Picking Up The Pieces

Starlight Glimmer. The name evoked an image of somepony who had a lot of confidence, but did not allow it to break through into arrogance. It had been given to her by two parents who, in all honesty, dreamt of big things for their daughter. Her mother had been a rock for her as she grew, fending off trial after trial. Finances, marital problems, even sickness itself had not been enough to tame her. Then…came the rockslide that tore their happy home asunder. Starlight’s mother had thrown her daughter forward and taken a giant boulder straight to her flank. She’d been crushed to death instantly.

Her father, as good as he was, attempted to pick up what had been broken and mend it. He did it in an overly affectionate manner, thus creating the other part of Starlight’s damaged psyche. He believed his daughter was perfect, and inadvertently ignited many fires of embarrassment for the mare. When she showed a little bit of prowess with the art of magic, he made every attempt to send her to Celestia’s school in Canterlot. He even went to the city and begged the board on bended foreleg for his daughter’s acceptance. But, they refused, saying that she was too green for such an advanced course of study. She had lost her dearest friend, Sunburst, when he was shifted into that very same place of education.

So she had become what she was: a hater of cutie marks, a totalitarian tyrant in the vein of collectivist ponies everywhere, and a shunner of the warmth and love that friendship provides. She had lost all hope and, in a rage-fueled need for power and control, devastated others in her quest to siphon everypony else of that same element. It had never been enough, and she had never been happy…that is, until Twilight Sparkle came along and changed her perspective. The Princess of Friendship had gently guided her hooves until she was back on the right path, and now, she was happier than ever.

It was this new and improved Starlight that made her way through the crowded streets of Canterlot on a bright, sunny day. The Festival of the Two Sisters was coming up, and her presence had been requested by the newest ruler of Equestria. That same pony who had so patiently molded her into a proper representation of friendship and trust had asked her to help direct the entire event that year. She was deeply honored that Twilight trusted her with so much, and she silently swore to do the best job that she could.

She had recently taken a vacation from her recently acquired job as Head Mare of the School of Friendship, and visited Sire’s Hollow, her hometown. For the most part, she’d been refreshed by the proceedings. She had attended a reunion of the Sire’s Hollow Magic School, and had seen her father as well. She also saw everypony that she knew, and been caught up on their lives and families. She couldn’t help but notice the large amount of young foals running about at the reunion, and she wondered why she’d never married.

Probably because nopony wanted a dictatorial, sadistic, malevolent ruffian like myself, she told herself as she trotted up to the castle door, and I can’t blame them. I really was a terrible pony.

She was shown to her room and told that Twilight would meet her there, as the Princess was in an audience with an ambassador from the Yaks. So Starlight began unpacking her things. She would be in Canterlot for the better part of two weeks, so her suitcases were packed almost to bursting. The problem was that Trixie had insisted on helping her in this task, and then had basically overruled every single thing that Starlight tried to tell her. As much as she loved Trixie, she had to admit that the magician had the worst listening skills of anypony she’d ever met. But, all the same, Trixie was a friend, and she just couldn’t bring herself to dislike something that she did.

She managed to work around Trixie’s haphazard packing system, and then settled down on her bed to read. She selected one of her favorite books, The Science of Sleeping Spells, and flipped it open to page one. She had just barely begun, when she suddenly stopped and noticed that this was the same room she had stayed in when she helped Princesses Celestia and Luna solve a friendship problem. She even noticed the music box on the dresser, although this time, Twilight was not the dancing pony on top. She chuckled as she remembered how Twilight had cast a spell to transfer herself into that statuette, and then nearly burst out into a neurotic episode when she found out that Starlight had swapped the royal sisters’ cutie marks.

Oh, Twilight, Starlight thought, just what would I do without you?

