard them as a nuisance, since they’re not all that smart. Probably how that stick trick worked. They don’t often mess with us, since they’re really only interested in gems. Like these.” She remarked as she produced a sizeable sack that jingled as it moved.

“…Gems…?” Oh right, you remembered them saying something about that…

In response Amber dumped the bag out on the ground. You’d never seen so many different gemstones in such quantities before. Rubies, emeralds, diamonds, and probably gems you didn’t even know the name of were laid out in front of you. To think just about a month ago, you were a nearly broke college grad scraping by on a ‘minimum’ wage job. Now…well, you were fucking rich.

“I…I don’t even know what to say…We’re rich!” you stammered.

Amber cocked her head.

“Well it’s not that much, but it’s enough to live on for a while.”

You stared at her.

“But…all these…”

“Honestly it’d be better it these were bits, but gems will have to do.”

“Are these…not valuable…?”

“Kind of. The values vary from each stone. I was never good with the conversion rates.” She replied, rubbing her chin.

“So gems here are basically a different currency? Damn, back home this would set you up for years, if not your whole life.”

“Really? A shame we’re stuck here then.” Amber giggled softly as she scooped the haul back into the bag with her magic.

Wait.

“Amber…” you say slowly.

“What is it, Master?” she said with a slight edge of fear to her voce, likely fearing she did something to offend you.

“Why didn’t you use your magic to free yourself? Like, levitate the latch of the cart or something?”

There was a long moment of silence. Amber’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks. She facepalmed (er, hoofed?).

“I…forgot…” she squeaked as she tried to cover her embarrassment. “I managed to steal a gem and make an arrow for you, but…I did that with my hooves…I completely forgot about my magic…”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, you were terrified, so I don’t blame you. Honestly, I’d probably do the same.”

Amber smiled weakly, still blushing.

“I was…And my magic isn’t the best…so I don’t know what I could have done…”

“Oh really? Darn.”

Another long silence.

“Y’know…” you start “It think this may be the longest we’ve talked since we left. Why is that?”

Amber shuffled uncomfortably.

“I guess…it’s because…I’m trying to figure things out.” She replied slowly after a moment. “Father…how much did he lie to me? All he ever told me was that ponies would want to use me because of my talent, then he goes and does the same thing! Then when I got something wrong, he said I was useless! He didn’t see me as a pony, just a…a tool, I get that now, but…”

She choked on her words, tears forming in her eyes.

“Did…did he ever care? Even a little…?”

Her shoulders shook as she broke down in sobs. You…didn’t know what to do. Dealing with other peoples’/ponies’ feelings was never really your strong suits.

Still, you couldn’t sit there like a douchebag while Amber was having a breakdown. So, the best you could think to do was put your arm around her.

It seemed to help.

“I…I may not have the answer but…” you grip her tighter, “I’ll be with you, and I’ll do my best to help you figure it out.”

Amber smiled.

“Thank you…” she whispered. Reflex kicked in, and you began scratching her ears. She leaned into it, and her hind leg even kicked slightly.

Soon, you noticed she had fallen asleep. You couldn’t blame her, she probably didn’t get too much sleep last night. There was still the concern the Diamond Dogs could track you down. They were DOGS after all, and you weren’t that far away from the canyon.

Aw, to hell with it, I’ll just throw another stick. You thought, and settled against Amber for a nap.

Chapter 8

The mid-afternoon breeze tickled your face as you dozed against the tree line. It was boring, but there wasn’t much you could do while you waited for Amber to return from the nearby town. You had considered going with her, but knowing your luck you would have run smack into the Princess’ teahouse or some bullshit like that.

It had been a stroke of luck that you had found this town to start with, and you weren’t going to jeopardize a much-needed supply run. So Amber had gone in alone. There was that nagging question as to whether or not she’d come back, or send some strike force after you, but you had gotten better at ignoring it.

Things had calmed down considerably in the week after what you’d heroically faced down an entire army of ravenous, bloodthirsty, possible rabid Diamond Dogs. They hadn’t pursued you, and Pony Team Six were nowhere to be found. You weren’t sure if they had given up on you, or were just morons. Given your (admittedly limited) experience with the locals, you were leaning to the latter.

Not Amber, of course. She was brilliant. It had taken a bit of gently prying, but she had opened up impressively. Turns out buried beneath the fear and abuse she was adaptable, brave, and becoming more joyous by the day. She was smiling more, laughing, and didn’t seem to care she was essentially a wanted mare on the run with an interdimensional interloper. In fact, she seemed to relish in it. You couldn’t help but admire it, the way she could take all this in stride.
In the interest of keeping the smile on that adorable face, you did your best to avoid mentioning ‘Dear Ol’ Dad.’ Even though it was mostly for Amber’s sake, it was also to keep you from losing your cool. You considered yourself a mostly level-headed person, but that bastard…Suffice to say he got you heated rather quickly. To see the amazing mare that Amber truly was, and remembering the withered shell of a pony you had first met when you got here…It infuriated you. If you could just get your hand on that slimy…

No. No, you wouldn’t go down that path.

It was bad enough most ponies thought you were a demon and confirming that would only make things worse. Though it may be worth it…

No, no, focus on the positives. Like Amber. You reminded yourself.

Amber…She was the only good thing you’ve had this entire time. You felt at ease with her around, happier even. Hell, you were sleeping better with her in the woods than you had in years in your own world. Then again, rocks and dirt versus a half-moldy mattress on the floor weren’t that different. That aside, being here with Amber…felt right.

Wait.

Where you…?

“Master!” Amber announced, snapping your attention away from your thoughts. She galloped up the hill, a pair of saddlebags flopping at her sides.

“You get everything?” you asked.

Amber nodded.

“Yes. Food, water, just about everything we need for now.”

“Good, good. Oh, you get that string I asked for?”

“Um, yes I did. What did you need it for?” she replied, floating the requested string over to you
with her magic.

You didn’t answer immediately, instead, you turned your back to Amber and dug around in your pocket for something. The past few nights you had found yourself digging through the bag of gems. Sure it was equivalent to digging through a bag of change, but it felt nice. Kind of like shoving your hands in those tubs of colored rocks at cheap gift shops. During one of those digging exercises, you found something you felt deserved to be saved.

After a moment filled with fiddling, you managed to complete your project. With a grin, you presented it to Amber. Her eyes widened.

“Is that…?” she whispered.

“Yeah, it is.”

In your hand was a smooth chunk of amber. (The old tree sap, not the pony). It was about half the size of your palm, and inside was a small leaf vaguely in the shape of a heart. You had tied the string around it to make a makeshift necklace. Carefully you hung it around your companion’s neck.

“I…I don’t know what to say…” Amber said, mystified. She tore her gaze away from her namesake to look at you. She had tears in her eyes. “Thank you…”

“It…it was nothing…Just thought you’d like it.” You reply, rubbing the back of your neck.

Amber snuggled up to her usual position at your side, and you obliged her obvious request for ear scritches. For once, life was good.

“Hey…I haven’t done this for a while, but…Would like for me to use it? My talent, I mean.” She asked after a moment.

“Really? Sure, I mean, if you don’t mind. Don’t want to pressure you or anything.”

“I offered, didn’t I?” she giggled and gave you a playful tap with her hoof. The unicorn got up and stretched. “Now, I should tell you, what I get is mostly random information. I can direct it to a certain topic, but there’s no telling how much I’ll get, or even if it’ll actually happen.”

“Okay. Honestly, I’m just curious about how this works.”

Amber smiled.

“Well, you're about to find out. Any requests?”

You thought for a moment. What should you ask for? If you were being honest, there was really one thing you wanted to know.

“Will I ever go home? Or will I stay here forever waiting to axed by a horsey hit squad?”

Amber paused and looked at you with sad eyes. She didn’t say a word, but slowly nodded.

Closing her eyes, she focused her magic on the amber, raising it to her face. The orange light dancing off the stone like fire. Amber’s eyes snapped open, her orange eyes blazing like two pools of molten copper. She stood there motionless, her magic dancing around her nose and cheeks.

You felt…odd sitting there, waiting. Where you supposed to do something here? Or just wait? How long would this-

“GAH!” Amber yelled as she stumbled back, and almost fell over. You scrambled to help her keep her balance.

“Are you okay?” you question.

“Y-Yes, I think so…” She answered, massaging her temple. “That was…more intense than I thought it would…”

“Intense? How so?”

Amber looked away.

“I-it…it’s nothing. Probably wrong, anyway.” She whispered.

“What did you see?” you asked.

“Nothing!” Amber yelled.

“Amber.”

“NO! Forget it!”

“Amber.”

“NO!”

“…Amber…”

She met your gaze. Fear and worry-filled those copper eyes, obscured by her shimmering tears.

“Please don’t make me say it. It might come true…”

You sweep her up in a tight hug.

“Amber, I told you, we’re in this together. Whatever you saw, we’ll face it head-on. Do you believe that?”

“…yes…” she mumbled as she dried her tears on your shirt.

“Besides, you said it yourself: Whatever you saw may not even happen, right?”

She managed a weak smile.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” she frowned. “But what I saw…what if it does…?”

“We’ll get to that when, and if, it comes. So why don’t you tell me what you saw, and we’ll go from there. Deal?”

“…Okay…”

She pulled away and cleared her throat.

“It was…fragmented, but what made out was not good. I saw you…surrounded by the Elements of Harmony. I saw the Princesses too. They fired, you didn’t have time to move…You were…gone…I don’t what happened to you after that.”

You took a moment to process that.

“Okay, that’s not good. Although, they could have just sent me home.”

Amber nodded.

“There’s more. There were flashes, in between. Lightning, teeth flashing, rain, and…

“…Blood.”

You didn’t know what to say. But you had to say some-

“I wasn’t there! When you were surrounded, I didn’t see myself there! Something happened to me!”

“I-…I’m sure you’re fine…” you try to reassure her as you reached out to her.

“That’s not the point! I WASN’T THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED ME!”

Silence.

“Amber…”

“We…we’re supposed to be together in this but…where was I? What happened to me? Why couldn’t I help you…?” she sobbed.

“Amber. I’m more concerned about you. I don’t want anything to happen to you. And I don't want you to think that you don't matter.”

She wiped her eyes with the back of her foreleg.

“But…I still want to be able to help you…”

You ruffled up her mane.

“Well, how about why look out for each other, then? After everything we’ve faced together, what’s stopping us from defying fate itself?” you joke with a grin.

Amber chirped a short laugh.

“Nothing, I guess.”

Chapter 9

Nothing may have stopped you, but the rain and the damn mud would certainly slow you down. The two of you trudged through the muck, soaked to the bone. No words were spoken, at least none that you could hear over the downpour.

It had been a few hours after Amber’s supply run. Things had been looking up, and you had headed further into the woods for safety. The hope had been those supplies would last you two until you found another town. But the forest here seemed…off. The weather had been calm and clear when suddenly a storm had rolled in out of nowhere out of the blue.

Lightning coiled across the sky, and thunder shook you to your core.

We can’t keep going in this…you thought, we’ll either get fried or drown. Don’t wanna risk us getting separated, either.

Although she couldn’t hear you, it seemed Amber had the same idea. She was frequently looking over her shoulder to make sure you still there.

Apparently whatever god ruled this place decided you’d had enough punishment for once, and you came across a large cave. Once inside, the first thing you did was take a closer look at the back end of the cave. Had to make sure there weren’t any Crystal Corgis, or Slate Shiba’s, or whatever cave-dwelling bullshit could be thrown at you. Thankfully the cave didn’t go back all that far. You guessed it was about twenty feet high, and about fifty to the back. No smaller tunnels, no cavern critters, nothing.

Finally, you sighed to yourself I catch a break.

……

Huh, I half expected that to blow up in my fa-

A mighty roar shook the surrounding area, somehow drowning out the rain and the thunder. Whatever it was, it was BIG and it was CLOSE.

…There go…

The ground began to shake as a fucking MASSIVE BEAR appeared out of the tree line. And not like a large bear, no, this thing was taller than some of the trees, blue for some reason, and it looked like it was made of starlight. It also looked soaked, tired, and pissed off.

Amber took a few steps back, her eyes wide and her ears flat against her head.

“What…is that?” you hissed to her. “Is this a bad thing?”

“An Ursa Minor…” she whispered back. “Very, very bad.”

You look around frantically for a place to hide.

No such luck. The cave was practically empty, with no place to hide and only a few rocks laying around. Maybe there was enough time for the two of you to dart out of the cave and-

A deep growl told you your time was up.

You’d thought the Diamond Dogs had big teeth, but the fangs in front of you made those look like tiny thorns. It was like looking at a cage made of ivory, only pointy and more likely to end in horrific dismemberment. An unholy growl reverberated through the cave shaking you to your core.

Amber said…something. Either you couldn’t hear her over the growl, or your ears had shut down out of fear. You were vaguely aware of her magic weakly trying to tug you away from the beast. If you had to guess, she was probably trying to urge you to run. Or something like that. Whatever she was trying to do wasn’t likely to happen. Everything had just…shut down.

Air rushed past your face as the bear snarled once more. It opened its maw, preparing to snap you up into whatever heaven or hell awaited you. Kinda ironic when you thought about it.

