Celestia looked up as her sister's hooves clip-clopped into the dining room, accompanied by an unusual sound. "Luna, are you... humming?" she asked.

"Oh, is the dreadful ruler of night not allowed occasional levity?" Luna responded with a playful smile. She levitated a banana from the plate of fruit on the table and bit into it, peel and all, then held up a hoof when Celestia opened her mouth to explain herself. "Forestall your apologies, sister dear, I am well aware that I am rarely of good temper in the morning. However, I took a minor break to the end of my shift to indulge in the fantasies of two humans."

"Two? That is quite unusual; they usually come alone. Friendly?"

"The female one was, and I suspect her companion to be as well, although his dream was less clear towards his intentions." Luna lifted her bowl of oatmeal to her mouth and gulped down several mouthfuls; Celestia still recoiled slightly, even after years of her sister's sloppy habit. The night mare smiled at Celestia after putting the bowl down, and said, "you would have enjoyed her tea party, Tia. She reminds me of - what was that young student's name - Silverbrook? Very excited to see all of Equestria."

"Silverstream, I believe," Celestia corrected her after downing a cupcake, "and how was the other human? The one you could not get a read on?"

Luna giggled and pointed a hoof at Celestia's own bowl of oatmeal, still nearly full. "I shall not speak of such lurid, lascivious matters with a mere filly who does not finish her oatmeal!"

Celestia glowered at her and shoved a spoonful into her mouth. At least she'd had the foresight to fill it with enough sugar that it ought to count as a dessert, itself. "I'm a year older than you..." she muttered.

"Time truly works in mysterious ways," the smaller mare teased, waiting until her sister had taken a few more bites before continuing, "he wanted me to eat him and his companion with my penis."

Celestia nearly choked on her oatmeal. "He WHAT?!" she shouted, to Luna's uproarious laughter. "That's not- even if they did work like that, humans are too big to-"

Luna interrupted her sister by holding her hooves out wide. "This long," she said, then brought her hooves closer, "and this thick. Plus, he brushed my mane."

Celestia's face burned a bright red as she tried to picture such an oversized cock, then immediately regretted it as her imagination helpfully attached it to Luna. She pushed her half-eaten oatmeal away. "Well, congratulations, dear Luna, I think I will no longer have an appetite for oatmeal for at least a year."

"Did you ever?"

"Nevermind that," the taller alicorn said, looking pointedly away from her sister, "do you know where they might have shown up?"

"Well, a few changelings nearby were having bad dreams about Queen Chrysalis before I visited them, so..." Luna shrugged, then yawned, "somewhere? Ask King Thorax. I'm going to get some actual sleep now."

Celestia unwrapped and began eating another cupcake. "You do that."

Luna walked away from the table, back towards her room. Just before vanishing out of sight, she poked her head around the doorway and called back, "balls big enough to fit three grown mares and then some!" The frustrated groan of her big sister fueled Luna's giggle-filled gallop back to her room.

Author's Note

If this pony hath offended, think but this and all is mended: that they have but slumbered here, while those visions did appear, and this lewd and lurid theme no more yielding than a dream.

...what? I can't just memorize Puck's monologue eight years ago and NOT use it sometimes.