She got up and used her magic to turn the small dial that came with the player. As the soothing music slowly played with her ear canals, Starlight’s thoughts turned to her foal hood. She recognized the song as a traditional Equestrian lullaby that her mother sang to her. She remembered playing with Sunburst, and how much he taught her about magic. She remembered developing a massive amount of young, rather naïve, love for the colt. Then…she remembered him as he went away. She saw his tail disappearing over the horizon, never to be seen again. She remembered how she wept bitterly into her pillow over his departure, and how she had ripped her father into ribbons when she refused his attempts to help her. She also remembered going to that terrifying magic school without him, and how…how…

NO! She suddenly yelled internally. She panicked and used her magic to fling the music box across the room. It nailed one of the expensive mirrors across the space, shattering it instantly. The glass shards fell to the floor, in some kind of reflection of the current state of Starlight’s mind. It almost seemed as if she’d been trapped inside the mirror as a foal, and then, when the teenage years hit, she’d been completely broken. Everything came rushing back, and she saw shadows begin to creep along the wall. She thought she saw a red light, and she thought that a voice told her that she’d never be good enough for anypony else. Her breathing became rushed, and she fell out of bed with the book landing beside her.

“No…please…don’t hurt me!” She cried, “I’ll be a good mare! I’ll be a good mare! Just don’t hurt me!”

Suddenly, the door to the room burst open, and Twilight rushed in. She immediately gathered the quivering Starlight into an embrace and just held her for a minute. She had been walking up to the door to meet with her friend when she heard the anguished cries coming from inside. She immediately knew that the unicorn needed some friendly reassurance, so she took herself to the task. Now, she cradled Starlight close to her chest and allowed the light purple pony to release every emotion that she needed to.

“It’s okay, Star,” Twilight said, “I’m here.”

“Oh, Twilight, thank Celestia you showed up!” Starlight exclaimed, “there were these shadows, and the creepy music box…and…and…and-“

“Creepy music box?” Twilight asked, before looking over and noticing the shattered mirror and miniature orchestrion laying next to it. She immediately understood that Starlight had had one of her episodic bouts with her past, and felt no anger or disappointment regarding the broken glass. That could always be fixed. Starlight’s mind was a different story.

The light purple mare backed away and wiped her eyes. “Thank you,” she said sincerely, “I…I guess I let my emotions get the better of me. I’m so sorry about the mirror. I promise, I’ll pay for it.”

Twilight held up a hoof. “Let’s worry about that later. Right now, my concern is you. Did you have another flashback?”

Starlight’s face took on an odd look. “Well…somewhat. I mean, I returned to somewhere buried deep in the recesses of my mind. But, it wasn’t…the town.”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to look odd. If it wasn’t about Starlight’s old village, then what was it about? She desperately wanted to know, because that might help her to clear up Starlight’s problem. She felt an old curiosity, bound to nothing but her own soul, begin to stir and move systematically. It seemed to move her eyes, then her ears, then her legs, and finally, her entire body. She suddenly came alive with questions regarding Starlight’s past, and the things that she might have kept hidden, even from her.

“So…what was it, then?”

Starlight shook her head. “I just can’t tell you, Twi. You’re one of my best friends in this entire world, and I trust you implicitly, but…I just can’t.”

“But, Star, if you don’t tell me, then I can’t help you.”

“I think I may be beyond help,” Starlight said sadly before curling up on the bed and looking away.

She was soon joined by Twilight, who did nothing but pull the sad mare into an embrace and gently run a hoof through her mane. She’d done this before, and it took the two back to when they were nothing but a teacher and her student. When Starlight had been sad or angry, this was Twilight’s method of calming her, and it had always worked like a charm. It was no different in the here and now, as Twilight’s soothing movements lulled Starlight into a sense of security that was truer and more beautiful than any she’d ever experienced before. Twilight had taken her mother’s place as the rock in her life, and she needed to cling to her right now.

“Are you gonna hoof through my mane all day?” She asked as a small smile spread.

“No,” Twilight said, “but I am gonna do it until you realize just how much I love and care about you. You’re like the sister I never had, Starlight. I just wanna help you.”

Starlight turned over so she could look at Twilight’s eyes. “I know, Twi, but all the same, I just can’t relive those horrible moments. That school…the look in their eyes…it was…”

“What school?”

Starlight sighed. “I’m sorry, Twilight. I’m not gonna relive that.”