-THWACK-

A rock hit the monster in the snout. Another followed seconds later, this one hitting it directly in the eye. It snarled in fury and snapped its head to the right. Amber stood defiant, several rock floating in her grasp, and only slightly trembling.

The mighty bear raised it immense paw and swung at your equine companion. She stood her ground and faced her destiny.

Time slowed.

Thoughts emptied.

Your body began to move. Why were you moving now, when you could have moved to save yourself mere moments before?

Something more important.

Just before she was crushed, your shoulder connected with Amber’s. You managed to propel her out destruction’s path. Unfortunately, that meant the paw was coming straight at your face.

Huh, your last thought echoed throughout your mind, at least I did something worthwhile.

You didn’t even feel it when you got hit. Shock’s a hell of a drug, apparently. Unfortunately, it didn’t help as much as you flew though the air. Serious airtime, at least forty feet straight into solid, unyielding stone, and you were not exactly going slow. You definitely felt a rib snap, maybe three, along with several other bones. Not like you were too interested in counting at the moment. At least it wasn’t your neck. The pain was…incredible, to say the least.

Your vision managed to focus after a moment, and you saw Amber running towards you. She screamed… something, but your ears wouldn’t stop ringing. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to get to you, but the bear cut her off. The bear barreled towards her, fangs and claws flashing as the lightning crashed outside.

The pain spiked as you tried to move. As much as you wanted to, your body had tapped out. You were forced to watch as Amber fought for her life. To her credit, she managed to last a good while. Unfortunately, she ran out of room to run as she hit the wall of the cave. The beast brought up a massive paw that sent her sailing straight up into the air.

Time slowed again.

Your eyes met. She looked…sad.

She hit the floor. Hard.

And didn’t move again.

You began tremble, less from pain, but from rage. At the monster, yourself, this whole fucking world. If only you could just DO SOMETHING.

The monster leaned over, its massive jaw opened to snap up your friend as you lay helpless.

Suddenly a sack flew out from the darkness, connecting with the beast’s snout, which exploded into a yellowish-green powdery cloud. The bear reared up, pawing at its face furiously. Then, it started sneezing. Over and over, sneeze after sneeze. After a few minutes of this, it ran off into the rain whining in between sneezes.

The world began to blur and fade again as the adrenaline wore off. A cloaked figure approached the cave. Given your history with cloaked figures, you were skeptical about this one’s intentions.

Not that you could do anything, what with the losing consciousness and all that.

Author's Note

Man, these two just can't catch a break, can they? :rainbowderp:

Chapter 10

Starlight filled your vision. Not from the bear’s hide, but that dream again. Was it a dream? Eh, didn’t matter.

You hoped Discord wasn’t going to show up again. His brand of bullshit wasn’t something you were in the mood for right now.

You weren’t sure if you were going to wake up again. If you were being honest with yourself, you weren’t sure if you wanted to. Why would you? What did you have left? A world that has gone out of its way to show you it hated your guts. The residents, the animals, even the weather itself have taken shots at you. In a way, you were impressed you had made it this long.

Out of everything, a sad, sorry, and sweet unicorn named Amber Gaze was the ONLY thing that had gone right. Even if she had trouble grasping the fact that you weren’t what she thought you were.

And now…Was she even still alive…? Without her, was there any point in trying to go on…?

You saw a light. Your life was nothing if not cliché, it seemed. Oh well, whatever. Not like it mattered…

But what if Amber’s alright? A voice echoed around you.

Was that Discord? No, it was softer. Kinder. Concerned.

You tried to find the voices’ source, but you saw nothing. The question it posed hung in the air like a fog, causing you to pause.

If Amber was okay or at least had a chance of recovering, didn’t you owe it to her to be there? She got hurt trying to help you, and if you just abandoned her like this that’d make you kind of a douchebag.

With that thought, you felt your felt yourself being jerked away from the light, hurdling through the starry expanse into seeming nothingness…

You woke with a start in a…strange place.

You found yourself laying on a bed. Sure, it was made of straw and it poked you in several places, but it was the most comfortable thing you’ve laid on since getting here. Hell, it was probably better than that old mattress you’d had back home.

Speaking of ‘home,’ you wondered who’s you were in right now.

Various masks covered the wooden walls, giving the place a slightly creepy feel. You shifted slightly and winced against the waves of pain that shot through your body in protest.

Oh, right…Broken bones, probably internal bleeding. Movement is not my friend right now…you scolded yourself.

A raspy breath drew your attention to the other side of the room. There was another bed in a nook similar to yours, with a form covered in bandages.

Amber.

To hell with the fucking bones.

You forced yourself to move against the pain and managed to move out of the bed. Sadly, you didn’t manage to get your feet under you, and you hit the floor hard. It felt like your entire body was on fire and almost passed out again. Somehow, you successfully fought to stay conscious.

“Okay, not the best start…” you wheezed “Just to get over…”

You stopped as you realized the task you had before you. To get to Amber, you had to cross the width of the hut. Normally that wouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, despite your best efforts, you couldn’t seem to get your legs to work with you.

Wouldn’t it just be my luck to get paralyzed. I wonder if Horseyland has wheelchairs.

Minutes passed like hours as you crawled across the floor. Several times the pain became too intense and forced you to stop and rest. You surprised yourself with the progress you had made. Either you had more stamina than you had thought, or you were just insanely stubborn. Or stupid. Or both.

Whatever the reason, you had to get to Amber. You had to know if she was alright.

You had made it about a fourth of the way across the room when you heard the sound of hooves hitting the dirt outside.

You froze and briefly considered trying to make it back to the bed. Although, not like you could. It had taken a considerable amount of time and effort to make it this far, and there was no way you could make it back anytime soon.

The wooden door swung open, revealing the hooded figure that had saved you from the Ursa Minor. It seemed to stare at you, and as best as you could tell it was surprised at the scene. Slowly it raised a hoof and lowered its hood.

It was a zebra. With a mohawk, and with a LOT of gold rings on its neck and forelegs. It looked like a stereotype that would get you kicked off Twitter in an instant.

“Awake already, I am surprised. I thought it would be days before you finally rised.” It intoned in a sing-song rhyme that could not have been an accident. It dropped a saddlebag it was carrying and move towards you. Unsure of its intentions you tried to move away, but you were stopped by an intense wave of pain.

“Your will is admirable, that much is true, but I don’t think this is a smart thing to do.” It remarked as picked you up as gently as it could. The strength displayed by a relatively small creature surprised you. Despite your apprehension, you didn’t have the strength to fight against being moved back to the bed. You were helped to lay down and began mashing some plants in a bowl with a hoof.

“Who ARE you?” you forced between labored breaths.

“My name is Zecora, of fair Everfree.” She replied as she raised the bowl to your lips. “Drink this, you’ll feel better, you’ll see!”

Drinking a seemingly random assortment of plants made by a weird rhyming (seriously what was with that?) zebra wasn’t something you were eager to trust. On the other hand, you’d been unconscious in her home for God knows how long. She if she was going to off you, she could have done it much earlier. You took a tentative sip and almost gagged. It was probably the most bitter thing you’d ever had the misfortune of having in your mouth.

Zecora frowned and lick a bit of leftover paste from her hoof.

“Strange, to me it seems fine. Though I guess all are different, so drink up, try not to whine.” She remarked and forced the bowl back into your mouth. You wanted nothing more than to not drink the foul brew, but it was that or drown in the stuff. And you were NOT going down like that after everything you’d survived thus far. It was an ordeal, but you made it through. Somehow.

“See now, that wasn’t so bad. Now just let the brew do its work, and soon you’ll be glad.” The zebra chirped.

As you waited for…something, you let your eyes wander. Seriously, what was with all the masks here? Creepy-ass witch-doctor rhyming zebra interior decoration. You hoped it wouldn’t spook Amber to bad when she-

“AMBER!” you shrieked as you bolted upright. “Is she okay?”

Zecora locked eyes with you, her gaze serious, and filled with concern.

“I can do much, but I have limits, I’m afraid.” She looked over to Amber’s still form and sighed. “Her wounds are too great. She needs medical aid.”

“Oh great. And I guess there’s no doctor anywhere near here, right? Just my luck.”

The zebra cocked her head.

“…No? There’s one nearby, with excellent facilities. I’m sure they can help your friend with all their abilities.”

“Oh…Wait then why’s she still here? Why haven’t you taken her there?”

She poked your head with her hoof, which threatened to knock you over.

“That is why. I cannot leave you alone. Leaving one so weak by themselves I cannot condone. When I found you, I cared not how you look. But ponies’ nerves are easily shook. So, until you are well, here we shall stay. Do not argue, I’ll not change my way.”

She paused to look you over.

“Although with how quickly your pain’s been relieved, that time may be sooner than I had conceived.”

After a moment you realized what she’d meant. You were sitting upright in the bed when the simple act of moving had been nearly overwhelming minutes before. There was still pain, but far less than before. Despite that and a general sense of weariness, you felt leagues better than you had when you’d woken up.

“What…was that…?”

“The forest has herbs that help heal, but that doesn’t mean that you’re through your ordeal. The herbs ease pain, but your bones have not set. Don’t push too far, you will lose that bet.”

“Huh…” you say as you eased back into the bed. You studied your impromptu doctor for a long moment. “You…really don’t care about how I look? Like, you’re not afraid of me?”

Zecora shook her head.

“I am not one to judge by appearance or creed, at least not without cause. Although I admit you did give me pause.”

“I don’t blame you.” You hacked a laugh “Believe it or not, I’m not even from this world. Some asshat ripped me across space and time, and he even got it wrong. He wanted a demon to kick off some grand takeover scheme, but he got me…a human. A powerless, worthless human…”

The zebra studied you for a moment.

“I know nothing of humans, I’ve not seen one before.” She laughed “But it is a stretch to believe you’re such a creature of yore.”

You looked over your bandaged friend.

“Yeah…I’m not sure why she stays with me. I’ve brought her nothing but trouble. And now…I almost got her killed. Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d never got here…”

Zecora didn’t reply. She stared into space, deep in thought. After a while, she opened her eyes.

“When I found her, her back was scarred badly. And I think I recognize the shapes, sadly.”

She placed a hoof on your shoulder.

“You saved her from a cruel master’s lash. That means a lot to her, don’t be so rash.”

“Yeah...Things were kinda shitty for her when I got here…And if she’d wanted to leave, she could’ve at any time.”

As she trotted toward the door, Zecora smiled.

“Don’t make more problems, it will make you feel even worse.” After a pause, she smirked, “Although, perhaps not as bad as an Ursa Major would, of course.”

“Ursa…Major…?”

“Oh yes, Minor’s are the young of its kind. Had you met a Major, its mother, there wouldn’t be much to find.”

“Huh…”

“Wait, that thing was a baby!?”

For once, you knew how long it had been since you got somewhere. A perk of being above ground and having contact with someone with an actual schedule. You first woke up in Zecora’s hut three days ago. Your pain had decreased by wide margins, whatever that paste Zecora fed you was a thing miracle. The stuff that would make you rich before it regulated to hell and back, stolen through ‘fair’ means or foul, then sold by a corporation at quadruple the price. Minimum.

Three agonizing days of waiting. Not because of anything physical, WonderPaste (was that a good name?) had that covered. No, you were worried about Amber. She still hadn’t woken up. Every so often she twitched or moaned in her sleep, and every time a little spark of hope appeared, only to be swiftly snuffed out.

You’d lost count of the times you’d argued with Zecora that you were well enough to fend for yourself for a few hours and to get Amber the help she needed. But she was adamant that the forest was too dangerous, and you were still too easy a target.

The striped bitch.

No, that was too harsh. She’d taken you in, fed you, and tended to your broken bones. And it was nice to talk to someone seeing as how you had literally nothing else to do. The constant rhyming was still slightly annoying, but whatever. The zebra was doing her best to care for the both of you in a pretty shitty situation, so the least you could do was cut her some slack. You knew she wasn’t a bitch, you were just getting frustrated. For all you knew Amber was slipping away, and all you could do here was sit and watch.

Yeah, fuck that.

You had had an idea. A very, extremely, incredibly stupid idea, but an idea nonetheless. At some point in between arguments, you’d managed to glean the general direction of the nearby town Zecora had mentioned. Whenever you had time (which was a lot) you practiced walking around. If Zecora was watching you, you took it easy. If she was out, you maybe, possibly, hypothetically pushed yourself possibly a tiny bit more than you should.

If Zecora wasn’t going to take Amber to town, you would.

You knew this was idiotic. Zecora’s plan made sense: Wait until you could not die without her, then she takes Amber to a hospital. It made sense, and Zecora was certain that Amber wasn’t in immediate danger and was stable but needed medical professionals to made her better.

Despite the sense it made, it just…wasn’t good enough. Amber had suffered too much already in her life; she didn’t deserve to lie there broken and unconscious. Because of you. You had to do something. Anything.

It was a little after sunset. Zecora had just left to gather some new herb or whatever. Apparently, whatever she was going for only bloomed at night. She never left for long, but it was enough. Additionally, she’d neglected to wedge the door shut, in place of having an actual lock. This was your chance.

You stood over Amber, preparing for the task ahead. Your hand drifted behind her ear and began tenderly scratching. Amber sighed, which brought a smile to your face. You hoped she could feel it, she needed the comfort.

Your face hardened. It was time. No more waiting.

Gently you slid your arms under her, careful to not move her too much. There was no way to tell exactly what was broken, so you had to do your best to not make anything worse. Thankfully, you didn’t think you felt anything shift when you picked her up. Good start. You shuffled over to the door, bumped it open, and headed off into the trees.

It was slow going. Half because you didn’t want to jostle Amber too much, and half because you didn’t want to push yourself too far. The herb paste had done well enough to dull your pain at rest, but it was steadily getting worse as you trudged along. Amber may have been a small horse, but she was still a horse. And horses, apparently, were mostly muscle, even the slightly malnourished unicorns. You’d never be stupid enough to say it to her face, but she was heavy. And as you went on, she only seemed to get heavier.

You took a chance and picked up the pace. No telling how much longer you’d last.

That last dose of WonderPaste was wearing off. The pain was coming back.

As the shadows grew, so did the sounds of the forest. It was…unsettling, to say the least. You were a stranger in this world, and the more dangerous wildlife had not been shy to introduce themselves beforehand. The prospect of meeting more wasn’t something that filled you with joy.

You pressed on.

The pain was getting worse.

Why were you doing this? Putting your life on the line for a talking horse that would have made this trek with someone in better condition only a few days later, likely during the day? As much as you tried, you couldn’t think of an answer. But whenever you thought about the chance of losing her…well, the shattered ribs weren’t the only burning feeling in your chest. What the feeling meant was something to figure out later.

When did your vision begin to blur? Not a good sign. Nor was the fact your limbs trembled with every step, or that the pain had been replaced with an odd numb feeling. You felt like you were going to pass out, or maybe should have long ago.

The chatters on chirps of the forest grew quiet, leaving a cacophonous roar of complete silence. Was something following you? You didn’t dare check. It felt like if you stopped, you would get going again. You could see an open field ahead as you neared the edge of the forest.

A lumbering figure appeared in front of you. It was vaguely canine, only the size of a car, and made of a haphazard mess of leaves and wood.

God dammit.You thought.

The beast lunged, its wooden-stake teeth bared and ready to tear. Somehow you managed to duck and roll under it, clutching Amber to your chest and hoping you didn’t break her or yourself in the process. You glance over your shoulder as the wood wolf crashed to the ground behind you, smashing into a million pieces. Before you could even feel relief, the pieces floated into the air and reformed into the monster once more.

It raised its head and let loose a bone-chilling howl. Glowing eyes appeared in the distance behind the beast. It had friends.

God fucking DAMMIT.

Adrenaline and desperation drove you forward out of the tree line. You didn’t know how that would help, but your thoughts were consumed by a singular thought: Save Amber.

Your heart was pounding in your ears as you stumble-ran across the field. The wolves pursued at a seemly leisurely pace, likely able to outrun you even if you could sprint.

A massive force hit you from behind as a wolf batted you with a paw. You hit the ground, and you lost your grip on Amber. She flopped limply on the ground.

Another paw hit your gut, knocking what little wind was left from your lungs. Another struck your side. Then another. And another.

They were playing with you.

This can’t be the end. You thought desperately, Dying as some Maple Mutt’s chew toy? This can’t be-

A flash of purple light blazed across the sky and struck the wolf above you, rendering one leg a charred stump. Another blast carved a hole in another beast’s side. The pack scattered, whimpering and whining as they retreating to the safety of the forest.

Blurry figures approached you. It sounded like they had hooves, so maybe they were helpful. You heard hushed whispers and snarling voices but couldn’t make out what they were saying. It didn’t matter. Only one thing mattered as the darkness came to claim you once more.

“Save her.” You wheezed. “Please.”

Author's Note

((Some of you wanted a longer chapter. Here ya go!))

Chapter 11

You were surprised when woke up. Those wolf things no doubt did a number on you, and that with the previous damage from the Ursa Minor and what you did to yourself getting here could have easily done you in. Yet here you were, alive.

Not that being alive felt so great at the moment. To say it hurt would be…inaccurate. It hurt to move, hurt to breathe. Not as much as you thought it should, just kind of a constant, dull ache. Maybe your nerves were completely shot? But regardless, you were alive. So there was that.

Taking a look around, you were in what looked to be a tree. Now that you thought about it, Zecora’s place was also a tree. But this had wall-to-wall books, with a staircase leading upwards carved into the far side. There were branches and leaves outside the windows and the faint twitter of birds in what you believed to be the morning sun. You shifted slightly and felt a familiar tingle run from your foot to your gut.

You were in another god-damned circle.

Had the cult somehow escaped and found you? If they had you, then they had Amber, and OHGODWHEREWAS-

Approaching voices snapped you to the present. They were close. With little in the way of options, you played dead. Given how you felt, it was easy. You left one eye cracked open to see what was happening as the door opened.

Six ponies entered the room, and your heart sank. The cultists, you could handle. You had left with reasonably good standing with them, and could probably bullshit some reason to buy time. But Pony Team Six? Likely not. And, true to your current streak of luck, they were exactly who walked in.

They didn’t look happy. Bad sign.

Although, they seemed to be having an…argument? Good sign? Maybe?

“I just don’t get why we can’t just get rid of it and be done already!” Pride Pony snarled.

Yeehaw nodded.

“As much as Ah like savin’ the world ‘gain, I got the harvest ta think about.”

“And my orders have simply been piling up.” Prissy whined.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY BIRTHDAY PARTIES I HAVE TO MAKE UP FOR ‘CAUSE OF THIS!?” Bouncy screamed, shaking Purple like a ragdoll.

“Um…one?” Wimpy answered. “And I don’t need a party if it’s too much trouble…”

“It’s the principle!” Bouncy replied.

“I know girls, but we need to know why it resisted the Elements before we try again. I’m worried it did something to them, or they could be broken, or maybe it’s too powerful for them or-“ this went on for a few minutes, with Purple becoming more frantic and coming with increasingly ridiculous scenarios.

A new face appeared. You hadn’t seen it immediately because it was much smaller than the ponies (which was saying something) and was hidden behind Purple. It looked like a purple, bipedal lizard of some kind. It rested a claw on Purple’s leg.

“Chill. It’s not doing anything right now.”

“Yeah, those Timberwolves really did a number on it.” Yeehaw added.

“Is it even still alive?” Pride Pony wondered.

All eyes turned to you. You tried your best to melt into the floor. Sadly, it didn’t work.

Lizzie cautiously walked up next to your circle.

“Careful, don’t break the circle.” Purple warned “It’s the only thing keeping in contained.

Yeah you wish. You thought. That’d be the broken bones.

The lizard nodded and reached over the circle and poked your arm. It felt like a light jab from a pencil, and you managed to not react. It poked again with the same result. If you could just manage to keep up the façade, maybe-

-POW-

The stupid salamander punched you in the side! Exactly where you should be punched the least. Agony bloomed across your chest like a wildfire, and you couldn’t contain yourself any longer.

“GAH! FUCK!” you screamed, sending Lizzie scrambling across the room in a panic as you writhed in pain on the floor.

The pain subsided after a moment and you blinked through the tears that had formed. Pony Team Six had huddled up together, each taking your reaction differently. Purple was cautious, energy pulsing on her horn. Pride was ready to brawl her wings outstretched. Yeehaw had got some rope from…somewhere and was twirling it around her head. Prissy’s horn was also glowing, but she looked less confident about all this. Bouncy was, well bouncing, with a grin that genuinely made you uncomfortable. Lizzie was staring you down bravely from behind Purple’s legs. Wimpy looked ready to faint.

“Don’t…don’t you move!” Purple finally choked out, sounding far less confident than she’d likely wanted to. ‘N-not that you can, that circle is ten times stronger than the one you were summoned with. At a fraction of the size!” She sounded a little prideful of that.

“Trust me, moving’s the last thing I want to do right now.” You moaned.

“Oh, well…good.” The group relaxed. Slightly.

There was a long pause. It was…awkward. No one seemed to know what to do.

You decided to break the ice with the most important question on your mind.

“Where is Amber?”

Purple’s face darkened.

“Recovering. And out of your reach.”

“Yeah!” Pride Pony added“And we’re gonna undo whatever weird mind-stuff you did to her!”

“Is…Is she going to be alright?”

That seemed to surprise her. She looked to her companions, who shrugged.

“Um…yes…?”

There was another pause. Suddenly, you started laughing. And crying. Sure, it sent wave after wave of pain throughout your body, but it was nothing compared to the wave of relief that flooded over you. It overwhelmed your senses, driving you to act like some deranged lunatic on the floor.

But it didn’t matter.

Amber was going to be okay.

Your outburst had, unsurprisingly, confused the hell out of the ponies and lizard thing. They formed a small huddle, whispering to themselves and occasionally casting suspicious glances in your direction. As you managed to reel yourself in, Purple approached you.

“Why do you care what happens to her?” she asked you bluntly.

“Because she’s my friend. The only one I’ve got here.” You immediately replied. “She got hurt because of me.”

That seemed to surprise them, as they looked at each other in shock. More whispering.

“You…w-want to make…friends…?” Wimpy squeaked from the back.

“I mean, I’m not against the idea.”

“The why tha hay didn’t ya jus’ say so in the beginning!?” Yeehaw growled.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Well considering our relationship started off so gloriously with you trying to flatten me with weaponized rainbows, I didn’t think making friends was very high on your priority list.”

Suddenly, Pride Pony was in your face.

“Because you’re demon! Why would you want to be friends!?” she shrieked.

If you could raise your arms, you would have facepalmed.

“Oh fuck, I almost forgot about…I’m not a demon.” You groaned.

Prissy laughed nervously.

“Oh of course you are, I mean…just look at you!”

You glared at her.

“Okay, rude. What’s that supposed to mean?”

She coughed and looked away instead of replying.

“What she means is those crazy ponies were tryin’ ta summon a demon ta overthrow tha Princesses! And well…here you are!” Yeehaw piped up. “Ah ain’t seen anythin’ like ya ‘fore, an’ ya popped right outta a magic circle!”

“Like popcorn!” Bouncy interjected “But eeeevilllll…”

“And just because they were trying for something, that means they got it?” you retorted.

None of them seemed to know how to respond to that. So, you continued.

“And even if I am a demon, which I’m not, why do you assume I have some malicious plot? Regardless of what I am, I’ve been ripped across time and space to a completely alien world with magical talking horses, bipedal cave dogs, giant sparkly bears, and wolves made out of scrap wood. The only reason I have to stay here is to make sure Amber’s okay. That’s it.”

“Well…the original circle did have a few inaccuracies…not to mention the inefficient mana use…it could have resulted in a faulty summon, and pulled a random creature from a random plane of existence…” Purple half-murmured as she rubbed her chin.

“And aren’t demons supposed to be, like, suuuuper-duper-extra-special-tough?” Bouncy chimed in as appeared next to you in a lab coat. She pulled a stethoscope from a pocket and placed it on your forehead. “But all these bones are crumpled up like used cupcake wrappers!”

The others murmured to themselves, becoming increasingly unsure of the situation.

“Are you all seriously buying this?” Pride Pony complained, “It’s obviously lying to try and trick us! As soon as we let our guard down, then WHAM! ” she stomped a hoof to punctuate her point.

There was a long silence as the group weighed their options.

“I believe him.” Wimpy finally said.

“I- what-…WHY!?” P.P. demanded.

“It doesn’t make sense. Why would he risk coming to us? He can barely move because he’s so injured. How could he possibly gain anything from coming straight to us when he’s so vulnerable?” the yellow pony responded calmly as she stepped between you and the raging Pegasus.

“For Amber.” You answered. “Besides, I didn’t even know you all were here. I just knew there was a town with a hospital here. Amber needed professional help, and that’s it. How can I plan to trick you if I didn’t even know you were here?”

Pride Pony opened her mouth to retort but couldn’t seem to come up with anything. Instead, she crossed her forelegs and began brooding. Which, on a small blue horse, looked adorable.

Purple cleared her throat.

“There’s just one thing I don’t understand.” She inquired “When we found you, you and ‘Amber’ were already bandaged. By somepony who knew what they were doing, by the looks of it.”

She looked you up and down.

“Not you, obviously.”

“Rude. But accurate. Your point?”

“I just want to know who helped you before you got here.”

You thought for a moment. Yeah, it would be simple enough to tell them about Zecora, but would she get in trouble?

“Why does it matter? Are you going to punish them or something for aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive?”

Purple looked horrified for a moment.

“N-No! I just want to get an idea of what happened, is all.”

She seemed sincere enough. You decided to give her what she wanted and told her about the Ursa Minor, Zecora, and the events leading you here. The group listened with…mixed expressions. Pride Pony was still fuming in the corner, and Prissy and Yeehaw still looked to be doubtful. Purple listed with reserved attention, while Bouncy, Wimpy, and Lizzie seemed to be enraptured.

“And the next thing I knew, I woke up here on the cold, hard, floor.” You finished “Seriously would it have killed you to put a pillow or something here?”

“Well, we didn’t think about it…” Wimpy mumbled. “We can find you one…”

“Not that you deserve it!” Pride Pony yelled from across the room, earning a surprisingly intense death glare from Wimpy. The rainbow horse immediately shrunk away and mumbled something that could have been an apology of some kind. Maybe you should rethink calling the dainty Pegasus ‘Wimpy.’