“Then, I’m gonna keep hoofing.”

Her hoof was getting to the point of being gratingly soft and gentle. Starlight loved it when Twilight took this time to be close with her, but it was becoming kind of annoying. She tried to pull away, but Twilight only held her closer. Her smile was absolutely impeccable, and the light purple unicorn just couldn’t resist her friendliness. She realized that Twilight was exactly the kind of pony she needed to talk to, even if it meant reliving the pain of what had been.

“Alright,” she said, “if you’ll stop, I’ll tell you.”

Twilight acquiesced.

“Okay,” Starlight went on, “it was at the Sire’s Hollow Magic School. Sunburst had already been shipped off here, and I was incredibly lonely. I tried to make friends at the school, but all anypony did was mock and jeer at me. I was bullied excessively, Twilight. I had my hair pulled, my books knocked over, my lunch money stolen. You name it, they did it to me.”

Twilight’s eyes went wide. “Well, why in Equestria would anypony bully you?”

“Because…of my cutie mark,” Starlight said sadly, “a lot of the mares thought that it was plain and unremarkable. Some even found it downright ugly…or so they said. They always liked to show off theirs and they got a lot of stallions. But me? I was lucky if somepony spoke to me nicely every once in a while. I was on the bottom of the totem pole of popularity, and nopony wanted to be my friend. No one even took the time to get to know me, or ask me about how my life was. No, they just hit me, pushed me, spat on me, or yelled some unrepeatable insult at me. My life was a landscape of horrors…one…right after the other. It helped me turn on my own cutie mark and led me down that awful path I trotted. Sunburst’s leaving started it…and they finished it.”

Twilight nudged closer to Starlight. “But you have friends now…good friends that would lay down their lives for you.”

“Yeah, I know, but even that can’t fix what’s been broken. I’ve been broken, Twilight. I saw them all when I went to Sire’s Hollow a few days ago, and it made me feel even more broken. They all had families, and they all bragged about how well they’re doing.”

“Well, considering where you were, I’d say you’re doing pretty well yourself,” Twilight said with an encouraging smile.

“I guess so,” Starlight said, “but still. When they saw me, they acted amiably, but…they gave me these looks. Their hatred hadn’t left them. I could see that.”

“Look, Star,” Twilight said, “there will always be ponies who do mean things to you, but that shouldn’t tear you away from the wonderful friend and kind pony you’ve become. It also shouldn’t cause frightful fits of violence. As far as fixing what’s broken is concerned, a little friendship always helps.”

Twilight gathered Starlight into another embrace as the light purple mare smiled back. She and Twilight then combined both of their magic and repaired the mirror, just like Twilight had helped repair Starlight’s broken heart. That moment was one of the closest the two had ever shared, and it made Starlight see that she still had things to learn about what being a good friend was. She felt badly that she’d broken the mirror, but then realized that Twilight didn’t care two rips about it. The Princess only cared about seeing her friend’s soul rejoined unto itself.

“Feel better?” Twilight asked after they’d repaired the mirror and Starlight as well.

“Yeah, a little,” Starlight said as they sat up and looked at each other. “It still hurts, though.”

“Scars can do that sometimes,” Twilight said, “especially if you aggravate some old injury. But, you have good memories of Sire’s Hollow, right?”

“Of course!” Starlight said, “I have memories of my parents and Sunburst and…well, everything before he left.”

“Exactly,” Twilight said, “think of those. I find that pain melts when you think of time spent with a good friend.”

“Like this?”

“Just like this.”

Starlight smiled and nudged Twilight playfully. “Come on, Your Majesty. I believe we have a festival to plan.”

“I believe you’re right, Ms. Head Mare,” Twilight responded with the same tone.

As they left the room, Starlight couldn’t help but look at the mirror that she and Twilight had repaired together. She realized that she had just as much to do with her own reparation as Twilight had. She thought of the warmth in Twilight’s gaze and the gentle way that she weaved friendship and hope into her dark situation. It was moments like these that made her the happiest pony in all Equestria, and she knew there would be more. She could always look to her friends to be the perfect solution for any problem.