“Hey, uh, can I ask something?” Lizzie asked.

“Shoot.”

“Why’d you leave Zecora’s? Seemed like you were safe there.”

“I was worried about Amber. Zecora said she was stable, but I couldn’t risk something happening to make her worse. And since I couldn’t be left for too long, she wasn’t willing to make the trip.”

“But didn’t you say she left frequently?” Prissy chimed in. “Including when you escaped.”

“Not for long. About a half-hour at most. Long enough to slip out, but not long enough for a predator to try something.”

“But then why would you take the risk of taking her yourself?” Wimpy questioned “Two wounded creatures would draw in all kinds of predators. Why not wait until you were strong enough to not hurt yourself walking?”

You sighed and mentally rubbed the bridge of your nose.

“Look, I was worried, desperate, and on some kind of homemade morphine. Critical thought wasn’t exactly happening at that point.”

“…Fair enough.” Purple shrugged.

“I just hope Zecora isn’t too worried about us.” You said, “Maybe someone should go and-“

The door flew open with a SLAM! and revealed an incredibly pissed-off zebra, her crystal-blue eyes resembling pinpricks of thinly veiled rage.

She addressed the room with a disturbing calm.

“If that idiot lives, he earned quite the bill. That’s what he gets for leaving my goodwill.”

Chapter 12

Placating Zecora had taken a lot less than you’d thought. You had offered a heartfelt apology, which had cooled her temper. She had also brought Amber’s bag, which still had a few gemstones that had been left over. The zebra agreed that those and the promise of a swift smack to the head were sufficient. She bid you farewell, gave the confused spectators detailed instructions on your care (and maybe a veiled threat or two, it was hard to tell through the rhyming), and left to check on Amber.

You weren’t sure if that was wise of her, but the group seemed to respect her opinion. That, with the way they were acting before, it looked like you were in the clear. For now, at least.

“So, we blasting this thing or not?” Pride bluntly broke the silence.

“No, we are NOT!” Wimpy snapped back.

“Oh come on! It’s evil!” Pride shouted.

“He saved that poor ponies life!” Wimpy retaliated.

“Well, it’s the reason she got hurt in the first place!” Pride countered.

“That’s not fair, Rai-MPHF!” Wimpy tried to continue but was cut off by Purple’s hoof entering her mouth.

“We talked about this, no names.” She warned.

“Why not?” Bouncy asked.

“There’s no telling what could happen if a demon learns your name. We can’t take that risk.” Purple explained.

“So you’re saying it is a demon! HA!” Pride Pony gloated.

Purple glared at her.

“I’m saying we don’t know what it is. It may be a demon, it might not. I’m just saying we should be careful, just in case.”

If Pride Pony had any more arguments to make, she didn’t voice them. She just sat on her haunches with her forelegs crossed.

The violet unicorn turned to you.

“You said you weren’t a demon. If that’s true, then what are you?”

“I’m a human.” You said matter-of-factly.

Silence.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d know. No one else has, so I’m not surprised.”

“Now it’s just making things up.” Pride Pony sneered.

“It does sound kinda like pig plops.” Yeehaw remarked.

“Tw-…dearie, have you ever heard of a …” Prissy looked at you for help.

“Human.” You answered.

Purple tapped her chin.

“I…I don’t think so…”

Her magic brought over a quill and piece of parchment and began scribbling something down.

“But I think I know somepony who might…”

She handed (hoofed?) it over to Lizzy, who belched out a gout of green flame, which incinerated the parchment instantly. The smoke flew out the nearest window and quickly vanished from sight.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence.

You were about to say something to break the tension, but you didn’t get the chance.

Suddenly, the room exploded in twin cataclysmic bursts. Once of golden light and fire, the other pure darkness and starlight. The air became ozone and sulfur, and it was hard to breathe. You tried very hard not to soil yourself.

As your retinas burned in the confusing combo of blinding light and suffocating darkness, you made out the figures of two ponies. They were much larger than any other pony you’ve seen and had both wings and a horn each.

“FOUL DEMON!” came twin roars that seemed to shake the very world around you. The figures looked pissed.

Your best guess? You’ve just met royalty.

And they definitely lived up to their reputation.

“YOU SHALL NOT HARM OUR SUBJECTS!” they proclaimed “WE SHALL-“

They stopped mid-sentence. Their respective torture to the eye blinked out, revealing slightly less spectacular yet still impressive-looking princesses.

“Sister…” the larger white princess said to the other “Is that…?”

“I believe so. I did not get too good of a look before I was…interrupted…” The smaller blue one replied with a scowl.

Big White turned to Purple.

“Twilight?”

“Y-yes, Princess.”

“That is a human.”

……

“FINALLY!”

Life was looking up for once. A week after your name was cleared, and nothing had tried to kill you!

Granted you were still technically a prisoner, but it didn’t seem to matter much. You got three meals a day, even if it was mostly fruits and veggies. They eat eggs, apparently, which raised questions you didn’t feel comfortable raising. You had a nice bed that was still inside a circle, for all the good that did. It made them feel comfortable, so you let them be. It was up in a loft, with a floral privacy curtain. Not your style, but it was nice.

The reason they gave for you not being trusted to walk freely had been something to the effect of, to quote the Princess: “Just because you’re not a demon, doesn’t mean you can’t start shit.” (Not very ‘Princess-y’, but you didn’t feel it wise to point that out.) Given that you were still an interdimensional interloper, that seemed fair. Especially since she actually knew what humans were and may know of your species’…tendencies. You couldn’t fault her for being careful.

After assuring them you could do fuck all with anyone’s name, you had some formal introductions. You had the most contact with Purple and Lizzie, or ‘Twilight’ and ‘Spike’, as they were called. Twilight was cautious at first, but now wouldn’t shut up with questions about you, your species, and your homeworld which you did your best to answer. Spike was a pretty chill dude, for a literal dragon. Wimpy, or Fluttershy, was the nicest thing you had ever met once she came out of her shell. Bouncy (Pinkie Pie) had been bummed she couldn’t throw a ‘Welcome to Our New Not-A-Demon Friend!’ party, but she coped by bringing confetti-covered cupcakes near daily. The confetti tasted like bits of lemon, oddly.

Not all of them were so willing to trust you. Prissy and Yeehaw were cordial enough in person, but you noticed the looks they gave you when they thought you weren’t looking. They weren’t malicious, they were just unsure about you for now. You did your best to remember their names (Rare Tie and Applejock?) when addressing them, but you called them by their nicknames in your head, and likely would for the time being.

You refused to call Pride Pony by her name. It annoyed her, so obviously you kept doing it. She was an ass, so you were one right back. At least, it started that way. As time went on, you noticed there was less hostility between the two of you. It had become more of a…rivalry. She insulted you to your face, you did the same, rinse and repeat. It was a kind of game at this point. Calling her ‘Rainbow Dash’ now would be just as weird as her treating you with respect.

Princesses Celestia and Luna (which were far better names than Big White and Edgy Tween OC) had left to…’talk’ with Father, who had not seen daylight since you’d last seen him, which delighted you do no end. And likely wouldn’t for a long time. Bastard deserved worse. Since he had made the original circle that had brought you here, he was the best chance of getting you home.

Since the residents of ‘Ponyville’ (Seriously, who came up with the names here?) were more prone to panic-driven riots than other areas, you had been kept strictly secret and sequestered in the treehouse. The only new face you had met was one Nurse Redheart, who gave you a once-over a few days ago. She diagnosed our multiple broken ribs and confirmed you hadn’t anything life-threatening as far as she could tell. Considering she had no more idea of your biology than you did theirs, it was better than nothing.

Apparently, she had some kind of beef with Zecora over her use of herbal remedies. Guess the whole ‘Big Pharma vs Homemade Holistics’ debate was a thing here too. Zecora still supplied you with WonderPaste, so you guessed they came to an agreement.

Then there was…

Amber.

You’d been told she woke up about the fourth day and was doing well. When you heard, you’d wanted to run straight there. While you could currently stand on your own more and more, and you hoped to make it to the hospital soon. Apparently, however, the hospital wasn’t allowing visitors. You suspected that wasn’t entirely true. They let in Zecora regularly when she made her regular trips between the two of you exchanging letters after all. You also noticed that teleportation was a thing here, and yet no one had offered to take you to see Amber. You were…a bit pissed but understood that they couldn’t fully trust you yet. As long as you saw Amber soon, you were good.

Judging by her letters, Amber agreed. You’d thought she’d be mad at you, but she wasn’t. If anything, she was more concerned about you. That gave you…mixed feelings. Her not hating you was good, but you would have understood if she did. You had even expected it. Instead, it seemed like she was anxious to see you again. You were becoming worried she was forming some kind of…unhealthy attachment to you. Given her past, it wasn’t too farfetched.

She had started talking about the future. Places to go, things to see, and things to do. Amber was a caged bird who had been set free, and she wanted to take advantage of it. But the thing she wanted most was to be with you. Since you weren’t in major trouble anymore…she was looking to the future. But did you have a future here?

The way things were going, you began to think you could actually build a life here. The one you had before wasn’t all that great, so it wasn’t like you were leaving anything behind. Here you already had more friends than you ever had and connections with goddamn royalty. You could just…not go back. Who knows, maybe you’d finally be able to figure out those confusing feelings you had surrounding Amber, maybe help her heal?

There was a knock on the library’s door. Three taps, a pause, then a final tap. Since the locals were some combination of friendly, curious, and/or ignorant, it had been decided that a special knock would be used to enter by those who already knew about you. Otherwise, you were to draw the curtain and pretend you didn’t exist until they went away. With the special knock, you were free to call them in, provided Twilight and/or Spike weren’t around.

“Come in!” you called.

The door creaked open, and Princess Celestia entered, followed closely by Twilight. Judging by the looks on their faces, they didn’t have good news.

“What’s up? Did Father not give you anything?” you asked.

Celestia shook her head.

“Not yet. He’s adamant that he made no mistake, and refuses to aid in sending you back. It seems he still believes he can still win, despite being in the darkest corner of the dungeon.” She sighed. “My sister stayed behind to… ‘convince’ him to cooperate.”

“Damn, that sucks. But…you didn’t need to come all this way to tell me that.”

“We didn’t.” Twilight replied. “We did manage to find some of his notes in the cult’s base, about the spell Father used.”

“Great, so that means you can send me back. Right?”

Twilight’s frown deepened.

“Maybe with enough study, but there’s a problem.”

“What?”

“The spell he used was incomplete. Sloppy, really.” Celestia explained. “Somehow he got his hooves on the partial notes of my mentor from centuries ago. But the complete spell is something even I couldn’t hope to replicate, let alone a sub-par mage with a fraction of the notes needed for it to work.”

“But…It worked, didn’t it? I mean, I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yes, but…not how you’re supposed to be.” Twilight chimed in. “I’m not an expert on interdimensional travel (yet), but so far I can tell that the way you were summoned causes…problems.”

“How so?”

“Multiversal travel has certain…rules.” Celestia began “Sometimes, a being can travel from one world to another with no issues. Other times, certain… ‘conditions’ must be met. The way you were summoned bypasses those conditions, and so our world reacts.”

“Kind of like the body reacting to a virus.” Twilight added.

Celestia nodded.

“In this case, you are the virus. Whether you are harmful or not doesn’t matter, the ‘body’ sees you as an intruder so it tries to…get rid of you.”

You let that sink in for a moment.

“So…everything that’s happened so far…that was…?”

“Yes. All the troubles you’ve encountered were not mere chance.” Celestia gently placed a hoof on your shoulder. “And we believe there is worse coming.”

“What could possibly happen that hasn’t already?” you lamented.

“Well…we don’t know, exactly.” Twilight said as she produced several charts, graphs, and equations you couldn’t make sense of. “But since you’ve been here, you’ve been subject to an incredible amount of poor luck, even by Ponyville standards. And half the buildings here get leveled every other week! Diamond Dogs, freak storms, an Ursa Minor, then Timberwolves? And all of it happening in such a short timeframe? It keeps getting worse!”

“Trust me, I noticed.” You grumbled.

“What’s concerning is that nothing has happened recently. The driving force trying to eliminate you isn’t simply going to stop.” Celestia said.

“…You think something big is coming.” You finished. “The longer I stay, and the longer nothing happens, the worse the next thing will be.”

Celestia nodded.

“For your sake, and ours, we need to send you back as soon as possible. Do you understand?”

You did, at least on a certain level. But you didn’t want to. You just felt…empty. This would…destroy Amber. She’d formed a reliance on you. The only thing she had left, the only one that had given a damn about her, and you couldn’t stay.

It wasn’t fair.

You found yourself standing up from the bed. After throwing off the curtains, you started down the stairs. Past the circle, a stunned and stuttering Twilight and a slightly amused Celestia. There wasn’t any destination, but you just…couldn’t stay there. Maybe you wanted to try and go see Amber, even if you knew you wouldn’t make it that far. But you just had to move.

You had just reached the bottom of the flight when you felt a gentle hoof on your shoulder. Celestia seemed to look into your eyes with her large violet eyes. They looked like they had seen a lot, and they were filled with compassion and understanding. She seemed to know what you were feeling.

“Do you have…any questions?”

“…Can I see Amber first…?”

Chapter 13

You were…not looking forward to this. This may not have been the most dangerous thing you’ve done, especially since getting here, but you were still on edge. As you trudged through the musty, cobblestone tunnel, you reflected on recent events.

Knowledge of the impending demise of you and possibly many others by some vague universal concept had driven a flurry of activity over the past few days. You were finally able to move around on your own. Twilight was still a bit sore at Celestia for not telling her that her well-crafted circle meant jack-shit, but she had other problems. Poor thing hadn’t slept for days while trying to crack that old summoning spell.

On one of your longer treks, you had been formally introduced to Ponyville. It was a nice enough little town. The residents were, understandably, nervous around you at first. However, they seemed to warm up to you after Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight vouched for you. Apparently winning over them meant a lot to them, so they welcomed you. As you got stronger, and your time out of the library lengthened, they got friendlier. You weren’t sure, but you thought a few of the mares (and a stallion or two) were flirting with you. It was flattering, but also extremely uncomfortable. For being herbivores, they sure liked looking at you like a piece of meat.

You’d had a brief meeting with Amber when she was able to. It was nice to see her, but…It was hard to see her in that state. She was weak, bandaged, bedridden, but in good spirits. Maybe because she was drugged to hell and back. But she was aware enough to recognize you, even though she tired quickly. At one point she got a bit flirty too, but it may have just been because of all meds she was on. Either way, it seemed…different than the others. Maybe because you were already familiar with Amber? Whatever the reason, before you left she placed her hoof in your hand. It gave you chills. In a good way.

Today you had the pleasure of visiting the capital city of Canterlot. It wasn’t a vacation, however. The dungeons weren’t exactly a big tourist attraction.

“Are you sure you want to do this? If you feel you’re not up to this…” Celestia asked for at least the tenth time since arriving in Canterlot.

“You said it yourself, we’re against the clock. How I feel isn’t the biggest problem here.” You replied as you trudged behind her down the torch-lit hall. Being right was a nice cover for feeling like shit.

Celestia nodded, though it was clear she was still concerned.

A loud indiscernible scream echoed through the halls, accompanied by a few trails of dust falling from the ceiling. After a moment, you could make out another figure in the dim light. Luna was pacing in front of a cell door, grumbling under her breath. She looked in your direction as you approached.

“Feel better, Sister?” Celestia asked with a slight smirk.

“Hardly. He still will not cooperate. I am unsure if he is brave or just plain stubborn.” She huffed.

“Well from how much I know about him, he’s arrogant. As long as he has a shred of hope, he’ll refuse to give in.” you reply.

Luna flashed a wicked grin.

“Then let us dash that hope.”

Celestia rolled her eyes as her magic opened the door. Inside was weary, dirty, chained-up Father. You had to admit, seeing him like this filled you with joy. Between stranding you here and everything he’d done to Amber, rotting in a dark prison cell was the least he deserved.

“Again? Have you come to make more fruitless demands of me?” He croaked.

“Not quite.” You answered, not hiding your smirk.

His head shot up as scrambled around to face you. His eyes were wide, and his jaw hung open.

“G-…Great One…? You have come for me…?” He noticed Celestia and Luna behind you. “Or…captured…?” You could hear his voice fall.

“In a way.” Luna said smugly.

“…What…?”

“As it turns out, ‘demons’ are quite agreeable.,” Celestia added.

“But…I offered you everything! Blood, power, mares, everything!” Father cried. “What could they have offered you that I couldn’t!?”

“Simple.” You said as you leaned in to look him in the eye. “They offered me the one thing I want. To. Go. Home. And currently you’re the only thing standing in the way of that.”

You’d heard of the expression of someone “deflating,” but you’d never seen it before. Father had thinned significantly since the last time you’d seen him, but now? What little mass he had left simply withered away. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.

“But…but I…did everything right…” he whispered.

“Yeah, well, that’s debatable. NOW,” You snapped. “I want to go home. You have the information to get me there, and at this point, you don’t have anything else to do. So, get me home, and maybe you get a less shitty cage to rot in.”

“I promise nothing!” Luna added before being shushed by Celestia.

Father didn’t reply. He seemed to be thinking it over, his flickering around frantically. His face hardened.

“No.” he said firmly.

What.

WHAT??

“I summoned you. ME!!” he roared, his rage fueling his new-found strength. “You are meant to aid ME! The only way you will leave this place is by MY will! If you are going to betray me, and I am to rot, then you shall rot with me!”

For a long moment, the only sound was Father’s ragged breathing.

“You…you realize that there’s a good chance we’re all fucked if I don’t go back, right? Me, you, your daughter, everyone! This isn’t just about you anymore!” You raged back.

“Taking you all down with me? At this point, I’ll take it.”

Without another word, you left the cell, followed closely by the two Princesses.

“Well…Fuck.” You groaned, “That didn’t go well…I knew was an ass, but I didn’t think he’d be such a vindictive bastard.”

“Stubborn fool…” Luna agreed. “What now?”

Celestia thought for a moment.

“…I…have another option.” She said slowly. “But…I wish it didn’t come to this.”

She cleared her throat.

“I believe it is time for you to try.” she said to seemingly no one.

Suddenly, there was the blare of a train horn and a bright light from the far end of the tunnel. Then, riding on a miniature version of the train that brought you to Canterlot, was the same creature that had invaded your dream: Discord. He was wearing a conductor outfit and exhaling smoke from his ears like a chimney. More smoke blew from his mouth every time he made another train noise. As he pulled up to the three of you, he stepped off and pulled out a large pocket watch.

“Right on schedule.” He said cheerily. He noticed you. “Oh! My old friend, how are you doing?”

“Alright, now. No thanks to you.” You snapped.

He recoiled as though you slapped him.

“You wound me! After everything I’ve done for you!”

“Oh, you mean the multiple times Amber or I almost died?”

“Name one time I left you out to dry.”

“The Diamond Dogs, the storm, the Timberwolves, the Ursa Minor, AND you near-homicidal pony-pals!”

Celestia and Luna looked between the two of you looking rather confused, but at the same time somewhat sympathetic to you.

“Puh-lease. You think I would be so callous as to leave you alone in an alien world with no help?” Discord countered.

“Yes.” You replied without hesitation.

Discord scoffed. The lights dimmed as he pulled out a projection screen. Pictures of your journey thus far appeared as he monologued.

“I was looking out for you the whole time. Or did you think that a random branch would end up at the bottom of a rocky ravine? Or that Zecora would be out, in the rain, at night, and show up to an Ursa Minor’s cave? And how about the odds Twiggy and her friends showing up in the nick of time to save you and your gal pal from a pack of Timberwolves?”

Discord snapped his claws and the lights returned to normal, and the screen disappeared.

“All rather convenient, isn’t it?”

There was a moment of silence. All your internal alarms screamed BULLSHIT, but you had to admit it made sense. You decided it best to let it go and spare the headache that you felt would always happen when you dealt with this thing.

“Fine, whatever.” You said, throwing your hands up. “What are you even doing here, anyway?”

“I know exactly why, but I want a certain somepony to say it.” He replied, putting a microphone in front of Celestia.

“Discord, I need your help.” She groaned as she rubbed the bridge of her muzzle. “Our…guest has information we need but…he is being rather difficult.”

“And what’s in it for me?”

Celestia sighed.

“One hour. No restrictions.”

Discord grinned and grabbed her front leg and shook it so hard she began to vibrate.

“Done and DONE. And remember: No backsies!” he cackled. “I’ll be just a moment.”

After a quick twirl, he donned a dark robe and was now holding a single candle that shone a little too brightly. He seemed to float as he entered the cell by phasing through the door as ominous chanting echoed faintly from nowhere.

“…Is he always so…extra?” you ask.

“YES.” The princesses replied instantly.

“Why put up with him?”

“Simply put, we’d rather he be an ally than an enemy.” Celestia sighed.

“And at this point, we would not be able to get rid of him even if we tried to. He takes far too much pleasure in annoying us.” Luna added.

“You know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back, right?”

Discord had appeared behind you like the freaky bastard he was. You almost had a heart attack.

“Anyway, Father and I had quite the talk.” He went on as you tried to slow your racing heart. “I don’t know what you were talking about, he was nothing but cooperative for me.”

“That was fast, even for you…” Celestia remarked.

“This is nonsense! What could you have possibly done that I could not?” Luna demanded.

The creature just smiled and patted her mane. Luna did not look pleased.

“My dear, if you have to ask that, then you don’t want to know the answer.”

Celestia cleared her throat.

“Did you get what we needed?”

He handed the Princess a paper. As you looked over her shoulder, you could feel your eyes cross trying to understand it. Numbers, equations, diagrams, and the seemingly random symbols were more than you could understand. Thankfully, Celestia seemed to get the gist of it.

“I see. Frankly, I’m surprised this even works…Although I suppose that’s a relative term in this case…”

“But it works, right?” you meekly asked.

“It should, yes. But we will need some time to gather the proper materials. I just hope we have enough time. Discord.”

The draconequus turned and froze as he was scribbling on a paper that had the words “To-Do List.” The so-called list actually was a very detailed picture of himself riding a rocket-powered tuna-salad sandwich (hold the mayo) in space, with a sad-looking Celestia wearing a dunce hat in the background. Mini-Discord was wearing a floral-print dress and a cowboy hat. The 3-D Celestia ignored in and addressed Discord himself.

“I know you are eager, but I ask you to hold back your hour of free time until our friend here has returned to his home. The situation here is unsteady enough without your…help.”

“Fine…” Discord whined. He patted his 2-D self on the head, which returned with a sad look and a whimper.

“I’m sorry, little one.” With a snap of his claws, the paper faded to dust which floated away in a non-existent wind.

“So…How long do you think it will take? We’re kinda against the clock here.” You remind the group.

“Not too long.” Luna replied, looking over the paper herself. “Although, some of the components are a bit hard to come by. Father must have spent years trying to get them all together. Fortunately, the Crown provides easier access to such materials than a disgruntled unicorn. Perhaps a day or two we will be ready to begin.”

“Good.” You said as you strode back the way you had come. “Then, in that case, I’m heading back to Ponyville.”

If you were leaving soon, then you were going to spend as much of that time with Amber as you could.

Chapter 14

The wind tousled your hair as you watched the sunset, yesterday’s events replaying in your mind. It had not gone as you had anticipated, but it had worked out. After that, the Princesses had gone about collecting the resources to send you back. Twilight had gone over the list with you, but all that magic talk went right over your head. What mattered is that earlier today, Spike had coughed up word that they had everything, and were on their way. Right now, they were setting it all up back at Twilight’s place. If everything went right, your time in this world was just about over.

Amber shifted slightly in your lap, rousing herself from the light doze brought on by your scratching. Even though she had been cleared to leave the hospital, for now, she still tired out quickly.

“How long was I…?” she trailed off, still half-asleep.

“Only a few minutes.” You replied, smiling.

“Hm…I don’t want to waste this…For a second, I thought you were gone…”

“Don’t worry, I’m still here.”

She looked away towards the horizon.

“Only for a little while longer…” she mumbled.

There was a pause, as the two of you just looked to the sun. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the town, with Twilight’s treehouse standing out amongst the buildings. A faint, golden light glinted from a balcony. Apparently, the Princesses really did move the sun and moon. Go figure.

“I’m sorry.” Amber finally said.

“What for?”

“I…I’ve only been a burden to you. The doctors told me what you did. If I hadn’t let myself get hurt, you…” she trailed off as she began sobbing.

You held her close.

“Amber.” You said softly, but firmly. “That wasn’t your fault. I made the choice to leave Zecora’s. And even though it worked out, it was too close. No one could have been able to know what was going to happen.

“BUT SHOULD HAVE!” she wailed. “I’m the one that should be able to know these things and prevent them!”

She buried her face in your chest. You did your best to ignore the stabbing pain from her horn.

“…You said it yourself, your visions are clear. You had an idea of what was going to happen, but no specifics. Let alone how to stop whatever was.”

That seemed to help. A little. If nothing else, she stopped stabbing you with her face. Her eyes met yours, her molten copper eyes still shining with tears. An idea popped into your head, and you grabbed Amber’s necklace.

“Why not give it another shot? See if something’s different?” you offered.

“A-Are you sure?” she asked.

“Sure. I’d like to know if there’s a good chance of me getting incinerated in the next couple of hours.” You joked, which didn’t seem to help improve her mood. “And besides, I trust you. You got this.”

Amber paused, thinking it over. After a moment, she lit her horn and looked into the old sap with the heart-shaped leaf. Her eyes glowed with the same molten-copper light as before, and the fiery light of her magic danced around her. After a moment she breathed in sharply and blinked, a shudder running down her spine.

“You okay?” you asked.

Amber nodded.

“Yes, just…taking it all in.”

“Is it that bad?”

“No, I…I’m not sure. I couldn’t make much sense of it. I…I saw you in the circle, like the last time I looked. The spell goes off the same way as before, and…not much after. There were…flashes, but I don’t understand what they meant. I saw a building, as big as the Princess’ castle. A massive hole in the ground. A…pony, I think? An Earth Pony, as big as Celestia. And…” she shuddered again. “Something turned them to stone, I think. They were reared up, so maybe something scared them? I’ve heard of something called a Cockatrice…”

She trailed off, her eyes wide with worry.

“I…didn’t see you there. I’m sorry, but I don’t know if it’s going to work…”

You thought about it for a moment. What Amber saw didn’t mean you wouldn’t make it home, but it still wasn’t a guarantee. There were plenty of big buildings back on Earth, that was for sure. The hole didn’t make much sense, but it wasn’t impossible for there to be one. Some kind of construction project? What concerned you was the last vision. A super-sized pony, sans horn and wings, possibly turned to stone by another creature you’d never heard of before? Given your recent track record, it didn’t bode well. On a note, you decided to never go camping again. Zoos were still up for debate. You and animals weren’t getting along well recently.

After a moment you stretched and let out a sigh.

“Well, no point in stressing about it. We’ve got to do it either way, so whatever happens, happens.”

Amber nodded but didn’t look encouraged.

A thought struck you.

“Were you there?” you asked your equine friend.

“What?” Amber answered, taken aback.

“Were you there when the spell goes off?”

“I…I think so, why?”

You smiled and continued rubbing behind her ears.

“That’s good. The last time you checked, you weren’t there when it happened. I’m glad this time there’s a good chance you’ll be there to see me off.”

She blushed and smiled back at you, albeit a bit sadly.

“Yes, I guess that is the best we could hope for at this point.”

The sun dipped closer to the horizon, and the sky blazed in orange, red, and yellow light. You looked into Amber’s eyes. Huh. They were pretty much the same color.

Blazing warm colors gave way to dark cooler hues as the sun finally sank below the horizon, the moon taking its place in the sky behind you. It looked bigger than the moon back home. The sky lit up with a tapestry of stars, adding to the moonlight. The light reflection caused Ambers eyes to sparkle, a stark contrast to her pale blue coat and sea-green mane.

She looked…beautiful.

Wordlessly, unconsciously, you drifted closer to her. Your eyes never moved away from hers.

Your lips came within a hair’s width from each other, almost touching…

“Ahem. Am I interrupting something?” a voice behind you spoke up. The two of you scrambled to turn around in a mess of arms, legs, and hooves. Luna attempted to cover her smirk with a hoof. She did not do well.

“Apologies. I sometimes forget how easy it is to sneak up on creatures enjoying my night.” She stopped being subtle and grinned at you with a cat-like grin. “Although I doubt your attention was on the sky, was it?”

“Nothing happened!” you squawked awkwardly. “We weren’t doing anything!”

“Anymore…” Amber grumbled.

“Of course.” Luna chuckled.

You got up and dusted yourself off.

“So, what’s up?”

Luna’s face sunk into a much more serious one.

“Yes, I’m sorry to cut your goodbye short but…” she sighed.

“Everything is ready. It’s time to send you home.”

“Are you…sure this will work?” You hesitantly ask Twilight. Her mane was a mess, with random lock poking out everywhere.

“Yep! Totally!” she almost cackled. The wild look in her eyes and the random twitching was not reassuring.

“We have gone over the spell as best we can. We are confident it will work as intended.” Celestia clarified.

“Uh-huh. How confident?”

Twilight flipped through one of the many papers strewn about the library.

“Best estimate? About seventy-three-point-two-nine percent.” She took a deep breath smoothed her mane a bit. “Give or take a percentile depending on how the mana fields and interstellar winds interact, of course.”

“Everything will work out for the best, I’m sure.” Luna reassured you.

The circle on the floor had that familiar white glow, the same as the one you had found yourself in when you first arrived. It had not been that long but felt like it had been months, if not a year since then. This new circle wasn’t as big as Father’s but it looked much more complex.

You looked out at the small group around you. Twilight, Spike, Luna, Celestia, Discord, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and…fine, Rainbow Dash. To call them ‘Friends’ was, in some cases a stretch, but…hell they gave it their best shot.

And…Amber.

The memory of the moments before Luna arrived was still fresh in your mind. With it brought…questions. Questions that you weren’t sure you knew the answer to. Questions that seemed to look like would never be answered.

On that note, you guessed it was time for goodbyes.

You gave Celestia and Luna a polite bow, who returned the gesture in kind and wished you well. Twilight, Pinkie, and Fluttershy were swept up in and hug. Spike, being the only creature present with both what passed for hands and a Y-chromosome received the coveted ‘Bro-Fist.’ Applejack punched you affectionately on the shoulder, and Rarity offered her hoof for a polite hoof/handshake. You and Rainbow stuck your tongues out at each other.

Then, you came up to Discord.

“Discord, you may have left me mostly to own devices in a world I knew nothing about, did nothing to help me get home, and did little, if anything, about your friends who were actively hunting me down like an animal…”

“But…?” He offered.

“Hold on, I’m thinking.”

Discord huffed.

“But,” you sighed. “you didn’t immediately kill me, may have subtly helped me survive here and there, and made a few decent pop-culture references. So I at least have a neutral opinion of you, I guess.”

“That’s all I ever wanted.” Discord whispered, wiping a tear from his eye.

You shook your head and moved on to…

Amber.

What could you possibly say to the only one that had consistently been on your side? To the one that kept you focused on making it through this whole mess? To likely the best friend you had ever had, in this world or the one you were about to return to? As you swept her up in the tightest, most loving hug you had ever given, the words came to you.

“Thank you.”

You held her there for what felt like forever. Honestly, you wish it could have been forever. She melted into the embrace, first with a light sob, then tears, then outright wailing that threatened to tear your heart out. You held her for as long as you could, rocking her and scratching behind her ears.

As she began to calm down, Celestia placed a hoof on your shoulder.

“I’m sorry, but we must proceed.” She stated with a calm, empathetic voice.

You nodded and withdrew your arms from Amber. She whimpered softly, and Luna placed a hoof on her shoulder.

As you took your place in the center of the circle, you looked around the room one last time.

“Well…Let’s get this over with.”

Everyone took their respective places around the circle in silence. Twilight and the other Elements took the primary spaces around the circle, with their magic bling shining in the faint light. From what you had been told, they were going to be the main ignition of the spell. The artifacts they wore would basically be powering the spell and kind of ‘willing’ you to go home. Celestia and Luna faced opposite of each other and would act as sort of anchor to keep everyone but the target (you) where they were. Amber and Spike would be outside of the circle as observers, and Discord would be as far away as space would allow. Luna claimed his ‘chaotic aura’ could interfere with the process, but you suspected she just wanted him out of the way.

“So am I gonna feel anything? ‘Cause the trip here wasn’t exactly ‘pleasant’.” You asked.

“…Maybe…?” Twilight grimaced. “We’re dealing with a lot of unknowns here. If it’s any consolation, I’m almost entirely certain there’s a good chance you’ll at least survive the initial casting mostly intact!”

“Wonderful...let’s get this over with.”

One by one the six Elements began to glow and rise in the air. You had a moment of déjà vu of when you first encountered them, right before they tried to nuke you out of existence. Good times. For a brief moment you wondered if they were just going to try doing that again, but you decided to trust them. Even if you ended up as a pile of ash, it was probably better than whatever the universe was cooking up to get rid of you anyway.

Amber’s gaze met your own. She looked absolutely distraught. Spike did his best to comfort her, but it seemed to do little to help her.

As the circle began to glow brighter a buzzing filled the air. The floating mares' eyes snapped open with a flash of white light, and the circle below them shifted colors to match the gems they wore. The colors began to swirl around you, pulsing and shifting with increasing speed. A faint pillar of light surrounded you.

Amber blinked, as though an idea came to her that she hadn’t considered before. You hoped it was something that would help when you were gone.

Suddenly, you felt the odd sensation of gravity reversing as you began to weakly float in the air. At least you weren’t dropping through the floor this time. You weren’t anxious to have a repeat of the ‘organ house party’ you had on your arrival.

Without warning, Amber bolted forward, knocking Spike to the side. She paused briefly at the circles’ edge, but only for a moment. Steeling her nerves, she leaped over the line and bolted towards you. The buzzing grew to a loud drone, drowning out the shout from Spike. Your vision began to blur as the light around you became blinding.

About five feet from you, she leaped into the air with her forelimbs outstretched. On instinct, you tried to reach out to her.

She shouted over the drone, and you barely managed to make out what she said:

“I’m coming with-“

Before she finished, your vision whited out and a massive force to your gut flung you through the ether, hurdling through time and space.

Chapter 15

The car’s engine sputtered and choked as you pulled into the parking lot. It may be a near-deathtrap made of mostly rust, second-hand parts, duct tape, and probably a bit of gum, but it still worked. It wasn’t anything special, but it got you from place to place.

It had been…Geez, had it been an entire year since you got back? The back landing in your own world had been…unpleasant. You ended up in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere, with a massive headache. You wandered around in a daze for hours before passing out near a dirt road. Fortunately, a passing car had found you, and you woke up in a hospital the next day. You had been declared missing and presumed dead long ago, so the police had a lot of questions for you, especially why you had multiple fractures that showed signs of professional medical aid. You managed to bullshit and excuse of knowing basic first aid and had set your own bones. When asked where the hell you were, you told them you had been kidnapped by a fanatical anti-government group, managed to escape, and had wandered around for god knows how long looking for civilization. Which wasn’t a total lie, just one of omission. They seemed to buy it, which was a relief. Adding the parts about alternate dimensions, talking horses, chaos gods, and all the rest would likely end up with you being fitted for a very uncomfortable jacket and a padded cell.

Truth be told, you had had your doubts if what had happened was real. Everything after you fell through that sidewalk so long ago felt like a dream. Was Equestria real, or just some fever dream? Your injuries were very real, that was for sure, you just weren’t sure how they had happened. Even now, it felt like you were still dreaming. As if you were going to wake up in that damn circle again, listening to Father ramble on and on. Or maybe wake up in some other dimension, maybe some ironic equivalent to Hell. Or one where everyone had a funny mustache and talked backward or something equally stupid. After talking horses, anything was on the table.

The only proof you had that it had all happened you had found in your pocket after leaving the hospital. A makeshift necklace with a heart-shaped leaf suspended in millennia-old tree sap. You weren’t sure when Amber had slipped it to you, but you were happy she did. It gave you some solace knowing there was some proof that you hadn’t completely lost your mind. You never took it off.

You not being batshit insane wasn’t the only good news. Since you got back, you’d been…lucky. Like, really lucky, at least compared to Equestria happened. Your old boss, ever the cold-hearted bastard, had replaced you almost immediately. However, your ‘miraculous story’ had generated a bit of a media buzz with a few interviews, which in turn ended up leaving you with a respectable royalty check. It was enough to buy a decent fully-furnished apartment, and the rust-caked chariot you now drove, but it couldn’t last forever. Recently, you had been approached by a kind-hearted woman claiming to be a principal to a nearby high school. Apparently, they needed a new janitor after the previous one had quit. According to her, there had been some sort of issue with a student, who lost her shit after losing some beauty pageant or whatever six months prior. She set off a bomb that hit a gas line and did major damage to the building. Your predecessor had taken one look at the damage and said, quote ‘Fuck this shit, my back’s too old for this.’

Thankfully the cleanup had already happened, and reconstruction was underway. The only thing you were needed for was basic janitorial work. It may not be the most glamorous work, but it was a fat paycheck. That had raised a red flag, but your employer had explained that she wanted someone who would be ‘discreet about oddities.’ which is why she claimed she hadn’t been able to fill that position thus far. When you asked about what she meant, she just smiled cryptically and handed you your large ring of keys. Eh, if all you had to do was keep the place clean and your mouth shut for the biggest paycheck you had ever gotten, then so be it. As long as it wasn’t something illegal or whatever, you could handle anything. With the good fortune you’d had recently, maybe the universe or was trying to make up for all the near-death experiences? Whatever the reason, you weren’t going to complain.

It was your first day on the job. Or night as it were. Most of your shifts were in the evening, which wasn’t that bad. Your Equestrian escapades had really fucked up your sleep schedule. With a turn of the key, the engine sputtered to a stop. As you stepped out of your car, you surveyed the building. The front of the building was covered in plywood and tarps, and the front lawn was marred by a huge crater. Thankfully, whatever bomb the crazed bitch had missed the schools’ iconic statue: a horse, majestically rearing up. At that moment you connected the dots to Amber’s last vision. Everything she said was here.

You sighed and started towards the school, your keys jingling as you walked. Amber had been on your mind almost constantly since you got back. The same questions had plagued you: What could have been? Could you have had a future with her?

Did you…love her?

It was hard to come to terms with. Ordinarily, a human dating a horse would be…weird, to say the least. However, she was an intelligent being, so maybe it was closer to dating an alien? That was a little better, you guessed. Didn’t help so much with the deep, gnawing sense of longing. All those breakup songs suddenly made a lot more sense.

Another sigh. It wasn’t as if figuring out those questions and your own hang-ups about species would do you much good. Amber was lost to you, and you’d never see her again. You supposed that, over time, you’d move on. At least, maybe you’d get used to the pain.

Not too far away, you could see lights dancing in the sky. You remembered the school was doing some music festival or something tonight. Whatever band was playing right now was good, despite being nearly out of earshot. It was low, almost…hypnotic, like the words were beckoning you to come closer. Maybe you’d stop by after you finished for the night if they were still going at that point.

As you got closer, you noticed a figure in front of the school.

Odd, you thought, shouldn’t be anyone here this late.

The figure was definitely a woman, slender build, slightly shorter than yourself. Her skin looked to a kind of pale blue in the encroaching darkness She was facing away from you, so you couldn’t see her face behind her…sea-green hair.

Something’s…familiar about her. Can’t quite place it…

The woman was wearing a simple brown hoodie with jeans and sneakers. She was stumbling around, almost falling over several times. Was she drunk or something? Whatever the case, you guessed it was probably part of your job to keep away people who weren’t supposed to be here. Might as well make start earning your pay.

“Hey, you!” you called to the mystery woman. “You can’t be here!”

The woman froze with an audible gasp. She slowly turned around to meet your gaze…

With her molten copper eyes.

“…Master…?” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn’t believe it, but there was no way you could mistake that voice.

“…Amber…? Is that…really you…?”

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. You felt a bit of wetness on your face.

Her steps were wobbly as she tried to rush towards you, almost falling over again. You managed to dart over catch her before she hit the pavement. The position you found yourselves in was… interesting. For a long moment, you stayed like that, just staring into each other’s eyes. Then Amber smiled and broke down in cry-laughter that would have been gross on anyone else. On her, it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, and you couldn’t resist holding her close as you joined in.

It was a long time before you let each other go. Neither of you wanted to be the first as if the other would disappear as soon as you did. Eventually, you pulled apart enough to look her in eyes.

“How…?” you asked “How are you here? And…and you’re…?”

“A human?” she finished with a smile. “It’s a long story, but Princess Twilight found a portal that led here. I may have…borrowed it.”

“But…But if you’re here, then…Can you be here? Won’t everything get all fucked up again?”

Amber hugged you tighter.

“I don’t know everything about how this works. What I do know is that this doesn’t work the same way as…his summoning worked.” She grimaced at the mention of the name. “The circle that brought you to Equestria was…unnatural. But the portal is like a…tunnel, I think is how she described it. Princess Twilight found it a few months ago, and she’s made several trips here and back again without any problems. I saw her go in so I…” she blushed “May snuck into her library to use it.”

“Well, I guess that-Wait, Princess Twilight? Since when?”

“That’s…a long story. The short version is that she fixed some old spell, grew some wings and now she’s the Princess of Friendship.”

“…Huh…”

Amber giggled.

“Yeah, that was about how I reacted. Everypony else just seemed to accept it like it was nothing. They’ve been great to me, but they’re a bunch of weirdos.”

Her laugh was music to your ears. You couldn’t think of anything greater sound than that. One of your hands drifted to her head and began scratching. It was a bit different than before, she still happily leaned into it.

“So, how long can you stay here?” You inquired, still a bit nervous about potential metaphysical murder attempts.

“I…I don’t think there’s a limit. The portal only opens every so often, but I don’t think there’s a limit to how long someone can stay in one world or the other. The first time Twilight came here was after an old student of Celestia’s stole her Element. Apparently, she’s been in this world for several years, and she’s not dead yet so…I think I’m okay to stay here as long as I want.” She looked at you with large hope-filled eyes. The implied question was obvious.

You thought it over. The apartment you were in could certainly house two people. Your paycheck probably had enough excess to support her. Getting Amber a job would be difficult, with her being a literal illegal alien. That would be the hardest thing to deal with, especially if the government started looking into her. Maybe you could track down that pony Amber mentioned?

These questions could be dealt with later. They all had a solution, if temporary. When it came down to it, there was only one question that really mattered:

Did you want to have Amber in your life?

That was an easy answer.

“Of course. You can stay as long as you want.” You answered as you hugged the pony-turned-human tight, to which she responded in kind. Her happy tears were forming a sizable wet spot growing on your shirt.

After a long moment, you moved to get up. Amber tried to stand as well, but again wobbled and almost fell before you caught her.

“Heh, I’m still not used to this new body.” She laughed. After a pause, she blushed and shyly met your eyes. “So…what do you think? My new body, I mean…”

Your face went red.

“I…You…look good.” You stammered “You look great! N-Not that you didn’t look good before, it’s just that-“

The soft feel of her lips on your own mercifully cut your dumbfounded rambling short. It caught you off guard at first, but after a moment you leaned into it. The music from the festival thing had gotten a lot quieter, and you thought you could hear a soloist. After a moment, it started to get louder as more sounds joined it like the world was giving you two a moment all to yourselves before erupting into a celebration. It kind of made You wanted this moment to last forever.

A lot of those moments recently.

As you pulled apart you stared into each other’s eyes. You swore you felt a little spark of…something. Magic, maybe, as cliché as it sounded. Ah, fuck it, who were you to dismiss something like that? After being sucked into another dimension entirely, you’d believe just about anything at this point.

“So, what happens now?” Amber whispered.

The reason you were here in the first place suddenly came back to you.

“Well for the moment, I’ve got a job to do. Need to clean this school. After that…maybe dinner?”

“I’d love to try human food!” she hugged you tighter “I’m so happy I found you again!”

“Me too Amber.” A thought struck you. You slipped a hand into your shirt and pulled out the necklace. “By the way, I found this in my pocket. Any idea how it ended up there?”

“Em, well, about that…” she answered with a blush as you slipped the trinket around her neck. “I…just wanted you to have something to remember me by, Master.”

“As if I could forget. By the way, you know you don’t have to call me that right? I think we’ve established I’m not a demon, nor your ‘master.’”

Amber smiled shyly.

“Oh, I know. I started suspecting it after the Diamond Dogs. Saving me from a pack of teeth and claws isn’t something a demon would do. Now when we first met, I was convinced you were some soul-eating horror from beyond the veil. After, though, I figured out pretty quick that I was only half right on that.”

“Then, why…?”

“Well…I don’t think you’ve ever told me your real name.”

“…Really?”

She nodded.

“Yep. No clue. To be fair, we had a lot more important matters at the time, so I guess it just never came up.”

“…Huh, now that you bring it up…Come to think of it, why didn’t anyone else ask? Twilight, the Princesses, Discord? Father I get, but no one bothered to ask my name? I’m feeling kinda insulted if I’m honest.”

Amber held your arm tightly for support as you guided her shakily to the school.

“To be fair, most of them were trying to stop the world from trying to kill you. And Discord…he’s kind of a dick.”

“Such language! What happened to my sweet little Amber? Those ponies have corrupted your once pure soul! And they called me a demon!” you gasped in mock-drama. Amber giggled. In all honesty, you were glad she was more confident. Guess without you around to latch onto helped her think for herself. Maybe for the first time in her life, now that you thought about it. You planted a kiss on her head, and she sighed contently.

“So what it?” she asked.

“What is what?”

“Your name!” Amber exclaimed with a playful slap to your chest. “I think after all we’ve been through, I should at least know what to call you!”

“Fair enough. Well, Amber Gaze, my name is-“

Your much-belated introduction was cut short by a loud BOOM, followed by a rainbow blasting into the sky. After a moment, an immense ethereal alicorn with a rainbow mane descended from the clouds. It reared up and shot a rainbow laser at something you couldn’t see. The impact caused a blinding, massive fuck-off explosion. It only lasted for a few minutes, but it was quite a spectacular sight. It left the two of you were left speechless.

After a moment of staring into the sky in stunned silence, you managed to find your voice.

“…Let’s go inside.”

“Good idea.”

With her arms wrapped around one of your own, the two walked into the building, hoping whatever just happened wasn’t an indication of whatever your future together held. You’d had quite enough magic shit trying to kill you, thank you very much. It’s not like you deserved any of it.

After all, it’s not like you were a demon or anything.

Author's Note

Well...There we go. I think this is a good a place to leave things as any. I...didn't this would blow up as big as it did, and I just want to thank everyone who followed our perpetually-nameless hero.

After almost a year in the making, it's over. This is, by far, the longest fic I've done to date. One thing that struck me is how the tone changed from how I originally intended. When I first started, I was thinking this was going to a silly little adventure. And, well, we all know how that turned out.

But I'm happy with this, and I'm glad it was received so well! Now, I return to my slumber. I have a few ideas for short one-offs ~~(and maybe a sequel or two?)~~, but I'm taking a break for a while.

Chapter 1

You were a normal guy. If you were being honest, you were a bit below average. You lived alone in a boring town in a crummy apartment. Didn’t even have a proper bed, just an old mattress on the floor. Regular meals were a luxury, and even then they rarely approached ‘healthy.’

As much as you wanted to improve things, your boss was a cheap bastard who took the minimum wage as more of a suggestion. The job sucked, but it was the only one you could get. Four years of college well spent.

Today, however, was a special day. Some generous soul had given you a large tip, a whopping five dollars! You’d even managed to sneak it past the living money-radar that was your boss, who would’ve claimed it as his own by divine right. Fuck that.

Being a grown, reasonable adult, you decided to spend your bounty on a cheap coffee from a gas station. For once you enjoyed your usual walk home, the caffeine making feel like something resembling a human being. You felt tingle of excitement as you take another sip. Life was looking up.

Wait. The tingle was getting stronger. What was in that coffee?

Suddenly, your vision goes blurry and the ground falls out from under you. Nausea overwhelms you as your brain hosts a house party with all your organs invited, and your lower intestines just showed up drunk. Colors and shapes danced in your vision, twisting and twirling inside of each other. You think you threw up at some point. Your precious coffee had most certainly been lost.

Eventually, you landed on the ground. Hard.

You stumbled to your feet, trying and failing to blink your eyes back to normal. As the spinning and shapes eventually faded, you noticed you were in a dimly lit room. Maybe you fell through the sidewalk into the sewer? The town’s infrastructure was old and terrible, so something like that wouldn’t have been surprising. Except when you looked up, there was no hole in the ceiling.

The main sources of light were a few torches on the wall, which probably wasn’t a standard feature in even the worst sewers. A slight glow drew your attention to your feet. You found yourself standing in the center of an intricately drawn circle, which pulsed with a faint white light. Okay then.

Then you heard the voices. Fervent whispers, coming from somewhere in the darkness. As your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you saw a group of short, hooded figures. You guessed the tallest of only came up to your waist.

Eaten by molemen. Not the way I thought I’d go, thought for sure it’d be a shootout after I shanked the boss. Oh well, still kinda cool.

“Um…Hi…?” you asked hesitantly. “Do uh…do any of you know where I am?”

After few more moments of nervous whispering, one figure slowly stepped forward. It lowered its hood…and it was a small horse. A GODDAMN horse. You stared. You blinked. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. Was there a jailbreak at a farm somewhere?

“Here me! We have summoned you to our realm to enact our will! Soon all of Equestria shall praise our names!” it proclaimed. It went on, not even really talking to you anymore, more the crowd behind it. You weren’t paying much attention anyway, so it didn’t matter.

A horse. A TALKING. HORSE. What the hell was in that coffee? It was cheap-ass coffee, so you know you didn’t pay for something that make you trip THIS hard. Maybe someone slipped it in? It was possible, there were sickos out there that would do this to a stranger just to get a laugh.

Well you were already on this trip, so might as well go along with it. You just hoped you weren’t doing anything stupid in real life.

“Hey, ‘scuse me? Tiny horse thing?”

The horse stopped mid-sentence and turned. It looked like it forgot you were there.

Now that you got a better look at it, you noticed a few details. Firstly, it had a horn. Great, it wasn’t just a horse, but a damn unicorn. A drug-spawned unicorn. So cliché. Second, its sickly-looking grey coat was further marred by a gnarly scar that definitely hadn’t healed properly. It started under its chin and twisted to just under the horn, passing through its right eye. The milky-white iris was a stark contrast to the left’s pale green, which gleamed with a wicked intent.

“My apologies, great one. I was captivated by our success in summoning you, I forgot my manners.” It spoke in a whiney, weasel-like voice. “I will answer to ‘Father’ during our interaction.”

“…‘Father?’ Strange name.” you commented. Though on the other hand, questioning the name of your drug-trip-spawned-scarred-talking-unicorn may not be the most pressing matter.

“Ah, yes, well. I unfortunately cannot reveal my true moniker. A necessary precaution. In this business names have power, as you know.” ‘Father’ replied a snaggle-toothed grin.

“…Okay then. Whatever floats your boat. Can you at least tell me where I am? This doesn’t look any sewer I’ve ever been in. Which is a few more than I’d care to admit.”

Father blinked.

“Um, I don’t know what this ‘Sew-yer’ place is, but you are in Equestria. My followers and I-“ he motioned to the hooded figures behind him. “-summoned you here to bring about the Great Upheaval!”

‘Great Upheaval.’ That didn’t sound ominous at all. You crossed arms and sighed. This was going be a long trip. Or dream. The fact you had enough for coffee was enough to warrant suspicion on whether you’d woken up that morning at all. Either way, all you could do was ride it out.

“Uh-huh. And what might this ‘Great Upheaval’ entail, exactly?” you inquired, genuinely wanting to see where this dream/drug trip was headed.

Father grinned, which thanks to his assumedly lazy dentist, came across as rather…wicked.

“The total restructure of Equestian society! Perhaps the entire world! The princesses have had their time, but that time is done! They have lost their right to rule, now that they promote the so-called Elements of Harmony, especially Twilight Sparkle.” He spat on the floor, an action mirror by the other figures in the room. “With your aid, I shall take the reins of Equestria’s fate!”

“Um, YOU take the reins? I thought we were going to install a democratic republic?” one of the figures piped up.

Father dismissively waved a hoof.

“Fine, WE will. A slip of the tongue.”

“Just us? That sounds like an oligarchy to me.” Another figure chimed in.

“Didn’t we agree on an autocracy?”

“No no, a confederation is the way to go.”

“Personally, I voted for anarchy.”

This went on for several minutes, with the group arguing amongst themselves. Again, it seemed like they forgot you were there. Rather rude, considering they had been spawned from your unconscious/drug-addled mind.

“HEY!” you roared, and eyes (even the ones you couldn’t see) snapped to you.

“I don’t fucking care what your political views are! I just want to know WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE!?”

Father cautiously stepped forward, his voice trembling.

“W-well, we don’t have a prayer of overthrowing the princesses and the Elements ourselves.”

“They would wreck our shit.” A voice added.

Father nodded. “As I said, not a prayer. But with you, we are a force to be reckoned with!”

“And…why is that?” you asked, dumbfounded. After all if a unicorn would quote, ‘have their shit wrecked,’ by these ‘princesses’ how in the hell could you help?

Father flashed another horrific smile.

“I’m certain you could come of with something. After all a demon’s power is legendary!”

“Oh, of course, that makes…”

“Wait,

WHAT!?”

Chapter 3

Your life had become…weird. At this point you couldn’t deny it was real, it had been too long for a dream or a hallucination. There was still the chance you were in some sort of coma, but it didn’t really matter much at this point.

It was hard to tell how long you had been in this…’other world’ was probably the best way to put it. There wasn’t a clock down here, but you guessed it had been at least a week since you’d been snatched across space and time. Maybe two.

You had definitely been fired. Eh, the job sucked anyway.

The cultist treated you like a king, but whether that was respect or fear was hard to tell. They brought you anything you asked for, including a luxurious gift: a stool. However, you either let Amber use it, or sat on the floor with her in your lap for scritches. Still, it was nice of them.

Speaking of Amber, she had been improving since your little ‘speech.’ She had gained some weight, and a sheen had appeared on her mane and coat. You couldn’t see as many bones as before, which you guessed was a good thing. Again, not a vet. Overall, she seemed healthy. Her mood had improved too, but…

She was still a bit on the skittish side, and rarely used the authority you’d bestowed on her. She mostly stuck by your side, and only left to get food. Fruits and veggies mostly, which made sense given the horses. At least they had something you could eat, aside from the hay and literal flowers. You missed bacon.

In the time you were alone together, you managed to get Amber to open up a bit about her world. ‘Equestria’ she called it. Apparently there were three main groups to the populace: Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth ponies. The princesses were called Celestia and Luna, and were ‘Alicorns’ with traits of all three groups. Amber also claimed they were thousands of years old, and capable of moving the sun and moon. She mentioned another named Cadence, but she ruled another country so the cult didn’t seem to mind her much. It all seemed a bit out there, but it seemed in line with everything else you’ve dealt with so far. Near all-powerful beings in charge of Horseyland? Why not? The prospect of facing them didn’t fill you with joy, however.

Not that you would have been the first. Apparently, someone had tried to take over every other month or so in recent times. The list included, but was not limited to: A rock-obsessed unicorn, and anorexic shape-shifting bug thing, one of the princesses going through an emo phase, and a pumpkin that had resembled a frowny face. You, a bald-ish ape with anxiety, was at least not THAT out of the norm.

You had had the chance to talk to a few members of the cult as well. It took while to get them to open up, but once they did they wouldn’t shut up. Especially the one you called Anarchy. Because of the whole ‘demon thing’ they skittish about using their real names, so you had to come up with nicknames for them. Anarchy got his from his favorite style of government, (or lack thereof). He was nice enough, and you were making progress in talking him down from his namesake to something a bit less…drastic. You had also learned quite a bit about his herb garden. Apparently his basil was doing quite well.

The cult was made of well…morons. It felt mean to put it that way, but it was accurate. They would constantly ask you for favors or advice on the stupidest things. One of them had asked you with a straight face to open a pickle jar. (Apparently they were fascinated by your hands.) They also had no common sense and followed anyone/pony that seemed to know what they were talking about.

Which explains why they followed Father. He wasn’t a total moron, but still acted smarter than he was. His grand plan was to summon a demon, and then let that demon come up with a plan to take down the princesses. Not only did he have no idea what a demon looked like, he honestly expected any demon summoned to play it straight and not stab him in the back. (Metaphorically or literally) You could think of at least ten loopholes to ‘Help me destroy the Princesses,’ and any demon worth the title could do worse with that kind of leeway.

That said he knew something was up. You’d been stalling for time, trying to think of way to get home. Father was getting more and more impatient, and was hiding it less and less. You didn’t know what he would do when they found out you couldn’t do jack shit to help him, but you didn’t want to find out. If they were crazy enough to go up against what were essentially gods, and summon a demon to do so, what were they going to do to you for messing it up? Better not to risk it.

Not that you could do much currently. You were spending the day the same way you had been since you got here: doing something between fuck and all. The cultists only hung around for a few hours a day, usually when Father would get frustrated trying to get you to make a deal. Maybe they had day jobs or something? Amber was sleeping comfortably in your lap like a big cat, as had become usual. The urge to scratch her ears was strong, but you didn’t want to risk waking her. ‘Bored’ was the only word you could think of at the moment.

Your attention was drawn to the circle on the floor. Father had warned against trying to cross it, but was a bit vague on what exactly would happen if you tried. It was doubtful it would do anything permanent, but the thought was still unnerving. You carefully slid Amber’s head off your lap and moved closer, trying to decide whether or not to risk it.

…Well it wasn’t like you had anything else to do. After checking to make sure Amber was still asleep, you stood at the edge of your 2D prison. You take a deep breath, brace yourself for the worst, and stepped over the line.

And nothing happened.

You stepped back over the line, and still nothing. Hopping back and forth over the line, you feel nothing more than a slight tingle in your gut that felt similar to how you got here. Only without the whole ‘falling into a cultist world-domination plot’ thing.

Satisfied that Father had thoroughly fucked up, you made a break for the door. About halfway through the room, though, you slowed to a stop as questions plagued your mind. Where would you go? Which way was home? Were you even in the same dimension as home? You didn’t know the answer to any of those. Trotting back to Amber and the circle, you felt a bit downtrodden. It may not be an ideal situation, or even necessarily an ideal one, but it was the best you had. Here you got food and water on demand, and almost anything else you asked for. How long that would last was concerning, but it was something you’d figure out when the time came.

No sooner had you made it to the circle, you heard a deep THUD close by. The room shook, startling Amber awake, and plumes of dust fell from the ceiling. After a moment, another THUD. Then another. And another.

To quote a famous nerf herder: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

The door flew open with a crash, and Father bolted into the room, with a small group of followers close behind. They slammed the door behind them, and a flick of Father’s horn caused it to glow a light blue.

“W-what’s going on?” Amber stammered, a tremble running down her spine.

“The Elements have found us!” Father snapped back.

“The…Elements?” you echoed, completely lost.

“The Elements of ‘Harmony!’ The new attack dogs of Celestia, led by thrice-damned Twilight Sparkle!” Father replied as he paced in front of you. He stopped and looked you dead in the eyes. “There is no more time, we must form our pact NOW!”

…Well fuck…

“Um…I…That is-“ you start, before the door explodes into smoke and splinters, and ponies too close sailing across the room. With how effective Father’s spell was, he may as well have tried to keep it closed by asking nicely.

As the dust settled, six figures appeared. Two Unicorns, two Pegasi, and two Borings. One boring wore a Stetson and twirled a lasso, the other was pink and was constantly bouncing. Hovering in the back was a wispy-maned mare that looked like she was about to faint just being there, and the another Pegasus that looked like a pissed-off Pride flag. One of the unicorns reminded you of those overly-dramatic prep girls from a bad sitcom designed by out of touch executives. The other, the purple one leading the pack, wore a gold tiara, while the others wore necklaces. You guessed she was the one in charge.

The room fell silent, save for your heart pounding in your ears. Everyone just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

Prissy was the first to speak.

“That’s the demon? It’s hideous!”

Okay, rude.

“Is that it? It doesn’t seem so tough.” Pride Pony boasted.

“Betcha Ah can hogtie ‘em.” Yeehaw remarked with a grin.

“We should still be careful…” Wimpy whispered, barely audible.

“CAREFUL IS FOR THE WEAK!” roared Bouncy, who had somehow produced a Viking helm and spear.

“Keep it together, girls. We need to take care of this before that demon can do whatever it’s planning!” Purple commanded as she glared directly at you so intently you felt like you’d burst into flames.

“Let’s go!” all six cried as they charged.

What happened next could only be described as…chaos. Like something out of a cartoon. The air was filled with dust, and the sound of fighting was deafening. You’d catch a glimpse of one of the cult or the Elements, but you couldn’t keep track of what was happening. Every so often, a bolt of magic or cultist would go flying past.

“Master, what do we do!?” Amber cried tugging on you pant leg.

You just stood there, weighing your options.

As you saw it you had two options: enjoy the brawl and hope the winner didn’t kill you, or make a break for what remained of the door and head into the unknown. Honestly neither was an attractive option.

“Great One!” a voice called out, snapping you back to reality. It was Father, crawling out of the fight. He was bruised and battered, as in he was covered in cake mix. You decided not to question it.

“Great One, now is our chance! Grant me power and whatever you wish shall be yours! Land, wealth, the souls of the citizens, even my own followers, whatever! PRICE BE DAMNED!” he begged.

“Not so fast!” declared another voice. The dust cloud faded revealing the Elements standing triumphant, the cultists scattered about them groaning.

Father let out a shriek that made you ears ring.

“Now that your followers are beaten, we’ll banish your demon friend back to wherever it came from!” Purple proclaimed proudly.

The six ponies’ jewelry began to glow, and each one floated into the air, even the wingless ones. As they rose, Father swapped between begging you to do something and begging the Elements to stop.

Amber just looked you, with a mournful expression.

You didn’t really know what to do, a feeling you were getting frustratingly familiar with. On the one hand they were about to send you home, Purple said had said as much. On the other, they also thought you were a demon. Would whatever they were doing send you home, or to some God-forsaken hellscape? Would it do nothing? For all you knew, it could just render you a red smear on the floor.

Before you could decide on what to do, the Elements erupted with a rainbow light (because of course they would) which arced into the air and down directly at you.

Ah fuck it. You thought and raised your arms to meet whatever fate decided.

The torrent of color slammed into you, blinding your vision with color and light as it felt as though someone dumped a lake on your head.

After a moment the color faded, and you raised your head.

And an awkward silence filled the air as you realized that not a goddam thing had happened.

“Huh.” was all you could say.

“WHAT THE HECK!? WHY DIDN’T IT WORK!?” Pride Pony shrieked furiously.

“I-I…I don’t know! Celestia herself made that spell, it should have worked!” Purple stammered, looking significantly less smug than before. Wimpy looked she was about to faint.

“Cheater…” Bouncy’s voice hissed in your ear.

“What now?” Prissy whispered.

“Should we try again?” asked Yeehaw.

The group did their magic rainbow floating routine again. Again, you were nearly flattened by the nauseating pastel colors. And again, you found yourself standing exactly where you were before.

This repeated several times. If you were honest, you lost track about the fifth or sixth time. Whether that was the repetitiveness, or the possible head trauma was debatable.

Eventually the magic-girl wannabes got tired of slinging prisms at you and settled back on the floor panting. Apparently, whatever they were doing was wiping them out.

Father (who had busied himself cowering under his cloak) noticed as well.

“Ha…HA! Y-you have fallen for my…clever ruse! I foresaw your…predictable attack on us. S-So I…inscribed...uh…anti-harmony runes into the summoning circle! The Great One is immune to your pathetic assaults thanks to my brilliance!” he stammered, attempting to make himself sound as cocky as possible.

He’s totally bullshiting. You thought, What kind of IDIOT would fall for-

“It doesn’t matter what you do!” proclaimed Purple “With the power of friendship, we can overcome anything!”

God dammit.

“FOOLS!” Father roared “This day belongs to ME!” He reached into his cloak and produced a silvery ball about the size of an orange. A flash of his crimson magic flicked the ball towards the mares’ hooves, whereupon it shattered on the brick floor. A pinkish-purple smoke filled the air around them, causing Prissy to shriek in panic. The six’s eyes began to droop, and they began to sway. One by one, they fell to they floor, unconscious.

Father blinked. He seemed legitimately surprised that had worked. Then, he grinned his hideous grin.

“Yes…YES! I win!” he exclaimed with devilish glee and turned to you. “Here! A worthy sacrifice for you, Great One! It is time for you to grant me the power I deserve! The souls of the Elements of Harmony are a far greater than that pathetic Am-“

-CRASH-

Father went down like a sack of bricks. Standing behind him was Amber holding the remains of your stool in her magic grip.

As you stand agape Amber darted a hoof across your circle, breaking the pristine white line. The light from it faded away, the darkness spreading across the chamber. She then stares at you, her eyes blazing with an intensity you hadn’t seen before.

“You’re free. What happens now?” she asked flatly.

You didn’t answer immediately. Everything had happened so quickly you hadn’t had time to process it. Stepping out of the former circle, you paused a moment to think.

Honestly, there was only one answer left.

“We run.”